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Honestly, my biggest pet peeve is parents who leave small infants screaming in carseats in their shopping carts and ignoring them while they shop or check out or whatever.

 

Toddlers are another matter, sometimes you can't do much about them screaming but remove them, and if you have to buy the groceries first, fine. But an infant crying can 9 times out of 10 be shut up by PICKING THEM UP AND COMFORTING THEM. People don't, and it drives me nuts. Change their diaper, stick a boob or bottle in their mouth, but most of all PICK THEM UP and a least TRY and look like you're trying to comfort them!

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I seen it (just had to do that after Jenn in MO's grammar post--love ya, Jenn!) and nearly laughed myself out of the chair! People never cease to amaze me! Do we (society) have to make such a big deal over EVERYTHING? Do people think they're entitled to have things EXACTLY the way they want them ALL. THE. TIME?

 

I'm as annoyed by screaming children as the next person, but really.

 

Mercy.

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I have kids, obviously, or I wouldn't be here. I take them everywhere. I almost never get a baby sitter. Often times people don't notice my children are there. Why? Because my children, for the most part, know their "public manners".

 

Today there are so many people with the children that don't raise their children to know how to behave properly, and let their children and run wild and scream, that it's really no wonder other people don't want to be places with the children.

 

I've seen children running in restaurants, a server's nightmare. I've seen kids throw food. Make a mess of the table. Yell, scream, pitch a fit, and the parents just say, "Sit down sweetie." And ignore the child and don't react when the child doesn't do as they were instructed to do.

 

If parents would step up and PARENT, maybe less people would be bothered by the presence of children in public places.

 

I don't want my children and my stroller banned from restaurants or other events, but at the same time, I can understand how offensive it can be to other people when poorly behaved children and their non-parenting parents are present.

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Okay. I don't like screaming kids in public places. At all. It makes me want to run away. However, it's not the kids I'm giving the stink eye to on my way out the door - it's the parent or adult in charge of that child.

 

That said, I think No Babies Allowed is really funny :D (in a stupid, arbitrary, ain't-gonna-happen sort of way).

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I have kids, obviously, or I wouldn't be here. I take them everywhere. I almost never get a baby sitter. Often times people don't notice my children are there. Why? Because my children, for the most part, know their "public manners".

 

Today there are so many people with the children that don't raise their children to know how to behave properly, and let their children and run wild and scream, that it's really no wonder other people don't want to be places with the children.

 

I've seen children running in restaurants, a server's nightmare. I've seen kids throw food. Make a mess of the table. Yell, scream, pitch a fit, and the parents just say, "Sit down sweetie." And ignore the child and don't react when the child doesn't do as they were instructed to do.

 

If parents would step up and PARENT, maybe less people would be bothered by the presence of children in public places.

 

I don't want my children and my stroller banned from restaurants or other events, but at the same time, I can understand how offensive it can be to other people when poorly behaved children and their non-parenting parents are present.

 

I agree. However (and this however isn't really directed at you), my problem? That many parents are clueless with *intent*. I will never forget a discussion with a woman who insisted that children should never be coerced into doing something that they don't want to do. If they want to pour the sugar shaker all over the place in a restaurant, that is their human right. She also insisted it was the job of the server to clean it up, not her job. I don't want her OR her kids any place where I have to be. I can't really blame other people for feeling the same way.

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I personally agree with the policy. Too many parents these days refuse to respect other people's rights. *my* opinion is that a person's rights only go so far. No one has the right to impose on others. That means I don't want to hear your 3yo throw a fit. I don't want to deal with your 5yo running around the table. I don't want my children seeing you hitting or yelling at your kids.

 

My kids weren't perfect by any stretch. But I handled it. I didn't expect everyone else to just deal with it.

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This is not too far from me and it has raised a huge local stink.

 

I expect my kids to behave in public. If they can't or won't we leave. My babies never screamed because I was right there. If they fussed and I couldn't soothe them - we'd leave. I didn't need a sign to tell me to do that. I realize that not all parents are that considerate of others.

 

Not sure it's a best business decision for a beach restaurant in a down economy to make but they're getting free publicity.

 

Never personally been there - we can't afford to eat in Carolina Beach. :lol:

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I personally agree with the policy. Too many parents these days refuse to respect other people's rights.

:iagree:

 

I was at a wedding recently where a young couple allowed their baby to scream through almost the entire wedding. It was awful. No one could hear the minister and the bride was in tears. Of course it was being videotaped.

 

My babies were power cryers. I would never have taken them to a wedding in the first place, but if I had, we'd be out the door at the first peep.

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Seems like cheap publicity to me. I hardly think it's necessary to have a policy against screaming kids. Regardless of a restaurants policy, most parents don't tolerate screaming kids anyway. 99% of the time, they do something to quiet the child, even if that means leaving the restaurant.

 

Really? Can I move to where you live?? :D

 

Ugh. I can hardly go anywhere without screaming, nasty, angry little people. I'm sorry but... a little parenting will go a long way. I don't, and have never, made excuses for my DD just because she's a child. She is expected to act right in public. Period. I'd never sit in a restaurant and let my child cry, I can eat at home. No, parents don't have a right to go out to eat if they are disrupting everyone else. Everyone else didn't have a child...

I get so annoyed with the "Stop crying or we're leaving" The crying continues and... no leaving! Well, of course those threats mean nothing, the child has learned that they mean nothing!

 

Lol. Boy do I sound harsh! It really is frustrating though, when you FINALLY get a dinner out with a friend, with no children, and get seated by 2-3 children who are flopping around at the table, screaming, screeching, screaming, stinking, throwing, kicking, etc.

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"The bar bans babies after 5pm..."

 

Wow...and the babies are at the bar in the first place...WHY?

 

There are lots of places that are family/restaurant during the day and bar-ish at night. Even some chains such as TGI Fridays, etc.

 

In my experience as a poker tournament director, there are neighborhood *bars* in which they may have a limited selection of food, but the main focus is bar. There are night clubs, which are late night dance/party places and there are a bunch of establishments in between. Often Sports Bars have kid *centered* amusement such as rides along side the ageless air hockey, and the more mature darts. Around here, they have Family Pool Halls that are family during the day and adult after 11:00.

 

Not all places knows as "bars" are the same.

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Am I the only one with a kid who would screeeeeeeeeeeeeam no matter what? (At 17 months she went into Early Intervention for sensory issues, so that contributed.) I mean, I wouldn't take her to a wedding obviously, but I still had to do things like grocery shop, no matter how much she screamed about everything. Even being held (while trying to get groceries plus caring for her bigger sister) only worked for maybe half the store.

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Am I the only one with a kid who would screeeeeeeeeeeeeam no matter what? (At 17 months she went into Early Intervention for sensory issues, so that contributed.) I mean, I wouldn't take her to a wedding obviously, but I still had to do things like grocery shop, no matter how much she screamed about everything. Even being held (while trying to get groceries plus caring for her bigger sister) only worked for maybe half the store.

 

 

But, you are talking about a grocery store. Did you take her out to restaurants and expect other patrons to just put up with it?

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I don't really care. Some parents do NOT pay any attention to their kids. It is mind boggeling when I go to a restaurant and my two year old behaves better (and granted he is not behaving well :lol:) than their 6,7,8 year olds.

 

There are kids all over the place running amok and it DRIVES ME INSANE. For goodness sakes! Make them sit down! Don't take your kids out if they don't know how to act.

 

Sure I have a rice tosser but I tip darn good, he isn't screaming or running around.

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I seen it (just had to do that after Jenn in MO's grammar post--love ya, Jenn!) and nearly laughed myself out of the chair! People never cease to amaze me! Do we (society) have to make such a big deal over EVERYTHING? Do people think they're entitled to have things EXACTLY the way they want them ALL. THE. TIME?

 

I'm as annoyed by screaming children as the next person, but really.

 

Mercy.

 

:iagree:

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I've always expected dd to behave properly. I'm one that has always expected immediate cheerful compliance. She might have made a mess when a toddler, but she never ran around and/or screamed in public areas.

 

Now, I'd hate to see her and other good kids be banned from restaurants just because other parents have no clue about parenting.

 

How did we go from the behavior expected from parents and kids in the 50s and 60s to what we get today? Did parenting skills not get passed on from the Baby Boomers to the next generations?

 

.

 

Sure I have a rice tosser but I tip darn good, he isn't screaming or running around.

When dd was 2-3 she made horrible messes when she ate. When we were out as a family all day we would need to stop for lunch. We prefer not to go to fast food, so we'd hit the places like Olive Garden and/or Applebee's. When we were done, the server always got a really good tip.

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I personally agree with the policy. Too many parents these days refuse to respect other people's rights. *my* opinion is that a person's rights only go so far. No one has the right to impose on others. That means I don't want to hear your 3yo throw a fit. I don't want to deal with your 5yo running around the table. I don't want my children seeing you hitting or yelling at your kids.

 

My kids weren't perfect by any stretch. But I handled it. I didn't expect everyone else to just deal with it.

 

 

I kind of agree with you.

 

Most of the time that I see kids in public who are crying or screaming I feel a little sorry for the kid. It's usually easy to see that the kid is either tired or overstimulated or they sound like they're hungry. It would be so easy for a parent to comfort or help that situation, but so many parents ignore the kid or yell back at them, which does NOTHING to help. I think there are too many parents who are so into themselves and what THEY want, and what's convenient for THEM, that they don't stop to see what, exactly, is the actual problem with their kid. It's really not rocket science. A kid's needs are usually quite simple.... IF you take the time to listen to them.

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But, you are talking about a grocery store. Did you take her out to restaurants and expect other patrons to just put up with it?

Only when family would come from out-of-town and take us out. (And not fancy places--Applebee's at the most, although it wouldn't be my top choice.) Very occasional things like that. Otherwise I would never have left the house, for two years straight, until her therapy kicked in.

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This was on our radio station yesterday and the DJ invited callers to call in and voice their opinions. I was the 4th caller. The gist of what I said was this: if it's a family restaurant, then those that want peace and quiet should dine elsewhere. If it's a case of bad parents who aren't trying to calm their children, then what you have is a case of bad parents. The child is doing it's best to communicate something is wrong: the parents. But I'm coming from a different angle: I have a special needs son who looks completely "normal" (whatever normal is) and families like mine are continually feeling isolated. When we do brave daily life in a fishbowl (restaurant or mall or whatever) then we often feel shunned by society. We get these looks from people, like "why can't you control your kid?" or "what a spoiled brat" or "look at that mother, why doesn't she just spank him?" They don't see the disability. They'r just quick to judge and cast stones without ever having walked in our shoes. And as for leaving a restaurant during a melt-down? I'm sorry, but for kids with autism that is the LAST thing you should do because that is too rewarding! A countdown, a 5 minute warning, fine. But being asked to leave or to control my child is enough to make me want to shoot flaming daggers through your eyes. Us special needs moms have had years of having to step it up, training this mama bear in us to not take any crap in order to ensure our kids get the best of the best. We are machines when it comes to defending our cubs. To ask us to control our kids or to have them be quiet or to leave is telling me that you think I'm not doing everything I can. I am.

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Am I the only one with a kid who would screeeeeeeeeeeeeam no matter what? (At 17 months she went into Early Intervention for sensory issues, so that contributed.) I mean, I wouldn't take her to a wedding obviously, but I still had to do things like grocery shop, no matter how much she screamed about everything. Even being held (while trying to get groceries plus caring for her bigger sister) only worked for maybe half the store.

 

Nope, me too. And it was also related to sensory issues. No amount of intervention or punishment would have worked - the screaming was related to flourescent lights being too bright, or beeps on the loudspeaker, or socks hitting wrong on the ankle or who knows what else. I avoided a lot of public places, but some were just necessary. I really don't get this anti-kid bias, sometimes there really is nothing the parent can do about a kid's noise reaction and it has zero to do with parental desire or skill.

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Nope, me too. And it was also related to sensory issues. No amount of intervention or punishment would have worked - the screaming was related to flourescent lights being too bright, or beeps on the loudspeaker, or socks hitting wrong on the ankle or who knows what else. I avoided a lot of public places, but some were just necessary. I really don't get this anti-kid bias, sometimes there really is nothing the parent can do about a kid's noise reaction and it has zero to do with parental desire or skill.

Crying babies don't bother me. Toddlers having temper tantrums don't bother me. Parents who ignore their screaming children really annoy me.

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This was on our radio station yesterday and the DJ invited callers to call in and voice their opinions. I was the 4th caller. The gist of what I said was this: if it's a family restaurant, then those that want peace and quiet should dine elsewhere. If it's a case of bad parents who aren't trying to calm their children, then what you have is a case of bad parents. The child is doing it's best to communicate something is wrong: the parents. But I'm coming from a different angle: I have a special needs son who looks completely "normal" (whatever normal is) and families like mine are continually feeling isolated. When we do brave daily life in a fishbowl (restaurant or mall or whatever) then we often feel shunned by society. We get these looks from people, like "why can't you control your kid?" or "what a spoiled brat" or "look at that mother, why doesn't she just spank him?" They don't see the disability. They'r just quick to judge and cast stones without ever having walked in our shoes. And as for leaving a restaurant during a melt-down? I'm sorry, but for kids with autism that is the LAST thing you should do because that is too rewarding! A countdown, a 5 minute warning, fine. But being asked to leave or to control my child is enough to make me want to shoot flaming daggers through your eyes. Us special needs moms have had years of having to step it up, training this mama bear in us to not take any crap in order to ensure our kids get the best of the best. We are machines when it comes to defending our cubs. To ask us to control our kids or to have them be quiet or to leave is telling me that you think I'm not doing everything I can. I am.

 

Thank you because this was what I was thinking. Our almost 7yo is an aspie and it is very mild but when he melts down we.can.not.give in. That spells diaster for a long time to come. Now I will say that we will take him to the car for a short time and sit with him and give him time to control himself but he has to come back and sit with us as a family. It has to happen or the meltdowns will escalate whenever he has to do something he doesn't want to. Fortunately we are working through this and are only seeing issues at church.

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Crying babies don't bother me. Toddlers having temper tantrums don't bother me. Parents who ignore their screaming children really annoy me.

I probably didn't look like I was doing much for dd--because after a certain point there was literally nothing that could be done, so it was best to just finish fast & leave. It made me sad though :( that nothing would help, no amount of parenting/action.

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I probably didn't look like I was doing much for dd--because after a certain point there was literally nothing that could be done, so it was best to just finish fast & leave. It made me sad though :( that nothing would help, no amount of parenting/action.

 

:iagree: It is heart-breaking and frustrating to feel so impotent.

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I probably didn't look like I was doing much for dd--because after a certain point there was literally nothing that could be done, so it was best to just finish fast & leave. It made me sad though :( that nothing would help, no amount of parenting/action.

My dd was the same way. She was colicky, sleep deprived, and very high maintenance. She was much better as a toddler, but when she had a meltdown it was a doozy.

 

But.... the key is "to just finish fast & leave." It didn't happen too often, but if one of my kids was out of control, we left.

 

Sitting through an entire meal or a wedding or a movie or a concert with an out of control kid is just completely unacceptable to me. I've seen all those, and I know those kids weren't autistic. I'm talking about kids whose parents just didn't make any attempt to address the problem.

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I just wanted to add to my opinion.

 

For those with children that have special needs, it is different. I tend to give the benefit of the doubt when I'm out in public, but honestly a lot of times you can just tell when a child is flat out misbehaving (the ones that are running around the restaurant, speaking back to the parents, etc.) This is completely different than an autistic child who is given the wrong food or gets overwhelmed by the noise and has a meltdown.

And you can often tell the difference in the parents. The ones who would geniuinely like to help their children and know there is nothing to be done, and the ones who are annoyed with the interruptions and just want to talk to the other people at the table/on the cell phone/concentrate on their food.

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Some distinction has to be made between places where fussy babies/ screaming toddlers don't have to be, or can be removed (weddings, nice restaurants) and places where you're just stuck with them (airplanes, slow DPS lines :001_rolleyes: ).

 

We spent most of the summer in Scotland. It was an eye-opener. As an example, on one long, twisty, necessary bus ride, dd2 was horribly motion sick and cried, loudly, through the whole thing. We applied wet cloths to the forehead, held her, did everything we could, but it was a nightmare. Nobody even so much as glanced twice at us. On the way out, I apologized to the driver for the noise. He looked genuinely taken aback and said "But it's a baby, innit?" This was the attitude we met everywhere in Scotland. Babies fuss sometimes, and if you can't remove them, there you are.

 

Then it was back to Texas, and getting the hairy eyeball if dd made even a peep in public. Even the stewardesses on the airplanes lived up/down to nationality: the American flight attendant who scolded a young mom in front of me travelling along with two small children (who were actually behaving pretty well, considering the transatlantic flight), versus the British attendant who was compassionate and helpful when dd2's motion sickness (and fussing) flared up again.

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The screaming/noisy children don't really annoy me.... except in a movie theater, in which case, I think the parents should gather the children and leave until everyone can be calm and quiet.

 

What annoys me are the children misbehaving (like running in a store, throwing things in a restaurant, standing up in a shopping cart seat... things that are inconsiderate and dangerous... that the parents could do something about) and the parents are just choosing to ignore it.

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So many of you had great things to say concerning how parents should react, ect., but only a few people touched on what really bothered me about this article. And this article really bothered me. Not because I don't sympathize with people who genuinely have to deal with undisciplined children and the parents who don't care, but because it appeared that the article is lumping all children and parents with children into the same category. Our society is supposedly all about "tolerance" and anti-discrimination and not stereotyping, and yet, that is what is happening to children. They are, in my opinion, one of the "minorities" that are still discriminated against in our society. I mean, what if this restaurant banned blacks or asians or muslims? That would not go over at all!

This "children are not acceptable in public places attitude" is one reason why I personally have such a problem with birth control--not because I feel that everyone who uses it has this attitude, but because I've seen too many instances of people advocating its use because "children are inconvenient." We are discriminating, as a society, against our most precious commodity. This attitude as a whole is wrong. Now restaurants, in my opinion, could deal with the issue so much better by providing nursing rooms and family sections where these children's needs can be catered to without distracting everyone else. As far as all out running around the restaurant wildly and complete out of control behavior, managers have the right to ban those particular families and kick them out just like they would any customer who behaved in a very brash, rude, and disturbing manner. Singling out children in general is not the answer.

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How did we go from the behavior expected from parents and kids in the 50s and 60s to what we get today? Did parenting skills not get passed on from the Baby Boomers to the next generations?

 

I think people have gotten so busy and self-absorbed that they don't have time to discipline (guide and teach). They are permissive and/or punitive with no real discipline involved. There is so much that plays into it all of course. So often:

 

*women almost *must* work

*children are in daycare with underpaid, under-trained workers 10-14 hours per day

*mom got the message to take care of herself (but somehow kiddo got lost in the mix)

*coddling of children is "right"

*expectations and standards are not

*we try to give kids a false sense of esteem

*and the list goes on.

 

Children do not have the family socialization, the discipline (teaching/guidance), the relationships with others, the correction, the consistency, the education, the anything....

 

JMO, of course.

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I wonder what that restaurant would say if a patient mother took her screaming infant and started calmly nursing? ;) But then they would have to print another sign...:D

 

Unfortunately, you're probably right. :glare::glare::glare: Did anyone else notice that nursing in public was referenced right alongside screaming kids as annoying parenting behavior that is no longer being tolerated?

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I haven't read the responses because I have a crazy-busy day ahead. I just wanted to pop in and say that I read that article yesterday & I see no problem with what they are saying. It sounds like if a child can behave she or he is allowed (at least in the 1st place mentioned, but the 2nd place in the article WAS a bar so I can see the no kids after 5:00 policy). One of my biggest pet peeves is when we're out to eat somewhere and parents don't take their screaming, crying babies out. If you can't calm your baby down in a reasonable amount of time, don't take him or her to a restaurant. It's not fair to the other patrons. Oh, and this is coming from me -- the mom of a child who cried for the first 2 years of her life. On the rare occasion we did go out during that time, we would go to child-friendly place off-hours and I would take DD out if she started crying and I couldn't calm her down within a minute or two.

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Some distinction has to be made between places where fussy babies/ screaming toddlers don't have to be, or can be removed (weddings, nice restaurants) and places where you're just stuck with them

 

I agree. As long as the parents aren't acting like undisciplined toddlers themselves (having a fit with yelling and hitting and junk), I have much less issue with it at the grocery store or such places. They have to shop and I don't know what all is going on and I don't judge or get as frustrated.

 

But I have no respect for people who are not respectful or respectable. I cannot imagine a wedding being ruined by a child. I cannot stand for people to expect me to put up with their out of control child while at a restaurant. Your "angel" is not MY "angel" and *I* don't want to put up with him!

 

If you HAVE to be there, I understand. If you don't, leave so the rest of us don't have to put up with your "little dear."

Edited by 2J5M9K
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Children do not have the family socialization, the discipline (teaching/guidance), the relationships with others, the correction, the consistency, the education, the anything....

 

In my opinion, it's the adults who are lacking. They don't know how to deal with their own kids -- they just get frustrated and yell -- and other adults find kids annoying, instead of understanding some things are just NORMAL for children. Other adults are less inclined to step in and help.

 

In other societies, I have observed many adults (including 20 year old young men) who try to play with someone else's unhappy babies and there is a much more communal, rather than combative, environment, where children are seen as a NORMAL part of life, and yes, some people (including kids) cry and are not perfect 24 hours a day.

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When I am out, I do my best to make sure my littles are on their best behavior. But as a parent of a child with autism, I also know that when my child is having a melt down (which fortunately isn't often in my case), it can be very hard to calm said child down. It is not always possible to drop everything and instantly leave a store or restaurant. You have to check out if you are grocery shopping, or settle your bill if at a restaurant. A little understanding from others would be nice.

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In my opinion, it's the adults who are lacking.

 

I'm sorry I was unclear. I would never blame a toddler or a ten yr old for him not receiving appropriate time with his parents, discipline, socialization, an education, etc. The adults are lacking and therefore not providing appropriately for their children. People could say that the adults may have missed out on something in their own childhoods, of course. The difference is that each individual could CHOOSE to learn to provide appropriately for their own child. Children can't choose, while toddlers or young children to gain those things for themselves.

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It is a privately-owned restaurant, so they may do what they'd like. That said, my dh and I decided before our first child was born that we wanted to be able to bring our children with us wherever we went, so we teach our children how to behave in public and avoid places that aren't welcoming of well-behaved children. My desire to bring my child somewhere does not trump the rights of the private property owner.

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When I am out, I do my best to make sure my littles are on their best behavior. But as a parent of a child with autism, I also know that when my child is having a melt down (which fortunately isn't often in my case), it can be very hard to calm said child down. It is not always possible to drop everything and instantly leave a store or restaurant. You have to check out if you are grocery shopping, or settle your bill if at a restaurant. A little understanding from others would be nice.

I think there is a big difference here too. The parents of the infant that is screaming while the parents continue to eat making no effort to calm need the signs. The parents that continue to eat their meal while their toddler that is throwing food onto other customer's tables, or throwing an uncontrolled temper fit need the sign. The parents of the 3- 5-year old child that is wandering around, poking fingers in other diner's plates, throwing up on some poor patron's shoes need the sign. The parents of the kid that stands up and stares over the booth divider at other diners while they are trying to eat or have a conversation need the sign.

 

The parents of children with legitimate issues don't need the sign. In all the places I've lived and all the places I've visited, I've never seen an out of control autistic or special needs child. I've seen autistic and special needs children out and about fairly often. The kids I see out of control are the ones I described above. The kids of the parents who either don't know better or don't care. These are the parents that often yell about their rights as parents not to discipline their kids.

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