We signed "hospice" papers on my FIL tonight. (and my house is in foreclosure).......

[Joanne]

My FIL's body is simply giving out. :angelsad2: He was alert, but not talkative the 4th of July when we pulled him out of the nursing home for what was likely his last family reunion. He made eye contact and cried, and "knew" people.

 

His health has plummeted. He's been disabled since the 1970's - medically retired at 45 (my age!). They never did determine if it was chemical (refinery in Texas) or neurological (smashed by a tank in Germany in Korean War). They just didn't have it to diligently get a diagnosis. He was ultimately given "MS" but it doesn't fit.

 

He's been admitted to the hospital several times in the past year. This last time, his blood pressure was 65/34 and his oxygen saturation very low. IV fluids and a Oxygen machine brought those up but he's not eating, or interacting or even turning to us when we talk to him. The LCSW had the Dr. call his and the Dr. suggested Hospice come into his nursing home.

 

My DH is upset. He promised his parents years ago that he'd never put his Dad in a nursing home. It was an unfair promise they expected of him but that doesn't stop him from feeling like a failure of a son.

 

Oh, the house I have struggled diligently to keep? Last October, I applied for a modification. It was supposed to take no more than 90 days. In May, the modification was granted, and approved. I signed the paperwork and sent it back in the envelope they provided. They "mis-executed" the paperwork. It has been a cluster-bunch of chaos for a year. You might not understand unless you've been involved in one. You seemingly call the bank but it's really a Government program; a beaurocracy you are dealing with. I called EVERY week and got a different response. :confused: I kid you not.

 

When I got the foreclosure notice, I called again and they asked for updated financials (again, this is about the 6th time I've sent them). We'll see.

 

My state is one of the states that has a hold on foreclosures and my bank is one of the banks that has been told (due to paperwork isssues) to stop foreclosures during an investigation. My bank never tells me that when I call, though. :lol: I just want to start the payments on the modification I was granted. You'd think they'd want to take my money!

[Parrothead]

You'd think they'd want to take my money!

No that is the last thing that want to take. Seems like once they take your money they also have to give you more time to recoup your losses and be able to get out of the mess. Because, you know you are the commoner. They are The Mighty Institution known as the Bank. Once they can get you to quit poking you fingers in their piehouses they will be able to run it much better than you ever possibly could doc.

 

 

II a m sorry about your father-in0law. I hope he understands it is the best all around. And I hope you find an hour most every day to go visit. Take the kids. It will be an ongoing field trip to benefit the children's social skills and it will benefit the patients outlook.

Edited October 9, 2010 by Parrothead

[PollyOR]

:grouphug:

[Sophia]

:grouphug:

[Miss Sherry]

Oh my. Things can be so tough at times. :grouphug:

[tex-mex]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[JWSJ]

I personally know at least 6 families that have applied for the government modification program. None were approved. All the families are struggling.

 

My family was one of them. When I was told we didn't quality, I asked why.

 

They couldn't tell me. The call center person is given no explanation to relay for the disapproval. There is no right "formula" they're aware of. There is no rhyme or reason to the system.

 

The program is being reported in the news as a huge failure.

 

IMO, it was designed that way.

[Blueridge]

:grouphug:

[Teachin'Mine]

:grouphug: I'm praying for you and your family. :grouphug:

[Hockey Mom]

I'm so sorry about your FIL. :( It's tough dealing with aging parents.

 

WRT the modification, we did the same thing you did:

 

Went through the modification process, got approved, sent in our 3-month "trial" payments while the paperwork was being processed (which ended up being a 5-month "trial"), bank "lost" paperwork several times, bank sent the wrong paperwork a couple of times, finally got what the real payment would be in January.

 

In March, they sent more paperwork that said something like, "after an internal audit, THIS is what your payment would be. Please send the corrected amount starting April 1st". The new amount ended up being MORE than what we were paying. We chose to walk away.

 

In the meantime, we contacted a realtor. She put our home up as a 'short sale'. She listed it on a Wednesday, and that Friday we had two cash offers on the home. Our bank lost $50k on our home (which is pretty good considering our area). After a few more tangos with the bank, we finally closed on our house in August 2010.

 

So before you let your home go into foreclosure, you might want to look at the short sale option. We tried to do the right thing the entire time we went through the modification. We had never been late on a payment in the 8 years we owned our home. Still, the bank screwed us at every turn. It was so liberating to close on our house.

 

Also, if you do a short sale, you can qualify for mover's assistance (we call it Obama money). So be sure to ask about it.

[stephanier.1765]

:grouphug: I wish I had some words of wisdom or words of comfort but everything seems so inadequate with what you are going through. I'm so sorry. :grouphug:

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: for your fil :grouphug:

 

:grouphug: for your house :grouphug:

[Heatherwith4]

:grouphug:

[Joanne]

I personally know at least 6 families that have applied for the government modification program. None were approved. All the families are struggling.

 

My family was one of them. When I was told we didn't quality, I asked why.

 

They couldn't tell me. The call center person is given no explanation to relay for the disapproval. There is no right "formula" they're aware of. There is no rhyme or reason to the system.

 

The program is being reported in the news as a huge failure.

 

IMO, it was designed that way.

 

.

WRT the modification, we did the same thing you did:

 

Went through the modification process, got approved, sent in our 3-month "trial" payments while the paperwork was being processed (which ended up being a 5-month "trial"), bank "lost" paperwork several times, bank sent the wrong paperwork a couple of times, finally got what the real payment would be in January.

 

In March, they sent more paperwork that said something like, "after an internal audit, THIS is what your payment would be. Please send the corrected amount starting April 1st". The new amount ended up being MORE than what we were paying. We chose to walk away.

 

In the meantime, we contacted a realtor. She put our home up as a 'short sale'. She listed it on a Wednesday, and that Friday we had two cash offers on the home. Our bank lost $50k on our home (which is pretty good considering our area). After a few more tangos with the bank, we finally closed on our house in August 2010.

 

So before you let your home go into foreclosure, you might want to look at the short sale option. We tried to do the right thing the entire time we went through the modification. We had never been late on a payment in the 8 years we owned our home. Still, the bank screwed us at every turn. It was so liberating to close on our house.

 

Also, if you do a short sale, you can qualify for mover's assistance (we call it Obama money). So be sure to ask about it.

 

It's such an unreal process. One reason I never posted about it here is because the long list of issues is truly unbelievable! I made a payment every month from October (the beginning of the trial period) until May (when the supposed modification was granted). I was totally ready to being permanent payments after I signed the modification papers. They "mis-executed" the papers. Here is a progression of what they told me:

 

1) You didn't return the paperwork. (They finally tracked it using the UPS tracking numbers to their Colorado facility)

2) We need a copy of your divorce decree (given in full in October when I applied).

3) It's being "escalated".

4) It's "with the investors".

5) "The paperwork is being re-done".

 

I called every week, sometimes twice! My xh called and said it was being foreclosed on. I called, and sure enough, it was! I called AGAIN and they told me to submit an entire new set of financials, documentation, etc.

 

You know what's ironic? Of course, those who know the history know that xh reduced child support to $400 a month for 2 years and imposed what turned out to be a $35K lawsuit. This, combined with divided debt from the marriage, lead to bankruptcy for me. That bankruptcy was discharged going on 4 years ago. I was not able to refinance the house out of xh's name. I stayed in the house, but never reaffirmed. I am not legally obligated to pay. If I walk or "short sale", it hurts xh, not me. I don't want to walk. I am to affirm the debt, assume it into my and DH's names. I want to make good on the loan. :001_huh:

[....]

I'm sorry about your FIL. :grouphug:

 

 

 

About your loan modification...do you want to foreclose on the house? If not, can you contact an attorney? I'm saying this because we had a loan modification in 2008 (when we were unemployed and THEY sent us a loan mod contract - out of the blue). We signed it and returned it to them, not knowing what they was going to happen next. :glare:

 

We spent about 9 months fighting our mortgage company, but we ended up getting the modification through and having them adhere to the contract THEY sent us to sign. Our attorney also said we have a winning lawsuit because of the loan mod (had destroyed our credit due to their paperwork error and they refused to fix it), but we're not going to sue. We just wanted everything straightened out.

 

We're loan mod experts at this point. :glare: Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you. Honestly, I think these companies are doing this on purpose. What they're doing is illegal and they're preying on people. For example - our mortgage company insisted we had TWO mortgages after they "approved" our modification. You can only imagine where this headed.

[*Inna*]

:grouphug: I'm sorry...

[i.love.lucy]

Gee, would it be helpful to hear yet another story of someone who has gone through the same thing? This "program" is a joke. We'd get transferred 4-5 times when trying to call our mortgage co only to be told over and over again that they were working on it. We did get a realtor who specialized in short sales and were able to sell ours, but it took his expertise to know how to finesse the system to get them to approve the sale. I don't bother to look at my credit report right now and hope that with time we can repair things. We'd love to buy again someday of course, but who knows. We didn't have any trouble finding someplace to rent but we only had money for that because the mortgage co was not accepting our payments for so long.:confused:

 

I have also recently been through the loss of my father in law. He was in a nursing home, but not for long. It's amazing to me the guilt that my MIL and dh feel about putting him there, but there was no. other. choice. I hope I never in my right mind ask dh or my children to promise that. It's not reasonable, but we aren't reasonable in these times. I hope your family will find some comfort and peace in knowing you are doing the best you can for him.

 

:grouphug:

[....]

Gee, would it be helpful to hear yet another story of someone who has gone through the same thing? This "program" is a joke. We'd get transferred 4-5 times when trying to call our mortgage co only to be told over and over again that they were working on it. We did get a realtor who specialized in short sales and were able to sell ours, but it took his expertise to know how to finesse the system to get them to approve the sale. I don't bother to look at my credit report right now and hope that with time we can repair things. We'd love to buy again someday of course, but who knows. We didn't have any trouble finding someplace to rent but we only had money for that because the mortgage co was not accepting our payments for so long.

 

:grouphug:

 

Yeah, that makes me sooooo mad. Our attorney said that they know EXACTLY what they're doing. I get really angry thinking they're ripping people off on purpose.

 

You must've had a good realtor, too. Good for you!

 

There's a lot of talk on the Dave Ramsey forums about this subject too.

[Mejane]

Your house saga is all too common. I'm sorry for all your troubles, Joanne. :grouphug:

[Joanne]

Gee, would it be helpful to hear yet another story of someone who has gone through the same thing? This "program" is a joke. We'd get transferred 4-5 times when trying to call our mortgage co only to be told over and over again that they were working on it. We did get a realtor who specialized in short sales and were able to sell ours, but it took his expertise to know how to finesse the system to get them to approve the sale. I don't bother to look at my credit report right now and hope that with time we can repair things. We'd love to buy again someday of course, but who knows. We didn't have any trouble finding someplace to rent but we only had money for that because the mortgage co was not accepting our payments for so long.:confused:

 

I have also recently been through the loss of my father in law. He was in a nursing home, but not for long. It's amazing to me the guilt that my MIL and dh feel about putting him there, but there was no. other. choice. I hope I never in my right mind ask dh or my children to promise that. It's not reasonable, but we aren't reasonable in these times. I hope your family will find some comfort and peace in knowing you are doing the best you can for him.

 

:grouphug:

 

That post was helpful in many ways. The mortgage/modification system is so unreal that you begin to wonder if YOU are the crazy one. When see others here line up to say they've BTDT, it helps.

 

Thanks for the personal post on the other topic. We, too, have had no other options for my FIL. My DH has made several choices over the years we've been together and his Dad's overall best interest has always been on my DH's heart. I wish he could see himself as I do in this situation. He's down on himself and all I see is how much he has tried and accomplished.

[MariannNOVA]

I am sorry about your FIL. :grouphug:

 

I do know what you mean about the loan modification process. I sat on the phone for hours acting as translator/facilitator with a woman who was a teacher where I taught as well. Her family's home was on the fast-track to modification, she was told. We had jumped through every hoop, faxed every document, mailed every document, notarized every single piece of paper that had to be notarized, spoke with different people on the same day who all gave us different/conflicting instructions and answers. I worked on this with her from September till June in '08/'09.

 

I don't know what happened (I left the school) but my gut feeling as I read the news, is that it didn't turn out well for her.

 

I'm sorry this is happening to you -- it is awful that we are talking about people's homes here -- the place where they come to at the end of the day and gather with the other members of their family. And a lack of accountability (among other things) in the industry, has shattered that place for these people.

[Denisemomof4]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:I'm so sorry, Joanne. I hope your house situation is worked through and you get to stay in your home.

 

More importantly, your husband needs to somehow make peace with what is going on. This will eat him alive if he doesn't work through it now. When I brought my mother home and she was in such horrific health due to the facility she was at (who immediately changed how they treated her, medically AND physically RIGHT AFTER MY DAD DIED) I promised her I'd take care of her. She was bleeding internally she was so sick. She had ulcerative colitis and they gave her fresh fruit and salads DAILY. She was in so much pain that I couldn't even sleep at night until I got it all under control. Anyway, when we finally put her on Hospice, right here in my home, there was a scary incident where she nearly choked to death. It was Hospice's fault and nurses HERE on WTM advised me and I was able to help her never to get to that place again. But in my heart, I failed her. I was in hysterics for weeks over it and even now, over a year later, I still feel like I failed her. She did die a peaceful death, but she suffered until I increased her meds, ON WTM's NURSE'S ADVICE, against Hospice's advice. I'm so thankful that the last few weeks were peaceful, but I still remember that time I failed her.

 

Unless your husband can be home to care for his father 24/7, really, there's simply no way you could bring him into your home. He needs to somehow accept that and make peace with it.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Carol in Cal.]

I'm so sorry about all this, Joanne.

 

I have a realtor friend who helps people with loan mods on the side, for nothing, just to be nice. She told me on Thursday that she has been working on one since February, and it's not even close to done. She can't believe the number of times people have to go back and start over. It's borderline criminal, if you ask me.

[Mejane]

It's borderline criminal, if you ask me.

 

Oh, it's way over the criminal line, imo. :glare:

[CAMom]

:grouphug: Hospice is a blessing but admitting a loved one to hospice is such a hard thing.:grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry about the house situation, too.:grouphug:

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I'm so sorry about all this, Joanne.

 

I have a realtor friend who helps people with loan mods on the side, for nothing, just to be nice. She told me on Thursday that she has been working on one since February, and it's not even close to done. She can't believe the number of times people have to go back and start over. It's borderline criminal, if you ask me.

 

:iagree: I also think the banks should be accountable for this incompetence of losing paperwork and giving people the run around.

:grouphug:

[justamouse]

Oh, the house I have struggled diligently to keep? Last October, I applied for a modification. It was supposed to take no more than 90 days. In May, the modification was granted, and approved. I signed the paperwork and sent it back in the envelope they provided. They "mis-executed" the paperwork. It has been a cluster-bunch of chaos for a year. You might not understand unless you've been involved in one. You seemingly call the bank but it's really a Government program; a beaurocracy you are dealing with. I called EVERY week and got a different response. :confused: I kid you not.

 

When I got the foreclosure notice, I called again and they asked for updated financials (again, this is about the 6th time I've sent them). We'll see.

 

My state is one of the states that has a hold on foreclosures and my bank is one of the banks that has been told (due to paperwork isssues) to stop foreclosures during an investigation. My bank never tells me that when I call, though. :lol: I just want to start the payments on the modification I was granted. You'd think they'd want to take my money!

 

(((hugs for your FIL and your family)))

 

I have a friend in the EXACT same situation. I was just on the phone with her last night and she told me almost word for word what you just said. The difference being that her bank is not halting foreclosures.

 

You have a platform for a book, have you spoken with any literary agents?

[Murphy101]

No do an Internet search. Literally MILLIONS of people are being screwed by their mortgage company.

 

Ours told us they got the paperwork but couldn't read it, they got it and it was being processed, oh no who you spoke to last was wrong, we don't have it, oh you didn't send xyz. (we did multiple times in multiple ways) we called every single week and we have never been late. For 9 months they flat out lied and BSd us and did NOTHING. Even when they said they did and claimed our mortgage was about to be reduced, it never happened.

 

We called our state attorney general and they said that they KNOW our mortgage company and others are is lying to people, we and others have forwarded our emails and snail mail correspondence and much of it is inaccurate information according to the AG.

 

So what are they doing?

 

Not a d@mn thing.

 

Yep. There's just too many and the Feds refuse to investigate, much less enforce how the federal monies that were supposed to assist with modified loans be used for that purpose.

 

Luckily we are able to hang on for now and stay current.

 

But many can't.

 

I'm thoroughly disgusted with the federal backing of corporate fraud.:glare:

[Hockey Mom]

It's such an unreal process. One reason I never posted about it here is because the long list of issues is truly unbelievable! I made a payment every month from October (the beginning of the trial period) until May (when the supposed modification was granted). I was totally ready to being permanent payments after I signed the modification papers. They "mis-executed" the papers. Here is a progression of what they told me:

 

1) You didn't return the paperwork. (They finally tracked it using the UPS tracking numbers to their Colorado facility)

2) We need a copy of your divorce decree (given in full in October when I applied).

3) It's being "escalated".

4) It's "with the investors".

5) "The paperwork is being re-done".

 

I called every week, sometimes twice! My xh called and said it was being foreclosed on. I called, and sure enough, it was! I called AGAIN and they told me to submit an entire new set of financials, documentation, etc.

 

 

 

:grouphug:

 

I really know the stress you're going through. We called every week too, spoke to a different person each time. They never gave us a point of contact who would actually KNOW what was going on. So each time we called, we had to re-explain our situation, re-explain what we've already done, etc. It was frustrating.

 

Meanwhile, we'd get half a dozen collection calls on the house. "Hello, Mrs. ________? I'm calling from *mortgage company* about your mortgage payment this month. Will you be able to pay *three months worth of payments* to bring your account current today? I can take a check over the phone." Then we'd have to explain to them that we were in the middle of modification, the trial payments had already been sent, please look at our account, blah, blah, blah. They would see that we were in modification, apologize, and promise to update the account so we wouldn't get anymore calls. Two hours later, the process started over again with a different collector. I stopped answering the phone.

 

I wanted to clarify about the 'final' payment they gave us. BEFORE modification we were paying $1250/month for mortgage. After our business lost 80% of our income, we immediately called the bank to try and work something out BEFORE we ended up paying late. The bank told us that they couldn't do anything for us because we were making our payments on time. So we skipped the payment for the following month. No dice. We had to be (3) months behind before we could get anyone to talk to us. That's when we started the modification process. Our first "final" payment after the trial period was going to set our mortgage payment at $1300/month. We agreed to it. THEN, a few months later they sent the "internal audit" paperwork, raising our mortgage to $1795/month. Why the increase? Because we were late on our mortgage payments a few times (in trying to get the bank to work with us to begin with!).

 

I really do think this "program" is set up to fail. It's a shame too because we really did fight hard to keep our house. We weren't one of those "McMansion" owners, and we didn't refinance our house to the max either. We just fell on unexpected bad times (like a lot of people). We tried to do the right thing, but it was a fight the whole way.

 

Anyway, I hope your fight ends better than ours did. :grouphug:

[RoughCollie]

This forum may be helpful:

 

http://www.loansafe.org/forum/

[Amy loves Bud]

Joanne,

 

I'm sorry about your FIL. I know how very hard these decisions are and I'm praying for you and DH as you go through this.

 

As for the house :banghead:! I'm really sorry. When there are so many people out there completely taking advantage of the current housing mess, it is maddening that the people who just want to do the right thing are the ones who are losing out. :grouphug:

[Pretty in Pink]

((((Joanne)))) I'll be praying for you.

[Carpe Diem]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Rosie_0801]

:grouphug:

 

Rosie

[tex-mex]

I am sorry about your FIL. :grouphug:

 

I do know what you mean about the loan modification process. I sat on the phone for hours acting as translator/facilitator with a woman who was a teacher where I taught as well. Her family's home was on the fast-track to modification, she was told. We had jumped through every hoop, faxed every document, mailed every document, notarized every single piece of paper that had to be notarized, spoke with different people on the same day who all gave us different/conflicting instructions and answers. I worked on this with her from September till June in '08/'09.

 

I don't know what happened (I left the school) but my gut feeling as I read the news, is that it didn't turn out well for her.

 

I'm sorry this is happening to you -- it is awful that we are talking about people's homes here -- the place where they come to at the end of the day and gather with the other members of their family. And a lack of accountability (among other things) in the industry, has shattered that place for these people.

:iagree: We went thru the loan modification process back in 2008 and got nowhere with our mortgage company. We asked them to produce WHO owned the note and it took them 2 months to "find" someone in NYC owning the note. (Now we realize that may not have been the truth with what we are now seeing on the news with fraudulent filings on foreclosures.) After 2 years of trying to refi and do loan mod back when we had income and good credit -- we finally gave up due to unemployment -- and let go of the home and declared bankruptcy in 2009. Now we discovered our home is still empty and not yet listed for sale by the bank -- a year and a half later -- but vacant and in "shadow inventory". :glare: Amazing.

[tex-mex]

No do an Internet search. Literally MILLIONS of people are being screwed by their mortgage company.

 

Ours told us they got the paperwork but couldn't read it, they got it and it was being processed, oh no who you spoke to last was wrong, we don't have it, oh you didn't send xyz. (we did multiple times in multiple ways) we called every single week and we have never been late. For 9 months they flat out lied and BSd us and did NOTHING. Even when they said they did and claimed our mortgage was about to be reduced, it never happened.

 

We called our state attorney general and they said that they KNOW our mortgage company and others are is lying to people, we and others have forwarded our emails and snail mail correspondence and much of it is inaccurate information according to the AG.

 

So what are they doing?

 

Not a d@mn thing.

 

Yep. There's just too many and the Feds refuse to investigate, much less enforce how the federal monies that were supposed to assist with modified loans be used for that purpose.

 

Luckily we are able to hang on for now and stay current.

 

But many can't.

 

I'm thoroughly disgusted with the federal backing of corporate fraud.:glare:

:iagree::iagree::iagree: Your story is very similar to ours. The banks got their bailout and left us all holding the bag. Absolutely criminal. :glare:

[elizabeth]

:grouphug:Something's got to give . I am sorry you have had an endless amount of absolute ^&*% to deal with. Wishing for peace for you .

[tabmtbc]

My FIL's body is simply giving out. :angelsad2: He was alert, but not talkative the 4th of July when we pulled him out of the nursing home for what was likely his last family reunion. He made eye contact and cried, and "knew" people.

 

His health has plummeted. He's been disabled since the 1970's - medically retired at 45 (my age!). They never did determine if it was chemical (refinery in Texas) or neurological (smashed by a tank in Germany in Korean War). They just didn't have it to diligently get a diagnosis. He was ultimately given "MS" but it doesn't fit.

 

He's been admitted to the hospital several times in the past year. This last time, his blood pressure was 65/34 and his oxygen saturation very low. IV fluids and a Oxygen machine brought those up but he's not eating, or interacting or even turning to us when we talk to him. The LCSW had the Dr. call his and the Dr. suggested Hospice come into his nursing home.

 

My DH is upset. He promised his parents years ago that he'd never put his Dad in a nursing home. It was an unfair promise they expected of him but that doesn't stop him from feeling like a failure of a son.

 

Oh, the house I have struggled diligently to keep? Last October, I applied for a modification. It was supposed to take no more than 90 days. In May, the modification was granted, and approved. I signed the paperwork and sent it back in the envelope they provided. They "mis-executed" the paperwork. It has been a cluster-bunch of chaos for a year. You might not understand unless you've been involved in one. You seemingly call the bank but it's really a Government program; a beaurocracy you are dealing with. I called EVERY week and got a different response. :confused: I kid you not.

 

When I got the foreclosure notice, I called again and they asked for updated financials (again, this is about the 6th time I've sent them). We'll see.

 

My state is one of the states that has a hold on foreclosures and my bank is one of the banks that has been told (due to paperwork isssues) to stop foreclosures during an investigation. My bank never tells me that when I call, though. :lol: I just want to start the payments on the modification I was granted. You'd think they'd want to take my money!

I have been in this situation. We took care of my mother in law for many years before she went on hospice care in 2007 and died in July 2008. There are no easy answers but I will pray for you/send good thoughts to you and your family. Never faced a foreclosure but I'm sure that is scary.:grouphug:

[Miss Sherry]

I cannot imagine dealing with 2 major issues like that at the same time. I think either one would be very difficult without the other one also.

 

I'm sorry your family is dealing with all of this. I hope someone come's along that can give you some kind of information or help of some kind if there is something that would be of benefit to you regarding the house situation. I would feel lost in knowing how to navigate that situation. :grouphug:

[Jen in PA]

:grouphug:

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[Guest Katia]

Joanne, I'm so sorry.

 

I know my father is getting closer and closer to that time, and he has also let us know that he does NOT want to go into a nursing home. That makes things so hard on us kids. :grouphug: to your dh especially.

 

And :grouphug: for you in regards to the house. My sister and her dh just walked away from their house for this same reason. She tried so long and so hard....it was making her physically sick (asthma, blood-pressure, heart palpitations, etc.) They just moved out and got a rental; a much nicer house in a better neighborhood for a LOT less monthly payments than the mortgage. Anyhow, it bites any way you look at it.

[Ellie]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Just lots of hugs and prayers, honey girl.

[Heather in AL]

Joanne, I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles. :grouphug::grouphug:

 

Hoping for peace for you. And here are more :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Sadly, I think the mtg cos are asking for so many financial updates because they are hoping that people's incomes will go up, thereby enabling them (the cos) to not modify. :glare: We aren't in that situation, but someone close to me is/was, and it's horrible what is going on.

[elfgivas]

I was not able to refinance the house out of xh's name. I stayed in the house, but never reaffirmed. I am not legally obligated to pay. If I walk or "short sale", it hurts xh, not me. I don't want to walk. I am to affirm the debt, assume it into my and DH's names. I want to make good on the loan. :001_huh:

 

:grouphug:

 

you have a lot going on all at once. do you have a financial councillor friend who could listen to you and offer advice?

 

i moved a lot due to xdh being military. one of the things it taught me is "its just a house; a home is where there is love". so if there is any way for you to get to that place, then the stress about the home simply goes away.

 

another spin on it:

you are in an abusive relationship with your bank. you could try rewriting the story as if it were about an individual, and then deal with it that way. i'd reckon its time to stop enabling their dysfunction. even if they do foreclose, you may have years of being able to live in that house. i am not advocating walking. i'm thinking a simple "i have provided all that is required." as the standard response to any of their requests. that said, it would make me crazy, and i would be likely to short sell to just be done with it....

 

:grouphug: (more than half the homes in our area are upside down, and the experiences are mostly very similar to yours. its nuts.)

ann

[Zann]

Sorry to hear about your father in law.

 

On a up note I just heard on the radio the Federal Goverment is investigating Mortgage Companies that have been involved in using illegal methods to foreclose on 100s of thousands of homes. ( Yeah over 100,000)

 

I remembers your post about them asking you for the same documents many times and as part of the investigation goverments have already found agents are lieing and purposely losing documents to illegally foreclose on homes.

 

From your post it looks like you been working hard to keep your home and this might be something to look into and let the goverment know thats exactly whats been happening to you.

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

:grouphug:

[Joy at Home]

:grouphug: So sorry about your FIL.

 

About your mod, I've been there. We were just granted a mod from BOA through MHA, and it was hell to go through. I'm sure we could swap war stories. It took almost a year, lots of different people telling me completely different things, it was so stressful.

 

A helpful website for me was loansafe.org. Lots of people all going through the same thing and attorneys giving free sound advice.

 

Feel free to PM me.

Blessings,

Lisa