Senior community/kids situation (possible trigger!)

[Sherry in OH]

3 minutes ago, Valley Girl said:

It's such a sad situation all around.  It would be interesting to know how much actual face-to-face communication, if any, has gone on between the grandparents and the HOA board. Or has everybody just dug into their corners and made assumptions about what can or can't be done? It would also be interesting to know if there had been any other cases in the neighborhood where grandparents have had custody of grandkids. What was done then? I didn't realilze some communities allowed people over 18 to live there. I seem to recall hearing about someone I grew up with being in a community that required people to be 55+ (or married to someone 55+) to live there. From what I was told, she was relieved when she hit the age limit because, if I recall correctly, SHE would have been asked to move if widowed because she was younger than her husband. I'll have to look into that.

 

Some 55+ communities allow live-in caregivers. Caregivers may be younger than 55 years, but must be at least 18 years old.  Some communities permit younger adults with disabilities to live with senior parents.  A few allow them to buy/rent their own homes.  Usually 80% of the householders in the community must be age 55+.    

We don't have the whole story in this situation.   It is indicative of problems with our society - the stratification of neighborhoods into young and childless, family-oriented, and senior accommodations.  Also,  despite the growing number of people delaying parenthood and thus being older parents, grandparents raising children, and single parents, society assumes two healthy and youngish parents are the norm for childrearing.  Those whose families differ from the norm struggle with a system not prepared to accommodate their needs.

 

[vonfirmath]

9 hours ago, SKL said:

Somewhere it said the folks are in their 70s and it would be too hard to move.  I think people are underestimating the difficulty that a move would be in this case.  While people are focusing on other residents deserving the kid-free experience they bought into, at the same time, these 70+yo seniors invested in a home to meet their physical needs as long as they can live outside an institution.  Can they realistically find another home that will meet those needs within their housing budget?  Is it really worth it to force them into this over an almost-grown teen living in their home?

I do realize there could be much more to the story.

 

My parents are 75. They just moved South Carolina--Texas two years ago. My dad spent a year ahead of that working on their house (which was a major fixer upper).

[SKL]

3 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:

 

My parents are 75. They just moved South Carolina--Texas two years ago. My dad spent a year ahead of that working on their house (which was a major fixer upper).

Were they living in a retirement community for the 4 previous years?  There is a considerable range of fitness among people in their 70s.

Also, the financial loss caused by a premature move is substantial.

Edited January 17, 2020 by SKL

[gardenmom5]

1 hour ago, Seasider too said:

 

Same. That does change the narrative. But it might not change the grandparents’ financial situation. It just seems to prove that for whatever reason the HOA did not choose to make an exception that would apply through this young man’s completion of high school, which I personally find rather sad. 

the grandparents could have better spent the time finding agencies for support.  finding their options- I question whether they ever even looked at the feasibility of renting their home for four years, and moving somewhere and renting.  there are senior support agencies out there.  (not as well advertised as they should be.)

I know there's bad info out there.  Dh has a childhood friend who was given bad advice regarding his living situation when he retired.    Dh was able catch it before it was too late, and steer him in a better long-term financial direction. 

[Murphy101]

 

On 1/16/2020 at 12:32 AM, CuriousMomof3 said:

 

I don't think that's a simple truth.  In my area, senior communities often have subsidized and moderate income housing options available more readily than are found otherwise.  They also have supports that people may feel like they need, whether that's single floor living, or roll in showers, or an option to have your meals prepared. So, this may have been what they could afford, or what met their health needs. 

I have a great deal of sympathy for this family, but at the same time, i do think that these lines can become blurry pretty quickly, and there may be problems with enforcing a rule selectively. I'm not sure what the right answer is.  

 

But the reason they can get it simpler there is exactly because it is purposely designed with the goal of meeting the needs of a particular narrowly defined demographic.  Everything about that community, including its taxes and zoning are based on that very narrow definition specifically to help ONLY those types of people.  If that demographic expands, then it will become harder for people like this to find housing for their own needs.  Grandparents taking care of minor grandchildren is not at all uncommon, so I don't think an exception should be made unless they are open to just changing the rules in general.  Because they will absolutely have to face this issue repeatedly in the future.

I don't think we can have it both ways. If they are that limited in mobility and finance that they can't find other housing, then that does not change my mind at all that the minor should not live there.  Teens take just as much energy and funding as preschoolers in my opinion and I'd question the ability of these grandparents to meet his needs.  Add in severe emotional trauma for all parties and my concern doubles. The next four years are going to be terribly intense for that young man.  I hope there is someone's else in the family tree in a better possible to take him in.

I think possible character malignment of any of the parties involved doesn't change the facts pertinent to the problem, so I'm not even giving those consideration.

[Junie]

I'm wondering if these grandparents are his only living relatives?  Does he have other relatives who could take him in for a couple of years?

 

[EmseB]

1 hour ago, Seasider too said:

 

Same. That does change the narrative. But it might not change the grandparents’ financial situation. It just seems to prove that for whatever reason the HOA did not choose to make an exception that would apply through this young man’s completion of high school, which I personally find rather sad. 

I kind of wonder if they didn't tell anyone that he moved in when it happened. If he is 15 now, he could have been in middle school when his parents died. Gosh, there is no good time too lose both parents, but that seems a particularly difficult one.

[SKL]

This is a lot different from selling to people who have children living with them.  Allowing this boy to stay in a home that has been owned by his grandparents for years is not going to cause the rest of the multi-generational families to demand housing there.

[gardenmom5]

3 hours ago, SKL said:

This is a lot different from selling to people who have children living with them.  Allowing this boy to stay in a home that has been owned by his grandparents for years is not going to cause the rest of the multi-generational families to demand housing there.

excuse me - but we don't know how long the grandparents have lived there.

[SKL]

8 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

excuse me - but we don't know how long the grandparents have lived there.

Somewhere it said they bought the house 4 years ago.

[TechWife]

I'm sorry, it's a horrible situation. The grandparents need to move, though.  He lived there for a year before the HOA addressed it - likely the HOA board members were being compassionate during that time, and again when they gave them an additional year to move out. That is a lot of time in the world of real estate. If they were going to ask the HOA for an exemption, they should have done it right away. They could have also tried to re-negotiate any "buy in" fees they may have had at that same time if the HOA didn't grant them an exemption. The articles I have read have called this a "community" so I'm unclear as to whether or not it is a single family house, condo or townhouse that is actually owned by the grandparents or if it is an apartment that is owned by the community. If the home is owned by the grandparents, then they can possibly rent it out until he turns 19, then move back in.

Tragedy strikes someone constantly. But, because a tragedy has befallen you doesn't mean you get a long term or permanent exemption to the rules. A temporary reprieve can certainly be suitable for rules like this, but I don't see how anyone could say that a reprieve wasn't given with the timeline presented.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/16/us/orphan-teen-kicked-out-grandparents-hoa-trnd/index.html

[TechWife]

On 1/16/2020 at 12:52 AM, BakersDozen said:

This suggestion has been made repeatedly but a few are saying that this might set a precedent and where does it stop? 3-year old twins next month whose parents are gone? A 9-year old girl? Could allowing the young man to stay create huge ethical/legal issues in the future?

 

I think it most definitely could.

[City Mouse]

I’m not a big fan of HOAs, but I have lived where they are abundant.

what I remember is that the HOAs cannot choose to differentiate how the enforce their regulations. If they bend one rule for one resident, then they can face problems when a different resident takes them to court over a different issue. So basically, they have to be jerks to everyone.

A 6 month grace period actually seems generous to me. 

[Carrie12345]

On 1/16/2020 at 8:14 AM, Bambam said:

I see more and more of the folks here who end up with guardianship of their grandchildren and end up raising them. Not because both parents are dead - but because both parents will not/cannot raise their own children - sometimes parents give their kids to grandparents, sometimes state takes them away, etc. So, at least here, I see this being a regular thing. There are at least 3 families in our small congregation who are in this situation.  So, I don't think the situation of grandparents suddenly welcoming children into their household as being unusual. 

My mom wasn’t over 55 when I stayed with her (with my toddler) for just short of a year, but It was my only way out of a rotten relationship. I have a sister who stayed with our parents for a decade with her child, and now my other sister is there with her 2 small kids.  My SIL has almost always lived with relatives over 55 with her little kids.

It’s not the exact same thing, but I intend to make housing choices that are family-friendly for as long as my own abilities are family-friendly. If I become unable to deal with kids and move to a place that doesn’t allow kids, then I’m pretty sure I don’t want neighbors to be allowed to have kids.

It really does stink, considering how close to adulthood he is, but residents (all of them) made a clear choice from the get go.

[katilac]

I'm stuck on pondering how weird it would be to live your teen yours in a senior community. 

[Pen]

 

Quote

I don't think we can have it both ways. If they are that limited in mobility and finance that they can't find other housing, then that does not change my mind at all that the minor should not live there.  Teens take just as much energy and funding as preschoolers in my opinion and I'd question the ability of these grandparents to meet his needs.  Add in severe emotional trauma for all parties and my concern doubles. The next four years are going to be terribly intense for that young man.  I hope there is someone's else in the family tree in a better possible to take him in.

 

It doesn’t necessarily take either big physical energy nor big funding to parent a teen.  Preschoolers IME are far more likely to do things like take off running and need to be physically caught or to need to be picked up.  “Normal” teens, not so much.  A teen boy will certainly tend to eat more than a toddler and will probably need larger more expensive clothing.  But nothing indicates that the grandparents are unable to provide that. 

The teen seems to be doing well with the grandparents and emotional trauma would almost certainly be increased by another change of family and residence circumstances.  He has been quoted as saying his grandparents have been beneficial to him in recovery from the trauma of his parents’ deaths. 

The law seems to be that he could be allowed to stay.   (There was a CNN ?  story with a discussion about the Arizona law.) 

Also a story said the grandparents will sell and move elsewhere if necessary rather than have their grandson kicked out.  But they had bought their home with the intent of it being their “final” home.  

The houses, in ads for the community, appear to be faux craftsman style with no steps or stairs and suitable for “age in place” living.   They mostly have two bathrooms and at least two bedrooms, apparently.  Flat paths, wheel chair / walker friendly curbs, clubhouse, etc.    The housing sale cost looks to be around $300,000+ .    It is not clear if renting out a home there is allowed.  

My son’s biological father died over a year ago and I am still dealing with emotional and logistical difficulties from that on behalf of my son.  I expect if there were two parental deaths close in time with one a suicide, it would be even harder. 

[Pen]

Googled:

”The median price of homes currently listed in Prescott is $475,000 while the median price of homes that sold is $377,500. The median rent price in Prescott is $1,795, which is higher than the .”

@Murphy101     And others raising issues about grandparents and finances

[Pen]

9 minutes ago, kdsuomi said:

I lived with my grandparents (in a senior community) for my senior year of high school because I had no other options. My mother had abandoned me to move out of state with her boyfriend, and my dad was abusive. All I did outside the house was walk from the car to inside the house and was not at all loud. Yet, someone complained to the association. However, my grandpa wrote a letter that basically said I was staying until I graduated. 

Do I necessarily think that ignoring the rules is good? No. However, sometimes people have to realize that kids need somewhere to live. I had no other options, and my grandparents couldn't sell their house due to other reasons. I also think that age restricted communities shouldn't be allowed, but that's a different thread.

 

Im so very glad you had grandparents to help you!

i agree that it’s a different thread, but I think there’s a need for livable multi generation communities that include homes suitable for age in place, disabled access, and suited for the needs of people with chemical sensitivity— and I don’t know of any at all with all of that.   

[Arctic Bunny]

On 1/16/2020 at 5:19 PM, freesia said:

We live in a house provided my dh's job and we'd have to move if he died.  I would assume I'd have 6 months, but there's nothing written that says that. 

 

 

On 1/16/2020 at 5:03 PM, Pen said:

 

Your family owns a home that you can be required to move out of if your husband dies? 

 

Yeah, I wouldn’t have six months. I imagine at the end of the month, to be honest, or as soon as someone transferred into his position.

[freesia]

On 1/16/2020 at 6:41 PM, Pen said:

 

House is Owned by whom?  

I think part of issue is the different feeling involved regarding a situation that is understood to be temporary like a lease, or home owned by an employer versus one that was thought to be potentially permanent. Or permanent until time to need nursing home perhaps. 

Not just feelings, but logistics too can be more complicated if moving requires buying and selling.  And seniors on fixed incomes may not be able to manage a transitional rental at same time as paying on the owned home.  

Or other problems can happen. Like a friend of mine sold a home thinking to move temporarily to a rental while finding new home to buy— couldn’t find new one before funds from sold one had been spent on rental...

 

I did know one pastor who owned his family home that functioned as a parsonage immediately next door to his church, and where a complicated sale to new incoming pastor was arranged when he retired.   It took longer than 6 months iirc. 

The church owns it. 

[Pen]

On 1/16/2020 at 3:38 PM, gardenmom5 said:

there are areas where the 55+ communities cover the geographic area that is as big as some of the school districts around here - not the attendance area" for a high school - but the district. 

 

Wow!

 

[Pen]

17 minutes ago, freesia said:

The church owns it. 

 

So it would be hard—but probably not as hard as trying to put a home up for sale and time to get it sold along with finding a new one.

Also possibly there’s some pastoral death benefit or pension for widow and children that might help with costs for a rental. 

 

[annandatje]

On 1/15/2020 at 11:23 PM, BakersDozen said:

I'm curious to know what the Hive thinks of a situation that is being played out where I live. The basic facts (which could be a trigger for some due to how the kid lost his parents...I apologize!) are:

1. 15yob loses his mom to cancer and his dad to suicide last year within a 2-week time span.
2. Grandparents, who live in 55+ community, take grandson .
3. Grandparents have been given notice that grandson cannot stay with them per HOA/community rules.
4. HOA has given family until June (I believe) to sell/move. I believe grandson has been there since October/November? Possibly before that...

The community where I live is rather small and this situation is really causing a lot of drama and ugliness.

What would you think about the situation? Is the HOA to blame? Should the grandson be allowed to stay indefinitely if the residents vote on it? Should the grandparents have just moved instead of bringing this to the center of the community's attention? Should the grandparents demand their HOA money back? Or sue? Should the HOA be responsible for helping the family move? Should we do away with HOAs and segregated communities altogether? (These are not my own questions rather a few of the many ideas/opinions being thrown around.)


 

For purposes of my reply, I am assuming that lease or purchase contract stipulated it was a 55+ community, and grandparents agreed to those terms and conditions.

No, I do not blame the HOA.  In fact, giving them five or six months to work out a solution is pretty generous on HOA's part. 

No, the grandson should not be allowed to stay if residents vote.   If ALL residents agree to changing the terms and conditions permanently, that is a different matter.  If they agree to that, I would wonder why they sought out a senior community. 

Based upon information provided, the grandparents have no standing to sue HOA nor should they be due a refund of HOA fees. 

Should we prohibit HOAs and segregated communities?  Neither are my cup of tea.  I prefer diverse neighborhoods where people maintain their property to reasonable standards without oversight of HOAs.  However, I do believe that people who purchase homes in a seniors only community have reasonable expectation that all full time residents are indeed seniors.

[LucyStoner]

There’s a very practical consideration here.  If they could move easily, I think they probably would.  On that video, the grandmother doesn’t seem too enamored with her neighbors or bound on staying.  She seems frustrated and a bit anxious.  It’s quite possible that it’s not financially feasible for them to move.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the social security survivor benefits (if any) aren’t enough to cover moving elsewhere.  Since this is community that would allow a NINETEEN year old resident, I have a hard time feeling that sympathetic for the HOA.  Where I live, housing is expensive enough that this kind of thing could make a retired couple and their grandson flat out homeless.  Even if it won’t make them homeless, it sounds like there will be some financial repercussions of moving.  

Edited January 18, 2020 by LucyStoner

[Junie]

2 hours ago, kdsuomi said:

I lived with my grandparents (in a senior community) for my senior year of high school because I had no other options. My mother had abandoned me to move out of state with her boyfriend, and my dad was abusive. All I did outside the house was walk from the car to inside the house and was not at all loud. Yet, someone complained to the association. However, my grandpa wrote a letter that basically said I was staying until I graduated. 

Do I necessarily think that ignoring the rules is good? No. However, sometimes people have to realize that kids need somewhere to live. I had no other options, and my grandparents couldn't sell their house due to other reasons. I also think that age restricted communities shouldn't be allowed, but that's a different thread.

 

2 hours ago, Pen said:

 

Im so very glad you had grandparents to help you!

i agree that it’s a different thread, but I think there’s a need for livable multi generation communities that include homes suitable for age in place, disabled access, and suited for the needs of people with chemical sensitivity— and I don’t know of any at all with all of that.   

I think that there would be a huge benefit for people with disabilities to live in "senior housing" but because is not allowed because of age discrimination.  And, apparently there are some senior housing communities that allow younger people (such as the one being discussed here that allows 19-year-old) -- they should not be allowed to advertise as "senior housing" or 55+.

I think that 55+ housing is discriminatory and should be disallowed by law.  

[Murphy101]

I get that this is a financial hardship for the grandparents but this is the risk every grandparent takes when moving to such communities. There are a LOT of grandparents raising grandkids these days, so personally I wouldn’t ever move somewhere that I can’t open up to kids/grandkids unless I had no choice. And if I had no choice, chances are good I wouldn’t be able to take care of them anyways.  It’s easy to say these places should be illegal but these places fit a very niche needy group. Usually they are given tax and zoning breaks for their communities that allow them to be more affordable than other places.

I still say no to the kid living there. He has already been there nearly a year, so I think the HOA has already been very compassionate and it’s time for him to move, with or without the grandparents.  There situation is not that unusual so I don’t see any reason for pressuring the hoa to allow this kid this time over the many others likely to come up and likely have come up over the years. 

[Sneezyone]

3 hours ago, arctic_bunny said:

Yeah, I wouldn’t have six months. I imagine at the end of the month, to be honest, or as soon as someone transferred into his position.

That’s horrid. In the military we get a full year to leave base-affiliated housing after the death of the eligible member.

[gardenmom5]

 

3 hours ago, Junie said:

 

I think that there would be a huge benefit for people with disabilities to live in "senior housing" but because is not allowed because of age discrimination.  And, apparently there are some senior housing communities that allow younger people (such as the one being discussed here that allows 19-year-old) -- they should not be allowed to advertise as "senior housing" or 55+.

I think that 55+ housing is discriminatory and should be disallowed by law.  

a 19 year old still has to be living with a senior.   while it may be used to allow disabled adult children - it's more likely it was written in to allow live-in caregivers.

2 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

That’s horrid. In the military we get a full year to leave base-affiliated housing after the death of the eligible member.

his' parents died in fall of 2018 - the HOA sent the letter in June of 2019 asking them to be out by June of 2020.  iow: the HOA gave them a year AFTER he'd already been living there for six months.

[katilac]

5 hours ago, kdsuomi said:

I lived with my grandparents (in a senior community) for my senior year of high school because I had no other options. 

I'm glad it worked out in your case, but one year is a different story than three to four years. If they leave by the requested deadline, he'll still have been there six months or so longer than you were. If he stayed until 18, it would be close to a full four years. 

Like Murphy101, I think there are too many kids living with their grandparents to make exceptions all that practical. Especially four-year long exceptions. 

[EmseB]

4 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

That’s horrid. In the military we get a full year to leave base-affiliated housing after the death of the eligible member.

I must've read wrong, I could've sworn we only get 6 months, but it might depend on the base, or more probable, I scanned and misread.

[Sneezyone]

5 minutes ago, EmseB said:

I must've read wrong, I could've sworn we only get 6 months, but it might depend on the base, or more probable, I scanned and misread.

It’s a year. SOFAs may shorten that time frame.

[katilac]

40 minutes ago, kdsuomi said:

 

So, in the case of grandparents being literally the only option family wise and those grandparents not being able to move, should the child just be put into foster care? That's not a good situation for anyone.  

No, it's not good. It's tragic. 

It's a tragic situation, and unfortunately not a singular one. Therein is the problem, because, again, grandparents often are the only option. I scanned a few articles, and I saw one reference to the grandparents saying that moving would be hard. I don't deny that it would be, but I have seen no mention of monetary issues like some posters have suggested. Dragging out this fight also seems hard and stressful. 

 

[BakersDozen]

We also bought a home in Prescott 4 years ago. The price ranges were widely varied and there was still a great market for less expensive housing. I read that the grandmother stated that the Gardens was the only place they could afford but I would venture that was only for 55+ communities. So while her statement may be true it is, I feel, also misleading. Dump the HOA-fee community and there are oodles of other housing options here.

As for finding another place to move, we just helped my mom find a 3br/2ba home that is single-level, handicapped accessible, in Prescott proper, million dollar views...$300K (approximately 2.5 miles from The Gardens). We looked at 4 other properties that were all excellent for senior citizens, all in the same price range. No HOA telling who can/cannot live with you. So the options are there. Prescott is expensive, but it's not ridiculously so, and if one lives in Prescott proper then sells and moves "out" more it is very feasible to come out alright financially. Dump the HOA fees and one can definitely come out better!

This situation continues to hit home for me (and not just because I live in Prescott) but because my dh and I were ready to sell the home we just bought if it meant helping my mom. We still would. It would not be easy (time wise) but if it meant caring for her, we would move. We are also rule followers - we don't expect the rules to be for everyone but us. This is why we don't live in an HOA community...we'd be written up for sure! We like our kids' bikes being out on the front porch, we like to park our cars on the driveway, and we hang our laundry outside on the line.  I think if we lived in an HOA where the rule was that senior citizens were not allowed and my mom needed a place to live, we would move rather than fight the rules we signed up and paid for. That's easy for me to say, though, as I/we are not elderly and in the last home we hope to ever live in.

The whole thing still stinks. Having lived in this community for almost 20 years I could totally see lawsuits not just at The Gardens but with other 55+/HOA communities if the grandson is allowed to stay as more requests are made based on this one situation.





 

[beaners]

1 hour ago, BakersDozen said:

We also bought a home in Prescott 4 years ago. The price ranges were widely varied and there was still a great market for less expensive housing. I read that the grandmother stated that the Gardens was the only place they could afford but I would venture that was only for 55+ communities. So while her statement may be true it is, I feel, also misleading. Dump the HOA-fee community and there are oodles of other housing options here.

As for finding another place to move, we just helped my mom find a 3br/2ba home that is single-level, handicapped accessible, in Prescott proper, million dollar views...$300K (approximately 2.5 miles from The Gardens). We looked at 4 other properties that were all excellent for senior citizens, all in the same price range. No HOA telling who can/cannot live with you. So the options are there. Prescott is expensive, but it's not ridiculously so, and if one lives in Prescott proper then sells and moves "out" more it is very feasible to come out alright financially. Dump the HOA fees and one can definitely come out better!

This situation continues to hit home for me (and not just because I live in Prescott) but because my dh and I were ready to sell the home we just bought if it meant helping my mom. We still would. It would not be easy (time wise) but if it meant caring for her, we would move. We are also rule followers - we don't expect the rules to be for everyone but us. This is why we don't live in an HOA community...we'd be written up for sure! We like our kids' bikes being out on the front porch, we like to park our cars on the driveway, and we hang our laundry outside on the line.  I think if we lived in an HOA where the rule was that senior citizens were not allowed and my mom needed a place to live, we would move rather than fight the rules we signed up and paid for. That's easy for me to say, though, as I/we are not elderly and in the last home we hope to ever live in.

The whole thing still stinks. Having lived in this community for almost 20 years I could totally see lawsuits not just at The Gardens but with other 55+/HOA communities if the grandson is allowed to stay as more requests are made based on this one situation.





 

 

$300K is very expensive for many parts of the country. Extremely expensive for some. 6 times what we bought our 3500 sqft fixer upper house for.

[BakersDozen]

Quote

$300K is very expensive for many parts of the country. Extremely expensive for some. 6 times what we bought our 3500 sqft fixer upper house for.

I am well aware of that. I offered my post as a reference - to provide more information specific to this area even to within a few miles of where the grandparents live. My point is that there are other homes and other communities the grandparents could have and still can move to. So the grandmother saying that The Gardens was "all they could afford" is misleading, imo. The grandparents did not move to Prescott from a lower cost of living location just to raise their grandson. They could afford The Gardens and the HOA fees that come with it...finding another place to live should not be impossible given the prices and availability of homes here.

It's been very interesting actually living where something is taking place, hearing the other side, etc.

[katilac]

8 hours ago, beaners said:

 

$300K is very expensive for many parts of the country. Extremely expensive for some. 6 times what we bought our 3500 sqft fixer upper house for.

But not expensive for their part of the country, including specifically their neighborhood. They live in a gated luxury community. It's a terrible situation, but I don't see anything to indicate that these are senior citizens scraping to get by.  

[Pen]

 

On 1/18/2020 at 9:54 PM, BakersDozen said:

That's easy for me to say, though, as I/we are not elderly and in the last home we hope to ever live in.

 

It’s easy to not have a sense of what can become much more difficult with age, disability, limited years to earn money...

 

[Pen]

On 1/18/2020 at 11:26 PM, beaners said:

 

$300K is very expensive for many parts of the country. Extremely expensive for some. 6 times what we bought our 3500 sqft fixer upper house for.

 

Where?!?!  $50K for a huge house?!?! I’m totally amazed! 

What would a smaller non fixer upper be?  

[linders]

On 1/18/2020 at 12:14 PM, katilac said:

I'm stuck on pondering how weird it would be to live your teen yours in a senior community. 

 

Not weird. We happen to live in a small, aging neighborhood - not designed such, but people bought years ago and their kids are grown and gone. For the first 7 years we lived here, there was only one kid besides my own out of the 21 houses. My DSs friends lived elsewhere, found through scouts, sports, school. The biggest "issue" was that our nearest neighbors have early bedtimes and don't appreciate 4th of July fireworks after dark. In the past 3 years, a couple of residents have passed on and the homes have been bought by very young families - think babies and toddlers. Still no peers for my kiddos.

P.S. The lack of competition has been a boon to DS16's pet sitting business:)

[beaners]

4 hours ago, Pen said:

 

Where?!?!  $50K for a huge house?!?! I’m totally amazed! 

What would a smaller non fixer upper be?  

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/612-11th-St-SW-Birmingham-AL-35211/992505_zpid/

Just the first I pulled off a search. If you want a 3 bedroom house in a good district you will pay $200K or more. We are zoned within the city district and our home was priced according to that and the fact that there was no running water plus major repairs needed.

On 1/19/2020 at 2:16 AM, BakersDozen said:

I am well aware of that. I offered my post as a reference - to provide more information specific to this area even to within a few miles of where the grandparents live. My point is that there are other homes and other communities the grandparents could have and still can move to. So the grandmother saying that The Gardens was "all they could afford" is misleading, imo. The grandparents did not move to Prescott from a lower cost of living location just to raise their grandson. They could afford The Gardens and the HOA fees that come with it...finding another place to live should not be impossible given the prices and availability of homes here.

It's been very interesting actually living where something is taking place, hearing the other side, etc.

 

I'm looking at it as a large amount of money, so there are different obstacles that might be in place. I can think of tons of reasons why an "inexpensive" $300K house might not be possible now even though they bought in an expensive area.

Maybe when they moved in they had more income and it would be hard to get a new mortgage now. Maybe their income was from investments that tanked and are only recovering now. Maybe they withdrew all their home equity to help pay for treatment for their daughter's cancer. Medical care like that is very expensive. I know a lot of people who sacrificed their credit score for family members in these scenarios.

It sounds like the norm for the area, but that doesn't change the fact that it is a large sum of money.

[SKL]

Maybe they have a reverse mortgage or something ... who knows ... in any case, they are probably going to take a hit financially even if they find another acceptable home to move to.

I seriously doubt that the HOA can't legally make this exception without destroying what the other residents bought into.

But there is usually more to the story, and here, maybe those grandparents burned bridges in the past, or the kid is actually obnoxious but nobody wants to say so publicly.