Why do you do the right thing?

[LBC]

We ordered Chinese food last night, and when the delivery driver collected the money, he misread the amount on the bill, and left with too little cash. I called back to let them know, and the young man on the phone told me that I had just earned a bunch of Karma points, and asked me if I believed in Karma. I told him that I didn't believe in Karma, that I was a Christian, and that I believed in being honest. As soon as I got off the phone, I regretted my response. Although it was true, I don't think that my honesty was based on what I believe as a Christian. I think I would have done the same thing even if I wasn't a Christian, and I'm sure there are many others who don't believe in God or Karma, and yet they choose honesty.

 

This got me thinking about why. Why do we do the right thing? I'd like to hear from those of you who don't believe in intelligent design, or follow the teachings of a wise leader, as well as those who do have a belief system. Why do you think you do the right thing? Is it cultural? The values you were raised with? Your religion? A conscience? A mixture of both?

 

I'm not looking for a debate. This is an honest question. Reading these forums has taught me so much about how different people believe, and why people do the things they do. I'd love to wrestle with this question. I thought of making it a poll, but I think there's too much that wouldn't be discussed if it were a poll - besides, I don't know how to make a poll yet.

 

I look forward to your responses!

 

Lori

[Renee in NC]

I do the right thing because I can put myself in someone else's shoes. I try to always treat people and handle situations the way I want others to.

 

In your scenario, it is very likely that the driver would have had to make up the difference out of his own money. It would hurt me to have to do that, so I don't want anyone else to do that if I can help it.

[Highereducation]

For me, it's probably a combination of conscience and Christianity. I was raised Catholic and I'm now a member of the Reformed Church, and I would feel hypocritical sitting in church if I didn't go out into the world and uphold the values that I purport to embrace.

 

Also, my dh and I feel it's very important to set the right example for our dd. If we are dishonest about something, how can we expect her to do the right thing?

 

Lastly, I usually put myself in the other person's shoes. It helps me treat other people the way I would hope to be treated by them.

[Scarlett]

Sometimes I do the right thing because I want to and sometimes I only do it because I know God is watching me. ;)

 

I can't base my answer on how I might feel if I was not a Christian. I was raised in this faith and I have no frame of reference for non believing decision making.

[Jenny in Florida]

I do the right thing (or try to, most of the time) because I would want other people to do the same and because it makes the world a better place for everyone. I don't need an external force to compel my behavior.

[Hillary in KS]

I try to do the right thing because it pleases God. That is my goal in whatever I do: keeping my house, driving on the highway, speaking and interacting with others, etc.

[Carrie12345]

Because life would be miserable if it was filled with nothing but rotten people.

[3lilreds in NC]

I do the right thing so that I have no regrets; so I don't cause pain to someone else if I can help it; and sometimes just because God says so. There, I said it. Sometimes I feel mean and snarky and the LAST thing I want to do is the "right thing" - but I still try to do it.

[Saille]

This is an interesting question!

 

I'm with drama queen. I can't help thinking about how it would affect the other person. My religious beliefs reflect the kind of choices I make, but I think I'd make them anyway.

[Tracey in TX]

What a great question!

DH gets frustrated with me when I'm annoyed that someone doesn't do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. I am Christian and believe it's our responsibility to do our perception of the right thing. We have rules, laws, commandments, recommendations that should be adhered to, but often are ignored. I'm driven as much by my desire to please God as my need to show DCs the right way to behave. There is no single guiding law for mankind which inheritly lists acceptable behavior. Therefore we must go on social mores, our personal expectations, and our belief in a greater good--to include religion.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think that since we were made in God's image, that a good deal of it is just "in us." Of course, nature and nurture has a lot to do with how it plays out in any one person. Also, how much one puts any thought into it would. So it ends up that we have various reasons like you (and others) mention, but ultimately, I believe it's in how we were made.

[RoughCollie]

I do the right thing because I would feel guilty forever if I didn't.

 

RC

[Tammy]

not because I live by 'rules' which I am expected to follow. I do the right thing because I can put myself in that place....and hope for the same.

 

I think....what goes around....comes around!

 

 

 

.

[Crissy]

I do the right thing because the wrong thing is generally hurtful to other people.

 

In the case you mentioned, someone at the restaurant could have easily been accused of stealing the missing money and possibly lost his or her job.

 

It is easy to think that the little decisions we make every day only affect us, but I believe our actions have a much deeper affect on others than we often realize.

[laurad1125]

I try to do the right thing (I don't always succeed) because I have to live with me. I want to know that I have not added to the misery that exists in this world.

 

I also do the right thing because my children are watching me and I want them to do the right thing.

[KAR120C]

If I want to live in a world full of honest people, then the best thing I can do is to be one of them myself. And if I want to be surrounded by nice people, I need to be nice myself.

 

And then there's the OCD... LOL... I realized I had walked off with a pen from the grocery store a few weeks ago, and I know they don't really care, but it really bugged me because that pen belonged at the store and it was out of place. I didn't really care all that much about it being the right thing to do (do I want to live in a world where pens don't go missing? not really at the top of the priority list) as much as I just wanted it to be where it belonged, and out of my car! :willy_nilly:

[mamaof2andtwins]

I chose to do the right thing because I am accountable to God. Unfortunately I also fail to do the right thing when I should as well.

[TeacherZee]

I'm not a religious person and I do things like that because it was the way I was brought up. I treat others the way I want to be treated.

[bumbledeb]

I had this discussion with my children just recently. One of them jokingly pointed out how easy it would have been to do something dishonest in a certain situation because "no one would ever know", another replied "God would know".

 

I said it wouldn't matter even if God would never know, or even if God didn't exist. The right thing to do is the right thing to do because it is the right thing to do.

 

I really hope that is why I do the right thing and I hope it's why my children will make moral choices.

[Michelle T]

I do not like knowing that my actions have hurt another, so I try to be careful and avoid that.

 

I know that if I want the world to be a good place to live, then I have to do my part to make it good.

 

I like setting a good example for my son.

 

And while it is not a primary reason for me, my religion, Judaism, does command that we treat others with honesty, kindness, respect.

Michelle T

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Because it's one way I can make the world a better place.

[jamnkats]

Wow, what a DEEP question. I've been thinking and thinking and the only thing I can superficially come up with is, "because it is the RIGHT thing to do". Same reason you help people who need help.

 

But why is it right? I suppose it has something to do with the way I was raised, boycotting grapes, protesting the (Vietnam) war, believing in JFK, listening to MLK, and being mindful that we (white, American citizens) are incredibly lucky and have amazing opportunity.

 

I don't believe in any gods or a god. I don't think there is any higher power but I definitely believe in treating people and the earth well. I really don't know how I came to that belief, but it must have come from parenting.

 

I give lip-service to kharma and it is probably the closest "religious" pov that I can identify with but I am not sure I honestly BELIEVE-believe in it. I kind of do - you get back what you put into the universe, but really, I don't think that starving African children are getting back what they put into the universe so I simply HOPE that the BAD guys get bad kharma back. I guess I hope for retributive kharma. :)

 

What a GREAT question! I'm going to ask all my kids and see what they come up with.

[motherofjoy]

Doing "the right thing" is usually the most beneficial to the species. Evolution favors "doing the right thing".

[dragons in the flower bed]

I'd like to hear from those of you who don't believe in intelligent design, or follow the teachings of a wise leader, as well as those who do have a belief system. Why do you think you do the right thing? Is it cultural? The values you were raised with? Your religion? A conscience? A mixture of both?

 

Honestly, most of the time, I do the right thing out of habit. Perhaps that would be filed under upbringing? Generally, though, I do the right thing because it is fulfilling. I don't believe that virtue can be separated from abundance, not because a deity watches over me and rewards me for doing the right things, but because living ethically is the way to create both an internally satisfying life. From a guide to virtue for beginning Pagans in my sect:

 

"Although there are circumstances beyond your control that can stand in your way or harm you or yours, you need not be at the mercy of those forces. Our modern word ethics comes directly from the Greek ethikos. For all of the Greek philosophers, ethikos was about achieving eudaimonia, literally good fate. Eudaimonia is usually translated as 'fulfillment' or 'leading a flourishing life.' For the ancients, ethics was about having as much control as possible over one's well being. Although some aspects of eudaimonia are external to the individual, like having sufficient food and warmth, most of the elements of a flourishing, fulfilled life are internal goods which are within our control."

 

So that's my main reason. It feels good to do good, and like Drama Queen and Saille say, it feels bad to hurt people. But It's more than internal goods that virtue wins you. Friendship and work opportunities often follow a consistent display of good character.

 

Sometimes, a particular virtuous act is a way of honoring my deities. For example, my partner Brett is a devotee of Hermes, the god of wanderers. He worships Hermes by caring for the homeless at every opportunity. When he took in two teen runaways and hooked them up with safe shelter and a legal aid lawyer to help them prosecute abusive foster (or bio) parents, it was an act of worship of Hermes.

Edited November 10, 2008 by dragons in the flower bed
weird segue

[KidsHappen]

I do the right thing because it is the instictual thing to do. I don't have to think about it, it comes naturally. It is an intrinsict part of who I am. I really have to stop and think twice to do the wrong thing. If I actively chose to do the wrong thing then there are alram bells going off in my brain that scream, "Warning - something is wrong." I believe that is this way for most people. I believe that most people are inherently good. Some people are born wrong, a genetic defect if you will and the right/wrong system does not work correctly in their brains. These are the career criminals. I believe that they are born this way and there really is no way to cure or reform them. Of course, there are some people who actively chose to do wrong even if their system is working correctly but I believe that they pay a heavy price for this.

 

I also believe that there are laws against things that I do not believe to be wrong. Generally I chose to obey these laws not because I believe them to be right but because I don't want the hassle of dealing with authorities over items of small or no consequence. On the other hand, there are some things that are against the law that I do not believe should be and that I believe in strongly enough to commit a willful act of civil disobedience to do anyhow. Some examples of this would be: some of my children were born illegally at home, school illegally at home, not immunized against state law. I do not believe that the rights of the government trumps the rights of man in these cases, nor do I believe that these things are inherently wrong therefore I can live with myself when I chose not to obey these laws.

[Laura Corin]

I do the right thing (or try to, most of the time) because I would want other people to do the same and because it makes the world a better place for everyone. I don't need an external force to compel my behavior.

:iagree:

 

Laura

[Kris]

This got me thinking about why. Why do we do the right thing? I'd like to hear from those of you who don't believe in intelligent design, or follow the teachings of a wise leader, as well as those who do have a belief system. Why do you think you do the right thing? Is it cultural? The values you were raised with? Your religion? A conscience? A mixture of both?

 

The fact is I try do the right thing for *me* -- not because I'm trying to make the world a better place. I really don't think I have that kind of power. In the situation you describe, I'd obsess about "stealing" if I didn't give the money back. It would drive me nuts!

 

Then, you can get into a whole 'nother discussion about just what the "right thing" is in any given situation.

[Donna T.]

I do the right thing because the Holy Spirit that is within me gives testimony to God's desire for me:do unto one another as you desire to have done unto you. And, I do the right thing because my children are watching and they are really good at spotting hypocrisy.

 

Not that I always do the right thing, of course. I'm definately in process.

[kalanamak]

Why wouldn't you do the "right" thing?

 

The difficulty (I can almost hear Pooh discussing this) is what is "right"?

[Scarlett]

Why wouldn't you do the "right" thing?

 

The difficulty (I can almost hear Pooh discussing this) is what is "right"?

 

 

Because sometimes the wrong thing is easier or more fun at the moment? I don't know. I mean Good Grief, even Paul had a battle with himself to do what is right.

 

Sometimes I only do the right thing because I know it pleases God and he sees All. Am I the only Wicked Person on this thread?

[kalanamak]

Because sometimes the wrong thing is easier or more fun at the moment? I don't know. I mean Good Grief, even Paul had a battle with himself to do what is right.

 

Sometimes I only do the right thing because I know it pleases God and he sees All. Am I the only Wicked Person on this thread?

 

I'm sure I've done many things others would call "wrong" (a child out of wedlock for starters, I won't shock you'all with the rest). I think the thread has to do with being honest, fair, and decent to others. Habit combined with the belief it can only make the world *I* live in better. If I pull forward that extra 2 feet so people can get by for the right on red at the really long light near my house, maybe someone else will catch on and do if for me! No skin off my teeth.

 

The habit is from "as the twig is bent, so grows the tree". My folks were very staunch people. I live in a way to make them proud, and no less so because they are dead. And for us, all this without the Bible (my husband, who is religious, once, very ernestly, said "your family has made such good choices, and without the Bible" and I busted up laughing).

 

Thus far, I've had the luxury of never going hungry or roofless by being honest, etc. So, I've never been tested.

[Murphy101]

many reasons:

 

it's easier to do the right thing than worry about the effects of not doing the right thing (will karma come bite me in the bum? will I get caught? what if..?)

 

because my children are watching/listening and learning

 

because my dh loves me and I would not want him to ever be ashamed or embarrassed of me - not that he's ever expressed that before.

 

because I like the possiblity of heaven

 

because if I do right, I don't have to worry about doing wrong

 

I can't think of a good reason or any genuine benefit to purposely do wrong

 

I have enough stress in my life without trying

 

a well developed Catholic sense of guilt

[Mama Lynx]

It's a combination of how I was raised, the ability to put myself in the shoes of another, and moral/religious beliefs. In my case I do believe in a form of karma; I also believe it is my responsibility to do my best not to cause harm to another. I also believe a free, civil society works when people voluntarily hold themselves to the standard at which they want society to work.

[mcconnellboys]

I do happen to believe in God, but that doesn't prevent me from believing in the concept of karma, too. For me, karma, as all, is from God. I think that trying to do right by others is part of our gift from God that makes us "in His image". We're far from perfect, but I think it's in most of us to at least try....

[Mekanamom]

I do the right thing because I can put myself in someone else's shoes. I try to always treat people and handle situations the way I want others to.

 

 

That's pretty much what I came up with. Empathy.

[LilyK]

For me, there is great satisfaction in doing the right thing, especially when no one is looking or noticing. Then, I know that I have done it for the right reasons.

 

As far as what is the right thing, I try to use Jesus as an example and encourage my children to do the same.

[CactusPair]

This is such a great question! I love to ponder stuff like this!

 

I do the right thing (or try to) because I respect myself and my character. I can't like, love or honor myself if I don't act with integrity. Because I know the difference between right and wrong, I am bound to act with righteousness (not that I always do).

 

I feel that because I am intelligent, as opposed to being watched by an intelligent creator, I have a duty to act accordingly, with intelligence, dignity, honesty, and respect for myself and others. I'm not saying God is or isn't watching me. I'm saying God's presence or lack of presence does'nt affect how I choose to comport myself.

 

Partly, this is a self-serving ethics system: I don't want to be bad or act bad because then I would lose the esteem of the loudest, bullying earthly judge--myself. But it's more than that. I feel compelled to serve a "higher power than myself", which here I'm defining as a universal, timeless code of moral human conduct.

 

I think it's Kant(?) who discusses the categorical imperative, summed up as "what if everybody did this particular act, what would happen to society, what would the consequences be if this became universal law?" We don't want to be cheated, hurt, killed, robbed, etc., so we don't act against others either, in a mutual deal that creates the possiblity of civil society. Hmmmm..sounds kind of like Karma, now that I think of it.

 

I do ask myself those kinds of questions and am very glad that my fellow humans do, too!:001_smile: But still, I am governed mostly by my own law of "do the right thing simply because it's right".

[E_Edgerton]

I have to agree with a previous poster. I simply believe it is just easier to do the right thing. When something is both easy and right...its a win-win!

[Lovedtodeath]

My main reason is that if I do the wrong thing I feel bad, cannot pray because of my guilt, and then my whole life suffers the lack of a good relationship with my God. I get irritable and severely depressed. It did take me a while to figure this out, I must say.

 

I agree with the following as well.

 

I do the right thing because I can put myself in someone else's shoes.

[Sunny]

After thinking a bit, I guess I do the right thing because it is a satisfying choice. I know what God commands of me, and that is probably written on my heart. But I always have the choice to do wrongly yet it feels so good to put a smile on someone else's face. It makes me happy and it is alot less stressful and more pleasant to spread goodness around than it is to spread evil.

 

Of course, choosing rightly isn't always a happy choice, but usually it flows that way.

[Haiku]

I do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. I am not Christian and, although I do follow a religion, I don't believe in any god(s). I am human and I have the capacity to think and consider how my actions affect others, so I do.

 

I was raised in a family that believes in service to others, so I am sure that affected my view, but when I am asked (more frequently than you would imagine) how I can have a moral code when I am not a Christian/don't believe in god, I say, "I do the right thing because it's the right thing to do."

 

Tara

[vmsurbat]

Why wouldn't you do the "right" thing?

 

The difficulty (I can almost hear Pooh discussing this) is what is "right"?

 

I think Kalanamak has really tossed out the real issue: Just what do we consider "right?" That comes from lots of different influences, many of which start out when we are very young and unaware of the influences being made upon us and in us.

 

We (Americans) live in another culture (The Balkans) and many people here wouldn't consider it wrong to not call back and keep the extra money. Neither would they feel the least bit guilty. In fact, they would be quite pleased to have come out ahead.

 

We see a lot of social instances/behaviour that would be considered "wrong" in the States which just aren't seen that way here. "Not nice", sometimes, but "wrong?" No way.

[6packofun]

Because it's a way to love others and God tells me to do that.

[LBC]

I think Kalanamak has really tossed out the real issue: Just what do we consider "right?" That comes from lots of different influences, many of which start out when we are very young and unaware of the influences being made upon us and in us.

 

We (Americans) live in another culture (The Balkans) and many people here wouldn't consider it wrong to not call back and keep the extra money. Neither would they feel the least bit guilty. In fact, they would be quite pleased to have come out ahead.

 

We see a lot of social instances/behavior that would be considered "wrong" in the States which just aren't seen that way here. "Not nice", sometimes, but "wrong?" No way.

 

:iagree:

This is so true. As I've been reading the responses to my original question, I've been struck by how our culture has impacted our idea of right and wrong. Even those who don't believe in God/god are still impacted by our western culture, which has been strongly influenced by some sort of Christian world view. I know there are cultures in the world that highly value deception and getting "one up" on the other guy. I doubt they would think honesty was the "right thing" unless it somehow helped to accomplish what they value.

 

Hmm... much food for thought.

 

Lori