How busy are you?

[LongRamblings]

I am curious as to how many activities do your children attend that are away from homeschool time at home. (Coops count too.) I only ask because it seems many limit their children much more than we do and yet sometimes I find my teen complaining because I don't have enough time to "listen" or "drive her to the store" etc. The listen complaint comes usually when I am  teaching the younger siblings and she is finished for the day and wants to talk about shopping, the social media account she runs for the church, etc. I don't have as much "down time" free because I do so much for them. Okay, that was just a vent but I would like to know what  you all do. 

Currently we have....

Teen (recently quit judo three days a week (her choice that we were not entirely happy with) and tournament soccer (chose to play on the homeschool team only this season but wants to go back next season to both)

Monday - 3 hr soccer practice 

Tuesday- 3hr soccer practice

Wednesday- youth for 2 hours 

Thursday- 3 hr soccer practice 

Saturdays-refs soccer games 

 

Preteen

Monday- dance 4 hours

Wednesday- church dance team practice and youth total of 3 hours

Thursday-dance 2 hours

 

9 Yr old

Monday - football practice 2 hours

Tuesday- football practice 2 hours

Wednesday- we alternate weeks between Awanas and judo both of which are 1.5 hours

Thursday- football practice 2 hours

Friday- football practice 2 hours

Saturday- football games 2-3 hours

 

7 yr old

Monday- judo 1 hour

Tuesday- dance 2 hours

Wednesday- Awanas 1.5 hours

Thursday- judo 1 hour

 

Mom and Dad

every other week we have our church's in home meeting while kids are in Awanas 

and on the Wednesday nights we don't have our meetings, after dropping kids off at their functions we have an hour to go get coffee together just us two. 

 

Our oldest just started college out of state so we now do not have his football games and practices to account for.  

Our youngest three also play spring soccer when there is no football for my son. Dh coaches and that accounts for 1 hour practice per week per kid plus all day Saturday games. 

Oh, and Sundays are church days. 

 

 

Edited September 6, 2018 by LongRamblings

[HomeAgain]

Your schedule would drive me nuts.  I only have one kid I'm currently schlepping around.  He has:
Mondays: maybe p.e.
Tuesdays: music lesson, library, science group
Weds: park day
Saturday: ice skating (usually dh does the driving and taking care of this)

However, it sounds like the problem is not the amount of activities, but not having time set aside for 1:1.  Last night I sat with my teen in the kitchen at 10:30, long after I should have been in bed, because he works so much that touching base at least daily is important.  The 8yo and I did an afternoon tea today so that he could tell me all about the things in his head. ?  Dh and I reserve from 8:30-930pm as sacred 'us' time on his days off.  And dh spends a bit of time with each kid daily, too, doing things with them.  It's what keeps us connected.

[wendyroo]

My kids are 9, 7, 5, and almost 3...I expect our lives will look very different when I have preteens and teens.  For now, as much as possible I keep them in the same activities to save my sanity.  I also choose activities largely based on how their timing fits into our daily routine.  We like to do about 3 hours of school first thing in the morning, have a snack, go to an extracurricular, come home to eat lunch, have the big kids do their math, and then all have rest time.

Monday during our preferred late morning time slot:  Speech therapy for the younger two in the late morning.  The older two do school work while they wait.

Monday evening:  DH takes the two older boys to a trampoline and tumbling class.

Tuesday during our preferred late morning time slot:  Free swim time at the pool where they take lessons.  We all swim for an hour.

Wednesday, all morning:  Immersion Spanish class for all three of the older kids.  Next year the youngest will join as well.

Wednesday before dinner:  Swim lessons for all the kids.

Thursday during our preferred late morning time slot:  Homeschool gym for all the kids.

Friday during our preferred late morning time slot:  Art class for the three older kids.

Wendy

[Scarlett]

14 minutes ago, LongRamblings said:

I am curious as to how many activities do your children attend that are away from homeschool time at home. (Coops count too.) I only ask because it seems many limit their children much more than we do and yet sometimes I find my teen complaining because I don't have enough time to "listen" or "drive her to the store" etc. The listen complaint comes usually when I am  teaching the younger siblings and she is finished for the day and wants to talk about shopping, the social media account she runs for the church, etc. I don't have as much "down time" free because I do so much for them. Okay, that was just a vent but I would like to know what  you all do. 

Currently we have....

Teen (recently quit judo three days a week (her choice that we were not entirely happy with) and tournament soccer (chose to play on the homeschool team only this season but wants to go back next season to both)

Monday - 3 hr soccer practice 

Tuesday- 3hr soccer practice

Wednesday- youth for 2 hours 

Thursday- 3 hr soccer practice 

Saturdays-refs soccer games 

 

Preteen

Monday- dance 4 hours

Wednesday- church dance team practice and youth total of 3 hours

Thursday-dance 2 hours

 

9 Yr old

Monday - football practice 2 hours

Tuesday- football practice 2 hours

Wednesday- we alternate weeks between Awanas and judo both of which are 1.5 hours

Thursday- football practice 2 hours

Friday- football practice 2 hours

Saturday- football games 2-3 hours

 

7 yr old

Monday- judo 1 hour

Tuesday- dance 2 hours

Wednesday- Awanas 1.5 hours

Thursday- judo 1 hour

 

Mom and Dad

every other week we have our church's in home meeting while kids are in Awanas 

and on the Wednesday nights we don't have our meetings, after dropping kids off at their functions we have an hour to go get coffee together just us two. 

 

Our oldest just started college out of state so we now do not have his football games and practices to account for.  

Our youngest three also play spring soccer when there is no football for my son. Dh coaches and that accounts for 1 hour practice per week per kid plus all day Saturday games. 

Oh, and Sundays are church days. 

 

 

This schedule makes me tired just reading it.

Talking with teens is vitally important.  I was texting my ds (he was in the next room) and his girlfriend (who was at her own home) at 10:30 last night when I wanted to be asleep.  I told dh, 'they never want to talk to you until you are trying to sleep.'   

[HomeAgain]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

This schedule makes me tired just reading it.

Talking with teens is vitally important.  I was texting my ds (he was in the next room) and his girlfriend (who was at her own home) at 10:30 last night when I wanted to be asleep.  I told dh, 'they never want to talk to you until you are trying to sleep.'   

10:30 must be the magic hour for teens. ?

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Can't really compare schedules, it's hard to envision how other families might interact during transit or down times or whatever, but I will agree with HomeAgain:

If you have a teen clearly telling you she needs more time to talk with you, make it happen. Sadly, here, the teen talk moments are usually at some ungodly hour of the night after their work shifts. But they are essential. It doesn't have to be about anything heavy; she might just miss you. But if you make the time for the unimportant chats, the way will be paved for the inevitable Big Talks.

Can she go with you to take a sibling to an activity, and then you can chat while the sibling is actually doing the activity? It's not like you have to stare at every moment of soccer practice, times four days per week. Maybe sit in the car with some coffees.

I try to have some time with each family member each day, just 15 minutes to ask about their day and focus on them, as the minimum of spending time with my kids so they'll talk to me about the important stuff in life. Definitely, it seems a mother has to become more deliberate about this as the teens grow up and get very busy, themselves, while we are as busy as ever with the younger kids. (And burning out, because we are getting older.) But I believe it's right to see it through, for every child. It's worth it, to have teens and young adults who want to communicate with us.

Edited September 6, 2018 by Tibbie Dunbar

[Scarlett]

1 minute ago, Tibbie Dunbar said:

Can't really compare schedules, it's hard to envision how other families might interact during transit or down times or whatever, but I will agree with HomeAgain:

If you have a teen clearly telling you she needs more time to talk with you, make it happen. Sadly, here, the teen talk moments are usually at some ungodly hour of the night after their work shifts. But they are essential. It doesn't have to be about anything heavy; she might just miss you. But if you make the time for the unimportant chats, the way will be paved for the inevitable Big Talks.

Can she go with you to take a sibling to an activity, and then you can chat while the sibling is actually doing the activity? It's not like you have to stare at every moment of soccer practice, times four days per week. Maybe sit in the car with some coffees.

I try to have some time with each family member each day, just 15 minutes to ask about their day and focus on them, as the minimum of spending time with my kids so they'll talk to me about the important stuff in life. Definitely, it seems a mother has to become more deliberate about this as the teens grow up and get very busy, themselves, while we are as busy as ever with the younger kids. (And burning out, because we are getting older.) But I believe it's right to see it through, for every child. It's worth it, to have teens and young adults who want to communicate with us.

Exactly.  Some of my work is flexible and on the day it is, I make sure I am done and available to my son when he is due home from his classes.  Yesterday he spent 2 hours chatting with me.  I was so thankful I had finished my work early.

[Chris in VA]

It's hard when you have mulitple kids in multiple activities. I had it easy. We didn't homeschool our boys (started when oldest was in 9th grade) early, and they didn't do too much because of $. One had tae kwan do 3 times a week and one had historical swords one day a week. Little one had swimming during the school day, once a week, and one day of dance. Hers took place during the school day (homeschool). 

I think each kid should be able to pick something. I love the model of those organizations that hold every age at the same time on the same night (I think it's Upward Bound, maybe?) so parents come out for everyone at once. 

It's just a lot, isn't it? 

Once suggestion is to do times with just one kid, that isn't with an agenda. A friend calls it "Day with Dad," and each of his 4 boys gets one each month. They literally spend the day together, doing lunch and something fun, and just talking and listening and enjoying each other's company. Maybe you could do something like that on a weekly basis. 

[freesia]

That would be a tough schedule for us, too.  That's a lot of hours away multiple days for multiple children.  Our children have activities, but not every day.

High schooler

Sunday: 2 hour acting, 2 hour youth group

Monday: 30 minute music lesson next door

Tuesday: nothing

Weds.: youth group/dinner 3-4 hours; weekly half day co-op

Thursday: TaeKwonDo 2 hours; 1/2 hour music lesson next door

Friday: alt Friday half day co-op

Sat. in fall: work at local business

8th grader

Sunday: 2 hour youth

Monday: 2 hour FLL; 2 hour Boyscout

Tuesday: nothing

Weds: 3-4 hour youth/dinner

Thursday: 2 hour TKD

Friday: alt half day co-op

Sat: nothing unless there is a campout

4th grader

Sunday: fall soccer 1 hour

Monday:nothing

Tuesday:nothing

Weds. : comes to half day co-op does school work with me; Kid's club 3-4 hour

Thurs: 30 minute music lesson next door; TKD

Friday: alt. co-op

Sat: fall 1 hour practice

There is another activity at a really close church we sometimes add bc it gives me 2 hours twice a week of a break and time with friends.  But it is contigent on life feeling in balance.  Your schedule reminds me of when my oldest has a play and life feels totally crazy.  Every family is different, but if your kids are giving you the message they want to slow down, I would.

[freesia]

Just now, Seasider too said:

 

Oh yeah, and once they hit college - at least that first semester or two away from home - I accepted texts at 1am. Not an emergency, just an awake and chatty young adult. 

I just got the first one of these! Ack! I may not survive. LOL

[rebbyribs]

Starting next week we have:

Mondays - nothing outside the house

Tuesdays - swim team practice and swim lessons (5:00-6:45 pm, but not all of the kids swim at the same time.)

Wednesdays - we're out of the house from 9am - 1:30 pm for the kids to go to an outdoor education program (nature study, games & farm animals)

Thursdays - swim team practice and swim lessons (5-6:45 pm)

Fridays - nothing outside the house

Saturdays - usually swim practice 10:30-noon

Sunday - nothing outside the house

We do about 3 swim meets per year, which are both weekend days. Sometimes some of the kids take art classes, but the local place isn't offering anything that doesn't conflict with swim team this fall.

[Arcadia]

I don’t drive so my kids schedule is rather slack.

Monday - DS13’s tennis. We take public transport for 1.5 hrs and DS12 does academic work at the picnic tables outside the tennis courts while DS13 is at tennis. My husband picks us up after work. 

Thursday - chinese with tutor at library. My husband drops us off before work and picks us up after work. Kids do their work at library 

Friday - both kids have tennis. So 1.5 hrs of public transport there and husband picks us up after work. Kids do work there at the picnic tables outside the tennis courts. 

Saturday - german class. My husband drives and I get to sleep in the car. 

I only have two kids and we have plenty of time to talk and hear them whine. 

[RootAnn]

It makes it easier to see all on one schedule. I have two teens, two tweens, and one 9ish-yr-old.

Sunday: Church
Monday: Oldest Teen has Dual Enrollment (DE) - out of the house 2 hrs in the a.m. & volunteering 1 hr in the afternoon (drives herself); Younger Teen has 2 hrs volunteering in the afternoon.
Tuesday:  karate for up to 3 kids (younger two kids + Oldest Teen) x 1 hr (either afternoon or evening)
Wednesday:  Teen has DE all day (drives herself); Tumbling for 2 kids (Younger Teen + youngest) x 1 hr evening
Thursday: Gymnastics for youngest x 1 hr evening; Piano for younger tween x 45 min in the afternoon; Art lessons for Younger Teen x 1 1/2 hrs in afternoon (walkable)
Friday: karate for up to 3 kids x 1 hr (either afternoon or evening); Oldest Teen volunteers 2 hrs in the afternoon & drives herself.
Saturday: nothing routinely scheduled

This is about as busy as I can take it. I'm very fortunate to have a teen driver to help with lots of the things on this list and the kids keep track of their stuff, mostly. I puffy-heart love the conversations I have with my Oldest Teen. Younger Teen mostly wants to talk about her books. Older Tween unloads at random times. 

[rebcoola]

Well I only have 2 but 

Monday- YDD 4 hr gymnastics, ODD 30 min guitar every other week AHG 90mins

Tuesday ODD Roller Derby 2 hrs

Wednesday YDD 4hr gymnastics

Thursday YDD 4 hr Gymnastics

Friday whole family church community group dinner

Saturday Nothing

Sunday Church,  ODD Roller Derby 2 hrs

[sweet2ndchance]

You cannot be everything to everyone nor can you do everything in every season of life. You have to prioritize. You have to decide what is important to your family. If religion is important, then church obligations take priority and if sports are important, then taking everyone to various practices will take priority, even if you must let go of other things to do it.

Personally, in our family, it is family relationships that we value above all else. So we don't do tons of outside activities in order to spend lots of time as a family. Everyone's priorities will look different and what each family chooses to value is what is right for them. There may even be different seasons of life where the same family might put a higher priority on a different value. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

If we're raising children, they are the point. The activities and whatnot are for them, obviously, to help them become who they are supposed to be. But even the good stuff will become just noise and distraction, if it gets in the way of the real conversation! There is not one family in the United States, or probably in lots of other countries, who do not have to reevaluate the balance constantly. It's not a failure to find ourselves without time for someone in the family; it's just a realization that necessitates a solution. "Not listening to her" is the only option you don't have. Everything else is variable.

[LongRamblings]

3 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

Wow, honestly, those practice times sound a bit excessive.  You have a 9yr old who is doing 2 hours of football practice 4 days a week?  On TOP of the games?  That just seems like a LOT. 

 

Oh, wait, are you including drive time? 

Here football practice starts at 6 and ends at 8 if the coach doesn't run over a few minutes and is four days a week. Thankfully the fields are 5 minutes from house so not much driving time there. I did include driving times in all the other practices though.  My son didn't start playing until last year and was the only newbie on the field. Kids start playing at 5 and 6 yrs old but we refused to let my son start that young even though he begged every year even though we let him try many other sports that were less time consuming. Honestly we would rethink even letting him play now if he wasn't so devoted to it and he has by far the best, safest set of coaches around. I don't say that lightly as I had another boy that played from 8yrs old through high school. If we drop the team now, he isn't guaranteed to get these coaches again. While at practice I see some of the ways the other ages/teams are treated with the cursing at them (younger than middle school aged kids) and the few water breaks, I know I don't want one of them. I called my husband and told him he needed to talk me down before I marched across the practice field and let a coach have it last week after hearing 4 curse words thrown at a approx 10 yr old with the last one being "get your head out of your #@@" He quickly told me that all the parents are required to stay at practice just as we are so they obviously know and are okay with it. I was livid! 

[Guest]

Those schedules would drive this introvert out of my cotton-pickin’ mind. 

I agree with Home Again and Tibbie. I always found time in the car to be an optimal time to talk with teens, especially the more reserved teen who is slow to open up. (Anyway, I am the same way, so it’s good for us both!) Once my oldest kid had a driver’s license and could drive herself to school, I still alternated her driving with me driving; I made some excuse to achieve this, but the reason was so we would still have that car time to talk about what things were bothering her about school or issues. 

[MinivanMom]

We have:

Monday: choir for tween dd & orchestra for teen dd

Tuesday: ballet for tween dd & Scouts for the boys

Wednesday: piano lessons for younger kids & sports practice for the boys

Thursday: ballet for tween dd & strings lesson for teen dd

Fridays: Free

Saturdays: soccer & baseball games for the boys, ballet rehearsal for tween dd, & ensemble rehearsal for teen dd

Sundays: Free

I love our current schedule, but I know it would be too much for many people. Your schedule looks pretty heavy to me (and I have a very high tolerance for busyness) so I would take it seriously if she's complaining that she doesn't have time to talk to you or spend with you. Something is off, and I would make solving that a big, number one priority. I find that my teens talk best in the car as I'm driving them around. Would it be possible for her to tag along when you're driving younger kids to their activities? Could you squeeze in a shopping trip before you have to come back and pick them up? Is there time in the evening that you can give to her? If none of those sound like they could work, then it might be time to readjust so that you have the time to give her.

[LongRamblings]

2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

I’ve been nearly as busy as you.

 

We intentionally pulled way the hell back.  Everyone is happier.

I've have dreamed of pulling back but the kids are fine with the other siblings pulling back but not them. Then I feel guilty just considering it since my oldest two, one in college and one newly college graduated and married, were able to do multiple activities because we didn't have so many children at the time. It wasn't them that chose to have a big family. 

[LongRamblings]

Thank you for all the responses especially concerning our schedule and allowing down time. You have given me much to think about. I guess part of why I do all this is because I was never allowed to do outside activities growing up because my parents were not willing to drive us places. Church was not even a given while I grew up until I began driving myself. I wanted more for my kids but somehow more has taken over. I do need to reconsider  everything. I definitely don't want to lose any personal relationship or closeness we have because of time constraints on things even if they are not necessarily bad. One thing I cherish is the between time with my preteen on Mondays is our "dinner time".  Her dance is too far to drive back home and back in time for class to end so I park and stay. I have a couple of hours of "me time" to read quietly in the truck or work on whatever I want. In between classes we grab a quick bite to eat at a local restaurant and talk. It is usually only 30-40 minutes but enough time to enjoy each other's company. I need to figure out how to incorporate individual time for the rest of the kids too. 

[LongRamblings]

Just now, Arctic Mama said:

I let the kids have an activity, but the practice schedule has to be one we can manage.  They aren’t limitless.  So if we can’t make it work in two nights a week or so it’s a no go.  The younger kids didn’t ask to have a disabled sibling, either, but we deal with the therapy schedule anyway, you know?

 

The kids aren’t entitled to an equal experience at every stage of life.  We do a lot of group activities, but less now than we used to.  There are finite hours and we couldn’t spend them running ragged, nobody found that profitable and I was crashing and burning.

 

Is there any way to move some of this to weekends or morning or double up a bit more?  Do you have some older drivers at least?  If the driving isn’t all on you it may be more doable - I’m the sole chauffeur so that impacts things here as well ?

We live hours away from family so it is just dh and myself doing the driving. My daughter has her permit but no license yet. We told her she can get it as soon as she completes all of her work for the week before Friday so we can go then since I schedule Fridays as light days for all the kids. She likes to procrastinate and never finishes all her M-T work without some carrying over on Friday so she hasn't earned the privilege of a licence yet. 

[MinivanMom]

6 minutes ago, LongRamblings said:

Thank you for all the responses especially concerning our schedule and allowing down time. You have given me much to think about. I guess part of why I do all this is because I was never allowed to do outside activities growing up because my parents were not willing to drive us places. Church was not even a given while I grew up until I began driving myself. I wanted more for my kids but somehow more has taken over. I do need to reconsider  everything. I definitely don't want to lose any personal relationship or closeness we have because of time constraints on things even if they are not necessarily bad. One thing I cherish is the between time with my preteen on Mondays is our "dinner time".  Her dance is too far to drive back home and back in time for class to end so I park and stay. I have a couple of hours of "me time" to read quietly in the truck or work on whatever I want. In between classes we grab a quick bite to eat at a local restaurant and talk. It is usually only 30-40 minutes but enough time to enjoy each other's company. I need to figure out how to incorporate individual time for the rest of the kids too. 

 

This is also my background, and I know it plays a role in my tendency to over-commit to activities. I struggle to tell my kids no to good activities that give them opportunities to develop talents and socialize with other kids. And I have struggled to accept that my younger kids can't do quite as much as the older kids did, because it doesn't feel right or fair.

But it is my responsibility to help our family have balance. And that includes a balance between busyness & downtime, a balance between activities & family time, and a balance between the needs of the teens & the younger kids. So, no, my younger kids aren't able to do as many things right now as the older kids did, but that's okay. Their experiences aren't better or worse than what the older kids got at that age. They are just different. Eventually the older kids will be gone to college, and the younger kids will get 100% of our attention - which is something the older kids will never have as teens. That's okay; things can't always be exactly equal.

We just have to remember that it will always be the relationships and the support and the time that matter most. Activities can be a way of showing support and giving time, but they can also get in the way of your relationship. There has to be balance. It's not really activities that I was missing as a child, and it's not really activities that I'm wanting to give to my own children. I want them to have a warm, solid, supportive relationship with me. I want them to know I'm there for them. 

[SKL]

Yeah, those practice times sound long - are you including the prep and commute?

I'm not a homeschooler, but I will chime in, because I can relate to "busy."  I have two 11yo girls.  In addition to all this, they have a fair amount of homework every evening.  Also, this doesn't include special events like weekend camping for scouts / youth group etc.

Current schedule:

Monday:

• School volleyball practice 5-7 (both)
• Kid 1 has gymnastics 7-8:30 at a location about 30 minutes away.  (She leaves volleyball early to get to gym on time.)

Tuesday:

• School youth group 3-5 (both)
• Kid 2 has horse riding 5:30-7

Wednesday

• Kid 2 has horse riding 5:30-7
• Kid 1 has gymnastics 7:30-8:45

Thursday

• Volleyball practice 3-5
• Biweekly - scouts 6:30-8.  Other weeks, may do TKD if it doesn't fit another night.

Friday

• 2 volleyball games, usually.
• Dinner out with friends.

Saturday

• Kid 2 to horse riding all morning.
• Kid 1 to math tutoring.
• Kid 1 to gymnastics.
• May do TKD if it doesn't fit another time.

Sunday

• Confirmation class.
• Church.
• Kid 1 to a race in the afternoon.

My kids' best chance to talk to me one-on-one is when I am driving them individually to an activity their sister is not in.  Or, if someone else is doing the driving, then I have time with the kid at home.  Otherwise, when they get tucked in at night.  The rest of the time, their sister is almost always present.

[frogger]

I don't want to post my schedule because it's irrelevant and will take a long time and well, I'm busy. Ha ?

It definitly looked very different when I had a 7 year old and 9 year old in the house though. Right now I have an extra driver and my kids bike to some activities so it doesn't equate to where you are at now. I mostly have teens.

 

What I can share is that it isn't about being fair but about what's best for everyone. Time to cuddle up for read alouds with youngers or talk into the night with big kids is important and I'm so very thankful my kids WANT to talk to me, very different than my growing up years.

What I do is make a list of the most important things, talk time, home time for studying, chores, but I also ask them what is THE most important thing to them. We try to make that one thing happen but we can't do everything. For one it's music and another martial arts and another swim lessons and another friend time. If they have anything else it's only because it is with their sibling (I often have 2 or 3 at a particular thing) or just works out easy because they can bike or have a ride. They know and understand I do my best to get them the most important things though even if they take breaks at times.

Edited September 7, 2018 by frogger

[Targhee]

Mon: 30 min violin lesson(#4), 90 min soccer(#2), 60 min parkour (#2 & 3)

Tue: 30 min sax lesson (#2), 60 min parkour (#1 & 4), 60-75 min soccer games (#2 & 4), 90 min youth group (#1 & 2)

Wed: 60 min homeschool group (#2 & 4), 60 min math club (#1), 60 min choir (#3), 45 min group violin (#4)

Thu: 45 min soccer (#4), 90 min soccer (#2)

Fri: field trip group every few weeks (#2 & 4), scout camp-outs once a month

Sat: 60-75 min soccer games (#2 & 4)

#3 recently quit swim (mixed feelings about that) so the lessened the schedule, and soccer is only 2 months in the fall and 3 months in the spring.  It still looks like a lot when I type it out.  

[EMS83]

Um... very much not at all.  I would die with some of these schedules.   ?

Edited September 7, 2018 by CES2005

[Shoeless]

My kiddo isn't much interested in team sports or group instruction.  Right now we stick to:

Library Lego Club once a month for 90 minutes

Homeschool Club once a month at the library for 90 minutes

Home Depot Kids Workshop once a month (Sometimes we run into friends there)

Art Club once a Month for 90 minutes 

Library Pre-teen Maker Space Club once a week for 90 minutes

Bowling once a week (there may or may not be other homeschoolers there) for about 2 hours

Plus a once a week park meet up and various field trips.  My kiddo is newly 10, and I expect that a lot of this will change in a year or two. I'm considering adding in art classes, but I want to get into a solid school-work routine before we do that. 

[BakersDozen]

One thing we have tried to do is to have activities that multiple kids can participate in. We did the separate sports/teams thing one time and one time only...not worth the insane schedule! Our basic week looks like this:

Sunday - nothing except church, possibly have a family join us for fellowship/meal
*Monday - Irish step dance (3:30-5, 7 kids)
Tuesday - possibly swim at the Y in evening
Wednesday - Bible Quiz practice (4 kids) 4:30-6:30
Thursday - Kenpo at the YMCA (6:30-7:30, 6 kids); swim afterward
*Friday - bowling (3:00-5:00, 6 kids)
Saturday - Kenpo and swim
* indicates optional activities

Some of our kids may participate in theater (my son manages a small children's theater) but practices are short and there are usually 4-6 kids participating. I jealously guard our evenings all together.

As for my older kids it is not unusual for me to sit in the kitchen with one or more of them until 1am chatting. Those who do not live at home often call or send me a message via FB and we'll talk late into the night. Our porch and kitchen lights don't go off until at least 1am and the kids know that they are always welcome to chat. They know I am busy with the little/middle kids during the day so they do not begrudge that time yet I also know I need to purposefully carve out time for my older ones. I will often invite an older to accompany me on an errand and we will chat in the van or stop for a snack somewhere. The other night I sat with some of my older dc and went over schoolwork at 9:30pm, only it turned into a 2-hour silly chat time with lots of laughter and late-night chocolate.



 

[Carrie12345]

I've cut back in effort to save my sanity... literally.

This season, I'm driving two kids to the cc on M/W afternoons and picking them up in the evening. Thursday is all day co-op.  Dh typically does the driving for firehouse related stuff, which is one night a week plus calls, plus special events (though I'm often there for events.) Once kids' field trips/events/hang outs/etc. get sprinkled in, that's plenty for me.  Ds still needs to get a job, which I will be chauffeuring for a while.

Next semester, I don't know what the cc schedule will look like.  One dd will also have EMT classes two weeknights and most weekends.  Dh will help with that. She'll probably have her license, but may not be ready (or I may not be ready for her!) for the extensive night driving on back country roads.  Other dd will have softball. I'd like to get the boys back to karate.  Spring may set my mental health back again!

[Soror]

 Parenting is a rat race these days to be the busiest, we have to be mindful of how much we do because for most of us we have more options than time. We cut back a few years ago after a couple of years of being too busy. There are too many good and wonderful things to do, we can't do them all. Everything we add is sacrificing something else. It is easy to get caught up in looking at the positives only, but kids and adults need down time and time for free play. With homeschooling, I think it is easier to do more because quite often we can finish school in less time in PS but there is still only so much time in the day.

As Artic Mom said my kids did fine when we cut our schedule back, when we added TKD back in it was with careful thought, I sat on it a very long time before pulling the trigger and the big reason I said yes was that the time was earlier and all but 1 could do it (and dd3 did babysitting while I worked out at the gym next door so it worked out great!). Just yesterday we added in another class for dd3 which is in the time directly following the big kid's TKD, I really didn't want to but the teacher opened up the class and dd3 has been asking for her own activity to do. I'll be happy when she is old enough to join the big kids.

I'd sit down with your list of everything all out there are start prioritizing, not just what you like to do the best but things like family time, downtime, and time with the kids 1 on 1. All of those things need to fit in there. 

I know some families that thrive on busier schedules and some that thrive on slower schedules than our own.The *right* choice is individual, best wishes figuring out what works for your family.

[DawnM]

When I homeschooled, we were out almost every week night.

Monday-boyscouts from 7-10 or 11 (homeschool troop, kids hung out FOREVER!)

Tuesday-Robotics from 5-10  (after co-op all day)

Wednesday-church from 7-9

Thursday-Soccer from 5-7 (after math and science outside classes)

Friday-Game night at the local game store (Magic and D&D) from 7-midnight

Saturday-our bible study met every other Saturday from 5-9  (and some soccer games during the day)

Sunday-youth group 6-9 (and church in the morning.)

Sometimes we would pick an activity to skip just because I really hated being out every night.  

Now that we no longer homeschool, we are much busier (we are out of the house from 7am-5pm typically between school and after school practices and I work full time) but we don't have the evening stuff as much.  We still do game night on Fridays and I still do Saturday bible study every other week, but we don't do the rest.  We simply can't.  There is homework, and stuff do get done and we are far more tired.

[MysteryJen]

Honestly, that looks about right to me given the sports involved and your ages and number of kids. We were busy every night while homeschooling, mostly with sports. We did put lessons in the middle of the day- but 4-9 every night was taken up with a combination of swim team, water polo, climbing, rugby and judo. My older kids had to learn to tag along for the youngers sometimes, which was important. We operated on the principle that everyone got to do at least one thing they wanted- compromises and carpools had to be found if there was conflict. 

Time in the car was great with the teens. Great with sibling bonding. Sports in the teen years, for the most part, are a lot of time.

Teens get busy-jobs, school, sports and when they get their license, you lose a lot of time with them. So you have to be intentional about time and flexible when they want to talk.

 

[Momto6inIN]

I can only do 2 outside of the house things a week during school hours without losing my mind and/or short-changing their education. One is always either speech and debate club (all of us in the fall) or drama club (all of us in the winter and spring). The other one kind of varies and includes things like Bible studies or dr appts or Food Pantry volunteering or whatever else comes up. Anything more than that and I don't function well either as a parent or as a teacher. Most of our evenings are spent at home working on our own projects, practicing piano, or just hanging out together.

We have a vibrant social life with our church and our friends, so it's not like we're isolated at all. And once the kids can drive they get more involved in activities with friends and they get a job and whatever else and their evenings get more busy. But I really think the "typical" American schedule where kids have a scheduled activity going on every day (sometimes more than one!) gives a false impression that people who are involved in fewer activities are somehow not giving their kids enough stimulation. I actually think the opposite is true. Giving my kids more time at home to develop their own passions and interests on their own timetable instead of having them involved in a zillion activities at a young age has been a gift, although many people look at me like I have 2 heads when I tell them my kids don't do sports or scouts or what have you. We just hang out together. And they are none the worse for it at all.