Janeway Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 I am sounding so sexist in this post. I realize I would not likely worry if my 4 yr old were a girl. But here is what I got him. He likes to play with his sister. And we went to the American Girl Doll store last spring or summer and he seemed to like the boy doll. When the dolls went on sale, I bought him a boy doll ($70) and with a coupon, I bought him a car from Target ($50). I also bought him some Mad Matter and an RC car, but the car is going back to the store. My husband does not like it, says they break too fast. I looked over pictures of his older brothers and things they got around this age for Christmas and it is all stuff we still have..scooter, bike, trains, hot wheels, play musical instruments, even a skate board. I am at a loss. And sadly, if he were a girl, I would think the doll is a great present. There are no grandparents to give presents really. I always give books too. Does it sound like I should add anything or change anything up? He does not seem to really understand the idea of Christmas so when I ask what he would like for Christmas, I do not really get answers, which is fine and great. Past years, his presents have been very minimal as he was so young. But this year, he will really grasp that his siblings have presents. And he is starting to see presents under the tree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 does he have a bike? balance bikes can be good at this age. my boys would occasionally play with their sister's dolls. fine with me - boys grow up to be daddies. my tendency at that age was duplo, blocks, wooden trains, playmobile/fisher-price-little-people (no longer made), etc. one of the best gifts I ever bought was a fisher-price lawn mower for dudeling when he was two. - at four - he wanted a wheelbarrow from the garden store. he wouldn't let go of it. he even took it to bed with him the first night. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 I think the boy doll is great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 If he wants a doll, why on earth would you worry about it? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 I think the doll is a wonderful idea. Let him have fun nurturing his doll and playing with his car. I think you're smart to show him boys aren't any more limited than girls in the activities they can enjoy. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 If he likes to play with the dolls I see no problem. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frogger Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 The important thing is that the gift is for him and something he would enjoy. If he likes the doll then it is a great gift. I would differently if he didn't want a doll and you were pushing it on him. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 When my son was 2 we got him a doll before his little brother was born. He loved that thing for years. I think it’s fine to get him the doll. It sounds like the reason you’re waffling is that you want to get him a gift that will last for years, like a bike or something durable or something that can be passed down to other kids. Are there more kids in the family younger than him to pass things down to? It sounds like you have lots of durable things and maybe this year it’s ok to splurge on something just for him that isn’t as durable, but that he loves and is asking for. I don’t think it’s too girly. I think it’s good for boys to have something to love. Now, my son wasn’t the best father to his baby and flung him around and got him dirty, but it still was something for him to love in his own way. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 The doll is a fine idea. I would casually open a catalog of AG dolls (including boys) and see if he looks interested. It is fairly common for a 4yo boy to like a boy doll, but it is also fairly common for a 4yo boy to decide dolls are no longer interesting / appropriate for them. I wouldn't push it if the boy himself wasn't interested. I would probably get one or two small Lego kits or similar so he won't feel left out if the doll isn't a hit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 My boys adored their dolls. I seriously wouldn't worry about it. If he also likes more traditionally "boy" things, I'd stuff his stocking with some cheap matchbox cars or something to balance it all for him, not for some outside sense of what's right for a boy. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry in OH Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 If you are returning the RC car, get a Tonka Truck, one of the big metal ones. The doll and other toys can ride in it or he can take it outside to play in the dirt. My boys also had a ride-in truck, somewhat like a hard-top cosy coupe. Their doll rode in the bed. The doll was a gift to my oldest son when I was expecting son 2. Other than giving it rides in trucks, oldest wasn't very interested in it. My younger son played with it for years. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quercus Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 All my boys have their own baby dolls and slings for them. They don't love them as much as the girls, or for as long, but they do love them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 My ds played with dolls way more than his sister ever did. In fact, I have a distinct memory of dd around age 3 having a conversation with a family friend who asked, "What would you like for Christmas? A doll?" To which dd replied, "No! I hate dolls!" -- just before said friend presented her with a package containing (of course) a doll. 🤦♀️ Around the same age, ds found some of dd's barely touched dolls and accessories and really took to them for a couple of years. He especially loved pushing the little stroller. So get the sweet kid a doll and don't think twice about it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 (edited) A lot of the toy trucks do break really quickly. The plastic or metal Tonka trucks last really well. Personally, I'd never spend $70 on any doll for any child, and certainly not a 4 year old. There are so many cheaper options. I would expect a lot of breakage of toys with boys - at least that is my experience with 3 boys. I agree 100% with your dh. And I do not think this has much to do with a boy getting a doll. It's that crazy price tag for a toddler's toy. Edited December 17, 2019 by wintermom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 My boys always wished that there was an American Boy doll when their sisters played with theirs. I so wished they had one back then. I think it's a great idea and not too girly. My boys used to like Barbie sized dolls, as well. They both had Flynn from Tangled, and one of them had a Justin Bieber one. So I think dolls are great for boys who like them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 I don't think there's any reason to compare; shop for the kid, not for a photo. Maybe if my DH had ever held either a doll or an actual baby before DS, he would've been more comfortable as a new dad. (I don't think he was interested, but certainly a boy who is interested can get a start on baby-holding and diapering, two great life skills.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 15 hours ago, wintermom said: A lot of the toy trucks do break really quickly. The plastic or metal Tonka trucks last really well. Personally, I'd never spend $70 on any doll for any child, and certainly not a 4 year old. There are so many cheaper options. I would expect a lot of breakage of toys with boys - at least that is my experience with 3 boys. I agree 100% with your dh. And I do not think this has much to do with a boy getting a doll. It's that crazy price tag for a toddler's toy. Agreed. I wouldn't get a $70 doll for a 4 year old girl either. If you think he'd enjoy a doll, how about one of the cheaper choices available? THE N if he plays with it/enjoys it you can get him the more expensive version when he's a little older and more able to care for it properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 The doll is fine. I'd override DH's claim that the remote control car isn't going to last long enough. Who cares? Other ideas: A balance bike. Duplos. Play Doh. Tonka truck (made of metal, lasts forever). Toy tractor. One of those wooden balance/wobble boards. I'm blanking on the right name for them, but one of those small indoor trampoline things... A rebounder! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 1 hour ago, Katy said: The doll is fine. I'd override DH's claim that the remote control car isn't going to last long enough. Who cares? Other ideas: A balance bike. Duplos. Play Doh. Tonka truck (made of metal, lasts forever). Toy tractor. One of those wooden balance/wobble boards. I'm blanking on the right name for them, but one of those small indoor trampoline things... A rebounder! I guess people who don't appreciate waste of money or materials. Why add more stuff to the garbage heap if you know ahead of time it will break quickly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Yeah, I'd care about how long a toy is going to last. Why waste the money if you know the toy isn't going to last long? I'd rather find something that is known to last, even if it costs a bit more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Eh, we've had "junk" remote control cars that are still here, working fine, and $150+ ones that broke quickly. I don't necessarily think money=quality when it comes to electronic toys. Or any toys. And when you're talking about rounding out the number of presents for a single kid I don't have time to return something before Christmas. If DH had a problem with it HE should have been the one to shop. But then my DH does buy each of the kids at least 2 gifts every year. He likes toy shopping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Oh yeah, schliech is great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 My youngest son's lovey was a boy doll. He carried his baby every where for years. I don't remember when he stopped but I think a 4 year old would really love a doll, especially with a car to push him around in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 I think it's fine if he wants to play with the boy doll. My ds didn't like typical boy toys that much, but he didn't like boy dolls either. (We tried that.) He LOVED playing pretend with little plastic figurines. So, his favorite toys for years were little sets with Disney figurines (like 1-inch high Mickey Mouse, Pluto, Goofy, etc.), and others, plus the little houses and cars or whatever that went with them. In fact, that's what my girls played with too. (More than dolls, barbies, etc.) They all just loved playing "people" -- as we called it. We had 1-inch high Disney figurines, Lion King figurines, farm animal figurines, fairy figurines, you name it. We had little huts and castles and farmhouses and all sorts of stuff to go with them. But they also enjoyed building houses for them with plain old wooden blocks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoes+Ships+SealingWax Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 (edited) My nearly-7yo DS will be getting an 18” doll for Christmas as well. He wasn’t drawn to the boy dolls as much as the girls; I got him a girl with a kitty-print top & a “pet” kitten. This is in addition to the dozen or so stuffies (mostly - you guessed it - cats!) & the baby dolls he already owns. I have no doubt that he will love it! He’s also getting (from either us or extended family): an R/C monster truck, LEGOs, MadLibs, die cast cars, a video game, a Playmobil bus, PlayDoh, a larger metal construction vehicle for outdoor play, a light-up tracing pad, an airplane play set, a magnetic poetry kit, & a couple of tabletop games. His interests are pretty diverse (although jeez on the “things that go” - LOL). I see that as a wonderful thing! ☺️ Edited December 18, 2019 by Expat_Mama_Shelli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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