pray please, my 3 day old niece was rushed to the hospital

[ktgrok]

my little sister had her baby by "emergency" c-section Sunday after a train wreck of a failed induction that ended in my sister's blood pressure tanking and her passing out, drug induced contractions that were on top of each other, and a baby in distress. They were discharged this afternoon, and after a few hours at home rushed back by ambulance. The baby was nursing and became limp and unresponsive. She was breathing fine and her color was good, but very out of it. At the hospital they said her glucose was a little low and they gave her some dextrose. It happened again not long after that. My sister is convinced she isn't making enough milk (on day 3) and that is why this is happening. That is possible I'm sure, annd she feels the baby was dehydrated earlier today and asked the breastfeeding consultant to check everything this morning. She was told the baby was latching well and that her milk was coming in. But she says the baby's mouth was dry even after feeding. The odd thing is that when I saw her yesterday the baby had milk drooling out of her mouth after feeding, and she had already passed 4 bowel movements in just 48 hours, and was having the transitional green poop. So that says to me that she is getting milk, i don't know what would have changed since then?

 

Anyway they are going to have my sister pump to "see how much milk she is making." I tried to explain to my sister that she might not be able to pump anything and yet still be getting milk in the baby OR she might pump a bunch but the baby not be transfering it properly so not getting any. That they need to weight the baby before and after feeding to know if the baby is getting any. She blew me off. I told her I had tons of milk in the freezer and I've been tested and cleared as a donor if she wants or needs some and she said "that's not a concern right now, I don't care about that." She is supposedly going to see a lactation specialist, but I'm sure it won't be until tomorrow.

 

she did say the baby seems much more content now that she is on the IV fluids, and has a wet mouth again. So that is good. Of course she may just be exhuasted after the blood work and spinal tap. And now she will be having an EEG to rule out seizures and a CAT scan because she has a giant hematoma on her head (how does that happen in a c-section? She never dilated past 1 cm, so I wouldn't think it was from labor)

 

I'm exhausted, she's exhausted and hurting from her surgery, my BIL passed out from the stress, my mom is trying to be supportive and everywhere at once despite a broken foot that she is hiding from my sister....sigh.

 

please pray if you are the praying type...this is just a horrible situation.

 

Edited to add that my sister's name is Kelly and the baby is Kaley. (pronounced Kaylee)

Edited October 20, 2010 by ktgrok

[Heather in WI]

Oh my goodness. Praying here.

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug:

[Mabeline]

:grouphug: I will be praying for your family.:grouphug:

[BlessedMom]

:grouphug::grouphug: Praying for your sister and her precious little one! :grouphug::grouphug:

[MariannNOVA]

:grouphug: Praying.

[tricia]

It's not an odd thing for her milk to not be in fully at this point considering their rough start with the birth and everything. If the baby did not come on it's own and was induced this is very normal. About the milk anyway. Induction gets in the natural way of things. I'm not an expert but I have had 12 kids, nursed them all, and studied midwifery to a small degree.

 

At any rate, it does sound a bit like the baby is dehydrated. Too bad she rejected your offer. That was very kind of you. I will be sure to pray for the little one and her mom.

[LaissezFaire]

I I'm not an expert but I have had 12 kids, nursed them all, and studied midwifery to a small degree.

 

 

 

This qualifies you as an expert in my book. ;)

 

I agree with everything Tricia said. Even a mom who has an elective c-section when she is past due can sometimes wait 4 days or more before her milk is in. The colostrum should be there to sustain her baby. It sounds like something else is going on here and I would be monitoring the baby's sugar levels.

[ktgrok]

It's not an odd thing for her milk to not be in fully at this point considering their rough start with the birth and everything. If the baby did not come on it's own and was induced this is very normal. About the milk anyway. Induction gets in the natural way of things. I'm not an expert but I have had 12 kids, nursed them all, and studied midwifery.

 

At any rate, it does sound a bit like the baby is dehydrated. Too bad she rejected your offer. That was very kind of you. I will be sure to pray for the little one and her mom.

 

I agree that given the circumstances it wouldn't be unusual for her milk not to be in yet, as mine took a long 4 days after my c-section, and only 24 hours after my vbac. I just am confused as to how she could be having plenty of wet an poopy diapers yesterday, and not getting enough milk today, you know? But hopefully that is all it is....that would be better than seizures or whatever.

[ktgrok]

UOTE=LaissezFaire;2118274]This qualifies you as an expert in my book. ;)

 

I agree with everything Tricia said. Even a mom who has an elective c-section when she is past due can sometimes wait 4 days or more before her milk is in. The colostrum should be there to sustain her baby. It sounds like something else is going on here and I would be monitoring the baby's sugar levels.

 

That's what I was thinking. I mean, I know she has colostrum, she was able to hand express some and the baby had milk drooling out of her mouth yesterday. So strange, and I'm so worried.

[ktgrok]

Also...how does a baby get that dehydrated while still in the hospital, if that is the problem? She was only home for 2 hours when this happened. Wouldn't/shouldn't the nurses my family was raving about have seen that? Don't they check the baby? I know they had her counting and logging wet and poopy diapers.

 

So scary. I honestly don't think my sister will ever have another child after all this.

[Sparkle]

Praying.

[Catwoman]

:grouphug: Praying for the baby, Katie, and hoping you'll have good news for us soon. Your family must be so scared!

 

Cat

[justasque]

:grouphug:

It sounds like the nursing part is important to you, and you're concerned about their nursing relationship. Remember that even if the nursing doesn't go well at first, and supplements are needed etc., that it still may be possible to get it going well in a week or two. Hopefully the hospital folks are thinking along those lines - stabilize the baby, etc., but also help mom keep a milk supply.

 

When I read your post, the first thing that came to mind was infant botulism. I hesitate to even mention it, because I am not a medical person and I'm sure the docs have everything under control, etc., and again I really don't know much of anything about such things (except that a friend of mine's baby had it). But part of me feels I need to mention it, so I am.

[Starr]

Praying here too!

[ktgrok]

Her symptoms come and go, or did, so I don't think that fits with botulism, thankfully.

 

I talked to my sister and she said the baby seems very happy now. My poor sister is so swollen and exhausted though. They will be keeping the baby for 72 hours.

 

:grouphug:

It sounds like the nursing part is important to you, and you're concerned about their nursing relationship. Remember that even if the nursing doesn't go well at first, and supplements are needed etc., that it still may be possible to get it going well in a week or two. Hopefully the hospital folks are thinking along those lines - stabilize the baby, etc., but also help mom keep a milk supply.

 

When I read your post, the first thing that came to mind was infant botulism. I hesitate to even mention it, because I am not a medical person and I'm sure the docs have everything under control, etc., and again I really don't know much of anything about such things (except that a friend of mine's baby had it). But part of me feels I need to mention it, so I am.

[LindaOz]

You mentioned that your sister's blood pressure was high. Is she on blood pressure meds now? I have often been on blood pressure meds when I've had a baby and I think they have had an effect on how quickly my milk has come in.

 

Just a thought.

[ktgrok]

You mentioned that your sister's blood pressure was high. Is she on blood pressure meds now? I have often been on blood pressure meds when I've had a baby and I think they have had an effect on how quickly my milk has come in.

 

Just a thought.

 

Her pressure was low, not high. Our family all have pretty low pressure, and when they gave her the epidural it just bottomed out. She has a history of this happening for various reasons...she actually coded once during foot surgery.

 

so the only meds she is on now are ibuprofen and percocet.

[Heatherwith4]

Praying!

[momofkhm]

Wow! I will be praying here as well!

[mommaduck]

It's not an odd thing for her milk to not be in fully at this point considering their rough start with the birth and everything. If the baby did not come on it's own and was induced this is very normal. About the milk anyway. Induction gets in the natural way of things. I'm not an expert but I have had 12 kids, nursed them all, and studied midwifery to a small degree.

 

At any rate, it does sound a bit like the baby is dehydrated. Too bad she rejected your offer. That was very kind of you. I will be sure to pray for the little one and her mom.

Ditto, but I only have seven kids and one on the way ;)

 

:grouphug: All those complications can make for an exhausting and rough start.

[Mommyfaithe]

:grouphug::grouphug:

keep us updated.

[unsinkable]

Praying!

 

Your poor sister! I know you're being gentle with her and that probably means more than anything right now!

[TKDmom]

That's rough. :grouphug:

 

My 3rd child was rushed to the hospital at 3 days old. I was a mess emotionally. That first week is already so hard with all those postpartum hormones running through your body. The nurses at the ER made everything worse for me. I finally went home and let my dh deal with them. When ds was transferred to a children's hospital, I drove up, went to his room, sat in a rocking chair and just cried. The nurse very kindly said said, "Oh look, mom's having a hormone storm!" I don't know why, but it made me feel so much better. It was nice to know that they understood and that it was okay to cry.

 

I'm sharing this because I think what new moms need more than anything is love and support. Advice may or may not help right now.

 

:grouphug:

Edited October 20, 2010 by bonniebeth4

[Tammyla]

:grouphug::grouphug:

Keep us update.

[ktgrok]

I just talked to my father, he is at the hospital with them. They have my sister pumping and are feeding the baby the pumped milk and some formula. The baby's blood sugar is higher now but still below the normal range. Why would that be??? I didn't even ask how they are feeding the baby.....I wanted to suggest an SNS or syringe feeding, but I know that my opinion in the matter is not valued at this time, and that my sister would not be heart broken if this ends the nursing relationship.

 

I'm SOOOOOO frustrated by the whole thing...by the induction she didn't need, by the overuse of drugs to the point of tetanic contractions, the passing out despite her telling the nurses she felt her blood pressure was low, the baby apparantly not getting enough to eat and no one noticing despite my sister asking directly, the idea that they thought you could tell how much milk she is making by how much she can pump, the even dumber idea that you can tell how much milk the baby is getting based on how much she can pump, the fact that she refuses my milk in favor of formula (would she want pigs blood instead of my blood if the baby needed a transfusion?), the whole crappy thing.

 

And on a selfish note I know that this whole situation will be brought up the next time I choose to have a baby. My family already gave me hell over my last homebirth, I'm sure this will make it even worse....despite most of the problems that happened being caused by the very medical staff they think can save everyone.

 

I just want to go snuggle my niece, but I figure another body there is going to be more hinderance than help. And I'd have to bring my son and my baby, and that is just a bad idea.

 

I should be doing school now with my son but I'm just so emotionally drained I don't know how. We watched a documentary on the history of halloween this morning...not sure how much else will get done.

[mommaduck]

And most likely they have neither heard of an SNS nor have one. I suggested this to a friend that went through something similar. The mama had called me in for a lactation consult. The nurse, your could tell, was just barely tolerating my presence. She did not know anything about SNS, did not have an SNS available, and once mama was done nursing, proceeded to shove the formula into the feeding tube with a "I win" grin. This was a well known hospital in St Louis. I was very tempted to call the administration.

[Parrothead]

I just talked to my father, he is at the hospital with them. They have my sister pumping and are feeding the baby the pumped milk and some formula. The baby's blood sugar is higher now but still below the normal range. Why would that be??? I didn't even ask how they are feeding the baby.....I wanted to suggest an SNS or syringe feeding, but I know that my opinion in the matter is not valued at this time, and that my sister would not be heart broken if this ends the nursing relationship.

Saying this as gently as possible. Nursing is not the be all and end all of motherhood. For some people it just does not work out.

 

It sounds like you are projecting your feelings about nursing on to your sister. Again, gently, this is not going to do your sister, you or your relationship with her any good.

 

Please support her in the way she needs instead of how you would need support in this situation.

 

I'm SOOOOOO frustrated by the whole thing...by the induction she didn't need, by the overuse of drugs to the point of tetanic contractions, the passing out despite her telling the nurses she felt her blood pressure was low, the baby apparantly not getting enough to eat and no one noticing despite my sister asking directly, the idea that they thought you could tell how much milk she is making by how much she can pump, the even dumber idea that you can tell how much milk the baby is getting based on how much she can pump, the fact that she refuses my milk in favor of formula (would she want pigs blood instead of my blood if the baby needed a transfusion?), the whole crappy thing.

:grouphug: I hope you can find a way to support your sister in her decisions. She had to have the assistance of a medical professional to have the induction in the first place. Again, what is right for you may not be right for her. It may be best to put your feelings aside. You'll do nothing but make yourself crazy and possibly damage your relationship with your sister.

 

She is probably feeling very inadequate at the moment. She can not feed her child. Your offering your over abundance may feel like a kick in the teeth to her.

 

 

And on a selfish note I know that this whole situation will be brought up the next time I choose to have a baby. My family already gave me hell over my last homebirth, I'm sure this will make it even worse....despite most of the problems that happened being caused by the very medical staff they think can save everyone.

Practice the passing of the bean dip.

 

I just want to go snuggle my niece, but I figure another body there is going to be more hinderance than help. And I'd have to bring my son and my baby, and that is just a bad idea.

This is probably not a good idea. Let your sister do what she needs to do for herself and her child. There will be plenty of time for you to hold the new baby when they get her home.

 

I should be doing school now with my son but I'm just so emotionally drained I don't know how. We watched a documentary on the history of halloween this morning...not sure how much else will get done.

It sounds like you are investing a lot more emotion than healthy. Try taking a few steps back and simply support your sister instead of judging her. Understand that her way isn't going to be your way, and you will have to accept that. Otherwise your relationship will suffer for it.

[fairfarmhand]

It's not an odd thing for her milk to not be in fully at this point considering their rough start with the birth and everything. If the baby did not come on it's own and was induced this is very normal. About the milk anyway. Induction gets in the natural way of things. I'm not an expert but I have had 12 kids, nursed them all, and studied midwifery to a small degree.

 

At any rate, it does sound a bit like the baby is dehydrated. Too bad she rejected your offer. That was very kind of you. I will be sure to pray for the little one and her mom.

 

 

my milk with any of my babies never came in till 3-4 days after. I know I was out of the hospital. (these were some inductions, one natural birth)

[Teachin'Mine]

:grouphug: Praying for all.

[fairfarmhand]

:grouphug:

It sounds like the nursing part is important to you, and you're concerned about their nursing relationship. Remember that even if the nursing doesn't go well at first, and supplements are needed etc., that it still may be possible to get it going well in a week or two. Hopefully the hospital folks are thinking along those lines - stabilize the baby, etc., but also help mom keep a milk supply.

 

When I read your post, the first thing that came to mind was infant botulism. I hesitate to even mention it, because I am not a medical person and I'm sure the docs have everything under control, etc., and again I really don't know much of anything about such things (except that a friend of mine's baby had it). But part of me feels I need to mention it, so I am.

 

 

:iagree:

 

My son did not learn to latch/nurse till he was 6 weeks old. He was a full term baby, and I still don't know what the problem was, but finally he got the hang of it and nursed till age 1.

[ktgrok]

another update. Baby is doing very well. The doctor said they can go home tomorrow when they have all the test results, but he is sure that it was just dehydration/low blood sugar. I still don't understand how that happens...but I guess it does. she is pumping and supplementing with formula. No plan that I know of to try baby on the breast anytime soon, and no SNS. Just bottles. At least they will be going home and the baby is all right, thank

God!!

 

And I know my emotions are over the top....my sister's c-section triggered my ptsd from my own emergency c-section. I'm still coming down and processing from that, and then this hit and I was raw. I have made sure to vent here NOT around her at all. Even the offer of milk was made very casually. I just said "I know this might sound weird, but I have milk that I donate in the freezer, and it's yours if you want or need it." I hadn't thought about it being hurtful to rub in that i have plenty and she doesn't...I suppose that is true. It just kills me to donate that milk to others when my own niece needs it. But that's her decision. I just wish we had the kind of relationship where I could say "hey...if you want i can find out about getting you an SNS to help keep the baby at the breast and help your milk to come in quicker." but we don't. If i offered it would mean she'd never use one. That is how our relationship has been since we were kids.

 

Also, as a member of ICAN and a local mom's group I see the fallout years down the road from these kinds of trauma, and I want to spare my sister from that if possible. In the moment you can't see how these things will effect you later. But I also can't ruin my relationship with her by pushing it, so I have kept my opinions to myself, and just told her I'm here if she needs me.

[Plink]

I told her I had tons of milk in the freezer and I've been tested and cleared as a donor

 

I am so sorry that you are all going through such a hard time. I will keep you in my prayers.:grouphug:

 

I had trouble nursing two of my little ones. The first was able to make it to 4 months nursing (every 2 hours round-the-clock) with the help of an SNS and then went directly to cow's milk. Baby #2 had no problems at all, but then the third was another story. She lost so much weight (even after trying her on super-enriched formula) that the doctors were threatening to take her "to remove the mom-factor." I was beside myself - not only was I a horrible failure for not being able to produce enough milk, but I was such a bad failure that I might loose my child. I believed that somehow this was all in my control, if I could just try hard enough (drink enough water, feed baby often enough, eat healthier, pump more ~ you name it, I did it). It wasn't - and I couldn't. My sister came to my rescue and delivered her milk to my doorstep every.single.day for well over six months. Baby perked up immediately. I could still cry just thinking about what a sacrifice it was for her to take the time to pump while juggling her own 5 kids.

 

Thank you for being willing to give such a life-sustaining gift to another mom.:grouphug:

[iona]

glad to hear things are going well, and calming down. hope mom, dad and baby get to go home soon and you get to hold your precious niece asap.

[Parrothead]

 

Also, as a member of ICAN and a local mom's group I see the fallout years down the road from these kinds of trauma, and I want to spare my sister from that if possible. In the moment you can't see how these things will effect you later. But I also can't ruin my relationship with her by pushing it, so I have kept my opinions to myself, and just told her I'm here if she needs me.

I'm glad your niece is better and going home.

 

I am sorry you and your sister don't have "that" kind of relationship. It makes thing hard. You'll have to be satisfied that you offered. You've done the best you can. I'm sure you'll be able to help another mother with your offer of breast milk.

 

If you get a moment, explain what ICAN is and what kind of trauma you are referring to.

Edited October 20, 2010 by Parrothead

[ktgrok]

I'm glad your niece is better and going home.

 

I am sorry you and your sister don't have "that" kind of relationship. It makes thing hard. You'll have to be satisfied that you offered. You've done the best you can. I'm sure you'll be able to help another mother with your offer of

breast milk.

Thanks, the milk will definitely go to good use. I have a two friends that have used my milk and I am a donor to http://www.getpumpedonline.org, which is a local organization. And you are right, i offered, and that is all I can do. It's just hard not to keep offering information. I'd like to mention to her the idea of a SNS rather than bottles, as it would help bring in her milk better and keep the baby from getting nipple confusion. But i know it would be looked at as interfering. But I'll also feel bad if the baby doesn't return to the breast, as i will know I had info that could have helped but I didn't share it.

 

 

If you get a moment, explain what ICAN is and what kind of trauma you are referring to.

Sure. ICAN is the Internation Cesarean Awareness Netwok. It is an organization dedicated to helping women heal from cesarean births. I have met several women that have severe PTSD from their birth experiences (not just because of the surgery...some of the women also had very healing surgical births later), I've seen marriages that were hurt by bad births, I've seen women struggle with future childbirth options due to their scar...basically I've watched enough women cry about their births to know that it can veyr much effect women down the road. As for breastfeeding, I have two very good friends that struggled horribly. One had reynauds syndrome that was not diagnosed and was in horrible pain. By the time she was diagnosed the baby wouldn't take the breast anymore. Had she been given the right information she could have possibly saved that relationship. She knows that now and it very saddened and angry about it. She struggled to exclusively pump for 6 months and eventually had to stop due to many factors. Another friend had a baby with a weak suck. He was not able to feed other than by bottle, and by the time his suck improved he refused the breast. She has continued to pump, and I have given her a lot of my own milk as her baby does NOT tolerate formula well. Had she started with an SNS or cup feeding she might be able to nurse rather than pump. Both of these women would give almost anything to have a breastfeeding relationship. The first woman has cried on my shoulder about it. At the moment these women were doing the best they knew how to do, but now have more information and wish desperately that they could go back and make different choices. I don't want my sister to be one of those women.

 

Plus, I just really favor informed consent and giving women all the options. If they educate her about SNS, finger feeding, cup feeding, etc and she still chooses the bottle knowing the possible consequences then fine. But I hate to see her not know about all this and be risking something she has says she wants. And doctors don't often view breastfeeding as all that important. Their job at the hospital is to solve the immediate problem. They aren't there 6 months or a year later when the woman finally breaks down crying.

[ktgrok]

My sister came to my rescue and delivered her milk to my doorstep every.single.day for well over six months. Baby perked up immediately. I could still cry just thinking about what a sacrifice it was for her to take the time to pump while juggling her own 5 kids.

 

Thank you for being willing to give such a life-sustaining gift to another mom.:grouphug:

 

awwww..that's so wonderful that your sister could do that for you. I'm really lucky to have a wonderful organization here that coordinates donors and recipients. So someone will get the milk. I just wish our society had less of a stigma over human breastmilk. Its the ick factor that is keeping her from accepting it.

 

This is where my milk goes : https://www.getpumpedonline.org/

[*Inna*]

:grouphug:

[Parrothead]

Thank you, Katie.

 

I suppose I'm in the camp that thinks BFing is very important, but if something hinders it there are other options available.

 

Dd weaned herself at 11 months old. I'm pretty sure she found she could carry around a cup but she couldn't carry me around. So for her the cup was more convenient. I was not devastated. I was a bit miffed that she didn't wait out the year. I looked at is as I had to buy formula for a month. If someone had suggested I pump for the last month I'd know I'd've looked at them like they'd lost their mind.

 

Personally I think there is a lot of pressure on new moms. There is the pressure to breastfeed from one camp, to bottle feed from another. The pressure to make the decision to go back to work or to stay home. And on and on it goes. Then the hormones kick in. Is it any wonder?

 

I'm all for informed choice. I see BFing as best But sometimes better is good enough.

[ktgrok]

Oh, I'm certainly grateful that formula is an option, and that we have safe water to mix it with, etc. I just think that at 3 days old breastmilk is VERY important. That's a lot different than weaning at 11 months. I know that sometimes it isn't an option, which is why I donate. I just wish human milk was more available to everyone that needs it.

 

katie

 

Thank you, Katie.

 

I suppose I'm in the camp that thinks BFing is very important, but if something hinders it there are other options available.

 

Dd weaned herself at 11 months old. I'm pretty sure she found she could carry around a cup but she couldn't carry me around. So for her the cup was more convenient. I was not devastated. I was a bit miffed that she didn't wait out the year. I looked at is as I had to buy formula for a month. If someone had suggested I pump for the last month I'd know I'd've looked at them like they'd lost their mind.

 

Personally I think there is a lot of pressure on new moms. There is the pressure to breastfeed from one camp, to bottle feed from another. The pressure to make the decision to go back to work or to stay home. And on and on it goes. Then the hormones kick in. Is it any wonder?

 

I'm all for informed choice. I see BFing as best But sometimes better is good enough.

[misidawnrn]

I didn't read all the replies but baby should be having one wet diaper for every day old she is 3 days=3 wet diapers until after 5 days then she should be having 6-10 wet diapers in 24 hours. It can take 4-5 days after a traumatic delivery for the milk to come in fully but everyday it should be increasing. I also think what you said about the pumping to see how much milk there is. Some people just can't let down to a pump and a baby sucks completely differently than a pump so that isn't always a good indicator. A better indicator is to have baby weighed before and after a good feeding to see how much milk actually tranferred. 1 oz milk= 1 oz weight change. I hope nothing else is seriously wrong with baby. I hope your sister heals quickly.

Edited October 21, 2010 by misidawnrn
spelling

[Mesa]

My milk took 5 days to come in with my first baby.. I was then ENGORGED for several months (yep...months!) I had to pump a bunch of the excess or I'd get mastitis. (had it 6 times) Hopefully she will wake up in a few days with tons of milk, and all will be well.

Hugs

[lovinmyboys]

Prayers for your sister and family. My nephew was also delivered by c section (but his was a true emergency). He also had to go back to the hospital and was released after 48 hours-it took that long to get the tests back. The nurses would say as soon as all the tests come back negative he can go. He also was given pumped breast milk with formula at the hospital. It took a little bit, but he did nurse like a champ for a little over a year. She did have to work at it for the first few weeks, but once he got it he was good. My sil was not awake during the surgery, so when her second was born (by c section) she had them put a mirror up so she could really be involved. She still talks about how accomodating the staff was, since she completely missed the first one.

[Catwoman]

I hope the baby is home from the hospital and doing well today, Katie!

 

Cat