Large Familes~ What are your favorite remarks?

[Rich with Kids]

We only have 4, but I get "Haven't you two figured out what causes this yet?" :glare:

 

I had someone make that comment at our old church. She made it really clear on several occasions that she didn't approve of our homeschooling and our family size. My answer was, "Yes. We know what causes it and (pointing to DH) he's really good at it." :D That shut her up for a bit...

[Momofeat]

When I get the "Your hands are full" comment, I try to say "Yes, and so is my heart."

 

The only problem is that I can't say it without crying. My hands and my heart truly are full, even though we only have 3. ;)

[Guest Cindie2dds]

Lol! I'd be tempted to respond "Well, he started to mind after #7, so now we keep some in the attic and rotate them out seasonally."

 

That's great! :lol:

 

 

To the OP: What a huge blessing! I wish we could have more. We struggled for so long to have the two precious angels we do. Congrats on #11!

[Momto5]

I used to get the "now you can stop now that you have your boy" comments all the time. Now I get the "perfect family, one boy and one girl" comments. I hate it, especially when I'm with someone that knows I used to have three because it's really uncomfortable since I never know how to respond.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. Your situation is a reminder for all of us to be careful in the words and judgments we make about others. We never know someone else's situation and how a casual comment can hurt.

 

I am the mom of 5 living children and when I get the comment -"Your hands must be full" - I want to shout - "Not as full as they should be."

[ilovemy6kids]

I have 7 and I thought I had heard it all until a cashier at Walmart asked how many different fathers my kids have. I just stood there and for once had no snappy comeback.

Sheri

[RoughCollie]

Lol! I'd be tempted to respond "Well, he started to mind after #7, so now we keep some in the attic and rotate them out seasonally."

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[RoughCollie]

She sort of shrugged her head over at the kids and said, "Daycare." I've had people ask me if I ran a daycare before, but no one has ever just assumed! LOL!

 

Our next door neighbors, a stone's throw away, who had 4 kids (grown) of their own, thought I had a home daycare for the first 10 years we lived in that house.

 

I could not believe it when they told me that.

[6packofun]

I haven't really had any except for one by a lady at the YMCA. We were sitting there watching our kids in some class and she asked how many kids I have. I might have only had 5 at the time (we have 6 now) and she said, "Oh, you have long hair for someone with so many kids!" ??????? It was maybe 3 inches past my shoulders but not realllly long, ya know? WEIRD. I did ask what she meant and she just said that usually moms with more than 2-3 kids decide that longer hair is a hassle and get a shorter do. OK...

[Delighted3]

I haven't read the whole thread, but I know a family with 12 children and was talking to the oldest who is almost 20 and she said that when people ask her parents if they know what causes that, they say "Yeah, and we like it.":lol:

Joy

[smrtmama]

We only have three, but I get, "You must have your hands full!" I usually reply, "Luckily, they're such great kids and I enjoy every minute."

[Kirch]

I have 7 and I thought I had heard it all until a cashier at Walmart asked how many different fathers my kids have. I just stood there and for once had no snappy comeback.

Sheri

 

You should have told her 10 and then let her do the math. Although that might cause problems if your kids heard you!

[Alphabetika]

Ok, I don't even have a large family (3) but when I was pregnant the third time an unbelievable number of people asked my if I intended to get pregnant or it was a "mistake"!!! That takes nerve!

 

:iagree: I get this all the time, presumably because we have 11 years between #2 and #3.

 

OP: Congratulations on #11!! Love the names!

Edited July 12, 2010 by Alphabetika

[mammaruss]

That's great! :lol:

 

 

To the OP: What a huge blessing! I wish we could have more. We struggled for so long to have the two precious angels we do.

 

:iagree: Same here!

 

So excited for you! Congrats on your 11th blessing!:grouphug:

[Melissa in Australia]

my MIL asked me if I knew about safe s*x ???????

I had no reply. In fact I was speechless for quite a while.

[Barry Goldwater]

I have 7 and I thought I had heard it all until a cashier at Walmart asked how many different fathers my kids have. I just stood there and for once had no snappy comeback.

Sheri

 

It's amazing what some people will say to strangers...did you give her a number?:001_smile:

 

Years ago I was behind an old man at a store, who was ranting to the obviously pregnant cashier (young & newlywed), bemoaning how expensive children are to raise and what a burden they are...this went on & on, till I finally interrupted and said, "Children aren't expensive, they are PRICELESS."

 

That shut him up, and got a 1000 Watt smile from the young lady...wish my wit was that inspired more often.:tongue_smilie:

[OnTheBrink]

Bizarrely, you get these same idiots even if you have a mix. When I was hugely pregnant with ds3, someone stopped us outside a store and said, "What? You have a boy and a girl and you're STILL having another one?" Apparently, I had satisfied "the quota" and should have no more. I was dumbfounded. I replied, "Well, I like them. You know? AS PEOPLE!"

 

 

 

I always say we stopped having kids right when it was getting easy and we knew what we were doing. I'm certain we would have had a 4th if not for a heinous, poorly timed 15 month deployment. :glare:

 

My mother takes this attitude. When I was pg with my 3rd, she said, "Why did you do that? You have a boy and a girl, your set is complete!" Then, when I miscarried that 3rd baby (a boy), she flippantly said, "Well, God certainly knows what He's doing."

 

My mother is a ______________.(for the sake of those whose children might be reading over their shoulders, I'll let the reader fill in the blank in their own minds.)

[Teachin'Mine]

Another good answer would have been no, he's very patient, and I know he wants 20, but we only seem to be able to do one at a time so far. :lol:

 

It's amazing what people will say - whether your family is large, or small. :tongue_smilie:

[stripe]

Ok, I don't even have a large family (3) but when I was pregnant the third time an unbelievable number of people asked my if I intended to get pregnant or it was a "mistake"!!! That takes nerve!

Sadly, I've had several friends tell me their pregnancies were unintended. I find it a bit strange to have several "mistakes" in a row, and even sadder to be broadcasting it to others. That being said, I had a midwife and nurse ask me repeatedly if my last pregnancy was intended, to the point that I was getting offended.

[kmacnchs]

"3 is for quitters."

 

I LOVE THAT!!!!!!:lol::lol::lol: I need to teach my oldest to say that!!!

[FaithManor]

I think we have a total and utter lack of propriety in this society! When I think of comments like this, I think of a dear friend who always wanted a large family. She and her dh were set on eight. In 23 years of marriage, she has only gotten pregnant three times on her own and two of those ended in miscarriage. They lost a set of in vitro twin girls at 19 weeks (her water broke and they held them while they died), and they had all of their other embryos implanted (that was always the plan), and none of those procedures took. She got pregnant on her own the third time and with expert care, she finally had a precious baby girl. They've NEVER used bc and now that she is nearly 43, the chances of another are nearly zero. All of these stupid, uncalled for, rude, descpicable comments would hurt her so much if she heard them.

 

Another friend, buried three still born boys (three different pregnancies). She has three children at home and would love more...can you imagine hearing that cra*p from people who don't seem to understand that it is completely inappropriate to voice every stupid thought that jumps into their heads the moment if pops up? I think that it is high time that those of us who know better, come right out and say, "That is very rude. Didn't your parents teach you anything about manners?" Maybe we can change the world one rude person at a time!

 

And yes, with four, we've had the inevitable ignorant comment too. The last one was from a medical professional, and my response was, "Well, we'd have five if my first baby hadn't died and you clearly don't care one hoot about any one else's feelings or you'd keep your opinion to yourself! Didn't you take some sort of medical ethics or Bed-side manner class in school or is it that you failed the course?" He shut up! (I probably didn't need to be that rude by I always get a little sensitive around February 22 which is the anniversary of the miscarriage and so I sometimes am unable to keep my perspective."

 

I've also told several idiots that we tried to adopt as well but were unsuccessful. That shuts them up too.

 

Faith

[mommaduck]

My mother takes this attitude. When I was pg with my 3rd, she said, "Why did you do that? You have a boy and a girl, your set is complete!" Then, when I miscarried that 3rd baby (a boy), she flippantly said, "Well, God certainly knows what He's doing."

 

My mother is a ______________.(for the sake of those whose children might be reading over their shoulders, I'll let the reader fill in the blank in their own minds.)

Oh my word! I was delivering our 6th, a premature stillborn, when dh's grandmother called my room at the hospital and told me, while in labour!, that "well, God knows how many you can afford" (we already knew the child was stillborn and so did she). I told the nurses to not allow anymore of her calls.

[FaithManor]

See, forget free speech, there should be some sort of "gag" order we can put on someone complete with duct tape and a sandwich board sign that says, "Warning....I am an utterly unfeeling, rude person."

 

Oh boy, I better get some chocolate because this whole thread makes me irate.

 

Faith

[Carrie12345]

Sadly, I've had several friends tell me their pregnancies were unintended. I find it a bit strange to have several "mistakes" in a row, and even sadder to be broadcasting it to others. That being said, I had a midwife and nurse ask me repeatedly if my last pregnancy was intended, to the point that I was getting offended.

 

My 1st, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th pregnancies have all been unintended. Before you pass judgment, you might want to know that one of them was while using 99.9-99.99% effective b/c, with no possibility of user error. We just seem to have insane fertility. My midwife and I joke that I will somehow show up pregnant at 55, after a full hysterectomy.

 

Yes, my close friends and family know. They're the ones who help me work through my shock and fear. Though, at this point, I suppose it'd be silly for us to consider any pregnancy a *surprise*, lol.

 

For me, that's what makes many comments especially difficult. While I'm excited (NOW) to have 5 children, I never expected to. It usually takes me a great deal of time to process the idea of having another child, and a big shift of long-term life goals and plans. When I finally get to the point of excitement and joy, large-family comments sometimes shake me up to an extreme, depending on exactly how stupid/rude they are.

[newlifemom]

My mother takes this attitude. When I was pg with my 3rd, she said, "Why did you do that? You have a boy and a girl, your set is complete!" Then, when I miscarried that 3rd baby (a boy), she flippantly said, "Well, God certainly knows what He's doing."

 

My mother is a ______________.(for the sake of those whose children might be reading over their shoulders, I'll let the reader fill in the blank in their own minds.)

 

Boy howdy, do I know those comments coming from a mom. :grouphug:

[stripe]

My 1st, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th pregnancies have all been unintended. Before you pass judgment, you might want to know that one of them was while using 99.9-99.99% effective b/c, with no possibility of user error.

I wouldn't pass judgment on you or on anyone. But I also find it sad to have people broadcast it casually in front of their other children. Including people who are not using any form of birth control. One gets the distinct impression from some people that the child wasn't exactly wanted. That sort of thing should be expressed very delicately.

 

Though, at this point, I suppose it'd be silly for us to consider any pregnancy a *surprise*, lol.

 

I know someone who has at least 6 children, by a variety of different spouses / partners. Each was a total shock. I think that's just....silly.

[Kimberly in IN]

 

"3 is for quitters."

 

Just want to clarify, that is what dd, 11, asked me to respond with after hearing so many negative comments about the size of our family AND more than one stupid question of why we didn't just return her and/or her sister to China :confused: :eek: Her suggestion was the type of comeback she wanted me to use. Also, she thinks I am a good mom and doesn't like it when people suggest 4 kids are too many for anybody to properly parent. (I am also a bad mom sometimes, just doesn't have anything to do w/ # of siblings she has)

 

I don't think 3 or any other number is for quitters. It is none of my business how many children couples have or don't have. I have been very clear that 4 is my magic number. I can't imagine commenting or suggesting what is correct for another family.

 

An example, our first realtor up here suggested we return one of the girls to China b/c it would be easier to find what we were looking for in a house if we only had 3 and that we would find 2 to 3 children more the norm here. We found a new realtor instead.

 

Please, please don't want anybody to think I am endorsing any particular size family.

[FaithManor]

"RETURN A CHILD TO CHINA!!!!!! RETURN A CHILD TO CHINA!!!!" Breathe Faith, breathe....in and out, in and out.

 

That's it! It should be constitutional for the decent people of this country to export the ignoramuses who make such comments to some uninhabited coral atoll in the Pacific!

 

I think I have a brain twitch now.

 

Faith

[mrsrevmeg]

Only four here but the comment that raises my hackles is how disappointed I must be that I have no girls...as if I kept having babies just to have a daughter. Oh yes, this is usually said in front of my boys!

 

Three boys here. Can't have any more. We get some people who ask when we are going to try for a girl, some who say how we must feel bad not having a girl and some asking if we wished we had a girl. :mad: Right in front of the boys. Like they are not good enough on their on. Grrrr....:cursing:

 

It is amazing how some people are so rude. When I was pregnant in between my oldest before I miscarried, someone asked if we had cable. My husband told them no. The guy proceeded to tell my husband we needed to get cable and a bigger tv set so "that would stop happening". Uh, do we want IT to stop? :banghead:

[Lorien]

Before I miscarried #5 we were standing at the checkout at Walmart and the cashier counted our children, looked at me and said, "Five! You remind me of the Duggars!" :001_huh:

 

The only time I've really gotten any unpleasant comments wasn't really upsetting as much as embarrassing. An elderly gentleman and I were both standing - strangers in a crowd - watching an impromtu concert when two of our children ran over to ask me something. He smilingly commented that he and his wife also had two children and how 2 was the perfect number/size for a family. Then #3 came over to tell me something. The old man started chuckling and then #4 ran up and asked to be picked up. By this time those around us were either smiling or chuckling too, and he started counting again. Really loudly! :blushing: I wasn't offended because I know he didn't mean anything nasty by his comments, but it was rather embarrassing!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have started to "parent" people by telling them "What you just said was extremely rude. You need to say _______________ instead or just hold your tongue." Some remarks like "You sure have your hands full!" are just small talk things that really mean nothing. Those things I ignore or just say "Yep!" It is the other remarks that are hurtful and frankly none of their business that I will put a stop to.

 

I do not have a large family (just 2). But - my kids are interracial and I get the "what are they?" comments. The "are they really yours?" comments as well "where did you get them? comments. The answers are (in order): "They are people." "Yes, they are my children." "They came from my womb". When I was infertile (before somehow becoming not - the Dr. can't explain it) I got the "Why don't you have kids" comments that kept escalating even if I told them that I couldn't have kids. I have absolutely no patience for this kind of thing.

[TXMomof4]

Only four here but the comment that raises my hackles is how disappointed I must be that I have no girls...as if I kept having babies just to have a daughter. Oh yes, this is usually said in front of my boys!

 

I have 3 girls and the youngest is a boy. Everyone asks if we kept trying for a boy. Irks me to no end.

 

On a funny note - I went to a conservative Christian college and got my degree in bio and chem. The dean on the life sciences dept is a good friend of mine and my family. My mom was visiting with him after I found out I was pg with # 4 and she made some smarty comment about us not figuring out what caused that. The dean explained that it seems like I learned my lessons pretty well! I was a 4.0 student after all! I LOL then blushed like crazy thinking this paragon of Christian men was joking about my s*x life.

[Barry Goldwater]

I have 3 girls and the youngest is a boy. Everyone asks if we kept trying for a boy. Irks me to no end.

 

On a funny note - I went to a conservative Christian college and got my degree in bio and chem. The dean on the life sciences dept is a good friend of mine and my family. My mom was visiting with him after I found out I was pg with # 4 and she made some smarty comment about us not figuring out what caused that. The dean explained that it seems like I learned my lessons pretty well! I was a 4.0 student after all! I LOL then blushed like crazy thinking this paragon of Christian men was joking about my s*x life.

 

:lol: well, even paragons know where babies come from!

 

Regarding try for the boy/girl...I hate that too, esp. trying to explain that to my 4 DDs (well, no. 4 doesn't really get it yet...too little). I just tell them that the people say dumb things because they are actually jealous of me, because I have 4 girls, love taking them out in public, and I smile all the time.:)

 

The remarks regarding all the tragedies you all have had to endure have really given me pause...my indignation is nothing compared to what you are dealing with from an insensitive world :sad:

[FlockOfSillies]

"But... I have a coupon! It says you have to buy four to get the discount!"

[FlockOfSillies]

It's perfectly safe if you're both monogamous.

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

I've been getting the comment "Your hands sure are full" since I was pregnant with #2. They were 18 months apart. I get it even more often now that I have 4 under 6. I also hear, "You must be busy" all the time. They give me a funny look when I say that bringing home #4 was easier than bringing home #2.

[Dawn in OH]

We only have 4 children, but while at the Medieval Faire this weekend we heard a lot of "Well I guess we know what you two do for fun."

Edited July 13, 2010 by Dawn in OH

[kmacnchs]

I do not have a large family (just 2). But - my kids are interracial and I get the "what are they?" comments.

 

My mil would always say, "part cocker-spaniel, part doberman" (stupid answer for stupid question) (mil is WHITE, fil is Ecuadorian)

[BlsdMama]

Then she says "Wow that's a lot of people for this planet, what does your husband think of all this? Does he mind?" I'm like WHAT?????? Just when I thought I heard them all!

 

I admit it... I instinctively looked to see if you were in Oregon. :blink:

 

Hands down, the most annoying comment is: "Don't you know what causes that?" Said with a big, cheesy grin like they are by FAR the wittiest person they personally know.

 

I feel like saying, "Seriously? That was the best you could come up with? Because I hear it EVERY time I'm in Wal-Mart. Every old guy feels the need to inquire whether or not I understand S#x leads to a baby... And honestly, it's not so funny. It's really not amusing with my 14yo dd standing there, blushing. It's less amusing with my 11yo ds. I don't think you're cute, I don't think it's hilarious... I actually find you insanely rude & obnoxious."

 

Instead, I swallow it ALL down and say, "Yes. A good marriage."

 

But, let it be said, one of these days, some day, I'm just gonna let it all blow. And it'll feel goooooooooood.

[BlsdMama]

I got the "Why don't you have kids" comments that kept escalating even if I told them that I couldn't have kids. I have absolutely no patience for this kind of thing.

 

I've seen my sil get the rudest comments about why don't they have more and they really need to "hurry up" and have more... This from people who KNOW they've struggled with infertility. Their little girl (4yo) is a miracle of the highest order and WHY would they comment.

 

We were told after we lost Hannah, "It was probably for the best?" Really? Really? Wow. That's almost like, "I'm so very, very sorry for your loss."

[Giraffe]

I've seen my sil get the rudest comments about why don't they have more and they really need to "hurry up" and have more... This from people who KNOW they've struggled with infertility. Their little girl (4yo) is a miracle of the highest order and WHY would they comment.

 

We were told after we lost Hannah, "It was probably for the best?" Really? Really? Wow. That's almost like, "I'm so very, very sorry for your loss."

 

Despite our best efforts ;), we only have one child. When people ask me when or if we're having more I just smile sweetly and say "The Lord hasn't blessed us." The smile never reaches my eyes, which are glaring. They shut up after that.

 

Everyone should just shut up about everyone else's family. My brother and SIL have 5 kids and get the large family comments all.the.time. I get the "aren't you having more" comments. Both SIL and I are sick of it.

[Heidi7Sue]

Lol! I'd be tempted to respond "Well, he started to mind after #7, so now we keep some in the attic and rotate them out seasonally."

 

:lol::rofl::smilielol5:

 

OP: Apparently some people haven't gotten the memo that there's a coming crisis in the Social Security program, and there's a similar problem in Europe. You're picking up the slack they've left, and they should be grateful!

[Sophia]

 

 

An example, our first realtor up here suggested we return one of the girls to China b/c it would be easier to find what we were looking for in a house if we only had 3 and that we would find 2 to 3 children more the norm here.

 

 

 

:001_huh:

 

How can someone be stupid enough to say something like that?!?!

Unbelievable.

[Just Another Jen]

Oh my word! I was delivering our 6th, a premature stillborn, when dh's grandmother called my room at the hospital and told me, while in labour!, that "well, God knows how many you can afford" (we already knew the child was stillborn and so did she). I told the nurses to not allow anymore of her calls.

 

 

I had almost the same thing happen. Our 6th was also stillborn.

People just don't think. I had a relative tell me she hoped I wouldn't have anymore.

On good days I think," how sad." on bad days grrrr

[silliness7]

I actually had my urologist ask me if I knew what caused that. I told him "Yeah, the same thing that causes these darn UTI's but babies are more fun!"

 

I was pretty agitated at the time struggling with urinary issues. Humph!!Doctors think they are so darn smart to figure out how to prevent babies with your Tea but don't know how to prevent UTI's with your Tea. C'mon! :001_smile:

[MommyX8]

I have 8 children. My personal favorite is when I go someplace with 5 or 6 of them and I get the "Are these ALL YOURS?" And I say no, I've got more, just not with me. The looks on faces after that comment is priceless.

[mom2agang]

Another one of my favorites is: "It must be hard raising all those kids." I always say " No it actually gets easier after number 10":lol: I love it when I only take 1/2 of my kids and I'm in town and someone will comment on how big my family is. I'm always oh no this is just 1/2 of my kids my husband is at home with the other 5 of them. Then without fail I get the "oh that's great your husband helps with the kids." my dh helps out a ton!!( I have friends really jealous!) He'll do dishes laundry clean the house get up with the kids diapers ( but he guarntees he will never change a grandkid) etc... His mind set is: These are his kids too. I take care of them and the house while he is at work and he will do it when he is home. It just gets me ticked off when they think my DH nothing but a dog in heat! And then dumps everything on me.

[Leanna Tomlinson]

We once were asked if we hadn't heard of the pill and

 

Dh leaned over with a huge smile and rubbed my prego belly and said Viagra is great!

 

:lol:

My dh loved this one!

[yellowperch]

I thought of this thread today when I was at a clamshack on the beach with my beauties. It started to rain so we all ran inside to finish our meal. Other customers did too and most of us were amused and relieved to get a little rain since we are in the middle of a heat wave, etc.

 

As I settled my kids down to eat a woman with a grouchy face leaned over and asked "are they all yours", to which I replied very happily with a touch of don't you dare say anything mean "yes! but I wish I had more" She blanched, and said "five is enough kids". I responded, "depends on the kids. I'd take a dozen more like these five" and gave my oldest a big smooch.

 

Take that crabby lady!

[nukeswife]

Bizarrely, you get these same idiots even if you have a mix. When I was hugely pregnant with ds3, someone stopped us outside a store and said, "What? You have a boy and a girl and you're STILL having another one?" Apparently, I had satisfied "the quota" and should have no more. I was dumbfounded. I replied, "Well, I like them. You know? AS PEOPLE!"

 

 

 

 

:iagree:

I got the same "you already have a boy and a girl, why do you need more" when we got pregnant with number 3. Turns out 3 was a good number for us and if we didn't move as much as we do (military) I'd have been up for a bunch more, dh is happy with 3.

I truly admire all mamas and papas out there with large families and many times wish I had a whole gaggle more.

Congrats on #11

[Forget-Me-Not]

When I was hugely pregnant with ds3, someone stopped us outside a store and said, "What? You have a boy and a girl and you're STILL having another one?" Apparently, I had satisfied "the quota" and should have no more.

 

My oldest is a boy and when we found out #2 was a girl, my OB said, "A boy and a girl! Now you can be done!" I replied that we might have one or two more and she said, "Hmm. We'll see". Uh. . . you don't get a vote lady! We're currently debating whether or not there will be a #4 :D