Has anyone considered sending their kids to school due to financial considerations?

[Erica in PA]

I accidentally deleted my OP here, sorry! My basic question was, "Would you be willing to live in an apartment the entire time you were raising children, and live at a near-poverty level the whole time, so that you could homeschool? Or at some point, when all of your children were school-aged, would you consider sending them to school?

Edited November 14, 2009 by Erica in PA

[momtoboys]

I have a freelance job where I could definitely work full-time hours and make a good, good amount of money (enough to get us out of debt, save for a house, etc). . but. . I am home w/ my boys. It's definitely a sacrifice, since we're just making it month to month. I can't concentrate on working when I'm watching the boys and teaching my son.

 

I bring in about $100 or so a week now. I would love to do 10X that. Seriously, I could work 6 hours a day and earn $1000 a week if I had someone watching my younger son and sent my older son to school. But...

 

Sometimes I think, when i'm on my deathbed. . will I wish I had earned $1000 a week? Or that I had been w/ my kids?

 

I always think of that song by 33 Miles "One Life to Love".

[katemary63]

I don't think it makes any sense to take a different job with lower pay when you already can't pay for braces and you are thinking of going back to work and sending your kids to school. God's will? I question that one.

[Moxie]

I don't think it makes any sense to take a different job with lower pay when you already can't pay for braces and you are thinking of going back to work and sending your kids to school. God's will? I question that one.

 

:iagree:

[momtoboys]

I also wanted to say, not everything is clearly God's will or not. I would try to get some counseling/financial counseling if you have it available at your church, so they can maybe give you some good tips to get out of debt and start saving. I say this from experience. We've done this! :)

 

The hugest thing I've learned as I've gotten older is to seek wise and Godly counsel. If ONLY, If ONLY we had done this much earlier in our marriage/life.

[Renee in NC]

Our plan when we moved to FL was to put the dc in school and for me to get a job. My dh's job paid well below poverty level with no benefits. I even went to the school, talked to the registrar, etc. I had a lead on a job where both my mother and my aunt had connections. It seemed like a sure thing. Two major things changed our plans:

 

My 8yo has severe learning disabilities. The school's plan (because he doesn't have an IEP yet) was to test him and place him where he tested (placement tests) and then test him for LDs. The problem with that is he would have tested into K and not only is he almost 9, but he is 4'9" tall! He would've stuck out like a sore thumb.

 

Then, I was going to have to pay daycare for the youngest 5, which was $513 a WEEK! I probably would have gotten a job that paid in the $45-50K range to start, maybe more, but it still seemed ridiculous to pay out so much in daycare.

 

We ended up ditching the plan and I think that we are better off. I did apply for a part-time job at one time, but didn't ever hear back. I don't really have time and/or energy to work outside the home at this point because I have so many young children, but I was willing to do whatever I needed to.

 

Now, my dh has gotten a higher paying job (still well below poverty level for our family, but not AS low.) His hours, though, will make it impossible for me to work a PT job.

 

I will say this - through all the turmoil my dc have been through, I am so thankful that they were homeschooled! That was the only stability during the past year. I would have hated had they had to change schools several times as our lives changed.

 

We don't live in an apartment, but we do live in a 30-year old 1300 square foot mobile home. We will likely to be paycheck-to-paycheck for a long time - 10+ years! I have a ds who needs braces and another who needs extensive tutoring and therapy. I understand what you mean and their are days when I just can't see doing this forever. Then I think about what me going to work would entail - the stress, the changes in my dc, etc. - and I don't think I could do *that* for 10+ years either!

:grouphug:

[Erica in PA]

I don't think it makes any sense to take a different job with lower pay when you already can't pay for braces and you are thinking of going back to work and sending your kids to school. God's will? I question that one.

 

I know, that sounds odd when it's typed up like that, but I can't elaborate more right now, publicly. I'll send you a PM.

[Erica in PA]

I edited that part of my post, because it's complicated and I can't fully explain it on this forum. It sounded a lot weirder and less logical than the actual situation is, and I didn't want people to focus on that part, and miss the main gist of the situation. Even if dh doesn't take that position, we still have major changes to make if we're going to get by financially.

[Aubrey]

Well...I think the first question is, why do you homeschool? If it's just a preference, if it's just based on something circumstantial, I could see making a change.

 

If it's something deeper, though--I guess--well, put dh's career up against hs'ing. Is God calling you to do one & forego the other?

 

If your reasons to hs have anything to do w/ faith, I wouldn't put the kids in school. I'm having a really hard time saying what I mean, & I've deleted & retyped 3 times, so hopefully I'm making sense.

 

Someone recently told me that we have a tendency to think we can be unfaithful in small things in order to get to the big thing, & we think that *then* we can be faithful. But now is all we have.

 

This may be totally irrelevant to you, but as a hs'er whose dh quit his job to come to seminary, it's what I've got. :001_smile:

[Aubrey]

I don't know what I'm asking for really... has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you decide? Would you homeschool if it meant living pretty much at the poverty level to do so? Any other thoughts to share?

 

When the decision is that big--makes that big of a difference--I think you end up making the decision over & over. You come back to it every year, every semester, whatever, & think, "Am I crazy???"

 

We hs. Right now, that puts us below the poverty level. My teaching cert just expired this summer. I could be making $50,000/yr.

 

I don't like to talk about it because it involves a huge range of emotions, from shame to anger to...I don't know what. How can I justify staying home w/ my kids when I have a master's degree, & dh can't find a decent job?

 

I do it because I believe that what I stand to lose if I don't is priceless. I'm not facing issues like braces yet, but the physical things we do without do not compete with the long-term spiritual, academic, & emotional benefits I (hope) our dc are getting from hs'ing. It comes close sometimes, but...if you can keep your eyes on what you believe...I don't know. I'd love to say there's one right answer for everybody, because that's the way my brain works.

 

I don't know that I have anything else beneficial to say, so I'm going to stop abruptly before I put my foot any further in my mouth.

 

:grouphug:

[elegantlion]

We've always chosen homeschooling over me working, but for us it's a good financial decision. My earning power is not that great and public school is not really free.

 

I probably sit down and make a realistic budget of what it costs for you to return to the workforce. Are there jobs in your area that will pay what you need? Homeschooling can be very budget friendly when you're living paycheck to paycheck. You can buy materials when you have a little bit of money, modify when you don't, and stretch food and clothing a lot longer.

 

What will it cost to send your dc to public school? You don't have to answer here, but these are some questions I'd ask myself.

 

- what are lunch expenses? Eating at home is cheaper

- do they require uniforms?

- can they walk or ride the bus or will transportation costs be added?

- what other fees will I need to pay?

- What will "I" need to look for a job? more car expenses? different clothing? Lunch money?

 

When my dh and I talked about this many years ago we decided it was much cheaper for us to keep ds at home and me continue to homeschool. We've scrapped by some years, had one car for two years (and no where to walk around here), and sometimes wandered the grocery store trying to find the cheapest meals possible.

 

It's not an easy decision. :grouphug:

[Kathleen in VA]

I have been where you are about 3 or 4 times in the 17 years I have been homeschooling. Financial strain is no fun at all, so I definitely know the thought processes that compel one to see putting the kids in ps and getting a job as the only option. There are seven of us living in a 1000sf house. We live paycheck to paycheck and always have (we've been married 23 years). We live in a high cost of living area (both of us were raised here - our grandparents knew each other - so we did not move here by choice) and my dh is a blue collar worker. He has always worked two jobs - always - so that I could stay home and homeschool. After debating the idea of putting my kids in ps on several desperate occasions, I have found that my conscience simply will not allow me to do it.

 

I cannot sacrifice my children on the altar of public education (if you can call it education - I think it is really just socialist indoctrination) for money. My dh agrees wholeheartedly, so that helps tremendously. Our entire married lives I have strained over this because we really are squished in our house and we are always behind on some bill or another - we've even had our electricity cut off (until someone at our church found out and paid our bill for us). Some of our financial difficulty is because we made poor choices early in our marriage and some of it is due to a whole lot of medical expenses that we are struggling to pay off. It can be stressful to say the least. Nevertheless, putting my kids in ps is now the LAST - absolute LAST - thing I would do to remedy our situation. I would rather sit in the dark and eat beans for a year than put my kids in ps.

 

I cannot imagine it is God's will for any Christian to place their children under the tutelage of godless people. (Sure, I know there are Christian teachers out there - I used to be one of them - I'm talking about the system as a whole). That makes no sense to me at all. God wants us to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord - to train them in the way they should go - to talk about Him when we sit and lie down and walk by the way. How can we obey those commands when our children are spending nearly all their waking hours with people who deny that He even exists, or, if they do believe in Him, cannot talk about Him?

 

What I read in your post is that you don't see how you can work it out - that you can't figure out how to manage. I believe God always provides for our needs - not always our wants - but definitely our needs. He places us in very hard situations at times to test our dependence on Him. He is the God that provides - He never changes. When we try to "lean on our own understanding" things can sometimes (often?) look bleak. He asks us to trust Him with all our hearts. It's times like these that demand us to "cast all our care on Him because He cares for us." God's work (homeschooling), done in God's way will never lack for God's supply (Hudson Taylor, missionary to China, said that, minus the homeschooling part:)).

 

Evaluate all areas where you can cut back expenses; I constantly do this. Pray about how to lower the outgo. We really can live without so many things and it can be very freeing to do so. I struggled with this many times and I truly understand your pov. I've always come around to the conclusion that by the time I paid for the gas, car, work clothes, taxes, and the convenience foods that I would probably resort to due to lack of time and energy, what little money I could bring home would not be worth placing my precious children in an ungodly environment.

 

Oh, and I realize my thoughts on this are quite radical so let me just emphasize that these are my thoughts and I share them only in an effort to be helpful to the OP. I am not trying to persuade anyone that I'm right - just saying how I worked through this same struggle and how I dealt with it.

[EmilyK]

Just throwing this out.

 

I've known families where 13 year olds have homeschooled and both parents worked. One idea is that the youngers who want to go to school do, even for 1 year to see what it is like. The older one homeschools and you and your husband split 50-50 all the homeschooling (and homekeeping) duties. The family I know did this found a family with young kids and the 13 year old boy spent his day there hanging out, and doing chores for them, and doing his "homework". He then homeschooled (teacher intensive parts) with his parents on the nights and weekends.

 

No idea if this will fit your situation. Good luck.

[Kim in Appalachia]

:grouphug: I'm sorry you are in such a spot that you feel no choice in doing something. That is a hard place to be.

 

That being said, why does your dh want to take a job that makes so much less if you already can't pay your bills? I don't mean that to sound negative. He could have a good reason. The new job could be more secure, or have better long term opportunity. I don't know what his reasons are, but I would want to make sure that it was a good move. Since he still has student loans, I would make that a priority to have paid off before he switches careers. I would want more than it just feeling like God is leading. No offense, but I don't trust feelings.

 

As for you taking a full time job, have you considered the hidden costs? Often other costs go up when you have to be out of the house all day. If you do need some extra money to cover temporary expenses (I'm thinking of the student loans and credit card bills), a part time job might be better.

 

If you do have to put the kids in school and work maybe you could still find a way to homeschool the 13 year old. If he is self motivated you could find a way to work with him a few days a week.

 

I would also encourage you to have a frank talk with your dh. I know you want to be supportive, but make sure he is seeing the same financial problems you are seeing. Sometimes, when one person is handling the bills and budget, the other person doesn't have a real sense of what is going on, even if you tell him or her. Before he changes jobs, make sure he has a plan for how he is going to pay his loans and debt, plus take care of the kids. If his plan includes you working for a time, then you may need to do it. Maybe he doesn't realize the stress you are under as he makes his decision.

 

:grouphug: again. I hope this didn't sound negative or rude. I'm typing thoughts as they come as I give spelling tests to 3 kids. I hope you and your dh are able to find a solution to your financial situation.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

You may have done these things already, but I recommend looking carefully over your budget and seeing if you are eligible for any assistance such as food stamps, Medicaid, WIC, etc. IMHO. My husband and I are walking a tight line financially and I worry that I may have to take a job as well. Could you take a weekend or evening job perhaps? Although, I understand not wanting too since I myself feel that I do not have enough energy to do even a weekend job or evening job. Do you have any family members nearby who could help with homeschooling so that you could pick up a part time job?

[stripe]

I also don't think it's necessarily how much money you make, it may be more about the money you have left over. It's one thing, for example, to have an income at the poverty level but your housing expenses, for example, are very low, versus having $900/mo rent. I think you should seriously evaluate your biggest expenses such as housing, transportation, and so on, and really figure out what's going on. Including if your income is so low, perhaps you could participate in various governmental and charitable programs to help with rent, food, health care, and other expenses. You may want to seek out financial advice from a reputable organization that can help you make better spending decisions and deal with the various complications that you have.

 

I also think you should consider if your husband could do the homeschooling and you work, and other creative arrangements such as what has been described by others. You may want to consider moving to a cheaper area/state. It also sounds to me like you need to have deeper discussions with your husband, since he seems interested in taking a lower paying job and is very much opposed to sending your kids to school.

[StartingOver]

Of course this is my opinion and mine only. But I would do just about anything to continue to homeschool. Short of living in a tent. We have rearranged our whole life to be able to live on DH's income. It is a sacrific we are glad to make.

 

Over the years I have worked opposite ****, taken in daycare children. What ever it takes.

Edited November 13, 2009 by alatexan68

[Cranberry]

so is it the cost of homeschooling, or the missing out on salary that you could make?

 

I don't have any answers for you, but perhaps you could look into a free online state thing that wouldn't cost you any money...even supplies are free. Maybe even the time that you don't have to spend planning curricula and stuff would free you up to do some computer work from home to earn a little extra $.

[AuntieM]

Kathleen, what a beautiful, thoughtful reply. You didn't know it but you were answering a question of mine as well.... thank you.

 

Erica, I am sorry you are enduring this. I pray that God will give you peace and reassure you of the path that He wants you to take. :grouphug:

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

so is it the cost of homeschooling, or the missing out on salary that you could make?

 

I don't have any answers for you, but perhaps you could look into a free online state thing that wouldn't cost you any money...even supplies are free. Maybe even the time that you don't have to spend planning curricula and stuff would free you up to do some computer work from home to earn a little extra $.

 

My son uses a free public cyber school in Pa. It could save you money on curricula and they even give re-imbursement (sp?) for internet expenses. Your 13 year old could possibly be independent with a cyber school as well with you checking his daily progress and assignments which is easy to do. Of course, cyber school is not homeschooling but I find it to be fairly flexible and classical-like:)

[Renee in NC]

What I read in your post is that you don't see how you can work it out - that you can't figure out how to manage. I believe God always provides for our needs - not always our wants - but definitely our needs. He places us in very hard situations at times to test our dependence on Him. He is the God that provides - He never changes. When we try to "lean on our own understanding" things can sometimes (often?) look bleak. He asks us to trust Him with all our hearts. It's times like these that demand us to "cast all our care on Him because He cares for us." God's work (homeschooling), done in God's way will never lack for God's supply (Hudson Taylor, missionary to China, said that, minus the homeschooling part).

 

Evaluate all areas where you can cut back expenses; I constantly do this. Pray about how to lower the outgo. We really can live without so many things and it can be very freeing to do so. I struggled with this many times and I truly understand your pov. I've always come around to the conclusion that by the time I paid for the gas, car, work clothes, taxes, and the convenience foods that I would probably resort to due to lack of time and energy, what little money I could bring home would not be worth placing my precious children in an ungodly environment.

 

 

There is so much wisdom in these words, Kathleen.

[Georgiana Daniels]

I was waging this battle within myself two days ago. There's not an easy answer, especially when you know you could be a financial contributor and help your family improve certain circumstances.

 

BUT,

 

some things the other posters said really struck a chord in me. Now I'm rethinking some of my attitudes, and while I have no advice to offer, I just want to say thanks to the others who have shared wisdom.

[Plucky]

No, we've looked at all the angles if my dh were to lose his job. We'd sell or give up the house and maybe even move to an area with a lower cost of living.

[Desert Rat]

We're in the same boat. Dh was laid off 6 weeks ago. I'm truly terrified that he won't be back to work any time soon. We had a long talk about my working and he really doesn't want me to. He said I already had a very demanding job. It made me feel good that he was so supportive but not any better about the financial contribumtion aspect. So, I took in a newborn to care for full time Monday through Friday. I'll bring in around $800 which will make a huge difference! I realize that living in an apartment may not be the ideal situation for babysitting but it's something to think about. We also pick up pop cans everywhere we go to recycle and have cut way back on food spending and we won't be buying lots of new curriculum next year.

I just keep reminding myself that this too, in time, shall pass. It's a battle I feel I'm losing most days.

Hang in there!

[Margaret in GA]

Yes, I would. It sounds like you are really struggling and if that makes everyone's life less stressful then I would do it. ***But... I would start looking now if I were you. It may be harder than you think to get a job that would make it worth while. There are so many over-qualified people taking entry level jobs just to stay afloat right now. Good Luck!

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Yes, I would. It sounds like you are really struggling and if that makes everyone's life less stressful then I would do it. ***But... I would start looking now if I were you. It may be harder than you think to get a job that would make it worth while. There are so many over-qualified people taking entry level jobs just to stay afloat right now. Good Luck!

:iagree: I would definitely consider this as well as all of your options.

[shinyhappypeople]

I would definitely consider putting your younger 2 in school since they want to go and letting your 13 yo stay home and homeschool on evenings and weekends. You have a big advantage in going back to work now since you won't have any childcare costs. If you can find a job, go for it. If it doesn't work out, then you quit and figure out another plan. Nothing's written in stone.

 

Good luck :)

[melissel]

This is something I've been seriously struggling with, and haven't mentioned to anyone IRL. We just don't seem to have enough money, and it's getting worse and worse. Dh is considering taking a different position that actually pays $10,000 less than he makes now, due to reasons that I can't divulge here, but which do make a lot of sense (you'll have to take my word for that part). We're down to the bare minimum already, still struggling with student loans, credit cards, etc. All three of our kids need braces badly and we can't come up with the money for even just the 13 yos to get his. We need substantially more money than we currently make, let alone what dh might make if he does change careers. Me just working part-time wouldn't be enough.

 

I'm thinking the only thing that we could change that would bring in enough money would be for me to go to work full-time. Even though I love homeschooling, I have to wonder if it's best if it continually causes our family to struggle financially. We just don't seem to be a family that can make it work on half of our possible income, and I can't see spending our entire time raising children living paycheck to paycheck, in an apartment, with no space and no money.

 

My younger two kids (9 and 7 yo) would like to go to school, and have said so many times. My oldest son (13 yos) does not want to go to school at all, so I would feel guilty about that. He is a good, compliant child though so I think he would adjust, and do fine. I hate the idea of being apart from them all day, though. My husband will not like this idea at all, because he is a very strong supporter of our homeschooling, so that would require prayer and a change of heart from him.

 

I don't know what I'm asking for really... has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you decide? Would you homeschool if it meant living pretty much at the poverty level to do so? Any other thoughts to share?

 

Erica, I'm so sorry. I've been struggling with something similar for the past two years, but on a much smaller scale and with less at stake than you have, and it's still been awful. I have no advice that hasn't already been given here, but I wanted to just give you a :grouphug: It's a hard decision to have to make.

[Sara R]

What are the schools like in your area?

 

I was forced to put my kids in school not because of money, but because of health. To my surprise they did very well. If your schools are decent and you have a strong home, the kids take that strong foundation of parental love and teaching with them to school. Now the health crisis has passed, but all kids go to school at least part days. I afterschool for academic reasons, but on the whole the positives of school have outweighed the negatives.

 

If you want advice from former homeschoolers who have put their kids in school, check out the Afterschooler board.

[claire up north]

I know several families where the dad runs the homeschool & the mom works for the paycheck. Perhaps this would help you? what if you worked ft and your hubby worked pt?

 

FWIW, i would consider putting the kids in school. We have some good schools around here, and i think--for me--that being a "good" parent means providing things above and beyond a good education.

 

I hope you find a workable solution. :grouphug:

[Chris in VA]

I tried working last year, putting dd in school and letting ds finish high school at home. I came home and had no energy for discussions with ds. Dd did well academically--she should've, it was mostly review.

 

Did I pay down debt like I thought I would? Not nearly as much. I did not have to take any money for my own bills (we separated our accounts years ago, so I can pay down my own debt) from dh's salary, so that helped somewhat. The mental and emotional battle I waged over not being able to stay home and homeschool was excruciating.

 

I said I wouldn't do that again. THis year, I work as a babysitter once a week, and dd comes with me. We are homeschooling. Am I making enough? Well, not really. I mean, I also supplement by walking dogs for people on vacation. I've had enough to pay my monthly credit card bills, but I often need more gas and don't have any $ to get my hair cut, pick up things at the grocery if we run out (milk and such), pay my library fine (whittling it away, a couple dollars at a time!). Yet I'm happier than last year. Part of that is undoubtedly that my second son is recovering from drug abuse, and doing really well. Part of it, I know, is that I am learning to rely on God and to delay gratification. Still hard, but at least dd is happier, and me, too.

 

I don't know what your answer is. I guess I'd try to lower your standard of living in order to meet your salary instead of raising your salary to meet your standard of living. Would a few extra dollars (maybe, $300 a month, say?) be worth your time and help you bridge the gap? If so, you could try babysitting at night, or walking a few dogs during the noon hour.

[Colleen in NS]

All three of our kids need braces badly and we can't come up with the money for even just the 13 yos to get his.

 

Even though I love homeschooling, I have to wonder if it's best if it continually causes our family to struggle financially.

 

I hate the idea of being apart from them all day, though. My husband will not like this idea at all, because he is a very strong supporter of our homeschooling

 

has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you decide? Would you homeschool if it meant living pretty much at the poverty level to do so? Any other thoughts to share?

 

Well, from posts I've read of yours in the past, you seem like a person who really does want to continue homeschooling and all that entails. I am like that, and I am of the mindset that I will keep on trying to find ways to make it work for us. We have always lived at or below poverty, except for a five or so month period when we both worked full-time at paying jobs. It hasn't been easy and I inwardly rebel all the time!!:D

 

Sometimes I think that this constant decision-making (should we stay where we live, how much of the sale meat should I buy, should I even buy meat, should I buy clothes from this $7/bag sale or should we just keep wearing the holey ones - they still cover us and keep us warm, must remember to turn the heat down at 9 p.m., don't forget to pay the bill on time so I don't rack up a late charge, how in the world will we replace the 15 year old vehicle when it finally goes completely when we don't have any savings, etc. etc.) is, in a strange way, good for us. It's wearying sometimes, yet it keeps us thinking creatively. It makes us constantly think about, evaluate, and reinforce our priorities and find the small ways, step by step, to keep them as priorities. I'd rather buy books that we can't find at the library and a few science supplies, than buy regular meals out. These decisions keep us changing, too, and continually adapting. Dh and I have changed a lot over the years, and seem to line up more in our deeply rooted priorities. So we try to make them work.

 

You have asked in the past about housing. You have talked about living in an apt. rather than taking on the house-buying burden, and I have envied you. I wish we had thought more thoroughly about that before buying a house 10 years ago. You seemed very sure of yourself, even as you asked for opinions about buying a house. You seem sure of yourself now, about hating to be separated from your kids and your husband being a strong supporter for homeschooling - if it were me, I'd go with that.

 

The financial struggles - your kids see the day-to-day struggles - do you think they are learning good things, even when things seem hard? Are they learning how to make those annoying, small, but important decisions (like should we buy this meat or not, etc.)? I think those things are important for kids to see and learn. If you can find ways to keep on teaching them what you really want them to learn (academically and for life), I say keep it up and find other ways to make life work.

 

Braces - are they medically necessary right now? Is it something that can wait, even if not idea, and even into adulthood when they could pay for them themselves? My own doctor, who is 51, just had braces put on. My sil had braces put on in her 30s.

 

Have you freshened yourself with a good frugal living book lately? I go through my Complete Tightwad Gazette every so often, to get reinspired about frugal living - I still find new ideas in there to implement. Some work, some don't, some I get tired of, but the reading reinspires me to try again.

 

hth

[gingersmom]

I knew a homeschool mom who was a nurse. She worked nights and weekends.

 

She slept during the day while her kids did (I think) BJU dvd's.

 

Just a thought.

[Tree House Academy]

Your kids will likely not perish from spending a year or so in ps. If I was in your situation and needed to go back to work for the good of our family, I wouldn't hesitate. I would make the plan that, in a certain amount of time (or after a certain bill is paid, etc) that I would return to homeschooling and make that my goal. I think each person has to decide what is best for their family and that changes over time.

 

Hugs to you and good luck on your decision!

 

ETA: You said you haven't mentioned this to anyone IRL...does that include your dh? If so, you may want to get his opinion before thinking much further. When I have mentioned similar things to dh (not due to financial issues persey, but other reasons...like the fact that he carries all the weight on his sholders of supporting our family and I can see the stress he is under in his career), his response is very "I will do anything I can to not send the kids to ps!" It would stress him more if I went back to work than it does for me to stay home and do what we are doing.

Edited November 13, 2009 by Tree House Academy

[Mom2GirlsTX]

Your kids will likely not perish from spending a year or so in ps. If I was in your situation and needed to go back to work for the good of our family, I wouldn't hesitate. I would make the plan that, in a certain amount of time (or after a certain bill is paid, etc) that I would return to homeschooling and make that my goal. I think each person has to decide what is best for their family and that changes over time.

 

Hugs to you and good luck on your decision!

 

.

 

:iagree:

 

I agree with this. Of course each person must make their own decisions, but if you really feel the need to help out financially, then this is something you and dh should agree upon together. Take care :)

Edited November 13, 2009 by Mom2GirlsTX

[stripe]

Um, are you saying you think $900 is a lot for rent?! Where do you live? :001_huh:

I sure think it's not $0, and I don't think it's a very low rent. I didn't think the OP lived in NYC or Tokyo.

 

Isn't "a lot" relative? So "a lot for rent" for me is different than for Bill Gates. And $900 is a lot compared to $0, if one only pays property tax in an already-owned house or by living with relatives. Those who live in subsidized housing (they generally pay 30% of income) and others who have found various other cheap options.

 

Remember, we are talking about someone who said she is contemplating living at or below poverty level.

 

For a family of 5, that is just under $26,000 a year, which (by my calculation) is $2167 / month (before taxes). Paying $900/month would be about 42% of pre-tax income. According to most of what I've read by financial advisors, that is a relatively high amount for rent.

 

Feel free to substitute a different number that is more comfortable for you, if it will help you understand my general point more.

[eternalknot]

I've thought about it. I actually have a full-time job that gives me scheduling flexibility to work as few or as many hours as I choose to - most months I choose to work 1/8 time (2-4 days). I live in an area with pretty good public schools, and have friends and family thriving in the very schools my kids would attend. I homeschool for the flexibility -- it's not a decision driven by faith, social or academic concerns.

 

My kids went from living the lifestyle that came with $150K earnings when their dad was around, to living off of mostly my income. I'll gross $13K/year which is roughly $900/mo for all expenses outside of our mortgage and insurance (he pays those). My income supports our groceries and hygiene, car and gas, co-pays and meds, clothes and extracurriculars, birthdays and holidays, student loan, household and car emergencies, travel and business-related expenses (hotels, dining out, work clothes), utilities and tech (phones, internet, tv). Oh, and curricula + field trips.

 

We took quite a paycut. It's hard to move down to a different socio-economic level; sometimes, even though our reality is one level ... our expectations, hopes, and wishes still lie in the higher level. I had to do serious work on detaching myself from certain expectations. That wasn't fun or easy, but it's been very much worth having done so. We continue to live in a high-income area because my husband (we're separated, not divorced) pays the mortgage, so we get daily reminders of how money-poor we are. Our neighbors make in a month, what I've made all year. Their teenagers are gifted cars that cost more than I earned the past TWO years. Some days it gets me down, but most days I'm glad that we've all made lifestyle choices that truly make us happy in the long run. Flexibility makes me happy, so while they're young I choose homeschooling over salary.

 

Good luck with your very difficult decision :grouphug:

[Dayle in Guatemala]

and it was tough. But, it worked.

 

I worked at a daycare center as their head school-age teacher. During the school-year I opened the center at 5:45 am and got my room off to school at 8:15. Cleaned up and got the room set up for the afternoon and left by 8:45. Got home and started school at 9 am. Did school until lunch, after lunch did a few more things with the dc and then was back at work by 2:45. My class showed up at 3:15 and I worked until 6:15.

 

It was a trick during school breaks, snow days, etc. to work out the schedule, but, it always did and I could always bring my own dc to work with me when I needed to (as long as it didn't put us over our numbers so that another staff member had to be there I could do that for free). It was a good job and I enjoyed it. I did bring my dc to work at times, but, not often.

 

Anyway, it's an option for you if you have to work and would like to continue to homeschool at least your oldest.

[momtoboys]

I don't think you should feel at all guilty if you decide to send them to school. Just another bit of advice. It's really you and your husband's decision!

[Supertechmom]

Fast food places are always thankful to get older workers in. I worked many many months as the regular dependable show up to work no matter what Friday and Saturday night gal. I could have made shift manager if I could have worked out being able to leave later in the mornings (My hubby worked on Sats so I had to be home and couldn't agree to stay until the new shift arrived whenever that may be) But if you could work out a night job with one of the local places, you can acutally make a decent amount that might help out.

[katilac]

No, I would not choose to homeschool if it meant raising my children at poverty level. It's one thing to drive old cars and give up vacations, and another thing entirely to not have the money for the light bill.

 

My baseline is that we need to live in a comfortable, safe home, we need to have enough money for nutritious food, we need to be able to provide all needed medical and dental care, and we need to have enough money for the kids to have at least occasional outside opportunities (as in outside classes or lessons, field trips, etc).

 

As you said, I can't see spending our entire time raising children living paycheck to paycheck, in an apartment, with no space and no money.

 

I also don't see how it's even possible for you to get by on $10k less if you are already struggling; that's a heckuva big drop. It seems that, if dh changes jobs, then something else HAS to change, or the bills simply won't get paid. If I were in this situation, and could make decent money working full-time, that's what I would do. But first I'd go over the numbers with dh and make sure he realizes that really, really wanting to homeschool doesn't mitigate the effects of a $10k drop in pay. If it has to be done, then fine, but the bills also have to be paid. Brainstorm, look at all the options, sure, but when push comes to shove, rent is not optional.

 

Now, I would think about what others have suggested - - letting your 13yr old homeschool while the others go to school. Plenty of kids that age could manage just fine; he just has to realize what he's committing to, and that the choice is his.

[Laurie4b]

We've always chosen homeschooling over me working, but for us it's a good financial decision. My earning power is not that great and public school is not really free.

 

I probably sit down and make a realistic budget of what it costs for you to return to the workforce. Are there jobs in your area that will pay what you need? Homeschooling can be very budget friendly when you're living paycheck to paycheck. You can buy materials when you have a little bit of money, modify when you don't, and stretch food and clothing a lot longer.

 

What will it cost to send your dc to public school? You don't have to answer here, but these are some questions I'd ask myself.

 

- what are lunch expenses? Eating at home is cheaper

- do they require uniforms?

- can they walk or ride the bus or will transportation costs be added?

- what other fees will I need to pay?

- What will "I" need to look for a job? more car expenses? different clothing? Lunch money?

 

When my dh and I talked about this many years ago we decided it was much cheaper for us to keep ds at home and me continue to homeschool. We've scrapped by some years, had one car for two years (and no where to walk around here), and sometimes wandered the grocery store trying to find the cheapest meals possible.

 

It's not an easy decision. :grouphug:

 

Parents are asked to send supplies that used to be provided by the schools in some areas

Some places have astronomical fees for field trips, etc.

Clothes for your kids will likely be a bigger expense. Hs'd kids tend to be "underdressed" as a group, with lots of folks wearing hand-me-downs, etc. In public school, the pressure to dress like everyone else (off the newest rack) is pretty intense. Kids keep track of how often something is worn, etc.

 

So I second the advice to count the literal cost of public schooling.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

Some work at home ideas:

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=137344&highlight=transcription

 

You could probably make $30 an hour in PA if you live in a higher cost area. Your 13 year old might be able to take on his own students for $15 to start, $20 when he gets experience:

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76388

Edited November 14, 2009 by ElizabethB

[abbeyej]

((Erica))... I don't know what the solution is. I know you guys have been working under this pressure for a long time, and I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.

[ChristusG]

I haven't read all the other replies....

 

But personally, it would take ALOT for me to put my kids in school. I told DH we would just have to sell off our belongings, move into a one bedroom apt, and go from there. It's that important to me.

 

I know that's probably easier said than done when you are actually living the situation though.

[missmoe]

Here are some expenses we've faced sending our daughter to school this year.

 

Books for English class: $60.00 (so far--1/4 of the way through the school year).

Gym: Lock--$10.00, gym clothes(not sure my dd bought them), gym shoes--$30

Biology--$10 lab fees

Lunch--$2.50 day--usually she takes lunch, but about three times a month she buys lunch

School supplies:--back pack--$65.00(bought a good one because she has a difficulty with her back), notebooks, binders, pencils, ect---$50

Math--$10--math kit

Agenda--required for freshman--$10

Field trip for debate team--$10

Swimteam--just to try out for swim team one has to come up with $90 for transportation fee--this doesn't include the $200-$300 needed for uniform expenses.

 

That is off the top of my head. I'm sure there is something I'm missing. We are always being asked to donate money. We just aren't in the situation to do so right now.

 

Now my ds attends a school in the same district and has been asked to pay for nothing--except for some leadership conferences/camps he attended. The school even gives him a chance to work in the office to earn the money to attend those.

 

This sounds like a really hard choice you have to make, Erica. I'm sorry you're in this situation. :grouphug: I'm hoping that you and your husband can work out what is best for your family.

[dragons in the flower bed]

I echo what Kathleen in VA said, only from a secular perspective. When it comes down to driving over to the building to enroll them, I find that I can't sacrifice the hearts and minds of my precious kids even in order to be sure they have the modest gift they asked for on birthdays, a backyard, or time with Dad everyday. The kids have to be kind and curious to deal with life in general. Putting them in our local classrooms would indubitably squash their compassionate love-to-learn attitudes. They'd end up disabled for life if that happened.

 

So many great men and women of history have been homeschooled or unschooled in poverty, but how many have been raised in middle class households attending American public schools?

[jazzyfizzle]

Parents are asked to send supplies that used to be provided by the schools in some areas

Some places have astronomical fees for field trips, etc.

Clothes for your kids will likely be a bigger expense. Hs'd kids tend to be "underdressed" as a group, with lots of folks wearing hand-me-downs, etc. In public school, the pressure to dress like everyone else (off the newest rack) is pretty intense. Kids keep track of how often something is worn, etc.

 

So I second the advice to count the literal cost of public schooling.

 

 

I also suggest tracking the cost of PS. I watched my MIL who has custody of three other grandchildren, writing out checks for their school lunches- about $21 each per week. :blink:

I agree on the clothing too. Here, we live in this little town in the middle of nowhere- and there is real discrimination if the kids are even wearing walmart clothes, let alone don't have the 'mall' tennis shoes. It would be terrible taunting if some of the PS kids found out my kids wear items purchased at garage sales, or the goodwill.

Add in the cost of book fees- here it is in the $20-40 a year range per kid.

 

All the best in your decision :grouphug:

Edited November 14, 2009 by jazzyfizzle
typo

[swellmomma]

OT: but as I quickly scanned the titles of threads I read this one as "has anyone considered SELLING their kids to school for financial considerations" My first thought was, there is a school that will pay me to send them there? And here I thought Alberta was paying me to keep them out of the school hehe (homeschool funding).

 

Back on topic: I have considered this, recently in fact, but having had the kids in school while I worked I have to say that while we are dirt poor we have more now than we ever did back then. When I worked f/t the kids went to school and afterschool daycare, my 3rd went to daycare f/t(he was just a baby/toddler). I spent $900/month on daycare fees and that was will subsidies. Plus the extra fees the school wanted weekly, the lunch money, gas money to get them there and back and me to and from work, work clothes, the hassle in the mornings and at the end of the evening, then the homework battle, and the fight to get everyone to bed early enough to make up for the early morning the next day. It was HORRIBLE. In the end I think I had like $100/month "extra" money after all that hassle to show for my fulltime job.

 

Before I had my 4th I worked in daycare doing afterschool care, my 3rd was too young to bring so I paid $350/month in daycare fees to have him in a separate place. That wasn't so bad until my hours dropped(I went to work in the second location the owner bought and all the kids were gone by 4:30 each afternoon).

 

If I put the kids in school/afterschool care and the littlest in daycare I would be spending over $1000/month in daycare fees alone plus all the school fees and added stress. I would be further behind than I am now. If I go back to working in afterschool care I would be paying out about $350/month in daycare fees but actually have something coming in. This is the point I am at now, looking into finding a center to do this in again, until this summer when I move.

 

My earning potential is not very big, I do have a college diploma but the possible income potential is very small compared to the cost of daycare. I "make" more money staying home than I did working fulltime now that my ex pays child support.

[Sara R]

So many great men and women of history have been homeschooled or unschooled in poverty, but how many have been raised in middle class households attending American public schools?

 

Ummm...plenty? I would think that most of the great men and women from 1890-1970 were educated in public schools, unless they were educated in private schools, since homeschooling and unschooling were very uncommon then.

 

Good parents still have great influence over their children, even if they are sent to public school. Public schools have not quashed my children's love of learning; quite the contrary, actually. And public schools vary. Homeschooling situations vary as well. Wise parents have to weigh all the pros and cons about their particular situation and make a decision.