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Scarlett

By Scarlett,
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Scarlett

Scarlett

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I don’t know why y’all  hating on such a shower. It is a nice thing to do for a bride to be if she wants it.  I guess done can be pretty vulgar by the ones I have been to are respectful and nice. 
 

I am feeling old because the word I have ALWAYS heard is apparently out of style. 

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Harriet Vane

Harriet Vane

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A really fun way to give gifts at this type of shower:

3 boxes--one big, one medium, and one tiny. Bride must open the big box first and the little box last.

The big box should contain a standard, regular pair of pajamas or perhaps a warm flannel nightgown like your granny wore. Note should say something like, "For when you want to warm up"

Next box says, "For when things are getting warmer." The box should contain something recognizably pretty and more revealing than Granny's nightgown but still within the bounds of modesty.

Tiny box says: "For when things are REALLY HOT!!!" The box should contain a pair of pot holders (like for when you're cooking and need to lift a pot).

 

It's pretty hilarious (brides are typically scared to death to open the tiny box in front of all the people at the party), and the pot holders always bring a lot of laughter. And this has the added benefit of allowing me NOT to buy skimpy sexy stuff for other people.

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marbel

marbel

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8 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I don’t know why y’all  hating on such a shower. It is a nice thing to do for a bride to be if she wants it.  I guess done can be pretty vulgar by the ones I have been to are respectful and nice. 
 

I am feeling old because the word I have ALWAYS heard is apparently out of style. 

Well, what is the word? Did I miss it?

I've been to a few lingerie showers and I agree, they can be nice. It does not have to include vulgar or super s*xy stuff; I've seen very pretty nightgowns, slips (from back in the day when people wore slips), robes, stuff like that. I didn't have a lingerie shower, but I was given a beautiful nightgown with matching robe. They were so elegant and lovely. I still have them, though they haven't fit in  years. 

I will say that in my experience, the younger the bride, the more vulgar or ridiculous the gifts. One stands out in memory, and this was a long, long time ago: a garter with a very tiny toy holster and gun sewn onto it.  

Edited by marbel
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Scarlett

Scarlett

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7 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

A really fun way to give gifts at this type of shower:

3 boxes--one big, one medium, and one tiny. Bride must open the big box first and the little box last.

The big box should contain a standard, regular pair of pajamas or perhaps a warm flannel nightgown like your granny wore. Note should say something like, "For when you want to warm up"

Next box says, "For when things are getting warmer." The box should contain something recognizably pretty and more revealing than Granny's nightgown but still within the bounds of modesty.

Tiny box says: "For when things are REALLY HOT!!!" The box should contain a pair of pot holders (like for when you're cooking and need to lift a pot).

 

It's pretty hilarious (brides are typically scared to death to open the tiny box in front of all the people at the party), and the pot holders always bring a lot of laughter. And this has the added benefit of allowing me NOT to buy skimpy sexy stuff for other people.

That is adorable. Not sure I could risk that with this bride as she is pretty reserved. 

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mmasc

mmasc

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1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Well I always heard them called personal showers. But I guess now they call them bridal showers. 

I’ve always thought bridal showers are the “normal” showers where you give the bride things from her registry (kitchen items, dishes, linens, etc). I just went to a bridal shower last week actually. The showers you mentioned in your OP, where it’s just females giving lingerie, I’ve always heard called “lingerie shower.”

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marbel

marbel

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Maybe "theme" bridal showers aren't a thing anymore? I remember kitchen showers, lingerie showers, recipe showers (the gifts were just recipe cards, nothing more) and of course a general shower where anything may be given.  Sometimes there were multiple showers for one bride, which can be annoying if invited to all. Or. a bride might have one shower and not want gifts, so might ask for a recipe shower. 

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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Ok within 10 seconds of me sending the ‘bridal shower’ invite the brides grandmother said, ‘ do you think people will think this is a shower for household goods?’ Lol. I explained the bride wanted that wording…..and dgmsays, ‘I think she will get toasters’.  Lol

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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17 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I have heard lingerie shower but I think I’ve only even known of one. Like others they give me the ick. 

I don’t think I have ever heard lingerie shower used in my world.  🤷🏻‍♀️ A personal shower covers a lot of stuff……so not sure why it is icky.  I truly don’t understand that.  

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wisdomandtreasures

wisdomandtreasures

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1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Well no one is forced to go to one.  
 

Not sure what is gross about buying nice things for a bride to be. 

I'm talking about the lingerie part and when you're the bride and are very discreet/modest about stuff like that and your MIL gets you a lacy lingerie piece unexpectedly (everyone else got sensible unembarrassing gifts) so everyone's laughing at you, it's embarrassing and gross. 

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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9 minutes ago, wisdomandtreasures said:

I'm talking about the lingerie part and when you're the bride and are very discreet/modest about stuff like that and your MIL gets you a lacy lingerie piece unexpectedly (everyone else got sensible unembarrassing gifts) so everyone's laughing at you, it's embarrassing and gross. 

I am sorry. That is a person problem.  I am the MIL and won’t be doing that.  

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Ausmumof3

Ausmumof3

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43 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I have heard lingerie shower but I think I’ve only even known of one. Like others they give me the ick. 

Lingerie to me is something you buy for yourself and is only appropriate as a gift from someone you are intimate with. I know that’s cultural as I’ve been given underwear as a gift from someone from different culture. Socks is fine or maybe thermals but nothing lacy.

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CTVKath

CTVKath

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Lingerie shower. One of my friends had one a couple of decades ago. She registered her lingerie and sizes at local department stores. She was marrying a missionary and headed to Siberia after the wedding. I thought it would be embarrassing but it ended up being a lot of fun. We kept it clean and oooh'd and aaahh'd over all the pretty lingerie.

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Drama Llama

Drama Llama

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2 hours ago, Scarlett said:

Well what is a bridal shower to you?

To me a bridal shower is any kind of party for a bride, where people bring gifts.  It can be all women or coed.  There can be a theme to the gifts (e.g. lingerie, or contributions to the honeymoon, or kitchen utensils) or not.  If there is a theme, you might call it a "lingerie shower" or a "kitchen shower".

Same thing if it's for a new baby.  Baby shower is a generic term, and if you are concentrating on one kind of item you might say "book shower" or "diaper shower".  But they are all baby showers.

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Toocrazy!!

Toocrazy!!

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I don’t think I’ve heard the term personal shower, but my work friends had me I what I guess was a lingerie shower way back when. No mother or MIL present and really not a lot of lingerie. Mostly pajamas, a robe, a long flannel gown I still wear 25 years later, and a couple more risqué items I never wore but weren’t super embarrassing. I’m thinking it must have had a different name since I got so many pj’s, but I don’t remember what that was. 

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KatieJ

KatieJ

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49 years ago, my friends gave me a “personal” shower. They gave me very tasteful nightgowns, maybe because my mom and my MIL were there! I got hand creams or scented powder from my MIL…do not rememeber what my mom gave me. She did give me a rolling pin at one of my showers..she said, just in case I needed it…🙄

 

I  went to a “personal”  shower for a cousin’s fiancé…about a year before a I got married. It was  wierd cuz her future sister in laws were giving her slippers and flannel nightgowns…I do not remember what my sister and I bought. Later we found out the fiancé was pregnant…then the flannel nightgowns and slippers made a whole lot more sense!

Edited by KatieJ
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teachermom2834

teachermom2834

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If I got an invite to a bridal shower I would automatically think she was registered at Target or Amazon for kitchen and household goods. If I got an invite and the wording was “personal shower” I would think it was for pampering items for the bride including lingerie even though I have not really heard or used that term. 
 

I grew up in a very conservative family and I had 28 cousins and we had a whole bunch of weddings close together. One male cousin married a girl who registered for all the usual household items and then also some really interesting lingerie. Wow that raised some eyebrows. Lol. I don’t think anyone purchased but just so funny the differences in family culture. 

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Wheres Toto

Wheres Toto

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I've never heard the term "personal" shower.  Around here they are called lingerie showers if they are specifically for lingerie and similar items. I don't find them icky but I have known of times when the idea was definitely to be very risqué.  Usually in those cases it seems like it's just the friends of the bride (who is usually fairly young) that attend and not mother/MIL/grandmothers.  A separate normal/household items shower was held in those cases where everyone was invited. 

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iamonlyone

iamonlyone

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2 hours ago, Scarlett said:

So no one has ever heard the term ‘personal shower’?

Yes, 30+ years ago, my friends and I called them "personal showers." My daughter and her 20-something friends have them and call them "lingerie showers." The newer version we are familiar with has only included girlfriends and is sometimes combined with an overnight at an Airbnb or something fun after the gift-giving and refreshments, like pottery painting at a shop.

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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26 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

I've never heard the term "personal" shower.  Around here they are called lingerie showers if they are specifically for lingerie and similar items. I don't find them icky but I have known of times when the idea was definitely to be very risqué.  Usually in those cases it seems like it's just the friends of the bride (who is usually fairly young) that attend and not mother/MIL/grandmothers.  A separate normal/household items shower was held in those cases where everyone was invited. 

This group is very much the mother, MIL, aunties and grandmothers. A few cousins. Nothing crazy is going to happen…. The ‘bachelorette’ party at another time  is really just 4 friends doing coffee shop and book store hopping. This is an extremely conservative bride…. Much more conservative than me the MIL. 
This bride isn’t even having any bridesmaids. No one walking her down the aisle. 

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kirstenhill

kirstenhill

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2 hours ago, Scarlett said:

So no one has ever heard the term ‘personal shower’?

I feel like I have heard this term...very vaguely?  I had a lingerie shower given me by some friends. I am really the modest type in general and nothing was off-color or uncomfortable about it.  It was a small gathering and good fun... very different vibe than my bridal shower which was atteneded by mom, MIL, grandmas, aunts, etc.

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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12 minutes ago, kirstenhill said:

I feel like I have heard this term...very vaguely?  I had a lingerie shower given me by some friends. I am really the modest type in general and nothing was off-color or uncomfortable about it.  It was a small gathering and good fun... very different vibe than my bridal shower which was atteneded by mom, MIL, grandmas, aunts, etc.

Do you mind saying how old you are?

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Heartstrings

Heartstrings

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5 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I don’t know why y’all  hating on such a shower. It is a nice thing to do for a bride to be if she wants it.  I guess done can be pretty vulgar by the ones I have been to are respectful and nice. 
 

I am feeling old because the word I have ALWAYS heard is apparently out of style. 

I would only be ok getting gifts like that from peers.  Mom, MIL 🤢, Nanas, Aunties, no, no, no.  

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HomeAgain

HomeAgain

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3 hours ago, Scarlett said:

So no one has ever heard the term ‘personal shower’?

Nope, not in reference to anything but a private bath.

I will say I find this type of shower to be vulgar.  It is completely focused on the couple having s*x, making everyone in the room hone in on that. There are so many aspects to marriage that focusing on one thing and providing such deeply personal gifts is.......not among social norms in my circles.

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Heartstrings

Heartstrings

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4 hours ago, mmasc said:

I’ve always thought bridal showers are the “normal” showers where you give the bride things from her registry (kitchen items, dishes, linens, etc). I just went to a bridal shower last week actually. The showers you mentioned in your OP, where it’s just females giving lingerie, I’ve always heard called “lingerie shower.”

Same.

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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Just now, HomeAgain said:

Nope, not in reference to anything but a private bath.

I will say I find this type of shower to be vulgar.  It is completely focused on the couple having s*x, making everyone in the room hone in on that. There are so many aspects to marriage that focusing on one thing and providing such deeply personal gifts is.......not among social norms in my circles.

Never in all the years of my life has it seemed vulgar or focused on sex.  I would say, focused on a bride receiving personal gifts to make her feel special as a bride.  I am sure there are parties that are vulgar and focused on sex……but it sure doesn’t have to be.  

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