Ds9 stealing food...

[Jan in SC]

I'm really trying to help, not overstep with this, I promise!

Is your son just a stressed out kid? I know that you have been going through so much in the last few years. When I get really stressed, it trickles down to my children. Maybe it's his way of giving himself some control, or just not wanting to bother you.

 

On the other hand, I have an 8 yo ds that could eat from morning until bedtime without stopping! Your son could just be hungry and lazy. (Quick sugary things are much easier to snack!)

 

ETA: What was his reason when you asked?

Edited May 17, 2010 by Jan in SC

[Denisemomof4]

He sounds a lot like my oldest dd. Before consulting a nutritionist, she was a bottomless pit (yet you can see ALL her bones she's SOOOOOO skinny!) and she was absolutely FAMISHED in the morning. She would eat constantly, grazing until lunch time and then tapering off. It was shocking to see how much she could eat, and boys definitely eat more.

 

About the lying issue, have you explained to him how it breaks down the relationship and causes you not to trust him? I've done a few silly things I read about in the past, like baking a treat or buying ice cream and getting everyone some but the kid who lied. When they questioned, I told them I didn't get them any because I thought they lied when they told me they wanted some. I remember reading about that in some book. (another is kids who constantly forget to do their chores - well I "forgot" to cook dinner one night." I honestly don't remember if it worked or not.

 

My oldest has started to lie recently, and they're usually stupid lies. I've talked until I'm blue in the face and let her know the affects lying has on our relationship. Finally I got so discouraged I made her write 200 times something (I will not lie to my parent or something similar) and she HATES it when I do this. I also grounded her to her room for the lying. I really would like to know the proper way of handling this, too, because I really don't know if I'm doing the right thing.

 

About being quiet and withdrawn, it may just be his personality. Is something bothering him? Do you think he's sad? If not, he just may be a quiet person who likes to be alone. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

The lying IS an issue. But what I've learned through my 18 years of parenting is that every concern I ever had about my kids all eventually worked out in the end. I hope that remains true with my youngest dd. She's only 7 so I don't know how things will turn out.

 

Lastly, have you thought of locking the food items? Do you have a pantry? If not, it may be harder but it can be done. I would suggest keeping all sweets out of his reach.

Edited May 17, 2010 by Denisemomof4

[Chris in VA]

Aubrey, I've read this entire thread, and I just want to give you a :grouphug: and say I think you are an awesome mom, and that I know you will figure it all out.

 

He will probably feel a giant sense of relief when you do. You have a good relationship with your kiddos, and I'm sure he feels guilty but also feels overwhelmed. It sounds to me like he's self-medicating--sugar/carbs help the body make serotonin, a calming thing.

 

I like the basket of stuff that he can eat before you get up(keep it in the fridge, and stock it every night--hard boiled eggs, if he likes them; cheese sticks; granola; "heavy-duty" muffins, for starters). Foster a sense of control over more in his world. Keep reassuring him that you will help him, especially when he feels out of control or led down a wrong path (sneaking and lying, fearing punishment, trying to meet his own needs w/o relying on you).

 

And maybe realize he does, indeed, seem to be approaching that age when he needs adventure (small ones, at first), autonomy (a little at a time) and...oh, it'd be nice if I had another A word LOL...a bigger vision, I guess. Have you read Do Hard Things? It's a little old for him, but that time is coming! Getting to the root of the problem would be important, before the "symptoms overtake the cause," making it harder to handle.

 

Here's one more :grouphug:. Wish you lived closer--I find you wise, and sure could use your perspective with my bunch o' wackos.:D

[Scuff]

Those of you eho allow your children free reign of anything in the house, how? I'd love to do that. I hate micromanaging what they eat. But they are like a swarm of locusts. I go grocery shopping and all the snacks in the house are gone the next day. Then they're legitimately hungry and there isn't anything left. Just yesterday they used half an entire ja. Of peanut butter and jelly making their own lunch. How are you able to consistantly feed them while letting them have that control?

[Sherry in OH]

Forbidden food is always more desirable. A nine year old craving sweets is normal.

 

Eating a box of sugary cereal in one sitting is common. This type of cereal is typically highly processed - white flour and sugar. Eating one serving just makes you hungrier, so you eat more, getting hungrier rather than satisfied. Soon the whole box is gone. You have an upset stomach from the sugar, etc. but remain unsatisfied. The same thing happens with potato chips.

 

Rather than limiting foods, limit where they may be eaten. Meals and snacks must be eaten at the table. The snacker must clean up after himself. When you see him eating a cupcake, do not comment about how it is unhealthy. If he eats it at the table and cleans up after himself- thank him for remembering. If he takes it to the sofa or his room, remind him that food is to be eaten at the table. The same rule should apply to ALL members of the family. Let your children see you practice mindful eating.

 

Save the lectures on healthy eating for another time. Do a lesson on nutrition. Have your children track their eating habits for a week. Let them figure out how they could improve. Do a study on household pests - mice, cockroaches, and how to prevent infestations. Try not to point fingers when you tell your children that this is why we do not eat in our rooms, the living room, etc.

 

Most likely, your son is hungry and wants immediate satisfaction. He is sneaking food because he knows you don't want him to eat those items. He feels guilting for eating them and therefore tries to hide the evidence. He may also be testing boundaries. If you refuse to make an issue of food, he will stop sneaking it. If your son does continue to sneak food and lie about it, then deal with it as you would any other type of sneaking or dishonesty.

[Pippen]

Those of you eho allow your children free reign of anything in the house, how? I'd love to do that. I hate micromanaging what they eat. But they are like a swarm of locusts. I go grocery shopping and all the snacks in the house are gone the next day. Then they're legitimately hungry and there isn't anything left. Just yesterday they used half an entire ja. Of peanut butter and jelly making their own lunch. How are you able to consistantly feed them while letting them have that control?

 

When my kids went from littles to school age, it was a shock to me how much more food they consumed.

 

I have very good hiding places for the snacks, and rotate those. :) Often I only get out enough for an after school snack.

 

One of my better hiding places was an empty cardboard case of Girl Scout Thing Mints leftover from Girl Scout Cookie sales. Once the cookies were gone, no one thought to look in the box again.

 

When they were very young I kept a tight rein, but as they get older they just naturally assumed more freedom. It was hard at first for me. I keep plenty of the foods on hand that are fair game except if it's getting close to mealtime: reduced fat peanut butter, crackers, string cheese, wheat bagels, fruits and veggies, orange juice, applesauce, yogurt, cereal, pretzels, etc. Sugar isn't taboo and my kids usually do choose a sweet option as an afterschool snack. Sometimes they'll sneak something but I don't make a big deal of it.

 

They're all a healthy weight/healthy kids. The only one who has food issues (crunchy carb craving, limited diet) has had them from a very young age due to sensory integration problems.

Edited May 17, 2010 by Pippen

[Emmy]

Not to be cheeky but.....does there always have to be some BIG HIDDEN MEANING in our kids behavior? Sometimes I feel people go looking for some deep dark thing that caused our child to do behavior X. I really think this is just a matter of childish behavior. He sneaks sugar cause he likes it. I would handle this by...

 

- not allowing him to get up before 6am. If he wakes before, he must stay in bed. Quietly.

 

- having a frank discussion about trust and lying.

 

- Putting sweets either out of reach *or* during above discussion let him know that you know how much of XYZ is left and that you'll be checking each morning to make sure he is not sneaking (until such time trust is earned again)

 

- have a self-serve breakfast option available for him so he isn't waiting to eat when he wakes up.

[Jan in SC]

Not to be cheeky but.....does there always have to be some BIG HIDDEN MEANING in our kids behavior? Sometimes I feel people go looking for some deep dark thing that caused our child to do behavior X. I really think this is just a matter of childish behavior. He sneaks sugar cause he likes it. I would handle this by...

 

- not allowing him to get up before 6am. If he wakes before, he must stay in bed. Quietly.

 

- having a frank discussion about trust and lying.

 

- Putting sweets either out of reach *or* during above discussion let him know that you know how much of XYZ is left and that you'll be checking each morning to make sure he is not sneaking (until such time trust is earned again)

 

- have a self-serve breakfast option available for him so he isn't waiting to eat when he wakes up.

 

 

 

Well, yes, but...she said that this has happened before and she has done all of the things you suggested.

[Pretty in Pink]

My oldest ds went through a phase like this when he was 8 or 9. I think, more than anything, that he did it simply because he could. It was probably some sort of control issue.

 

Or, when I was that age I did several things which I saw kids do on television and I thought to myself that this was how kids were supposed to behave (even though I knew better). Stuff like swearing behind my parents' backs and taking change from my mom's purse.

 

I remember one time inviting a friend over at the same time my mom had a friend over and then purposely sitting next to them in the living room so that I could have a conversation with my friend alongside my mother while she had a conversation with her friend. I knew it would be hard to hear one another and that it would annoy my mother to no end (and it did!) but I had seen it in a movie or something and thought it would be a sign of my maturity for some reason to sit around with my mom chatting with our friends...? I was a strange, strange girl apparently... :D

 

ETA: I went back and read some other responses. I think getting upset when other adults give him sweets is, I don't know if unfair is the word, maybe futile? If you don't want him having a cookie or whatever in SS then you're better off going directly to the teacher and saying as much. I can't imagine locking food away in my bedroom; seems a bit much to me. What about saying to ds, "You know the rules we have about candy in our home and I need you to follow those rules; however, I know that you are hungry when you wake up and you are old enough to choose your own breakfast foods, so the next time we go to the supermarket I want you to shop for some foods that will be just for you and you can have these instead of candy when you wake up in the mornings."

Edited May 17, 2010 by Pretty in Pink

[secular_mom]

I wish dh weren't asleep yet--all of this expresses really well a major part of my concern. I know he & I both have a real tendency to over-control, & I know that can create problems. Knowing that doesn't help determine how far the other direction you need to go, though. Instead, we spend *hours* second-guessing ourselves.

 

 

 

I'm not sure he's self-regulating. He eats as much as he can until someone gets up. Then he hides it. It's so frustrating, though, because there have been times when he's hidden/lied about stuff he *wouldn't* have gotten in trouble for. We've talked about trust & the relationship.

 

The thing that makes it seem more addictive is the hiding it, lying about it, climbing cabinets to find it (in the baking bin). Otoh, it could totally be 9yo boy-ness. It would be completely in my personality & dh's both to blow 9yo boy-ness completely & utterly out of proportion. Which is why I come here. :lol:

 

Maybe this is his reaction to you and dh's 'tendency' to over-control things. He's hiding it because he KNOWS you don't want him to do it, and he doesn't want to get in trouble for it. He's sneaking because he can't do it in front of you. He lies about it because MOST of the time you don't realize what he's doing and he's getting away with it so lying/sneaking/hiding is working for him. I say DON'T punish him for this, figure out what you CAN offer for his early morning grazing with little limit and either stop having the sugary stuff in the house to begin with or lock it away in your bedroom closet (but don't let him know where it is).

 

My son TELLS me to put things away that he knows he shouldn't have, because he can't resist the temptation. He's always done this. At first I thought that if he KNOWS he shouldn't do it, and SEES that there's something he shouldn't do then I should not NEED to put it out of his reach because he obviously knows better. But I meet his needs by keeping these temptations out of his way- if they are out in his path or where he can 'discover' them then I really don't blame him for it. KWIM?

It gets harder as he gets older, because I DO want him to be an independent adult and I do NOT know when that will happen for him (he's only 8, btw) because he IS so needy of 'protection' (not just from temptation, but from people who are 'toxic' for him but wouldn't be for others). I also realize that food and attention are my son's love languages, and if his dining needs are not met things go downhill fast.

 

HTH somehow.

[texasmama]

I agree that this is not "stealing". This is a child sneaking food and then attempting to cover it up by lying so he won't get in trouble and can keep eating these foods.

 

Is he dishonest in other areas? Sometimes parents overcontrol food and it becomes such a huge issue (not that you do this but it happens). I would be more concerned about why a skinny child is having to sneak food (albeit poor nutritional choices) than worrying that he has a character problem. Kids lie to cover misdeeds.

 

If he were an obese child, my answer would be different, but I would put out a basket of foods he can access "at will" and then allow him to self regulate. I know that you say that he will eat all of a batch of muffins if you allow it, which might happen at the intial stages of a child learning to listen to his own internal hunger. Barring some sort of medical issue or severe deprivation history (such as a child who has been adopted from foster care from a neglectful family in which there was never enough food), he should be able to self regulate. This is an important skill to learn because we all need it as adults. Most kids will overeat junky foods if given the option. I know mine will. I would keep the chocolate chips in the freezer in a high up place so they aren't tempting, but I wouldn't lock them up. The world is full of "chocolate chips", so to speak.:001_smile:

[LibraryLover]

Those of you eho allow your children free reign of anything in the house, how? I'd love to do that. I hate micromanaging what they eat. But they are like a swarm of locusts. I go grocery shopping and all the snacks in the house are gone the next day. Then they're legitimately hungry and there isn't anything left. Just yesterday they used half an entire ja. Of peanut butter and jelly making their own lunch. How are you able to consistantly feed them while letting them have that control?

 

I know this is not what the thread is about about, but I wanted to try and answer this question for Scuff. My kids are 17, 16, just -turned 11. My oldest, 21, is home now, but he goes to college away from home.

 

I wouldn't call it free reign, becuase I tend to put some foods out of sight. These would include packaged organic cookies or other fake health foods that are easy to pack. Newman's oreos and fig cookies, organic protein bars etc. If those are in the cabinet, they are gone pretty quickly. I tend to use these for school lunch (my 16 yr old goes to high and won't eat cafeteria food). They are out of sight, but my kids know they are there somewhere. They don't go looking because they know why they are out of sight. lol Maybe it sounds controlling, but it's more of an aid. When we go on homeschooling park days etc., it's nice to have some grab and go food.

 

The next thing is they know how to cook. So they make food. If my teen ds is hungry after school, he cooks something, often frittata or scrambled eggs with hot sauce, or even a simple grilled cheese, or tuna on lettuce. He also likes Blue Bearitos tortilla chips. He'll mash an avo, add some salsa . If he eats the whole bag, rarely, I might not get to the market for a few days and he knows that, so he tends to limit himself so there will be something the next day or two. The combo of whole grain and avo is filling, so he needs less. That starvng feeling is often what makes us crave poptarts or simple sugars. Avocado or cheese tends to make one feel satiated, not hungrier.

 

I try to only buy protein- dense food. Carbs are always whole grain etc. If one of my kids had a large-ish nut butter sandwich on whole wheat, or on a couple of apples, they are going to feel full for a long time. Same for the scrambled eggs. There isn't a lot of grazing because there is very litle simple carb -eating going on, and do think that helps my kids.

 

Breakfast foods are dense affairs; burritos, leftovers, pancakes with brown rice flour, yogurt and eggs etc. My ds ate salmon for breakfast the other day. I had grilled extra thinking my sister was coming, but I got the day wrong. Grilled salmon for breakfast is going to satisfy. lol

 

My kids also bake a couple of times a week. A scratch pumpkin bread the other day lasted only the afternoon...;) I did manage to cut 3 small slices for packed lunches the next day before it was gone. (One for dh, one for teen ds and one for my teen dd's filed trip lunch.). It wasn't $; the ingredients were all the cupboard. I am not sure how they managed to eat it all. I had one piece and was ful!! Whole wheat flour, eggs, grapseed oil and pumpkin puree. It was dense! lol

 

The last thing...and probably the most important thing is that I have a pretty high food budget. I spend between $150 and 200 week on food. So there is always something to eat. I can buy lots of apples and avos etc., and not worry. One of my daughters can eat half an avo for lunch. That's very fillling, but that is quite a few avos a week. We raise hens, so there are always plenty of eggs. The eggs we sell help pay for the feed (they are free range/pastured), and there is often a cooked chicken in the fridge to pick at. These foods are filling, protein-dense and nutritious. I couldn't afford to be vegan as easily. I also don't know what I would do if the kids decided they didn't like eggs. I could manage without the chicken, but not the eggs!

 

It's not surprising to me that WIC families are given cheese, peanut butter, tuna. These are high in protein and will fill a kid. I wish the quality of these foods was higher, and I get that tuna wouldn't work for a vegetarian, and the the cheese and tuna would not work for vegans. That has to be a huge challenge.

 

It would be much harder if I didn't have a large budget. I wold have to bake much more. I would have to worry about whether a jar of almond butter or pound of organic cheese would last until the next marketing trip. I've told my kids they are lucky to not know hunger, and that we should always remember to 'pay it back', however we can. (Donating books, giving people outgrown clothing, helping at the library etc).

 

This was a convoluted post. lol

Edited May 17, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Lolly]

Those of you eho allow your children free reign of anything in the house, how? I'd love to do that. I hate micromanaging what they eat. But they are like a swarm of locusts. I go grocery shopping and all the snacks in the house are gone the next day. Then they're legitimately hungry and there isn't anything left. Just yesterday they used half an entire ja. Of peanut butter and jelly making their own lunch. How are you able to consistantly feed them while letting them have that control?

 

I buy a lot of food. My grocery bill would possibly make you faint. They eat like a swarm of locusts. When I buy snacks, they ARE gone by the next day. (Except the ones I take to my room and hide for myself.:D) My kids can all cook and do. They make pretty much anything they want. I just ask that if it is something particularly tasty like banana bread that they bring some to me while it is hot! I keep cooked chicken breasts in the fridge. As of this morning, I have around 8 pounds of cooked hamburger meat and 3 chicken breasts ready to make quick snacks (and hopefully a dinner tomorrow night). They often will make chicken sandwiches or chicken quesadillas for a snack. We also go through tons of eggs. One dd snacks on rice pudding that she makes herself. It is one of my favorite midday pick ups too. Pretty much, I buy A LOT of food. I spend at least $400 a week on food. When it is gone, the eldest runs to the store for more!:lol:

Edited May 17, 2010 by Lolly

[Chris in VA]

Four teens=massive amts of food! lol

At least they are close together and you will be able to cut your food budget as each one leaves!

[In The Great White North]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scuff

Those of you eho allow your children free reign of anything in the house, how? I'd love to do that. I hate micromanaging what they eat. But they are like a swarm of locusts. I go grocery shopping and all the snacks in the house are gone the next day. Then they're legitimately hungry and there isn't anything left. Just yesterday they used half an entire ja. Of peanut butter and jelly making their own lunch. How are you able to consistantly feed them while letting them have that control?

 

I buy a lot of food. My grocery bill would possibly make you faint. They eat like a swarm of locusts. When I buy snacks, they ARE gone by the next day. (Except the ones I take to my room and hide for myself.:D) My kids can all cook and do. They make pretty much anything they want. I just ask that if it is something particularly tasty like banana bread that they bring some to me while it is hot! I keep cooked chicken breasts in the fridge. As of this morning, I have around 8 pounds of cooked hamburger meat and 3 chicken breasts ready to make quick snacks (and hopefully a dinner tomorrow night). They often will make chicken sandwiches or chicken quesadillas for a snack. We also go through tons of eggs. One dd snacks on rice pudding that she makes herself. It is one of my favorite midday pick ups too. Pretty much, I buy A LOT of food. I spend at least $400 a week on food. When it is gone, the eldest runs to the store for more!:lol:

 

:iagree: They eat a ton! I don't buy prepackaged snacks anymore, except for sports events where real food would spoil by the time you needed it. I buy real food and lots of it. The dc cook and bake. I will make breakfast, lunch and dinner for whomever's up, but snacks are their job!

[MelanieM]

I haven't read all the replies, so forgive me if I'm repeating something already posted...

 

When I'm really hungry I reach first for sugar. Even though I *love* fruit and veggies, I will choose something like a cookie or chocolate bar when I feel like I'm "starving". I also feel a need to eat something sweet after I wake from a nap or if I wake in the middle of the night. I think it's a blood sugar thing for me.

 

Is it possible that he's lying about the food and sneaking it because you've put restrictions on things? Kids (and adults!) can find it really difficult to have impulse control around food, and kids will lie when they don't want to disappoint their parents. Also, sometimes the more 'bad' something seems, the harder it is to then avoid it.

 

Have you asked him why he wants to eat that stuff, or how he's feeling in the morning? Have you asked for *his* suggestions around what would help? That would be my first course of action... let him brainstorm ideas for what he could eat in the morning to help satisfy him.

 

Also, I would never punish with food, personally. That can turn food into a control issue, which is the exact opposite of what you're aiming for.

 

Best of luck to you!

[LibraryLover]

LOL You beat me!

 

I spend at least $400 a week on food. When it is gone, the eldest runs to the store for more!:lol:

 

My youngest made banana bread and muffins today. The muffins are gone...and there are only 5 of us home right now. (I also take care of my sister's 4 yr old). I am hoping I might be able to cut a couple of pieces of the bread for lunches before it's gone. lol

 

If anyone wonders, I do struggle with my weight. I would like to lose at least 15 lbs. :( Probably not going to happen easily.

[Corraleno]

Sometimes I feel people go looking for some deep dark thing that caused our child to do behavior X. I really think this is just a matter of childish behavior. He sneaks sugar cause he likes it.

My DD used to occasionally sneak a cookie or piece of candy ~ that's typical childish behavior. Eating sweets uncontrollably every single morning ~ up to 15 pieces of candy at a time ~ then lying and hiding the evidence, is not typical childish behavior, it's addictive behavior.

 

I think a lot of the people here who are saying this is just "kid stuff" and no big deal have probably never dealt with a sugar addiction. For some people, sugar can act like a drug; it can have a calming effect or an exciting effect, depending on the person and the dose. IME many people with anxiety and/or depression issues self-medicate with sugar, because it can release serotonin and calm you down or release adrenalin and rev you up.

 

I can vividly remember as a child sitting in a dark kitchen around 2:00 in the morning eating a whole lemon meringue pie, knowing I would catch h*ll in the morning, but my anxiety levels were through the roof and I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin, and I knew that eating all that sugar would literally make me high. I would be spacey and relaxed (at least for an hour or two) and even though I knew I would pay for it in the morning, all I cared about at that moment was making the anxiety go away.

 

Punishing a child for something they genuinely struggle to control will just increase their anxiety and self-loathing, and exacerbate the whole problem. Suggestions to just give the child access to whatever they want and allow them to learn to "self-regulate" will also not work, any more than giving an alcoholic free access to alcohol will teach them to moderate their intake.

 

I would treat this as a medical problem, not a character issue, and approach it from 2 directions:

 

(1) providing slightly sweet but dense/chewy/filling foods that are high in protein and fat, to try to change the bingeing habit, and

 

(2) read/research/experiment with supplements to treat the cravings and the anxiety and/or depression, to try to eliminate the cause.

 

Jackie

 

ETA: Aubrey, is this child gifted by any chance? Could he have sensory issues?

[lovemyboys]

This post is hard for me to follow--I'm afraid the words are too big for me! :001_huh:

 

So here goes (am I right?)--you think I'm wanting him to fill up on carbs, thereby feeding a carb/sweet addiction. I hope not. We do sometimes have more than I'd like, but I try to swing it the other way when that happens.

 

Unlimited access & easy options for protein--when I think protein, the only thing I come up w/ is meat & eggs. So you're suggesting precooked eggs/meat that he can eat whenever? That sounds fine to me. I have noticed that he does a lot better when I remember to feed him protein in the mornings. It's easy to forget when things get crazy, though.

 

I do think the sneaking has become a habit. Our thought has been that if we eliminated sugar/carbs completely for a few weeks, that would help break the habit. Our thoughts have been to try to approach this more from a standpoint of helping him than punishing him. The addictive behavior is my biggest concern.

 

We have a ds like this. He's got a sweet tooth and he's trying to get away with more than we'd like him to eat. I limit buying those mostly. He's getting better as he's gotten older. I would remind mine of the ants and bugs that will come to find his remainders if it would help (ds here doesn't like bugs).

 

They do reach an age, about where yours is now, of requiring more protein and earlier in the day.

 

One solution I came up with is a breakfast sandwich. We make an egg (usually over medium with broken yolk -- so it doesn't squirt), cheddar or similar cheese, and sometimes bacon or ham on a toasted bagel or english muffin. We did this one day before running off to a field trip and they started requesting these.

 

I also encourage yogurt. Homemade pancakes, waffles, cold breakfast cereal don't hold them long enough without a hard-boiled egg or some dairy.

 

Your ds just may be hitting that voracious pre-teen boy stage. Mine could be a hobbit, wanting to eat every hour or two. He's also very lean. Of course, homeschooling with it's easy access to the kitchen lends itself to these habits. (I remind mine of how hungry their gradeschool counterparts must be...)

 

Good luck, Aubrey.

[Aubrey]

I'm really trying to help, not overstep with this, I promise!

Is your son just a stressed out kid? I know that you have been going through so much in the last few years. When I get really stressed, it trickles down to my children. Maybe it's his way of giving himself some control, or just not wanting to bother you.

 

On the other hand, I have an 8 yo ds that could eat from morning until bedtime without stopping! Your son could just be hungry and lazy. (Quick sugary things are much easier to snack!)

 

ETA: What was his reason when you asked?

 

I've wondered if he's stressed w/ everything that's been going on in the last few yrs. That's somewhat beyond his vocabulary right now, so...I just remind him that I'm here if he wants to talk.

 

He said it started out w/ being hungry & liking sweets--now he says it's just a habit. He's been fixing his own b'fast off & on for yrs, since he wakes up so early, but he consistently leaves huge messes, eats an entire box of cereal (instead of a bowl of it & some fruit), etc., so he loses the "privelege" & has to wait. The thing is, though--when he comes & asks for something specific, he always gets *something* & usually whatever he's asked for because I'm hugely sympathetic--I wake up starving, too.

 

And I'm totally lazy when I'm hungry, so I've thought about that, too.

 

As far as his size, he's in the 50th percentile or so for ht & wt. My dad's family ranges from about 5' to 5'6"--men & women both.

 

Last night he woke up throwing up. I guess his system's been kind-of shocked, but...that tells me that he's been eating some crazy stuff. This morning, I really wanted to back off of our no-sugar plan, but I haven't had a good chance to talk to dh, & in our passing phone conversations, he really didn't like the idea.

 

We'll talk more tonight, but in the mean time? I got up at 6 & made plain oatmeal for ds, which he loves. He had some nuts in it, baby carrots later in the day, & now a salad w/ a squeeze of lime. He's SO much his old self. He's cheerful, chattering about how delicious his food is, not at all withdrawn. I figured school was out the window today, since he was up for at least an hr last night, but he's doing it on his own, quickly.

[elegantlion]

I didn't see this brought up yet, excuse me if it has. What time does he eat dinner? Is he allowed a snack before bed? I'm the type of person who has to eat right when I get up, otherwise I'm famished. I grab my coffee and my gluten free rice bar and I'm good.

 

If he is not eating right before bed, he just may be hungry. as others have mentioned those 9 year old boys are gearing up for some serious growth spurts over the next few years. I thought I was prepared for how much my ds was going to eat :svengo: and we're only at the tip of the iceberg.

 

I also think you should at the stress factor. Because of homeschooling we spend more time with our kids and they see us more in our good and bad times. I know ds can read my moods and as another said, stress trickles down. I had an ice cream sandwich before lunch today to help me work off some stress, now I'll have to work out more...:glare:

 

Does he have any interest in cooking shows? Alton Brown would be good. Maybe someone (besides a parent) showing him how to use good food in a healthy way might encourage some better choices, although I know that sugar is good. Okay not good as in good for you, but good as in tasty.

 

Maybe you could transition from junk sugar to more natural sugar with fresh fruit. Natural applesauce with some cinnamon on top. As your eldest could you give him some ownership and options in the kitchen, so he doesn't feel like he has to be sneaking.

 

:grouphug:

[SapphireStitch]

Most everything I could think of regarding this issue has already been mentioned. But I don't think I saw any mention of what he's eating before bed. Is it possible that he's burning off his calories from supper before he goes to sleep? The reason I mention that, is that waking up so early and then going right for sweets really sounds like a response to his blood sugar being low.

 

If there are two or three hours or more between supper and bedtime, he might need a snack to help him get through the night. We eat supper at 6 most nights, and if I stay up past 10 I usually eat a handful of nuts (if I'm being virtuous) or a bowl of ice cream (more likely!) or I'll wake up at 3 or 4 and be unable to get back to sleep. I'm fairly sedentary in the evenings; I imagine a 9yo boy would move around and burn more calories between supper and bed.

 

I also wanted to say that I can relate to the issue of having to parent oneself in male form. :001_huh: My 8yo is SO much like me and yet he's very much a man-child. My husband tends to treat DS as though he's just like him. It's hard sometimes to find the right line between honoring his intentions and instincts as a father while also giving him the benefit of my understanding of DS's personality.

[Lolly]

I've wondered if he's stressed w/ everything that's been going on in the last few yrs. That's somewhat beyond his vocabulary right now, so...I just remind him that I'm here if he wants to talk.

 

He said it started out w/ being hungry & liking sweets--now he says it's just a habit. He's been fixing his own b'fast off & on for yrs, since he wakes up so early, but he consistently leaves huge messes, eats an entire box of cereal (instead of a bowl of it & some fruit), etc., so he loses the "privelege" & has to wait. The thing is, though--when he comes & asks for something specific, he always gets *something* & usually whatever he's asked for because I'm hugely sympathetic--I wake up starving, too.

 

And I'm totally lazy when I'm hungry, so I've thought about that, too.

 

As far as his size, he's in the 50th percentile or so for ht & wt. My dad's family ranges from about 5' to 5'6"--men & women both.

 

Last night he woke up throwing up. I guess his system's been kind-of shocked, but...that tells me that he's been eating some crazy stuff. This morning, I really wanted to back off of our no-sugar plan, but I haven't had a good chance to talk to dh, & in our passing phone conversations, he really didn't like the idea.

 

We'll talk more tonight, but in the mean time? I got up at 6 & made plain oatmeal for ds, which he loves. He had some nuts in it, baby carrots later in the day, & now a salad w/ a squeeze of lime. He's SO much his old self. He's cheerful, chattering about how delicious his food is, not at all withdrawn. I figured school was out the window today, since he was up for at least an hr last night, but he's doing it on his own, quickly.

 

See, I don't get it. He has had a bowl of oatmeal, carrots, and a salad today. I assume it is after lunchtime now? People's kids really eat this little amount? Mine ate far more than that when they were, oh, 9 mths old.

 

My dd15b today has had (breakfast one)a bowl of cereal and two eggs; (breakfast 2)4 pancakes, hashbrowns, an orange; (lunch)a ham and cheese sandwich with lettuce and tomato and about a cup of cantaloupe. She will be eating meal #4 in two hours. She has to come up with it on her own. I consider it a heavy snack. Then, she'll have 16 oz of chocolate milk or a large chocolate shake from McDonald's at 7:15. Dinner will be around 8:30 of roast, rice, gravy, and green beans. She might have a snack before she goes to bed. This is fairly normal for her. She is 5'8" and 110 pounds. This is how my kids eat. No, they do not have tapeworms.

[Maddysmom26]

My daughter is 9 and has gone through this sneaking food, candy etc.. She was alot worse but has gotten much better! I tried not to make a huge issue out of it, because I dont want to create a stressor or disorder for her. I just explained that she should really ask first, thats better then lying. I also said that we will compromise a snack, because she said if she asked I would say no. SO I just explained that she needs to choose healthier snacks at night etc. and eat more dinner at dinner time. Every now and then she still sneaks chocolate/candy and I think thats the sweet tooth getting to her. ( I know I do it ) ;) But best not to make a huge issue, just stating to her to please ask and we will find something to satisfy her craving, she agreed and now makes better choices for the most part ;) We also only really have candy on holidays etc.. so thats when shes found sneaking chocolate.

 

Anyone.. point being, if weight is not an issue, then I would just explain and not make a huge issue, better to address and then move on.. ;)

[Aubrey]

My DD used to occasionally sneak a cookie or piece of candy ~ that's typical childish behavior. Eating sweets uncontrollably every single morning ~ up to 15 pieces of candy at a time ~ then lying and hiding the evidence, is not typical childish behavior, it's addictive behavior.

 

I think a lot of the people here who are saying this is just "kid stuff" and no big deal have probably never dealt with a sugar addiction. For some people, sugar can act like a drug; it can have a calming effect or an exciting effect, depending on the person and the dose. IME many people with anxiety and/or depression issues self-medicate with sugar, because it can release serotonin and calm you down or release adrenalin and rev you up.

 

I can vividly remember as a child sitting in a dark kitchen around 2:00 in the morning eating a whole lemon meringue pie, knowing I would catch h*ll in the morning, but my anxiety levels were through the roof and I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin, and I knew that eating all that sugar would literally make me high. I would be spacey and relaxed (at least for an hour or two) and even though I knew I would pay for it in the morning, all I cared about at that moment was making the anxiety go away.

 

Punishing a child for something they genuinely struggle to control will just increase their anxiety and self-loathing, and exacerbate the whole problem. Suggestions to just give the child access to whatever they want and allow them to learn to "self-regulate" will also not work, any more than giving an alcoholic free access to alcohol will teach them to moderate their intake.

 

I would treat this as a medical problem, not a character issue, and approach it from 2 directions:

 

(1) providing slightly sweet but dense/chewy/filling foods that are high in protein and fat, to try to change the bingeing habit, and

 

(2) read/research/experiment with supplements to treat the cravings and the anxiety and/or depression, to try to eliminate the cause.

 

Jackie

 

ETA: Aubrey, is this child gifted by any chance? Could he have sensory issues?

 

He could have sensory issues, yes. I don't know much about them, but there are things I'm careful w/ for him. He's likely gifted.

 

The weird thing is...when he's *given* sweets, he'll sit there & eat them so. slowly. savoring. every. bite. while talking to dd, playing some imaginary game, making every savory morsel count. He's been like that since he was a toddler, which cracked me up, because it's so non-kid. The thought of him *scarfing* anything is very strange.

 

I can't remember if I said this in a pm or on this thread, but salad used to be his favorite food. He'd get excited over veggies, simply because he knew they were a good choice. He lectured his soccer coach once on good foods & tv habits, lol.

 

This morning while I was cooking his oatmeal, I reminded him of that kid. He said he'd forgotten & got very thoughtful. Today's been a *good* day, so...whether it's been the food or the pep talk, hopefully he's seeing some better ideas. I know that at his age, we can help, but he ultimately has to make these choices in his own heart. It's just hard to know how to help him do that--by standing back or stepping in.

 

For those who've mentioned the SS cookies--this is a particular situation. Dh was supposed to talk to the teacher first; he forgot. The church is way overboard w/ sweets. It makes me nuts that they'll feed the kids--for Easter it was half a dozen mini cupcakes, I think, frosted; toddlers were given bags of candy & suckers, no talking to parents or anything. If dh had walked in & ds had forgotten that we'd told him no sweets or had simply apologized, it wouldn't have been a big deal. Instead, he saw dh, slipped his cookie under the desk, kept talking to friends, made his way around the room, looking for a place to dump it.

 

We don't like telling him *no* sweets at public events--it's too hard & awkward. But right now, we'd have to keep him home for a month if we didn't want his body slammed with tons of processed junk. It's really too much when you figure the different parts of the family, church, etc. Stopping everything for a few weeks is intended to retrain his taste buds, so that he can taste just how sweet things really are & have that help in self-regulating.

 

Dh went to the store last night after talking to ds & bought a bunch of things that are specifically for him, so he's got the better food choices available & a say in what he eats. It's also leaning heavily toward stuff he can make completely on his own, to at least start to touch on the control issue.

 

There's really too much to know--about child development, nutrition, disease, plumbing, cleaning, cooking, gardening, lol--to ever feel *good* at this parenting thing. At least we get the first couple of yrs to think we know everything, though, right? :lol:

[elegantlion]

See, I don't get it. He has had a bowl of oatmeal, carrots, and a salad today. I assume it is after lunchtime now? People's kids really eat this little amount? Mine ate far more than that when they were, oh, 9 mths old.

 

My dd15b today has had (breakfast one)a bowl of cereal and two eggs; (breakfast 2)4 pancakes, hashbrowns, an orange; (lunch)a ham and cheese sandwich with lettuce and tomato and about a cup of cantaloupe. She will be eating meal #4 in two hours. She has to come up with it on her own. I consider it a heavy snack. Then, she'll have 16 oz of chocolate milk or a large chocolate shake from McDonald's at 7:15. Dinner will be around 8:30 of roast, rice, gravy, and green beans. She might have a snack before she goes to bed. This is fairly normal for her. She is 5'8" and 110 pounds. This is how my kids eat. No, they do not have tapeworms.

 

When my ds was 9 he would eat that little. Until last year he had trouble finishing a 4 piece McNugget happy meal. He would have 3 meals a day, and two small snacks. Now all of that has gone out the window and he's just hungry. :glare:

[elegantlion]

 

Dh went to the store last night after talking to ds & bought a bunch of things that are specifically for him, so he's got the better food choices available & a say in what he eats. It's also leaning heavily toward stuff he can make completely on his own, to at least start to touch on the control issue.

 

 

Father and son bonding over food. That's an awesome thing!

[Aubrey]

See, I don't get it. He has had a bowl of oatmeal, carrots, and a salad today. I assume it is after lunchtime now? People's kids really eat this little amount? Mine ate far more than that when they were, oh, 9 mths old.

 

My dd15b today has had (breakfast one)a bowl of cereal and two eggs; (breakfast 2)4 pancakes, hashbrowns, an orange; (lunch)a ham and cheese sandwich with lettuce and tomato and about a cup of cantaloupe. She will be eating meal #4 in two hours. She has to come up with it on her own. I consider it a heavy snack. Then, she'll have 16 oz of chocolate milk or a large chocolate shake from McDonald's at 7:15. Dinner will be around 8:30 of roast, rice, gravy, and green beans. She might have a snack before she goes to bed. This is fairly normal for her. She is 5'8" and 110 pounds. This is how my kids eat. No, they do not have tapeworms.

 

Well, actually, he ate 3 bowls of oatmeal w/ nuts, almost the entire bag of baby carrots, & I don't know how much salad because I've been in here on the boards for too long. But he boiled some eggs to put on his salad & added some leftover turkey. It's 1 here.

 

He's not super active--he'd rather read. Bedtime is supposed to be 9ish; dinner's supposed to be 6, but lately dinner's been later--I don't know if that's an issue or not. If it turns out I've been starving him, I'm going to feel awful. I really hope it's just a sneaky/hungry growth spurt. :001_huh:

[LibraryLover]

ETA I would recommend dense protein early and often.

 

I am not a doctor or psychologist...LOL I think that is obvious..I am trying to read here carfully, but I keep thinking he's not eating enough...at least not compared to what i am used to, and my kids are not chubby or anything.

 

My 11 yr old is very small, but she had a large plate of scrambled eggs for breakfast, half an avocado mashed on a piece of whole wheat bread, plus yogurt for lunch. Her morning snack was about a cup (maybe a little less) of full fat organic yogurt, and a banana muffin she made (which was packed with eggs and grapeseed oil, so, very filling). I also see apple cores in the compost bowl, so somebody also had apples...maybe she also had one. I sliced one for my nephew, but there are several cores.

 

My 4 yr old nephew has had two hardboiled eggs, about 2 oz (?) of cheddar cheese, a sliced apple, a banana muffin, and yogurt so far. He's not a huge eater, either, imo.

 

Sweetie, I honestly don't know what you are dealing with--behavioral, medical etc. I can't say. But I would start feeding him more, and making sure he starts his day not with cereal, but with dense protein. It could help, and if it doesn't, it probably won't hurt. Good luck! You're a thoughful mom!

Edited May 17, 2010 by LibraryLover

[RoughCollie]

Oatmeal, carrots, salad? Where is the protein?

 

Nuts, eggs, and turkey have protein, and the child ate those today.

[Lolly]

When my ds was 9 he would eat that little. Until last year he had trouble finishing a 4 piece McNugget happy meal. He would have 3 meals a day, and two small snacks. Now all of that has gone out the window and he's just hungry. :glare:

 

:lol: Ds at 9 would eat a double quarter pounder meal and be stealing his sister's fries while asking if he could have an M&M McFlurry for dessert because he was still hungry!

[LibraryLover]

Nuts, eggs, and turkey have protein, and the child ate those today.

 

 

I missed that. Thats good. I would encourage lots of protein, and perhaps, given the situation, at 2-3 hours intervals, and not start the day without a good dose of protein. Eggs instead of cereal, maye turkey and/nuts for mid- morning snack etc. It might possibly keep the sugar cravings down. I'd also check the turkey-- make sure it doesn't have brown sugar or honey etc.

Edited May 17, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

I remember stealing food around 10 years old. My mother made me keep a food journal. She promised I would not get into trouble for anything that I ate, but she wanted me to see and realize how much sugar I was eating. We had a talk about nutrition and she told me how eating that much junk can lead to obesity and many other health problems.

The Journal worked for me. Knowing that she was reading it, I didn't want to eat 5 popsicles and a bowl of ice cream for breakfast anymore.

[justamouse]

I used to wake up earlier and hit the candy on top of the fridge and shove the wrappers in my papa's chair. I'm healthy, and am not overweight. Meaning, all that sugar didn't contribute to any obesity -but I was rail thin then, too.

[LibraryLover]

I used to wake up earlier and hit the candy on top of the fridge and shove the wrappers in my papa's chair. I'm healthy, and am not overweight. Meaning, all that sugar didn't contribute to any obesity -but I was rail thin then, too.

 

 

I think that's true for a lot of folks. I don't forbid sugar, and my kids are not overwieght. They use sweetners (honey, sugar, brown sugar, rice syrup etc) when they bake. I think some people have more trouble with sugar than others. Everyone has a different metabolism, some people are prone to blood sugar highs and lows, or diabetes etc. I also notice that sugar has no negative behavior affects (I have one with iblood usgar ssues) as long as there is a good amount of protein. to go along with it. So a soda (which I rarely buy) would be a huge issue for this child, but if dc had some with baked chicken or salmon, just fi, there would be absolutely no affect on blood sugar. Of course, dc is not diabetic.

 

I do wonder if some people have less trouble with sugar, don't deal with cravings, because they eat a good amoutn of protein with it. That's the case here, maybe that's the case for you? Of course, I have seen others who have terrible sugar issues...my step father is skinny as a rail, but is prediabetic. He cannot have sugar without headaches or blood issues. One of the reasons I think he is so skinny is because he can pretty much only eat protein. Carbs mess him up. He eats a lot of food.

 

Food can be a very complicated issue, she types stating the obvious. ;)

Edited May 17, 2010 by LibraryLover

[SonshineLearner]

My raging hungry 11 yr old.... wanted to eat at 6am this morning! I'd say.... give him an "out". Give him some breakfast foods to choose from.. including what you allow for "sweets".... (fruit, honey, etc.) Course... this comes from someone who keeps a stash in my filing cabinet of "sweets" from chocolate to dried fruits.... (I can't eat fresh) and.... my daughter has little stashes of things she's eaten.... that I find all over.... And I remember sneaking those little Wilson chocolates and stuffing them in my pajama legs with the feet on them.... sneaking them out of the legs... and watching Saturday cartoons... I didn't tell my mom till a couple of years ago. (Course... I wouldn't have dared to leave evidence... and I remember looking at the stash trying to figure out how much I could take without it being noticed...) I actually think that depriving me of the "choice" helped to make me sneakier... If I had been told "6 every Saturday" I probably would have obeyed because I was pretty much a compliant obeyer....

:)

[LibraryLover]

Once upon a time, true story, a woman had two young normal-sized stepchidlren who had been pretty much eating chicken nuggets, boxed mac & cheese etc before their father married. They didn't have much taste for more at 5 and 7. She wanted to change that and she did. She rarely bought sweets. (She might buy a bag of chips every now and or a package of cookies, but she doled them out very carefully. When she bought them , they thought about them all the time, asking her if they could have them, when, just one more etc.) She didn't allow snacking. She believed that she prepared good meals in good portions (which she did) and they didn't need anything else. The children ate whatever she prepared...they were hungry. lol They learned to love her food, and that pleased her. There was fruit for lunch, dinner, an apple after school. Carrot sticks while she made dinner etc. It looked like the healthiest food on the planet and it was. But she controlled all of it. As time passed, she would find bags of Doritos in their room, cookie packs, candy wrapppers. She was afraid, so she tried to make sure they didn't have money in their pockets for junk. It was upsetting to her...they came to her wtih some cavities, no taste buds...she was scared, so she tried more control.

 

Fast- foward to these children now 28 and 30. Both are obese. One lost his comission (is that what it is called?) from the National Guard because of his weight. The other now adult is huge, the partner is huge. Their children are all pudgy. They live far away, but df has complained to me about the food the children eat; the fact they always have sippy cups filled with juice etc. Nether now -adults are diabetic. They went crazy when they left home. One told me that the first thing he did when he went into the Navy was to spend huge amount of his money on cookies, cakes, sweets, chips. He never wanted to be without Doritos etc.

 

They are good people. They were nice children. They were sneaky. They are not criminals. lol They have decent jobs, good marragies, children. But they felt deprived growing up, controlled, and set out to never be deprived or food-controlled again. All of the lovely food lovingly cooked for them didn't affect then as much as the control did. Which she did out of love....and fear for their health.

 

She looks at them today and she still cannot believe how large they are. When she brought back wedding pictures after a wedding, I didn't recognize them. She fears for them.

 

Yadda yadda. Just relating to your post Nayfies.

 

It's absolutely true that other children with the same kind of mom will not turn out to be heavy. (The children's bio mom is not heavy. She is extrememly skinny, as is their Dad.)

 

My raging hungry 11 yr old.... wanted to eat at 6am this morning! I'd say.... give him an "out". Give him some breakfast foods to choose from.. including what you allow for "sweets".... (fruit, honey, etc.) Course... this comes from someone who keeps a stash in my filing cabinet of "sweets" from chocolate to dried fruits.... (I can't eat fresh) and.... my daughter has little stashes of things she's eaten.... that I find all over.... And I remember sneaking those little Wilson chocolates and stuffing them in my pajama legs with the feet on them.... sneaking them out of the legs... and watching Saturday cartoons... I didn't tell my mom till a couple of years ago. (Course... I wouldn't have dared to leave evidence... and I remember looking at the stash trying to figure out how much I could take without it being noticed...) I actually think that depriving me of the "choice" helped to make me sneakier... If I had been told "6 every Saturday" I probably would have obeyed because I was pretty much a compliant obeyer....

:)

Edited May 18, 2010 by LibraryLover

[fairfarmhand]

One thing that helps control protions for me and gets me some protein are nuts in the shell. I cannot eat several handfuls without thinking about it because I have to shell them. So my stomach can tell me when I am full because I have to eat them slowly.

 

Perhaps having some sunflower seeds in the shell, peanuts in the shell or some other nuts for him to shell and eat first thing in the morning might help. Of course, shelling nuts IS messy, but he should be learning to clean up after himself anyway.

[Sherry in OH]

For those who've mentioned the SS cookies--this is a particular situation. Dh was supposed to talk to the teacher first; he forgot. The church is way overboard w/ sweets. It makes me nuts that they'll feed the kids--for Easter it was half a dozen mini cupcakes, I think, frosted; toddlers were given bags of candy & suckers, no talking to parents or anything. If dh had walked in & ds had forgotten that we'd told him no sweets or had simply apologized, it wouldn't have been a big deal. Instead, he saw dh, slipped his cookie under the desk, kept talking to friends, made his way around the room, looking for a place to dump it.

 

We don't like telling him *no* sweets at public events--it's too hard & awkward. But right now, we'd have to keep him home for a month if we didn't want his body slammed with tons of processed junk. It's really too much when you figure the different parts of the family, church, etc. Stopping everything for a few weeks is intended to retrain his taste buds, so that he can taste just how sweet things really are & have that help in self-regulating.

...

There's really too much to know--about child development, nutrition, disease, plumbing, cleaning, cooking, gardening, lol--to ever feel *good* at this parenting thing. At least we get the first couple of yrs to think we know everything, though, right? :lol:

 

 

You might want to talk with the Sunday School teacher or the supervisor at a time other than Sunday morning. Suggest fewer and better snacks. If possible, enlist other parents. Also, try to make sure your son has had a good breakfast on Sunday mornings. It will help balance the sugar.

 

I am not surprised that your son tried to hide the snack. Wanting to be like one's peers starts early. It is hard to say no when everyone else can have the treat.

 

Foods eaten outside the home are a problem. Foods eaten in your home can be more easily handled. If you do not want your son to eat X, don't have it in the house. Just because your children bring treats home from Sunday School or grandma, or where ever, doesn't mean they have to eat them. I regularly toss treats that I do not want my children to eat. My children are not allowed foods containing red dye 40. This means that all the Easter candy that Grandma bought for them was tossed. (Grandma does not believe in food sensitivities.) There was enough candy from other sources to satisfy my children. They ate what they wanted and after a week, I threw the remainder away.

 

I think parents are constantly walking a tight-rope. You do not want to be over-controlling but you also don't want to allow your children to develop bad habits.

[texasmama]

Perhaps you could have your son bring an alternative snack to Sunday School. We do this for my youngest dd because she has food allergies, though the nursery doesn't serve sweets, just goldfish and pretzels, still not what anyone would call "health food".

 

What about pistachio nuts in the shell? (Someone else mentioned nuts.) He can shell them and eat them. They are healthy and filling. My two boys (ages 7 and 9) can both out-eat me any day. They eat constantly and in large quantities. I have one who prefers any type of meat and protein and the other who actually prefers salad, mangos, etc...but they can both eat a LOT...shocking amounts of food. One is skinny looking (but a healthy weight) and the other is a bit more stocky (but a healthy weight). So much of body type is about genetics...if they say they are hungry, I let them eat. If I offer two healthy choices and they turn them down, I know they are not really hungry but feeling "snacky". Popcorn is good for snackiness...it is filling, has a lot of fiber can be healthy.

[StephanieZ]

My ds went through a sugar-stealing phase right around that age. I had a reward bin of little candies that he was helping himself to. . . My housekeeper finally clued me in to the stash of wrappers under hid pillow.

 

I was angry at the time. I got rid of the candy in the reward bin and reverted it to non-food treats.

 

But, honestly, in retrospect, I think I've decided that sugar is just a mighty temptation to many people, self included. And, maybe not one that is worth making into a character issue.

 

I have never been one to eat a single candy a day. I eat the bag! Dh can eat a single candy a day and have a bag last a month! Not me! If I want to avoid lots of sweets, I keep my faves out of the house. In the last 5 years or so, I've become a bit more moderate, but through my 20s I would polish off Reese's or peanut m-n-ms to the exclusion of any other food for a day or two until the bag(s) were gone. (And, no, I am not obese, I just have a serious sugar and chocoalte craving.)

 

So, I think if sugar is a really powerful lure, then it is wisest to limit what is in the house. I.e., my mom always bought a box of icecream when she shopped on Saturday. When it was gone, it was gone until next week. Even when we were teens and she was more lenient about junk in the house. . . she'd still buy a single bag of chips and/or bottle of soda and then that was it until the next week's shopping. . . There was never candy in the house unless it belonged specifically to a child (Halloween, Easter, etc.) She just didn't bring that junk in the house. I think some of us just have a very, very, hard time avoiding overindulging if it is within grasp.

 

So, I don't punish harshly or look it as a character issue when we have sweet snatching episodes. I am not happy, and I express that. . . but I do my best to just look at is as "well, practically, we can't have that in the house, so out it goes. . ."

 

Right now, none of my kids seems to be having serious sweet attacks and so I can have stuff around the house w/o too much trouble, but when one of them does have an issue (usually ds), I just get rid of that item for a while.

 

I do think it is reasonable to banish sweets for a day or two, but I'd avoid making a huge issue out of it.

[Terabith]

See, I would make the sneakiness the issue. I would say, "You know, look, we think you are old enough to determine what you eat. But, hiding the wrappers and food is just NOT okay. We'll get bugs! It's just gross. So, really, we'll just chalk this one up to a misunderstanding. But, if we find wrappers and hidden food again, we will have xxx consequence."

 

Give him permission for the sweets, but don't replenish the supplies. But don't try to eliminate him from having them outside the house. It would be very shaming for the rest of the Sunday School class to eat cookies and for him to have been forbidden to. Of course he was going to hide it! Forbidding him from having them in public really just sets it up for him to fail and get in trouble, and to feel very punished and ashamed, making him more angry and more likely to sneak.

[mcconnellboys]

My younger son has a similar morning craving for sugar. Could it be some sort of sugar imbalance (diabetes, hypo- or hyper-thyroid, etc.)?

[Teachin'Mine]

What if you make a bread pudding and have that available to him in the morning. It's sweet, but it's also nutritious - lots of eggs and milk. Another idea is egg custard. I don't see why his sugar has to be severely limited, it's the sneaking that needs to stop. I think severely limiting it might just set him up for more sneaking and some behaviors that could lead to an eating disorder down the road. Just my opinion.

 

It sounds to me that he got in the habit of having lots of different breakfasts, and that's what he's trying to do now. Habits take time to change. If your husband is up first, maybe have your son agree to wait until he's up to eat a small breakfast with him, and then he can have the usual one with you later.

[Starr]

I'm sorry there is so much sweet stuff in SS. I remember my dd's first grade class; it seemed like there were goodies every day and it made me crazy. We finally have a SS without snacks and the parents haven't said anything about it. We do have tons of stuff at coffee hour though... :tongue_smilie:

[lovemyboys]

I didn't see this brought up yet, excuse me if it has. What time does he eat dinner? Is he allowed a snack before bed?

.......

Does he have any interest in cooking shows? Alton Brown would be good. Maybe someone (besides a parent) showing him how to use good food in a healthy way might encourage some better choices, although I know that sugar is good. Okay not good as in good for you, but good as in tasty.

 

Maybe you could transition from junk sugar to more natural sugar with fresh fruit. Natural applesauce with some cinnamon on top. As your eldest could you give him some ownership and options in the kitchen, so he doesn't feel like he has to be sneaking.....

 

Excellent. My dc are much more adventurous when they have a hand in making something. They love to cook.

 

Another sweet treat that can be good is pudding, especially the cooked version with milk.

 

Ours do eat something kind of late too.

[at the beach]

Nuts, eggs, and turkey have protein, and the child ate those today.

 

And a squeeze of lime. What I noticed from his meals up to lunch--maybe he needs more fat. Yes, there's fat in the egg and nuts but other than that, he's eaten nothing that has fat, which I think can be important for kids. Healthy fat. He may not be getting enough healthy fat and this may be contributing to his hunger. For example, if he only had a handful of nuts, it's not that much IMO. Maybe adding olive oil to the salad would help, for example. Or some butter to the oatmeal. ETA: Even though he ate an entire bag of carrots, that's still not very many calories at all for a growing child. I wonder if that could be what made him throw up.

Edited May 18, 2010 by Violet