Feeling guilty about utilizing our caller id...

[Guest kacifl]

Is it deceitful when you don't answer the phone? And what am I teaching my children? I don't stay up worrying about it, but thought it makes interesting cocktail conversation.

[Chris in VA]

How could it possibly be deceitful?

A phone call is an "invite yourself to my home" deal--I get to choose who comes in--it's my house!

[OnTheBrink]

How is it deceitful?

 

And, I control the phone; it doesn't control me. Meaning, I answer it when it's convenient for me to do so; hence my having caller ID and voicemail.

 

I'm teaching my dd that she doesn't have to jump when a bell rings. LOL

[jensway]

No I don't think it is wrong. Just because the phone or the doorbell rings does not mean that they have to be answered.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Oh yes, I have no problems with it at all! My phone is for my convenience and if I'm busy or just don't feel like it, it's my choice. It drives people nuts though! LOL It's really quite funny. There are sometimes people at our house and we choose to ignore the phone because we are hanging out with them. You can actually see them squirming for someone to answer the phone! It's great.

 

As for as the kiddos go, I think it teaches them priorities. My life doesn't rotate around who is calling my phone and who leaves a message "telling" me to call them back.

[Ria]

I guess it depends. Are you refusing to answer sales calls, or calls from your mother?

 

LOL

 

Ria

[Diana in OR]

No way. I've tried to teach my dc that you don't *have* to jump up and answer the phone every time it rings. If it's not convenient, don't answer it.

[Jen500]

How is it deceitful?

 

And, I control the phone; it doesn't control me. Meaning, I answer it when it's convenient for me to do so; hence my having caller ID and voicemail.

 

I'm teaching my dd that she doesn't have to jump when a bell rings. LOL

 

:iagree:

And I actually answer the phone more w/caller ID than when I didn't have the feature.

[ereks mom]

How could it possibly be deceitful?

A phone call is an "invite yourself to my home" deal--I get to choose who comes in--it's my house!

 

:iagree:

[Greta]

Without caller id, I would not answer my phone at all. Seriously. I would let everyone who calls me leave a message so that *I* could then decide if it was worth my time to call them back. That's why I like email so much. It's on MY terms! :D I just have too much going on in my life to have to jump every time the phone rings. And I want some peace and a feeling of centeredness (is that a real word?) when I'm at home. I don't feel obligated to drop what I'm doing just because someone calls.

[hornblower]

We're another home where bells are ignored. I hardly ever answer the phone. I don't have caller ID because I'm too cheap & our phone plan doesn't include it so I use my old trusty answering machine. Close friends & relatives just announce themselves & keep talking for a bit in case I can get to the phone & it's convenient to answer. They know I'm call screening & if I don't answer, it's because it's not a good time. My inlaws HATE this system

 

I turn the answering machine volume & ringer off on the house phone completely during schoolwork. My cell is always on for emergencies & only a handful of people have that # so if that rings I answer because it only rings when it's important.

 

I think it teaches kids time management & to be in charge of their day, instead of constantly reacting to others.

[E_Edgerton]

I think there is nothing wrong with utilizing caller ID. I don't really use it to ignore people when they call, but if say, my Mother is calling and I am on my way out the door....I know she would feel like I was not making time for her, she would be offended. So, I choose to let her leave a voicemail and then I get back to her when I have enough time to truly "give" her. I think I use it for that reason most of the time.

[Scarlett]

Is it deceitful when you don't answer the phone? And what am I teaching my children? I don't stay up worrying about it, but thought it makes interesting cocktail conversation.

 

 

No way is it deceitful. It is your home, your phone and if you should be allowed to answer it at your convenience! I don't answer the phone all of the time....if I'm on my cell and the other phone rings, I tell ds, 'don't answer that!' I don't want to have to deal with 2 phone calls at once!:tongue_smilie: And if we are doing school and the phone rings, I tell ds to check it and if it is the neighbor, who I know wants to come over and play, I will tell him not to answer. The neighbor knows we are here....they can see our car...shrug. I am not trying to hide or lie....

[Frontier Mom]

That's exactly why I subscribe to voice mail through AT&T. It has a feature where all calls go to voicemail when the line is busy. I simply take the phone off the hook during school hours and check my messages during lunch and after school. No ringing phone means no interruptions - well from outsiders anyway.

 

My kiddos were constantly jumping up to see who was calling and it was just plain disruptive whether we answered the call or not. Now, I don't even know anyone called and my dh knows to email me with any emergency or he simply comes home.

[PollyOR]

Even with caller ID my kids would pounce on the phone. Now I've trained them to NOT answer the phone until I've checked the caller ID and said it is okay. It drives my social butterfly (10 yodd) crazy!

 

The way I see it, I pay for the service (phone) and I can use it any way I see fit. It irks me that people feel that they should have the right to interrupt my life whenever they feel like it. I tell my kids that if it is important the caller will leave a message. They rarely do.

 

It's your life. Take control! :D

[~Sunny~]

When I had caller id I did this a few times. I got rid of it a couple years ago. We just have the basic local line. No long distance plan (can call long distance just no plan) since our cell phones have tons of minutes that we don't use and free long distance we use them.

[readwithem]

Oh yes, I have no problems with it at all! My phone is for my convenience and if I'm busy or just don't feel like it, it's my choice. It drives people nuts though! LOL It's really quite funny. There are sometimes people at our house and we choose to ignore the phone because we are hanging out with them. You can actually see them squirming for someone to answer the phone! It's great.

 

As for as the kiddos go, I think it teaches them priorities. My life doesn't rotate around who is calling my phone and who leaves a message "telling" me to call them back.

 

When that happens, we turn off the ringer :) No sense in watching them squirm. :)

[Another Lynn]

Is it deceitful because your answering machine says you're not home right now? then change it to say you can't come to the phone right now. That's the only reason I can imagine it being deceitful. I agree with other responses - a ringing phone or doorbell does not obligate you to answer. Let the caller id and answering machine be your secretary - you are a busy executive!

[MommyX8]

I use my Caller ID and my answering machine. If I want to pick it up, I will. If it comes through as unknown, or an 800 number, I'll let it go to machine. Typically I don't get any messages when that happens, so it wasn't worth my answering the phone to begin with.

[Miss Sherry]

People who have called me know that I don't answer the phone when I am busy or just don't want to. People that have visited think it's funny when our phone rings and there are 6 or more people in the house and the phone just keeps ringing and no one answers it.

 

I'm so grateful to whoever thought of making answering and message machines for phones. LOL

[stripe]

I agree that there is only "deceit" if you somehow suggest to people that you're not home, instead of that you're busy, and it is bad if you consistently avoid particular people such as a neighbor or a relative instead of dealing with them. To delay phone conversations to a convenient time seems smart to me. This teaches your children to prioritize, and considering that you homeschool, you're demonstrating that they are a priority. Both of which are good things.

[hmschtrio5]

I don't think it's deceitful at all. As far as I'm concerned, it's a healthy boundary. I was one who resisted getting a cell phone for the longest time because I value my quiet time, especially in the car in the few times I am alone, and don't feel the need to be at everyone's beck and call..........no pun intended:001_smile: Then I realised I didn't HAVE to answer my phone and could get back to people when it was convenient and could give them the time they deserved.

 

As for teaching the kids? I believe that it teaches mine to have boundaries and that you don't drop what you're doing because someone has called. Can you imagine how many dinners would be interupted if we answered every phone call during our meals? What message would that send to our kids? "Hang on kids, I have something more pressing than you."

 

Then there are people who think because you home school, you are available to chit chat anytime. As time has passed, people have learned that that is not true and have come to respect my boundary.

 

Using my caller id has never ruined any of my relationships. In a way, it actually might have helped because I set the time aside to return calls and whoever I'm talking to has all ears.:bigear:

 

HTH

[Audrey]

If it's a number I recognize, I'll pick it up. If not, they can leave a message. If they don't want to leave a message, it must not have been that important anyway.

 

But honestly, most of the calls we get are "unknown" or 800 numbers :001_rolleyes: talk about deceitful --- those telemarketers are the WORST!

[sassenach]

I guess it depends. Are you refusing to answer sales calls, or calls from your mother?

 

LOL

 

Ria

 

Do MILs count? If so, I'm definitely in trouble....

[Guest kacifl]

We will change our answering machine to 'We aren't available at this time"... that wil make me feel better.

[mrsdash]

I think of caller ID as I do the peep hole in my front door. I'm just looking before I decide to open it or answer it. The phone is for my convienience in my home, not for anyone who wants to intrude at will. I can't stand the phone, lol.

[sweetTN]

If I didn't use caller ID we would never finish school at a reasonable time. We have a feature called "do not disturb" on our phone. If you are calling you will go straight to the answering machine, but the screen on the phone lights up with the caller ID so I know someone is calling and I have the option of answering....but the phone never rings! I love my phone!

[Ellie]

You're teaching your dc that it is your home and that you have a right to decide who gets to enter and when. You are not obligated to invite everyone in who knocks.

 

Back in the day many people had servants who answered the door. If the homeowner didn't wish to speak to anyone, the servant would say that "Madam is not home to visitors." People understood this.

 

Think of caller ID as your butler.

 

And FTR, when you answer your phone, it is not necessary for you to announce who you are; it is up to the caller to identify himself. Thought I'd throw that in there.:D

[Tammyla]

Screening calls is what caller id is for. When answering machines were the only option, my family knew just how to get through..."It's me, pick up the phone, Tammy.":D

 

Our message simply asks the caller to leave a message.

[CalicoKat]

no. But I do understand feeling guilty. I muted the ringer on our home phone and put my cell phone on vibrate. It helps to not hear it ring.

[tibbyl]

Is it deceitful when you don't answer the phone? And what am I teaching my children? I don't stay up worrying about it, but thought it makes interesting cocktail conversation.

 

We have it only because it was part of a more economical package and have had it only a few years now. We do not use it as a screening device; if we are home and available, we answer the phone. We do not have people in our lives that we do not wish to hear from.

 

I have noticed that since caller ID is common, people tend not to leave messages on home phones as readily as before. Also I've noticed that people tend to not listen to voice mails but just return call when they check their caller ID.

 

To answer your question, I believe that it can be deceitful by omission because it can enable one to passively ignore a problem instead of tackling it. It allows one to screen and ignore calls from people one has issues with instead of directly confronting and honestly communicating with the people to either resolve issues or to tell them to cease contact.

 

Obviously, if one avoids call and then later lies to a personal acquaintance about not having been home, that is actively deceitful.

 

It is effective for dealing with unsolicited sales calls, and that would not fall within the realm of deceitful. Of course, signing up for the national Do Not Call Registry is an effective tool to reduce unwanted marketing calls.