Vent thread--Things that bug you but you can't change

[Chris in VA]

So my mom and dad posted a picture of them standing by my brother's grave, with his in-ground, flat "headstone." I had forgotten that the writing on the marker contains a grammatical error, and it bugs the crap out of me.  My grammar isn't perfect, but you would think the person coming up with the engraved sentence would know better, or at least that the engraver would.  (FWIW, it is "hearty" laugh, not "hardy" laugh. 😑) But I can't say anything, so I am venting my irritation here. 

Share yours here, and spare someone's feelings IRL. 

[Arctic Bunny]

Ouch!

[moonflower]

My middle kids are in a "giving concerts" phase.  They have not yet reached "competent at their instruments" phase.  In one way it is charming and I love that they do it together and etc., but also I am anxiously awaiting (in several years' time) "competent at their instruments" phase to catch up with "giving concerts" phase.  

[Chris in VA]

Just now, moonflower said:

My middle kids are in a "giving concerts" phase.  They have not yet reached "competent at their instruments" phase.  In one way it is charming and I love that they do it together and etc., but also I am anxiously awaiting (in several years' time) "competent at their instruments" phase to catch up with "giving concerts" phase.  

hahahaha Oh so "been there!" Dd is a music ed major, and she has to learn many of the instruments in orch and band, so they learn two instruments every 8 weeks or so, enough to get a basic understanding, tune correctly, and even teach a beginner. The funny part is that they give a concert at the end of each learning chunk. So you have all these music majors playing instruments they are beginners on...it's kinda hilarious, but they do surprisingly well!

[Chris in VA]

1 hour ago, parent said:

Since his laugh is mentioned in memoriam, it safe to assume that your brother was a jovial type with a good sense of humor?  I guess, i would try to think of my brother heartily laughing at this error... maybe it's his last joke for you?  I don't know if that view could help.

 Not sure he would even recognize it, but no, he would probably share my annoyance. But maybe not.😊

[SKL]

My kid's best friend's mom.  She is also co-coach for cheerleading and a school board member.  She is so rude.  Last Saturday she literally yelled and screamed at all the cheerleaders telling them they need to smile more!  Then she made them all do 15 slow male push-ups.  That ought to put smiles on their faces!  (Several were in tears.)  What next?!  This is graduation year so I hope my kid can just deal until it is over. 

(This mom also refuses to let her kid do anything out of school with my kid, and rather than just say "no thanks," she refuses to answer my texts / voice mails until I nag multiple times.  Or she will say "maybe" and then finally "no."  (After the ticket is purchased.)  Also she does not speak to lowlives like me at sports events etc.  But this last Saturday took the cake!  Her poor daughter!)

[SKL]

Also my sister asking for money.  I love her, I want the best for her, but sheesh.

[Home'scool]

Ok, I'm going to put this out there and then duck, cuz I know it will shock some people.  You know what really really really bugs me? COFFEE!! Now, I don't like the taste of coffee and am a tea drinker, but that is not the extent of it. (BTW, I take my tea black. I love it with some lemon but would never just expect that to always be available.)

A typical conversation with a coffee drinker at my house goes like this:

"Would you like some coffee?" (because it has to be offered - even if no one in my house drinks it .... it HAS to be there for people)

"What time is it" (because now the drinker has to decide between caffeinated and decaffeinated)

"It's 3:00 pm"

"Ok, I'll take caffeinated please"

"Milk, cream, or half and half?"

"Oh, cream please"

"Sugar? Sweet-n-low?"

And on and on it goes........

All that work for one freakin' drink! And if you have multiple people over, some want milk and sugar, some want cream and Sweet-n-Low, some want decaf only, some want iced. 

This SNL take on coffee captures some of my frustration ..... a typical New England morning at Dunkin Donuts

My mother used to yell at me because I didn't always have all the ingredients needed when she came over. She always would say "You love ginger ale, so I make sure I have ginger ale for you, you should have coffee for me!" But, ginger ale is a drink in a glass. That's it. No multiple additives that make the 100's of combinations!!

And then there are the people who HAVE TO have their coffee first thing in the morning. If you live with them or are on vacation with them a large chunk of the morning revolves around getting coffee, making sure it's hot (or iced or blended), making sure they have all the ingredients they need because nothing else can happen until they have their coffee. And there is also the "I only like coffee from ABC place, but Susie only likes it from XYZ" so we have to make multiple stops. 

If I am the one doing the driving and have to order for people at the drive-thru, it's all "A hot carmel mocha coffeeata with two creams and extra sugar, a double iced mocha with milk and extra extra sugar, and a cafe mocha with steamed milk" -- I feel like I have to learn a whole new language AND take a course on memorization because the orders are so convoluted!

When I am driving to work I pass a bunch of coffee shops like Dunkin Donuts, and half the time the traffic is backed up into the street because the drive through line is so long, or there are so many people trying to pull back out while slurping their coffee that is too hot so they aren't paying attention. People literally cannot function or think or even muster up the will to live until they have their coffee. It Makes. Me. Crazy. My family bought me a t-shirt that says "F*ckin Go Nuts" in the same logo style as Dunkin Donuts"

(Are you getting how much I hate coffee? Haha)

 

 

[SKL]

58 minutes ago, Home'scool said:

Ok, I'm going to put this out there and then duck, cuz I know it will shock some people.  You know what really really really bugs me? COFFEE!! Now, I don't like the taste of coffee and am a tea drinker, but that is not the extent of it. (BTW, I take my tea black. I love it with some lemon but would never just expect that to always be available.)

A typical conversation with a coffee drinker at my house goes like this:

"Would you like some coffee?" (because it has to be offered - even if no one in my house drinks it .... it HAS to be there for people)

"What time is it" (because now the drinker has to decide between caffeinated and decaffeinated)

"It's 3:00 pm"

"Ok, I'll take caffeinated please"

"Milk, cream, or half and half?"

"Oh, cream please"

"Sugar? Sweet-n-low?"

And on and on it goes........

All that work for one freakin' drink! And if you have multiple people over, some want milk and sugar, some want cream and Sweet-n-Low, some want decaf only, some want iced.

LOL!  I'm a constant coffee drinker and I don't keep all that stuff!  If people don't like my instant coffee, we have teas, hot chocolate, 1% milk, and tap water.  😛

[RootAnn]

That one of my super sweet & highly motivated kids is an anxious ball of goo when faced with many things she would like to do & is completely capable of doing. I hate that I can't fix her anxiety. (This is not a request to tell me how to get her into counseling. This is a vent that she faces this, and I can't "fix" it. Like, your kid is sick & you can give medicine but you can't take all the pain away.)

[TheReader]

Never-ending, poorly-managed highway construction near me/on my main route to/from anywhere & everywhere. 

It was supposed to take "two years" (which have come and gone). It was supposed to be "done by June" which has come and gone. It was supposed to be "done by November" which has come and gone. 

Parts that are "done" are worse (or certainly no better) than what was there before. Awkward, weird exits are still awkward and weird(er) than before. 

Stuff that was "done" is now being torn up and redone "better", leaving in the interim a much bigger mess. 

The parts that *are* better are only mildly better enough to compensate for the ridiculous headache of all the rest that is still so ridiculously not done. 

[TheReader]

27 minutes ago, RootAnn said:

That one of my super sweet & highly motivated kids is an anxious ball of goo when faced with many things she would like to do & is completely capable of doing. I hate that I can't fix her anxiety. (This is not a request to tell me how to get her into counseling. This is a vent that she faces this, and I can't "fix" it. Like, your kid is sick & you can give medicine but you can't take all the pain away.)

Oh, gosh; yes, this too. ((((Hugs)))) It is so freaking hard. 

[Laura Corin]

That my mother has never seen a half-full glass.  We are apparently in that handbasket on the way to hell, and there's nothing good to say about anything.

[alisoncooks]

3 hours ago, Home'scool said:

...And then there are the people who HAVE TO have their coffee first thing in the morning. If you live with them or are on vacation with them a large chunk of the morning revolves around getting coffee, making sure it's hot (or iced or blended), making sure they have all the ingredients they need because nothing else can happen until they have their coffee. And there is also the "I only like coffee from ABC place, but Susie only likes it from XYZ" so we have to make multiple stops. 

If I am the one doing the driving and have to order for people at the drive-thru, it's all "A hot carmel mocha coffeeata with two creams and extra sugar, a double iced mocha with milk and extra extra sugar, and a cafe mocha with steamed milk" -- I feel like I have to learn a whole new language AND take a course on memorization because the orders are so convoluted.

Goodness. I'm a coffee drinker but those sound like High Maintenance Coffee Drinkers, lol. Also, I would never expect someone to have coffee on hand just to suit me. Yikes. 

[Harriet Vane]

1 hour ago, Laura Corin said:

That my mother has never seen a half-full glass.  We are apparently in that handbasket on the way to hell, and there's nothing good to say about anything.

Hugs for you.

[PeachyDoodle]

My parents' church, which I grew up in but left long ago due to its issues, is rapidly becoming a cult and everybody seems to be just peachy with it. Except for a few folks, like my mom. She is so angry and my dad is in a position to do something but refuses. And it sucks.

Plus she is dealing with a new and potentially troubling medical diagnosis and just doesn't need this right now.

Edited January 14, 2020 by PeachyDoodle

[sangtarah]

2 hours ago, RootAnn said:

That one of my super sweet & highly motivated kids is an anxious ball of goo when faced with many things she would like to do & is completely capable of doing. I hate that I can't fix her anxiety. (This is not a request to tell me how to get her into counseling. This is a vent that she faces this, and I can't "fix" it. Like, your kid is sick & you can give medicine but you can't take all the pain away.)

Yep, anxiety sucks. My dd10 has been a mess lately bc of this, and I just. want. to. fix. it! 

[moonflower]

2 hours ago, TheReader said:

Never-ending, poorly-managed highway construction near me/on my main route to/from anywhere & everywhere. 

It was supposed to take "two years" (which have come and gone). It was supposed to be "done by June" which has come and gone. It was supposed to be "done by November" which has come and gone. 

Parts that are "done" are worse (or certainly no better) than what was there before. Awkward, weird exits are still awkward and weird(er) than before. 

Stuff that was "done" is now being torn up and redone "better", leaving in the interim a much bigger mess. 

The parts that *are* better are only mildly better enough to compensate for the ridiculous headache of all the rest that is still so ridiculously not done. 

 and you're paying a zillion dollars for it! That is what irritates me the most about what feels like unnecessary road work (some is great, some feels like a project someone at city hall dreamed up for the financial benefit of someone they know)

[medawyn]

That the wallpaper recently installed in my boys' room is upside down.  The installation was okay'd by DH and the 6yo, so they clearly think it's fine, but I want to stand on my head every time I'm in there.  

[barnwife]

40 minutes ago, medawyn said:

That the wallpaper recently installed in my boys' room is upside down.  The installation was okay'd by DH and the 6yo, so they clearly think it's fine, but I want to stand on my head every time I'm in there.  

Okay, now I need to know it's pattern. But I have a feeling this would drive me batty too.

[Terabith]

A friend of mine, who was an English major and is a major grammar nazi, got a tattoo of an excerpt from a Yeats poem on his back.  The tattoo artist misspelled "yield."  

[Terabith]

3 hours ago, TheReader said:

Never-ending, poorly-managed highway construction near me/on my main route to/from anywhere & everywhere. 

It was supposed to take "two years" (which have come and gone). It was supposed to be "done by June" which has come and gone. It was supposed to be "done by November" which has come and gone. 

Parts that are "done" are worse (or certainly no better) than what was there before. Awkward, weird exits are still awkward and weird(er) than before. 

Stuff that was "done" is now being torn up and redone "better", leaving in the interim a much bigger mess. 

The parts that *are* better are only mildly better enough to compensate for the ridiculous headache of all the rest that is still so ridiculously not done. 

YES!  When we lived in San Antonio, I-35, I-10, 1604, and 410 were constantly under construction.  I came to believe that they would run out of money, abandon a project, and then get a different grant and start a different project.  It was nuts!

[medawyn]

13 minutes ago, barnwife said:

Okay, now I need to know it's pattern. But I have a feeling this would drive me batty too.

It is abstract clouds with this wispy thing sticking out the... well, it should be bottom, but now all the wisps are blowing up!

Fortunately for me, I have a bunch of airplane prints that will shortly be hung on the wall, so hopefully that will obscure it a bit.

[fairfarmhand]

Taxes.

And the fact that of the 6 people who have lived in my home, 4 of whom I raised, only 1 other person besides me actually is able to "see" clutter. Everyone else considers it a permanent part of the decor. I'm not talking about mess, like dirty socks and what not. I'm talking about the stack of papers on my buffet. The random screwdriver left on the end table. That kind of thing.

[TheReader]

3 hours ago, moonflower said:

 and you're paying a zillion dollars for it! That is what irritates me the most about what feels like unnecessary road work (some is great, some feels like a project someone at city hall dreamed up for the financial benefit of someone they know)

Goodness, yes. It's so awful. 

In theory, it will be good when it's done; it *has* alleviated traffic congestion, in the parts that are done-ish (they did widen the highway). But I don't even want to know the cost of the delays and all....

2 hours ago, Terabith said:

YES!  When we lived in San Antonio, I-35, I-10, 1604, and 410 were constantly under construction.  I came to believe that they would run out of money, abandon a project, and then get a different grant and start a different project.  It was nuts!

It definitely feels like it sometimes! Technically this one is all one project, but they don't work on it in a linear fashion, so we're driving on this highway in all various stages or levels of completeness, with even the "done"  part still having a median sectioned off and full of weeds, debris, etc.  It looks awful, and I very literally believe the visual grossness of it (clutter? debris? brokennness?) adds to the stress of driving for me; there's basically a 10 mile stretch or so that just LOOKS broken (even though parts of it are technically "done"); I really think it affects my mindset when I drive on it. 

[catz]

5 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

Goodness. I'm a coffee drinker but those sound like High Maintenance Coffee Drinkers, lol. Also, I would never expect someone to have coffee on hand just to suit me. Yikes. 

No joke.  When people come here, I have half caff, 2% milk, and sugar.  Take it or leave it!

[Terabith]

2 minutes ago, StellaM said:

 

Oh that is terrible.

Are they going to have it lasered off ?

I don't think I could sleep if I knew I had a spelling error tattooed to my back!

No.  He's decided to take it as a sign of the imperfection of life or something like that.  Far cheaper.  

[Terabith]

1 minute ago, StellaM said:

 

Oh gosh, i don't think I could do that!

Fair play to him

How did they spell it ?  Did they just reverse the i and e ?

Yes.  Just the reversal.  

[moonflower]

5 minutes ago, Terabith said:

No.  He's decided to take it as a sign of the imperfection of life or something like that.  Far cheaper.  

 

He can think of it like the Amish quilts, where they deliberately leave a small imperfection so they're not guilty of trying to approach the perfection of God (or something like that, I just read this on a sewing blog somewhere so it could be completely made u)

[Garga]

A few weeks ago, all of a sudden when I’m here on the Hive in the middle of a thread, but have to step away, my ipad will refresh the page so that it takes me to the bottom of the page. 

Add to that: When the hive moved to this new format, the numbering of each post went away, so every single time I’m trying to read a big thread but have to step away, it refreshes and dumps me to the bottom of the page, so I have to scroll up, up, up, trying to find where I left off. 

Also, every now and then, when I try to post (like just now), my keyboard (I have a keyboard for the ipad), will type suuuuuppppppeeeeerrrrr slowly, so I have to type the message somewhere else, then cut and paste it here, and then it won’t let me change the font to something reasonable.

This is driving me slowly insane.  Please forgive the wonky fonts.  ;/

[Terabith]

4 minutes ago, Garga said:

A few weeks ago, all of a sudden when I’m here on the Hive in the middle of a thread, but have to step away, my ipad will refresh the page so that it takes me to the bottom of the page. 

Add to that: When the hive moved to this new format, the numbering of each post went away, so every single time I’m trying to read a big thread but have to step away, it refreshes and dumps me to the bottom of the page, so I have to scroll up, up, up, trying to find where I left off. 

Also, every now and then, when I try to post (like just now), my keyboard (I have a keyboard for the ipad), will type suuuuuppppppeeeeerrrrr slowly, so I have to type the message somewhere else, then cut and paste it here, and then it won’t let me change the font to something reasonable.

This is driving me slowly insane.  Please forgive the wonky fonts.  ;/

Oh my goodness!  I don't have the numbering of posts anymore either!  I thought I was the only one!

[Arctic Bunny]

5 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

Taxes.

And the fact that of the 6 people who have lived in my home, 4 of whom I raised, only 1 other person besides me actually is able to "see" clutter. Everyone else considers it a permanent part of the decor. I'm not talking about mess, like dirty socks and what not. I'm talking about the stack of papers on my buffet. The random screwdriver left on the end table. That kind of thing.

I’m sorry that I may be that person to my husband. I try, I really do. Not saying you do this, speaking only of my DH who complains about me leaving things around, but his cooler has been a permanent fixture at the end of my kitchen island since Remembrance Day weekend. 

[Shoeless]

6 hours ago, Terabith said:

YES!  When we lived in San Antonio, I-35, I-10, 1604, and 410 were constantly under construction.  I came to believe that they would run out of money, abandon a project, and then get a different grant and start a different project.  It was nuts!

It's still a mess. The mess just seems to get redistributed to different sections of highway. 

[Terabith]

1 minute ago, MissLemon said:

It's still a mess. The mess just seems to get redistributed to different sections of highway. 

See, I knew it!  Nothing has changed!  We moved there 18 years ago!!!  What the heck road construction lasts a freaking generation?

[Shoeless]

3 minutes ago, Terabith said:

See, I knew it!  Nothing has changed!  We moved there 18 years ago!!!  What the heck road construction lasts a freaking generation?

We've been here 6 years, and I can't really tell if any of the projects are finished. Sections look different from time to time, and then some of the construction ugliness spreads to different parts. It's like a rash that isn't healing. 

[SKL]

Oh yeah, and the driver who hates my kids but I need her to drive them around.

Also our maids who we are employing more out of kindness than anything else at this point.  The woman is a mess and she has shown up completely drunk and incompetent.  Plus she has no sense even when she's sober.  I literally have to hide stuff so she won't re-home it in some completely illogical place and I have to go play hide-and-go-seek every time they come.  She does not listen to directions.  She breaks stuff, mixes dirty and clean clothes / dishes, and once she flooded my bathroom and destroyed half of the stuff under my sink.  Honestly it gives me anxiety to know she's coming in the next 24 hours.

[TravelingChris]

4 hours ago, Terabith said:

See, I knew it!  Nothing has changed!  We moved there 18 years ago!!!  What the heck road construction lasts a freaking generation?

How about Chicago?  we left there In 1986 and when we were back about five years ago, the same construction still going on.

[saw]

Petty vent I know, but with other much much bigger bad stuff going on that I can't vent about, I'm going to say how irritating some of the kids in DS's Scout Troop are, and he has to work directly with two of the most annoying! He's SPL and his ASPL is a nightmare -- whiny, sucks up to the adults, tries to boss DS and acts generally like DS is his to order around. I monitor DS's WhatsApp and emails (he's only 13) and have had to step in a couple of times behind the scenes to help DS shut down this kid's rudeness. And it's the beginning of the term. Plus DS has been told to work with a very young junior ASM who is even worse. Spent a few days on a hike with this boy in October and he was, literally (and I mean literally), ordering much older and much more senior adults to stay hydrated (Mrs X, have you drunk water on this rest stop? You need to drink water now) and how to hike (Mr Y, you need to put away your camera or it will bump the side of that descent/Mrs Z, hand down your walking poles to me now). Trying to ignore it but it's soooo annoying. And of course the parents think their kids can do no wrong and are part of the problem. Argh.

[SKL]

Now I think I will go off on some clients.  They are understaffed / disorganized when it comes to the line of business I consult on, so I end up doing a ton of hand-holding.  With all the turn-over over the years - like literally multiple times each year I have to train a new person because the previous person was suddenly terminated or quit with no notice to me - then the new person wants to blame me for everything that isn't perfect.  Ma'am, I've been trying to get this stuff straightened out for years, but I need you guys' cooperation!  And also, it is not and never has been my fault if you guys dropped the ball and I never found out until now!  Furthermore I am helping you do xyz as a favor to save you money, and you are hardly paying me anything for all the work I do for you.  I deserve a freaking medal and instead I am getting nastygrams from the latest new recruit.  Ugh!!