Do some people leave their brains at home ...

[kalanamak]

.

 

This women looked at me, laughed, and said, "

 

Honestly, she just thought she was being witty.

 

I don't hand it to brains, but upbringing. In her family, she is hilarious.

[juelle]

Oh, dear. I am so sorry you had to hear such mindless trash.

 

When I first met a young lady in our church once, her kids were over in the Sunday School building, but she told me she they were 1 and 2 years old. She was extremely svelte, and I exclaimed, 'Oh you look amazing!' She smiled and thanked me. Turns out her beautiful boys are of a different skin colour from hers, and they were adopted. And I'm the one who still squirms with embarrassment! :001_smile:

[Teachin'Mine]

Very sad. Engage mouth - think later.

[Susan in KY]

:iagree:

[sandellie4]

I get comments like that on occasion (we have adopted and foster children). Noticing the different races, one woman at a park once said something about my being busy with such a "litter." Then, without a clue that she'd said something that I found annoying, asked me about two of them in particular, two boys, one Spanish and one Caucasian. I said they were within a year of each other...she said, "Really? Why did you do THAT?" So, I explained that actually they were twins, but one of them was almost a year late. That's why he's so pale -- he was swimming around in that fluid for waaaaaay too long. She just looked at me....:lol:

[mrbmom77]

Oh. My.

 

I'm gobsmacked anyone would even think such a thing, much less say it out loud. Not picky? Racist moron. I'm so sorry you had to deal with such idiocy.

 

I'm a single mom and when my children were very small a woman at church walked up out of the blue and asked, "Honey, do you know who their fathers are?" I just walked away. Didn't figure I should jack-slap people in church.

 

***mutter, mutter, mutter***

[Haiku]

I think tomorrow I will go to this woman and say, "I felt so bad for you all day yesterday because I knew you must have been embarrassed by what you said to me. We all speak without thinking sometimes," and then smile at her and wait for her response.

 

Tara

[happyhomemaker25]

I am so the type of person who would have busted out laughing at that. Just unbelieving laughter. She would have been so embarassed! :lol:

[Murphy101]

For some stupid reason people who don't know me think that joke about the woman with 10 kids all called Leroy is appropriate to share with me. Idiots.

[Jenny in Atl]

... or do they not have them to begin with?

 

I just went to pick my kids up from day camp. Another mother started talking to me as we waited for our kids. She asked me which kids were mine. I pointed out my son and daughter, and she asked how old they are. I gave her their ages. The kids are less than a year apart and are of different races.

 

This women looked at me, laughed, and said, "You must have been busy and not overly picky!" :blink:

 

I'm not mad or anything, because I don't care what she thinks (and clearly adoption is not a familiar concept for her), but I'm just ... gobsmacked ... that someone would say something that effing stupid!

 

Tara

 

 

I would have thought she was talking about who you had relations with. :toetap05:

[LNC]

Oh - I took it like you've been busy adopting kids close in age and you weren't picky you even adopted an african american. I've had similar comments, "Was it to expensive for you to get a healthy white baby". Very rude and mean enough, but how everyone else took it is just ick, I can't believe someone would say that.

[Murphy101]

I would have thought she was talking about who you had relations with. :toetap05:

 

That's what I thought too!

[Nicole M]

Oh - I took it like you've been busy adopting kids close in age and you weren't picky you even adopted an african american. I've had similar comments, "Was it to expensive for you to get a healthy white baby". Very rude and mean enough, but how everyone else took it is just ick, I can't believe someone would say that.

 

Oh. This makes me sick. I can't believe this. This makes me want to cry. This is much worse than what the OP's woman said. And I think Kalanamak is right that she (original rude woman) thought she was being funny. But I find this heartbreaking.

[Lolly]

I would have thought she was talking about who you had relations with. :toetap05:

 

Isn't that what it was? That's what I thought it was.:confused:

[Pink Fairy]

That's what I thought too!

 

Wait, that's not what she meant? She was actually saying that about the OP's CHILDREN? Seriously, someone needs an a** whuppin'! :boxing_smiley:

[FO4UR]

I think I would have played "innocently naive" and said "Oh, I'm very picky! Most moms kinda stumble into the job...I PICKED these two special children and can't say enough good about adoption!!!" (and then just.keep.babbling.on.and.on. Let her stew in that highly uncomfortable "how do I get out of this conversation" type feeling a LONG while)

[Murphy101]

Wait, that's not what she meant? She was actually saying that about the OP's CHILDREN? Seriously, someone needs an a** whuppin'! :boxing_smiley:

 

I know!!

 

What

a

donkey.

A

brainless

donkey.

:glare:

[sheryl]

... or do they not have them to begin with?

 

I just went to pick my kids up from day camp. Another mother started talking to me as we waited for our kids. She asked me which kids were mine. I pointed out my son and daughter, and she asked how old they are. I gave her their ages. The kids are less than a year apart and are of different races.

 

This women looked at me, laughed, and said, "You must have been busy and not overly picky!" :blink:

 

I'm not mad or anything, because I don't care what she thinks (and clearly adoption is not a familiar concept for her), but I'm just ... gobsmacked ... that someone would say something that effing stupid!

 

Tara

 

Yes, I agree...to rephrase it, people just do "not" think and can be socially immature (adults here) which may end up with spoken insensitivities. There are children who entered my side of the family through the blessing of adoption. I grew up with my little cousins....and I'm closer to my cousin who is adopted than my biological cousin.

[IsabelC]

Did you wet yourself laughing, or did you slap her?

[mama2cntrykids]

I'm not suprised at that comment *at all*. Really, I'm not. When my youngest ds was about 1.5-2 yrs old I had MANY ppl tell me that he *must* be half Mexican because of his dark complection, eyes, hair ect. I even had one lady (loosely used here) that insisted that I was lying. Ummm...yeah lady, I'm lying about my son's heritage:001_huh:. His dark skin is because his bio dad is a smidgen Lebenese (sp?). Ppl just don't get it though.

 

Oh well. Stupid ppl are everywhere, right? Ok, maybe that was uncalled for. Some ppl just don't think/get it. There, that's better, lol.:grouphug:

[jazzyfizzle]

Idiots are everywhere. We are surrounded. :banghead:

[Denisemomof4]

:hurray::hurray::hurray:

 

I think tomorrow I will go to this woman and say, "I felt so bad for you all day yesterday because I knew you must have been embarrassed by what you said to me. We all speak without thinking sometimes," and then smile at her and wait for her response.

 

Tara

 

:hurray::hurray::hurray:

[jujsky]

OMG! Effing stupid is right! I can't believe someone would say that!

[LG Gone Wild]

... or do they not have them to begin with?

 

I just went to pick my kids up from day camp. Another mother started talking to me as we waited for our kids. She asked me which kids were mine. I pointed out my son and daughter, and she asked how old they are. I gave her their ages. The kids are less than a year apart and are of different races.

 

This women looked at me, laughed, and said, "You must have been busy and not overly picky!" :blink:

 

I'm not mad or anything, because I don't care what she thinks (and clearly adoption is not a familiar concept for her), but I'm just ... gobsmacked ... that someone would say something that effing stupid!

 

Tara

 

 

I don't think what she said was all that bad. I mean I would have laughed, rolled my eyes, patted her on the back, and said, "Noooo, they are adopted actually".

 

I used to get asked if I was my dad's girlfriend so rather tacky remarks don't throw me over too much.

[LG Gone Wild]

Oh. My.

 

I'm gobsmacked anyone would even think such a thing, much less say it out loud. Not picky? Racist moron. I'm so sorry you had to deal with such idiocy.

 

I'm a single mom and when my children were very small a woman at church walked up out of the blue and asked, "Honey, do you know who their fathers are?" I just walked away. Didn't figure I should jack-slap people in church.

 

***mutter, mutter, mutter***

 

ROFL...Now, that is offensive. BTW, how does one jack-slap? I would like to know.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

ROFL...Now, that is offensive. BTW, how does one jack-slap? I would like to know.

:iagree:

 

I want to know what a jack-slap is, too. I always thought it was smacking someone on the side of the head.

[littleWMN]

:lol: I can laugh like <---- b/c I also adopted two kids less than a year apart (of different races) and have heard some crazy statements. Wonders never cease to amaze me.....

[MamaT]

:lol: I can laugh like <---- b/c I also adopted two kids less than a year apart (of different races) and have heard some crazy statements. Wonders never cease to amaze me.....

 

I also have two less than a year apart, one caucasian and one african american, due to my dd being adopted. People have said some REALLY stupid things to me. I usually ignore it (but not always).

[LibraryLover]

I also have two less than a year apart, one caucasian and one african american, due to my dd being adopted. People have said some REALLY stupid things to me. I usually ignore it (but not always).

 

 

My white kid and my Asian kid are 15 months apart, and the silliest thing anyone ever said was "Are they twins?" (One was large for age, one was small for age...lol...that's all I can gather. We have been blessed).

[LibraryLover]

I also have two less than a year apart, one caucasian and one african american, due to my dd being adopted. People have said some REALLY stupid things to me. I usually ignore it (but not always).

 

 

My white kid and my Asian kid are 15 months apart, and the silliest thing anyone ever said was "Are they twins?" (One was large for age, one was small for age...lol...that's all I can gather. Othewise we have been blessed with no commentary).

[LibraryLover]

I also have two less than a year apart, one caucasian and one african american, due to my dd being adopted. People have said some REALLY stupid things to me. I usually ignore it (but not always).

 

 

My white kid and my Asian kid are 15 months apart, and the silliest thing anyone ever said was "Are they twins?" (One was large for age, one was small for age...lol...that's all I can gather. Otherwise we have been blessed with no commentary).

[MamaT]

My white kid and my Asian kid are 15 months apart, and the silliest thing anyone ever said was "Are they twins?" (One was large for age, one was small for age...lol...that's all I can gather. Otherwise we have been blessed with no commentary).

 

My family called my youngest ds and dd "the twins" until they believed they WERE twins. They are only 9 months apart. We were at a consignment shop counter once when they were about 5 and the nosy cashier said, "Is that your sister?" to my son. He replied, "We're twins." I never even commented and just left her with a strange look on her face.

[littleWMN]

Yes! Mine are caucasian and african american too and 10.5 months apart and I've gotten the twins question as well. REALLY??? :auto:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Wow. That is one of the most offensive and stupid comments I've heard in a long while. I hope she realizes how bad that was and apologizes tomorrow. What a dolt!

 

One of my sis has 3 adopted kids from India, and she gets some doozies, too, but mostly it's ignorance. Your interlocuteur was not just ignorant, but actually sounds intentionally offensive.

[Alphabetika]

Wow. So, now I won't be so taken aback when people ask me if my three girls (16, 11, 10 mos) are all from the same father. Good grief on a stick. :glare:

[Alphabetika]

I am so the type of person who would have busted out laughing at that. Just unbelieving laughter. She would have been so embarassed! :lol:

 

:iagree:

[Lizzie in Ma]

... or do they not have them to begin with?

 

I just went to pick my kids up from day camp. Another mother started talking to me as we waited for our kids. She asked me which kids were mine. I pointed out my son and daughter, and she asked how old they are. I gave her their ages. The kids are less than a year apart and are of different races.

 

This women looked at me, laughed, and said, "You must have been busy and not overly picky!" :blink:

 

I'm not mad or anything, because I don't care what she thinks (and clearly adoption is not a familiar concept for her), but I'm just ... gobsmacked ... that someone would say something that effing stupid!

 

Tara

 

You can't fix stupid. Unbelievable!

[KidsHappen]

I honestly think that we live in such a fast paced society now that people frequently say things without stopping to think it through first.

 

Here is a benign example. Recently I told the kids that if they all decided on a drive-thru restaurant, I would pay. One child said that they wanted Subway (no drive-thru) and the teen who was driving said, "Sorry can't do that because the last time I drove through there they got a ticket." The next oldest teen said, "Really?" It took her a minute to figure out why we were all laughing at her.

 

Another example, one of my brothers got another brother audio books for Christmas because he knew the first one was interested in the Harry Potter series but doesn't read very well. The second brother opened the present and then said, "Why did you get me these? You know I don't read well!" Once again, it took a few minutes for him to figure out why we were all laughing.

 

My family is not particularly stupid, they just have a habit saying things before that stop to think it through. I am constantly telling my children to stop and think about what it is they want to say before they start talking.

 

In the case you mentioned, I honestly would have started laughing and if they didn't figure out why then once I stopped laughing I would have explained to them why exactly it was funny. Of course, I do have a odd sense of humor. :001_smile:

 

Oh, and PS - I frequently leave my brain at home or misplace it entirely but I rarely talk to people so it not quite so obvious.

Edited June 18, 2010 by KidsHappen

[stripe]

This women looked at me, laughed, and said, "You must have been busy and not overly picky!" :blink:

I would have told her, "Actually, I'm extremely picky. I'm working on building the master race."

 

I have found this thread to be amusing. Then again, people seem ready and willing to believe my husband and I are of virtually every national background on earth. I mean, people from a certain country often ask if we are from their country. Snort. And we look nothing alike.

[Terabith]

Oh, dear. I am so sorry you had to hear such mindless trash.

 

When I first met a young lady in our church once, her kids were over in the Sunday School building, but she told me she they were 1 and 2 years old. She was extremely svelte, and I exclaimed, 'Oh you look amazing!' She smiled and thanked me. Turns out her beautiful boys are of a different skin colour from hers, and they were adopted. And I'm the one who still squirms with embarrassment! :001_smile:

 

Why should you squirm with embarrassment? Telling someone they look amazing, regardless of whether their toddlers are adopted or not, is high praise! I could barely find a clean shirt!

[mrbmom77]

ROFL...Now, that is offensive. BTW, how does one jack-slap? I would like to know.

 

 

:smilielol5: I had no idea - just always liked the sound of it.

 

Oh. Um, I looked it up at urban dictionary and it could be quite offensive.

 

Maybe I should just say "smack her upside the head". :D

[Haiku]

I never saw the woman today when I picked up the kids. However, another mother came up, told me that her son had talked about my kids all week and asked whether we could exchange phone numbers so the kids could get together. She asked how old they were, and I told her. She smiled at me and said, "They look like they get along very well together. I bet it's nice to have a sibling so close in age."

 

:)

 

Tara

[TravelingChris]

I am just so thankful that all of us in the family who are ADHD are also introverts and tend not to say anything much in public. Of course, we are all also smart and don't automatically think nasty thoughts about people. Even if there is something distateful about someone, I am not going to comment. (Not that there is anything distateful about adoption or even having children of more than one race (after all, divorce and remarriage is legal). But I did know one mom who did do something bad (adultery, pregnancy, and emotional abandonment of children from first marriage) and I still didn't make snarky comments to her. I just tried to be extra nice to the kids and exhusband.

[MariannNOVA]

I never saw the woman today when I picked up the kids. However, another mother came up, told me that her son had talked about my kids all week and asked whether we could exchange phone numbers so the kids could get together. She asked how old they were, and I told her. She smiled at me and said, "They look like they get along very well together. I bet it's nice to have a sibling so close in age."

 

:)

 

Tara

 

Tara: I couldn't even think of a comment to what happened to you yesterday. I am SO HAPPY for you that today there was someone in your path who was appropriate, gracious and friendly.:):grouphug:

[cin]

"You must have been busy and not overly picky!"

 

Wow, I hope she didn't really mean what she said. I wouldn't find the "busy" comment an issue and would have probably laughed but the "not overly picky" part would have raised my momma bear spirit. It's just ugly and could be overheard by the children. It's hurtful and of course totally unnecessary.

 

I would have stared at her just long enough to let her know I was appalled at what she said and then walked away.

[LG Gone Wild]

:smilielol5: I had no idea - just always liked the sound of it.

 

Oh. Um, I looked it up at urban dictionary and it could be quite offensive.

 

Maybe I should just say "smack her upside the head". :D

 

Oh darn. It just sounded classier than b!tch slap.

[SonshineLearner]

Wow. So, now I won't be so taken aback when people ask me if my three girls (16, 11, 10 mos) are all from the same father. Good grief on a stick. :glare:

 

YOU could have a GRAND Time with this!! "We're not sure about the sperm.... different eggs... but they are all mine.. Go Figure!!"

 

Or something... I like to thing "pull out your foot from your mouth... " and give people a look of "wonder" over what they say...

 

:)