I like the idea of trying to redirect to things that are not language arts and math, but can still be mentally stimulating, like science, cultures, hobbies, etc. I can’t just let him “be a kid and play all day,” he has such a drive to learn! Of course he can learn and play, but you know what I mean. He loves learning Spanish words, as one of his teachers at preschool is Mexican. Maybe I could be more intentional about that. And he’s very mechanically oriented, and loves learning science too, so I’ll hold off on buying math workbooks and do more of that stuff until/unless he insists on math. I think I’ll continue our reading lessons, anyway. Reading will be such a boon for his curiosity and imagination. Plus, I’m having too much fun watching him learn to quit! Surely a kid who reads fluently could be allowed to read quietly during reading lessons. At least you would hope.

Thank you! If I understand you correctly, are you saying that you would let him learn at his own pace and expect that he will likely need to be homeschooled until at least third grade? This is a good idea I hadn't thought of. I am interested in long-term homeschooling, I just don't want to commit to it at this stage and burn my bridges as far as successfully integrating into public school, if he goes crazy being at home too much or needs that more structured environment. Was well-rounded kindergarten for you at age 4 or 5? It seems like my options are to decide to homeschool Kinder this upcoming year with the option of trying for first grade the following year, or to keep him in preschool this year and homeschool "Kindergarten" the following year with the option of trying for second grade after that, if he's not too far ahead. My intent was to go from 4-day preschool this year to 2-day next year, testing the homeschooling waters the other 2-3 days, so I'll probably stick with that plan and hope it doesn't go badly, since we'll be more or less stuck with it for the Kindergarten year after that! Unless the private school turns out to be a viable option.

I have a 4yo (4y5m) who I think is certainly gifted, likely highly gifted. I started doing Phonics with him a couple months ago and he has made quick progress, working ~20 minutes per day when he feels like it. Yesterday when he spontaneously spelled the word “igloo” with some wooden letters, and a simple 4-word sentence, I thought, he’s definitely going to be too advanced for kindergarten when he would start by age in 1.5 years! Our state does not permit early entry to kindergarten. A child who does K in a private school at 4 can enter public school the following year in grade 1, though. (Ridiculous favoritism of kids with money! Fortunately, we do have the money for private school if we choose.) A student homeschooled for K at 4 would be placed into K initially and evaluated for moving to grade 1 during the first few weeks, but it’s very subjective. No student can advance to grade 1 without completing a full year of K, regardless of ability, according to policy. I am leaning toward homeschooling, but I would prefer to keep my options open with public schooling until I see whether it’s a good fit for his temperament. So I am concerned about his advancing more than a year beyond age-grade level. On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to hold him back just for the purpose of conforming him to the system. And as reading progress snowballs, we may be getting to a point of no return, if that makes sense. There is only one small private Montessori in town through grade 6, no other private schools. I don’t know whether it is a good fit for gifted children or not. He has been in preschool for two years. He seems to be socially average and happily plays with boys his own age in a mixed-age classroom. So I don’t know whether he would succeed being accelerated at a young age, especially with a school that seems to be prejudiced against it. I thought that gifted testing might help me decide, but the first place I called doesn’t do testing until 5.5 years old. I have to commit to some extent to doing K or not doing it, because if he is enrolled in preschool, he will not be eligible for skipping to grade 1 the following year, even if he completes a full K curriculum, at least as I read the policies. He’s been going to school because he is a high-stimulation child, the oldest of 3 young children, and does not do well being home day after day. So I would have to commit to more outings with 3 under 5, and still fit kindergarten lessons in. And try to make sure he gets time with same-age peers to ensure age-appropriate social skills. Either way, I am planning to start the middle child, 3 years old, in preschool in the fall, which will help me have more time to focus on learning activities with my oldest. He loves doing learning activities with me and would do much more if I had the one-on-one time with him, so I’m not worried about pushing him. Do you have any advice?

Thanks for the advice, everyone. Sounds like a couple of you have setups similar to what I'm envisioning, so I appreciate your comments! Good/bad to know about Memoria Press Cottage...

You can definitely self-study. My physics and calculus AP classes in high school were terrible and I studied myself from a textbook and then the “5 Steps to a 5†test prep books, which were excellent. That was 10 years ago, I don’t know if they’ve changed the tests dramatically since then. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I know I must sound so dense, but I really just don’t understand where I would start to find something like a behaviorist or therapist of any kind for him. I asked at the pediatrician’s office. It took her weeks to get back to me with the name of this one pediatric psychologist who had just moved into town and immediately moved away. Seriously, if anyone is willing to spend 5-10 minutes to poke around and see if there’s anyone you would try in my area, message me and I’ll tell you where I live. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The reason I’ve seen suggested to delay is that being academically advanced makes school boring, and can cause social problems. So if I teach him to read and add numbers now, I’m making it less likely that he would enjoy kindergarten or early elementary, if I don’t end up homeschooling. And given that he’s a difficult child with two close-aged siblings, and that I’ve not tried homeschool yet, I can’t rule out going to school as an option. I think that he does mostly well at school. He isn’t aggressive with other children, only with his family, so it’s probably as much a parenting problem as anything else, but I don’t know how to help him and can’t find anyone to help me help him! The teacher says that he prefers to work independently and is slow to join a group, and that he prefers the older children, but he does play with other children sometimes and is able to do things like serve snack, wait in line, etc. He has not been evaluated by OT. I don’t think that he has SPD. He does have poor gross motor skills for his age, he has never been able to snuggle for more than 5 seconds, and he has an unusually high pain tolerance. I know those are symptoms. He does not have other symptoms like texture issues and has always been a good eater and sleeper. His teacher told me once that she thought he should be evaluated for auditory processing disorder, but then she changed her mind, so... I have that on my radar. He doesn’t seem to have problems with that at home, though is incapable of telling me what sound “ball†starts with, even though he can tell me what sound every letter makes - I assume that’s normal at age 4, but I wonder if it could be an auditory processing symptom too. The same teacher recommended an eval by the public school preschool intervention people, but then said we’d give him some more time first. In short, he has some minor adjustment problems at school but does well in the classroom setting overall. He had great difficulty following instructions his first year there, but he was only two years old. I have heard some bad things about the public preschool where they do therapies. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

And I’m so confused by the world of psychological testing. How do you request a “full eval,†and what things do they test for? Both giftedness and disabilities would be considered? He was seen by a child psychologist a year ago, really because I just wanted advice for parenting a child for whom the usual advice doesn’t seem to work, but she didn’t seem very thorough or systematic and all I got out of that was that he isn’t autistic and needs a lot of structure and predictability. She said that he was likely to have some kind of behavioral diagnosis once he started school, but didn’t meet criteria for diagnosis at age 3. Then she moved across the country. So it’s entirely possible that he will also have ADHD or a conduct disorder or something, besides giftedness, but I don’t even know what evaluation to ask for, or if it would be helpful yet. Hoagies Gifted does not have recommended psychologists in my state. Using Google, I found ONE office 1.5 hours away that lists giftedness testing as a service. I don’t know anything about how good they are. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Another parent told me that early admission to Kindergarten would require gifted testing in our state, so that’s what made me think about it. But as I don’t want to put him into public school for K anyway, then maybe there is no purpose at this stage. I have not yet inquired as to whether the school offers gifted testing for preschoolers for the purpose of early kinder entry. He’s been going to preschool since he was 2, because I was pregnant with my third child at that point and he’s very demanding. The social aspect, time away from home, and the structure have been very good for him. He’s not challenged there intellectually. The school doesn’t do letter work until the pre-K year, which is next year for him, and I don’t think they show him the more interested, complex classroom activities available. I think finds the classroom a bit over-stimulating and defaults to the same safe activities over and over. I was thinking if he were officially “gifted,†the teacher might take my suggestion more seriously about offering him more challenging activities, at least some of the time. He really loves doing workbooks and learning games with me and will request flash cards, but I don’t offer those activities much because he already spends the morning at preschool and I think he needs free play time more than he needs to learn to read at age 4, which I’m guessing he would be doing already if he didn’t go to preschool. When it’s time for Kindergarten I plan to take him out of preschool and put the next child in, so that I have a little time to focus on teaching the oldest. I could do that in August, rather than 1.5 years from now, but I’m not sure whether replacing most of his social time with academic intellectual challenge will improve or worsen his behavioral problems. (Mostly aggression toward his 2yo brother.) If a bright young child enjoys letter and number activities, and is likely to quickly learn to read if given the opportunity, should you provide that opportunity and let him decide the pace, or should you wait until he’s a little older to offer, to try to delay his being academically advanced for his age? Aren’t most people saying that early academics are unhealthy nowadays? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m pretty sure my 4yo is gifted. Someone recently suggested that as he has a fall birthday, I should consider asking for early admission to Kindergarten for him. (This fall rather than next fall.) I intend to homeschool, though. Is there a useful purpose for this kind of testing in homeschool, where you try to let each child work at his own level in each area anyway? I’m assuming that the answer is yes, but I would like a solid justification. If so, is there a particular type of test you would recommend at his age? He is especially proficient at problem solving, spatial skills, memory, and deep abstract thinking. He is not reading. If not, would you test a gifted child at some point in a homeschool education? Or never, until another school choice is considered? Is there an Ideal Age for testing?

The new thing I got for my third was a portable hooded bassinet. He slept so well in there in whatever room we went to the first couple months. As an added bonus, mine hooked into our stroller and was much nicer for walks than the bucket car seat. If you formula feed, Baby Brezza is 100 times worth the money. Also one of those dishwasher baskets meant for bottle supplies is really nice and has many uses beyond bottles. A video monitor is a useful extra. I wish I had a swing, but I never had room for one. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

No junk drawer in the house. I do have some office supplies in a drawer with silverware in the kitchen, but it’s organized and I know what’s there. There are junk drawers in the garage. Maybe all the drawers. If anything even makes it as far as a drawer. That’s DH’s domain. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m not as strict about car seat safety as other parents. I would bring a baby bucket seat and let the other two go without. You could bring a small backless booster for the 4yo if you were especially concerned, but the forward-facing seat would suffice for the airport trip. I would be fine with kids riding a bus for 7 miles without car seats, and would wear the baby in a structured carrier. In my state a trip in a taxi situation without a car seat at age 4 would not be illegal, but California has a lot more laws about everything, so maybe it is illegal there. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m noticing this too... Do you think it’s a disadvantage for the youngers that we should correct?

Where will “put away all the stuff family members put all over the place†fit into the daily routines? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk