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May I share? (elation and sadness all at once)

Nestof3
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Nestof3

Nestof3

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I really don't mean this as a boast, but quite frankly, I have few "real life" friends to share this with.

 

We paid off our minivan today -- the 2007 Odyssey we bought almost two year ago.

 

We now only have our house which will be paid for in a year. :)

 

I shared with my parents, and though my mom was happy for us, my dad seemed rather blase. I would just once like to hear my dad say something like, "great job" or "your husband is wise to get out of debt so quickly" or something nice. But, no, it's always this feeling of, "Well, you live in such a stinkin' small house, anyone could pay that off."

 

I'm sorry -- I'm elated and SOOOO very proud of my husband for his hard work and commitment to getting out of debt. I would love to hear that from my parents. But, in my Dad's eyes, he's a lowly blue collar worker. I am proud of my husband for the company he has made --for his integrity and hard work, but my dad said, "He hasn't made a business, he only made a job for himself." ugh

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WyoSylvia

WyoSylvia

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That is incredible, what a future you're building!!

:hurray: :cheers2:

 

I know it is hard, but please try not to think about the lack of affirmation, YOU KNOW that that is a great accomplishment. What in the world is all the economy mess about anyway, but people not having a responsible handle on their finances?!

 

Anyway, if you had a huge house, perhaps your dad might be lamenting how you'd sunk yourself in too deep. I have a small house as well, sometimes I wish it were bigger and then I think about how much time it would take to clean it! :001_smile:

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CAMom

CAMom

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Fantastic!!:hurray::hurray: We only have our house left, too, although it will be a lot longer than a year before we pay it off.;)

 

I'm really excited for you and will jump for joy with you! This is very worthy thing over which to be very proud of your husband's hard work! Congratulations to you both!

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Crissy

Crissy

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Dawn! That is fabulous!

 

I'm sorry your dad can't appreciate the wonderful things your husband is doing for your family. At the same time, I am happy that you recognize your husband's hard work and commitment.

 

Well done, Dawn and Family!

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Vida Winter

Vida Winter

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How wonderful! If I lived close to you I would bake pizzas and bring them over for a celebration.

 

Don't worry about what your family thinks, you know what matters in your heart. I will pray to lift you up. Feel good about your accomplishments, they are hard-earned and well-deserved.

 

:grouphug:

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teamturner

teamturner

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Wow, Dawn, that is great! Congratulations! I know you're a sister in Christ, so I can say: your Father IS quite pleased. His favor is showering down on you and your husband for being such great, industrious stewards! :D Well done!!!

 

:iagree: Who can top that??? Awesome!

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Karen sn

Karen sn

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I'm jealous.

Does that count?

 

Your dad is just one of those gray people.

Don't let it get you down.

Inside he's very proud of you but he believes that excessive show of it will cause you to be a "proud" and boastful person. My grandmother is the same way. If I am excited about something - she will find the lemon in it. Not on purpose or to be mean, just her personality.

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Tammyla

Tammyla

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:grouphug:I get what you saying...too bad about your parents...But woo-hoo for you and your dh. Big old Congratulations!

 

I really don't mean this as a boast, but quite frankly, I have few "real life" friends to share this with.

 

We paid off our minivan today -- the 2007 Odyssey we bought almost two year ago.

 

We now only have our house which will be paid for in a year. :)

 

I shared with my parents, and though my mom was happy for us, my dad seemed rather blase. I would just once like to hear my dad say something like, "great job" or "your husband is wise to get out of debt so quickly" or something nice. But, no, it's always this feeling of, "Well, you live in such a stinkin' small house, anyone could pay that off."

 

I'm sorry -- I'm elated and SOOOO very proud of my husband for his hard work and commitment to getting out of debt. I would love to hear that from my parents. But, in my Dad's eyes, he's a lowly blue collar worker. I am proud of my husband for the company he has made --for his integrity and hard work, but my dad said, "He hasn't made a business, he only made a job for himself." ugh

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Danestress

Danestress

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That's just awesome news and you have every right to be floating on cloud nine. You and your children are lucky to have such a hard working, level headed man who HAS started his own business (what is your father thinking????)

 

Many Kudos to you (and him!)

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mazakaal

mazakaal

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Joining with the other posters to say CONGRATULATIONS! I think it's wonderful that you've gotten the car paid off and are so close with the house. It is a huge accomplishment.:hurray:

 

Try not to let your dad's lack of enthusiasm bother you. I know... easier said than done. :grouphug:

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Nestof3

Nestof3

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How wonderful! If I lived close to you I would bake pizzas and bring them over for a celebration.

 

Don't worry about what your family thinks, you know what matters in your heart. I will pray to lift you up. Feel good about your accomplishments, they are hard-earned and well-deserved.

 

:grouphug:

 

Wow -- why is it so hard to find friends like this in real life? You're so kind.

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Nestof3

Nestof3

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Ladies, I've really cried through all of your responses. I wish I had a group of friends like you in real life.

 

I think with my Dad, he is a "gray" person as someone mentioned. I've always teased him by calling him "ole sunny-side up."

 

I think in this situation, he has never approved of my husband, and he refuses to find anything to praise. And, yes, he is one of those people that won't tell you even if he does have praise.

 

But, we just always pale in comparison to my brother and his wife. They both make 6 figures, they have a 4,000 sq foot house, he's VP at Banc of America Securities (not a misspelling ;)), they get to go on lots of vacations and such. And then, there is us.

 

It's always been that way. I would get honor roll every year, and little was said. If my brother made all Cs and up, they raved about him to the neighbors.

 

Wow -- I do sound like a person needing some serious therapy.

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OHGrandma

OHGrandma

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Ladies, I've really cried through all of your responses. I wish I had a group of friends like you in real life.

 

I think with my Dad, he is a "gray" person as someone mentioned. I've always teased him by calling him "ole sunny-side up."

 

I think in this situation, he has never approved of my husband, and he refuses to find anything to praise. And, yes, he is one of those people that won't tell you even if he does have praise.

 

But, we just always pale in comparison to my brother and his wife. They both make 6 figures, they have a 4,000 sq foot house, he's VP at Banc of America Securities (not a misspelling ;)), they get to go on lots of vacations and such. And then, there is us.

 

It's always been that way. I would get honor roll every year, and little was said. If my brother made all Cs and up, they raved about him to the neighbors.

 

Wow -- I do sound like a person needing some serious therapy.

 

You only need therapy if that stuff is eating at you. But it sounds like you are just relating facts. You can't change the facts.

Congratulations on achieving one goal, and so close on the next one.

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Colleen in NS

Colleen in NS

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We paid off our minivan today -- the 2007 Odyssey we bought almost two year ago.

 

We now only have our house which will be paid for in a year. :)

 

"Well, you live in such a stinkin' small house, anyone could pay that off."

 

"He hasn't made a business, he only made a job for himself." ugh

 

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! That is a HUGE accomplishment! And just think, you and dh will have an even bigger celebration to make in JUST ONE YEAR!!!

 

As to the small house, here's an opposite thought: "Because I live in such a stinkin' small house, I am able to pay it off quickly and live free more quickly as such a young age! And I can do with it what I want after that - make repairs/renos when needed, because I will have the money for it instead of paying the bank back."

 

And as for the "he only made a job for himself," well, "that's just great! I created my very own job with my very own money and now I get to pay for my house and vehicle!!! whooohoooo!!!!" Who cares if it's not a big company - it's what your family needs, and what a blessing!

 

I was just talking to a new friend yesterday and she was telling me they moved their family thousands of miles so they could have a cheaper place to live - they paid off all their debt and bought a nicer house here, mortgage free. She said she doesn't like to mention that to people because she doesn't want people to feel bad, but I said I thought it was great - smart move on their part, to get their family out from under that pressure.

 

I think in this situation, he has never approved of my husband, and he refuses to find anything to praise. And, yes, he is one of those people that won't tell you even if he does have praise.

 

But, we just always pale in comparison to my brother and his wife.

 

You'll probably always pale in comparison, and you can't change how he thinks. You just hope that someday something will change in his attitude toward you, but you go on and celebrate with your husband and find others to celebrate with you so you don't go crazy waiting to see if your father will change. :)

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mommaduck

mommaduck

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Congratulations!

 

And as far as "well you live in such a small house, etc"...no, not ANYONE could pay it off. You are blessed to own your own home, regardless of size. Not all of us have been able to do that. In today's economy, so many are losing their homes and others have never gone out on that limb. Congratulations to you. Your dad's attitude is just wrong.

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Sweetpeach

Sweetpeach

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Great to know there are people out there who don't buy into the mentality of "Western Waste!"

 

A small house means you bump into each other more often, which means you get to love each other harder.

 

Alrighty, Hivers . . . raise your glass of java and join in the chorus of toasting our Boardie Friend, Nest of 3!!!! Hooray Hooray Hooray.

 

Just so you know, my MIL calls us "money hungry" and regularly asks us "when will enough be enough" in relation to our rental properties. It used to hurt; now it rolls. It is what it is . . . expectation is the death of relationship, and so we know longer put ourselves in a position where we look for their affirmation. We're ok just how we are, and they can like it or not.

 

Blessings on you financially-astute folks! Whether or not your dh "just made a job for himself or not" is not the issue . . . you've got your financial house in order and in my opinion, it matters little what path you walked to get where you are right now. You've arrived and that's awesome.

 

Woot Woot!!!!!

 

T

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Sweetpeach

Sweetpeach

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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! That is a HUGE accomplishment! And just think, you and dh will have an even bigger celebration to make in JUST ONE YEAR!!!

 

As to the small house, here's an opposite thought: "Because I live in such a stinkin' small house, I am able to pay it off quickly and live free more quickly as such a young age! And I can do with it what I want after that - make repairs/renos when needed, because I will have the money for it instead of paying the bank back."

 

And as for the "he only made a job for himself," well, "that's just great! I created my very own job with my very own money and now I get to pay for my house and vehicle!!! whooohoooo!!!!" Who cares if it's not a big company - it's what your family needs, and what a blessing!

 

I was just talking to a new friend yesterday and she was telling me they moved their family thousands of miles so they could have a cheaper place to live - they paid off all their debt and bought a nicer house here, mortgage free. She said she doesn't like to mention that to people because she doesn't want people to feel bad, but I said I thought it was great - smart move on their part, to get their family out from under that pressure.

 

 

 

You'll probably always pale in comparison, and you can't change how he thinks. You just hope that someday something will change in his attitude toward you, but you go on and celebrate with your husband and find others to celebrate with you so you don't go crazy waiting to see if your father will change. :)

 

You can take Colleen in NS's words to the bank . . . she's amazing in more ways than just figuring out how to educate classically. If I could stretch a buck like Colleen, well . . . we'd own our house in a jiffy as well.

 

Happy Dancing over here!

 

T

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KatieJ

KatieJ

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Everyone has already said it very well, but really, you and your husband have done an outstanding job setting your goals and acomplishing them.

Someday you may find out how your DAd really feels. After my Dad passed my Mom told me some things he had said about my Hubby. Good things I wish we had heard when he was alive, but alas, it didn't happen that way.

Congratulations on a job well done!

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StaceyinLA

StaceyinLA

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My husband is just a "blue collar worker" in the technical sense, though he does run an electrical business that his dad started. In the last few years, he made a commitment to get us out of debt. To do so, he worked TWO jobs for about 4 years. We are debt free except for our house as well, and, on a mere $60k/year (which I know is more than some), we are raising 5 kids, providing them cars and insurance, helping them with college, and now helping the oldest with a 2-month early preemie that no one was quite prepared for yet!!

 

It's always tight, but God always manages to provide for us (either with bonuses and extra money when we need it, or with opportunities to earn extra that dh readily takes). I thank God for my husband and how hard he has worked for us.

 

There is NOTHING wrong with being proud of what yall have accomplished, AND being proud of your husband! Being debt free is something to be proud of in this day and age!

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