Teens and vehicle fuel

[Scarlett]

If you have a teen still in school how much of their vehicle gas do you buy?

 

I have been paying 100% but I just calculated a months worth....he is spending over $120 in gas...I calculated all the places he has to go (including work) and I came up with about $67.  He runs up and down the road all of the time. Is it unreasonable of me to tell him I will reimburse him for $20 per week and the rest is on him?

 

We are really struggling with the line between child/adult, my responsibilities vs his wants.

[Catwoman]

I would pay for the gas. He's still young and he's not making much money.

Edited May 3, 2017 by Catwoman

[fairfarmhand]

If you want to pay for his necessity driving, go ahead, but I found that my dd was way more thoughtful about where she was going when she had to pony up for fuel.

 

So yes, she pays for her own. Always has.

[J-rap]

We paid through high school if it was for typical stuff... going to school, job, athletic events, special events with friends, etc.  I figured if they weren't driving themselves, I'd be driving them to all of those places.  So I'll still pay for the gas.  I'd just be glad that I didn't have to drive them to all those places myself!

 

But if it got to be a lot of extra outside-the-norm stuff, like if they were dragging Main every Friday and Saturday night for hours (that's honestly what we did in high school in the 70's! :)), then I'd talk to them about it and ask them to contribute something.

 

Of course in different families it's different.  If a family cannot afford to pay the gas, then the teen must contribute and that's just the way it is.  

[Pawz4me]

We cover everything until our boys graduate from college -- a vehicle, fuel, insurance, maintenance.

 

Edited to add: Ours never had the time or desire to do a ton of driving around "just because." If he's doing that then I don't think it's wrong to not cover all his gas. To/from school or a part-time job and a little for going out with friends . . . yes.

Edited May 3, 2017 by Pawz4me

[Wheres Toto]

We paid for all the gas for my oldest unless she was taking a really long personal trip.  She occasionally drove down to South Jersey (had friends at TCNJ) or to the shore.  She drove to Florida on a Spring Break trip.   We had her pay for the gas in those cases, usually she was collecting at least some gas money from other friends going along.

 

We handled it that way until she graduated from college. 

[regentrude]

We pay for gas to get to school and sports and stuff around town. DS pays when he travels out of town for fun.

I am just so grateful I no longer have to drive him the 100 miles to the city to train.

 

[clementine]

We pay for their gas.

[Okra]

We are also a family that pays for gas.

[Scarlett]

Well I'm really torn. I can afford it right now. But it feels like he has no concept of how much gas he is using. His dad bought him the car out right, his dad pays his insurance, I pay his tolls and all of his gas.

[NorthwestMom]

We cover everything until our boys graduate from college -- a vehicle, fuel, insurance, maintenance.

 

Edited to add: Ours never had the time or desire to do a ton of driving around "just because." If he's doing that then I don't think it's wrong to not cover all his gas. To/from school or a part-time job and a little for going out with friends . . . yes.

 

We do too. I know it's a privileged position, though.

[Scarlett]

But that is a good point that I don't have to drive him anywhere.

[Butter]

On the rare occasions my 17-year-old drives one of our cars, we pay for the gas because it's just a tiny bit compared to the amount used when my husband or I drive them.  She pays for all the gas in her car.  She also pays for insurance, registration, and all other costs of maintaining her car (as well as the car itself - she bought it herself).  She's got a very well-paying job, though.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Well I'm really torn. I can afford it right now. But it feels like he has no concept of how much gas he is using. His dad bought him the car out right, his dad pays his insurance, I pay his tolls and all of his gas.

 

You could give him X number of dollars (based on his average usage) for fuel and let him budget accordingly.

 

But honestly, most families I am familiar with pay for it all too. At least while the kids are in school.

[Shellydon]

I think it is fine to pick an amount and he covers the rest. 

[Melissa B]

We don't pay for any. We supply our dds with a car, which they share, and pay the insurance and upkeep. They are responsible for all of the gas.

Edited May 3, 2017 by Melissa B

[HTRMom]

I think it makes sense to give him a fixed allowance you are comfortable with that includes gas. If he wants to spend the money driving, that's his choice.

 

 

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[Kassia]

We paid for to/from school, sports, etc.  For jobs, I think we had them pay for the gas since they were using the vehicle to earn their own money.  We paid for insurance and they shared the family vehicles until they were ready to purchase their own.  

[SparklyUnicorn]

I wouldn't be willing to pay for joy riding so I think the $20 per week idea is fair.  If something comes up and he NEEDS more (not for joy riding) then give him more. 

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

And from my perspective this is insanely generous and luxurious.  I didn't get so much as a couple of bucks for ANYTHING at that age.

 

 

[Scarlett]

And as a sidenote we are going through a lot of "treat me like the adult that I almost am". And resistance to doing anything I ask... normal things for milestones like senior pictures or planning for a graduation party.

 

We are going to have another one driving soon. He should get his license in July that we do not have a car for him yet. The younger one will carpool with the older one when they start back to vo-tech in August . I'm thinking about doing a fixed amount now and then adding something to that in August for him using his car for driving the younger one.

[Scarlett]

And from my perspective this is insanely generous and luxurious. I didn't get so much as a couple of bucks for ANYTHING at that age.

 

I know right? Me either . I would just like him to feel a little bit of the consequences of how he spends money

[dirty ethel rackham]

Until they graduate college or have a good job, we pay for their necessary driving.  If they have a lot of recreational things they want to go to, then they can come up with the gas for that.  If they do something stupid that increases our insurance, they have to pay for that increase. 

 

I had planned to be much more hard-lined on this stuff, but I had to push my older kids out of the house to do things so making them pay for gas was counter productive.  They would have just stayed home. 

 

With dd, she is very appreciative and is not in a position where she can work that much.  She is hoping to get a job for the summer.  She has a few options lined up.  Ideally would be part-time for our local special recreation district working one-on-one with special needs kids.  This would be very schedule friendly, allowing her to train for her upcoming big competitions and perhaps do an all summer cross-country camp which would be good cross training for her.  Her other option would be for her to help with the day-camp at the climbing gym.  It is farther away and there will be higher transportation costs and she wouldn't be able to do the running camp. 

[JudoMom]

Well, we pay for gas (because I'd be driving him otherwise), but he pays for the increase in our insurance.  And he doesn't have his own car (he drives my van).  He's saving for a car. 

In your situation, I'd have no problem having him contribute to the gasoline bill.

[shawthorne44]

And from my perspective this is insanely generous and luxurious.  I didn't get so much as a couple of bucks for ANYTHING at that age.

 

My parents paid for half of a car and insurance for the first year.  

 

Although, back in the dark ages, driving your own car was a huge privilege and status symbol.   I hear that kids these days are happy to not drive and just stay home.   So, if it took my paying for more to motivate my child to drive themselves I'd do it.  

[Plateau Mama]

We pay for her gas, insurance and necessary repairs. Outside of school/work/sports she doesn't drive many other places. Now the she is driving i drove less than halfof what i drove the previous year. Factoring in the miles on her car its still 7000 miles less. So I fugire im saving a lot on gas, not to mention time. I have gotten my weekends back, plus i dont have to drive/pickup from school and i gained another 10 or so hours during the week not having to drive her to practice and wait around for her.

[Wheres Toto]

But that is a good point that I don't have to drive him anywhere.

 

This is the main reason we got dd a car her junior year.  Having to haul the littler kids out every single night of the week to take her to dance 45 minutes away in rush hour traffic.  They often fell asleep just from being in the car that long, so wouldn't be ready for bed on time.  Then I'd have to go back out at 9pm to pick her up.  She also worked there so it was 6 days a week.

[Scarlett]

This is the main reason we got dd a car her junior year.  Having to haul the littler kids out every single night of the week to take her to dance 45 minutes away in rush hour traffic.  They often fell asleep just from being in the car that long, so wouldn't be ready for bed on time.  Then I'd have to go back out at 9pm to pick her up.  She also worked there so it was 6 days a week.

 

 

I hear ya.  Ds got a car before he even had his license because it was part of the divorce agreement between xh and me.  He didn't need one that soon of course....but a year later he started Votech 5 days a week 30 minutes from our house.  No way we could have pulled that off if he had not had his own car.  But I am still thinking that really has nothing to do with helping him be accountable for a portion of the gas he uses.

[regentrude]

But I am still thinking that really has nothing to do with helping him be accountable for a portion of the gas he uses.

 

Really, it does not matter what we all do. You can simply estimate what he should use for necessary trips, pay for that, and make him pay for anything he uses above that. The fact that some of us do pay for gas does not mean you have to. Most certainly not if the expense is a hardship for your family.

Edited May 3, 2017 by regentrude

[Cinder]

We give an allowance based on mileage to school/work and add a bit more so ds can drive up to the state park where he likes to run. If his adventures take him beyond that he has to make up the difference. Mostly he gets together with his friends after classes (college) so it's not hard for him to stay within his allowance.

[Pawz4me]

And as a sidenote we are going through a lot of "treat me like the adult that I almost am". And resistance to doing anything I ask... normal things for milestones like senior pictures or planning for a graduation party.

 

We are going to have another one driving soon. He should get his license in July that we do not have a car for him yet. The younger one will carpool with the older one when they start back to vo-tech in August . I'm thinking about doing a fixed amount now and then adding something to that in August for him using his car for driving the younger one.

 

I think your plan makes sense.

[Scarlett]

Really, it does not matter what we all do. You can simply estimate what he should use for necessary trips, pay for that, and make him pay for anything he uses above that. The fact that some of us do pay for gas does not mean you have to. Most certainly not if the expense is a hardship for your family.

 

 

I know I can do what I want.  I am just bouncing ideas around trying to make sure I am being reasonable for our circumstances.

[Guest]

We bought a gas card at the beginning of each month which paid for the gas to get to school and back, job and back, church and back, and a friend's house and back at least 4 times a week.  After that, he was on his own.  That said, he also had a bit of money from his job, so it wasn't just a futile gesture where he spent all the gas money and then we ended up buying it anyway so he could get to school and his job.  :0)

[SparklyUnicorn]

My parents paid for half of a car and insurance for the first year.  

 

Although, back in the dark ages, driving your own car was a huge privilege and status symbol.   I hear that kids these days are happy to not drive and just stay home.   So, if it took my paying for more to motivate my child to drive themselves I'd do it.  

 

I didn't drive until I was 23 and graduated from college.  I absolutely could not afford to.

[Scarlett]

We bought a gas card at the beginning of each month which paid for the gas to get to school and back, job and back, church and back, and a friend's house and back at least 4 times a week.  After that, he was on his own.  That said, he also had a bit of money from his job, so it wasn't just a futile gesture where he spent all the gas money and then we ended up buying it anyway so he could get to school and his job.  :0)

 

 

Yes, he has his own money from his job.  He makes about $100 a week and saves half, so he isn't totally wasteful...but he spends a lot on eating out.  Well, basically $50 per week on food with friends. 

[Tap]

I figure that about 10-20% of dd17s running around is personal use, the rest was for her school/sports.

 

We live right by a Costco, so I buy a $50 gift card and she pays me $10 for it.  If she doesn't plan ahead and buy gas at Costco, then it is on her to pay for it.  Her car gets 40mpg so even $5 of diesel will get her quite a distance.   This method works really, really well for us. I usually leave the gift card on the fridge for her and she replaces it with money and then I know it is time to buy a new one.

 

If she is using the car for more personal trips, she just adds some extra money when she 'buys' the gift card from me. I don't really monitor it and don't expect her to add $1-2, but she is very honest so if she takes a road trip she will add enough to cover that or just pay to add some to her tank on her own dime at the same time.  She is usually the driver with her friend group, so she will also ask them to chip in a few $$ when they drive anywhere over a hour away.

 

 

BTW.....if you have a Costco gift card, you can use it on the fuel pumps without a membership card. :0) DD works so she has her own debit card, keeps a $20 stashed in her car, and also carries one of my cards.  She is never without a way to pay for fuel in an emergency, so I don't worry about making her commit to buying gas at Costco (if she wants me to pay for it).

Edited May 3, 2017 by Tap

[Scarlett]

I figure that about 10-20% of dd17s running around is personal use, the rest was for her school/sports.

 

We live right by a Costco, so I buy a $50 gift card and she pays me $10 for it.  If she doesn't plan ahead and buy gas at Costco, then it is on her to pay for it.  Her car gets 40mpg so even $5 of diesel will get her quite a distance.   This method works really, really well for us. I usually leave the gift card on the fridge for her and she replaces it with money and then I know it is time to buy a new one.

 

If she is using the car for more persona trips, she just adds some extra money when she 'buys the gift card from me'. I don't really monitor it and don't expect her to add $1-2, but she is very honest so if she takes a road trip she will add enough to cover that or just pay to add some to her tank on her own dime at the same time.  She is usually the driver with her friend group, so she will also ask them to chip in a few $$ when they drive anywhere over a hour away.

 

 

BTW.....if you have a Costco gift card, you can use it on the fuel pumps without a membership card. :0) DD works so she has her own debit card, keeps a $20 stashed in her car, and also carries one of my cards.  She is never without a way to pay for fuel in an emergency, so I don't worry about making her commit to buying gas at Costco (if she wants me to pay for it).

 

 

Ds17 has a debit card and his own accounts (saving and checking) at the place where I bank.  I can easily transfer money to him anytime to reimburse.  That part works well.  He doesn't have access to his savings for now...debit card has no overdraft protection on it. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Ds17 has a debit card and his own accounts (saving and checking) at the place where I bank.  I can easily transfer money to him anytime to reimburse.  That part works well.  He doesn't have access to his savings for now...debit card has no overdraft protection on it. 

 

Maybe this is a state by state regulation, but here I can opt to not allow something to overdraft.  So it's no longer left to the discretion of the bank if I tell them I don't want to allow overdrafts. 

[Tap]

Ds17 has a debit card and his own accounts (saving and checking) at the place where I bank.  I can easily transfer money to him anytime to reimburse.  That part works well.  He doesn't have access to his savings for now...debit card has no overdraft protection on it. 

We have tired this as well.  It got confusing sometimes to keep track of when I gave her money and what it was for. We could check the log, but her banks interface isn't a great one to check that information on.  That is when we started with the gift cards.  It made it very clear on what money was fuel...and what was for other things.  Eventually, I just gave her one of my cards and now she uses that for everything I would normally pay for.  For us, it is much easier but that relies on the fact that she is very honest.

[Scarlett]

Maybe this is a state by state regulation, but here I can opt to not allow something to overdraft.  So it's no longer left to the discretion of the bank if I tell them I don't want to allow overdrafts. 

 

 

Yes, this is what I meant. If he has no money his card will be declined. That was my choice. 

[Scarlett]

We have tired this as well.  It got confusing sometimes to keep track of when I gave her money and what it was for. We could check the log, but her banks interface isn't a great one to check that information on.  That is when we started with the gift cards.  It made it very clear on what money was fuel...and what was for other things.  Eventually, I just gave her one of my cards and now she uses that for everything I would normally pay for.  For us, it is much easier but that relies on the fact that she is very honest.

 

 

It does get confusing I agree.  I keep a log at home and I do reimbursements when he and I get paid (we work for the same employer)....

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yes, this is what I meant. If he has no money his card will be declined. That was my choice. 

 

Ah ok!

 

Should be that way anyway.  They do one no favors by "lending" them the money!

[Scarlett]

Ah ok!

 

Should be that way anyway.  They do one no favors by "lending" them the money!

 

 

Right and charging $27 fee for each 'loan'.

[Guest]

Yes, he has his own money from his job.  He makes about $100 a week and saves half, so he isn't totally wasteful...but he spends a lot on eating out.  Well, basically $50 per week on food with friends. 

 

Scarlett, we are not so far off in the realities of the situation.  My son is 21 and living at home because he is part of a software startup that is not yet making money.  It is a good product and we hope he will make it big. He gets a stipend of $125 a week. He pays no rent.  

 

I don't know many people who have $500 a month to just spend however they please.  And it bothered me a great deal that this was the picture my son was getting of his life.  So gradually, we have been turning over to him his non-rent living expenses.  He buys his gas.  We are turning over the car to him and he will pay insurance.  We keep him on our cell plan for now, but it is at the point where he can get his own account for $10 more a month than we pay, and he will be doing that soon (or paying us for his portion.). He buys his own food, pays for his entertainment (and takes his gal on dates).  He buys his own clothes.

 

That said, he still seems to have a lot of money for record albums and other things, and I'm not opposed to that, either.  But to think that he has $500 to spend completely irresponsibly--nope.  It is setting him up for a very rude awakening when he moves out (which we hope will be by the end of this year).

 

He has become a LOT more thrifty since we made these changes, by the way.  He shops really well, he doesn't have to have the BEST of something that will be outdated in 6 months anyway and cost the earth in the meantime...  A bit of late blooming, but blooming at last.

[goldberry]

We pay for gas because DD isn't working yet.  She will work after school is out.  Yes, she does drive frivolously. If I had to do over,  I would set a max amount to cover.  But we're almost done, so.... it is what it is.  I know that she will face the gas/benefit issue when the time comes.

 

 

[Scarlett]

Scarlett, we are not so far off in the realities of the situation.  My son is 21 and living at home because he is part of a software startup that is not yet making money.  It is a good product and we hope he will make it big. He gets a stipend of $125 a week. He pays no rent.  

 

I don't know many people who have $500 a month to just spend however they please.  And it bothered me a great deal that this was the picture my son was getting of his life.  So gradually, we have been turning over to him his non-rent living expenses.  He buys his gas.  We are turning over the car to him and he will pay insurance.  We keep him on our cell plan for now, but it is at the point where he can get his own account for $10 more a month than we pay, and he will be doing that soon (or paying us for his portion.). He buys his own food, pays for his entertainment (and takes his gal on dates).  He buys his own clothes.

 

That said, he still seems to have a lot of money for record albums and other things, and I'm not opposed to that, either.  But to think that he has $500 to spend completely irresponsibly--nope.  It is setting him up for a very rude awakening when he moves out (which we hope will be by the end of this year).

 

He has become a LOT more thrifty since we made these changes, by the way.  He shops really well, he doesn't have to have the BEST of something that will be outdated in 6 months anyway and cost the earth in the meantime...  A bit of late blooming, but blooming at last.

 

 

Yes, to the bolded.  That is what is bugging me.  Thus my thinking of limiting what I give for gas.    I am pretty sure I am going to go that route.  Give him $20 per week and the rest is on him.

[goldberry]

Yes, to the bolded.  That is what is bugging me.  Thus my thinking of limiting what I give for gas.    I am pretty sure I am going to go that route.  Give him $20 per week and the rest is on him.

 

You're lucky!  We live rural and she drives to town for dual enrollment.  $35-40 covers the bare minimum here.  

[Scarlett]

We pay for gas because DD isn't working yet.  She will work after school is out.  Yes, she does drive frivolously. If I had to do over,  I would set a max amount to cover.  But we're almost done, so.... it is what it is.  I know that she will face the gas/benefit issue when the time comes.

 

 

It is hard with these onlies because I have been use to just doing everything for him.  I did crack down on the eating out....he has got to where he never wants to eat out with us as a family...like on Sundays he runs off with his friends.  Which is fine, but if he doesn't want to eat with me I am not paying.  :) 

 

Now I don't have an only any more...dss16 is right behind him in all this stuff...so I am trying to think ahead and set some ground rules.

[Scarlett]

You're lucky!  We live rural and she drives to town for dual enrollment.  $35-40 covers the bare minimum here.  

 

 

We are rural too.  He drives 422 miles per week for school/work/religious services.  But he drives a Prius.  ;)

[whitestavern]

My dd pays for her insurance and her gas.