I am having a breakdown

[plain jane]

I don't think I can go on and I don't know what to do. There's too much on my plate.

 

For starters, I have kids with serious food intolerances/allergies. I have to cook 3 meals per day from scratch. There's not one single meal that I can make that everyone in the family can eat... I consider it lucky if I only have to cook two meals for each meal. This works out to at least 6 different meals, cooked from scratch, every single day. It's exhausting and time consuming to come up with ideas and have the time to cook so much from scratch. I always have all four burners going and meal time is just so chaotic and stressful for me. :(

 

My oldest dd struggles with math in ways I can't wrap my head around. I can't figure out what's going on and have no clue how to "fix" it. Not to mention that with constant distractions from the kids who are not school ate (fighting, diaper changes, etc) we get more and more behind each day in school and the stress of that is really getting to me.

 

My 2yo is an absolute nightmare. I wouldn't wish this child on my worst enemy. Non-stop destruction, mischief, messes everywhere, temper tantrums, screaming fits, defiance, climbing any and all furniture. Oh man, the list goes on. This kid is picky about what to wear- temper tantrum if I don't put on exactly the right thing (which isn't always clean). It takes 30min just to get this one child out of the house. This child destroys everything.

 

I bought my kids the Playmobil Nativity set. The older ones love it. I put it in a decent spot but within a day the 2yo has lost all but 2 pieces. I may as well have just burned my money. The older kids are devastated. They spent hours playing with it yesterday. :( I'm so sad for them.

 

I wanted to have my preschooler more engaged in things so I bought him some nice lego sets. He was so thrilled to have that time with mommy to do legos and I was amazed how easily he can put things together. He really cherished his sets, kept them out of the way (they were just little cars/airplanes) but within 2 days all were destroyed and all over the house by the 2yo. Again, wasted money. Tears from my preschooler and a mommy who just feels so lousy about it all.

 

Every day is the same. I must cook 6 meals, keep the house clean, struggle to get my dd through math, do all the school subjects, keep the preschooler engaged, and contain the 2yo, who, before I even wake up every. single. day. has taken every last piece of clothing out of the closet and scattered them all over the floor. The room looks like a sty every single day. I can't deal with that but I must.

 

Then there's the cat who's on the table/in the pantry/read: everywhere looking for food all the time. I can spray water, do whatever, the only solution is any and all dishes and food must be put away immediately after eating and be set out immediately upon eating. Meals are such a nightmare.

 

My dog is in and out all day. Whines to go out, whines when outside. The weather has been yuck so muddy feet must be washed every time or I must wash the floors.

 

And the older kids lately, I don't know what's gotten into them but they squabble something fierce. Or they can't agree on what to do so one is doing this craft and the other is doing that craft and before we know it there's paint and glitter and this and that and paper everywhere. :( They do help clean up but the bulk of it is always me. And through it all the 2yo is screaming and I mean SCREAMING about this or that. It's just too much for me.

 

My dh has been sick or unavailable for days so it's all been me and I'm at my wits end.

 

I can't do this anymore. I just don't know how. :(

Edited December 2, 2010 by plain jane

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[JudoMom]

I don't think I can go on and I don't know what to do. There's too much on my plate.

 

For starters, I have kids with serious food intolerances/allergies. I have to cook 3 meals per day from scratch. There's not one single meal that I can make that everyone in the family can eat... I consider it lucky if I only have to cook two meals for each meal. This works out to at least 6 different meals, cooked from scratch, every single day. It's exhausting and time consuming to come up with ideas and have the time to cook so much from scratch. I always have all four burners going and meal time is just so chaotic and stressful for me. :(

 

My oldest dd struggles with math in ways I can't wrap my head around. I can't figure out what's going on and have no clue how to "fix" it. Not to mention that with constant distractions from the kids who are not school ate (fighting, diaper changes, etc) we get more and more behind each day in school and the stress of that is really getting to me.

 

My 2yo is an absolute nightmare. I wouldn't wish this child on my worst enemy. Non-stop destruction, mischief, messes everywhere, temper tantrums, screaming fits, defiance, climbing any and all furniture. Oh man, the list goes on. This kid is picky about what to wear- temper tantrum if I don't put on exactly the right thing (which isn't always clean). It takes 30min just to get this one child out of the house. This child destroys everything.

 

I bought my kids the Playmobil Nativity set. The older ones love it. I put it in a decent spot but within a day the 2yo has lost all but 2 pieces. I may as well have just burned my money. The older kids are devastated. They spent hours playing with it yesterday. :( I'm so sad for them.

 

I wanted to have my preschooler more engaged in things so I bought him some nice lego sets. He was so thrilled to have that time with mommy to do legos and I was amazed how easily he can put things together. He really cherished his sets, kept them out of the way (they were just little cars/airplanes) but within 2 days all were destroyed and all over the house by the 2yo. Again, wasted money. Tears from my preschooler and a mommy who just feels so lousy about it all.

 

Every day is the same. I must cook 6 meals, keep the house clean, struggle to get my dd through math, do all the school subjects, keep the preschooler engaged, and contain the 2yo, who, before I even wake up every. single. day. has taken every last piece of clothing out of the closet and scattered them all over the floor. The room looks like a sty every single day. I can't deal with that but I must.

 

Then there's the cat who's on the table/in the pantry/read: everywhere looking for food all the time. I can spray water, do whatever, the only solution is any and all dishes and food must be put away immediately after eating and be set out immediately upon eating. Meals are such a nightmare.

 

My dog is in and out all day. Whines to go out, whines when outside. The weather has been yuck so muddy feet must be washed every time or I must wash the floors.

 

And the older kids lately, I don't know what's gotten into them but they squabble something fierce. Or they can't agree on what to do so one is doing this craft and the other is doing that craft and before we know it there's paint and glitter and this and that and paper everywhere. :( They do help clean up but the bulk of it is always me. And through it all the 2yo is screaming and I mean SCREAMING about this or that. It's just too much for me.

 

My dh has been sick or unavailable for days so it's all been me and I'm at my wits end.

 

I can't do this anymore. I just don't know how. :(

 

:grouphug:

 

I understand. My boys don't argue, but this week they've been impossible. My ds6 (my former 2 year old that you described) just came to be sobbing because he accidentally kept poking ds10 with his pencil, and then he accidentally poked ds8. What in the world? I've got what feels like a gazillion things on my plate. I'm not feeling well, I'm not sleeping well, and I'm not thinking well. I've had a lot of doctor appointments, with more to come. I'm at the beginning of my hormonal time. We work best with routine, but looking at the calendar, any routine is shot until at least January. I just want peace and freakin' quiet so I can string a thought together, but I get nothing. I know it's the holiday excitement, but I might lose my mind. This weekend I'm going to patch together an emergency plan that will get us through Christmas if all goes well.

 

Um, sorry about that. But it feels good to get it out. It's a shame you don't live closer--we could ditch the kids and go for coffee. :grouphug:

[Mothersweets]

I'm sorry. :grouphug:

 

I have an idea for the dog: get a crate and use it! Having a crate for the dog has saved my sanity many a day. Hmm, I wonder if you could do the same for the cat?

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

What kind of allergies are you dealing with? I would try to make everyone eat the same meal.

[Mrs Mungo]

How old are all of your kids?

 

Can you get some help of any kind?

 

About the cooking-can you get dh or a friend and/or your older kids to help twice a month and make up a bunch of meals at once? Are there things you could make up and freeze in small portions?

[plain jane]

I'm sorry. :grouphug:

 

I have an idea for the dog: get a crate and use it! Having a crate for the dog has saved my sanity many a day. Hmm, I wonder if you could do the same for the cat?

 

I'd love to get rid of both, but it would break the kids' hearts and I'll forever be the worst mommy ever. I'm already too close to getting that award some days. :(

[newbie]

How old are all of your kids?

 

Can you get some help of any kind?

 

About the cooking-can you get dh or a friend and/or your older kids to help twice a month and make up a bunch of meals at once? Are there things you could make up and freeze in small portions?

 

The freezer thing is a great idea, or if you can swing it, a personal chef can help. They do all shopping, and cooking and help w/menu planning. It might be worth it to take off burden.

 

I think there is a personal chef association to look up ones near you.

[plain jane]

How old are all of your kids?

 

Can you get some help of any kind?

 

About the cooking-can you get dh or a friend and/or your older kids to help twice a month and make up a bunch of meals at once? Are there things you could make up and freeze in small portions?

 

Nope. No help. No family for hundreds of miles. Friends are pretty busy with their own broods. Dh is :willy_nilly: with work and his business (that I help him out with too).

 

I thought about making meals in advance but not everything freezes well. We have so many food intolerances. Between all of us there's gluten, soy, rice, corn, chicken, pork, bananas, apples, strawberries, pineapple, nuts, dairy, canned tomatoes, eggs... I'm sure there's more but I'm not thinking straight right now. :001_huh:

 

I try to make smoothies so the kids can have fresh fruit/veggies each day but even then, I have to make at least 2 different smoothies and sort through frozen fruit to make sure that so-and-so doesn't have this and the other doesn't have that. :willy_nilly:

Edited December 2, 2010 by plain jane

[plain jane]

The freezer thing is a great idea, or if you can swing it, a personal chef can help. They do all shopping, and cooking and help w/menu planning. It might be worth it to take off burden.

 

I think there is a personal chef association to look up ones near you.

 

 

Sigh.. but who would pay for said personal chef? :tongue_smilie:

[Little Nyssa]

Wow. You are doing great to be able to function at all, with everything that's going on!! :grouphug:

Can the two year old ever be confined sometimes to one or two rooms by a gate? That way the mess could be localized at least. Maybe he is two strong though.

Hang in there.

[plain jane]

What kind of allergies are you dealing with? I would try to make everyone eat the same meal.

 

Between all of us there's gluten, soy, rice, potato, corn, chicken, pork, bananas, apples, strawberries, pineapple, nuts, dairy, canned tomatoes, eggs... I'm sure there's more but I'm not thinking straight right now.

Edited December 2, 2010 by plain jane

[snickelfritz]

Can you reduce your 2-year-old's world? Lock the dresser, move his clothes out, lock them in suitcases? Does he share a room with brothers? Remember that Judy Blume book , Fudge, where they put a sliding lock up high, on the outside of big brothers room? NOT to lock kids in :). When brother left his room, he locked it to keep little brother out while no one was in there. Maybe you could delegate 1 room to be 2 year-old free. He's not allowed in and anything brought out is known to be at risk.

[plain jane]

Wow. You are doing great to be able to function at all, with everything that's going on!! :grouphug:

Can the two year old ever be confined sometimes to one or two rooms by a gate? That way the mess could be localized at least. Maybe he is two strong though.

Hang in there.

 

He's strong and loud. And lately, ever so needy. Everything is mommy, mommy, mommy. Nobody else can do anything for him. He won't sleep without me, eat without me, wash hands without me, you get the idea. It's utterly draining/exhausting.

[plain jane]

Can you reduce your 2-year-old's world? Lock the dresser, move his clothes out, lock them in suitcases? Does he share a room with brothers? Remember that Judy Blume book , Fudge, where they put a sliding lock up high, on the outside of big brothers room? NOT to lock kids in :). When brother left his room, he locked it to keep little brother out while no one was in there. Maybe you could delegate 1 room to be 2 year-old free. He's not allowed in and anything brought out is known to be at risk.

 

Oh, how I've wished for that. We don't have the room for that though. There's not really anywhere else to put the clothes right now unless I start buying furniture, which doesn't work well with the budget. We could make it work financially but part of me hates the thought when hopefully in a year or so this phase will be over... it does end, right? :tongue_smilie: There's other things I'd rather spend money on, kwim?

[specialmama]

Jane, you need a break, hon. You have a lot on your plate and you need regular breaks before it gets too desperate. Call a sitter, a friend, anyone and just go out and watch a movie and have dinner by yourself. Then come home when they're all in bed and have a bath. Forget school for now. Get them all involved in cooking and have fun. They will still learn using measuring cups, etc., and you'll get to re-group. :grouphug: How old are the kids?

[snickelfritz]

If you're having to re-fold and put up his clothes everyday, I would be desperate enough to just keep his clothes in a laundry basket in your closet/ on the dryer, etc....

[StephanieF]

I'm not surprised your having a breakdown. Mine would have happened months ago dealing with all that!

I would try and sort the food issue out first as that is so time consuming.

 

Can you work out a couple of fail safe meals that you can all eat. Cottage pie with minced beef and mashed potato on top for example. Veg lasange without the pasta. I'm sure together we could come up with a list of say 10 meals that you could make in bulk and freeze and rotate.

 

If you reduced your cooking time to a sensible amount of time then you could perhaps get to some of the other stuff?

I think you should take baby steps. Can you sling your 2 yr old in a back carrier? Does he just need to be with you? Give him a job to do with you, involve him, easier said than done I know. Can your other children work whilst he sleeps?

As I said I would reduce the amount of things you cook if poss and go from there

Stephanie

[JoyfulMama]

:grouphug:.

 

Some ideas, if you are looking for some, from someone else who has had a few too many bad days in a row... ;)

 

Any way to lock the closet, so the 2yo can't open it? Get creative - there's got to be a way! I had to buy a fridge lock when my 2yo was getting out eggs - they were so much fun to break on the kitchen floor! :001_huh:

 

Meals - any chance to make enough for leftovers each time? I make everything from scratch, too, but I like to make a lot, so I always have fast things to heat up in the fridge or in the freezer. (Last night I came home to find a whole dish missing from the fridge. I texted dh, as I figured he had eaten it for dinner, and he sent me a text back with a pic of the dish sitting on his office desk, almost empty.)

 

I used to LOVE daily nap/quiet time for ALL (especially me!). :D

 

Oh, and my second favorite time of day is outside time. Doesn't matter what the weather - they need the time to scream, run, bike, climb, and shake off the wigglies! It's much more peaceful when they come inside. ;)

[plain jane]

Jane, you need a break, hon. You have a lot on your plate and you need regular breaks before it gets too desperate. Call a sitter, a friend, anyone and just go out and watch a movie and have dinner by yourself. Then come home when they're all in bed and have a bath. Forget school for now. Get them all involved in cooking and have fun. They will still learn using measuring cups, etc., and you'll get to re-group. :grouphug: How old are the kids?

 

They are 9, 5, 4, 2.

[FairProspects]

I can so relate to your post!! The stress of extreme food allergies and cooking is so difficult day in and day out! I would cook with you if you lived nearby!

 

I do agree though, you need some kind of a break (which is the same conclusion I came to last Spring). Can the 2 y.o. go to preschool out of the house (that was my solution this year)? Could you hire another homeschooled teenager once a week or so to entertain the littles so you can do focused school (also one of my helps last year)? Would getting more organized (freezing meals ahead, huge meal planning/crockpot use, chore charts/schedules) help things run more smoothly? At various times I have employed all of these methods depending on what was most needed. I'm assuming a housecleaner is out of the budget, right? If not, that could be just what you need!

 

My Dh is starting up a business and working all the time too and I completely feel your pain. Sometimes it is just a do the next thing and cope with a messy house kind of day or season. :grouphug:

 

ETA: I'm also considering going to paper plates for a bit to have one less thing to do. Sometimes the out of the box solutions might be the best and things will always be different next year!

Edited December 2, 2010 by FairProspects

[delaney]

Okay I don't mean to sound harsh but I have a 2 year old and he is the 6th 2 year old I have raised. I FIRMLY believe that at 2 they understand a lot including consequences. Mine throws legos at his brother's head and his hand gets slapped very firmly. He won't cooperate he gets locked up in the highchair with the straps on him to sit right next to me while I do something. We put gates up to keep him out of places. For 6 months the kitchen chairs were roped to the table after every meal b/c I got SICK of him climbing on the table!

As for the allergies I only feel some of your pain b/c my kids aren't as bad. I would do the make ahead thing for sure.:grouphug:

[plain jane]

:grouphug:.

 

Some ideas, if you are looking for some, from someone else who has had a few too many bad days in a row... ;)

 

Any way to lock the closet, so the 2yo can't open it? Get creative - there's got to be a way! I had to buy a fridge lock when my 2yo was getting out eggs - they were so much fun to break on the kitchen floor! :001_huh:

 

Meals - any chance to make enough for leftovers each time? I make everything from scratch, too, but I like to make a lot, so I always have fast things to heat up in the fridge or in the freezer. (Last night I came home to find a whole dish missing from the fridge. I texted dh, as I figured he had eaten it for dinner, and he sent me a text back with a pic of the dish sitting on his office desk, almost empty.)

 

I used to LOVE daily nap/quiet time for ALL (especially me!). :D

 

Oh, and my second favorite time of day is outside time. Doesn't matter what the weather - they need the time to scream, run, bike, climb, and shake off the wigglies! It's much more peaceful when they come inside. ;)

 

I try so hard to make left-overs, but if there are any (and it's rare) dh needs to take them for lunches. :tongue_smilie: If I were to make bigger meals, I'd have to use much bigger pots than I'm already using and we'd need another stove to fit everything on so I could cook so we can eat as a family. :001_huh:

 

It's really frustrating. I'm sure there's some sort of way to work this but I am too drained to figure it out. Lately, I'm just happy if I don't burn a meal because I got distracted by one child or another. :001_huh:

[Remudamom]

I'm so sorry. Wish I was close enough to take your destructo child for the day. I love the terrible twos, even when they're truly terrible.

[Avila]

:grouphug:

 

I had one of those two-year-olds, and I lived to tell about it. That part will get better. Mine is much, much better at 9.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[plain jane]

Okay I don't mean to sound harsh but I have a 2 year old and he is the 6th 2 year old I have raised. I FIRMLY believe that at 2 they understand a lot including consequences. Mine throws legos at his brother's head and his hand gets slapped very firmly. He won't cooperate he gets locked up in the highchair with the straps on him to sit right next to me while I do something. We put gates up to keep him out of places. For 6 months the kitchen chairs were roped to the table after every meal b/c I got SICK of him climbing on the table!

As for the allergies I only feel some of your pain b/c my kids aren't as bad. I would do the make ahead thing for sure.:grouphug:

 

There are consequences. I do time out, we do punish for throwing things/breaking things. I've never had one so persistent before. It's not like I don't try my darndest to discipline this kid. :(

 

I know you don't mean to sound harsh. I do try with this one. This kid is just so darn stubborn. :glare:

[Mom-ninja.]

Do your kids have a bedroom separate from the 2 yr old? Their bedroom can be off limits to the toddler. We do this. My older boys keep all their toys that they don't want destroyed or lost by our 2 yr old, in their room. If you have too you can lock the door.

 

It's just so much easier to move things out of reach from a 2 yr old than to deal with the constant mess and destruction.

 

You know your 2 yr old is a little tornado so keep things away from him. If the older kids don't put their things away and it is lost by the toddler, you don't have to feel guilty.

 

I also have kids with food intolerances. However, none are life threatening. So, my middle ds gets eggs every now and then even though he's sensitive to egg and egg white. Both older boys are not supposed to have tomatoes, but they still get tomato pasta sauce on occasion. My oldest shouldn't have wheat but if I make regular biscuits for dinner, he'll eat one. We've found that as long as they are not eating a lot of the forbidden foods with high frequency, they can tolerate some here and there.

 

I've spoken with my friends who deal with food intolerances as well. They all have said the same. Perhaps you can do this too.

[Mrs Mungo]

Nope. No help. No family for hundreds of miles. Friends are pretty busy with their own broods. Dh is :willy_nilly: with work and his business (that I help him out with too).

 

I know how that is. We've never lived closer than 2,000 miles to any family. :grouphug:

 

I thought about making meals in advance but not everything freezes well. We have so many food intolerances. Between all of us there's gluten, soy, rice, corn, chicken, pork, bananas, apples, strawberries, pineapple, nuts, dairy, canned tomatoes, eggs... I'm sure there's more but I'm not thinking straight right now. :001_huh:

 

What are 10 of your go-to meals for lunch and 10 of your go-to meals for dinner?

 

I try to make smoothies so the kids can have fresh fruit/veggies each day but even then, I have to make at least 2 different smoothies and sort through frozen fruit to make sure that so-and-so doesn't have this and the other doesn't have that. :willy_nilly:

 

He's strong and loud. And lately, ever so needy. Everything is mommy, mommy, mommy. Nobody else can do anything for him. He won't sleep without me, eat without me, wash hands without me, you get the idea. It's utterly draining/exhausting.

 

Talk a walk first thing after breakfast. Hold his hand, sing him songs, have him race to the next tree and then back to mommy. Can you make a toddler spot near where you do school? His own little table or mat? When you get back from your walk, give him something to *do*. Lots of toddlers are whiny, clingy and troublesome because they are bored. See if your library has "I Can Do It, I Can Do It!" or "Play and Learn the Montessori Way." You could also try creating some toddler bags, here are some blogs/sites with ideas:

http://chasingcheerios.blogspot.com/

 

http://www.musesofmegret.com/2008/08/14/preschooltoddler-activity-bags/

 

 

Have you tried to break him of the habit of sleeping with you? Are you interested in trying? I know some moms don't want to, but if it's wearing on you, might be something to think about.

 

If you're having to re-fold and put up his clothes everyday, I would be desperate enough to just keep his clothes in a laundry basket in your closet/ on the dryer, etc....

 

I agree. I would keep the laundry out of his reach, somehow.

 

Can you work out a couple of fail safe meals that you can all eat. Cottage pie with minced beef and mashed potato on top for example. Veg lasange without the pasta. I'm sure together we could come up with a list of say 10 meals that you could make in bulk and freeze and rotate.

 

If you reduced your cooking time to a sensible amount of time then you could perhaps get to some of the other stuff?

 

:iagree:Give us an idea of what you're cooking now, maybe we can come up with some more easy and/or freezable and/or crockpot meals.

 

Oh, and my second favorite time of day is outside time. Doesn't matter what the weather - they need the time to scream, run, bike, climb, and shake off the wigglies! It's much more peaceful when they come inside. ;)

 

:iagree:

[plain jane]

I'm so sorry. Wish I was close enough to take your destructo child for the day. I love the terrible twos, even when they're truly terrible.

 

You know, I would love it too if I didn't have all the other responsibilities. I have kids violin exams coming up and dh's business to help run, and schooling and this and that and just. too. much. stuff. :banghead:

[mo2]

Here are my thoughts:

 

1. We have a baby gate to my older kid's room so the toddlers can't get in and destroy things. Anything brought out into the living room/kitchen is fair game. So, if she doesn't want something broke, it had better be kept in her room.

 

2. Can you freeze any meals? Or even snacks? With that list of food allergies, I can't even imagine what is left to feed them! What would happen if you made big bunches of smoothes in advance and froze them like popsicles? I freeze pancakes and waffles all the time. When you're browning hamburger, do a bunch and freeze it.

 

3. I hear you on the clothing issues! My 3yo does the same thing. A lot of times I just leave his clothes in a basket in my bedroom because if I put them in his dresser, they end up strung out all over the house.

 

I'm not sure if any of this is helpful, but I feel your pain! I hope things get better.

[Laughingmommy]

I hope things are starting to look a little better for you. Are there ways you can cut corners? Things you can fail at that wouldn't permanently damage the kids? I always try to remember that, as a Mom, I can't fail at letting them feel loved by me. For me, that means I have to do what I need to do to be ABLE to be loving towards them. If that means disposable diapers instead of cloth, so be it. Take-out meals or cereal for dinner, okay. No homeschooling this week, whatever. House totally cluttered up with mess, let it go. Because in the end, what is important to me is not being a good care-taker. What is truly important to me is the kids FEELING loved by me. My kids don't feel the love so much when I'm tired and cranky, even if the house is clean and the cooking is done. The #1 most challenging thing for me thus far has been to figure out what makes me a happy woman so that I can be a happy Mom. I don't want my kids to grow up thinking that I sacrificed my life for them. I want them to know that they enrich my world every single moment I know I them. I thank them all the time for being in my life. I thank them extra loudly when I feel like killing them! :lol: (incidentally, it's also why my husband will hear me randomly call out that I love him - it's usually when I feel the very opposite, even if I don't want to) Who knows, maybe when my kids are grown they'll blame me for being such an incompetent Mom. :glare: If they do, I'll be happy to agree with them and gently let them know that I had my reasons and thank them again for being my kids! Very loudly!... you know, to remind myself to be grateful.

 

Pei

[Trish]

I like the freeze-ahead idea. My organized friends do that -- don't make "one" meal -- make two or three of the same thing, and freeze the others. Second, does everything have to be made "from scratch?" Can't some of the meals be simpler? Usually our breakfasts are quite simple. Lunch, no one eats the same thing anyway, they have limited choices from the "lunch menu" of what we have on hand.

 

Can the olders help with the food preparation, at least for breakfast and lunch? (sorry, should've looked at the ages)

 

So you really need lists of exactly what food options you have for various children, make sure the key ingredients are on hand, and especially "what to do if I need something quick," etc. (I'm not downplaying the stress of all this. I feel like a short order cook myself sometimes.) But MAKE SURE you're doing what NEEDS to be done, not just serving because you've always done it this way. (I had to break myself of certain habits because I was just "used" to buttering their toast, etc. when they were old enough to do it themselves.)

 

Re: the 2-year-old, would gates help? Can you assign an older to be "in charge" of the 2-year-old when you cannot actively supervise? Can they take turns? Stuff that they don't want broken needs to go "up high" when they're done playing with it.

 

We are able to put the cats in the laundry room and shut the door when they get too obnoxious. (the litterbox is in there) If that isn't an option, a good-sized crate or other temporary area might do it for your peace of mind.

 

Maybe try to tackle this problem in bits, and it can gradually get better. I'll pray for your situation!

[mo2]

Oh, and I also agree with outdoor time. Sounds like your 2yo definitely needs it.

[Parrothead]

Playpen or baby gate, soup every day, and MUS.

 

Put these on the closet doors up high where he can't reach.

 

Put up extra tall baby gates to keep your 2-year old contained in one room which has been baby proofed.

 

There are a lot of veggies you didn't list. Make a big pot of veggie beef soup at the beginning of the week. Make some veggie casseroles with a white sauce of whatever kind of alternative milk you can use. Can the family have oatmeal for breakfast? Make simple meals with beef or fish. Your kids cannot afford to be picky. You may have to retrain them to eat what you put in front of them. I don't know. you didn't mention picky eaters though.

 

Your two year old may not want to sleep or wash up or whatever but that has to be too bad. If it takes him kicking or screaming let someone else wash him up. Otherwise he learns that all he has to do is behave a certain way and he gets what he wants.

 

Get a baby sitter one day a week and/or put him in a mother's morning out program.

[lmrich]

my son when two could climb any babygate really anything icluding the top of a fridge. Get locks on doors, lock your closet; it can be done. Really if you can't keep up with him (no judgements...I was always running with mine) make the space smaller so you can keep up with him.

[katemary63]

He's strong and loud. And lately, ever so needy. Everything is mommy, mommy, mommy. Nobody else can do anything for him. He won't sleep without me, eat without me, wash hands without me, you get the idea. It's utterly draining/exhausting.

 

At some point, a 2 year old like this needs limits and discipline. He doesn't get to make all his choices. Getting him used to the word "no" and teaching him there are some things he is NOT allowed to do would do a world of good for all of you.

[kwickimom]

My 2YO is the same way. He whines and cries and throws fits and destroys things ALL.DAY.LONG. He never sleeps and is up at all hours destroying things. I did lock every single thing him and DS own in a closet. We just got a slide lock thingy for the top. I have put all my valuables in totes and stored them in the basement (which has a BIG ol lock on it) someone is watching/playing with him every minute of the day. I rotate his toys constantly, so there are very few in his closet.

 

All other rooms of the house also have locks on them. All the cabinets have locks on them. Everything that can be locked up is locked up. He has strict rules and every single fit he throws he gets put in his room and I lock the door until he calms down. Time out does not work and I do not have the time or energy to "Nanny" it and put him in a corner 5 millions times a day for weeks. Not happening here. I cannot give the child an inch. oh yeah did I mention he cusses like a sailor (thanks to a grandpa) This is a child I am embarrassed to take anywhere. and its winter...SIGH

 

As for the allergies....I would just make a list of the meals that each person can eat. Put them in order from simple to hard. Cross reference and if you can match up some meals to as many people as possible. I would keep breakfast and lunch the same for each person all week for now. Maybe make 2-3 dinner each and rotate. Take a week off of school and get a weeks worth ahead. Put aside one day a week to cook ahead. No one is going to die if they eat the same things everyday. We pretty much eat the same things everyday here and everyone is fine with it.

 

There is only so much one preson can do.

 

Can you let them go crazy outside in the morning and run them ragged and then possibly the youngers will come in and watch a DVD while you school DD9? My 2YO never seems to tire but he will settle for a movie after some physical activity. I chase him around and have the other kids race him and then try and have him do laps or chase the dog. My DD4 is in charge of our dog and lets her in and out. We have it where her crate is right by the back door so she is trained to go directly in it when she come sin so no muddy paws here!

HTH

[mo2]

At some point, a 2 year old like this needs limits and discipline. He doesn't get to make all his choices. Getting him used to the word "no" and teaching him there are some things he is NOT allowed to do would do a world of good for all of you.

 

 

I'm sure she's already trying to do this. Some kids are more stubborn than others.

[kwickimom]

At some point, a 2 year old like this needs limits and discipline. He doesn't get to make all his choices. Getting him used to the word "no" and teaching him there are some things he is NOT allowed to do would do a world of good for all of you.

 

I have done everything with my 2YO, he has strict rules and definitely knows "no" he chooses over and over again not to listen. I never had problems like this with my other 2. I have tried the time outs, the positive reinforcement, the discipline, spankings, not spanking.....you name it. Hes a difficult kid. He sounds exaclty like the OP's and its extremely hard to deal with.

[Trish]

Playpen or baby gate, soup every day, and MUS.

 

Put these on the closet doors up high where he can't reach.

 

Put up extra tall baby gates to keep your 2-year old contained in one room which has been baby proofed.

 

There are a lot of veggies you didn't list. Make a big pot of veggie beef soup at the beginning of the week. Make some veggie casseroles with a white sauce of whatever kind of alternative milk you can use. Can the family have oatmeal for breakfast? Make simple meals with beef or fish. Your kids cannot afford to be picky. You may have to retrain them to eat what you put in front of them. I don't know. you didn't mention picky eaters though.

 

Your two year old may not want to sleep or wash up or whatever but that has to be too bad. If it takes him kicking or screaming let someone else wash him up. Otherwise he learns that all he has to do is behave a certain way and he gets what he wants.

 

Get a baby sitter one day a week and/or put him in a mother's morning out program.

 

I really like everything you said, and how succinctly you said it!

[Mommy22alyns]

I don't have any help to offer but I wanted to give you :grouphug:.

[Snickerdoodle]

:grouphug:

 

I have soooo been there (including the meal food allergy thing).

 

I decided that we cut out everything everyone is allergic to and I work with the remaining safe ingredients to cook only 1 meal per mealtime.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[jenL]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Outdoorsy Type]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[elegantlion]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

These are not hugs, they are you corralling the children. :tongue_smilie:I have no advice, but too bad you can't sign the two year old up for Latin. :glare:

[Hedgehog]

I welled up reading your post. Sweetie, I am truly sorry that you have all this right now - it is tough. :grouphug: I remember DS5 being like your 2yo - so utterly destructive that I thought I was going to go round the bend. I had a newborn at the time as well.

 

I don't have any great ideas, all I can say is that the best thing I did for myself was to just cut out anything extra, over and above minimum housework and minimum schoolwork. No lessons, classes, homeschool groups, other work, outside commitments. I "turtled" - pulled my horns right in and took one day at a time. Try to keep in mind that it will pass. Your 2yo will not be 2 forever - one day he will be a wonderful, inquisitive, loving little lad.

 

And actually - reading over your posts again - I think you are doing so well! Maybe you can't see the wood from the trees but you are already managing to do so much! Be proud of that! :grouphug:

[Ester Maria]

Can't help much, but a big :grouphug: to you.

[Denisemomof4]

Between all of us there's gluten, soy, rice, potato, corn, chicken, pork, bananas, apples, strawberries, pineapple, nuts, dairy, canned tomatoes, eggs... I'm sure there's more but I'm not thinking straight right now.

 

for starters, you need to post a COMPLETE list of allergies/intolerances so we can help you plan meals you ALL can eat.

 

Then you need to contain your two year old.

 

Those are the first two, but I'm not going to address the two year old until I read further. For me, my dd is attached to my hip 24/7. I hate it. I can't recommend this yet until I see if you've given more information.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

for starters, you need to post a COMPLETE list of allergies/intolerances so we can help you plan meals you ALL can eat.

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

As a special-diet veteran mom, I also volunteer to help plan meals you can all eat together. Just give us the lists :)

[Denisemomof4]

Oh, how I've wished for that. We don't have the room for that though. There's not really anywhere else to put the clothes right now unless I start buying furniture, which doesn't work well with the budget. We could make it work financially but part of me hates the thought when hopefully in a year or so this phase will be over... it does end, right? :tongue_smilie: There's other things I'd rather spend money on, kwim?

 

buy used or try to get some free. There are always people trying to get rid of stuff and you can pick things up for DIRT on Craigslist. There's got to be an answer to address your 2 year old. I still wish I knew the ages of the rest of your kids.