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This is an interesting question and one I was going to do a search on when I logged in. I was not home schooled, in fact my mother has tried to discourage me from this endeavor.

 

While I was checking out books in the library (in new to this having only been homeschooling for two weeks now) about homeschooling, the librarian had told me that she was home-schooled. I had asked her if she was happy about that or if she wished she'd been allowed to go to public school. She told me she was happy about it, then added "for the most part."

 

This, of course, got me wondering, as an adults perspective of having been there and done that, what she felt the downsides to homeschooling were.

 

As parents I'd imagine all of you, like me, have chosen homeschooling because we feel this is the best thing for our children and our family. However, I've never met an adult that has been home-schooled and would really like to pick a few adult brains, on the pros and cons of homeschooling from someone that has been home-schooled.

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Nope. As much as I hate to say it, I don't think I would have liked it. I loved school and had a great experience from elementary through high school. I probably would have received a better education had I been homeschooled, but I was VERY social and loved going to school. My kids love homeschool and freak out at the mention of public school:) My older two have been and don't want to go back. I think homeschooling right now is a lot different than it would have been when I were a child. I never knew anyone that homeschooled. I think it would have been a lot more isolating then. Now it is becoming so popular that we don't have to go further than our next door neighbors to find other hs families:)

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As parents I'd imagine all of you, like me, have chosen homeschooling because we feel this is the best thing for our children and our family. However, I've never met an adult that has been home-schooled and would really like to pick a few adult brains, on the pros and cons of homeschooling from someone that has been home-schooled.

 

Ask whatever you like. :)

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No. I'm more curious to see if my children will one day homeschool. For my oldest dd, who always went to a Lutheran school, I probably think she won't homeschool. Her experiences were very positive and she loved the social aspect. My youngest dd, who was homeschooled for six years, said she would never homeschool. That was before she started attending a small Christian high school. I haven't asked but I think I may receive a different answer now:001_smile:

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Ask whatever you like. :)

 

Well! Since you said I could. :D

 

1. What did you like most about being home-schooled?

 

2. What did you like least about it.

 

3. What do you think about the whole "but they are not being socialized," argument that I constantly hear popping up? Do you feel you missed out on a lot of socialization?

 

4 Do you home-school your children/child now?

 

5. If you do home-school, what curriculum do wish was available back then, that is available now?

 

6. Where you home-schooled singly or with siblings and if with siblings, how do you think they would answer these questions.

 

7. Do you feel like I'm hijacking this thread? (just kidding but I'll be happy to start a new thread if you feel like I'm way off subject here)

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1. What did you like most about being home-schooled?

 

I liked the freedom and flexibility of my day. My mom was pretty good about making us feel like it was cool to be homeschooled, almost the point of being a bit smug. :) On cold and rainy days, she would make chocolate chip cookies. I still have the urge to make cookies during bad weather. When we first started homeschooling, my mother put lots of energy into it. She fixed up a really nice school room, bought desks and implemented a reward system that allowed us to accumulate "stars", trade them in for tickets, and trade the tickets in for various privileges. My favorite part of each year was getting books in the mail. I was the oldest and my mom didn't buy used. So my books were always new. I used to get them out, open them and smell them. I grew up just north of Houston, TX. We knew tons of homeschoolers. On my street alone were two other homeschooling families and our church had tons. (I'm 29, just to give you an idea of the time frame I'm talking about.) We had a basketball league that I participated in for a couple years, and my brother played soccer.

 

2. What did you like least about it.

 

When you're always at home, you are just always at home. My mother is an extrovert and I'm not. There were lots of kids in my family and I needed some alone time especially as I got into those early teen years. My mother took me hanging out alone in my room as some kind of personal rejection of her. Also, she was always having babies. That was probably the worst thing about homeschooling. It brought my parents into contact with some very conservative people who influenced them. They got into the QF movement. This is a huge burden for the oldest daughters of a family. I know QF is separate from homeschooling, but for me, QF so affected my daily life and was very wrapped up in homeschooling. My mother never considered that it was important for me to go to college. I was raised with the assumption that I would get married and just start having piles of babies. She even made comments about how my brothers' education was so important "because they're the ones who will have to support a family some day". I was a laid back child, very "go with the flow" so when the adults in my life had those expectations, I just went along with them. I think this can be a danger of homeschooling. Teens need to be exposed to different viewpoints while you're there to discuss them instead of pretending that they don't exist (which is what my parents did).

 

My mom was rather dysfunctional in other ways as well that I won't dwell on here. :)

 

3. What do you think about the whole "but they are not being socialized," argument that I constantly hear popping up? Do you feel you missed out on a lot of socialization?

 

I think most parents are aware that when they make the decision to homeschool, they need to also take steps to make sure their kids are getting out of the house and being involved in various activities. I mentioned that I grew up in a very active area. But when I was 14 (and I was the oldest, so all my brothers and sisters were younger) we moved way way out to a very rural area, outside a town of 2700ish population. There were almost no homeschoolers and the public schools were awful. The alcohol consumption in the area was huge. As a teen, if you didn't drink, you didn't have friends. So I didn't have friends. I probably should have been more rebellious as a teen. :) The move was very negative for me and for my entire family, actually. No one has ever been happy living in that town.

 

Either way, I didn't mean to go on and on about that... Basically, as far as socialization goes, homeschoolers have SO many opportunities these days that socialization arguments are really quite silly, provided the parents are willing to make the effort to take advantage of those opportunities. Besides, we've seen the results of public school socialization and... well, yikes.

 

4 Do you home-school your children/child now?

 

I do. This is our first year homeschooling.

 

My husband had a miserable time in public school. He was in the horribly inadequate gifted program, and rather nerdy, and was teased and tormented for being smart and socially awkward (nice socialization, huh? we really want our kids being in an environment that looks down on intelligence). :p Anyway, we kind of assumed we would homeschool our kids. Then I got to know Imogen and I was kind of freaked out about it. We heard about classical education, got interested and started investigating. We found a classical Christian private school in our area and Imogen started attending their pre-K program. She went for five years (through third grade) and Genevieve went for three. We homeschool now because of financial reasons.

 

5. If you do home-school, what curriculum do wish was available back then, that is available now?

 

I wish my mother had been more intentional about how she chose curriculum and so on. She didn't have an overarching idea of what she was hoping to accomplish. Then again, she didn't have the internet either. So basically... I wish I had been educated classically. I wish I had been pushed to write more. I have ADD and my mother didn't really try to work with me in trying to figure out how I would learn best. She just figured she could somehow make me concentrate or something. I was in public school through second grade and my teachers wanted me medicated. This was a major reason for my parents deciding to homeschool us. I have no good memories of public school. I also went to public school for one semester in 10th grade (in the small rural town) and it was truly horrible.

 

6. Where you home-schooled singly or with siblings and if with siblings, how do you think they would answer these questions.

 

We have similar feelings about our education. My brother right under me went to public school for... kindergarten and first grade I think? The next brother in a row has never gone to public school, and he's the only one of us that never has. My youngest sister is 14 right now and has been in public school for years. My mom just ran out of energy. By the time I left the house, she wasn't doing anything with them, it was all me. Once I left... it was off to public school.

 

7. Do you feel like I'm hijacking this thread? (just kidding but I'll be happy to start a new thread if you feel like I'm way off subject here)

 

I feel like I'm hijacking it. Sorry for going off on so many tangents. This is my experience and it's unique to me. Everyone else is going to have their own ideas shaped by their own unique experiences. There's enough homeschoolers out there that you should be able to come across some other homeschooled adults and get other perspectives. :)

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I was homeschooled for eleven years, went to public school for three, and am about to graduate with a BA after three and a half years of college. Those eleven years of homeschool were one of the best things that have happened to me. They're the reason I read fast, write fast, and have done so well in public school and college. :) They're also the reason I love learning. I really want to homeschool my kids, at least through elementary if not middle school.

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Ha. Forgot that I posted that. Yeah, I was curious how many people on a homeschooling forum were also homeschooled. Not many. Which makes me wonder if all those homeschoolers are now sending their own kids to school. I'm also curious if people are generally happy or unhappy having been homeschooled. And worried that my own kids will be unhappy with the decisions we're making about their education.

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No, I would have loved it if my mom had bucked the system and started homeschooling me in kinder. That would have been the fall of 1970. I hated school with a flaming high passion. Until I was in high school and discovered young men. By that time it was too late. My younger brother homeschooled a year through an umbrella type school. I was in school for the social opportunities and did not want to homeschool when asked.

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DH was homeschooled, Grades 2-7. He then asked to go to school, so his folks arranged it. I believe he enjoyed both being homeschooled and going to school.

 

I went to PS, and hated it with a passion. I was bullied pretty much from day one with the exception of my last year in elementary school, because my parents finally decided I needed a change and for that last year I went to a small rural school with 40 kids. Big change from my previous school, which had 300.

 

On to high school.. and I was back to being bullied. All I wanted was for my mum to take me away from that school, but she was too scared to face the authorities... this was in the 1980's when HSing was much less common. My parents even looked into putting me into private school, but they couldn't afford it, so I just had to stay put.

 

When I finally left, at 16, and went to college, I was a bit of mess. I coped for a couple years, but I had a nervous breakdown at university and never finished my degree. In retrospect that wasn't all bad since I've now realised that the course I took wasn't right for me anyway, but the whole experience left me questioning the education system and being totally determined that there was no way I'd ever leave my own kids in a place they disliked. When I met DH and discovered that he'd been homeschooled, I started researching all about it and over time we both decided that when we had kids, we wanted to homeschool them.

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1. What did you like most about being home-schooled?

 

I liked the freedom and flexibility of my day. My mom was pretty good about making us feel like it was cool to be homeschooled, almost the point of being a bit smug. :) On cold and rainy days, she would make chocolate chip cookies. I still have the urge to make cookies during bad weather. When we first started homeschooling, my mother put lots of energy into it. She fixed up a really nice school room, bought desks and implemented a reward system that allowed us to accumulate "stars", trade them in for tickets, and trade the tickets in for various privileges. My favorite part of each year was getting books in the mail. I was the oldest and my mom didn't buy used. So my books were always new. I used to get them out, open them and smell them. I grew up just north of Houston, TX. We knew tons of homeschoolers. On my street alone were two other homeschooling families and our church had tons. (I'm 29, just to give you an idea of the time frame I'm talking about.) We had a basketball league that I participated in for a couple years, and my brother played soccer.

 

2. What did you like least about it.

 

When you're always at home, you are just always at home. My mother is an extrovert and I'm not. There were lots of kids in my family and I needed some alone time especially as I got into those early teen years. My mother took me hanging out alone in my room as some kind of personal rejection of her. Also, she was always having babies. That was probably the worst thing about homeschooling. It brought my parents into contact with some very conservative people who influenced them. They got into the QF movement. This is a huge burden for the oldest daughters of a family. I know QF is separate from homeschooling, but for me, QF so affected my daily life and was very wrapped up in homeschooling. My mother never considered that it was important for me to go to college. I was raised with the assumption that I would get married and just start having piles of babies. She even made comments about how my brothers' education was so important "because they're the ones who will have to support a family some day". I was a laid back child, very "go with the flow" so when the adults in my life had those expectations, I just went along with them. I think this can be a danger of homeschooling. Teens need to be exposed to different viewpoints while you're there to discuss them instead of pretending that they don't exist (which is what my parents did).

 

My mom was rather dysfunctional in other ways as well that I won't dwell on here. :)

 

3. What do you think about the whole "but they are not being socialized," argument that I constantly hear popping up? Do you feel you missed out on a lot of socialization?

 

I think most parents are aware that when they make the decision to homeschool, they need to also take steps to make sure their kids are getting out of the house and being involved in various activities. I mentioned that I grew up in a very active area. But when I was 14 (and I was the oldest, so all my brothers and sisters were younger) we moved way way out to a very rural area, outside a town of 2700ish population. There were almost no homeschoolers and the public schools were awful. The alcohol consumption in the area was huge. As a teen, if you didn't drink, you didn't have friends. So I didn't have friends. I probably should have been more rebellious as a teen. :) The move was very negative for me and for my entire family, actually. No one has ever been happy living in that town.

 

Either way, I didn't mean to go on and on about that... Basically, as far as socialization goes, homeschoolers have SO many opportunities these days that socialization arguments are really quite silly, provided the parents are willing to make the effort to take advantage of those opportunities. Besides, we've seen the results of public school socialization and... well, yikes.

 

4 Do you home-school your children/child now?

 

I do. This is our first year homeschooling.

 

My husband had a miserable time in public school. He was in the horribly inadequate gifted program, and rather nerdy, and was teased and tormented for being smart and socially awkward (nice socialization, huh? we really want our kids being in an environment that looks down on intelligence). :p Anyway, we kind of assumed we would homeschool our kids. Then I got to know Imogen and I was kind of freaked out about it. We heard about classical education, got interested and started investigating. We found a classical Christian private school in our area and Imogen started attending their pre-K program. She went for five years (through third grade) and Genevieve went for three. We homeschool now because of financial reasons.

 

5. If you do home-school, what curriculum do wish was available back then, that is available now?

 

I wish my mother had been more intentional about how she chose curriculum and so on. She didn't have an overarching idea of what she was hoping to accomplish. Then again, she didn't have the internet either. So basically... I wish I had been educated classically. I wish I had been pushed to write more. I have ADD and my mother didn't really try to work with me in trying to figure out how I would learn best. She just figured she could somehow make me concentrate or something. I was in public school through second grade and my teachers wanted me medicated. This was a major reason for my parents deciding to homeschool us. I have no good memories of public school. I also went to public school for one semester in 10th grade (in the small rural town) and it was truly horrible.

 

6. Where you home-schooled singly or with siblings and if with siblings, how do you think they would answer these questions.

 

We have similar feelings about our education. My brother right under me went to public school for... kindergarten and first grade I think? The next brother in a row has never gone to public school, and he's the only one of us that never has. My youngest sister is 14 right now and has been in public school for years. My mom just ran out of energy. By the time I left the house, she wasn't doing anything with them, it was all me. Once I left... it was off to public school.

 

7. Do you feel like I'm hijacking this thread? (just kidding but I'll be happy to start a new thread if you feel like I'm way off subject here)

 

I feel like I'm hijacking it. Sorry for going off on so many tangents. This is my experience and it's unique to me. Everyone else is going to have their own ideas shaped by their own unique experiences. There's enough homeschoolers out there that you should be able to come across some other homeschooled adults and get other perspectives. :)

 

Hey Mimm,

 

Thanks for replying to my questions. Lots of great information. You pretty much summed it up exactly in your post right after this. I'm curious how many adults who where homeschooled, now homeschool there kids and why. I don't want to make a decision for my children that they will regret, or wish i'd done otherwise later. Sigh, I guess there's really no answering that till the time comes.

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I wasn't homeschooled but I was significantly self-schooled. I have always been a big reader so most of the real knowledge I have I achieved on my own. The only thing I didn't get from that was the ability to write. That's why it's been such a freak-me-out thing for me. :)

 

My mother has always loved the fact we homeschool so much that I asked her once (assuming I knew the answer) if she would have homeschooled us if she had known more about it. She said, "no way". I was shocked. She explained that she knew her "gift" wasn't in teaching and she feels she would have been totally uncomfortable and inadequate. I disagree but I don't believe homeschooling has to be for everyone. I was just surprised by her answer since she loves it so much. :)

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Yes and-

Well! Since you said I could. :D

 

1. What did you like most about being home-schooled? The freedom I had to do what worked best for me; especially in the upper grades. Freedom to be me, without worrying about bullies. Having a great relationship with my mom is probably the biggest pro.

 

2. What did you like least about it. My mom didn't feel comfortable enough to step outside the bounds of the curr. choices back then. Things could get dull at times.

 

3. What do you think about the whole "but they are not being socialized," argument that I constantly hear popping up? Do you feel you missed out on a lot of socialization?What a JOKE! I was an only child, and still had more than enough interaction with others. It is true for some families, but only those that want it to be that way.

 

4 Do you home-school your children/child now? YES!

 

5. If you do home-school, what curriculum do wish was available back then, that is available now? Pretty much all the literature based ones.

 

6. Where you home-schooled singly or with siblings and if with siblings, how do you think they would answer these questions.I am an only child.

 

7. Do you feel like I'm hijacking this thread? (just kidding but I'll be happy to start a new thread if you feel like I'm way off subject here)

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I was homeschooled until age 7 and then I went to a Private Classical Christian school for the rest of elementary school. In retrospect, I wish my mom would have homeschooled me longer because I spent the entire first year of private school in the back reading novels because I was so far ahead and I was really bored, but I did like the social parts of school (I got to be in a play!) and my mom was really burnt out on homeschooling at the time (although she was still homeschooling my little brother).

 

I transferred over to public school for middle and high school. I wish now I had been homeschooled for middle school as those were some of the worst years of my life, but because of youth I didn't really think at the time to ask for it. I was considerably ahead in academics coming out of the classical school so that was a bonus.

 

My public high school was and still is one of the best in the country and I had an exceptional experience there. I would definitely have missed out both socially and academically had I been homeschooled for high school, but I really doubt I would have missed anything in middle school.

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1. What did you like most about being home-schooled? Not having to deal with peer pressure at school, having lots of free time to pursue my interests, forming close relationships with my family (some of these are looking back now, not necessarily what I was thinking as a kid. :) )

 

2. What did you like least about it. Math...:) I think there were times as a child, especially the early teenage years, when I thought I would be happier in school, but I'm glad my parents didn't send me.

 

3. What do you think about the whole "but they are not being socialized," argument that I constantly hear popping up? Do you feel you missed out on a lot of socialization? I went to church, Awana, youth group, spent time in a "training center" (we were involved in Bill Gothard's programs - not something I would do now, but I believe God did use that time to teach me many things). I am by nature an introvert and quite shy and the teenage years were quite stressful sometimes, even without high school. I'm also a follower more than a leader, and I think I would have had a hard time holding my own against peer pressure if I'd been sent to school.

 

4 Do you home-school your children/child now? Yes. :)

 

5. If you do home-school, what curriculum do wish was available back then, that is available now? Better math programs - we use Math-U-See now, and I know something like that would have made a difference for me. I would have benefitted from a systematic approach to history, too. The unit study approach we used when I was in high school was too scattered, and I feel I have lots of gaps in that area. But it's fun learning with my kids now. I think the greatest gift homeschooling gave me was a love for learning - you can fill in any "gaps" if you have the desire to keep learning.

 

6. Where you home-schooled singly or with siblings and if with siblings, how do you think they would answer these questions. I have three younger sisters who have no families of their own yet, but I'm quite sure they all plan to homeschool if God grants them husbands and children. They are all doing very well in their various jobs/fields of study, and have that love for learning still intact. I know there were areas for each of us that we would have done differently now, but we know God has a purpose for what he allows, and can work through our educational "mistakes". :)

 

QUOTE]

Edited by ariasmommy
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No, I went to public school, and from the young age of reason learned all of my raunchy sexual talk, how to smoke, tried some pot as a teenager, dated ALL the wrong boys and learned not much from school because it was all about socialization. People didn't care about what was going on there, as long as the football team kept a perfect record. I did learn somehow though, through my own likes, because I was able to hold down a 4.0 in college when I finally cared enough to.

 

I will NEVER send my children to public OR private school as long as it's in my power.

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No, but I wish I had been.

 

I was the sweet little girl who was an easy target for meaner kids because I didn't have the ruthless skills of fighting back and being mean back. Even in first grade, kids exercise their social power. In spite of superior teachers (in an academic manner), the teasing/bullying continued through high school.

 

The teachers were also clueless of the social bullying. I hated the holiday parties, because I would NEVER be picked for a turn at games. Eventually I would play sick for holiday parties. Secure as I am as an adult, I would have just refused the games (that I was not playing anyway) and gone back to my desk to read a book. I would have dared the teacher to force me to conform to an activity where the other kids were being rejectful of me. As a child, I fought back tears and embarrassment at the subtle rejection of being the only kid in the class to not get a chance to play.

 

I also had a whole year of systematic and daily sexual harassment from the guy who sat next to me in 7th grade math. This was before Anita Hill, and I thought that I deserved to be treated this way. (FTR, I didn't own a single miniskirt, and I buttoned the polo and oxford shirts my mother bought me all the way up to the top; I didn't even listen to rock music).

 

As a 3 Blessings said:

 

I will NEVER send my children to public OR private school as long as it's in my power.
I did have cousins (10 years younger) that were homeschooled for nearly their entire education. (1 year in Christian school). I am grateful to my aunt for doing this, because my parents don't say 'boo' about my plans to hs my kids.
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My mom taught me until I started kindergarten. She and my dad really wanted to homeschool me and my brother, especially when I hit 6th grade and things spiraled downhill for me (teased relentlessly) but couldn't afford the curriculum, we lived in a very small community and they had no one to turn to that may have helped them be able to homeschool w/o puchased curriculum. My mom has said that looking back, if she'd known she didn't have to buy stuff, she would have done it. It's one of her biggest regrets that she didn't homeschool us. I really wish they could have, especially high school, worst 4 years of my life.

 

Dh did public/private/homeschool throughout elementary school, then completely switched to homeschool halfway through freshman year of high school at his request. He says it's the best decision he ever made and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Edited by Cortana
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I was homeschooled until age 7 and then I went to a Private Classical Christian school for the rest of elementary school. In retrospect, I wish my mom would have homeschooled me longer because I spent the entire first year of private school in the back reading novels because I was so far ahead and I was really bored, but I did like the social parts of school (I got to be in a play!) and my mom was really burnt out on homeschooling at the time (although she was still homeschooling my little brother).

I had a similar experience when I was sent to school.

Completely bored out of my mind until second grade.

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