S/O of "THE TALK" thread - do you tell boys about girls bodies and girls about boys?

[Renthead Mommy]

So when you are having 'the talk(s)' with your kids, do you tell them about what happens to the opposite sex as well?

 

I think boys need to know about and understand periods and everything that goes on with girls as well as girls with boys.

 

So do you tell them, or keep it strictly to their gender?

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

My 9 and 5 year old know some details already. I have a 21 month old and they both had lots of questions when I was pregnant.

[BamaTanya]

They have 2 parents who have the desire to spend loving time alone. The children are in different stages of development and are taught about differences, puberty, privacy, touch, etc. They have access to my pregnancy books (including drawings and photographs). Their questions are answered honestly according to their maturity.

 

Yes, I believe boys and girls need to know about each other. Even if they didn't have opposite gender siblings, I would want to educate them about what maturing into adulthood means, both physically and socially. I want them to know how they are being prepared for adult responsibilities, for work, for marriage, for parenthood.

[Heather in WI]

I think boys need to know about and understand periods and everything that goes on with girls as well as girls with boys.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I think it absolutely vital that my boys understand this.

 

I went to public schools and had "sex ed" every year that it was offered, with all that that entails. Still, although they taught us a lot about sex & birth control, I never really understood my body & fertility cycle until I was an adult looking into natural family planning.

 

I want all of my boys to have a solid understanding of this ... at an age appropriate level, of course. :-)

[smrtmama]

Yes, we have talked about the female anatomy and the physical roles in reproduction with boys, because they have a baby sisters and asked a lot of questions during my pregnancy. I've mentioned menstruation a few times, but haven't described it in deep detail (they're 9 and 3.5).

[dirty ethel rackham]

Oh, I hate these threads because I always feel so guilty when I read them. I had always planned to just talk in little bits, answering their questions as they came up. My oldest loved to watch nature shows. Discovery channel was his hands down favorite. He loved to draw and was quite good. At 5, he could draw better than me and he went through a phase of drawing animals mating :D. That was his favorite artistic subject (or should I say, obsession) for several months. I am sure I have posted before about our one-and-only plane trip and my son's doodle pad. Also, I was a childbirth educator and he saw many of my birth videos. He asked lots of questions, mostly about animals. He is also a voracious reader and read the many science books we had around. Well, when I got pregnant with dd, he was six and all the questions stopped. I thought he would have wanted to be at the birth (yes, I would have welcomed him at our home birth.) I was surprised when he refused. I think he was starting to have a sense of modesty as well as I think he figured some things out. I knew it was only a matter of time before he applied his extensive knowledge of animal reproduction to humans.

 

Since ds stopped asking me questions, I told dh that he needed to step up to the plate and start having conversations with ds. For years, I assumed it was happening. Well, when ds was 14, he admitted to me that "it never came up." I was furious that dh dropped the ball because I knew that me talking to him would have been very awkward to him. I should have known because dh is very shy on discussing that stuff with me. Well, anyway, I just started to make sure we had books lying around that talked about things because I knew that he would read them. I also knew that my two boys would be talking on their own. Both my boys are very close and talk all the time in their room when they have gone to bed. They, of course, never want us to know what they are talking about.

 

So, any advice here on how to make sure my boys have filled in all the blanks without really embarrassing them more? Unfortunately, I can't trust dh with this because of his passive-aggressive juvenile fear of doing this. (Dh has lots of great qualities, but being an open communicator on uncomfortable subjects is not his strength.)

 

BTW, with dd, things are different. She is with me alot and is very familiar with what she needs to know in age appropriate terms. We have recently discussed menstruation and I will hold off on the details of procreation for a couple years, provided she does not read about it in the many science books we have around here.

 

Tell me I am not a total loser for being such a chicken on this. Tell me I haven't screwed up my sons. Tell me that they won't be like their dad in this respect, for that would be doing their future spouses a disservice. Also, what books can I have lying around the house that will explain some of the female stuff in a scientific.

[dragons in the flower bed]

I don't think we've had a talk, or will. The books my kids have read on the subject cover both genders. I don't know if they need to know, but I believe they benefit from understanding a major part of the biology of 50% of their peers.

[dragons in the flower bed]

Tell me that they won't be like their dad in this respect, for that would be doing their future spouses a disservice. Also, what books can I have lying around the house that will explain some of the female stuff in a scientific.

 

You could just get the books on female puberty that are meant for young women. They might read Woman: An Intimate Geography. It might be more than you want them to know.

 

As for them being like their dad... Maybe not, since they talk to each other. It is hard to tell how they'll be with a spouse. My younger children have talked to their 23yo brother and sister-in-law about sexuality, but are not thrilled when me or the daddio bring it up.

 

Even if they're uncomfortable talking back, talking to them about it, gently, may help them be more comfortable with their spouses later. My mom and dad talk to me about it, and I clam up and change the subject. But I have no problems communicating with my spouse and I'm pretty sure that's because my parents modeled an okayness about talking about it. I didn't choose to act on that okayness with them, but I have in other relationships.

[katilac]

Oh, I hate these threads because I always feel so guilty when I read them. I had always planned to just talk in little bits, answering their questions as they came up. My oldest loved to <snip> Tell me I am not a total loser for being such a chicken on this. Tell me I haven't screwed up my sons. Tell me that they won't be like their dad in this respect, for that would be doing their future spouses a disservice. Also, what books can I have lying around the house that will explain some of the female stuff in a scientific.

 

You're not a total loser. Good job on strewing the books. At this point, I would want to be a bit more forward than simply hoping they read the books. I would take a deep breath, walk up to him with book in hand, and say, "I know you've read about a lot of this, but this book covers some topics really well, and I'd like you to read it. Do you want to do it together or on your own? On your own, fine. Go ahead and read it, and just come to me if you have any questions."

 

Another thing you might do is tell him that he can always write you a note if it's an awkward question. Tell him you will answer the note and then pretend it never happened, lol. I did this with my girls, "I'm always happy to talk to you, but I know it's a bit weird sometimes. You can always write me a note if the question is just too embarrassing!" They've never done it yet, tho'.

 

Please don't ASSUME your sons won't want to talk to you. Just be straighforward and available, and maybe a little humorous if that's your style(Dude, I know it's awkward and really, I'm embarrassed myself, but I'm always happy to talk with you. We just won't look at each other, how's that? :D ). I know it's easier with same gender kids, but it still ain't EASY, y'know? I've been pretty stunned by some of the questions my kids have asked, on topics I assumed they would not approach me about at all, or by note if they did. Nope, they just come out and ask, at the very weirdes of times, lol! So don't indicate in any way to your sons that you 'know' they won't want to talk to you, because they just might.

[Ravin]

We talk about both sexes. Casual nudity is practiced within our household, plus I babysit boys and DD and said boys are below the age where the "privacy while peeing" notion has really stuck, at least in our family or theirs.

 

SIL's son, a bit older than my DD, has evidently never seen what a girl or woman looks like without clothes. That makes no sense to me. Innocence and ignorance aren't the same thing.

[Tree House Academy]

Yes. My older son has a book that details the changes for both sexes.

[Desert Rat]

I have 2 boys, and I had the "talk" with my oldest son 6 months ago. My dh's family hits puberty very early and I wanted him to be prepared for changes. At that time we were covering reproduction in biology and went ahead and covered female anatomy and what puberty is for girls. He looked a bit embarassed, but handled the information just fine.

I used the book Where Do I Come From? by Peter Mayle. It's very explicit but written for younger children and covers the topic very well, IMO. My parents read the same book to me when I was learning about puberty and s*x.

[BikeBookBread]

Age appropriately, yes. Like I said in the other forum, innocence has NOTHING to do with keeping your children naive.

 

My 6 and 4 year old girls have known that boys and girls are different from a very young age. They know the real anatomical terms...not made-up names. Heaven forbid, should they ever had to report an incident, they NEED to know how to report what happened. (DH had a case where the child didn't know right from left and it made the investigation VERY, VERY difficult...)

[6packofun]

Yes, to a degree. When our oldest dd started her period, I explained what that is briefly to her brothers and also told them to give her a little grace as she learned about, um, proper hygiene, etc. during this time. That may sound like TMI for some, but I didn't want them to be grossed out and I'd like to raise young men who are aware of how women's bodies work and not act like nimrods towards their wives.

 

I explain to the girls about boys' bodies a bit when they see me changing a little brother's diaper in the morning and he's, well, you know. LOL!!! They were obviously wondering what in the world was going on so I told them matter-of-factly. Doing this helps the info to build so that when we have the sex talk it isn't a horrifying ordeal. LOL

 

I also think it's important not to put down either gender in any subtle way when talking about this stuff. I've known moms who tell their boys that girls need extra special care during their period and need to be handled with kid gloves or shouldn't have to do any work because it's their "weak" time, etc. UGH! And vice versa, we shouldn't be jokingly telling our girls that boys will become ruled by their private parts or think with their ____'s--yes, I've heard that one, too! Our bodies are glorious creations and not to be made fun of or looked at as a weakness in any way, IMO. Just throwing that out there. I doubt that most ladies here would dream of saying those kinds of things! lol

[Parrothead]

SIL's son, a bit older than my DD, has evidently never seen what a girl or woman looks like without clothes. That makes no sense to me. Innocence and ignorance aren't the same thing.

How old is your dd? We do not do casual nudity, so at 10 dd has not seen a fully nude male.

[Wyndie]

 

Tell me I am not a total loser for being such a chicken on this. Tell me I haven't screwed up my sons. Tell me that they won't be like their dad in this respect, for that would be doing their future spouses a disservice. Also, what books can I have lying around the house that will explain some of the female stuff in a scientific.

 

 

If it helps any, I believe I may have married your dh's clone. :D I am preparing myself to have the talk with my ds as dh has emphatically stated he will not. Once I tried to hand him a simple question my son had about his own body and he totally botched it. lol My son came to me later and said "Daddy said _________ & I have no idea what that means" Much as I would prefer my dh do the talking it is my job to see it gets done. So take hope, not all boys get the talk from their dads anyway. ;)

[JenneinCA]

I did, but not on purpose.

 

I asked my dd11 if she has her 'supplies' with her one day while we were in the car. My ds9 had a whole bunch of questions about what those 'supplies' were and how they were used and why they were used. By the time we got to where we were going he knew what pads, tampons and periods were. And since ds5 was in the car too, he heard the whole conversation.

 

It wasn't exactly what I had envisioned but it worked.

[LittleIzumi]

Dd is already curious about the opposite sex at 4. I have a medical terminology/anatomy book that we pull out. No mystery, just facts and medical drawings. She loves it and it saves dh from lots of questions :tongue_smilie:. All of our kids will know about stuff like breastfeeding and periods and all that. It's just part of life!

[hillfarm]

We live on a farm, so dd grew up around conversations about many aspects of animal husbandry, including breeding, genetics, artificial insemination, birthing, neutering, etc. It wasn't much of a stretch for her to figure out the human mating process. From the very beginning she has been aware of the differences and specifics of both males and females.

 

However, when I was young, my parents did not give us a Talk. If they left reading material around, I missed it. The summer I came home from my freshman year of college, my little brother was just finishing his freshman year of high school. I sat him down and gave him the Talk. I assumed he knew most of the physical stuff, but I covered it briefly anyway. But I really filled him in on the part feminine wiles played in the whole drama. I had been appalled to see how some of the girls in my dorm had carried on during the school year and I was bound and determined that my brother would not be innocently caught up in their traps.

 

Books may be great, but IMO, there's no substitute for actually bringing up the subject. Preface it by letting your dc know that you are a bit uncomfortable but love them enough to work through that and to address a subject of such great importance. I made a bit of a joke about it the first time, telling dd that I was uncomfortable and that I had two damp cloths for our foreheads standing by in case either of us passed out from embarrassment, but this was just one of those things I had to suck it up and do as a mommy. She laughed, we talked, and from then on if she has a question, she asks first if I am sitting down and reminds me to breathe deeply should I feel faint during the conversation. She is 11. We joke about feeling uncomfortable, not about the topic at hand, which seems to make us more comfortable and facilitates good and honest communication.

Edited February 26, 2010 by hillfarm

[JeneralMom]

Absolutely, girls need to know about boys and vice versa.

 

My kids see both DH and I naked all the time, and have asked some questions, which were answered truthfully and age-appropriate. I was furious when DS6 came home from his one term at Kindergarten and started referring to his penis as a "wienie". Had to set that straight right away!!

 

They also know where babies come from, how they get there, and how they come out (they were at my home birth), so there is little mystery left. I also had to explain about menstruation because, although I have not had a period since Oct.2002 (I have either been pg or nursing since then), the walked in on me post-partum all the time so I explained about it so they wouldn't be frightened.

 

However, I will say, my kids are really interested in all things biological so want all this knowledge. It is not something I force on them.

[Garga]

Yup, they need to know about each other. Maybe not right away, but eventually. It would be cruel to toss a young person out there without knowing the basics of how the human body works.

 

If you keep him/her sheltered right up until marriage, what a moron they'll look like if they don't understand what's happening to their spouse. I've heard of college age boys thinking that a woman's period lasts only an hour or so. Um...won't he be shocked when his wife is bleeding for days and days on end???

 

It's just cruel not to give them a heads up.

 

And I won't even tell you how I thought a man's body was supposed to look when he was ready for tea. It's too embarrassing for me to even write it. I was shocked on my wedding night. I wish I'd known what to expect.

[Audrey]

So when you are having 'the talk(s)' with your kids, do you tell them about what happens to the opposite sex as well?

 

I think boys need to know about and understand periods and everything that goes on with girls as well as girls with boys.

 

So do you tell them, or keep it strictly to their gender?

 

 

Yes. My ds (10yo) knows all about what to expect from puberty for himself as well as what girls go through -- including the how and why of menstruation. He also knows all the basics of reproduction. I would consider it a disservice to him as a developing young man not to know these things. I scoff heartily at the idea that women and their bodily functions should be some "great mystery." :rolleyes:

[Rosie_0801]

My dad was never taught about periods and such; my Mum had to teach him! Even now, if he is eavesdropping on one of those sorts of conversations between my sister and I, he still finds it educational! You'd think a 50 year old guy who was married for 20 years would know as much as there is to know about periods without having had the experience directly... We can't expect them to take our PMS seriously if they don't understand what is going on. :)

 

Rosie

[TeacherZee]

So, any advice here on how to make sure my boys have filled in all the blanks without really embarrassing them more? Unfortunately, I can't trust dh with this because of his passive-aggressive juvenile fear of doing this. (Dh has lots of great qualities, but being an open communicator on uncomfortable subjects is not his strength.)

 

(...)

 

Tell me I am not a total loser for being such a chicken on this. Tell me I haven't screwed up my sons. Tell me that they won't be like their dad in this respect, for that would be doing their future spouses a disservice. Also, what books can I have lying around the house that will explain some of the female stuff in a scientific.

 

Not a total looser at all:grouphug:

 

I think it is time for a long car ride. Just you and DS. Tell him beforehand that you WILL be talking about it so he doesn't feel ambushed. Car rides are great because you don't have to look at each other while you talk. Maybe have a fun treat at the other end.

[bookfiend]

It will be just another part of the discussion when we do human anatomy next year. Your comfort level will be their comfort level.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

So when you are having 'the talk(s)' with your kids, do you tell them about what happens to the opposite sex as well?

 

I think boys need to know about and understand periods and everything that goes on with girls as well as girls with boys.

 

So do you tell them, or keep it strictly to their gender?

 

 

I have told both my kids about both genders' bodies, and how they function, ever since first grade, when we studied the human body for the first time.

[Ravin]

How old is your dd? We do not do casual nudity, so at 10 dd has not seen a fully nude male.

 

She's six and in first grade; and even if she hadn't seen her father, the group potty breaks in preschool (and occasionally up to now seeing the 3 yo I babysit pee, etc.), seeing her baby brother's diaper changes... and so on, there have been plenty of opportunities for her to grok that boys and girls are different. SIL's son is an only, wasn't around other kids much until K, and evidently she's always managed to go pee by herself! (and didn't breastfeed).

[stripe]

I think they should understand the other's basic anatomy, as well as their own. Doesn't seem smart for men / boys not to understand where babies come from. And I've met almost no females who seem to understand their own bodies.

 

In high school, I unintentionally overheard one supposedly experienced boy revealing his complete lack of familiarity / knowledge of female anatomy to the boy next to him. When he realized I overheard his question, he turned a rather dark shade of scarlet.

[Parrothead]

She's six and in first grade; and even if she hadn't seen her father, the group potty breaks in preschool (and occasionally up to now seeing the 3 yo I babysit pee, etc.), seeing her baby brother's diaper changes... and so on, there have been plenty of opportunities for her to grok that boys and girls are different. SIL's son is an only, wasn't around other kids much until K, and evidently she's always managed to go pee by herself! (and didn't breastfeed).

Dd has seen baby boys, and knows there is a difference. But she has never seen an adult male nude. And I really do not think there is any reason to. How can we teach our children that their private parts are private if they are exposing theirs and seeing other family members exposed? Seems like sending mixed messages, don't let anyone touch, but it is okay for someone to see.

[Renthead Mommy]

Dd has seen baby boys, and knows there is a difference. But she has never seen an adult male nude. And I really do not think there is any reason to. How can we teach our children that their private parts are private if they are exposing theirs and seeing other family members exposed? Seems like sending mixed messages, don't let anyone touch, but it is okay for someone to see.

 

 

Do you not go to any museums or look at any classic art?

 

Michelangelo's David? Sistine Chapel? Botticelli? Any one of numerous other classic works of art?

[ereks mom]

So when you are having 'the talk(s)' with your kids, do you tell them about what happens to the opposite sex as well?

 

I think boys need to know about and understand periods and everything that goes on with girls as well as girls with boys.

 

So do you tell them, or keep it strictly to their gender?

 

The children's librarian at our public library has a shelf in her office where she keeps all kinds of books on the topic of puberty. Rather than putting them out on the shelves for all the kids to ogle, she allows the parents to come into her office and select the books they would like to use for their children. When each of my children was in 5th grade, I chose several of those books specifically for the child, and we read and discussed the information I thought my kids needed and were ready for. My ds learned all about his own body and also about girls' bodies, and my dd learned all about her own body and also about boys' bodies.

[Parrothead]

Do you not go to any museums or look at any classic art?

 

Michelangelo's David? Sistine Chapel? Botticelli? Any one of numerous other classic works of art?

No. I've never lived anywhere near a museum that was not some type of agricultural thing. We did go to the Smithsonian natural science museum, but I don't remember anything that would qualify as a nude there.

 

We do have art books. I've even got The Big Book of How to Draw the Figure on dd school shelf with her art texts. The only drawing of a male nude which includes the lower extremities is on the back cover of the book. It is a pen and ink drawing which shows really nothing.

 

But I do not consider that in the same category of dh or any other male relative nude in front of dd. For me it all goes back to modesty and not sharing what is private either with touch or looks.

 

How do you differentiate with your dc that it is okay for mommy and/or daddy to be nude in front of them but not grandpa, auntie, or the neighbor?

[HRAAB]

How old is your dd? We do not do casual nudity, so at 10 dd has not seen a fully nude male.

 

When my oldest was about 7 or so she loved to copy paintings. She did a very detailed one of Michelangelo's David. When I didn't hang it up with her other drawings, her feelings were quite hurt - so up it went with the others. She was very proud of it. I'd forgotten all about that until just now.

[Karen in CO]

How old is your dd? We do not do casual nudity, so at 10 dd has not seen a fully nude male.

 

I think the kids need to know the anatomy and the biology, but I don't think that they have to see a full-adult nude. That is a whole different matter of modesty and such. I don't think people should glue their science encyclopedia pages together or cut the pictures of classic sculptures and paintings out of their art books and hide nursing mothers in dark bathrooms, but seeing adults nude is different. There is one of those fine lines there that leave plenty of room for values and modesty.

[Parrothead]

I think the kids need to know the anatomy and the biology, but I don't think that they have to see a full-adult nude. That is a whole different matter of modesty and such. I don't think people should glue their science encyclopedia pages together or cut the pictures of classic sculptures and paintings out of their art books and hide nursing mothers in dark bathrooms, but seeing adults nude is different. There is one of those fine lines there that leave plenty of room for values and modesty.

We have the science books, the one art book, and a friend that nurses her babies right out in front of everyone. Dd knows that the male half of our species is different and knows the names of the parts. She knows the names of her parts and what to expect when her cycle starts. We simply do not do nudity of opposite sex.

[Karen in CO]

Tell me I am not a total loser for being such a chicken on this. Tell me I haven't screwed up my sons. Tell me that they won't be like their dad in this respect, for that would be doing their future spouses a disservice. Also, what books can I have lying around the house that will explain some of the female stuff in a scientific.

Last month at dinner, my dd9 asked me to tell her exactly how a sperm gets to an egg. I was terribly uncomfortable although I've been through this with my ds. My dh just chuckled and offered no help. I've been researching this and trying to figure out what I wanted to tell her and how I wanted to say it, and I finally came up with a book for me . It is to help me and dh talk through our values on all of the issues related to this so that we can have all of the talks with our kids not just do one big TALK like my mother did. We also watched a Nova program called life's greatest miracle. That was very good - watch it with your hubby then watch it with your kids.

 

btw - my hubby didn't talk to our son either, I had to do that. :001_huh:

[Parrothead]

Thanks Karen. I'll look into those.

 

It was funny when I told her about how babies are made. I'd told her a couple of days before about her period and why she will have it. I'd been battling the insomnia back like I am now and she was having a special night in my bed with me. She got me good, and asked how. I have vague recollections about telling her everything up to how the sperm get to the egg. There is no telling what she got from that so I will have to have another conversation with her.

[smilesonly]

Yes we do. I have read the same series of books that discusses "the talk" to both my dc, starting when they were about 3-4yo. Each book gives just the right amount of information for the age. If my dc have wanted more info, either I or dh have provided it.

[Laura Corin]

I tell my boys about girls and they have books that cover both. I agree that this is important.

 

Laura

[keptwoman]

Yes, they get info on both sexes.

 

We talk about both sexes. Casual nudity is practiced within our household, plus I babysit boys and DD and said boys are below the age where the "privacy while peeing" notion has really stuck, at least in our family or theirs.

 

SIL's son, a bit older than my DD, has evidently never seen what a girl or woman looks like without clothes. That makes no sense to me. Innocence and ignorance aren't the same thing.

I remember vividly a time in school when I was 9. A young girl in my class stood up at morning talk and told us all how she saw her Daddy's doooooodle, peeking through the bedroom door when he was getting changed. I can remember thinking "so what, big deal" I can still remember which girl it was :lol:

 

We are also a casual nude family, as was mine (if you hadn't guessed already) I don't think that seeing parents nude leads children to think it's OK to see other adults nude. When the children were quite young we started talking about sensible modesty when around non family members. And I can remember similar in my home when as a child it was suggested to me that I change in my room instead of the living room (by the fire) when we had visitors. As far as their modesty is concerned, it's what they are comfortable with, if they want to run around starkers so be it. As they get older, they choose to cover up. As the boys have aged and may feel awkward about me naked, I warn them if they are about to walk into the bathroom. I'm happy that they have seen normal naked bodies of the opposite sex and will not hold up their future partners to the impossible standards of the glossy magazines.

 

However, when I was young, my parents did not give us a Talk. If they left reading material around, I missed it. The summer I came home from my freshman year of college, my little brother was just finishing his freshman year of high school. I sat him down and gave him the Talk. I assumed he knew most of the physical stuff, but I covered it briefly anyway. But I really filled him in on the part feminine wiles played in the whole drama. I had been appalled to see how some of the girls in my dorm had carried on during the school year and I was bound and determined that my brother would not be innocently caught up in their traps.

You know this is a good point. And the boys have their own lines which they use to try to pressure girls which are worth discussing too.

[stripe]

Dd has seen baby boys, and knows there is a difference. But she has never seen an adult male nude. And I really do not think there is any reason to.

I am not sure there is any reason you should. At this point, especially, I'd think it would be uncomfortable for all concerned; it'd be different if she had taken baths with her father at age 2 or walked in while he was dressing or something like that. It's another thing entirely to orchestrate a "viewing."

 

The anatomy of a young boy is structurally similar to the anatomy of an adult male, except for things like body hair and the basic differences between a child and adult (like muscle development), aside from the effect of arousal, and I have to say, the idea of purposely exposing a child to an aroused adult male is not something I think is appropriate at all. So if she's seen a male child, I think it is a more appropriate way of casually being familiar with the concept of male anatomy, but if you want her to get some visuals, I think the books would give plenty of info. There are a few very descriptive pages in The Way We Work by David Macaulay, incidentally, with very clear line drawings of the relevant organs (rather than a person).

 

As to Greek nudes, I think I got the wrong impression entirely from them.

[JeneralMom]

It's another thing entirely to orchestrate a "viewing."

 

The anatomy of a young boy is structurally similar to the anatomy of an adult male, except for things like body hair and the basic differences between a child and adult (like muscle development), aside from the effect of arousal, and I have to say, the idea of purposely exposing a child to an aroused adult male is not something I think is appropriate at all.

 

 

I do not think anyone was suggesting purposely exposing a child to an aroused male. I have been talking about my children casually being in the room while DH and I dress, bathe, or use the bathroom. I also think children know the difference between seeing their siblings/parents nude and some stranger exposing themselves to them. In my home, private parts mean the parts that I choose to whom I show them, not something that I absolutely, at all costs, keep hidden.

[stripe]

What I am saying is that if this hasn't been a part of your lifestyle, it might be awkward to introduce it now. I agree that there are important differences in environment that make certain things radically inappropriate and others more benign.

 

I knew a lady who had boys one year apart and they had never (apparently) seen anyone else nude -- including each other -- and was horrified when a friend changed her son's diaper in front of them. I personally thought this was excessive, but I didn't think I had a right to tell her what to do. I don't care if my kids see naked babies, myself.

 

My question is, would be the perceived benefit of seeing a naked father or other adult male versus seeing a naked brother during a diaper change or bath? I am just curious, if the point is not to understand sexual arousal (which I never thought anyone on here would seek out, by the way).

 

As a follow up, how much of a visual would be necessary for a young boy to see of his mother, considering that female parts are more hidden. Is just seeing her ... hair and a breast enough to really understand the female structure? Technically, I would say, not really.

[Parrothead]

I am not sure there is any reason you should. At this point, especially, I'd think it would be uncomfortable for all concerned; it'd be different if she had taken baths with her father at age 2 or walked in while he was dressing or something like that. It's another thing entirely to orchestrate a "viewing."

 

The anatomy of a young boy is structurally similar to the anatomy of an adult male, except for things like body hair and the basic differences between a child and adult (like muscle development), aside from the effect of arousal, and I have to say, the idea of purposely exposing a child to an aroused adult male is not something I think is appropriate at all. So if she's seen a male child, I think it is a more appropriate way of casually being familiar with the concept of male anatomy, but if you want her to get some visuals, I think the books would give plenty of info. There are a few very descriptive pages in The Way We Work by David Macaulay, incidentally, with very clear line drawings of the relevant organs (rather than a person).

 

As to Greek nudes, I think I got the wrong impression entirely from them.

I'm not really looking for her to have a viewing of her daddy or any other boy or man.

 

All I was doing was trying to explain our views on why we do not have causal family nudity. I was surprised that so many people participate in this, others were surprised that we do not.

 

Having a viewing would really be counter productive to our raising dd. And goes against our views on modesty. And having viewing of an aroused man seems like sexual abuse to me.