Blech. I just had to write the most 21st century 'Murican email

[HomeAgain]

DS is starting 8th grade at school.  His math teacher sent out class expectations today with the caveat that all phones will be kept in backpacks.  And I had to write why that doesn't work for us:

Good morning Ms. X,

 

I've just read over your course expectations and I agree with most of them.  We strongly prefer that our son keep his phone in his pocket.  It has nothing to do with communication and should be taken away if he uses it during class.

 

But during a school shooting we need to know if our son is lying dead on the floor, unconscious at a hospital, or has been evacuated to a safe location.  His phone tracks his movements during school but his backpack would be left behind during an evacuation.

 

If this is not a possible concession please let us know and we will see about moving him to a different class.

 

Gosh, I wish we were in a different country!

[Faith-manor]

It's heartbreaking that you had to write that. I am so sorry! You are not wrong at all, and yes, I would move him to another class if the teacher cannot admit things are this bad. You want someone in charge who gets it.

[mommyoffive]

1 hour ago, HomeAgain said:

DS is starting 8th grade at school.  His math teacher sent out class expectations today with the caveat that all phones will be kept in backpacks.  And I had to write why that doesn't work for us:

Good morning Ms. X,

 

I've just read over your course expectations and I agree with most of them.  We strongly prefer that our son keep his phone in his pocket.  It has nothing to do with communication and should be taken away if he uses it during class.

 

But during a school shooting we need to know if our son is lying dead on the floor, unconscious at a hospital, or has been evacuated to a safe location.  His phone tracks his movements during school but his backpack would be left behind during an evacuation.

 

If this is not a possible concession please let us know and we will see about moving him to a different class.

 

Gosh, I wish we were in a different country!

Me too.  No parent should have to write an email like that or even think about it.  I hate having mass shootings on my mind all the time.  

[TheReader]

I'm so sorry this is our reality these days. 

We've always just instructed our kiddos -- put it on silent/DND, leave it in your pocket, then end. They aren't going to pat you down, and if it comes out or goes off and gets confiscated, you deserved it and there will be consequences. It wouldn't have donned on me to email the teacher (but then, neither are we in public school, so probably that's a bit different). 

[SKL]

In my kids' school, they have their backpacks with them all the time.

[KSera]

1 minute ago, SKL said:

In my kids' school, they have their backpacks with them all the time.

But likely not in the case of a shooting—most are not going to grab their backpacks in that situation. 😞 

[prairiewindmomma]

43 minutes ago, KSera said:

But likely not in the case of a shooting—most are not going to grab their backpacks in that situation. 😞 

During the fire and gun incidents mine have had at school, they had their backpacks each time. They carry them with them to each class, and they know that the building will be locked down afterwards if there is an evacuation. Waiting for staff to be free to go to each locker, one by one, to fetch keys or supplies takes literal hours. If my kids think they are being evacuated, they grab their backpacks already at their feet. 
 

OP, we do the same re: phones. Phones are tucked away, but not surrendered. Too much has happened for us to feel comfortable with phones being surrendered.

[KSera]

11 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

During the fire and gun incidents mine have had at school, they had their backpacks each time. They carry them with them to each class, and they know that the building will be locked down afterwards if there is an evacuation. Waiting for staff to be free to go to each locker, one by one, to fetch keys or supplies takes literal hours. If my kids think they are being evacuated, they grab their backpacks already at their feet. 
 

OP, we do the same re: phones. Phones are tucked away, but not surrendered. Too much has happened for us to feel comfortable with phones being surrendered.

I’m guessing these have all been drills and not an actual person shooting on campus? Seems like it’s only in the case of an actual incident where it becomes relevant that the kid has a phone on their person and those are the occasions when I think backpacks would likely be left behind if people are running to get away. But either way, I agree with phones being silenced and tucked away. If they’re not causing an issue, no one will know they’re there. 

[TheReader]

10 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

During the fire and gun incidents mine have had at school, they had their backpacks each time. They carry them with them to each class, and they know that the building will be locked down afterwards if there is an evacuation. Waiting for staff to be free to go to each locker, one by one, to fetch keys or supplies takes literal hours. If my kids think they are being evacuated, they grab their backpacks already at their feet. 
 

OP, we do the same re: phones. Phones are tucked away, but not surrendered. Too much has happened for us to feel comfortable with phones being surrendered.

re: whether they'd have them or not -- if the worst happened, and someone was actually shot in an incident, and the phone was in the backpack, a 1st responder getting injured kids out in the aftermath would not also be rounding up backpacks. So, phone would show still at the school, and mom would not know is kid there? evac'ed? injured? not injured? 

If phone is in pocket, it goes with. Kid is evac'ed to the "parents, come here to pick up your kids, not to the school" place -- phone will show that location.  Kid is injured and taken to a hospital -- phone will show that.  Kid's phone shows still at the school - mom knows to go wait over there, whether for the worst or not (maybe kid is just still in a room in lockdown and fine, but this way mom knows which location is correct). 

 

[Grace Hopper]

It may be drilled into them to take it when evacuating led by a teacher. Of law enforcement comes to clear a room I imagine they will hustle the kids out asap - no grabbing of personal items, just skeddadle. 

[prairiewindmomma]

17 minutes ago, KSera said:

I’m guessing these have all been drills and not an actual person shooting on campus? Seems like it’s only in the case of an actual incident where it becomes relevant that the kid has a phone on their person and those are the occasions when I think backpacks would likely be left behind if people are running to get away. But either way, I agree with phones being silenced and tucked away. If they’re not causing an issue, no one will know they’re there. 

I’ll pm you. 

[HomeAgain]

Thanks for understanding, all.

The teacher wrote back: "I'm a parent.  I get it.  He may keep his phone on him."

 

I know what the protocol here is for active shooters:  Move to the corner of the classroom nearest to the door.  Create barricade of desks/furniture and be very quiet.  Throw things at the intruder.  When told to leave, put hands up evacuating the school and get to the evacuation point.  There is no room in this for backpacks or any sort of ability to hide weapons in a bag while blending into the crowd leaving.

I'll be matter of fact about it: I just want to know where my kid's body is so we can not add to the confusion and panic. I need to know if he is going by ambulance and which hospital it would be (main, smaller main, or airlifted to city).  And I hate that this is just a run of the mill consideration now, like deciding what to wear on picture day or remembering to pack pencils. 

[MEmama]

4 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

Thanks for understanding, all.

The teacher wrote back: "I'm a parent.  I get it.  He may keep his phone on him."

 

I know what the protocol here is for active shooters:  Move to the corner of the classroom nearest to the door.  Create barricade of desks/furniture and be very quiet.  Throw things at the intruder.  When told to leave, put hands up evacuating the school and get to the evacuation point.  There is no room in this for backpacks or any sort of ability to hide weapons in a bag while blending into the crowd leaving.

I'll be matter of fact about it: I just want to know where my kid's body is so we can not add to the confusion and panic. I need to know if he is going by ambulance and which hospital it would be (main, smaller main, or airlifted to city).  And I hate that this is just a run of the mill consideration now, like deciding what to wear on picture day or remembering to pack pencils. 

I'm glad they understood and you didn't have to fight. Even thinking about is hard enough.

Good for you for speaking up!

[prairiewindmomma]

I grieve with you.

What’s heartbreaking to me is that when I ask, “So what incident has happened this past year in your kids’ schools?” there is always an answer, no matter where my friend in the US lives.  

 

[Ting Tang]

I was reading an article on this, and many teachers thought it was for the best that students were allowed to have their phones with them.  Perhaps keep them on silent, or heck--if it is an important call, step out and take it.  We no longer have payphones.  

I know many young kids are addicted to playing games on their phones, just as many adults are addicted to scrolling and whatnot.  But I do believe young students can learn how to be responsible for their phone usage.  This is the world we are living in, so they should be taught how to live with it.

I like how the teacher honored your wishes.  Maybe they can rethink how they approach this matter.  I can think of so many reasons why having access to a phone would be helpful, not just in an active shooter situation.

[Katy]

Does your PTA have lists of teacher's favorites?  I'd send the man some beef jerky or something. That was too easy.

[HomeAgain]

1 minute ago, Katy said:

Does your PTA have lists of teacher's favorites?  I'd send the man some beef jerky or something. That was too easy.

😄

I'll have to see what I can throw in her bag.  It's math, so maybe I can find something.  I have a row of grocery bags in my living room right now with supplies for every teacher: tissues, markers, clorox wipes, pencils, extra composition books and then specific things like readers for the new Latin teacher to build her bookshelf and post-its for the English teacher.  It's the high school, and kids don't bring in classroom things anymore.  But then the teachers get 100 kids like mine who get sniffles in the winter and allergies in the spring, and go through a box of kleenex each week.

[4kidlets4me]

I wrote a very similar email this morning. My DS's math teacher wanted all phones in a bucket in the classroom. Nope, sorry I want my kid to have his phone in his pocket. 

[ScoutTN]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

In my kids' school, they have their backpacks with them all the time.

But they might not in an emergency. Weird stuff happens. 

[Kassia]

We were so grateful ds had his phone with him when our high school shooting happened.  We heard from him that he was okay minutes before we even knew the shooting happened.  He called and said, "there was a shooting.  I'm okay" and hung up.  We live in a small town with no crime and I thought he meant a bb gun or something like that.  Then I heard the sirens.  SO many sirens.  😞  He was very close to where the shooting happened, saw most of it, and crawled to a back room to get away (it was in the school cafeteria) and that's when he contacted us.  He definitely didn't have a bookbag with him.  6 kids shot;  3 of them died.  

So glad the teacher backed off immediately.  

[amiesmom]

I hadn't even thought of that. Our school put in a new policy this year - no phones out during class. My DS always has his in his pocket, but DD's pockets are too small. However, every time they have been locked down (not a drill, due to actual threats) they have both communicated with me. They always casually mention where they are. I think they want to come across as not afraid, but they are. My DD said something like "we're all in the band room closet, but if a shooter comes in I think I have a better chance of surviving than others." 😭

[Kassia]

23 minutes ago, amiesmom said:

I hadn't even thought of that. Our school put in a new policy this year - no phones out during class. My DS always has his in his pocket, but DD's pockets are too small. However, every time they have been locked down (not a drill, due to actual threats) they have both communicated with me. They always casually mention where they are. I think they want to come across as not afraid, but they are. My DD said something like "we're all in the band room closet, but if a shooter comes in I think I have a better chance of surviving than others." 😭

It's so sad that our kids are growing up like this.  😞  Just heartbreaking.  

After our shooting, when my kids were still in school, I always made sure I knew what classroom/building they were in all day and kept that posted in case something happened.  I did this all the way through college for each of them.   

[Heartstrings]

Besides the active shooter issues, a lot of the bad things that happen in schools are only found out about or believed because of kids recording things with their cell phones.  Fights, abuse from teachers, the stories this past week of all the black and brown kids getting a special “assembly” to discuss poor testing and offered fried chicken to do better,  or of the school that ran out of cafeteria food and told no one. A child I know locally told me 2 fights have ended with pepper spray from the SRO, just since school started.

 I want my kid slyly recording anything like that, because the adults have incentive to lie.  I don’t trust them. Which is why my kids are at home in the first place.  

Edited August 31, 2023 by Heartstrings

[MEmama]

6 minutes ago, Kassia said:

It's so sad that our kids are growing up like this.  😞  Just heartbreaking.  

After our shooting, when my kids were still in school, I always made sure I knew what classroom/building they were in all day and kept that posted in case something happened.  I did this all the way through college for each of them.   

((Hugs)). 
 

I can't imagine ever feeling not worried and traumatized after they went through that 😞 

[kirstenhill]

The public middle school where my DS11 is taking band and gym has a new "phones must be in lockers" policy.   He doesn't have a phone yet and probably won't for a couple more years, but it will be interesting to hear how it goes and if they keep the policy.  They surveyed parents over the summer, and part of the decision to implement it was that the vast majority of parents indicated support for students being required to keep phones in lockers (students with medical monitoring needs are exempted, of course).   I didn't vote since my kid is just a very part time student and doesn't even have a phone, but I was frankly surprised that parents were so supportive,  given the reasons mentioned here.  

FWIW, the high school in the same district where DS16 and DS14 attend don't have this policy. 

[rebcoola]

Wow your tracker is better than ours, ours definitely wouldn't help know if my kids are in class versus outside etc..  

The rule is no phones in class or they take it to end of day

 

[Heartstrings]

48 minutes ago, rebcoola said:

Wow your tracker is better than ours, ours definitely wouldn't help know if my kids are in class versus outside etc..  

 

Really?   We just use find my iPhone and I can see which office my husband is in and definitely if he’s in the parking lot instead of the building.  I happened to check it just right last week to see his little dot drive through the parking lot, turn onto the street and stop at a red light.  
(I’m not a stalker I promise!  I was trying to time lunch.). 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

I just can't even imagine living like this. I'm sorry you all have this as your reality.

[Katy]

4 hours ago, amiesmom said:

I hadn't even thought of that. Our school put in a new policy this year - no phones out during class. My DS always has his in his pocket, but DD's pockets are too small. However, every time they have been locked down (not a drill, due to actual threats) they have both communicated with me. They always casually mention where they are. I think they want to come across as not afraid, but they are. My DD said something like "we're all in the band room closet, but if a shooter comes in I think I have a better chance of surviving than others." 😭

Might I suggest asking her if she’d wear a very small crossbody bag that’s only big enough for a phone, maybe some feminine hygiene products, and some cards? It’s helpful not only for these situations but also useful for stadium or college security requirements.  I bought a couple recently.  I found one for $20 at Target (a New Day brand), and one on Amazon for $48 (Baggallini Take Two Bryant Crossbody -small travel bag with RFID Blocking). There’s lots of options out there. 

58 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

Really?   We just use find my iPhone and I can see which office my husband is in and definitely if he’s in the parking lot instead of the building.  I happened to check it just right last week to see his little dot drive through the parking lot, turn onto the street and stop at a red light.  
(I’m not a stalker I promise!  I was trying to time lunch.). 

My kids schools are masonry construction with tons of metal reinforcement so even outside under the awnings there’s very little signal. In the offices, when I’ve gone in for placement or other meetings there is no service at all. On the one hand, bullets will not go through classrooms. OTOH, won’t work for my kids. 

[Sneezyone]

9 hours ago, HomeAgain said:

DS is starting 8th grade at school.  His math teacher sent out class expectations today with the caveat that all phones will be kept in backpacks.  And I had to write why that doesn't work for us:

Good morning Ms. X,

 

I've just read over your course expectations and I agree with most of them.  We strongly prefer that our son keep his phone in his pocket.  It has nothing to do with communication and should be taken away if he uses it during class.

 

But during a school shooting we need to know if our son is lying dead on the floor, unconscious at a hospital, or has been evacuated to a safe location.  His phone tracks his movements during school but his backpack would be left behind during an evacuation.

 

If this is not a possible concession please let us know and we will see about moving him to a different class.

 

Gosh, I wish we were in a different country!

I made the same speech at our school board mtg this week. No regrets. If teachers ask, they’ll get the same answer: DS will keep his Apple Watch. TYVM.

Edited September 1, 2023 by Sneezyone

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

The parents at my daughter’s school pretty much 100% voted on a no cell phone policy.  Cell phones are either in lockers or backpacks.  With the dress code there aren’t really pockets to keep them in unless you happen to have a pair of jeans with deep pockets.

There is no cell service at her private school anyway due to its fairly rural location. But they polled the parents on a cell phone policy and it was like 98.9% wanted cell phones in lockers or backpacks. Preferably lockers during the school day.  But also, I’ve noticed that the parents at this school seem to be overall very low tech for their kids and many of the kids don’t have cell phones until high school(at least from the school’s family Facebook page)so that may play into it. 

i just asked Ds13 about his school rules at his public school and he said it has to be in a backpack except for lunch. They’ll get a write up if it’s found to be in a pocket or hand. He doesn’t know if there are rules about an Apple Watch though, since he doesn’t have one he hasn’t really paid attention to that. I wouldn’t know if parents had complained about this policy, but he says it’s been like that for the two years he’s had a phone.

 

Edited September 1, 2023 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again

[Lecka]

I think it’s a totally fair point.  
 

For those parents whose child would benefit from the “away in the backpack” policy, I wonder about other options for tracking.  My son could possibly carry an apple tag in his wallet.  I’m not sure about my daughter.

 

My daughter would be better off to put her phone in a backpack.  I would look for a different option for her because I would be worried she would take her phone out in class.  
 

I’m aware of trackers that can be worn on bracelet or anklet, or attached to shoelaces, for special needs.  She would not do any of that.  
 

Her school is also one with poor cell service, though.  We would not get that information.

 

I’m also doubtful that my husband and I would be aware of an emergency in real time.  We don’t get news alerts.  We don’t check our e-mail all day.  I could see us being called if something was on tv and a relative saw it, but we often only find out about things hours after they are over.  

[Lecka]

Separately — I don’t know the details, but someone told me about using Life 360 at the school with poor cell reception.  I am not sure if it gives better locations but maybe it does?  
 

 

[Sneezyone]

An apple tag on a carabiner could work for some but DS is often wearing bb shorts with no loops. That also doesn’t provide two way communication. DS attends a suburban HS with 2400+ kids. I’m not comfy running all my comms through office staff. At all. I suspect the school staff aren’t either.

Edited September 1, 2023 by Sneezyone

[rebcoola]

3 hours ago, Heartstrings said:

Really?   We just use find my iPhone and I can see which office my husband is in and definitely if he’s in the parking lot instead of the building.  I happened to check it just right last week to see his little dot drive through the parking lot, turn onto the street and stop at a red light.  
(I’m not a stalker I promise!  I was trying to time lunch.). 

I guess I never tried the find phone thing to locate my kids.  They show up on Google maps  since we share location.

Both kids have tiles in their wallets so if it ever comes up I can use those to locate them.

 

 

Edited September 1, 2023 by rebcoola

[Heartstrings]

1 hour ago, rebcoola said:

I guess I never tried the find phone thing to locate my kids.  They show up on Google maps  since we share location.

Both kids have tiles in their wallets so if it ever comes up I can use those to locate them.

 

 

I was dumb and let the kids get androids, so no find my iphone with my kids, only the husband.  I'll have to figure out Life360 before my 15 year old starts driving for sure. 

[Dmmetler]

I think I'd buy my kid an apple watch if they couldn't keep a phone. 
 

Of course, I'm also the parent who sent a phone with my then 9 yr old to a "no devices" summer camp program, just in case.

[ScoutTN]

35 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

I think I'd buy my kid an apple watch if they couldn't keep a phone. 

Yes, this.

[HomeAgain]

8 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

I think I'd buy my kid an apple watch if they couldn't keep a phone. 
 

Of course, I'm also the parent who sent a phone with my then 9 yr old to a "no devices" summer camp program, just in case.

Those are on the list of "in backpack only".

I don't mind not sending a phone with my kid to camp most of the time.  At scout camp he's within the care of 3 adults who I know would not hesitate to contact me. The child bleeds like a fire hydrant and they are well aware of his issues. At youth camp, he was a stone's throw away from home.   At military camp.........well, we were glad we insisted. The area was flooded, roads washed out, no power or cell service. We were able to get a hold of ds before we politely insisted to the director that an email needed to be sent to families, now, on the status of the camp/kids.

DS wears sweats/basketball shorts most of the time.  His phone stayed in his pocket all last year and it wasn't an issue  with any of his teachers.  I could airtag him, but that's something the little kids do here, not high schoolers.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

9 hours ago, Heartstrings said:

I was dumb and let the kids get androids, so no find my iphone with my kids, only the husband.  I'll have to figure out Life360 before my 15 year old starts driving for sure. 

My kids have androids; I use google family link and so far the  locations have been very accurate.

[Heartstrings]

55 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

My kids have androids; I use google family link and so far the  locations have been very accurate.

I'll check that one out, thanks!

[Ali in OR]

Ok, I'll share the teacher perspective on this. Our school policy is also phones in your bag during class.  If you're worried about lockdowns, school shootings, our protocol (developed by some outside company so this is a widely-used protocol, not homemade) is that during a lockdown teachers shut the door which is always locked when shut, everyone gets out of sight of the window in the door, and yes, students can have their phone as long as it is silenced. They can send a message to parents. When evacuating they are to take their phone with them (but leave backpack, etc). And no school shooter has ever breached a locked door.

So here's the day-to-day challenge: many students are absolutely addicted to their phone. They can't have it on their body--they have been conditioned to check it every time they feel a notification happening. They play video games during class thinking no one sees if it's under their desk. They text during class. WITH THEIR MOM. This is a very real, daily problem that parents want communication with their child at any time during the day, and it's not appropriate during a high school math class. So yeah, we want the phone silenced and away from them during class. This is not every student, but it is a sizeable percentage of every class at every level and a way bigger problem post pandemic.

[TheReader]

51 minutes ago, Ali in OR said:

Ok, I'll share the teacher perspective on this. Our school policy is also phones in your bag during class.  If you're worried about lockdowns, school shootings, our protocol (developed by some outside company so this is a widely-used protocol, not homemade) is that during a lockdown teachers shut the door which is always locked when shut, everyone gets out of sight of the window in the door, and yes, students can have their phone as long as it is silenced. They can send a message to parents. When evacuating they are to take their phone with them (but leave backpack, etc). And no school shooter has ever breached a locked door.

So here's the day-to-day challenge: many students are absolutely addicted to their phone. They can't have it on their body--they have been conditioned to check it every time they feel a notification happening. They play video games during class thinking no one sees if it's under their desk. They text during class. WITH THEIR MOM. This is a very real, daily problem that parents want communication with their child at any time during the day, and it's not appropriate during a high school math class. So yeah, we want the phone silenced and away from them during class. This is not every student, but it is a sizeable percentage of every class at every level and a way bigger problem post pandemic.

It *is* a problem for teachers, sure. Absolutely. And even the OP said in her email - look, if he takes it out, take it up/away.  Phone misbehavior/misuse during class absolutely should be met with natural consequences of taking up the phone, etc. No one's saying don't do that. 

But.

The "no shooter has ever breached a locked door" thing.... 1 - the shooting last year in TN *started* with a shooter breaching a locked door, by shooting their way through it.   2 -- that only works for those who are not in the room/area where the shooting starts. Or if it doesn't start in the gym. Or school cafeteria. Or in between classes when kids are moving from one class to another and in the hallways. Or or or. So, sure, if your kid is not in the area where the shooting starts, then he'll hopefully get into lockdown safely, and then safely be able to retrieve his phone from his backpack (once the door is locked, out of sight, etc.). And then he'll be able to take it and have it. 

But if he's in gym class, or lunch, or study hall, or the library, or band, or the room where the shooting starts, we're back to the same problem. 

[Ali in OR]

What struck me about the TN shooting was that everyone killed was out in a hallway. It struck me because the other big problem we have is kids taking 20 min bathroom breaks--they of course are really all over the halls, on their phones, etc. We are trying to get that under control better this year too, but when I read that about the TN victims I realized how vulnerable the kids NOT in class are. Stay in my classroom during your math class--it's a pretty safe space to be and you don't need your phone on you.

[HomeAgain]

1 hour ago, Ali in OR said:

Ok, I'll share the teacher perspective on this. Our school policy is also phones in your bag during class.  If you're worried about lockdowns, school shootings, our protocol (developed by some outside company so this is a widely-used protocol, not homemade) is that during a lockdown teachers shut the door which is always locked when shut, everyone gets out of sight of the window in the door, and yes, students can have their phone as long as it is silenced. They can send a message to parents. When evacuating they are to take their phone with them (but leave backpack, etc). And no school shooter has ever breached a locked door.

So here's the day-to-day challenge: many students are absolutely addicted to their phone. They can't have it on their body--they have been conditioned to check it every time they feel a notification happening. They play video games during class thinking no one sees if it's under their desk. They text during class. WITH THEIR MOM. This is a very real, daily problem that parents want communication with their child at any time during the day, and it's not appropriate during a high school math class. So yeah, we want the phone silenced and away from them during class. This is not every student, but it is a sizeable percentage of every class at every level and a way bigger problem post pandemic.

I get this.

From a parent's perspective:

My son's classes are half on the first floor, including this teacher's.  The windows are banked open all year because of covid/flu, and are absolutely accessible as an entry point. 

Each door has a large skinny window running vertically.  The glass is thick, but not impenetrable.  2 kids broke one last year.  Glad they're locked, but that's an adorable thought that it would stop someone interested in getting in.

The school office will buzz any student in that shows up late, but until that point there are three open access points into the school without regards to safety.  The cafeteria is the main congregation point (and would be pandemonium).  The main entry/exit to it funnels into a small side road that is not near the evacuation point at all, and only has two doors in and out (not two sets of doors)

School administration is a disorganized hot mess. It is highly unlikely that in the case of a school shooting, they would be on the ball, take inventory of their population, and be able to disseminate information in a quick manner.  If my kid is shot then I, as his parent, would never forgive the admin or a teacher for taking measures that prevented my son from getting immediate medical care because his health history and identity would not be known,

I have the ability to set my kid's notifications and data to DND, and do so, restricting it to approved contacts during those hours.  He knows this and we do it sitting here together. That said, learning to self regulate is important, and I think it is a skill that should be taught in a 21st century classroom that also expects students to be on Chromebooks/Ipads all day.  Requiring a policy at the high school level that does not allow for moving into a college world successfully is a harmful stance for a teacher to take, and it's one you should reconsider what your exact role should be in this.

 

 I assess risks in the best way I know how and meet them where I can.  I'll do everything I can to make his teachers' lives a little easier, especially with being upfront with my concerns and requests for them, as well as expectations for my own kid.

 

[Dmmetler]

40 minutes ago, Ali in OR said:

What struck me about the TN shooting was that everyone killed was out in a hallway. It struck me because the other big problem we have is kids taking 20 min bathroom breaks--they of course are really all over the halls, on their phones, etc. We are trying to get that under control better this year too, but when I read that about the TN victims I realized how vulnerable the kids NOT in class are. Stay in my classroom during your math class--it's a pretty safe space to be and you don't need your phone on you.

It's kind of a catch-22. Either you have 1-2 kids out in the hall at a time...or you take the entire class and have the whole bunch out in the hall for a longer period of time.  I'd love to see all classrooms have a bathroom off them...but I can't see that happening. 

 

I teach in a room that is right by a back door of the building, and it makes me nervous because it would only take someone shooting out that ONE lock to get down to us. We can get out fairly easily if needed...but it also means people could get in more easily, too, vs having to get through the open door by the office AND the usually locked security doors into my part of the building. 

 

I will also say that data in my room is really, really sparse. It's good for keeping kids off their phones...but not so good if we actually need to be able to call someone in an emergency. 

 

 

 

[Heartstrings]

A teachers perspective is going to be different than a parents.  While I can appreciate that a teacher is going to place the smooth functioning of a classroom pretty highly on her lists, safety and communication is going to trump that for me as a parent.  Managing cell phone use is really a classroom management issue.  The fact that some percentage of other kids need more parenting or whatever is not enough for me to give up the piece of mind that comes from my kid having his phone, especially after Uvalde.  I’ll deal with my kid if they abuse their phone, the rest is not my responsibility.   I know that makes me *the problem* for teachers, which is why my kids are home.  
Schools can’t have it both ways, enacting draconian policies on one hand in the name of safety but also restricting cell phones at the same time.  Either safety is the highest priority or it’s not.  Restricting cell phones make it all look a whole lot more like the highest priority is control.  

[Grace Hopper]

This thread makes me so sad. Sad for the kids, the parents, the teachers, everyone. @HomeAgain some of my best nostalgic memories are of school days with the ground floor classroom windows open, a regular occurrence. That we have to put students and professional educators in fortresses is…. well, it leaves me emotionally weary. 
 

My youngest had a day of school cancelled due to a credible threat, and was emotional support for a friend at a nearby school who was in lockdown in an active shooter situation. Another of mine was in lockdown with an active shooter on a college campus. I was so grateful that they all had communication tools available during those events, for themselves, for each other, and yes, for me as a worried parent. 
 

Wish there were a perfect answer. If they were forbidden a phone or smart watch I’d probably have my kids (depending on age) wearing air tags on their person. I’ve been following the TN legislature session and TN Holler this week. Won’t comment too much lest I stray into politics, but just, wow. Phone policy problems are a symptom of a larger issue. 🤐

[Heartstrings]

3 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

That we have to put students and professional educators in fortresses is…. well, it leaves me emotionally weary. 

A local high school has had brick and wrought iron fencing put up over the summer.  When I first drove by I thought it was kind of fancy, and wondered why they’d spend so much.  On the drive back by it hit me, it’s for security. It’s to make it a harder target.  That realization broke my heart.  Another local school with les money looks like a prison.  
 

I can’t argue that it’s not necessary for safety, but I worry about the impact on these kids and on society when these kids are older.  What does society look like when it’s being ran by children who spent their entire childhood in essentially a prison? How will their parenting be different when they have kids?  

[Grace Hopper]

1 minute ago, Heartstrings said:

A local high school has had brick and wrought iron fencing put up over the summer.  When I first drove by I thought it was kind of fancy, and wondered why they’d spend so much.  On the drive back by it hit me, it’s for security. It’s to make it a harder target.  That realization broke my heart.  Another local school with les money looks like a prison.  
 

I can’t argue that it’s not necessary for safety, but I worry about the impact on these kids and on society when these kids are older.  What does society look like when it’s being ran by children who spent their entire childhood in essentially a prison? How will their parenting be different when they have kids?  

A result of the shooting at my kids’ friends’ school, the students organized and lobbied for the addition of metal detectors at entrances. 
 

I am proud of them for organizing but really, why should they have to do so? Breaks the heart.