If you knew when you started homeschooling

[Melmc]

what you know now, is there anything you would done differently?

 

I'm in the process of discerning whether to homeschool or not (definitely on the yes side right now) and trying to learn as much as I can from others' experiences. Thanks!

[Michelle T]

in curriculum, especially math. I would have done more fun stuff. I probably would have done more unit studies. I would definitely have stressed character and chores/helping around house more.

 

Of course, I still have quite a bit of time before I'll be done schooling, so I can still do these things!

Michelle T

[momofkhm]

Maybe I just have smart, good kids, but this is such a wonderful thing! WE all enjoy it. Yes, it is work, but we all love it and really don't want to go back to school by someone else's schedule. Yes, there are hard days too. Yes, I wish I had chosen different math from the get-go for ds and to just go with my first thought for dd this year. BUT it has all turned out to be fine. Better than fine! We love it!

[Rebecca in GA]

I would have read lots more picture books, Mother Goose rhymes and children's poetry.

 

I would have read all Charlotte Mason's books earlier and followed her methods of education sooner.

 

I would have been more organized early on.

 

I would have stuck with a good, basic math curriculum instead of trying to force Saxon on my children and myself.

 

I would have not been so influenced by the idea of the Next Big Thing that I wasted thousands of dollars on curriculum that had about as much chance of working for us as Mike Huckabee has of getting to the White House.

[Beth in Central TX]

I agree with Cheryl; I would have brought them home sooner. My oldest went to ps for Kindergarten and 1st grade. It wasn't a totally bad experience, but it wasn't great either. Unfortunately, he was encouraged to spell creatively, and he still cannot spell THEIR to save his life!

[mamato3 all-boy boys]

....& focus on the three Rs. We used Sonlight K for my ds1's K year, and now that I'm beginning K for my ds2, I am not concerned with finishing or even using all of K. It is a great program, lots of fun things to learn, but I'd certainly be more trusting of my "gut" to know what to continue with, what to drop, and when to allow myself to veer off the schedule and smell the roses.

[prairiegirl]

I wouldn't have been so structured with my oldest when she was in K and Gr. 1. I would have given her more time to be a 5 yr. old and do 5 yr. old things, like painting, playdoh, playing outside. We did read lots so I didn't mess up in that area.

 

At least I learned this early, so I could do it the right way with my youngest two. Whew!

 

Julia

mom of 3 (8,7,5)

[Deeke]

1)That even though I could do it all, I didnt need to do it all and neither did my kids.

2)Kids can learn quite a bit through play and that it is valuable, pure fun play, unstructured and unscheduled, and even sometime unsupervised(real fun).

 

A very structured WTM'r turned relaxed, eclectic, and sooo wanna-be-unschooler.

 

:)

[pianoplayer]

If I had known when we started what I know now (nine years later):

 

I would have utilized classical homeschooling from the beginning rather than switching mid-stream (although I'm very glad that we have switched).

 

We would NOT have started with BJUP Math. We switched our oldest in mid-elementary to Ray's and have been quite pleased with what both children have learned from Ray's, although if we had it to do over again, we might well use Singapore instead.

 

I would gulp very, very hard, knowing full well the work involved . . . but I would most definitely still homeschool. :)

[Chris in VA]

More field trips. Remembering our motto, which is, roughly,

Small things, done over time, if they are the right things, produce lovely results.

I'd get my high schooler into an excellent writing class, and find a tutor for Latin. Foreign languages are HARD at home when no one is a native speaker.

I would've brought my middle child home when he asked me. He's in juvenile detention now. Could've should've would've can be a discouraging game to play, but it's good to learn from others.

[Excelsior! Academy]

I would've trusted my instints more and listened to "well meaning" advice less.

[Harriet Vane]

First and foremost, I would have maintained certain boundaries around our school time. We have had nearly four years of family crisis due to my aunt's brain tumor. Had I any clue that it would be a marathon rather than a sprint, I would not have compromised so much on school at the beginning of the crisis. I do believe in making compromises for emergencies--and we have had MANY legitimate emergencies. However, I wish I had discerned a little better at the beginning what was truly an emergency and what was not.

 

Two other changes:

 

--I would have worked harder at maintaining organized records and supplies. This, again, was due to the large amount of time spent managing the family crises.

 

--I would have given up on Singapore math much sooner. I think it's a great curriculum for the math-minded (I suspect my ds would do well with it) but it was a terrible fit for my poor dd. I wish I had given up BEFORE she hit a wall so bad it took us a solid year and a half to rebuild/relearn. She has been thriving with Math-U-See and lots of fun math games.

[debbiec]

Not be so schedule driven, trying to get it all in, every day. Do more projects.

[WTMindy]

always feel like I *should* say that I wish I was more relaxed when the kids were younger. But, honestly, I think the structure we had when they were little, lead to habits that make it easier to have structure now. When I look back, I actually feel pretty good about what we did. We read a lot, sang a lot, enjoyed learning a lot, and set some good habits. My kids don't think everything we do is fun, but they don't complain much.

[ncmomo3]

I wouldn't have pushed the academics quite sooo very hard (I felt like I had things to prove to others and myself)

 

I would have listened to everything I had been reading and would have written a mission/purpose statement; The main goal, if you will, of why we were homeschooling. It seemed silly to me at the time, but now I can see how I may have made different choices had I been more focused concerning our reasons for homeschooling in the first place.

[Debra in CO]

If I had known then what I know now, I could have chosen other curriculum to use with my oldest because it would have been published, LOL.

 

Seriously, there isn't much I'd change. I don't think I was *too* structured with my oldest.

 

There have been issues I wish I had recognized sooner. My oldest and his spelling difficulties, for instance. My second son and his reading issues is the other big one. I wish I had started to be really serious about those earlier than I was, but they are both still young and we are working on it.

 

I wish I was more consistent with my younger kids now. I wish I knew a way to make my 2 year old nap. Everyone is far more pleasant when she naps. There are one or two curriculum purchases I would take back if I could.

 

But there really isn't anything major.

 

If I had known then what I know now, I think I would have been more anxious about getting started.

 

Debra

Mom of five, ages 2-10

[rafiki]

nt

[chiguirre]

I would have liked to have realized that I wasn't going to get everything right the first time. Until you start hsing, you won't have a firm grasp of what works for you as a teacher and your kids as students. A certain amount of curriculum hopping, style changing, and schedule modifying is unavoidable. Don't worry about getting behind your first year, you'll catch up when you get your rhythm.

[Heather in Neverland]

I would have dumped Saxon math sooner.

 

I would have streamlined more (we are more LCC-ish now).

[KAR120C]

I'll be the tenth to say "trust myself". It bears repeating. :)

 

Read the advice, appreciate the shared experiences, but really... no one else has your kids, no one knows them as well as you do, and no one can really tell you what will work and what won't. I am hugely appreciative of all the many many many ideas that I've gathered from other homeschooling parents, but in the end the plan that works will always be the one that takes our little quirks and uniquenesses into account, and I'm the only one that can do that!

[Lisawa]

what you know now, is there anything you would done differently?

 

I'm in the process of discerning whether to homeschool or not (definitely on the yes side right now) and trying to learn as much as I can from others' experiences. Thanks!

 

 

a few things....I would have concentrated on basics, character and interests in elementary with my oldest 2. I didn’t begin that till around 4th grade when I finally got a clue home schooling doesn’t have to be just school at home. My youngest has had the better teacher thats for sure...

 

I also would not have worried about socialization and needing to be in a group at this age....elementary ages. I have 3 children and they were very, very close when young.....I would rather have a home centered home school early on and branch out as they got older... I found being too involved actually took away from our own goals.…. and made life more hectic than I would have liked back then. Not that we wouldn’t have done group field trips or anything like that... but I wouldn’t have worried about doing things with other kids that were group or class related. I would saved that for Jr. high and up ages.

 

*Ü*

[Lisawa]

I'll be the tenth to say "trust myself". It bears repeating. :)

 

Read the advice, appreciate the shared experiences, but really... no one else has your kids, no one knows them as well as you do, and no one can really tell you what will work and what won't. I am hugely appreciative of all the many many many ideas that I've gathered from other homeschooling parents, but in the end the plan that works will always be the one that takes our little quirks and uniquenesses into account, and I'm the only one that can do that!

 

 

Amen! I agree... trust yourself.... and your hubby...

[G5052]

I wish I had been a little easier on myself and my oldest especially in the first years. Just like starting any new "job," it takes awhile to get it, and you will get better over time.

 

I've also learned that there's no shame in sticking with what works if its getting the results you want and if it's working for you as the teacher. Don't assume that the newest is truly better, or that what others on this board will fit your situation. Honest assessment of you and your children should always overrule as well. Some of us aren't cut out for certain choices.

[Tess in the Burbs]

1) Not research too much. Honestly, when we planned to homeschool I started researching. The kids were only 2 and a baby. What seemed good then was not even in my radar years later, lol.

 

Once I read WTM I knew I wanted to try this option. But I still spend hours a month considering other options. Like that darn Sonlight....I can't throw the catalog away. Can't buy their stuff either, lol. It would mess up my current track.

 

2)Things are good for us right now and I can say the one thing I have learned this year doing both kids is simple works. Should be make science more fun. Maybe, but they just want to play so the faster the lesson the better. Could I expand math into games? Sure, but we would all prefer something else like building with tinker toys. So for us, simple works. We don't have the fluff like lapbooks and 10 experiments per subject. I want to add it in, but life prevails and we only get the basics done anyway. I know our school life will change over the years, but for now accepting that simple is best is working.

[JWSJ]

We would have started sooner!

 

It has been great, we love it!

 

Yes, do trust yourself.

[StephanieZ]

I am really happy with our homeschool and can't regret anything, but if I knew then what I know now, I'd have been easier on *myself* when my we were starting out.

 

(We've always homeschooled, so that would be K-1, etc with my oldest, while the younger ones were babies/toddlers. . .). My dc all had a great time with all that history, science, projects, etc from early ages, but I'd have taken it easier on myself so I could have spent a bit more time relaxing, playing with the babies, etc.

 

I realize now that there is *truly* no rush on those topics (or really any topics!) and that my dc thrive and accelerate and learn *so much* with so much less school time than I would have thought we'd require.

 

So, my advice to new hs'ers is to be gentle on yourself and your dc (assuming you're a type A overahiever like many of the moms on this board. I doubt a lot of slacker let-the-kids-rot-their-brains-on-TV-all-day-while-I-watch-TV-in-my-room moms read these boards!)

[swimnactmom]

1. I didn't start sooner with my youngest (started in 4th grade.)

 

2. I never got a chance to home school my (now) 10th grader (has always been private schooled.)

 

Because we started a little late, I think there was learning that did not happen at the optimal time. I'm trying my best to help my ds be the best that he can be.

[St. Theophan Academy]

Mine are still young, and I don't have too many things I would change, but I like to keep this poem in mind each day, so the regrets and "I wish I would haves" will not be so many in the future:

 

If I had my child to raise over again

 

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I'd finger-paint more and point the finger less.

 

I'd do less correcting and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

 

I would care to know less and know to care more.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

 

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

 

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.

 

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd teach less about the love of power, And more about the power of love.

 

Yes math and latin are important, yes I want my kids to go to college and be "successful" but this poem and a quote from St. John Chrysostom help me focus when I get too bogged down in what curriculum to choose etc.

 

“The primary goal in the education of children is to teach,

and to give example of, a virtuous life.â€

- St. John Chrysostom

[OnTheBrink]

I would've trusted my instincts more and listened to "well meaning" advice less.

 

 

Amen. I was going to post this myself.

 

And, I would have pulled my son out of ps much sooner than I did.

 

Other things:

 

I don't have to adhere to ONE philosophy or method; it's ok to take what works and discard what doesn't.

 

I don't have to buy every cool thing that comes down the pike.

 

I know my kids best; it doesn't matter (much) that a friend's kids are doing this or that--I don't have to compete with or imitate their home schooling plan.

[Fourmother]

My main regret has nothing to do with curriculum or even the kids. I wish I had started off by carving out some time and space in my life for myself. Being with your children every waking minute of every single day is a beautiful thing, but it can also slowly driving you insane. I don't remember seeing this addressed in any homeschool how-to book I've ever read. Burn-out is the dirty little secret of homeschooling. (Granted, it isn't a problem for everyone.) Preventing burn-out in the first place has got to be easier than revitalizing a physically and emotionally exhausted mom. If I were starting over today I would definitely include consistent mom-care and regular mental health days in all my lesson plans.

[Kate CA]

what you know now, is there anything you would done differently?

 

I'm in the process of discerning whether to homeschool or not (definitely on the yes side right now) and trying to learn as much as I can from others' experiences. Thanks!

 

Oh I would encourage you to do it!! I love it.

 

These are my "Ten things we wish we believed about homeschooling when we first started."

Numbers 10 & 9

Numbers 8 & 7

Numbers 6 & 5

Numbers 4 & 3

Numbers 2 & 1

 

:)

Kate

[TMarie]

I would have taught my children from the beginning that we do our core work & chores first. In those early years it was so easy to play first then do our work later in the day.

 

Bad habits are hard to change. ;)

[kalanamak]

Filler: What do you get when you set off a bomb in a French kitchen?

 

Linoleum Blown-apart

[Testimony]

I am figuring it out now. I always start off great and end up terrible.

 

Karen

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[elegantlion]

My ds did prek and Kind in private school. I wish we had kept him home for Kind. I would have done a few things differently.

 

 

• trust myself
  
• research more methods of homeschooling instead of following what my friends were using
  
• read more good books together
  
• more field trips
  
• re-evaluated what we were using after one year and made the curriculum switch then

 

[Julie in GA]

however, I don't regret what I did in a huge way. I just had to learn and find my style, which has probably also changed due to the number of children we have (and Baby #6 is due in October!).

 

Don't worry about getting everything right at the start. You will make changes as you go along. You will change curriculum at least once ;), and you will find that different methods work for different learning styles.

 

Bring them home, and have fun!

 

Blessings,

[Diana in OR]

I would have been a little more structured. Not a lot, but I think it would have an effect now on my dcs' study habits (or lack therof).

 

I would not have persevered through 1st grade with a math that I didn't like and was difficult for me to teach (Miquon). I initially chose it based on glowing recommendations from other hsers. I should have gotten rid of it as soon as I realized it wasn't working for me. I believe I didn't lay a strong enough foundation for the math for ds.

 

As Christina said, I would have started with a standardized test, rather than wait until 3rd (in our case 4th) grade when it is required by the State.

 

I also second all the recs for taking field trips. My dc have been able to go lots of places and do lots of things they would have missed out on in ps. (My all-time favorite field trip was to the Kettle Chip factory. Nothing tastes as good as a Kettle Chip right out of the cooker :) )

[ABQmom]

One thing I really regret is trying to do history with my dd when she was in first grade. I wait until third grade to require much out my children for history now. If I had that to do over, I might start with American history and just read some of the great books that are out there for that time period. History really turned around for us when I started reading good books out loud to the kids.

 

I would not have used 100 easy lessons to teach my dd to read.

 

The things I love that we did early on are trips to the zoo and arboretum. Unit studies that we did. And, having a schedule whereby we finished our work early, and played the rest of the day.

[Closeacademy]

The big one would have been to back off-way off.

 

I would have relaxed more in preK to 1st and just concentrated on the 3 r's and reading good books to my child. I would not have pushed reading.

 

We would have just spent time working through Singapore Math, going over phonograms and working on penmanship. There would have been plenty of time for play and fun stuff.

 

I also would have discovered SWR when my oldest was in preschool.

[Begonia]

I let my dd finish 5th grade at a private elementary school. She came home miserable and crying most afternoons. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her "graduate" from elementary school. :o:eek::mad: She's been home for two years now and she's much, much happier. :) We learned that what she really wants to do, and what she couldn't do at school because she was over-scheduled, is read books of her own choice and write fabulous, intricate stories. I feel so sorry that we ever thought to send this child to school.

[kdeno]

but I would make things more fun and use more unit studies vs classical. There is a lot about classical that I like but I overkilled in K and 1st.

 

K

[JESSICAinMD]

I would have reserved my library books online instead of searching in the library just to find that the books I wanted were already checked on. It is so much easier! I wouldn't buy something just because everyone else loved it.

[LisaKinVA]

I required way too much "book work" for my oldest in K/1st (tests and all).

 

I would focus on reading and math... and do the SOTW history CDs, K12 art, music and science.

 

We've made major modifications for my K and PK children, and we are all much happier.

[Unicorn.]

1. I would have started sooner, meaning never putting them in public school at all.

2. This year I'm learning that we get more done than I thought we did, and learning doesn't have to come from a structured schedule and books.

3. Take the time to really go and look at math curriculums, including teachers manuals if any, before choosing one. Same for science. (yes I am a curriculum junkie)

 

Those are my top three, if I could only do one- it would be to start from the beginning (k).

[Lenora in MD]

I would have relaxed and had more fun during the early years. I would have spent a lot more time doing nature study and being outside. I wish I had understood Charlotte Mason's philosophy better before I began and I wish I could have applied it better in the beginning. I think I would have enjoyed homeschooling more if I had.

[Rhondabee]

I thought I was the only one who would dare to think such a thing!

 

When my older son was in K and 1st, I hs'd using materials from the Moore Foundation, and I paid an ungodly amount of money to talk to Ruth Beechick every month.

 

We did no phonics, no math, no reading, no writing.... and we quit. We did lots of science, lots of hands-on, lots of bible, *lots* of science - and we had FUN! But, the basics weren't there and, although other people might have pressed on, I just couldn't sit back any longer and wait for my ds to "pick up on it himself".

 

He was in school from mid-1st to mid-5th.

 

If I could go back in time to the day I was in the homeschool store trying to find something for Kindergarten, I would whisper in my ear, "Don't balk at the size of the WTM book. Just buy it!!!" I distinctly remember thinking, "NO WAY!" when I saw the book that day.

 

Funny how times change!

[godpoetry]

I would read more and do more fun and games when they were young. I would stick with just the basics.

[Melmc]

These are so great! Thank you. I look forward to reading what others have to say.