Please help me become a better homemaker in 2009!

[Amber in AUS]

I am just a terrible homemaker and this is an area of my life i am VERY unhappy about. I really need to get ontop of it but i don't know where to start or how to go about it.

 

My house is constantly a mess. I don't have enough cupboards/shelving to put everything away. We moved in August and i have boxes that remain unpacked because there is nowhere for the contents. We moved from a big house to a little one. I never clean up immediately after meals. The dinner dishes can still be on the table in the morning from the night before. I don't vacuum or mop the floor regularly enough. I am just terrible!

 

About the only thing i do with any regularity is cook meals at the same time each day and bath and get the kids into bed at the same time.

 

I was to have a tidy, clean house and feel like i have achieved something for the day. I want HS to flow smoothly. I want the mess gone.

 

Please help, this is my New Years resolution. I want tips, tricks and how to's please!

[Deb in NZ]

I feel often that I am drowning in clutter. We moved into our current house over 7 years ago & still have boxes left to unpack! Today my dh took our 3 dc away for the week to a Sea Scout Regatta. I have 5 days ALONE at home to get a handle on making the house work for me instead of frustrating me. Today from 1:00-5:30 I focused on a different area every 30 minutes. I'm amazed at my progress! I now have a clean, organized wardrobe that only contains clothes I like, fit, & will wear. For the past 5 years or so I couldn't even get into my wardrobe as everytime we had visitors coming I would grab the laundry basket & throw in it everything that didn't belong in the lounge & put that basket into my wardrobe, never to be seen again. My dh wondered why he kept buying me laundry baskets, but there never seemed to be one around for the laundry.:confused: Now I have 6 laundry baskets (& many more boxes) sitting in my lounge to be sorted before my family returns on friday. My goals for the week are:

 

 

1. Create a clean, inviting bedroom for dh & I
   
2. Organize & declutter our library, so that we can find what we need quickly & easily.
   
3. Use the hall closet to hold camp gear, leaving the Linen cupboard for linen & towels.
   
4. Pack away or give away the toys & clothing that my dc have outgrown.
   
5. Empty, clean, & organize the pantry to make cooking easier & more enjoyable.
   
6. Make up homemade mixes for muffins, scones, etc. for January-Easter.
   
7. Preserve the garden bounty to help keep our grocery costs down.
   
8. Make a list of 10 make-ahead hot breakfasts & 10 crockpot dinners to use during our hectic term 1 weeks.
   
9. Write our "New Years" cards & send. (again I didn't get Xmas cards out)
   
10. Make a list of monthly self-education goals for me for 2009.
    

 

 

You probably don't have the luxury of a week alone at home, it's taken me 10 years to get this. Try to add one habit every fortnight. Look at what you do well.

• Cook meals at the same time daily
  
• Bath & bedtimes for kids at sametime daily
  

 

This begins a frame work that works for you. Try putting the dishes in a "bath" (soaking them in the sink) just before you bathe your dc. Even if you don't get back to them until morning, at least the table is clear for breakfast & the dishes are a lot easier to wash. If the boxes from your move are in your lounge, hallway, etc. move them to a corner of your garage if that is possible & take one box each week to sort through & put away. Before you bring in the first box to sort, see if there is anything in cupboards that you don't love or need, & get rid of that first. Take the January holidays to focus on one area each week (kitchen, bedroom, lounge, & school area) & begin to tackle the still-unpacked boxes in February.

 

It does get easier as the kids grow & can help out more. I used to have a job chart on the wall when my dc were little that listed jobs by age (i.e. 1yo=tidy, 2yo=help set table, 3yo=sweep, etc.) My dc were able to put their clothes into the hamper, put their toys into the toybox, etc. as soon as they could walk. I wish they were as good at that now.:confused: Even a 2yo can put the placemats on the table & a 3yo loves to sweep under the table with the brush & dustpan. Each year they got a new job added to their list, until around age 7 when they were able to do most jobs & we divided up the jobs by days, with each dc being responsible for 2 jobs each day.

 

JMHO.

Edited December 28, 2008 by Deb in NZ

[crewmom]

I'm not going to be much help as I am in the same boat as you. I feel like I am drowning in my own clutter sometimes. The laundry alone is frightening. I have only recently started clearing the dishes away after a meal. I'm trying to make it a habit, but I still forget sometimes. I want to be able to welcome people into our home and right now I can't because there is too much stuff in the way.

 

DH and I went through half of the kids toys on Christmas Eve and it felt so good to get rid of half of those. Now I feel inspired to do some more organization. We don't officially start homeschooling until Jan 6th and I want this house ready on that day.

 

I think starting with a different mind-set would be helpful (to you and me!). Instead of, "I don't have enough space for my stuff" it should be "I have too much stuff for my space". I have a friend from a large city in Japan. Where she is from, the apartments are tiny so the people can't hold onto useless items. She has carried this way of living over here to the states. I love going to her home because it is so refreshingly simple. I tend to hang onto things just because I *may* need them again someday. She doesn't do this and her home reflects that. She only has one set of dishes for each member of her family so she is forced to wash in between meals. I don't know if I want to go that far, but it does give me a starting point.

 

I think Deb had great ideas and I am going to steal some of them.

[Night Elf]

We downsized to a smaller house 3 years ago and I'm still learning to live happily in the space we have. I have a vision in my mind of the homes in the magazines and always strive to have that in my home. But that's not real life!!

 

The first thing you're going to have to do is work on decluttering. It's very difficult to clean when you're having to move stuff around. You might want to check out the Flylady website, she has tons of good advice about decluttering and cleaning.

 

My DH and I reorganized our bedroom closet yesterday. We've been wanting to do that for 3 years! He added shelves to the back wall and I bought boxes to keep everything neat looking. We sat down together to go through stuff. We got rid of old clothes we never wear, shredded tax documents and bills that were 5 years old, threw out owners manuals of items we no longer own, etc. It took several hours but that space is now clean and organized and we won't let it get crazy again. :)

 

But really, decluttering is probably the thing that will help the most. During the first year we moved to our smaller home, I got rid of extra dishes, clothes, books, toys, furniture, and boxes of stuff I kept around "just in case" I needed them. I kept only the things we really use. It was kind of hard giving up some of the stuff but I haven't missed any of it. They are just things and they were a heavy weight on my shoulders.

 

Some tips:

 

*Don't try to do it all in a short time. See it as a process of making your new house your home and understand it will take a little time.

 

*Keep out 2 large boxes marked DONATIONS and TRASH while you're going through your things. Once the boxes get full, go empty them immediately. The donations can be put into your car and taken to a Good Will or whatever else you may donate items. The trash is put into the outside trash can. Don't pile that stuff up with the intention of taking them. You've cleaned out once. Don't make it extra work. :)

 

*I prefer focusing on one room/space at a time. I've been working full-time for the past 4 months and my cleaning has gotten way behind. I do one room each weekend because it's all I have energy for doing. I also try to focus on the things I've done rather than the list of things that are waiting for my attention.

[Laura Corin]

I recommend looking at the Flylady site. I don't follow her precise directions, but there's an attitude there that has been very useful to me.

 

I have found that starting one new habit each week works for me - begin with something small, like clearing the bathroom surfaces before you go to bed. Once that one habit is in place, add in another one. I have now got to the stage where the kitchen, bathrooms, sitting room and my bedroom are tidy each night. From this basis, I am feeling as if the rest of the clearout is achievable.

 

Best of luck - I feel much calmer and more in control since I started working on this.

 

ETA: We moved at the end of November. There's one room that is a disaster area of boxes still. We are budgeting for new shelves to help us sort it out.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

Edited December 28, 2008 by Laura in China

[Jill- OK]

...Motivated Moms.

 

Yes, I'm an affiliate, lol (if you click through to my blog, in my signature link, and then click on the Motivated Moms link under "Get Organized", I get a kickback)...but I wouldn't be an affiliate if I didn't think it was a good product.

 

It has a year of simple lists to follow, and space to write in your own daily tasks, too. (As comprehensive as their lists are, there's always SOMETHING personal that you need to add to this type of stuff).

 

And then, while you're following the Motivated Moms list this year, read organizational books. Sink Reflections (the 'Flylady' book--you can always read through her site, too, but my personal opinion is that most women need something not tied to that great time-sucker, the computer) and...I think it's called Secrets of an Organized Family are two to start with. Scour your library, and ask for titles from the ladies here. Make a list of new ideas, and incorporate them.

 

I think deciding to make a change is the biggest thing (and you've done that), and then starting simple is a good way to begin living it.

 

I honestly think Motivated Moms fits the bill, and allows you to transition to making your own master list (which is how you'll keep up the habit).

 

HTH!

[Sebastian (a lady)]

*Keep out 2 large boxes marked DONATIONS and TRASH while you're going through your things. Once the boxes get full, go empty them immediately. The donations can be put into your car and taken to a Good Will or whatever else you may donate items. The trash is put into the outside trash can. Don't pile that stuff up with the intention of taking them. You've cleaned out once. Don't make it extra work. :)

 

I often have trouble getting rid of things that are still useful or that I feel that I didn't use fully. I have to remind myself that if it was a gift, it was a symbol of someone's love and affection, not an attempt to drag me down. The giver wouldn't want me to keep it if it had become a burden.

 

I also don't have to be the person who finds the right recipient for my cast offs. That will happen automatically through Goodwill or some other thrift store. The right person will find it and be delighted with it. And just getting it into a large thrift store actually increases the chances that someone will enjoy it, since it won't rely on my knowing and finding someone who needs it.

 

If you have a lot of clutter, it might be easier to start with stuff you know you can get rid of, rather than trying to completely polish up one room or area. For example, go through the youngest kid's clothes and give away anything that is too small (he isn't going to get any smaller) and throw away what is worn out. If you're not done with kids, then box up and put away the best stuff, but let go of what is mediocre.

 

Open up your kitchen cupboards and see what you have that you never use. Do you still have a row of cordial glasses from a set that is otherwise broken and gone? Do you have the lid to an electric skillet that you got rid of? Do you have an appliance that was a gift that you don't use?

 

All the things that you can get out of the house will free up room for you to see what is still there. It will also earn you places to put the stuff that you love. If you have a friend who can help you look at your stuff with a non-emotional eye, it might help you think through what you have and what you need.

 

The Flylady does also emphasize getting and keeping the sink clean. She does this in part because an empty and clean sink gives you the oomph to do the next thing. I know that if I have something that I need to wipe off and put away, but the sink is full of dirty dishes, then I will just walk away (leaving both jobs undone).

 

I would also suggest timing how long it really takes you to do tasks like folding a load of clean laundry. I am always surprised how little time this really takes. I don't know why I tend to put it off when it can just be done in about 12 minutes.

 

Finally, your kids should be in there helping you. Start them with little jobs that they can do. This will train them (and you) that it is natural and right for them to be engaged in keeping your home nice. I had my little ones putting away silverware (I moved it to a lower drawer just so they could reach it, but a stool works too), taking laundry to the laundry area and sorting it and emptying trash cans (I started with bathroom trash cans into the kitchen trash).

 

Let me encourage you. You can get better at this. And it does matter. As an adult, I spend three times as much time with my in-laws as with my parents because my parents tend to hoard stuff and it is so chaotic to visit there. They will have five bottles of the same spray cleaner because they couldn't find the ones they had. They don't enjoy the fun and nice things they have because they can't see them or use them. They are constantly buying more stuff without letting go of stuff that they aren't using. Learn the skills you need to have a happy and contented life twenty - fifty years from now.

[Perry]

I agree with the Flylady recommendations. Start with your sink, like she says.;)

 

The conventional wisdom is to tackle a little project each day. Well, that does NOT work for me. I need a big block of uninterrupted time so I can start and FINISH a big project (like one room, or a closet, etc.) all in one day. Since your kids are young, could your dh take them somewhere for an afternoon so you can get a good start on something? Once you get started and make a big dent in the problem it's much easier to continue with little projects.

[Harriet Vane]

I struggle mightily as a housewife. There are a couple of tricks I have learned that have helped enormously:

 

--Declutter, big time. Be ruthless. I just do not have the skills or mindset to maintain a lot of stuff--it's so much better to just live without.

 

--Sort through the mail the instant it comes into your home. I was amazed to find it really only takes about ten minutes a day to read, recycle, and respond. This took care of a major paper clutter problem.

 

--Make the kids do their own laundry. I was absolutely drowning. We tried all kinds of systems to make it better and more efficient. A major part of the problem was that the other three people who live in this family were really, really inconsistent in following through with whatever system we had agreed on. Dh and I were getting in some very unpleasant arguments because of this. Finally, in frustration, I decreed that I just could not be responsible for everyone's laundry AND homeschooling AND my weekend kids (I get five extra every weekend). We assigned everyone their own day of the week to do laundry, and I get two days. They must wash, dry, and put away their clothes on their laundry day. I get the extra day because I also do sheets and towels. It has worked really well!!! The kids and dh are VERY motivated to get their laundry done because they will go naked if it's not done. Even my 7yo ds has done really well at learning to sort and use the machines (I check his work at each stage of sorting, washing, drying, folding, and putting away.)

 

--I hate-hate-hate cleaning up after dinner. It is the one thing that will derail all my efforts at cleaning the house. It feels like a long, hard effort to cook AND clean up afterward. I finally decided to stop doing it. My dh and the kids are responsible to clean the kitchen after dinner. It's not working perfectly but it is much better for us.

 

Hope this helps.

[Nicole M]

I cleaned out my pantry yesterday, and it was like an archeological dig. It took most of the day. I have lived in this house for 16 years, and for 16 years it has been too small. My husband and I both came to the marriage with a lot of stuff, and we never really "moved in" -- our stuff just landed here. And then more stuff moved in, week after week, month after month, year after year.

 

Your children are very young, and, for me, that was a hard time anyway, in terms of getting control over my house. Is there any way your husband can help you unpack? Could a family member or neighbor keep your children for a day while you prioritize and sort? There isn't any reason you should have to do this alone.

 

I guess what I'm thinking is that, looking back, it would have been super helpful to me if I could have had some help with the initial moving in and setting up a house. I didn't do dishes at night either, in part because there seemed no point. The whole house was a pigstye, what would washing dishes do? It was like the whole cleaning, organizing thing was so huge, dishes were insignificant. Now that my house is somewhat orderly, it's a pleasure to have a tidy kitchen.

 

And, finally, I agree with the other poster who said that what you do, regular meals and bathing -- that's wonderful. Chin up. You can do it.

[Jill- OK]

...Motivated Moms.

 

Yes, I'm an affiliate, lol (if you click through to my blog, in my signature link, and then click on the Motivated Moms link under "Get Organized", I get a kickback)...but I wouldn't be an affiliate if I didn't think it was a good product.

 

It has a year of simple lists to follow, and space to write in your own daily tasks, too. (As comprehensive as their lists are, there's always SOMETHING personal that you need to add to this type of stuff).

 

And then, while you're following the Motivated Moms list this year, read organizational books. Sink Reflections (the 'Flylady' book--you can always read through her site, too, but my personal opinion is that most women need something not tied to that great time-sucker, the computer) and...I think it's called Secrets of an Organized Family are two to start with. Scour your library, and ask for titles from the ladies here. Make a list of new ideas, and incorporate them.

 

I think deciding to make a change is the biggest thing (and you've done that), and then starting simple is a good way to begin living it.

 

I honestly think Motivated Moms fits the bill, and allows you to transition to making your own master list (which is how you'll keep up the habit).

 

HTH!

 

...somehow I missed that you were unpacking from a move; I'd suggest adding 'settling in' tasks to the part where you can plug in your own items on the list. It can be overwhelming to settle in (former military wife, here, lol), and making a list, then tackling it piece by piece, day by day, could really help. (As opposed to feeling 'behind' every night even though you accomplished a lot).

[Chris in VA]

You've gotten tons of great advice, so I'll just echo and add a tad.

Echo--Get rid of stuff. It really, really helps. I have to attack the closets this week--have lots of clothes of dd's to let go of--it's hard, because they represent her childhood, and I'm not good at letting go. I do find that, once it's gone, it's off my mind, and that feels good.

 

Add--sometimes just setting the timer on the oven or in the kitchen and working on a task for 5 minutes helps me. After all, I reason, I can do anything for 5 minutes. I sometimes start dishes this way. Give yourself permission to quit after 5 mins. IN 5 mins, you can basically get plates, cups, and sliverware in a dishwasher and perhaps clear the table, too. In 5 mins, you can sweep a kitchen, give a room a quick vacuum, or take the trash out in three rooms. In 5 mins, you can fold a load of towels.

 

Also, get your 4.5 yo to help. New job--clear the table after dinner. Set that timer, you work on loading the dishwasher while 4.5 yo clears. Teach everyone to take their plates out after dinner, and all your child has to do is put the milk away and clear the dishes that hold the food (and if you are like me, I fill plates in the kitchen anyway, so dd doesn't even have food dishes to clear, most of the time). A 4.5 yo can fold his/her own clothes, too, and pull up covers on a bed, and feed the dog, and use a sock on the hand to dust baseboards or chair legs, etc.

 

Make it a game, and play it sometime every day. "First we work on this, then let's (read, play a game, go for a walk, have a snuggle, etc.)" This is something you want your children to learn, isn't it? Small things, done over time, lead to big accomplishments. Discipline yourself to get those dishes done so that you can be a consistent model to your children, to spare them the discomfort you currently feel at your own housekeeping.

 

Hang in there--be gentle on yourself, but not too gentle. You are doing some things very well. We all have things to work on, and that is perfectly OK.

[swellmomma]

I am focusing on this too for 2009. In the past I tried Flylady but that only addressed the part of the equation related to cleaning, not the rest of what I wanted to bring to the family kwim. I was so excited that my mom bought me Managers of their homes that I asked for, for xmas. It helps you develop a working schedule for your family to make sure you have time for everything from cleaning, to schoolwork, to baking, or sewing or anything else you want to do as a homemaker. I am just doing step one of the planning process and it is very eye opening. When I listed everything I have been doing and what I want to do with time attached to it, I realized I have been trying to run a 36 hour day, well no wonder I was so burnt out and nothing seemed to be getting done. THis has been a process of learning to prioritize, and focus on what I truely want to bring to the family and how to cut the distractions along the way(and my all-or-none philosophy). Maybe this book would help you make better use of your time helping you acheive what you want to in your homemaking.

 

My goals in my homemaking were to maintain the house to a respectable level of cleanliness, bake bread weekly, homecooked meals(we eat out A LOT, maintain the ironing and mending before the pile becomes a mountain, and have time to focus on my hobbies (sewing, cross stitch, scrapbooking)because fitting those in will help reduce my stress and help with the aesthetic side of things.

 

As I am creating my schedule I am also doing a room by room decluttering/overhaul. I am approaching each room like Flylady suggested as if I was selling the place and needed to show it. What do I need to purge, fix, paint etc to make the room look fabulous and then keep it that way with my schedule. For me fabulous might simply mean I can fling open my door all the way the door bell rings rather than just peeking out in case someone sees the mess.

[LisaKinVA]

With small children, I gave up on my house being "clean" (at least, as "clean" as I want it to be). That doesn't mean I don't vacuum, dust, do baseboards, etc. -- it has a lot more to do with where we live (in the country, basement... with dust that rains down from the floors above). Literally, I can dust one day and the next day the house looks like it hasn't been dusted in a week. After one week, it looks like it hasn't been dusted in months :tongue_smilie:

 

If I can do these things (with the help of my children, because they are more than old enough) each day, I feel relatively "good" about my home.

 

1. Regular "clean up time" before dinner. This is where the kids (even my 2yo) has a bin that we carry from room to room and pick up things that aren't where they belong. All games and toys are put away for the day.

 

2. After dinner -- immediately do dishes, wash counters, sweep floors, etc. (This is a huge weight off my shoulders in the morning)

 

3. After bedtime routines (teeth brushing, etc.), the bathroom is picked up and sincks/counters quickly wiped down (toothpaste globs come off much quicker when wet, than dried on).

 

4. Break the basic chores down by room, and assign a day to an area (this is just general cleaning only -- not big projects, or every day things, such as making beds and doing dishes). So, Mondays we thoroughly clean the bathroom, and I wash towels and baby clothes. Keep it simple. Things don't have to be perfect. No one is doing a white glove inspection in my house :D

 

5. Have a general time during the day you will attack the chore list. As a homeschooling mom, it's very easy to put off doing chores until schoolwork is done. But, when I've done that, chores don't seem to be done. However, if I schedule it right after lunch time -- we all take 15min-30min. to do the room of the day and it's DONE.

 

For big jobs -- you can break those down too (or do them all at once), that's a personality thing. Instead of looking at the stack of boxes, make it a priority to do 1/2 a box or a box a day. Setting a smaller, achievable goal will give you that sense of accomplishment you need. And doing the sort, toss, giveaway thing others have mentioned is crucial.

 

Take it room-by-room. Starting with your master bedroom will give you a place you can go to recharge and "feel good." It may be the quickest room to do, but it will be done.

 

As far as not knowing where to put things -- Vertical Space is priceless! If you look at photos of homes (especially in England), which are all typically much smaller -- you will find shelving everywhere. 1' of shelving will wrap around the ceiling, shelves flank doorways, beds have built-in- drawers, and more. That's not to say you should keep things for the purpose of keeping them -- but that you can be a little creative about how things are stored.

[jplain]

I second the Motivated Moms suggestion. It is the only thing I've tried that has worked for me. I get the half size and print out 4 weeks on one page (front and back). Then I magnet it to the side of my fridge. As I go by during the day I look for things I can quickly squeeze in.

 

:) Carolyn

[Jen in PA]

There are a lot of great tips here, but I wanted to add this: don't consider cleaning the kitchen a chore to be done at night, but a gift you are giving yourself for the morning. I find that when I can't bear the thought of another half hour on my feet cleaning the kitchen, I find the prospect of returning to that mess in the morning even more terrifying. I make a habit of getting the table, counters, and sink emptied of everything, and I set up the coffeemaker for the next morning. As long as I have something hot and caffeinated, and a clean mug to pour it into, I can handle anything:001_smile: The few occasions where I've slipped up on this routine have been punishment enough to keep me on track.

 

The same goes for staying on top of other things as well.... I find that for every five minute investment in organizing a drawer or a cabinet, I save twice that amount of time in searching for stamps, or the corkscrew (never a good thing to lose!), or whatever else I'll be needing when time is at a premium. The Flylady's concept of taking "baysteps" is very useful in helping you break everything down to a manageable size.

[kalanamak]

I agree with the Flylady recommendations. Start with your sink, like she says.;)

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

And develop a habit. You just don't sit down or move on to something else unless the supper dishes are cleaned up. Enlist chores for the kids. Plan on this time from the get-go. Get in the habit, and then add another habit.

 

Another idea is keep a time diary for a week. Look at where your wasters are. What can you "declutter" from your schedule and what can you get more efficient at? e.g. start a load of wash just as you get into bed. In the morning, put the wash in the dryer, and while you are there...heck, start the NEXT load of wash. Or, every time you start a load of wash, check the dryer to make sure it is empty. If not, empty it. If clothes still damp, start it so it will be ready to empty when the wash is done.

 

I've adapted some the tenets of Speed Cleaning. I wear an apron, with loops for the cleaner to hang off, and I try to go around a room twice only (once to pick up anything cast about, the next to dust/clean). If you DON'T allow yourself to run back and forth to the garbage, the closet, etc.--if you fight that "I just found X and I have to go all the way down stairs and put it with its mate" urge, you CAN get things done much faster.

 

HTH

Best of luck

We feel for you

She'll be right, Mate

Et al!

[Rosie_0801]

It's the things that clutter the place but aren't to be thrown out that had us going crazy. The fabric stash, kitchen utensils, that kind of stuff. Dh went off to the hardware shop and came home with a whole lot of clear, lidded plastic tubs. We used the large ones for the fabric stash, which are now stacked neatly in the backroom instead of in garbage bags looking like some kind of fibrecraft volcano. They are labelled according to fabric type, and are see through so we dont' have to dig through everything to find the white linen.

The box in the bottom of the pantry houses the mortar and pestle, kitchen scales, blender attachments, electric beaters and that kind of stuff. It takes a bit of digging through to find, but since laziness has us all throwing those sorts of things in there, they are at least in a contained space and will be there rather than in some other random location.

In the corner of the lounge (rented house, virtually no cupboards) is two stacks of smaller plastic tubs. Dh and I have our own craft box for those projects we're part way through, and those next on the list. There is also a tub of wool, left over from past projects, and a "useful stuff" box for the kids to make masterpieces out of. Old postcards, buttons that don't match anything, offcuts of wool, the last half tsp of beads left over from a project, useful little boxes. You know, all that sort of stuff that seems both too useful to throw out, but too junky to keep. One tub can house enough of this sort of junk to keep any kid busy, and having free access to that, they won't have to come after my stuff!! Once the kids have grown out of that, they'll be entitled to their own craft tub and those old postcards will either fit in someone's tub or go in the bin.

 

:)

Rosie

[mom31257]

I'm jumping in just to listen and read what every one else has to say. I so need to improve in this area. My dh and dd are so laid back and don't seem to mind that things are a mess. My ds has little tendencies for neatness in just a few areas, but still doesn't mind a mess, either. I think that has allowed me to become too lax about it all.

[Lacie]

http://www.flylady.net

 

she has some great ideas.

[Halftime Hope]

when my kids were little, like yours are, dh (the problem solver in the family) looked at how long it would take me with all the interruptions of littles and nursing babes, and decided he would do the dishes in the evening. I did morning and lunch dishes, using that time as teaching time for the eldest on rinsing, loading, etc., eventually movng him up to pots and pans, by the time he was 10 or 12. (Don't remember exactly...)

 

When dh did the evening dishes it was done within 20 or 30 minutes, not the hours it would take me as I wiped noses, handled boo-boos, nursed the baby, and on and on.

 

Some nights, we'd trade, and he did baths while I did dishes. :)

 

Bless him!

[Tree House Academy]

I was always and OCD type "cleaner"...before I had my second child. I still have the OCD...it just moved on to something other than extreme cleanliness. Dont' get me wrong, I still try to keep the house clean, but with 3100+ sq feet, 2 cats, 3 dogs, 2 kids, and a husband, well...

 

First, declutter. Take it one room at a time and throw away as much as you can. I used to go through my sons' bedrooms and think, "well, so and so gave him this and even though it is broken, I can't toss it." Blah! So last year, I got over that and really tossed a lot of junk. I donated unbroken things to charity which made me feel better about throwing it out too.

 

Once you get the house decluttered, go back through and thoroughly clean each and every room. One at a time. Take as many days as you need and start with rooms that are least likely to get messed up quickly. For me, nothing is more crushing than cleaning my son's room only to look at it a week later and wonder if I actually DID ever clean it. :( So I tend to do bathrooms, my office, the living room and kitchen, the laundry room, my room, then the kids rooms.

 

Learn to live with a bit of mess. You have kids, you homeschool, things are not going to be perfect all the time. I just got on the computer after half an hour of telling my 5 year old to get his toy clutter out of the living room or I was getting the trash bag. Slowly but surely, he did. Now his room is a mess, but at least it is not in my living room. :)

 

Once you are on top of the house clearning, here is what I do to keep it working:

 

1. Make a list of the big stuff (mopping, vacuuming, laundry, etc) that does not seem to get done when it should and actually schedule those things. I do mine by week. Saturday is bed linen washing day, Monday is vacuum day, Wednesday is mopping day, a load of laundry is completed each day of the week unless there is not enough for a load (which NEVER happens).

 

2. Enlist the help of your Children if they are old enough. My 9 year old is responsible for taking out trash, emptying the dishwasher, and being my "runner." By "runner," I mean that we live in a two story house and if I am cleaning upstairs, I will often have my older do the up/down, up/down stuff (like putting toys back in the kids rooms and so on) while I keep working. It makes the cleaning go a lot faster, and saves my back! LOL

 

3. Turn on the TV or radio and set a timer for 30 minutes one time each day and scrub something thoroughly. While I am a good surface cleaner, I tend to neglect the nitty gritty stuff - like dusting all 31 of my mini blinds weekly.

 

4. Clean off your table IMMEDIATELY after eating. Even if you ate too much. Even if you are too full. Even if the kids need to go to bed. Do it right then and there. Some things like clearing the table, doing dishes, and doing laundry are just my least favorite things in the world to do. Mostly, this is because the work is never done. The fruit of your labor is so short-lived, it seems like "why bother." Of course, you know the reason your should "bother..." because there is no way you can stay on top of things if you don't.

 

Good luck to you. I think this is one area that almost all of us could make improvements in!

Edited December 28, 2008 by Tree House Academy

[laughing lioness]

If the dishes are done and the bed made, your house will seem neater. Start small. Be consistent. Give yourself grace when you don't get it "right."

[Amber in AUS]

Thankyou so much for your encouragement and suggestions. I am going to check out both of the websites mentioned and try to see if i can get any of the books from the library.

 

Keep the suggestions coming!

[Happy]

This is a fight I've waged most of my adult life. My mom was the kind of lady that when she walked into a room, it tidied itself. Me? When I walk in, the room throws things at me. ;) I'd much rather mow than vacuum, so I have terrific gardens and not so great closets.

 

Here's some things that might help. (They did me.)

 

It motivates me to read about organization and home care. Authors like Julie Morganstern, Denise Schofield, Emilie Barnes, Peter Walsh, and even Alexandra Stoddard help me see the vision of what works and what doesn't. If you can find their books on audio download, you can listen to their wisdom as you tackle a chore.

 

Think systems and sections. You've gotten good advice about dividing your cleaning tasks into days of the week and month. (Side tracked home executives had a great book detailing that a bunch of years ago.) Also think about keeping like items where they are used. Create a baking center in your kitchen. In that area, keep all the things close to hand that you need to bake a cake. Follow that concept throughout your home.

 

A motto in our house is 'You don't have to, you GET to....." Fill in the blank with what ever you or anyone is complaining about. Dishwashing, taking out the trash, mowing, etc. Use the phrase liberally and also when things are going well too...(going to the movies, reading a book, playing with toys.) I'm surprised how rephrasing can help change MY attitude.

 

Another saying at our house is 'she (or he) who cooks, does not clean up.' As your children get older, they along with Dad (if applicable) will be tidying the kitchen as you go for a walk or relax for 20 minutes. ;) When the children are older, you and dh can go for a walk while they wrestle the kitchen to the ground.

 

When I don't want to clean the kitchen or fold laundry or run the vacuum (are there weeds in the garden?) I tell myself that I HATE to live in a mess. That usually gets me up and moving to at least do something.

 

Create good habits. They will help you more than your feelings any day.

[Bambam]

I second the Motivated Moms recommendation. I used it part of last year, fell off the wagon when we got super busy for several weeks, lost the planner (part of that clutter issue), and limped along the rest of the year. I ordered another one for 2009 and I'm going to keep plugging on. If we miss a week or two, so what. I'll start on whatever that week is.

 

I just wish they would have a version for homeschooling! I would love to see a line in the Daily Chores of "prepare tomorrow's school"

[Amber in AUS]

Well, after reading and reading more and not getting anything done i have just finished shining my sink :party: I did the whole shebang and it looks great. Next task cleaning off the benchtops and window sill in the kitchen which are full of clutter.

 

I think i will end up with a combo of FlyLady and Motivated Moms. I def need a more professional approach to my household. I think i need to think of it like a paid job and work accordingly :lol: I don't think i take life at home seriously, its like always being on holiday, only it isn't IYKWIM.

[Christine]

This is a fight I've waged most of my adult life. My mom was the kind of lady that when she walked into a room, it tidied itself. Me? When I walk in, the room throws things at me. ;)

 

:lol:

 

I'm mostly just posting here, so I'll remember to come back, but I wanted to say I feel the OP's pain.

 

I also can say, I "know" all the things to do to be a better housekeeper. . .but I've discovered my "brain" does very little housework and the knowledge seems to get lost in translation from brain to body.

[Christine]

I second the Motivated Moms recommendation. I used it part of last year, fell off the wagon when we got super busy for several weeks, lost the planner (part of that clutter issue), and limped along the rest of the year. I ordered another one for 2009 and I'm going to keep plugging on. If we miss a week or two, so what. I'll start on whatever that week is.

 

I just wish they would have a version for homeschooling! I would love to see a line in the Daily Chores of "prepare tomorrow's school"

 

Interesting. . .

 

Way back when MM was just starting, one of the originators was on the Sonlight forums. (One son and small home I believe -- she used to be on the "home organizers accountability thread" -- which always made me say, "Yeah, easy for you!" I find I can "rationalize" an excuse for most anthing.)

 

So, it's interesting that they don't have at least a homeschooler's version.

Edited December 29, 2008 by Christine

[CalicoKat]

I recommend looking at the Flylady site. I don't follow her precise directions, but there's an attitude there that has been very useful to me.

 

I have found that starting one new habit each week works for me - begin with something small, like clearing the bathroom surfaces before you go to bed. Once that one habit is in place, add in another one. I have now got to the stage where the kitchen, bathrooms, sitting room and my bedroom are tidy each night. From this basis, I am feeling as if the rest of the clearout is achievable.

 

Best of luck - I feel much calmer and more in control since I started working on this.

 

ETA: We moved at the end of November. There's one room that is a disaster area of boxes still. We are budgeting for new shelves to help us sort it out.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

:iagree:I've done it in the past but we're re-launching the "fly ship" here this year. I'm involving the kiddos this time so hopefully it will last longer. :D

[WTMindy]

I haven't read ALL the relies, so I'm probably repeating something. First, your kids are still very young, but they can help. Start now getting them involved. When my kids were little we would go through the house before Daddy would get home and pick up their toys and straighten things up. That did a couple of things, it showed the kids that we were really excited for Daddy to come home and we wanted to make the house a special place for him. It also was a good time for me to make sure things were tidy.

 

Second, I would say to start by decluttering. Be relentless in your purging. I don't think I have ever regretted throwing something away (and I'm a BIG purger!)

 

I have my house broken into 9 "zones". Really, it is just a room or a group of rooms. Each week I make sure that zone is clean and organized. So, you don't have to tackle the whole house today (or before Jan. 1) Set a goal to do one room a week until it is done and then set yourself a rotation to keep them clean.

 

Set aside a time each week to do certain jobs. Include your kids in the process (even though it will feel like more work at first). They do take joy in "helping" at that age, and it trains them for when they get to the age where they DON"T feel like helping. :-)

 

Ask your dh to keep you accountable to this.

 

Good luck!!

[LaxMom]

...Motivated Moms.

 

Yes, I'm an affiliate, lol (if you click through to my blog, in my signature link, and then click on the Motivated Moms link under "Get Organized", I get a kickback)...but I wouldn't be an affiliate if I didn't think it was a good product.

 

 

 

Darn, Jill! I just ordered this morning and had no idea there were affliliates. I totally would have gone through your blog if I had known. :glare:

 

I know there are at least a few of us around here who have been looking into MMs. I've tried to get on the FlyLady bandwagon several times over the years... I just can't hang. I just need a checklist, not a million emails a day telling me to put shoes on my feet or how the system has changed someone's life, followed by "comments" that are essentially plugs for her products. Ack.

 

Sigh. Anyway, between Jennifer'sLost's "Halving It All" blog for inspiration and Motivated Moms for a daily check-off, I'm hoping to whack this place back into shape. I brought up the possibility of a weekly check-in for MMs users, so we can all see how we're doing, and I know there was at least one other person interested...

[Amber in AUS]

Well, so far, so good this morning. Woke up to a shiny sink, got dressed down to shoes and already have a load of washing on and DC are dressed too.

 

I did manage to get the rest of the kitchen benchtop cleaned off yesterday afternoon which was a great achievement as it has been a dumping ground since we moved.

 

One step at a time, "I will be a good homemaker in 2009!"

[Lovedtodeath]

I've adapted some the tenets of Speed Cleaning. I wear an apron, with loops for the cleaner to hang off, and I try to go around a room twice only (once to pick up anything cast about, the next to dust/clean). If you DON'T allow yourself to run back and forth to the garbage, the closet, etc.--if you fight that "I just found X and I have to go all the way down stairs and put it with its mate" urge, you CAN get things done much faster.

 

When I do this we end up with bins of stuff to put away that get stacked in the playroom. Last time I cleaned out the playroom I had to sort through 4 huge bins (like twice the size of a laundry basket).:confused:

[Deb in NZ]

in my decluttering today I found our original job chart we had on the wall. I guess I really never do throw things out. For what it's worth here's what it says:

 

Our helping Jobs

 

1. We tidy up.
   
2. We set the table.
   
3. We make our beds.
   
4. We clear the dishes & sweep.
   
5. We clean the hand basin.
   
6. We empty the dishwasher.
   
7. We help prepare dinner.
   

 

 

Each job has a simple picture next to it to help the kids "read" their jobs. When our dc were 1yo we began to teach them job #1. When they turned 2yo, we began to teach job #2, but still required them to maintain job #1 as well. By 7yo, they had the basic skills to really be of assistance around the house.

 

HTH,

Edited December 30, 2008 by Deb in NZ

[BizyPenguin]

Limiting distractions and time wasters is the number one way I have found to make time to keep up with housework. For me, this means not visiting forums as much as I used to. Computer usage is a HUGE time suck and as much as I love it, I know I've got to cut back or my home suffers. FWIW, Flylady and Motivated Moms did not work for me. "Just do it!", however, has been a homemaking mantra that has worked wonders ;) Along with staying off of the computer. HTH!

[Jennifer]

Jill,OK-I just downloaded the MM planner and it looks great! I uploaded it to Office Depot to be printed and spiral bound.

 

Here's my question-I have done ALOT of decluttering in the last few months. Now the trouble is we still have so much STUFF, but it's stuff we use. How can I figure out what we really need and what can go??

Thanks!

Jennifer

[mama2girls]

I also like the Flylady site, it has really helped me with routines. I also like Organized Home, it has lots of checklists for your entire routine you can print off and use. At Christmas time I use the sister site Organized Christmas. HTH:001_smile:

[profmom]

I haven't gotten to read the other replies yet -- I will after dinner! However, I wanted to tell you about the free MP3s "Continuing Education for Moms" from the Urban Homemaker. This is what her email says, "For those of you setting New Year's goals to expand your homemaking skills, you can download my Continuing Education Seminars for Moms (There is over 12 hours of listening)." :) The downloads are free through 12-31-08. (I haven't listened yet, but they look good.)

[swellmomma]

I haven't gotten to read the other replies yet -- I will after dinner! However, I wanted to tell you about the free MP3s "Continuing Education for Moms" from the Urban Homemaker. This is what her email says, "For those of you setting New Year's goals to expand your homemaking skills, you can download my Continuing Education Seminars for Moms (There is over 12 hours of listening)." :) The downloads are free through 12-31-08. (I haven't listened yet, but they look good.)

 

Thank you for sharing this link, I just ordered them.

[Alana in Canada]

Jennifer--I have been decluttering for years and years--and will continue to do it 'til I die!

 

One tip I picked up for clearing out utensils was this: Get a box or something and put it on the counter. Every time you use a utensil, return it to the box--not the dawer. At the end of the month anything still left in the drawer will be something you know you don't use.

 

Another tip was--everytime you lok up a recipe in a cookbook and use it, mark the page with a sticky. After an appropriate amount of time--what a year, a month, whatever seems right to you--take a look at the cookbooks that don't have any stickies in them and get rid of them.

 

In fact, cookbook decluttering and recipe management is my project for this month.

[WTMCassandra]

You've gotten some great suggestions.

 

If you have a neat-freak friend, she would probably think it's actually fun to help you declutter (I am like this so that's how I know). It would be worth it to phone your neat-freak friend and ask, anyway. The worst she could say is NO! If you and your friend could put in a couple of of Saturdays or a weekend unpacking/decluttering while your husband watches the children (preferably somewhere else!), then you could get a huge boost that gives you the courage to work on developing good daily habits.

 

Failing that, the FlyLady and MM suggestions are right on target. You could start with one habit, like doing the dishes after each meal, and when you have that down, add something else.

[Jill- OK]

Darn, Jill! I just ordered this morning and had no idea there were affliliates. I totally would have gone through your blog if I had known. :glare:

 

It's the thought that counts. :D

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

In case no one said it above...(my apologies and seconding your advice if I missed the comment)

 

1) Try to go to bed with the house as tidy as possible, ie dishes and toys picked up, clothes/dirty laundry put away, all the stuff you needed for lessons returned to their shelves/baskets. You need to set your standards for this and enlist help! I'm not necessarily talking dusting and moping at 10pm just a quick tidy-up. I find that if I can accomplish this at night I don't waste precious morning hours with the kids working on housework.

 

2) Try to follow the notebook idea. Use your computer, PDA, cell phone, binder-whatever works for you. I have one that has frequently used addresses/phone numbers, monthly calendar pages, schedules and lists for homeschooling, to do lists, menu planning, basically everything. It stopped lots of trips to the phonebook, sorting though scraps and files. Its big but its my new best friend--ok not friend but certainly personal assistant. I plan on working up to one for the house that is less portable but a one stop for takeout menus, repair guys numbers, appliance guides, lists of light bulbs used, touch up paint colors, etc. All that stuff you hunt for when desperate.

 

3) Learn to say good bye to what you don't need. Thrift stores and other charaties have received many of our castoffs. Some friends have received some and we have received theirs. Just assess your storage space vs. stuff. I also enlist the kids-your room only holds x number of toys, which are important and what do we do with the others? They are surprisingly good at choosing what they love, what is broken and what isn't being used.

 

4) I'm really not very good at this but...boy is life easier when I plan menus for the week. That removes so much effort and mental thought time.

 

5) Sometimes housework goes more quickly if I have good music to listen to.

 

It can be done-perhaps if you break your goals into monthly goals rather than a huge New Years resolution. Ie: during January we will have a tidy kitchen after meals, in February we will also have laundry and bed making in order, in March we add a schedule for bathroom and floor cleaning...

 

Perhaps some of us adults could benefit from the CM style habit training?