Calling on your collective wisdom and experience - bottle refusal

[chocolate-chip chooky]

My grandson is 3.5 months. He is fully breastfed, but I bottle-fed him expressed breastmilk on a few occasions in the early weeks, with no issue.

Now though, he is refusing the bottle. This is making it very tricky to babysit him for longer than a couple of hours.

My daughter has tried a couple of times too, and he refuses it from her also. So, it isn't that it is me. It's the bottle itself for some reason.

Apparently this is reasonably common around 3ish months, because reflex sucking is gone, and preferences kick in.

Last night, I tried a range of things with zero success:

- same place/position as mum breastfeeding AND completely different place/position

- dark room AND lit room

- sitting AND while walking around

- warming up the teat 

- playing with the bottle around his mouth while he was happy

- offering it when he wasn't too hungry AND offering it when he was very hungry

- dripping little bits in his mouth 

 

Please help us out if you have any advice. This really needs to be solved asap.

Thank you 🌻

[wendyroo]

You could try a small cup, or sippy cup with the valve removed so he doesn't have to suck on it.

[prairiewindmomma]

I’d try different bottles, if you can, or syringe feed if you absolutely need to get milk in.

 

[Renai]

My youngest was like this. Absolutely refused the bottle - forever. I switched to a cup when I needed a babysitter, or she waited until I got back. It was not an easy time AT ALL. I always wondered if the child was feeding while I was gone. She was a ravenous, feed-every-1.5 hours child. But, going 2 hours didn't hurt her if she didn't eat. She's 13 years old now and taller than me!

[Terabith]

Yeah, some babies are just like that. In an absolute emergency, you do what you have to to get milk in (syringe, cup, whatever), but mostly I just didn’t leave that baby hardly ever.  

Edited March 16 by Terabith

[chocolate-chip chooky]

8 minutes ago, wendyroo said:

You could try a small cup, or sippy cup with the valve removed so he doesn't have to suck on it.

We'll definitely give this a go. Last night I gave a little EBM with a small spoon, but it was too slow-going to keep a 3month old happy.

[Renai]

1 minute ago, Terabith said:

Yeah, some babies are just like that. In an absolute emergency, you do what you have to to get milk in (syringe, cup, whatever), but mostly I just didn’t leave that baby hardly ever.  

Yeah, she went with me almost everywhere because she liked to eat so much. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

7 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

I’d try different bottles, if you can, or syringe feed if you absolutely need to get milk in.

 

So far, we only have one brand of bottle and teat, so it may be worth investing in something in a different shape and material.  $$ though.

And yes, we'll syringe if need be. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

I REALLY appreciate you all helping me. 

Just brainstorming and hearing other experiences is really helpful.

Thank you 🌻

[chocolate-chip chooky]

5 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Yeah, some babies are just like it. In an absolute emergency, you do what you have to to get milk in (syringe, cup, whatever), but mostly I just didn’t leave that baby hardly ever.  

I kind of expect we'll be like that if we don't find a solution, but my daughter needs time for things like her own appointments.

Luckily, this little guy's feeds are getting more spaced out already, so it's mostly not too long that he's without his fave milk supply. But when he's hungry, he's hungry NOW.

[barnwife]

Agreeing with pp...try a different bottle or nipple or use a sippy cup. 

Thankfully, this should be a short stage (which feels long while you are in it), because in just a few months baby can be eating table foods!

[Arcadia]

My boys won’t take Avent. They only take Nuk. They like slim bottles with the slim Nuk teats.

https://www.nuk.com.au/bottles-accessories/teats.html

[chocolate-chip chooky]

9 minutes ago, barnwife said:

Agreeing with pp...try a different bottle or nipple or use a sippy cup. 

Thankfully, this should be a short stage (which feels long while you are in it), because in just a few months baby can be eating table foods!

I can understand why a different teat would make a difference (shape, smell, taste), but why would the bottle itself matter? We'll definitely keep this in mind though, thank you.

And yes, solids won't be too far away. But these next couple of months may feel long.

[Arcadia]

16 minutes ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

but why would the bottle itself matter

My kids just don’t like wide bottles. They will take a house brand bottle that is as skinny as the skinny Nuk ones. To them Avent is too wide. I think wide bottles firstly block their view, and secondly harder to grip with one hand. 
 

ETA: mine could drink from a straw cup around that age. They have strong sucking abilities 🤣

Edited March 16 by Arcadia

[ScoutTN]

58 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Yeah, some babies are just like that. In an absolute emergency, you do what you have to to get milk in (syringe, cup, whatever), but mostly I just didn’t leave that baby hardly ever.  

Yes, this was me with Dd.

Occasionally a cup did work, but she would never take a bottle of any kind. 🙄🙄

[prairiewindmomma]

Fwiw, if I could only buy one new bottle to try, it would be one aimed at preemies who typically have latch or flow issues. The brand here I found useful is Dr. Brown’s. It’s designed to limit air bubbles in babies/wind discomfort. They are totally fine to use with older babies…just a better design.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

35 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

My kids just don’t like wide bottles. They will take a house brand bottle that is as skinny as the skinny Nuk ones. To them Avent is too wide. I think wide bottles firstly block their view, and secondly harder to grip with one hand. 
 

ETA: mine could drink from a straw cup around that age. They have strong sucking abilities 🤣

A straw cup at 3 months? That gives me hope. Thank you. We'll add it to the list to try.

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

A straw cup at 3 months? That gives me hope. Thank you. We'll add it to the list to try.

We took those sample size 3 ounce cup, cut a straw in half, and gave it to them at that age, with adult supervision. Straws don’t block their view, mine are busybodies even at newborn. 

[Alice]

My middle son was like this. What finally worked for us (at the recommendation of a LC) was to feed him sitting on the person's lap facing outwards, so not at all in the usual "feeding position". He would take enough that way to get him through. I worked about 8 hours  at time twice a week and dh was home with him. Dh could get him to take just enough that way so that he was satisfied but he would eat a ton as soon as I walked in the door. He would never take the bottle from me or if I was in the house. 

[Momof4sweetkids]

My first three refused. I just took them everywhere with me. But I didn't work so it wasn't necessary to leave them, it just would have been nice.

[Starr]

I doubt he will take a bottle at all from mom. He knows she’s got the goods. I agree with the others . Try a different bottle or cup. Mine were with me because they didn’t love bottles. 

[Clarita]

I don't know what my DD would have done if I had to work. She never took a bottle. Basically didn't leave my side until she was solidly on solids (7months). She was in the room with me for my Mastitis/clogged duct surprise surgery. So, no help just commiserating. 

[bookbard]

You can use an open cup with a baby - they actually recommend that in poor countries as it's easier to wash an open cup properly than a bottle and teat. 

My baby would go for hours in between feeds, and then cluster feed like crazy. 

[Laura Corin]

I seem to remember using a sippy cup really early with my second who refused the bottle. 

[cjzimmer1]

All 6 of mine started sippy cups around that age. We never used bottles.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

Thanks heaps, everyone.

We've bought a sippy cup to try, and some syringes as emergency back up.

We'll try a few variations in position too.

12 hours ago, bookbard said:

You can use an open cup with a baby - they actually recommend that in poor countries as it's easier to wash an open cup properly than a bottle and teat. 

My baby would go for hours in between feeds, and then cluster feed like crazy. 

Like a medicine cup? We'll try!

If none of that works, we'll try a different brand of bottle/teat.

[bookbard]

7 minutes ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

Like a medicine cup? We'll try!

 

Yes. And when I was working with babies with Down syndrome, it was recommended to use an open cup from an early age to develop mouth muscle strength and coordination. They used medicine cups.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

Have any of you had experience with the issue of stored breastmilk tasting icky? Just wondering how common it is.

We've read about it as one possible explanation for bottle refusal. Apparently the lipase can act quickly in some EBM, making the stored milk taste soapy. 

Can't say I've had a taste though.

It's possible that trying formula could be one solution.

 

[KSera]

2 hours ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

Have any of you had experience with the issue of stored breastmilk tasting icky? Just wondering how common it is.

We've read about it as one possible explanation for bottle refusal. Apparently the lipase can act quickly in some EBM, making the stored milk taste soapy. 

Can't say I've had a taste though.

It's possible that trying formula could be one solution.

 

I had that with my first, but never even tried pumping with my next couple. I didn’t have it with my last. It gives a soapy taste. I would suggest baby’s mom taste it to see. You can scald the milk before storing and it won’t happen. 

[Terabith]

My oldest was fed through exclusive pumping, and honestly, my boobs were big enough and saggy enough that I could "drink from the tap."  So I had experiences with both.  We also lived in an apartment and didn't have a great freezer with my oldest, so any milk that she didn't drink before it would go bad, we were trying to use up, so I drank a fair amount of breast milk in different forms.  

I never had it taste soapy, but it would separate, and it definitely tasted very different depending on when it was pumped.  So foremilk tastes very different from hindmilk, for instance, and when I had mastitis, it was very salty.  It definitely changed in taste a lot from time to time.  

[Carol in Cal.]

My kid was like this.  She concluded that she was never taking a bottle again, and she made it stick.  Unfortunately, she arrived at this decision during the church service where she was being baptized, which was also the only time in her life that I wore something that I absolutely could not nurse discreetly in.  This was so bad, but it became a favorite family story.

[busymama7]

It's too late for this baby but if you want another baby to be willing to switch back and forth easily then a bottle needs to be given once a day from very early on, like 2 weeks.  That was too much hassle for me personally so I just took baby everywhere with me.  Lots of other good suggestions here.  He may adapt but it is definitely harder at this age. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

19 hours ago, Terabith said:

My oldest was fed through exclusive pumping, and honestly, my boobs were big enough and saggy enough that I could "drink from the tap."  So I had experiences with both.  We also lived in an apartment and didn't have a great freezer with my oldest, so any milk that she didn't drink before it would go bad, we were trying to use up, so I drank a fair amount of breast milk in different forms.  

I never had it taste soapy, but it would separate, and it definitely tasted very different depending on when it was pumped.  So foremilk tastes very different from hindmilk, for instance, and when I had mastitis, it was very salty.  It definitely changed in taste a lot from time to time.  

I can't quite find the right emoji for this 😄, but thank you for the info!

[chocolate-chip chooky]

15 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

My kid was like this.  She concluded that she was never taking a bottle again, and she made it stick.  Unfortunately, she arrived at this decision during the church service where she was being baptized, which was also the only time in her life that I wore something that I absolutely could not nurse discreetly in.  This was so bad, but it became a favorite family story.

Oh my. Hopefully you can laugh about it now.

[katilac]

7 hours ago, busymama7 said:

It's too late for this baby but if you want another baby to be willing to switch back and forth easily then a bottle needs to be given once a day from very early on, like 2 weeks.  That was too much hassle for me personally so I just took baby everywhere with me.  Lots of other good suggestions here.  He may adapt but it is definitely harder at this age. 

This is worth doing, but my stubborn baby had strong bottle refusal from the first attempt, which was on the second day of her life, lol. 

She also spit out every pacifier known to man (we got different ones as gifts). Apparently, she thought any kind of rubbery taste was disgusting. 

I just took her everywhere as well, until she started some solid food. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

5 minutes ago, katilac said:

This is worth doing, but my stubborn baby had strong bottle refusal from the first attempt, which was on the second day of her life, lol. 

She also spit out every pacifier known to man (we got different ones as gifts). Apparently, she thought any kind of rubbery taste was disgusting. 

I just took her everywhere as well, until she started some solid food. 

I wonder how parents cope in this situation when the mum can't breastfeed for some reason. I assume they try the ideas like little cups and syringes. Whatever it takes to get the nutrition in, I guess.

[bookbard]

15 minutes ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

I wonder how parents cope in this situation when the mum can't breastfeed for some reason. I assume they try the ideas like little cups and syringes. Whatever it takes to get the nutrition in, I guess.

There's also this: https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/supply-line#:~:text=A supply line (also called,your neck and fine tubing.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

2 hours ago, bookbard said:

There's also this: https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/supply-line#:~:text=A supply line (also called,your neck and fine tubing.

I've never seen those before. Thanks for sharing.

I have three daughters. Two were exclusively breastfed; never a bottle even tried. Looking back, it's kind of amazing that we never needed to try a bottle.

My middle daughter was exclusively naso-gastric tube fed - she couldn't suck, swallow and breathe in coordination. 

Between 3 daughters and 30 years of mothering, here I am asking about how to get a baby to take a bottle! 

[KSera]

1 hour ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

I've never seen those before. Thanks for sharing.

You can use them to finger feed as well, if baby is willing to suck on your finger. It’s a bit of a pain to use full time due to cleaning all those little tubes, but invaluable when you need it. And for occasional feeds like you’re looking for, could be a good option if nothing else works. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

10 minutes ago, KSera said:

You can use them to finger feed as well, if baby is willing to suck on your finger. It’s a bit of a pain to use full time due to cleaning all those little tubes, but invaluable when you need it. And for occasional feeds like you’re looking for, could be a good option if nothing else works. 

That is a great idea - thank you 🌻

We got our little man happily sucking on just the teat of a bottle yesterday, so this could be another tool in our tool kit. Yippee!

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

We got our little man happily sucking on just the teat of a bottle yesterday

Teething? My DS19’s baby teeth came in early and fast. He had the full set when he turned one. My DS18’s teeth came in early but not as fast.

My relatives who were breastfeed had ebm at times so mom could have uninterrupted sleep so they had bottles early. All have preferences for favorite bottle teats.

Also, take a look at the teats size. Mine were on EBM and formula and they get cranky when the teats are the wrong size. They outgrew the newborn teats very early. They were on 8oz (240ml) bottles when they were less than 2 weeks old.
 

FYI  Assessing the flow rate of different bottles and teats: An Australian context https://metronorth.health.qld.gov.au/rbwh/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/08/disc-0050.pdf

[saraha]

. EBM in a bottle never really worked for me, for some reason it just made them mad! 😆 we did formula in a bottle if needed. I had one kid who needed a bottle later than the rest and to prepare for that we did formula dropped from a straw with a finger over the end so they got used to the taste first, then the bottle with the taste they were familiar with. By the time #6 came along, we had one of every bottle and teat on the market.

I hope you figure something out soon!

[chocolate-chip chooky]

48 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Teething? My DS19’s baby teeth came in early and fast. He had the full set when he turned one. My DS18’s teeth came in early but not as fast.

My relatives who were breastfeed had ebm at times so mom could have uninterrupted sleep so they had bottles early. All have preferences for favorite bottle teats.

Also, take a look at the teats size. Mine were on EBM and formula and they get cranky when the teats are the wrong size. They outgrew the newborn teats very early. They were on 8oz (240ml) bottles when they were less than 2 weeks old.
 

FYI  Assessing the flow rate of different bottles and teats: An Australian context https://metronorth.health.qld.gov.au/rbwh/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/08/disc-0050.pdf

We do think teething may be in the mix right now, just to keep things interesting.

We tried two different teat sizes, 0-3mth and 3-6mth, and he was all nopety nope nope to both.

Thanks heaps for your suggestions.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

7 minutes ago, saraha said:

. EBM in a bottle never really worked for me, for some reason it just made them mad! 😆 we did formula in a bottle if needed. I had one kid who needed a bottle later than the rest and to prepare for that we did formula dropped from a straw with a finger over the end so they got used to the taste first, then the bottle with the taste they were familiar with. By the time #6 came along, we had one of every bottle and teat on the market.

I hope you figure something out soon!

We haven't actually tried formula at all yet; just EBM. We have a tin of formula, but we're hesitant to crack it open and waste it. It's $$$$. We're hoping to find some sample sizes if possible. 

Thank you for the advice with the straw. We're adding all ideas to our toolbox!

[Arcadia]

10 minutes ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

We're hoping to find some sample sizes if possible. 

My smaller sample cans came from my obgyn clinic while the larger sample cans came from the maternity hospitals. However, the mom have to ask because of the WHO initiative on breastfeeding. The maternity nurse told me they are not allowed to offer any free samples because they are supposed to encourage breastfeeding only but they can give if the mom request. My neighbors were giving away unopened samples too because we could request samples from  Enfamil and Similac here in the states and they would usually give at least two small cans.