Mama2Three Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I was shopping with my 4 yo DD at Lakeshore Learning, which is a teacher supply store. While I was picking out a world map for our wall (we start FIAR on Monday, yea!), DD was perusing the discount table. She found a doll that she liked and asked if she could have it. I took a quick glimpse -- it was packaged in a brown cardboard box with only a small photo on it. From the photo, it looked like a small doll that you could dress up. Since we were using a Christmas gift card and it was marked over 60% off, I said yes. Well, lo and behold, when we got home and opened said box, there was a barbie. I had no idea that Lakeshore would even sell such a thing! DD was tickled. She's been carrying that thing around everywhere. I had purposefully postponed letting her have anything like that because there are so many other quality toys/games/art/etc (and of course books!) and I think that barbie does not send the right message to young girls. But after it was in her little hands, I didn't have the heart to take it away. Part of me is kicking myself -- perhaps I should have put it back in the box right away and returned it. But part of me is thinking (rationalizing) that maybe it's not such a big deal -- maybe she'll play with it for a little while then lose interest. DD attends an old-fashioned, play-based co-operative preschool a few mornings each week. When she asked if she could take her doll to school, I said no and told her that it was a doll for big kids, sort of like a Y-7 doll (you know, like those tv ratings, LOL), and that it wasn't appropriate for school. So, I think she knows that I'm not so happy with it. Advice from the hive, please! WWYD? Take it away? Let her keep it, but with limits? Realize that in the scheme of things it's not such a big deal (as a neighbor told me)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Not a big deal. You could shop for some more realistic barbies to balance that one out. I know they exist. We are starting FIAR in a couple of weeks!! I am so excited. I am trying to use the overhead projector to make my own wall map. DD wants to finish studying Asia before we switch over to FIAR. We will do Europe much later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingmommy Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I know a lot of people have issues with Barbie dolls. I am not about to get into all of those and my opinion of them. That is a serious black hole from which nothing good will come. I liked Barbie dolls when I was a kid. I still like them. I never got any negative body images, etc. from them. They didn't turn me into a sex maniac. I have always liked that Barbie is marketed as the girl who can do anything. I am happy to be a SAHM, but if my daughters don't fit that mold, I don't want them to think that that is the only fitting place for girls. The reality is that not everyone is suited to cooking and cleaning and caring for children, no matter what some people may preach. I know a few ladies who are just not cut out for motherhood. Anyway, I have never had a problem with Barbie dolls, and I never will. My daughters have them. They play with them, and they play with their other toys, too. I think if you seriously have a problem with the doll, let your dd play with it till she tires of it, then make it disappear. She is clearly thrilled with the doll, so it seems cruel to just take it away from her. Good luck. I'm sure you'll get lots and lots of conflicting responses. J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Let her play. Barbie is only an issue if there are factors in the home exacerbating the risks. The presence of a well loved Barbie will not spoil the foundation you've built. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I wouldn't worry too much. I'm sure it feels worse becasue you are the one who ended up purchasing it, but I'm betting you would have ended up with one as a gift at some point. My mother had a no-Barbies rule that she managed to maintain until my grandparents finally got her to relent. I was in 6th grade at the time, and couldn't really see the point by then. All of my younger sisters ended up playing with Barbies, and I can't really see that it had a negative impact. I haven't purchased any for dd (5), but she has received many as gifts. I'm sure it would irk me if she played with them a lot, but they are not one of her favorites by a long shot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MKS Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I disliked Barbie as kid, dislike her even more now, and I would let DD keep it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Not a big deal. You could shop for some more realistic barbies to balance that one out. I know they exist. . I'm laughing about the idea of "realistic barbies". When I was a kid I liked playing with Barbies. I personally liked having pretty dolls even if they weren't realistic. I never would've chosen a Thunder Thighs Barbie, Varicose Vein Barbie, etc. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I postponed Barbies too, but in the end decided it wasn't such a big deal. Barbie is a million times better than those Bratz dolls. :glare: I'd personally love a post-partum Barbie with super jiggly belly! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Barbie is only an issue if there are factors in the home exacerbating the risks. :iagree:Keep your DD far, far away from the Disney Channel!!! We are SOOOO done with cable. DD never had issues with her body before cable and she has had Barbie's since she was 2. I had major body image issues because of the teasing from my brother. There are much bigger things to worry about concerning body image than the barbie's influence (which I don't think is really there). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeachGirl Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I am with MKS on this one. I hated Barbie as a kid but I let my dd15 play with them. They have not contributed to an unnatural body image for my dd. She is very petite and it was one of the dolls that fit into her hand well when she wanted to carry a doll around. Portability might be why your daughter likes the doll so much. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 As much as I hate HSM and the Disney Channel, I do really like the HSM dolls. Their bodies are much more realistic than some of the others. They are short and not overly curvy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razorbackmama Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Let her play. Barbie is only an issue if there are factors in the home exacerbating the risks. The presence of a well loved Barbie will not spoil the foundation you've built. :iagree: We have too many Barbies to count in our home (I have an 8.5yo dd and a 4yo dd that play with them...mostly it's the 4yo LOL). Most of ours are princess-related.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Barbies I do not have a problem with....now Bratz is another story. I would not let my DD (who is also 4) have a Bratz. But she has quite a few Barbies. She just chooses not to play with them much. She'd much rather play My Little Pony or Little People. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I've never thought Barbie was a big deal. When I was a little girl, my sister and I loved making clothes for our Barbie dolls. You could help your dd make some modest clothing for her doll and maybe that would balance out your hesitation for her to keep it. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 My sister and I played with Barbies (didn't like dolls, though). We would make them clothes, etc. I *never* compared myself with Barbie and think my focus and self-esteem are/were just fine. I think TV and Hollywood 'stars' are far worse culprits for sending wrong messages to our young girls than a Barbie doll is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Three Posted January 9, 2009 Author Share Posted January 9, 2009 Thank, everyone, for their support. I really appreciate your perspective! I'll let DD keep her barbie. We do greatly limit tv watching -- both the amount of time and shows that are permitted. I can see how that could be a much worse influence than a barbie. Thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon in SC Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Realize that in the scheme of things it's not such a big deal (as a neighbor told me)? Most definitely, :iagree: FWIW - my dds (16 and 12.5yo) have played with Barbies since at least your dd's age and they are as wholesome as I would ever wish them to be! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I played with Barbies, DD played with Barbies, and neither of has been harmed in any way by so doing. Bratz dolls, OTOH, I would not let into my house. Luckily, DD despised them, too, so it wasn't an issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I played with Barbies also. I have no body image problems, and I believe this is because my Mom has no body image problems. My girls have all my old ones plus some new ones (a lot!). I think as adults we see certain things that kids don't really pay any attention to, unless we bring attention to it. Barbies are dolls and our kids view them as such. As long as you make sure they have modest clothes, there should be no problems. Have fun and play with her :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 As much as I hate HSM and the Disney Channel, I do really like the HSM dolls. Their bodies are much more realistic than some of the others. They are short and not overly curvy. Our Target has them all on clearance, if you're in the shopping mood! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tibbyl Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I wouldn't worry at all about the Barbie doll. I was unaware that there was so much venom directed toward Bratz dolls. I have only one child that played with dolls. I thought she was over dolls but at age 11 after returning home from a friend's birthday party, she asked if she could have one of those dolls with a "big head." At first, I assumed she meant the human size Barbie head that is for hair styling. What she wanted was a Bratz. Since Bratz heads are larger than Barbie heads, they are more conducive to playing around with the hair. We found lovely handmade Bratz evening gowns on ebay for $5 each. As soon as her interest waned, we passed her Bratz collection to a young family friend who thoroughly enjoys them without any reported ill effect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I know a lot of people have issues with Barbie dolls. I am not about to get into all of those and my opinion of them. That is a serious black hole from which nothing good will come. I liked Barbie dolls when I was a kid. I still like them. I never got any negative body images, etc. from them. They didn't turn me into a sex maniac. I have always liked that Barbie is marketed as the girl who can do anything. I am happy to be a SAHM, but if my daughters don't fit that mold, I don't want them to think that that is the only fitting place for girls. The reality is that not everyone is suited to cooking and cleaning and caring for children, no matter what some people may preach. I know a few ladies who are just not cut out for motherhood. Anyway, I have never had a problem with Barbie dolls, and I never will. My daughters have them. They play with them, and they play with their other toys, too. I think if you seriously have a problem with the doll, let your dd play with it till she tires of it, then make it disappear. She is clearly thrilled with the doll, so it seems cruel to just take it away from her. Good luck. I'm sure you'll get lots and lots of conflicting responses. J :iagree: Right there with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 My dd was a doll girl. At 5 the whole nursery was put to bed. :) She loved her barbies and all their stuff , along with all her other dolls. She did outgrow them! I wouldn't worry. They never stopped her reading, crafts, outside play, learning games... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I never played w/dolls or Barbies as a child. I never owned a Barbie, never wanted one, never thought about playing with one. I DID have some very serious body issues that I have overcome, not without some struggles. I say that to point out that correlation does not equal causation. Self esteem and body issues in young (and not so young) girls are complex, and access or lack of access to a particular toy cannot be positively linked to negative body issues. If someone has some reputable research suggesting otherwise, I'd be very interested in seeing it. With that said, I used to be very anti-Barbie. Now that I have a daughter who loves Barbie, I have revised my opinion. I now think Barbie fosters imaginative play. The first one she got did not come from me, and it took me a while to relax about Barbie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I had a lot of barbies as a kid. I wouldn't buy any for my dd, but both grandmas and her great-grandma all gave her one; I didn't make a big deal of it and she played with them all the time for a few weeks and now I never see them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 OK, I have two funny "over-the-top response to Barbie" stories. I played with them as a kid but as an adult I just cannot stand them. Of course, when my eldest dd was turning 1 my mother took it upon herself to bring some plates, cups, napkins with you-guessed-it....Barbie! That led to a hormonally-induced fight between a nursing mom and her own mother. (We now laugh at that and I tease her to "remember to bring the Barbie plates" every time we have a family birthday). The other over-reaction on my part was to let my dd then 4 or 5 have some Barbies I purchased at a garage sale..BUT..."they must not be left around the house without their clothes on or I will throw them out". Well, needless to say they were eventually found naked somewhere and I reminded my dd of my vow and threw them out.... 5 years later my dd has had no untoward response to her mother's crazy behavior. So, Barbie is no big deal now. But sometimes we just have to go through some things to get to that point of being tolerant of her.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 My opinion is that if you don't make a big deal of it neither will she. Both in having it (they get bored quick with stuff at that age) and in the body imagine issue. Toys are toys, it is not until adults attach 'issues' to them and try to over correct for what they perceive kids will get from the toy that they become a problem. Kids see fun toys not the messed up body proportions/images that we see. This is not the way I have always thought about toys, but after having a DD for 8 years I have learned to keep my mouth closed most of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dawn of ns Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I had purposefully postponed letting her have anything like that because there are so many other quality toys/games/art/etc (and of course books!) and I think that barbie does not send the right message to young girls. It's a plastic doll and it sends no messages. Especially if you just have one lonely doll without any wardrobe. And from the hours of play and imagination that Barbie inspired when I was a kid I'd say it's a high quality toy. Don't give the doll any power you don't want it to have. Search for some patterns online and sew up some respectable clothes. Save fabric scraps and tissue boxes and give them to your daughter so she can construct her own lcothes and furniture (the clothes a girl can make with scotch tape and toilet paper!). Let her construct the world the doll will live in and you'll find it will become as valuable a toy as any other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lighthouseacademy Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) My mom has a theory that I will share in a moment... I had Barbie as a child, loved to dress them and create worlds for them, and never thought I should look like them. So, to my mom's theory. My cousins were NOT allowed to have Barbie for the reasons that most people object to them. When they became teenagers they tried to dress and be Barbie. My mom said that by playing with them, she thought we worked the need to "be" and experience Barbie out of our systems so we didn't need to be promiscuous or dress in appropriately etc where as without getting that out of our systems we would have. I don't know if she is right or not. So, long story short, my problem with Barbie is she is plastic... but I don't care otherwise. It's a plastic doll and it sends no messages. Especially if you just have one lonely doll without any wardrobe. And from the hours of play and imagination that Barbie inspired when I was a kid I'd say it's a high quality toy. Don't give the doll any power you don't want it to have. Search for some patterns online and sew up some respectable clothes. Save fabric scraps and tissue boxes and give them to your daughter so she can construct her own lcothes and furniture (the clothes a girl can make with scotch tape and toilet paper!). Let her construct the world the doll will live in and you'll find it will become as valuable a toy as any other. I agree completely. Barbie was a prop for my sister and me to jump into the land of pretend. We created worlds and furniture for the dolls. My mom made clothes for Barbie with scraps of cloth that she had saved from the clothes she had made us. We were not given ANY of the accessory props- no houses, cars, etc. Just the dolls and some clothes, shoe boxes, blocks, and scraps of fabric. Edited January 9, 2009 by lighthouseacademy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 My mom didn't allow Barbies, and I think she was right. But I didn't want dolls as a child, and I don't have a daughter; so, I'm not claiming any expertise. Just a quick opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 out Barbie's proportions and what this would like like in a real person. Of course, it was anatomically impossible. The comment the author made, I laugh when I think about this, is that if a real woman were to have these proportions, she have to carry her kidneys in her purse. Now, Barbie doesn't look quite as attractive. Back to the OP, I would let her have Barbie. Making an issue over this isn't worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Finally my great aunt got me a Barbie, and knitted some clothes for her. I really would have preferred getting the clothes in the catalogues, but now, looking back on it, I realize how lovely that gift was. When I played with her, I made up stories. She was powerful and tough. She could swim really, really well. (After all, she came in a swimming suit, and her arms were shaped just right for the crawl, and her legs had pre-pointed toes!) In my stories, she was a cross between Joan of Arc, Nancy Drew, and my godmother, who was a career woman. I never thought of her a frail or needing a guy--after all, she was a grown up! I think that these were good stories for me to tell myself, and that she inspired them. Having said that, I also remember feeling fairly cheated when I didn't end up with br88sts like hers. I think I looked at her more than I looked at real women, and I unconsciously expected to look like her someday. So I talk with my DD about how beautiful princess dresses look, but also about how many things you can't do in them. I point out what real women look like to her as well. I try to bring reality into focus for her more than it was for me. I'm much more worried about Disney princesses than I am about Barbie, bottom line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I postponed Barbies too, but in the end decided it wasn't such a big deal. Barbie is a million times better than those Bratz dolls. :glare: I'd personally love a post-partum Barbie with super jiggly belly! :D So true, my dd has tons of barbies, though she doesn't play with them much anymor, but bratz are banned from my house. I even bought her a pregnant barbie when she was 4 and I was having my 3rd child. I remember playng with barbies as a kid, my friend and I had big imaginations, we would pretend a barbie broke a limb and make casts out of toilet paper and white glue etc. No negative self images etc about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I'd say flyingmommy & dawn of ns summed up my opinions -- barbies are fine. Don't sweat the small stuff. Seeing the mention of creating casts for barbies, as kids did any of you create Barbie earrings by using straight pins (w/ the little color knobs on the end)? You had to stick them in at the right angle, though, or the pin would end up sticking out the other side of her head, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 My whole generation grew up with Barbies and we survived. That her body dimensions were not reflected in real people was of little consequence. We have a whole bin of Barbies (and a thousand tiny accessories) that occasionally gets pulled out and played with. Then I pack it into the garage again.:tongue_smilie: I had to get rid of my childhood vintage 1964 Barbie because she wore earrings that eventually made her head turn green. I wouldn't let my kids have anything like Bratz, that's a different story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazelt"nut" Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I totally ! get why some moms say no. I do understand. But mydd6 got a doll house for Christmas one year and the Barbie dolls fit perfectly intot the house and on the funiture. It is not a Barbie doll house but the size of that doll was a perfect fit. She spends endless time make believing with them. I know its not art or educational or an outside toy but it isn't the tv. She isn't a 7 year old that is into Hannah Montana or High school musical.Most girls we know her age have these teen idols plastered all over there walls. My dd is considered weird that she doesn't know all those songs etc. I'm glad she is playing with dolls instead. You have to do what you feel is best obviously. I was just chiming in with our experience. You are her mom and you know best for her. Sheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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