Racist People Suck

[Heather in Neverland]

So yesterday we decided to go car shopping. Yes, the rumors are true... the motorcycle is no longer welcome in this family.

 

Now car shopping in Penang is sort of a depressing little task because all the cars here look exactly the same. So it's like "Would you like THIS small, square-shaped, boring car with a lawn-mower engine? or THAT small, square-shaped, boring car with a lawn-mower engine? And I'm like, really? What's the difference? It certainly makes me miss the variety we have in America.

 

At any rate, yesterday's car shopping was even more frustrating than usual because I also got to experience my first real dose of racism here. It went like this:

 

We walk into a small dealership. A young Chinese salesman comes over to assist us. He has great English which is helpful. I am looking at a car that seems to be exactly what I want... only two years old, very low mileage, good price, excellent condition and then he says...

 

him- And you will be happy to know the previous owner is Chinese.

 

me- why would that make me happy?

 

him- well here on the island we have Chinese, Indian and Malay people (he obviously thought I just moved here)

 

me- yes, I am aware of that

 

him- well, (and he gives me this little smirk like he is about to share some secret knowledge with me) you only want to buy cars owned by Chinese...don't buy a car owned by an Indian (and he punctuates this sentence with a look of disgust...like he just drank spoiled milk)

 

So I am standing there picturing my beautiful daughter's face sitting in the back of that car...my beautiful INDIAN daughter...and I had the sudden urge to take a Louisville slugger to this guy's head. But because I have class that he obviously lacks (and because I don't want to end up locked in a Malaysian jail cell)...I simply say...

 

"Thank you for your time. I think we will look elsewhere."

 

You could call it grace under fire.

You could call it wanting to avoid jail time.

I call it "stupid racist idiot...I wouldn't buy a car from you if you were the last dealer on the island"

 

racist people suck

 

the end.

[Remudamom]

Wow, what a jerk. I think you showed great restraint.

[creekland]

racist people suck

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

Sorry you had to have that experience and even sorrier to know there's another one out there.

[Jen+4dc]

Wow, what a jerk. I think you showed great restraint.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Yup, racist people suck.

[KidsHappen]

I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to refrain from asking, "and why exactly is that?" before I unloaded both barrels on him. You are a better woman thy I but you can bet my butt I would be telling every single person I knew about it, maybe even take out an ad in the news letter or something, IYKWIM.

[MamaT]

You behaved much better than I did when a little girl called my black daughter the "n" word and her mother chose to ignore it. I have no patience with racists.

[Julie in AZ]

Oh. my. goodness. I'm so sorry, Heather. :grouphug: Good for you for walking away.

[Heather in Neverland]

You behaved much better than I did when a little girl called my black daughter the "n" word and her mother chose to ignore it. I have no patience with racists.

 

oh wow. I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Awful, awful people.

[TN Mama]

I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to refrain from asking, "and why exactly is that?" before I unloaded both barrels on him. You are a better woman thy I but you can bet my butt I would be telling every single person I knew about it, maybe even take out an ad in the news letter or something, IYKWIM.

 

:iagree: I'm sorry about your experience, Heather. And I completely agree that racist people suck! :grouphug:

[BikeBookBread]

:mad::angry::crying:

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

That is terrible! I am so sorry! I was waiting for the part where he said, "Oh, don't get me wrong, I have Indian Friends!" :glare:

[Chocolate Lover]

Yes, all the "isms" are awful! So sorry you went through that.

[Nakia]

I was wondering what had happened when I read your Facebook status. Like I said there, I am so sick of all the hate, ignorance, and intolerance in this big dumb world. It is so much easier to love people than hate.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

:grouphug:

[meet me in paris]

yuck! Good for you for walking away. I have an African American daughter and deal with that crap all the time. It never gets easier.

 

:grouphug:

[Nakia]

You behaved much better than I did when a little girl called my black daughter the "n" word and her mother chose to ignore it. I have no patience with racists.

 

WHAT IN THE H*LL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??

 

I can just see MamaT breaking bad on somebody. ;)

[Sparkle]

What an idiot. You did good :grouphug:

[Vanna]

Heather, it was hard but you did the right thing.

 

I've experienced such comments my whole life (though thankfully in my adult yrs they have been few and far in between).

[Catwoman]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

What an awful thing for that salesman to have said!

 

Cat

[LG Gone Wild]

So yesterday we decided to go car shopping. Yes, the rumors are true... the motorcycle is no longer welcome in this family.

 

Now car shopping in Penang is sort of a depressing little task because all the cars here look exactly the same. So it's like "Would you like THIS small, square-shaped, boring car with a lawn-mower engine? or THAT small, square-shaped, boring car with a lawn-mower engine? And I'm like, really? What's the difference? It certainly makes me miss the variety we have in America.

 

At any rate, yesterday's car shopping was even more frustrating than usual because I also got to experience my first real dose of racism here. It went like this:

 

We walk into a small dealership. A young Chinese salesman comes over to assist us. He has great English which is helpful. I am looking at a car that seems to be exactly what I want... only two years old, very low mileage, good price, excellent condition and then he says...

 

him- And you will be happy to know the previous owner is Chinese.

 

me- why would that make me happy?

 

him- well here on the island we have Chinese, Indian and Malay people (he obviously thought I just moved here)

 

me- yes, I am aware of that

 

him- well, (and he gives me this little smirk like he is about to share some secret knowledge with me) you only want to buy cars owned by Chinese...don't buy a car owned by an Indian (and he punctuates this sentence with a look of disgust...like he just drank spoiled milk)

 

So I am standing there picturing my beautiful daughter's face sitting in the back of that car...my beautiful INDIAN daughter...and I had the sudden urge to take a Louisville slugger to this guy's head. But because I have class that he obviously lacks (and because I don't want to end up locked in a Malaysian jail cell)...I simply say...

 

"Thank you for your time. I think we will look elsewhere."

 

You could call it grace under fire.

You could call it wanting to avoid jail time.

I call it "stupid racist idiot...I wouldn't buy a car from you if you were the last dealer on the island"

 

racist people suck

 

the end.

 

It's like that the whole world 'round.

[Dobela]

You will never be the same, nor will you ever see the world the same. My son and daughter are a different color than me and it is amazing how many idiot racist people there are in the world. Yeah, you will most likey have many more times of anger. :grouphug:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

People who think they are better than others suck- racist or otherwise! Good thing you didn't have that Louisville Slugger handy!

[Heather in Neverland]

You will never be the same, nor will you ever see the world the same. My son and daughter are a different color than me and it is amazing how many idiot racist people there are in the world. Yeah, you will most likey have many more times of anger. :grouphug:

 

And this is exactly why my heart hurts today. I am coming face-to-face with the reality that it probably won't go away and it won't be the last time someone says something ignorant. I know it is al esson in grace and forgiveness...but it is a hard lesson. :(

[LittleIzumi]

And this is exactly why my heart hurts today. I am coming face-to-face with the reality that it probably won't go away and it won't be the last time someone says something ignorant. I know it is al esson in grace and forgiveness...but it is a hard lesson. :(

:grouphug::grouphug:

[SonshineLearner]

Was he saying that because of "Indian" or because of spices that stick around. (do they happen to stick around in cars??) I mean, I hate to think it's seriously because of the race of the person. I am always one to over think things. I know that once an owner rented to someone Indian in NJ... at the time I was there... they basically couldn't rent to anyone else. (because of the strong spices like curry...)

 

Could it be something like this? I actually think that I could just go crazy if I had to look at everyone... all the time... and they looked exactly like me. I was SOOOOO wanting to see some people of other colors after moving to where I now live. I was just basically staring because it was so much more like home... when I had some diversity. I know... kinda silly.... Anyway, I have always thought it'd be great to adopt a young child... and I would just look for the "right child" versus the "right age". I don't want to be color blind. I want to see the beauty in all of us :)

 

You have a lovely family Heather!! (And good decision to not let your husband have another motorcycle!!!)

[Heather in Neverland]

Was he saying that because of "Indian" or because of spices that stick around. (do they happen to stick around in cars??) I mean, I hate to think it's seriously because of the race of the person. I am always one to over think things. I know that once an owner rented to someone Indian in NJ... at the time I was there... they basically couldn't rent to anyone else. (because of the strong spices like curry...)

 

Could it be something like this? I actually think that I could just go crazy if I had to look at everyone... all the time... and they looked exactly like me. I was SOOOOO wanting to see some people of other colors after moving to where I now live. I was just basically staring because it was so much more like home... when I had some diversity. I know... kinda silly.... Anyway, I have always thought it'd be great to adopt a young child... and I would just look for the "right child" versus the "right age". I don't want to be color blind. I want to see the beauty in all of us :)

 

You have a lovely family Heather!! (And good decision to not let your husband have another motorcycle!!!)

 

Unfortunately, racism is a big problem here between all 3 major culture groups and the government makes it worse by actually having laws that gives one race special privileges over another. And the Indians here seem to have it the hardest. It is really sad.

[Osmosis Mom]

Was he saying that because of "Indian" or because of spices that stick around. (do they happen to stick around in cars??) I mean, I hate to think it's seriously because of the race of the person. I am always one to over think things. I know that once an owner rented to someone Indian in NJ... at the time I was there... they basically couldn't rent to anyone else. (because of the strong spices like curry...)

 

Could it be something like this? I actually think that I could just go crazy if I had to look at everyone... all the time... and they looked exactly like me. I was SOOOOO wanting to see some people of other colors after moving to where I now live. I was just basically staring because it was so much more like home... when I had some diversity. I know... kinda silly.... Anyway, I have always thought it'd be great to adopt a young child... and I would just look for the "right child" versus the "right age". I don't want to be color blind. I want to see the beauty in all of us :)

 

You have a lovely family Heather!! (And good decision to not let your husband have another motorcycle!!!)

 

This and also the reality that the Chinese of his ancestry probably have some history with the Indians in Malaysia. Probably some sort of rivalry.

[Anne Rittenhouse]

Welcome to one of the harshest realities of living overseas. As bad as some individuals can be within our US shores, we are light years ahead of most of the rest of the world in this area. Eventually you will have to do business with someone who desperately needs at rearrangement of his brain cells via a Louisvillle Slugger. How much cross cultural training have you recieved since arriving?

[Guest rachnov1]

Racism is everywhere. The unfortunate rule of thumb seems to be that fair is better than dark when it comes to skin colour, and Asia is no different. Its not at all uncommon to see the fairer Asians like the northern Indians, the Chinese, the Japanese, discriminating or looking down upon the darker-skinned Asians like the Thais, Indians, Filipinos, even on Africans. You will obviously get those who aren't like this at all, like Japanese/Chinese/northern Indians who are really into their hip-hop and worship black Western culture, or Chinese people who love Thai culture and have loads of Thai friends, or Chinese people who intermarry with Filipinos (but normally the well-off Filipinos, not the poor ones). These are just some of the possible circumstances. But the Chinese salesman you met was unfortunately one of the more close-minded and ignorant of his race.

 

In Asia people there have not undergone the sort of social change that the West had faced since the abolition of slavery, so they don't think its an issue. Westerners are generally more aware of the ethics behind racist issues but it doesn't mean that racism is wiped out in the West, but that's as far as people can go really. You can educate people about it, but you can't force them to think the way you'd like them to think. In Asia, because racism was never made that much of an issue in politics, people are generally quite ignorant or try to turn a blind eye to what's really going on around them. Many Asians claim even that racism does not exist in Asia, but they are probably the more well-off ones who had led a very sheltered privileged life, have never actually came into contact with the more disadvantaged races of their community because they themselves have never faced discrimination and haven't had the chance to befriend or get to know someone who is from a less privileged background, and they themselves hadn't lived in other countries as foreigners before! In Asia some sort of "slavery" is still going on in the form of domestic maids - most of whom come from the poorer Asian nations like the Phillipines, Indonesia, etc - and the richer Asians hire them and pay them a real pittance compared to what someone in Europe would pay their own domestics. However this type of "slavery" is a perfectly legal and socially acceptable phenomenon in Asia. People there really don't feel bad about paying an untrained live-in domestic in Asia S$300 a month to work 7 days a week 24 hours a day, and then ***** about the maid if she can't do things the way they would like! In short, Asians have not had the sort of anti-racist riots, movments, etc. that you've seen in Western history to make racism into a "real" issue. So its pretty much accepted as a part of daily life there.

 

What the shopkeeper did to you was sad, but reflective of the situation there. You won't get that many Asians being blatant about racism to you in your face, but its often a sort of hidden vibe that will only get exposed if and when you get the opportunity to scratch the surface.

Edited August 27, 2010 by rachnov1

[nono]

Welcome to one of the harshest realities of living overseas.

 

Definitely in Malaysia. Oh, and the stack rank back when it was Malaya was: White (English), Chinese, Indian, Malay. Those that caused the stack rank left, but the other three remain. Legislating the fix hasn't worked.

[mommaduck]

I've seen racism come from various ethnicities: white, black, Native, Filipino, one European ethnicity against another, and even heard that the Japanese used to think "white" people were barbaric and lower on the evolutionary scale (because "white" people are hairy like animals). So yes, it's one of mankind's vises.

 

You handled things gracefully. Another option, if you ever have the stamina to not slug someone over it, is to talk them around their racism and make them see how illogical their racism is. Sometimes people don't THINK, they just DO what they have experienced as the norm. Once you make them THINK, you've stopped them in their tracks and they get to stuttering. I know that some people are just impossible to talk to though.

[FO4UR]

:grouphug:

[Peela]

But was there a reason? I mean...the truth is, certain ethnicities have certain characteristics. For example, the Chinese are known here for their shrewd business skills. The Indians are frugal and yet friendly. We deal with eastern Europeans frequently at our local markets and they have different characteristics to ...say the Italians at the other markets we go to often. I live in a multi cultural area...it is not racist to notice the cultural differences, or even to warm towards some more than others. I am just wondering what it was that this man was referring to, that would make a Chinese owned car more desirable than an Indian owned car? Are the Chinese Malayans more fastidious, perhaps? Are they wealthier?

I have spent all day today at a seminar run by an Aboriginal elder, about Aboriginal culture and of course the subject of racism came up, and rightly so. And I have a deep love for aboriginal culture and my presence there, with my kids, was evidence of that. However...it doesnt mean I am goign to go and walk down the streets at night where the local aboriginal gangs are drunk and violent. I mean...its life...people are always people...but cultures can at times have different characteristics- especially local subcultures.

And I love Indians too- have been to India 3 times- but wouldnt for a minute trust my luggage in a train station there not to be stolen if I wasnt watching.

I get that the car salesman may have been outrightly racist...I dont quite get that its automatically racist to discriminate at times, even in a general sense.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Racism is everywhere. The unfortunate rule of thumb seems to be that fair is better than dark when it comes to skin colour, and Asia is no different. Its not at all uncommon to see the fairer Asians like the northern Indians, the Chinese, the Japanese, discriminating or looking down upon the darker-skinned Asians like the Thais, Indians, Filipinos, even on Africans. You will obviously get those who aren't like this at all, like Japanese/Chinese/northern Indians who are really into their hip-hop and worship black Western culture, or Chinese people who love Thai culture and have loads of Thai friends, or Chinese people who intermarry with Filipinos (but normally the well-off Filipinos, not the poor ones). These are just some of the possible circumstances. But the Chinese salesman you met was unfortunately one of the more close-minded and ignorant of his race.

 

In Asia people there have not undergone the sort of social change that the West had faced since the abolition of slavery, so they don't think its an issue. Westerners are generally more aware of the ethics behind racist issues but it doesn't mean that racism is wiped out in the West, but that's as far as people can go really. You can educate people about it, but you can't force them to think the way you'd like them to think. In Asia, because racism was never made that much of an issue in politics, people are generally quite ignorant or try to turn a blind eye to what's really going on around them. Many Asians claim even that racism does not exist in Asia, but they are probably the more well-off ones who had led a very sheltered privileged life, have never actually came into contact with the more disadvantaged races of their community because they themselves have never faced discrimination and haven't had the chance to befriend or get to know someone who is from a less privileged background, and they themselves hadn't lived in other countries as foreigners before! In Asia some sort of "slavery" is still going on in the form of domestic maids - most of whom come from the poorer Asian nations like the Phillipines, Indonesia, etc - and the richer Asians hire them and pay them a real pittance compared to what someone in Europe would pay their own domestics. However this type of "slavery" is a perfectly legal and socially acceptable phenomenon in Asia. People there really don't feel bad about paying an untrained live-in domestic in Asia S$300 a month to work 7 days a week 24 hours a day, and then ***** about the maid if she can't do things the way they would like! In short, Asians have not had the sort of anti-racist riots, movments, etc. that you've seen in Western history to make racism into a "real" issue. So its pretty much accepted as a part of daily life there.

 

What the shopkeeper did to you was sad, but reflective of the situation there. You won't get that many Asians being blatant about racism to you in your face, but its often a sort of hidden vibe that will only get exposed if and when you get the opportunity to scratch the surface.

 

:iagree: I've seen this myself both in Japan and the Philippines.

[Ester Maria]

I'm with Peela on this one, generally. Of course, I wasn't present during the actual situation that happened and cannot know whether it was a relatively "innocuous" remark or the one that's a result of baseless hatred, but...

 

But sometimes people, especially people from ultra-politically-correct countries such as the US, make it an issue somewhat more than it should be, if you know what I mean, and start reading serious baseless hatred into what was probably a half-joking, relatively innocuous comment pertaining one's experience with cultural differences (again, Peela's post sums it up very nicely). I've seen numerous examples of people who maybe worded something too clumsily, or said something using an unacceptable metaphor, or something along those lines - and they honestly didn't mean anything truly horrifying and bad.

 

You must also keep in mind that the guy was speaking in a, to him, foreign language, communicating in a, to him, somewhat foreign decorum (linguistically AND non). Even to people with academic knowledge of a foreign language and years of living in a foreign culture happens that in some instances they judge poorly on what's acceptable to say, and what's not, when it's acceptable to smirk, and when not - let alone to somebody that communicates through a truly foreign medium. People often overlook that, taking things more seriously than they should be taken.

 

Again, I'm not saying that there's no way it was outright racism - such cases exist. Just speaking generally, I try not to take things to the heart when it comes to this.

[Audrey]

That does suck.

 

I feel the same way, though, when I hear people talking about not wanting to be around, or have their children play with people who are not the "right religion."

 

In my area, this is a sad, painful and all too common occurence.

[mommaduck]

That does suck.

 

I feel the same way, though, when I hear people talking about not wanting to be around, or have their children play with people who are not the "right religion."

 

In my area, this is a sad, painful and all too common occurence.

:grouphug:

 

Our evaluator is pagan. My kids love visiting with her kids and being shown all the cool animals (who are usually named after gods and goddesses). They show us respect (more than I've been shown by some of the so-called Christians in this county) and we show them the same. I have to wonder, "is it really that difficult?!"

[Nakia]

That does suck.

 

I feel the same way, though, when I hear people talking about not wanting to be around, or have their children play with people who are not the "right religion."

 

In my area, this is a sad, painful and all too common occurence.

 

I hate that too. It makes me so sad. One of my friends, who has three sons, met a wonderful lady with two boys in their homeschool group. She (my friend) decided they couldn't really be friends because the other family was atheist. It could've been a beautiful friendship! I have many atheist friends, including my very awesome sister in law, whom I adore!! I refuse to raise hateful, intolerant, ignorant children.

[Audrey]

:grouphug:

 

Our evaluator is pagan. My kids love visiting with her kids and being shown all the cool animals (who are usually named after gods and goddesses). They show us respect (more than I've been shown by some of the so-called Christians in this county) and we show them the same. I have to wonder, "is it really that difficult?!"

 

I hate that too. It makes me so sad. One of my friends, who has three sons, met a wonderful lady with two boys in their homeschool group. She (my friend) decided they couldn't really be friends because the other family was atheist. It could've been a beautiful friendship! I have many atheist friends, including my very awesome sister in law, whom I adore!! I refuse to raise hateful, intolerant, ignorant children.

 

 

Honestly, it's not so much the pagan or atheist that gets shunned. I don't think that registers on most people's radar around here. But there is a chasm between the 2 dominant religious groups here that is just painful. It tears families apart sometimes. I've seen families shun their own members for marrying someone of the "wrong religion." Their own family! They married a decent, loving human being, but all that matters is their religion?? :001_huh:

 

I am automatically assumed to belong to one group because of my last name. That's how it works. It doesn't matter that I am actually a witch and an atheist. My name puts me firmly on one side. All assumptions based on your name, who you married (or didn't), which town you're closest to (because some are known to be run by one group, some by the other). Some people consider "you don't seem like a ____" or "you're one of the good ____" as a compliment. :glare:

 

It's insane. And, very, very sad.

Edited August 27, 2010 by Audrey

[mommaduck]

ugh, I'm sorry to hear that, Audrey :(

[Audrey]

ugh, I'm sorry to hear that, Audrey :(

 

 

As am I to hear of someone denigrating someone else because of their colour or nation of origin.

 

If I were Heather, I'd have witch-slapped that salesman all the way back to China.

[Rosie_0801]

Manners sure can vary.

 

I had a lecturer at uni who was Indian. He was overseas somewhere, quite possibly Malaysia and had other Indians telling him to watch out for the Chinese because they were X, Y and Z. He told the chap his wife was Chinese. Now we would have turned beetroot red and turned on the apologies. Is that what this guy did? No! He said "What did you do that for?!!!" as though he was concerned for my lecturers mental health.

 

The lecturer thought it was funny. Definitely racist by Australian standards, but he wasn't in Australia. Naturally we all have lines that we believe shouldn't be crossed, and that is ok, but cultural relativism is a handy concept to keep around.

 

Rosie

[Heather in Neverland]

I am trying really hard to buy into the cultural relativism idea and it works for a lot of things...like the way people drive around here, the idea that personal space doesn't exist here, the lower sanitary standards, etc. We spend a lot of time telling our kids "It's not wrong, it's just different".

 

But bigotry? Sorry, I don't buy it. Racism "used" to be culturally acceptable in the U.S. too. And although it is far from over I thank God I don't live in the era of the Jim Crow laws.

[tex-mex]

Unfortunately, racism is a big problem here between all 3 major culture groups and the government makes it worse by actually having laws that gives one race special privileges over another. And the Indians here seem to have it the hardest. It is really sad.

:iagree: Our current generation tend to be isolated here in the states with that "special privileges" concept that it is very deeply imbedded in other cultures (i.e. class systems in India or Segregation/Jim Crow laws in the south after the Civil War). I'm sorry you had to go thru that. :grouphug:

[Corraleno]

I am trying really hard to buy into the cultural relativism idea and it works for a lot of things...But bigotry? Sorry, I don't buy it.

:iagree:

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that ugliness. :(

 

I also have an adopted/nonwhite daughter, and I've heard a few comments that made me go :blink::glare::mad: but I'm sure it's much worse for you there. I spent several weeks in Singapore once, supervising the printing of some books, and I was also given a tour of a factory over the border in Malaysia. The way the Chinese owners talked to, and about, the female Malaysian workers (who were working incredibly long hours for pitiful pay under sweatshop conditions) made me ill. :ack2:

 

Jackie

[Nakia]

I am trying really hard to buy into the cultural relativism idea and it works for a lot of things...like the way people drive around here, the idea that personal space doesn't exist here, the lower sanitary standards, etc. We spend a lot of time telling our kids "It's not wrong, it's just different".

 

But bigotry? Sorry, I don't buy it. Racism "used" to be culturally acceptable in the U.S. too. And although it is far from over I thank God I don't live in the era of the Jim Crow laws.

 

I agree Heather. Hate is hate.

[Baseball mom]

:grouphug::grouphug: Sorry you had to deal with that

[Jackie in NE]

 

You handled things gracefully. Another option, if you ever have the stamina to not slug someone over it, is to talk them around their racism and make them see how illogical their racism is. Sometimes people don't THINK, they just DO what they have experienced as the norm. Once you make them THINK, you've stopped them in their tracks and they get to stuttering. I know that some people are just impossible to talk to though.

 

And sometimes they just need a good hard pop to the jaw. My brother described someone the other day as "a *n* with a badge". My ds is African American. I can't tell you how shocked I was. My arm came up and popped him one before I knew what I was doing..... Just a Mama's protective reaction, I guess. I felt better. My brother will hopefully think next time.... Thank God I only see him once every 6 years or so.... And no, my ds was not present.

[Mejane]

 

But sometimes people, especially people from ultra-politically-correct countries such as the US, make it an issue somewhat more than it should be, if you know what I mean, and start reading serious baseless hatred into what was probably a half-joking, relatively innocuous comment pertaining one's experience with cultural differences (again, Peela's post sums it up very nicely). I've seen numerous examples of people who maybe worded something too clumsily, or said something using an unacceptable metaphor, or something along those lines - and they honestly didn't mean anything truly horrifying and bad.

 

 

:iagree: