RANT and JAWM how does anyone find a good hairdresser?!?

[MEmama]

I've been growing out my pixie, and finally got it to shoulder length. It's been over a year since I've had it cut so I find a photo of very similar hair just a bit differently styled and ask to have it trimmed like the photo. It's one length, with cute thick bangs. What do I walk out with? A freaking Jennifer Aniston circa 1990s, weird-ass layered mullet mashup. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

I was finally, finally happy-ish with my hair. It does not do well layered because it sticks out all over the place, and it had finally grown long enough to start behaving itself. I figured a simple trim would just clean it up. And after nearly a year of trying to "embrace the grey" and feeling miserable about it, I recently dyed it purple and felt much more like myself. Now its just hideous again and I'm just so, so sad. Plus I have to find someone who can try to fix it because I'll be damned if I have a freaking mullet (cute on some people, not on me) and I have no idea how to find someone decent who can fix it (no, I'm not going back to the person who did thought this was a good idea).

I know it's a stupid thing to cry about, but dammit I've had such a crappy year and just wanted my damn hair to look nice. Now I'm looking at another year of growing it out. 🤬😢
 

 

 

[Kassia]

That isn't something stupid to cry about.  I think we've all been there with bad haircuts and cried about them.  It's definitely upsetting.  I hope you can find someone to fix it so you don't hate it.

[Pawz4me]

I'm so sorry! I'd be hugely upset, too.

My long time hairdresser told me a few months ago that she's going to retire at the end of this year. And so I started letting my hair grow out. 'Cause I don't have the mental bandwidth to even think about finding someone new.

[Arcadia]

When I am willing to pay more, I go to those hairdressing schools because they usually have someone supervising the senior students. For a simple trim, barbers do a better job for me because they don’t bother to do anything fancy. They just get the job done as fast as they can so they can serve more customers. I usually cut my own hair because I don’t have the patience for how long it takes for a haircut.

[Hannah]

It really is horrid when the hairdresser doesn't listen and ruins your hair.

My girls and I have curly hair.  We got ours through recommendations on a curly girl facebook page, and drive an hour to go see her.  Are there any local groups you could ask for recommendations?   

Edited January 24, 2023 by Hannah

[stephanier.1765]

My guy just disappeared off the earth and, while I wasn't stuck with a bad hair cut, my gray was really beginning to show and I needed someone ASAP. It's hard to find someone new. I hate it! Recently I tagged along with my son's girlfriend to get her hair done and they had time so did mine, as well. Seriously best hair cut and color I've ever had. Seriously the most money I've ever paid for a haircut and color I've ever done. I was sick to my stomach over it. Still am. I really should have asked how much beforehand but because I wasn't expecting to get it cut I didn't think about it. So I feel your pain, except I don't have to wear mine on my head. I am so sorry that happened! I wish you luck in finding someone. Ask friends and family who they see and make sure you ask how much first. LOL

[Indigo Blue]

My solution….grow shoulder length to one length with bangs. Cut it myself. Put into ponytail most of the time. Haircuts have gotten so expensive. It saves so much money.  I’m so sorry. 

[Grace Hopper]

Of course you’re crying mad about it! I would be, too. 
 

It’s hard to find a reliable stylist. The good ones are really expensive and/or booked out for months. Anyone I’ve liked that wasn’t hard to get into ends up moving and I lose track of them. 
 

Lately I’ve gone the beauty school route and have not been above letting my daughters give me a cut with Brad Mondo videos. But since the start of the pandemic I’ve been wearing it all one length with no color in it, so it’s hard to mess up. I am longing for a full style makeover, but haven’t found anyone yet that I feel I can trust that to. 
 

MEmama, I am sorry for your bad experience. So have a good cry about it, then remember to take your vitamins to help your grow out go faster. 

[LuvToRead]

Trial and error unfortunately. I am somewhat in the same boat. I do look at Facebook pages to get a feel for what type of cuts they normally do.  Plus word of mouth can be helpful if you can find someone with your style and type of hair.  And it's more than just how they cut your hair, there is also personality to consider.  Don't get me wrong, I would never not go to someone because I don't like their personalty, but I do think that someone who gets on your nerves can make the overall experience unpleasant. Honestly, I like a quiet hair dresser who leaves me alone to read while my hair is processing. 

[MEmama]

Just now, Indigo Blue said:

My solution….grow shoulder length to one length with bangs. Cut it myself. Put into ponytail most of the time. Haircuts have gotten so expensive. It saves so much money.  I’m so sorry. 

That's what I was doing!

All I needed was a simple trim to clean up the edges, and to make the bangs thicker. Instead I got a crazy hackjob--I just can't imagine how she could screw up so badly. I had a picture! 

[LuvToRead]

I wanted to add it's not a stupid thing to be upset over!

[Pawz4me]

4 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

My solution….grow shoulder length to one length with bangs. Cut it myself. Put into ponytail most of the time. Haircuts have gotten so expensive. It saves so much money.  I’m so sorry. 

That's kind of what I'm aiming for, I think. I'm doing things the opposite of the way we're supposed to -- I had short hair most of my adult life and now that I'm approaching old lady status (when we're supposed to go shorter) I'm letting it grow. But I am so very tired of the time and money spent on haircuts every three weeks. If I have to find somebody else it's gonna be more like every three months for a quick trim of the ends, not every three weeks to maintain a short style.

[Murphy101]

Referrals and $$$

It sucks but I have found that $ really does buy better.

Curly hair here makes it even harder but yeah the pain is real for my straight-haired girls too.

My current hairdresser Is $70 for a wash and cut. And she styles it too but that’s my one huge complaint about her. It really annoys me that hairdressers always try to straighten curly hair instead of styling it naturally. So I go home and shower to see how my curly hair cut really came out.  

[MEmama]

I really thought this person was going to work out. She's around my age, which gave me confidence I'd get something trendy but age appropriate--not grandma-y yet also not like I'm trying to look 20. And when she said I gave her "Lisa Loeb vibes" I was feeling pretty good, lol. So it was a super shock that she thought the haircut she gave me was a good idea--did Lisa Loeb ever have a mullet?! Was it not a compliment after all? 

[Indigo Blue]

3 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

That's kind of what I'm aiming for, I think. I'm doing things the opposite of the way we're supposed to -- I had short hair most of my adult life and now that I'm approaching old lady status (when we're supposed to go shorter) I'm letting it grow. But I am so very tired of the time and money spent on haircuts every three weeks. If I have to find somebody else it's gonna be more like every three months for a quick trim of the ends, not every three weeks to maintain a short style.

I don’t think I ever want my hair to be short! 🙃

[Jenny in Florida]

For many years, I just kept my hair long and trimmed it myself. Eventually, when I went back to work and had the money to get myself an occasional treat, I started going to the local fancy Aveda salon (mostly because they use vegan products). I started by asking who on the staff was best with curly/greying hair and then kind of worked my way through a few of the stylists until I found one I really liked. I got some not-great haircuts and, once I started experimenting with fun colors, some lackluster color, too. But I did settle on someone and had regular appointments with her for a couple of years. Then she cut back on her hours in order to devote more time to her career in real estate. Although I wish her well, I was really upset to lose her. Then I moved a couple of towns over and didn't want to keep driving across town to pay very high prices for cuts I no longer loved.

I poked around online to find a stylist/studio that commits to vegan, cruelty-free products, then looked at reviews, then followed the studio on Instagram for a bit to see some of their work and get a sense of the places' vibe. Then I called and spoke to a human being and explained that I was looking for someone who is good with my hair type. 

I've now been going to that stylist for about a year and a half. It took me several trips to "train" her, to make sure she understands what I want, etc. It was a process, but it's worth it. (She's also a lot less expensive than the Aveda stylists are.) 

[Jenny in Florida]

3 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

And she styles it too but that’s my one huge complaint about her. It really annoys me that hairdressers always try to straighten curly hair instead of styling it naturally. So I go home and shower to see how my curly hair cut really came out.  

I finally have my current stylist convinced that I really, truly do not want her to dry or style my hair. I have the cut I have in large part because it works as wash and go for me, which is all the work and attention I am ever going to devote to my hair daily. So, if I can't walk out of the salon that way, the cut is wrong. 

My stylist no longer even asks if I want her to do anything. Just works a little styling gel through, scrunches and sends me on my way.

[MEmama]

1 minute ago, Murphy101 said:

Referrals and $$$

It sucks but I have found that $ really does buy better.

Curly hair here makes it even harder but yeah the pain is real for my straight-haired girls too.

My current hairdresser Is $70 for a wash and cut. And she styles it too but that’s my one huge complaint about her. It really annoys me that hairdressers always try to straighten curly hair instead of styling it naturally. So I go home and shower to see how my curly hair cut really came out.  

I like the salon I go to; it's pretty hip for here and definitely where I feel most comfortable. The haircut was the most I think I've ever paid (compared to what I've read from other posters over the years prices here are really cheap comparatively) which would be fine though, because I only get it cut once or maybe twice a year usually. I don't mind paying for good hair.

I *always* wash mine as soon as I get home too. I try to catch them before they start styling and putting stuff in it, but today there wasn't a chance. I swear she spent 40 minutes styling it, only for me to hop in the shower 10 minutes later, lol. I don't ever style my hair at home so when they fuss with it I don't know how it will actually behave. 

[Grace Hopper]

6 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

I don’t think I ever want my hair to be short! 🙃

I would loooove to wear my hair short! I’d love to go back to the pixie cut of my younger self! 
 

BUT

I no longer feel it’s a flattering style for me. And if I didn’t care about that, I still would be reluctant to trust someone for a great style. And then have to pay for frequent maintenance cuts. A longish Bob is way more economical for me. 

[Carol in Cal.]

Oh, that is so awful.  I would be really mad.

I haven’t had my hair cut in over 25 years.  I get it colored to try to look as close to natural as possible, and they style it that day, and that’s all.  It’s wavy, so it does best when I wash it, condition it, and then clip it back to dry naturally.  I have lots of clips and hair sticks and put it up or back pretty often, and it self limits its length at about halfway down my back so this works out fine.  

[itsheresomewhere]

I cut my own and have for years.  I don’t trust anyone with my hair especially since the first thing they say when they see my long thick hair “ let’s cut it off and give you an updated style”.  
 

I have been DS’s hair for years as the last bad hair cut just ruined him.  Now I am doing DH’s as he can’t find anyone to give a basic men’s haircut without botching it so bad ( why did his old barber have to retire!). The last one person who touched his hair not only had no clue what she was doing, I had to intervene it was so bad.  Told her stop and walk.  Came home and fixed it for him.  

[Grace Hopper]

4 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

Oh, that is so awful.  I would be really mad.

I haven’t had my hair cut in over 25 years.  I get it colored to try to look as close to natural as possible, and they style it that day, and that’s all.  It’s wavy, so it does best when I wash it, condition it, and then clip it back to dry naturally.  I have lots of clips and hair sticks and put it up or back pretty often, and it self limits its length at about halfway down my back so this works out fine.  

What do you mean by this? I mean, hair does not just stop growing (wouldn’t that be convenient, if it had an on/off switch!). Does it “limit” due to breakage, fallout, something else? This is really interesting to me. Mine (and none of my dds) has never stopped adding length even when to just above my hips. 
 

Also, I believe the pandemic took a toll on the number of experienced hair stylists around, I’m guessing many may have retired rather than struggle through restrictions in such close work. 
 

 

Edited January 24, 2023 by Grace Hopper

[Kassia]

21 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

What do you mean by this? I mean, hair does not just stop growing (wouldn’t that be convenient, if it had an on/off switch!). Does it “limit” due to breakage, fallout, something else? This is really interesting to me. Mine (and none of my dds) has never stopped adding length even when to just above my hips. 
]

 

 

I wonder about this too because my hair only grows to a certain length and then stops growing.  I went for years without a haircut and never added length.  I've had two - or maybe three - haircuts in the past 12 years.  

Dd started cutting my hair and she does a great job.  She watched some videos on youtube and we bought some stylist scissors on Amazon.  

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

28 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

What do you mean by this? I mean, hair does not just stop growing (wouldn’t that be convenient, if it had an on/off switch!). Does it “limit” due to breakage, fallout, something else? This is really interesting to me. Mine (and none of my dds) has never stopped adding length even when to just above my hips. 
 

Also, I believe the pandemic took a toll on the number of experienced hair stylists around, I’m guessing many may have retired rather than struggle through restrictions in such close work. 
 

 

My hair doesn’t grow beyond a certain length. I can go years without a haircut. I also don’t need to shave body hair. 

Edited January 24, 2023 by Jean in Newcastle
Autocorrect

[maize]

32 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

What do you mean by this? I mean, hair does not just stop growing (wouldn’t that be convenient, if it had an on/off switch!). Does it “limit” due to breakage, fallout, something else? This is really interesting to me. Mine (and none of my dds) has never stopped adding length even when to just above my hips. 
 

Also, I believe the pandemic took a toll on the number of experienced hair stylists around, I’m guessing many may have retired rather than struggle through restrictions in such close work. 
 

 

Each hair follicle only continues growing hair for a certain amount of time, then it takes a break and that hair falls out. Eventually the follicle will start producing a new strand. Everyone has a limit to how long their hair can grow depending on fast it grows and how long on average their follicles will grow a single strand of hair. People have different natural hair limits governed by genetics just like dogs do; that's why some dogs are short hair breeds and some are long hair breeds. Our human average is of course longer than the canine average, but even if we never cut our hair in our entire lives most of us could not grow it down to our ankles, and many of us can't even grow it to our waist. 

[Pawz4me]

18 minutes ago, maize said:

Each hair follicle only continues growing hair for a certain amount of time, then it takes a break and that hair falls out. Eventually the follicle will start producing a new strand. Everyone has a limit to how long their hair can grow depending on fast it grows and how long on average their follicles will grow a single strand of hair. People have different natural hair limits governed by genetics just like dogs do; that's why some dogs are short hair breeds and some are long hair breeds. Our human average is of course longer than the canine average, but even if we never cut our hair in our entire lives most of us could not grow it down to our ankles, and many of us can't even grow it to our waist. 

 

I'm not disputing that human hair has a natural limit. I don't disbelieve anyone who says theirs stops growing, and I've heard several people say that theirs does stop at a certain point. But my understanding about dogs is that technically short haired dogs have fur and longer haired dogs have hair (link goes to AKC site).

Quote

The difference lies in how the coat grows. Some coats are genetically programmed to grow to a predetermined length (or PDL). This means they will grow to a certain length, at which point they will stop. Other coats grow to an undetermined length (or UDL), meaning they will keep growing until they are cut or until they break. Dogs with fur have coats that grow to a predetermined length and then stop growing. Dogs with hair will have coats that grow for much longer—sometimes even for years.

 

[Arcadia]

3 hours ago, Grace Hopper said:

What do you mean by this? I mean, hair does not just stop growing (wouldn’t that be convenient, if it had an on/off switch!). 

My teen boys hair are like mine and do not grow longer than midway to their waists. DS18 wears his hair in a ponytail for classes while DS17 doesn’t tie up his hair. 

Edited January 25, 2023 by Arcadia
grammar mess up

[shawthorne44]

It depends on your scalp health.   If your scalp isn't healthy there will be a certain length where the hair is much more likely to fall out.  

[shawthorne44]

Not a stupid thing to cry about.  As a teen in the late-80's the hairdresser my mother kept taking me to kept cutting my hair into a helmet.   She mostly took care of old ladies.   I'd say I was trying to grow out my hair and she'd :"Ah Hum" me and then cut it in another helmet.   I really should forgive her for that.  
I've had some good stylists since then, and I was intensely loyal to them.  But when my last one moved away my hair was long enough for me to do it myself.  

[YaelAldrich]

If you want to come to Boston I would recommend the stylist my daughter uses. Not cheap, but really good at cuts and color and you get lovely treatment during the session. 

[Guest]

I was just telling the story at the dinner table of my worst ever haircut. Girl…I cried my eyes out! And any time I see pictures of me from that time I just loathe them. At our family beach house, one of my SIL’s made a collage of us all that year and every time I look at those pictures I just feel like 🤢It took me years to grow out all the layers and I also really dislike my hair in short layers. Barring medical necessity, I don’t intend to have my hair cut that short again until I am ridiculously old and there’s nothing left to do but get a Golden Girls cut. 
 

I am happy with my hairdresser now, but I’m not gonna lie, she is $$$. My son was just talking about how he doesn’t understand how this girl he works with can spend hundreds of dollars getting her hair done and I’m like 😗

[Clarita]

Trial and error. I also look at the real customer photos (Yelp not the stylist's personal pages). Make sure they have clientele that look like they have my hair type and I like the style they end up getting. Bonus points if the hairdresser herself looks like she has my type hair. 

The one I currently like is also $$$. She actually dries my hair to show me how it would look normally. Then she dolls it up so I can have dolled up hair for the evening after paying $$$.  

I have cried over an ugly haircut. My husband was disappointed too so he was pretty supportive during that outburst of unhappiness. 

[Grace Hopper]

4 hours ago, maize said:

Each hair follicle only continues growing hair for a certain amount of time, then it takes a break and that hair falls out. Eventually the follicle will start producing a new strand. Everyone has a limit to how long their hair can grow depending on fast it grows and how long on average their follicles will grow a single strand of hair. People have different natural hair limits governed by genetics just like dogs do; that's why some dogs are short hair breeds and some are long hair breeds. Our human average is of course longer than the canine average, but even if we never cut our hair in our entire lives most of us could not grow it down to our ankles, and many of us can't even grow it to our waist. 

 

That is fascinating! I guess I never really had cause to think about it. Makes total sense now that you’ve explained it, thanks!

[popmom]

4 hours ago, maize said:

Each hair follicle only continues growing hair for a certain amount of time, then it takes a break and that hair falls out. Eventually the follicle will start producing a new strand. Everyone has a limit to how long their hair can grow depending on fast it grows and how long on average their follicles will grow a single strand of hair. People have different natural hair limits governed by genetics just like dogs do; that's why some dogs are short hair breeds and some are long hair breeds. Our human average is of course longer than the canine average, but even if we never cut our hair in our entire lives most of us could not grow it down to our ankles, and many of us can't even grow it to our waist. 

 

Mine will not even grow to shoulder length. 😞 It's very fine and ash blonde. Not a good blonde, so I get it highlighted.

@MEmama if you decide you want some tips on finding someone better suited to your needs, I have learned a few things over the years that have helped me in this area. It's hard. A good haircut can make us feel like a million bucks, so of course a bad one is going to ruin us for awhile! You are not wrong to be upset.

[MEmama]

11 hours ago, YaelAldrich said:

If you want to come to Boston I would recommend the stylist my daughter uses. Not cheap, but really good at cuts and color and you get lovely treatment during the session. 

DH actually suggested I get it done in Boston or NYC--until I told him how much it would cost! Lol--he has no idea. 🤣

I'd pay anything to fix this mess. But if I get the longer mullet back cut to match the top bowl cut layer (making it basically a very short bob 😢), the right stylist could make it look okay but I wouldn't be able to pull it back and pretend this never happened. Then again, as is I can't wear it down so... 

I'm contemplating leaving a bad review. I've only done that once before--anyone can have a bad day or make a mistake and I'm not comfortable making public judgments in case it was a one-off, but this should never have happened. "I'm growing my hair out and would just like a trim to clean it up--and here's a picture of what I want" does not mean "please cut precious inches of growth off and hack weird layers into my hair". 

[MEmama]

8 hours ago, popmom said:

Mine will not even grow to shoulder length. 😞 It's very fine and ash blonde. Not a good blonde, so I get it highlighted.

@MEmama if you decide you want some tips on finding someone better suited to your needs, I have learned a few things over the years that have helped me in this area. It's hard. A good haircut can make us feel like a million bucks, so of course a bad one is going to ruin us for awhile! You are not wrong to be upset.

It feels like hairdressers are like unicorns. I had one here for years until he disappeared--idk if they understand how valuable they really are. 

[shawthorne44]

10 hours ago, Quill said:

...I am happy with my hairdresser now, but I’m not gonna lie, she is $$$. My son was just talking about how he doesn’t understand how this girl he works with can spend hundreds of dollars getting her hair done and I’m like 😗

I have long curly hair and I've been doing the Curly Girl thing for awhile.  BUT, I have split end problems and it is rare for me to have to cut my hair.  DD is 12 and I think I've cut my hair once in that time.  So, when I ran across some Katherine Sewing videos with her hair care routine, I thought I'd slowly try it.  I ordered some Jojoba Oil on Amazon and gulped when I saw that the $10 worth of oil was about the size of my thumb.  There was other stuff I bought too.  I started to worry about the cost of this stuff.   Then I remembered what I used to pay for a haircut and I thought, "Well, I guess I'd pay that money on stuff to get my hair very healthy"   
 

[shawthorne44]

41 minutes ago, MEmama said:

...

I'm contemplating leaving a bad review. I've only done that once before--anyone can have a bad day or make a mistake and I'm not comfortable making public judgments in case it was a one-off, but this should never have happened. "I'm growing my hair out and would just like a trim to clean it up--and here's a picture of what I want" does not mean "please cut precious inches of growth off and hack weird layers into my hair". 

I would do the review.   Include a photo of this is what I asked for, and this is what I got.  

[Kassia]

I agree about the review - just to inform others of your experience in case they are considering using this stylist.

[MEmama]

3 hours ago, shawthorne44 said:

I would do the review.   Include a photo of this is what I asked for, and this is what I got.  

 

2 hours ago, Kassia said:

I agree about the review - just to inform others of your experience in case they are considering using this stylist.

I wish I didn't feel so guilty, even though it might do someone else a favor.

[MEmama]

This is what I wanted. All it would have taken was to give me thicker bangs (which she did okay job of and I do like) and a *trim*. Instead imagine this with the top half as a bowl cut and the bottom half **4 inches** longer than the top layer. I'm waaaay too mortified to post a photo! 
 

Mods--the photo is from Pinterest via a hair product company. Please let me know if it's inappropriate and I'll remove it right away. 

[Carol in Cal.]

4 hours ago, MEmama said:

DH actually suggested I get it done in Boston or NYC--until I told him how much it would cost! Lol--he has no idea. 🤣

I'd pay anything to fix this mess. But if I get the longer mullet back cut to match the top bowl cut layer (making it basically a very short bob 😢), the right stylist could make it look okay but I wouldn't be able to pull it back and pretend this never happened. Then again, as is I can't wear it down so... 

I'm contemplating leaving a bad review. I've only done that once before--anyone can have a bad day or make a mistake and I'm not comfortable making public judgments in case it was a one-off, but this should never have happened. "I'm growing my hair out and would just like a trim to clean it up--and here's a picture of what I want" does not mean "please cut precious inches of growth off and hack weird layers into my hair". 

Can you use a pair of little clips to hold it back around your face?  Sometimes that helps with the uneven look.

I think I would do a bad review, but I would think about whether to talk to her myself first and just see what she says.  

[Carol in Cal.]

3 hours ago, shawthorne44 said:

I have long curly hair and I've been doing the Curly Girl thing for awhile.  BUT, I have split end problems and it is rare for me to have to cut my hair.  DD is 12 and I think I've cut my hair once in that time.  So, when I ran across some Katherine Sewing videos with her hair care routine, I thought I'd slowly try it.  I ordered some Jojoba Oil on Amazon and gulped when I saw that the $10 worth of oil was about the size of my thumb.  There was other stuff I bought too.  I started to worry about the cost of this stuff.   Then I remembered what I used to pay for a haircut and I thought, "Well, I guess I'd pay that money on stuff to get my hair very healthy"   
 

Can you please tell me more about this?  I’ve been using mild shampoo and conditioner regularly, with occasional forays into Philip B wildly expensive Rejuvenating Oil and a couple of their after sprays, but maybe there is a better way.

[Arcadia]

7 minutes ago, MEmama said:

This is what I wanted. All it would have taken was to give me thicker bangs (which she did okay job of and I do like) and a *trim*.

Is your hair wavy? Hairdressers who are used to cutting natural wavy/curly hair would be able to cut the hairstyle you posted, though hair spray/gel would likely be required to get that look. 
My hair and my boys hair are wavy curly so hairdressers that are used to cutting straight or permed hair ends up cutting our hair too short because our hair “shortens” when blow dry.

[Arcadia]

@Carol in Cal. check out the hair aisle at any asian Indian supermarkets. They cater for asian Indian’s long curly hair. Their olive oil for hair use do work. 

[MEmama]

16 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Is your hair wavy? Hairdressers who are used to cutting natural wavy/curly hair would be able to cut the hairstyle you posted, though hair spray/gel would likely be required to get that look. 
My hair and my boys hair are wavy curly so hairdressers that are used to cutting straight or permed hair ends up cutting our hair too short because our hair “shortens” when blow dry.

It's straight but disobedient when short but weirdly gets wavier when it's longer, especially if I don't touch my hair after I towel dry it. It's pretty straight if I comb it out. On a good day, it looked very similar to the style above, or would have with a good trim. 
 

eta: there's no wave left now, just misbehaving layers 😞 

Edited January 25, 2023 by MEmama

[Carol in Cal.]

5 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

@Carol in Cal. check out the hair aisle at any asian Indian supermarkets. They cater for asian Indian’s long curly hair. Their olive oil for hair use do work. 

I used to treat my hair with olive oil every once in a while in my twenties.  Maybe I should try that again.

I hate the smell of the penetrating oils in the Middle Eastern hair products.  Just cannot stand it.  Maybe I should look at the Indian ones though.  Or, I could just use the Philip B one more often.  I only do that about 2-3 times per year.

[Carol in Cal.]

13 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Is your hair wavy? Hairdressers who are used to cutting natural wavy/curly hair would be able to cut the hairstyle you posted, though hair spray/gel would likely be required to get that look. 
My hair and my boys hair are wavy curly so hairdressers that are used to cutting straight or permed hair ends up cutting our hair too short because our hair “shortens” when blow dry.

That’s true.  I used to always say ‘Keep the length’ but end up with it shorter because of that curl take up.  

[Toocrazy!!]

I’m sorry! That is disappointing and I know how you feel! 
It’s embarrassing to say how far I travel to get my hair cut. And if you saw it you wouldn’t think it’s anything special. But I have thinning hair on my crown, grows far down my neck, heavy in the back, just enough wave to shrink up on me. She’s found the sweet spot style for me. I’ve found my unicorn and I’m sticking with her! 
We’ve grown it out some and found a style so I only get it cut 3-4 times a year. Now that I’m graying I’ve colored it myself in the middle a few times. I’m looking for a local colorist. But I’ll have to tell them- color- do not touch with scissors! 
It’s just one of those things worth spending the time and money on for me.  I hope you find a good fix. 
As for finding a new stylist- ask around I guess. See someone’s hair you like and see who they go to. 

[MEmama]

14 minutes ago, Toocrazy!! said:

I’m sorry! That is disappointing and I know how you feel! 
It’s embarrassing to say how far I travel to get my hair cut. And if you saw it you wouldn’t think it’s anything special. But I have thinning hair on my crown, grows far down my neck, heavy in the back, just enough wave to shrink up on me. She’s found the sweet spot style for me. I’ve found my unicorn and I’m sticking with her! 
We’ve grown it out some and found a style so I only get it cut 3-4 times a year. Now that I’m graying I’ve colored it myself in the middle a few times. I’m looking for a local colorist. But I’ll have to tell them- color- do not touch with scissors! 
It’s just one of those things worth spending the time and money on for me.  I hope you find a good fix. 
As for finding a new stylist- ask around I guess. See someone’s hair you like and see who they go to. 

Oh yes, definitely keep her! And send her a Valentine! Lol
 

If you don't like coloring your hair in between visits, have you tried Overtone? https://overtone.co/  It's a color depositing conditioner, not an actual dye so the color fades out gradually and doesn't damage hair at all. My hair is naturally dark brown but I stopped dying it last spring and was really depressed about the grey. Enter Overtone into my life--the espresso brown is a perfect match and covers nearly all the grey. Lately I'm having more fun with purple, but the brown is very natural. And the conditioner makes hair so soft and smells amazing. Just thought I'd throw it out there for anyone looking for a dye alternative or extension.