I went to parents night at the middle school and was surprised

[MIch elle]

I was surprised how many women attended without their husbands. My dh and I both went.

 

This hasn't been the case with my older ds's school; it's mostly both parents that attend. It's a Catholic all boys high school so I assume that parents esp. dads take more of an interest in their dc.

 

Is this the case where you live (if your dc ever attended school)? If it is then that's sad.

[2_girls_mommy]

It would be for us if we were to use the P.S. Not because dh wouldn't want to attend things like that, but because of when he works. He does try to get off for special events, but it is not always possible.

[Perry]

I was surprised how many women attended without their husbands. My dh and I both went.

 

This hasn't been the case with my older ds's school; it's mostly both parents that attend. It's a Catholic all boys high school so I assume that parents esp. dads take more of an interest in their dc.

 

Is this the case where you live (if your dc ever attended school)? If it is then that's sad.

We are rarely able to both go to those. Someone has to be available to get the kids to their activities, which they have every weeknight. We're lucky if we both make it to concerts, games, and performances.

[Melinda in VT]

Not the case where we live.

[MariannNOVA]

Both parents would typically attend where we live. In fact, when I have taught in the classroom, it was always a mad scramble for more chairs in the classroom as it was expected there would be 2 parents for every child.

 

Back to school night here is a very social thing.

[DawnM]

When the dc went to school I did all the parent conferences and meetings. DH's work schedule for 6 months of the year, which ALL are during the 9 months of school being in session, prevent him from doing a whole lot at nights.

 

DH also sees me as the education person and hasn't felt it necessary to be that involved in their education.

 

We don't find it "sad" at all. I was a high school teacher and guidance counselor for 16 years before staying home to homeschool. DH and I have different roles in our parenting and education is more my thing than his.

 

DH teaches them how to build, work with their hands, do landscaping, and things that he is gifted with.

 

Dawn

[Carrie12345]

Dh came to parents' night when ds started Kindergarten in NJ. We got a baby sitter for the rest of the kids.

 

When we moved here, he rarely attended any school functions because he doesn't have a 9-5 job, and we don't have easy child care options. It's never been a matter of him not caring about ds's education, but of our (far from sad) circumstances.

[ravengal]

My dh and 12yo dd went without me this year. I stayed home with our still homeschooled 8yo dd and my rowdy little grandson. All of her teachers have websites and photos, so I have a virtual idea of them. I'll meet them in person at conference time.

[Pippen]

We are rarely able to both go to those. Someone has to be available to get the kids to their activities, which they have every weeknight. We're lucky if we both make it to concerts, games, and performances.

 

This is our situation as well. Plus when the kids were younger I wasn't going to drag them out for an evening just to attend the sibling's open houses.

 

Even if not, I guess I don't see it as being sad. Some families work just fine having one parent involved.

[SailorMom]

I don't see why it is sad. I think you are failing to consider many possibilities:

Elementary school, middle school, and HS all have parents night the same night - parents split up

DH's working too late (or deployed like mine)

DH's choosing to stay home with much younger sibs so that mom can really focus on the school issues

and last, but not least,

DH and DW have a lot on their plates and it just makes more sense for DW to go and report to DH later.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Is this the case where you live (if your dc ever attended school)? If it is then that's sad.

 

"that's sad" ?

 

Perhaps YOU would be sad if your husband didn't go along - but please don't assume that everyone's lives should run the same way.

 

Our kids were in public school at one point a few years ago. My dh never went to any parents nights or parent/teacher interviews - that kind of 'kid stuff' is, in our family, generally my area. :)

[QueenCat]

Both parents would typically attend where we live. In fact, when I have taught in the classroom, it was always a mad scramble for more chairs in the classroom as it was expected there would be 2 parents for every child.

 

Back to school night here is a very social thing.

 

That's how it was when my kids were in ps. Often, we would hook up with parents at the open house, and go out for dinner or dessert afterwards.

[mrsrevmeg]

It is the norm to see only moms around here. For many reasons:

 

 

• single mothers, no dad in child's life
  
• dad is working
  
• dad doesn't go to "woman things" (and considers school related events woman things)
  
• dad is deployed
  

 

Some reasons are very sad. My husband always went to events when our kids were in school. He was, if not the only, one of very few.

[LaissezFaire]

My dad never attended a single school event ever. Not plays, performances. Nothing. I doubt her ever even knew what my teachers names were or what they looked like. :glare:

[Daisy]

My husband usually sees both parents on back-to-school night, but he teaches first grade. Sometimes he sees grandparents, stepparents, etc. We live in a predominantly Hispanic area and families are HUGE and everyone is involved in everything. I think that is pretty cool.

 

But I agree with others. There are plenty of good reasons why one parent would be unable to attend.

 

If the Dads are unable to attend back-to-school night they can still stop by any time they like to meet the teacher, volunteer, eat lunch with their child, or get a look into the classroom. I wouldn't automatically assume the lack of dads at back-to-night is an indication of lack of involvement.

[EmilyK]

When the kids were littler, my husband was more likely to attend with me, but in large part that was because he now works longer hours and travels more for work. He never skips it just to stay home and veg, but often it is work, a business or other trip, something with our other child, etc.

 

I do have to say that he has a low tolerance for sitting through a lecture about educational philospohies, rules etc. He will do it to show the flag, especially if I can't go, but he takes away very little of the content. So in choosing who to go to such things it is usually me. But he does make it a priority to go to performances and the like.

[Daisy]

When the kids were littler, my husband was more likely to attend with me, but in large part that was because he now works longer hours and travels more for work. He never skips it just to stay home and veg, but often it is work, a business or other trip, something with our other child, etc.

 

I do have to say that he has a low tolerance for sitting through a lecture about educational philospohies, rules etc. He will do it to show the flag, especially if I can't go, but he takes away very little of the content. So in choosing who to go to such things it is usually me. But he does make it a priority to go to performances and the like.

 

LOL. My husband feels the same way and he is a TEACHER. :lol:

 

Luckly our back-to-night is just a time to meet the teacher and check out your child's classroom and curriculum. The parents & children would never even fit inside our gym in order to have an all-school event.

[Crissy]

It's a Catholic all boys high school so I assume that parents esp. dads take more of an interest in their dc.

 

 

I wouldn't assume that missing a parent meeting means *anything* about a dad's interest in his children's lives.

[Snickerdoodle]

Maybe the father is working two jobs, or

working in another city, or

works nights, or

has a nightmare of a commute, or

insert your own...

 

The possibilities are endless.

[LibraryLover]

My dh goes to these sort of events at the high school for our teen son. I am the one who stays home. There is no need for both of us to hear the same pep talks again and again. :auto: His pateince level is better developed than mine.

[Pixie]

Tonight is back to school nght at my 9yo school. I will be going alone. First dh won't be home by the time it starts, and then I need him to drive the 12 yo to dance while I am at the school. There is no need for both of us to be there.

He will come to all concert, performances, games... as much as he can but sometime it is just easier if he does not.

[LibraryLover]

Sometimes dh and I split up the cross country races, too. It's not very interesting watching paint dry. :D

 

Tonight is back to school nght at my 9yo school. I will be going alone. First dh won't be home by the time it starts, and then I need him to drive the 12 yo to dance while I am at the school. There is no need for both of us to be there.

He will come to all concert, performances, games... as much as he can but sometime it is just easier if he does not.

[MotherMayI]

It would be for us if we were to use the P.S. Not because dh wouldn't want to attend things like that, but because of when he works. He does try to get off for special events, but it is not always possible.

 

Same here.

[Amy1k]

I'm going to have to agree with most of the posters here. I went sans husband to back-to-school night this year, he was working. The last couple of years he went without me so I could take another kid to football practice. You can be plenty involved without attending every single event.

[Giraffe]

I don't see why it is sad. I think you are failing to consider many possibilities:

Elementary school, middle school, and HS all have parents night the same night - parents split up

DH's working too late (or deployed like mine)

DH's choosing to stay home with much younger sibs so that mom can really focus on the school issues

and last, but not least,

DH and DW have a lot on their plates and it just makes more sense for DW to go and report to DH later.

 

This is what I was thinking. In our situation, there are no kids at parents' nights and so if grandma can't babysit one of us has to stay home with her while the other goes to the event and reports back to the other.

 

It's not necessarily sad, it's life and all the obligations/responsibilities that come with it.

[MBM]

I was surprised how many women attended without their husbands. My dh and I both went.

 

This hasn't been the case with my older ds's school; it's mostly both parents that attend. It's a Catholic all boys high school so I assume that parents esp. dads take more of an interest in their dc.

 

Is this the case where you live (if your dc ever attended school)? If it is then that's sad.

 

My husband and I rarely show up together at events like that because one of us has to stay home with our son. The legal age to leave a child home alone here is 14. The law allows some leeway, but we have neighbors who have questioned if we ever leave our 13-year-old home alone. So... there you go. That's our main reason.

 

Now I'm wondering if other parents think we're pathetic. LOL! :D

 

We are both very interested in our children, though. And, let me tell you, I am soooo ready for ds to turn 14! :)

 

 

ETA: I also send my husband to Parent Night, but we both show up for conferences.

Edited September 2, 2010 by MBM

[....]

I have to say that I am always The Lone Ranger at every single event that involves the kids... My husband works 7 days a week. He gets up around 4:30am, leaves and comes home anywhere between 6 and 9pm. He was recently promoted this week...:crying: Now, he is on-call 24 hours a day, must carry a Blackberry with him wherever he goes and I will probably never see him again...:angry:

[Unicorn.]

Dh is a middle/high school teacher. He might have 4 parents per class show up to meet the teacher night. Elementary school was pretty much both parents, and crowded. It seems though, that by middle school, parents just don't think it's important?

 

ETA: Oh, and here, the kids go w/ parents to these things.

[EmilyK]

LOL. My husband feels the same way and he is a TEACHER. :lol:

 

Luckly our back-to-night is just a time to meet the teacher and check out your child's classroom and curriculum. The parents & children would never even fit inside our gym in order to have an all-school event.

 

That is HILARIOUS. I will try to control my eye-rolling better -- I thought maybe it was just my husband. It was on my mind because I went to such an event last night for my son who is starting a new private school. My husband came to the potluck after the orientation lecture, but I was so glad I was the one who went to the lecture itself. When I send him, I get "it was fine" as a report. I'm an information junkie so that is *not* satisfying for me!

[May]

My dh usually attended all of these events if he was in town or wasn't deployed. We were blessed with an elderly couple who would watch dds if it was a parent only event.

[MBM]

ETA: Oh, and here, the kids go w/ parents to these things.

 

You're lucky. My son's school is fairly new but already filled to capacity. The school would have trouble accommodating parents and all of their children in the classrooms because turnout is always high. I can understand why our school asks parents to keep children at home.

 

I am glad that children are allowed to attend conferences, though. My son goes to those with us and waits in the hallway or sits with us.

[gingersmom]

My X husband is deceased. So yes I would be attending alone.

 

Shocking but true.

[RanchGirl]

I would think it would be sad if parents consistently skip all the meetings, but in some of these situations one parent is plenty, and sometimes two parents is overkill. I've sat through a couple meetings for the gifted program at our school -- good heavens that was boring and a typical huge waste of time, just giving us the handout would answer any and all questions (though it wouldn't fill the need of the speaker to hype her program or hear herself speak). I could have dragged my husband along, but he'd usually have to miss one of the kids' sports practices and why punish both of us?

[eclipse]

When ds1 went to school, dh came to some of these things - but he's a retail manager and often worked evenings. He was more likely than some other working parents to attend things during the school day, though, because he often had his days off in the middle of the week or didn't have to go in until afternoon/evening. We also have two younger kids who, at the start of ds' kindergarten year, were 11 months and 3 years old - if he was off the night of evening events, sometimes he would stay home (or somewhere out of the classroom) to watch the younger ones so I could focus on what was being said/happening in the classroom.

[smrtmama]

It would be for us if we were to use the P.S. Not because dh wouldn't want to attend things like that, but because of when he works. He does try to get off for special events, but it is not always possible.

 

Same here. When Captain S was in public school, I went to most events alone, due to Daddyman's schedule.

[DawnM]

Teachers are the worst! Or they were at our school. there were some friends I couldn't even sit next to during in-services as their dry wit and sarcasm re: the subject at hand had me laughing so hard I couldn't control myself!

 

The joke was always, "What educational philosophy from yester-year are you revitalizing and claiming it is NEW?" :glare:

 

Dawn

 

LOL. My husband feels the same way and he is a TEACHER. :lol:

 

Luckly our back-to-night is just a time to meet the teacher and check out your child's classroom and curriculum. The parents & children would never even fit inside our gym in order to have an all-school event.

[KidsHappen]

In our area, you usually see just as many dads as moms at most children's events. This is much different than when I was a child and it was unheard of for a father to in any way be involved in the child's education or even most sports. Of course, I am a military brat so that might have had something to do with it but it definitely seems like there has been progress in this area.

[nd293]

Babysitting would be an issue for us... When dd was in school (and mind you this was Gr1) they did not do parent evenings, but rather individual child-parent-teacher conferences where the child spoke and the teacher helped out. This was during a daytime slot, and certainly made attending easier. Specific problems could always be discussed by appointment.

 

Nikki

[JFSinIL]

Here, if one has younger kids they stay home with the tired-from-work-parent (usually Dad) and Mom goes to open house. Open houses are crowded enough, middle and high schools usually discourage younger siblings attending.

Edited September 3, 2010 by JFSinIL

[bettyandbob]

I don't think it's sad. Typically, a significant percentage of children have no parent attending. When I taught public school way back when, I was just glad a parent came. Today, my ds attends public high school. Both dh and I go to back to school night. When we go, I see a lot of men, but I think there are more women. Not all of these people are attending with a spouse. Sometimes men go alone, sometimes women go alone. It's great when they both go, but it's also great when someone goes.

 

As for dads going to these things at all. My dad worked very long hours when I was a kid. He went to every back to school night. He did not go to all our performances, though he tried to get to some. He went to back to school every time because our education was extremely important to him and he wanted to know as much as he possibly could from the teachers. He held our academics as more important than sporting events and prioritized his time this way. That is what my dad did, I know that is not what works in every family. Dh's parents attended nothing, not alone, not together.

[EmilyK]

I don't think it's sad. Typically, a significant percentage of children have no parent attending. When I taught public school way back when, I was just glad a parent came.

 

 

I think this is important to remember. I've been to events where we had to take kids under our wing who were sad no one showed up for "special friends" day or similar events.

[Heather in WI]

I don't think it's sad. We have four kids. I imagine that one of us would stay home with the littles while the other goes to the meeting.

[Cortana]

Very normal here, most dad's are either working (mine always had to) or stayed home with the kids. In the case of a couple parents I know, they had to split up for different schools (1 child in elementary school, 1 in high school).

[jujsky]

This moms-only thing isn't just a school phenomenon. When DS played t-ball last year, most of the dads didn't go on a regular basis. DH is always shocked when he takes the kids to events and he is the only dad there. It happens ALL the time though!

[Splash]

My dh always stays home with the younger children so they don't have to be out late. Plus he's in bed by 8:00 due to getting up at 3:00. If it is a concert or something that ds is in then he attends.