Which is easier to raise? Boys or Girls

[JWSJ]

We used to believe boys were harder to raise.

 

Until our daughter arrived.

 

Now, we definitely agree girls are more difficult. It's mostly due to her range of emotions.

 

But, we only have three years data to compare from one child to another.

 

What has been your experience?

[JaniceO]

Well, I have 3 boys and 1 girl, and even though my experience is as limited as yours (my daughter is only 3.5), I would have to say that boys are easier so far.

 

My daughter is SO different than the boys were at her age. She craves information, where the boys were more interested in playing. She can go from happy to raging fit (and back again, lol) in less than 5 seconds. She's more needy and at the same time more independant than they were/are.

 

The differences are just amazing. I have always heard that girls start out smarter (in general) than boys, but I never believed it. Until I had my daughter. She just picks things up so easily. She has more of an imagination than my boys did at that age. She questions EVERYTHING.

 

Also, thinking of the future, I imagine it will be harder to keep her on the right path because we live in a world that is bombarded with "bad girl" images. My daughter is quick to form her own opinions and already likes to argue with us.

 

I am SO, SO glad that we had our daughter. I am also just as glad that we only had one girl, lol.

[gandpsmommy]

I don't think anyone can accurately say which are harder to raise. While it is possible to generalize certain major characteristics among most members of each gender, each child is a unique individual who will most likely defy many of those generalizations (and probably different ones than his brother, or her sister, or the neighbor kid next door). Additionally, different challenges present themselves at each stage of development. I don't think either gender is "easier" or "more difficult" to raise as much as just different.

[Cranberry]

I voted neither. I only have boys right now, so my vote may not count for much, though. :001_smile:

 

I suspect that there are stages where each is more challenging than the other. For instance boys may be more challenging as toddlers in comparison to girl toddlers. But as a mom of boys only, I'll be happy when 13 comes along and I don't have a 13 yr old girl with PMS. :tongue_smilie: Wow, I know what I was like during that time.

[JudoMom]

As a broad generalization, I've heard that boys will wear you out physically, while girls will wear you out emotionally.

 

I don't know if it's a matter of easier or harder, but different. Also, there is a wide range of ease of parenting within the same gender. Each of my boys presents his own unique parenting challenge, and one particular boy generally takes about 75%-80% of our parenting energy.

[Heather in Neverland]

Well, based on my experiences, those of my friends, what my mom says and what I've seen from years of being a teacher....girls are easier when they are young but boys are easier when they hit the teenage years. At least that's how it is from what I've seen.

[Carrie12345]

I voted boys, but this could be because my boys are almost 9 years apart, while my girls are 13 months apart (and in between the boys). My dds' issues tend to come in big clumps, while I get a 9 year break between "boy issues".

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think they are just different. In our home, our daughter is most certainly easier; but our daughter is probably THE easiest child on the whole face of the earth and my son was quite challenging compared to most challenging kids (we are fortunate our hard work paid off and he's not anywhere close to "typical" as a teen though but it's in a good direction).

[JFSinIL]

I have two of each. Boys are easier. Teen boys are sweetie pies in contrast to hormonal evil girls. AAARRGHHH!!!http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/images/smilies/willy_nilly.gif

 

Now - why did my emoticon end up as a link instead of a frantic little bit of animation?

[JFSinIL]

:willy_nilly:

 

There.

[MamaT]

I have four boys and two girls. I would have to say that boys require more physical energy, but girls require much more emotional and mental energy. I have a highly emotional 12yo dd who is a drama queen right now, though.:001_smile:

 

I voted girls are harder, but that's just my experience. I know all children are individual and unique.

[gandpsmommy]

I have two of each. Boys are easier. Teen boys are sweetie pies in contrast to hormonal evil girls. AAARRGHHH!!!http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/images/smilies/willy_nilly.gif

 

Now - why did my emoticon end up as a link instead of a frantic little bit of animation?

 

I don't know about that. My sisters and I were practically angels as teenagers, whereas my brother caused quite a few emotional turmoils for my parents.

[KidsHappen]

Well, based on my experiences, those of my friends, what my mom says and what I've seen from years of being a teacher....girls are easier when they are young but boys are easier when they hit the teenage years. At least that's how it is from what I've seen.

 

:iagree: For the most part, I agree with this as a general statement applying to most boys and girls. Should you have a difficult teen, it matters not whether they are a boy or girl. Sure the risks are somewhat different depending on their gender but you still fear of their life and safety every moment of every day.

[katemary63]

I voted neither:

 

I have 3 girls and one boy and in my experience: BOYS!!!!!!!!

 

My best friend has 2 boys and 1 girl and in her experience: GIRLS!!!!!!

 

I could wrap up ALL my girls and double the trouble they gave me and still not hit the level of anxiety and difficulty my son caused during his growing up years. He's 22 now, doing well, and a joy to me, but I still feel like I'm waiting for a bomb to drop with him. My DH and I have wondered out loud if we will ever stop worrying ( more then is normal for any child ) about DS. We think not, but we are praying so!

 

( I admit, my youngest DD is only 8, but she is so compliant and so much fun, I can't imagine things will go south with her. Over my dead body they will! I can't go through THAT again! :lol: )

[Katiebug_1976]

I think it depends on what gender you have first. We had 2 girls, then our son came along and turned my world upside down! He is so drastically different than the girls! He is now 9, and seems to be mellowing out some, but from the beginning he has always seemed to need more attention etc. than the girls. We have had 2 more girls since our boy was born, and our older girls are hitting their teens , so this will be a whole new experience too. While I don't think I would say that boys are harder than girls to raise, or vice versa, I will say that there is a DRASTIC difference between the two! I think since we had girls first, that was "the norm" for us until ds was born.

[Tracey in TX]

We have 2 boys and 3 girls, very close in age. Boys, without a doubt, are easier to parent IME. Two of my girls are as physical as boys, just not as stinky or muddy.:tongue_smilie: However, boys aren't catty. They're mad, fight (not necessarily in a literal sense) and it's done. Girls, OTOH, bicker, cat fight, make up, but still hold a grudge. There are also mind games that girls play. I don't understand it, but it starts really young--sometimes preschool or kindergarten.

 

My boys are a breeze compared to my little lovely ladies!

 

 

ETA: DS was the easiest baby. DD, born a year later, was in a bad mood from birth. LOL The triplets are B/G/G. B is easy going, and the girls are feisty and competitive. My vote is definitely skewed! (btw, tough week to ask this question :P)

Edited April 2, 2009 by Tracey in TX

[Jenny in Florida]

I have a boy and a girl. I always say that my kids are equally challenging, but in completely different ways.

 

My daughter absolutely exhausted me with the emotional stuff when she was younger, and still gets to me every now and then.

 

My son, on the other hand, physically wore me out just trying to keep him safe when he was little. He climbed before he walked, and his mission in life when he was tiny appeared to be to do the most dangerous thing in the room.

 

But, even those are broad generalizations. My son has his emotional stuff, too. His seems to be going on longer, but is not as intense as my daughter's was.

 

The thing that has saved me so far is that they don't usually go insane at the same time. For example, when my daughter was going through the worst of her emotional/behavioral challenges, my son was a cute toddler. By the time he first started driving me really nuts, she was in a smooth patch.

 

At the moment my daughter is pretty easy. (It helps that she's not here most of the time.) Every now and then, we'll go through a few days of crisis, but mostly it's okay these days. Meanwhile, my son is having big emotional growing pains that require nearly constant attention.

 

If they ever both blow at the same time, I'll probably curl up in a fetal position and whimper.

[swellmomma]

I have 2 and 2, and have to say while my boys drive me insane somedays with the weird things they think up doing (such as when ds decided to test my claims that he would break his neck if he fell off the roof...by jumping off of it) I can handle that WAY more than my dd's mood-swings and drama. The attitude that a girl has is way way harder to deal with than the crazy hyperness of a boy. Of course add ADHD etc into the mix with both my oldest boy and oldest girl and the issues that they drive me batty on are amplified. Over all though I would raise 10 more boys before I raised anymore girls, I would like to keep the little but of sanity I have left.

[myfunnybunch]

I voted "neither."

 

The challenges are sometimes very different. But in our family, both the boys and the girls have been challenging (and rewarding) to raise.

 

Cat

[Jenny in Florida]

:iagree: For the most part, I agree with this as a general statement applying to most boys and girls. Should you have a difficult teen, it matters not whether they are a boy or girl. Sure the risks are somewhat different depending on their gender but you still fear of their life and safety every moment of every day.

 

So funny. So far, my experience has been the opposite. My daughter, who caused us so much trouble when she was under 10, is now almost no problem.

 

On the other hand, my son, who was easy when he was little (except for the constant worry of him falling off of something), seems to be ramping up for an emotional teenhood.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Well, I have all boys so I didn't vote because I have no idea. :) However, I've always observed from other families that it appeared that girls are harder due to the emotions and hormones. Boys are physical but not usually ones to go through the emotionally mood swings. Give me the physical! LOL I've seldom enjoyed many relationships with girls as I did with boys. Girls are just too much emotional work as friends. :)

 

My mother and I have had several discussions about this though because she had an opposite experience. I had a bit of my emotions and weirdness but all in all I'd say I was pretty easy to raise. My brother was completely the opposite and was about 8 1/2 years younger than me. We are the exception to the rules. :)

[danybug]

I selected boys. But it actually probably is not a fair assessment, since our dd is only 20 months. But from what I can tell with my two dc so far, is that my dd is much harder to manage. They are like night and day.

 

My dh and I are amazed at the inherent "girl" traits that are already evident in our dd. It is going to be interesting to see how the differences play out through the teen years with them both.

 

The other thing that I think is important to think about it just the variances in personality that really shape the behavior of kids. A lot of those variables I think are easy to just chalk up to being the differences between sexes.

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I have all boys, but grew up in a family of all girls. It definitely depends on the personality of the parents as well as the personality of the kids. My Dad always said that God knew he couldn't handle boys. He doesn't do noise/chaos/mess (*especially* at the dinner table!) and also would have had really high expectations of boys. He is really enjoying my boys in smaller doses and without the parental responsibility. :)

 

Many parents don't do well with the emotional stuff girls hit during adolescence, though I have to say that I ended up with an emotional/non-stop talker/imaginative boy and my sister has a quiet, unemotional girl, so....

 

If I were going to paint broad strokes, I'd say that young boys are difficult (energy, noise, chaos...) and older girls are also difficult (emotionally).

[Greta]

...it is because they are much more controlling and protective of their girls than they are with their boys. I'm not saying that with regard to anyone on these boards, but a few people I know IRL including MY OWN PARENTS! I've seen many times how parents have higher standards of behavior for their daughters than they do for their sons (girls are supposed to always be sweet and polite while "boys will be boys"). Parents who treat their daughters and sons the same way, in my experience, are the ones who will say that one is not harder than the other, they are just different.

 

Furthermore, it seems to be generally acknowledged that girls mature faster than boys, so I think it's pretty natural that a teenage girl is going to be seeking independence. But a parent's desire to protect her often results in them being overly controlling, setting up a situation filled with resentments and and strife . . . and then we claim girls are so difficult when, at least to some degree, the parenting is to blame. This is where my own emotional hangups come in, because at the age of 16 my parents were still quite literally treating me like I was 6. But they sure as heck didn't do that with my brothers.

 

I voted "neither" in the poll. I only have a daughter myself, so I can't compare from personal parenting experience. I can only compare what I see around me and in my experience growing up. My parents would say that both are hard, it just shows up earlier in girls than it does in boys.

[Danestress]

Obviously every child is an individual, but don't you think that what people perceive as easy or hard about raising their children is partly base on their own personality?

 

I didn't find boy energy and activity hard. It didn't seem like a big deal to me to deal with the rambunctious boy years, but I think the girl crying and emoting would just make me nuts. But I hear Mom make a lot of comments that imply that boys are much harder than girls for them. I think we Moms all have different abilities to deal with different difficult parts of child raising.

 

I also think that when a child has a contrary personality, it's harder on the same sex parent. I notice a lot that when girls are teens, they seem to make their mother's crazy, but their fathers often think the mothers are part of the problem and get along with the daughter better than the Mom does. It seems like when a boy goes through a rough spot, it's harder on the father. I know that was true of both my own family of origin and my current family.

[dcjlkplus3]

Keep in mind - my only boy just turned 4.

My daughters are both VERY emotional and I know they will also become VERY hormonal.

My son is physical, so we have rules about hitting, but he doesn't stay upset the way girls sometimes do.

[Jugglin'5]

Obviously every child is an individual, but don't you think that what people perceive as easy or hard about raising their children is partly base on their own personality?

 

I didn't find boy energy and activity hard. It didn't seem like a big deal to me to deal with the rambunctious boy years, but I think the girl crying and emoting would just make me nuts. But I hear Mom make a lot of comments that imply that boys are much harder than girls for them. I think we Moms all have different abilities to deal with different difficult parts of child raising.

 

I also think that when a child has a contrary personality, it's harder on the same sex parent. I notice a lot that when girls are teens, they seem to make their mother's crazy, but their fathers often think the mothers are part of the problem and get along with the daughter better than the Mom does. It seems like when a boy goes through a rough spot, it's harder on the father. I know that was true of both my own family of origin and my current family.

 

Wise post. :iagree: I think I'm a better "boy mom". Rambunctiousness doesn't bother me, but emotional angst stuff does. DH does better with the girls.

[Guest Katia]

I voted girls are easier.

 

I have three dc:

 

24yo Boy

 

19yo Girl

 

16yo Girl

 

The girls have been way, way easier. Whatever all this catty, 'mind' stuff everyone is talking about is.....I've never seen it in my girls although I see it on tv and in adult women all the time!

 

They have hormonal days, who doesn't? But they aren't emotional all the time or unreasonable or anything else. They are just fun to be with, busy within the fields of their interests and work hard at their school work....

 

The boy, otoh.......he is unbelievably smart, creative, great imagination and just a super-nice guy....with quirks. Do it my way or he'll manage to ruin your day/trip/experience/holiday.....he's been like this since birth. When he was a teen (and his 'teen' years started when he was 9yo!) he drove us to distraction first with super emotional stuff, then bad depression, then his refusal to do anything but play Everquest on the computer. (that one lasted several years). After 5 1/2 years, we wondered if he would ever get through college; it was drama after drama after drama....you get the picture.

 

Sigh. He's turned into a nice young man with a good job, friends and outside interests, but he was really, really hard to raise.

 

In my experience, girls are easier. And much more reasonable. Boys are not just from another planet, but a whole different solar system!

[Greta]

Obviously every child is an individual, but don't you think that what people perceive as easy or hard about raising their children is partly base on their own personality?

 

I didn't find boy energy and activity hard. It didn't seem like a big deal to me to deal with the rambunctious boy years, but I think the girl crying and emoting would just make me nuts. But I hear Mom make a lot of comments that imply that boys are much harder than girls for them. I think we Moms all have different abilities to deal with different difficult parts of child raising.

 

You're absolutely right, and I wasn't even considering this when I made my post. (Sorry!) For me, the emotional stuff isn't as hard to handle as the rowdy chaos stuff. I am a quiet peace-valuing person by nature, so boys would probably be harder for me. But sadly I will never know because my dd is my only. :(

 

I also think that when a child has a contrary personality, it's harder on the same sex parent. I notice a lot that when girls are teens, they seem to make their mother's crazy, but their fathers often think the mothers are part of the problem and get along with the daughter better than the Mom does. It seems like when a boy goes through a rough spot, it's harder on the father. I know that was true of both my own family of origin and my current family.

 

I definitely butted heads more with my mom when I was a teen, while my dad was easier to turn to. I'll have to ask my dad if he felt my brothers were harder. Interesting.

[Sasharowan]

My daughter is much more difficult than my two oldest boys, different needs. I thought it was due to her being a girl, but about half of what made her difficult, my ds3 is showing too, only twice as stubborn about it. I blame them on dh's blood.

[5knights3maidens]

I said boys are easier. We have 5 boys and 3 girls. #5 is a girl and is very easy to get along with, talk to, etc. #7 and #8 are girls and they are already moody ... can't wait until the teenage years with these 2. :tongue_smilie:

[Melissa in Australia]

I voted other.

I will let you know when I have finished raising them. I really can't tell until then. I have found out though that certain ages are worse than other ages. and funnily enough they all seem to be odd numbers. 3, 7, 13.

[kewb]

I chose other. I have a son and a daughter. They both have things that are easy about them and things that are challenging. I don't think you can pigeon hole either sex as being easier.

[Impish]

I voted 'neither' because honestly, it depends on the day/hour/minute you ask me. I use my kids nics here: Diva, Tazzie, and Princess. All representative of their personalities, and all pretty self explanatory. All my children are active, bright, and seemingly bent on making me nuts.

 

I blame my dh. :tongue_smilie:

 

They're a wonderful crew of kids, and I wouldn't change them for the world, even if now and then I've been heard to mutter, "Fish. I should have stuck to raising fish. You can flush fish. Or tomatoes. You can eat tomatoes." Those moments pass, and the good ones stick.

[Nestof3]

Well, I'd like to say boys are harder to raise (to give myself an excuse), but I really don't know.

 

I'm sure much has to do with temperament. My parents were quite lenient with me, and though I "sassed back" (much of it was just communication to me), I was responsible, did very well in school, was the best employee of a company at the age of 16, and cleaned up after myself. I got into some things b/c my parents were so lenient, but I really think if I had been parented like I am parenting, I would not have.

 

My brother was a slob, rude, disrespectful, etc.

 

Though I have no girls, I love my boys. I do look forward to having lovely daughters-in-law some day. I cannot wait for that. :)

[Sophia]

Girls are easier in this family.

 

I love my boys; couldn't live without 'em, but man they wear me out!

[Catherine]

classify the difficulties based on gender. Some kids are simply more challenging than others, and honestly I think it seems more individual. They ALL have their phases. And, yes, I'd have to agree that toddler boys are pretty darn exhausting. When I saw my friend with one, I had to wonder how I actually did it.

[Peela]

I have heard that boys are harder until teens- then girls are harder.

 

My girl, my firstborn, has always been an easygoing and easy to parent child. Even as a teen...she is pretty good so far. Ds on the other hand, has always been a challenge, and now he is 13, it's getting harder- more boy energy!

 

For me, my boy has always been a lot harder, but that doesn't mean all boys are.

[ChrisN in NY]

I have three of each: Boy, boy, girl, girl, girl, boy, boy.

 

Based on my experience with my kids, it's all about personality. My oldest ds would have bitten off his nose to spite his face until he was about 17. He hit the terrible two's at 10 months and kept at it for over two years. My second dd is just like him.

 

Ds2 didn't hit the terrible twos until he was 4 and it lasted only a couple months. He hit the cranky teenage boy stuff kinda late too, but it should be over soon -- I hope.

 

Dd1 was the most easy-going baby ever, and she's been wonderful as a teen. If every teen girl was like her, no one would complain about having daughters.

 

Dd2 is gonna keep me on my toes; I tell her I've done this before and I'll do it again.

 

Dd3 is kind of in the middle of the two girls. We'll see what happens.

 

Ds3 is definitely the proverbial baby of the family. And he's so darn cute!