Do you consider homeschooling your 'job'?

[mycalling]

I do consider it one of my jobs. One aspect of my career as a wife and mom.

[chaik76]

This is interesting. I wonder if hsing moms with less-than-totally-supportive husbands tend to see it as more of a "job" than moms who don't feel as much spousal/familial pressure to prove themselves.

My husband is 100% supportive, and I totally see homeschooling as a job (I also see parenting as a job. Perhaps career would be a better word). Homeschooing is my career.

[teamturner]

Yes, I consider it a job because if I didn't do it then someone else would be doing it. I've taken on this responsibility and I have to view it as a job so I can stay on task. I am also a mom and all that entails as well as the chief cook/housekeeper. So essentially I see that I have 3 jobs that I have to juggle. I think these 3 jobs I have are the most rewarding and I wouldn't trade them for anything!

 

Well....I might be pursuaded to give up the cooking/housekeeping part of this gig but that's it!!! :tongue_smilie:

[Rosy]

Not really. It is a responsibility, and one that I take very seriously, but I don't consider any of my responsibilities as a mom a "job" any more than DH would consider his parenting responsibilities a job. It's a calling and a ministry, both of which are more serious than a job in my opinion.

[Mommy22alyns]

I do consider it my job. I'm also a SAHM - that's my job. My job is taking care of and educating my girls.

 

There's nothing wrong with liking or even loving your job! :001_smile:

[newbie]

Absolutely. It's a full-time job. The pressures were internal until high school, then they became external as well (making sure they were ready for testing, would be competitive in the college of their choice, etc.) When my children were younger, it felt like less of a job and more part of being a mom in the lifestyle that we had chosen as a family. Now, though, it's definitely a job.

 

I have a paying part-time job in addition and it's hard.

 

:iagree: the only difference is I dont have a part time job. I couldnt, this keeps me way too busy.

[FlockOfSillies]

Yeah, personally I think I prefer the words "career" or "vocation." I think they're more descriptive. I just latched onto what Jessica was saying about "external pressures." I think she feels like she's constantly having to prove herself and her hsing methods to people around her who have doubts about hsing.

[mcconnellboys]

Yes, I do consider it my job. No one else places external stressors on me. I do that all by myself. Whenever I do any kind of work, I want it to be done well - up to my expectations. I set goals for myself and strive to achieve them. Likewise, I try to provide meaningful homeschool experiences for others in the community whenever I teach a class, organize a field trip, etc. Like all of life, it doesn't always work out the way I'd like, but I rally and try again, hopefully learning from past mistakes at some point in time, LOL.....

[Guest janainaz]

Some of the best moms I know are working moms. I know plenty of women who would be miserable staying at home. I've known plenty of women who were SAHMs but were miserable and went back to work. I know lots of moms who work because they have to and some because they choose to but don't wish they could be SAHMs - and a couple of those women have children that are homeschooled. Balancing a career and family is 1000 times harder than my own situation and I give serious props to those women who are excelling at it.

 

I have to disagree on that. I don't understand moms choosing to work and I totally disagree with it. I believe with small children, they NEED a mother, not a babysitter. When kids go to school, there should be a mother home when they get home. If a mother works during school hours and can be home for her kids - great. But, I totally disagree with this society and any mother saying she is miserable being home with her kids. Why bother having them if you can't stand being with them?

 

As for moms who have to work, it's a different story.

 

I am not saying there are not "good" mothers who work by choice, but I disagree with mindset entirely. Why someone would choose to balance a career and the ...........rest - I have no clue and I don't feel sorry for them at all and I don't admire it in the least. Editing to add: I'm talking more of a full-time job here. Part time............a few hours out of the house is not a big deal.

Edited October 21, 2008 by janainaz

[6packofun]

Yes, because having that attitude towards homeschooling helps keep me accountable, keep our schooling time a priority and free from (most) interruptions and also keep us on track throughout the year as we set and meet goals, etc.

 

I have to be more structured with homeschooling than I do with most of my other parenting and housewifely duties, so it does help me to look at it as one of my main jobs! It keeps me focused and motivated to give my kids the best education that I can.

[Zelda]

Not in the traditional sense of a job, no. But definitely in the sense that I serve a function and fulfill a role in society that is productive.

[Apiphobic]

Do you consider homeschooling your 'job'? I mean in the traditional sense: expectations to meet, external pressures to perform well, everything except the paycheck and vacation time/sick days, lol.

 

If you don't consider homeschooling a job, why? What would qualify it as a job in your mind?

 

Yes, I consider it my job. Absolutely. Complete with its own set of frustrations and difficulties, but also with some of the most wonderful benefits and rewards.

 

Harder to measure the "value" of the "product" because only time will tell how it all plays out. I'm thinking long-term here. I can see immediate results based upon dc's behavior, test scores, and our relationship, but we'll see how our educational choices and lifestyle influence them when they're out on their own. But it'll also be tied into a lot of our parenting choices, too. So, another reason it'll be difficult to "measure" the "worth" of the "service."

 

Just because I'm not getting paid in the usual currency by an outside source doesn't mean I'm not being rewarded for my "services." But, hey, it's tax-free, so that's another plus! ;)

 

This isn't all about "just being a mom" or "just taking care of my family." There's more at stake here than a happy healthy home life. It's called education. And education is tangible. When dc can take the SAT and/or ACT and score well, that means I've done my job. When I give them their high school diploma, they will have achieved an accomplishment they can take with them wherever they go. When they are able to get into college and get their degree in whichever field they choose, that means I "done good," too. :p

 

Yes, it's a job. It's hard work. And it's worth it.

[Heather in Neverland]

I have to disagree on that. I don't understand moms choosing to work and I totally disagree with it. I believe with small children, they NEED a mother, not a babysitter. When kids go to school, there should be a mother home when they get home. If a mother works during school hours and can be home for her kids - great. But, I totally disagree with this society and any mother saying she is miserable being home with her kids. Why bother having them if you can't stand being with them?

 

As for moms who have to work, it's a different story.

 

I am not saying there are not "good" mothers who work by choice, but I disagree with mindset entirely. Why someone would choose to balance a career and the ...........rest - I have no clue and I don't feel sorry for them at all and I don't admire it in the least. Editing to add: I'm talking more of a full-time job here. Part time............a few hours out of the house is not a big deal.

 

Wow. That's a very hard and unloving attitude. I PROUDLY work outside the home. My children are at home all day with their dad and at home all afternoon and evening with me. Could we go down to one income? Maybe. But I don't want to. I LIKE having a career and my children are growing up with a positive image of a mom who is an educated and ambitious woman but ALSO a caring mom who is SO dedicated to her children that she sacrifices seeing her husband so that they can work opposite shifts and continue homeschooling (but they also see how a loving couple can make something like this work). My children will not be pigeon-holed and will see that the sky is the limit for them if they really want something.

 

Perhaps there are moms who honestly just don't want to be around their kids and I feel sorry for them. My dh and I have NEVER been away from our kids in over 10 years! I am sorry you "disagree with the mindset" that a woman CAN have a career she loves and a happy, healthy, godly family, but you are wrong.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I don't understand moms choosing to work and I totally disagree with it.

 

So you are disagreeing with something you don't understand? Why not take the time to make friends with some career women? Find out what their life is REALLY like before you judge.

 

I believe with small children, they NEED a mother, not a babysitter.

 

When a mother goes to work, she does not give up her role as mother when she leaves her child with a nanny, family member, babysitter, or at daycare.

 

When kids go to school, there should be a mother home when they get home.

 

Where I live, latchkey kids are a thing of the past. Most kids in school whose parents work full time go to after school activities or programs where they do homework, have snacks, and both organized and free play.

 

If a mother works during school hours and can be home for her kids - great. But, I totally disagree with this society and any mother saying she is miserable being home with her kids. Why bother having them if you can't stand being with them?

 

Working mothers are not mothers that can't stand to be with their kids. I know SAHMs who act like they can't stand to be with their kids. Some women are just not the type to be Holly Homemaker. I am one of those women. The only reason I SAH now is because I homeschool. If my dd's needs could be met in one of the local schools, I would be working FT.

 

As for moms who have to work, it's a different story.

 

So a mom who has to work is excused from your bias because she HAS to work. Somehow that mom who has to work can't also enjoy working more than staying at home?

 

I am not saying there are not "good" mothers who work by choice, but I disagree with mindset entirely.

 

You might disagree with that choice for *your* family, but that doesn't make it a wrong or bad choice for other families. There aren't just good mothers who work FT, there are GREAT ones. There are also SAHMs whose kids are a complete mess and would be better off if mom worked. I know SAHMs who plop toddlers and preschoolers in front of TV for hours and hours, all the time spouting off the evils of daycare where their children would learn to be independent and be participating in developmental activities.

 

Why someone would choose to balance a career and the ...........rest - I have no clue and I don't feel sorry for them at all and I don't admire it in the least.

 

Like you said- you have no clue. How can you be so judgmental about something you have no clue about?

 

editing to add: I'm talking more of a full-time job here. Part time............a few hours out of the house is not a big deal.

 

Oh so a few hours is okay- but it's not okay for a mom with kids in school to work FT? That makes NO sense.

 

My dd intends to have a career and a husband who stays at home. She knows she may not fall in love with a man who would choose that path, but we have friends who are taking that path, and she digs their lifestyle.

[E_Edgerton]

I am a home tutor/nanny for a homeschooling family...so, yes it actually is what I do as a job. However, when I have and homeschool my own kids it will be more just the way our family educates our children. :)

[Trivium Academy]

External pressures actually came from a discussion I had with dh yesterday about our 'jobs'. He was talking about his external pressures vs. mine which he felt I didn't have any. I have external pressures, not from others' opinions but from societal pressures for the kids to do well academically. I have a ton more internal pressures, as does anyone who is self-employed. Today, dh did the laundry while I taught dd, for the first time in years!

[buddhabelly]

And I worry for those children whose "teachers" do not consider it to be their primary job. I know lots of them, sadly.

 

(What I mean here is that for some folks, schooling comes (if at all!) after all the other family necessities/activities like grocery shopping, gardening, home maintenance. I think grocery shopping should be done outside of school hours, unless the child is actively involved with it somehow and it really is a learning activity. Perhaps others disagree. I also know families in which one or more children have such major needs (disabilities or emotional challenges) that it seriously interferes with the education of other "home-schooled" children in the family. You can guess why I put "homeschooled" in quotes here.

 

Julie

[Guest janainaz]

. My children are at home all day with their dad and at home all afternoon and evening with me.

 

Your children are with their father. This, again, is a different story. You balance your family where your kids are not latch-key kids. This is not comparable to what I said whatsoever.

 

My mother despised being a stay-at-home mother when I was younger. She found zero fulfillment in being my mother. I do RESPECTFULLY, let me add, disagree with kids being in school all day and at an after-school program. I think there needs to be a parent home when the kids are home and I can't comprehend mothers that dislike spending time with their kids.

 

Hope that clears it up. And yes, I do have a different outlook because of how I, personally, grew up. I hold very strong opinions on parents being there for their children. It is the #1 priority over career and money. Period.

[Guest janainaz]

So you are disagreeing with something you don't understand? Why not take the time to make friends with some career women? Find out what their life is REALLY like before you judge.

 

 

 

When a mother goes to work, she does not give up her role as mother when she leaves her child with a nanny, family member, babysitter, or at daycare.

 

 

 

Where I live, latchkey kids are a thing of the past. Most kids in school whose parents work full time go to after school activities or programs where they do homework, have snacks, and both organized and free play.

 

 

 

Working mothers are not mothers that can't stand to be with their kids. I know SAHMs who act like they can't stand to be with their kids. Some women are just not the type to be Holly Homemaker. I am one of those women. The only reason I SAH now is because I homeschool. If my dd's needs could be met in one of the local schools, I would be working FT.

 

 

 

So a mom who has to work is excused from your bias because she HAS to work. Somehow that mom who has to work can't also enjoy working more than staying at home?

 

 

 

You might disagree with that choice for *your* family, but that doesn't make it a wrong or bad choice for other families. There aren't just good mothers who work FT, there are GREAT ones. There are also SAHMs whose kids are a complete mess and would be better off if mom worked. I know SAHMs who plop toddlers and preschoolers in front of TV for hours and hours, all the time spouting off the evils of daycare where their children would learn to be independent and be participating in developmental activities.

 

 

 

Like you said- you have no clue. How can you be so judgmental about something you have no clue about?

 

 

 

Oh so a few hours is okay- but it's not okay for a mom with kids in school to work FT? That makes NO sense.

 

My dd intends to have a career and a husband who stays at home. She knows she may not fall in love with a man who would choose that path, but we have friends who are taking that path, and she digs their lifestyle.

 

I absolutely disagree with societies insane priorities that take precedence over the family and being a parent. I disagree on every level of what you wrote.

 

I do have women in my life, that I get along with, that have lifestyles contrary to mine. We respectfully disagree on these issues. Our society is a mess and I believe working mothers and overstressed parents are to blame and there is nothing that will convince me otherwise.

 

My sister-in-law is one of those working moms and she is a good mom. Her son will grow up and attend a big college and she will retire with a big bank account. But I do believe something is lost along the way and I have witnessed it. I watch the stress levels between them and it's not pretty. Her son is in daycare and has been since 3 months old.

 

I have stated clearly that when a mother has to work and kids have to be a daycare or whatnot - it is what it is. But, I can't respect the decision for a mother to leave her baby by choice and afterschool programs and whatnot do not make up for important family time.

[Murphy101]

I am a wife and mother and that includes homeschooling.

Just like a lawyer still says he is a lawyer, even if he works mostly pro bono.:)

 

I do view it as a job.

 

I do love my family and can't imagine not being home or not homeschooling.

 

But I don't know that it's important to like, much less love, this particuliar job I have?

 

Even if I were to hate homeschooling and or being a SAHM, this is still what I'd do because I believe it to be the best thing for my family. Even if I hated doing it - this is still what we'd do for that reason alone. Yeah, there's days in this job, just like any other job, where my job just s*cks and I'd like to resign or at least take a leave of absence. But I still do it and I try to do my best at it.

 

I happen to love my vocation/job/career most days, but I don't do it just because I want to. I do it because I feel very strongly and deeply that it's the best thing for my family. And THAT is what is most important to me. It's far more important to me to do what is best for my family than to be personally happy. It just so happens that the side benefit of doing what is best for my family brings me great happiness most days.:)

 

ETA: We're one of those rare families where the father is actually the one who suggested and encouraged homeschooling. So I have 100% of my dh's support - thank God!

 

And he is very aware of my external and internal pressures. Heck, he's aware that sometimes HE is the pressure source! LOL

Edited October 21, 2008 by Martha

[rafiki]

.

[Guest janainaz]

Quote: Oh so a few hours is okay- but it's not okay for a mom with kids in school to work FT? That makes NO sense.

 

Uh, yes it does make sense. Working WHILE your kids are at school and being there for them AFTER school makes perfect sense.

 

 

I homeschool - there are tons of women who totally disagree with my choice and think I'm weird. Becasue I am confident in what I am doing, their opinions do not frazzle me. Yet, some of the women who have responded have done so very childishly. I have always been very careful in the way I state my opinion and on this particular thread - I stated the way I see it. I am only one person on the planet and am entitled to my opinion. Am I that powerful that I can cause some of you to be so upset? It's truly ridiculous. My sister and brother-in-law laugh at my husband and I - outright!

 

Be condfident in your own decisions.

[Crissy]

And I worry for those children whose "teachers" do not consider it to be their primary job. I know lots of them, sadly.

 

 

I am one of those parents who doesn't consider homeschooling my job, but my kids are faring quite well. Better than average, actually.

 

(What I mean here is that for some folks, schooling comes (if at all!) after all the other family necessities/activities like grocery shopping, gardening, home maintenance. I think grocery shopping should be done outside of school hours, unless the child is actively involved with it somehow and it really is a learning activity.

 

Are you working under the assumption that schooling must be done during the daytime hours?

We run errands during the day, we work at events for our small business, we take care of home projects, etc., and school work still gets done.

Books being opened after the shopping and such are finished does not diminish the quality of education that kids like mine receive.

[LMA]

scheduling. There are days when dh works Saturdays and we do school or we flip flop school hours to work around other events or the weather. It shouldn't matter to others when I do my grocery shopping. I do it during the week when the stores aren't crowded and I can take my time and read labels as only those with food allergies can relate to having to double check every package they put into their shopping cart. Do you not leave the house during public school hours, what is the difference? We are on week 14 of school, even with having a relaxed schedule.

 

I do the same with errands and shopping. I like to go during the week in the middle of the morning. We do schooling early in the morning (many days we are up early at 5) and do finish by mid-morning. If anything is left, we do school in later afternoon/early evening. We do school year round and we do work on weekends.

[RebeccaC]

Yep, its my job and for the last 12 years it has been my career :D It sure is a fulfilling career too and I have 4 years left till mandatory retirement.

 

Now why do they not offer it as a major in college ;) Ya know labeled/described something like, Sculpting Tomorrows Leaders as a Home School Master Teacher the most important and demanding career you will ever have.

 

I sure don't consider this a chore, aka; taking out the trash or feeding the cats and dogs. That is what my boys do, chores.

 

I am a relaxed eclectic hser with a slight classical bent :001_smile:

[Word Nerd]

And I worry for those children whose "teachers" do not consider it to be their primary job. I know lots of them, sadly.

 

(What I mean here is that for some folks, schooling comes (if at all!) after all the other family necessities/activities like grocery shopping, gardening, home maintenance. I think grocery shopping should be done outside of school hours, unless the child is actively involved with it somehow and it really is a learning activity. Perhaps others disagree. I also know families in which one or more children have such major needs (disabilities or emotional challenges) that it seriously interferes with the education of other "home-schooled" children in the family. You can guess why I put "homeschooled" in quotes here.

 

Julie

 

Some of us consider homeschooling to be a learning lifestyle, not something that we do during "school hours" or based on the local district's schedule.

[buddhabelly]

Do you not leave the house during public school hours, what is the difference? We are on week 14 of school, even with having a relaxed schedule.

 

I would never suggest going to the grocery store when the rest of the world does if you don't have to! I was typing fast and shouldn't have used the phrase "during school hours." That is a loaded phrase and you obviously reacted to that. What I meant was, in the morning I wouldn't say, "OK, I have to do the grocery shopping and fix the broken screen door and do at LEAST four loads of laundry. And if we get to some math or Latin, even better!" It should be the other way around. Let the laundry pile up until some time when the homeschooled child is not schooling.

 

Now, if you have not PLANNED to do any school that day, that is a different story. I don't care whether you school at midnight on Saturday night or 7:00 a.m. on Tuesdays. What I was addressing is families that just don't get around to it. Other posters have addressed this pretty well.

 

Everyone has such different schedules that it is hard to word this so that it makes sense. YOU know how many hours each day it takes you to finish what you call "one week" of school. I have no idea what "Week 14" means because my schedule doesn't work that way. You know what I mean? I guess what I was saying is that I DO put just as much work, planning and effort into homeschooling as I have into any of my paid, full-time jobs.

 

What I keep reminding myself of is that the public school teacher doesn't leave to do errands until the kids are at recess (or they're done for the day). And even more pertinent to our home, she doesn't answer the phone! Because it is her/his job. Those kids. It's about them, and they need our time, our effort, our very best work so they can grow up to do their very best work.

 

I hope that clears up my message a little.

 

Julie

[buddhabelly]

Again, I chose poor words when I said "school hours." I didn't mean brick-and-mortar school hours. I meant the hours that YOUR FAMILY has chosen for school. Whatever works for you is great. I do know people that don't leave time for any school. They obviously don't manage their time well. We do not base our "school" on the local school district's schedule. We take days off, weeks off, and school most of the summer because that's when my husband works every day (including weekends). So we don't take "summer vacations."

 

I guess I am such a homeschooler that "school hours" has come to mean the hours that we are in our house homeschooling! I am just learning to keep those sacred and not be distracted by the priorities of others outside our homeschool.

 

Julie

[swellmomma]

I do not consider it my job, I consider it my calling kwim. That said, when the child support or child tax money gets deposited in my bank, if I have grocery shopping to do, or errands etc that comes before school work on those days. That siad I know which 3 days a month I get $$ so it is easy to schedule it, but I have no problem dropping everything to head out to the park, or visit with the neighbors, or send the kids out to play and do housework instead. We may or may not get school done on those days. So in that regard I do not approach it is a job, it is simply part of our life. By the end of the year we have accomplished what I want to accomplish, but it has not run our lives for us, it was just one more part of the whole kwim.

[angela in ohio]

No, being a wife and mother are my job. Homeschooling is one of the aspects of those.

[Melenie]

Yes. This is my primary job. Dh and I both see this as my primary job duty and all other committments and responsibilities come second to my primary job.

 

:iagree:

[Heather in Neverland]

Quote: Oh so a few hours is okay- but it's not okay for a mom with kids in school to work FT? That makes NO sense.

 

Uh, yes it does make sense. Working WHILE your kids are at school and being there for them AFTER school makes perfect sense.

 

 

I homeschool - there are tons of women who totally disagree with my choice and think I'm weird. Becasue I am confident in what I am doing, their opinions do not frazzle me. Yet, some of the women who have responded have done so very childishly. I have always been very careful in the way I state my opinion and on this particular thread - I stated the way I see it. I am only one person on the planet and am entitled to my opinion. Am I that powerful that I can cause some of you to be so upset? It's truly ridiculous. My sister and brother-in-law laugh at my husband and I - outright!

 

Be condfident in your own decisions.

 

 

I am perfectly confident in my decisions. I just find it to be an ill-conceived albeit amusing notion that you blame all of societies ills on working mothers. :lol:

[Guest janainaz]

I am perfectly confident in my decisions. I just find it to be an ill-conceived albeit amusing notion that you blame all of societies ills on working mothers. :lol:

 

Oh, no, not all, but most. Yes. I do. Absolutely. The breakdown of the family has caused major problems and if mothers (OR fathers) were home during after school hours, there would be far less pregnancies. Also, parents who put the family first - including each other - instill great values in their kids. I don't consider it a admirable sacrifice to give up time with my husband in the name of a career and/or money.

 

I am typically very careful in my choice of words when stating my opinion and on this topic, it's hard to tip-toe through the tulips. You were clearly offended and your response really showed how confident you are in your choices and that is why your posted response was harsh.

[Heather in Neverland]

You were clearly offended and your response really showed how confident you are in your choices and that is why your posted response was harsh.

 

Oh sweetie, I am not offended in the least. I am just sad at how narrow-minded some people can be. I am so sorry that your situation with your mother has caused you to be so bitter and to judge others so harshly. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone....

 

I had hoped that hearing another side of the story might possibly open your eyes and broaden your perspective just a little but I can see that is not possible. Considering the fact that you have obviously put all of your parenting eggs in the "quantity vs. quality time" basket, I truly hope everything turns out like you expect.

[Guest janainaz]

Oh sweetie, I am not offended in the least. I am just sad at how narrow-minded some people can be. I am so sorry that your situation with your mother has caused you to be so bitter and to judge others so harshly. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone....

 

I had hoped that hearing another side of the story might possibly open your eyes and broaden your perspective just a little but I can see that is not possible. Considering the fact that you have obviously put all of your parenting eggs in the "quantity vs. quality time" basket, I truly hope everything turns out like you expect.

 

Heather, I'm sorry that you have some insecurities in this way and can't handle another point-of-view and/or perspective. I am entitled to my opinion - just as you are. Nothing I wrote was with intent to push any "hot buttons" and I sincerely apologize for getting you all stirred up.

[rafiki]

.

[Heather in Neverland]

Heather, I'm sorry that you have some insecurities in this way and can't handle another point-of-view and/or perspective. I am entitled to my opinion - just as you are. Nothing I wrote was with intent to push any "hot buttons" and I sincerely apologize for getting you all stirred up.

 

You are just cracking me up tonight. "Getting me all stirred up"...so funny. :lol: Thanks, for the laugh, though! :D

[Peela]

Yes, I tend to consider it as my job.

[Melissa in Australia]

I mean in the traditional sense: expectations to meet, external pressures to perform well, everything except the paycheck and vacation time/sick days, lol.

 

If you don't consider homeschooling a job, why? What would qualify it as a job in your mind?

yes, and I do homeschool exactly as if it was a full time job as well. everything else has to fit in around it, including housework and social events.

[Jennefer@SSA]

Today, dh did the laundry while I taught dd, for the first time in years!

 

Yahoo! Jessica, that's fantastic!

 

As for me, I do think I see it as a job. I don't answer the phone during the day because I am working and if I were at a job I most likely wouldn't have the luxury of visiting with friends during work hours. At least that was true when I was a ps teacher!

 

I think, though, that there is great merit to seeing it as a "calling" and this thread has caused me to reflect on that more. Just the difference in those 2 words - job vs. calling - can make a big difference. At least for me! :D

 

Thanks for starting this thread.

[Jennefer@SSA]

and I very much relate to the pressures many others referred to. Most of mine are internal - I do a great job of putting those on myself! I do feel external pressures but as time goes on I worry about those less because I realize that those trying to make me feel like I need to "measure up" just don't get it. And no amount of performing on my part will change their minds. It does make sense what others said about external pressures increasing in the hs years as kids grow older and pressures of college loom large ahead!

[Annabel Lee]

I consider myself a teacher and homeschooling my children is currently my job. It does intertwine with the stay-at-home mom job, and the homemaker job. They come naturally and would be done whether I "had to" or not, so it doesn't feel like drudgery. But I do work, and don't like it when others imply otherwise. :glare:

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I am perfectly confident in my decisions

 

As you should be. Working moms on the average are healthier both mentally and physically. Your kids are not as prone to the same kinds of problems kids like mine can face from having a parent around all the time.

 

Out of all of my daughters friends, only about 4 or 5 are kids with SAH parents. When I think of the most successful, well-rounded, well behaved, responsible kids I know- both their parents work.

 

I find it sad that in 2008 people still spout off a bunch of ignorance about working mothers. I always hope those people don't have daughters. I could only imagine the sadness of growing up in such a household as a female in 2008.

[Scarlett]

As you should be. Working moms on the average are healthier both mentally and physically. .

 

Would you mind please to provide a source for this claim? My own anecdotal experience does not back that up. I worked in an office for 13 years with many many working moms. What I witnessed them going through trying to do it all had a lot to do with my determination to be a SAHM.

 

Also, although I was not a mom at the time, when I worked in the office I was constantly sick with some allergy or headcold. Since being home, I'm rarely sick.

 

I do believe everyone has to decide for themselves what is best for their families. It is not ignorance though, to be firm in one's belief that children need large quantities of time with their parents. There are extremes to every version of what that means of course...I don't think 8 hours a day in front of a tv while SAHM watches soaps is better than 8 hours a day in a daycare. I don't believe that is the reality of most SAHMs though.

 

I was 33 years old and just about to accept a dream job in Boston when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't take the job because I wanted to give my full attention to my baby. Was that a personal sacrifice? I suppose. However, I have received re-payment 10 times over in the joy my son brings me.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Would you mind please to provide a source for this claim?

 

You can look it up on Web MD and I'm sure it's well documented in other places as well.

[sagira]

Well, my work is homeschooling. Yes, I do consider it a job. I take sick days if I'm really sick, just as I would with an outside job. I'm also planning to go back to school, graduate school, when the kids are older and get my Psychology degree (either Master's or Ph.D., haven't decided yet).

 

I do consider my volunteering to be a type of job too. And I do help my dh with his business sometimes (not s often as I should :blush:).

 

My anecdotal evidence: I see a lot of moms that are dying to get out of working outside the home and take care of their child at home. I do volunteer with moms that have really young children for the most part, but even older moms I talk to overwhelmingly regret having worked and not spending time with their children at home as a SAHM.

 

Except my mom. She sounds like she wishes she had continued working. In her mind, if she could, she would have. She quit working when I was four and had just started school. She often reminds me that she "used to be somebody" :001_huh: and "I gave up a prestigious position because of you" etc. etc. I guess I understand her a bit as she was born in 1938 and the rights of women were hard-won. She always talks in wonder how dedicated of a mother she thinks I am. I'm an only child.

 

I'm the opposite. I didn't like working the two years I did, too much stress (PR firm) and wouldn't trade my being a stay-at-home mom with anything in the world. I'm so thankful to be able to have this opportunity. It's what I've always wanted.

Edited October 22, 2008 by sagira

[Scarlett]

You can look it up on Web MD and I'm sure it's well documented in other places as well.

 

I put 'health of working moms vs. SAHMs' in the search of Web MD and only one aricle came up. Here it is

 

http://blogs.webmd.com/all-ears/2006/02/more-on-dumping-kids-in-day-care.html

 

I searched various other combinations on the women's health portion of the site and found nothing close to a discussion about women's physical and mental health being better if they work outside the home.

[jejily]

I mean in the traditional sense: expectations to meet, external pressures to perform well, everything except the paycheck and vacation time/sick days, lol.

 

If you don't consider homeschooling a job, why? What would qualify it as a job in your mind?

 

 

 

I definitely consider it a job, and even more so, now that I'm also homeschooling another child along with my son, as a ministry to that family. I don't get paid for it.

 

But, I love this job. I think that I've found a new calling. My son will go back to PS in high school, and I think I will go get my teaching certification.

 

I worked full time for most of the past 15 years. I did not homeschool my other children, although they begged me to, at various times. I regret that now, but both are doing well, in spite of the fact that I simply was not there for them as much as I have been for my youngest.

 

Circumstances changed and allowed me to be home to homeschool. I treat it as my job. We are one of those families who starts at a set time each morning (partly because we have someone else from outside joining us), and that works well for both my son and me. We like schedules.

 

We are somewhat relaxed within those schedules, though. Sometimes I decide the order of events for the day, because I know a Bible lesson will be more meaningful after that day's history lesson, for example. I have a list of things we want to accomplish in a week, but if what I plan for Monday gets pushed to Tuesday, I'm not too overly stressed about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OK, that's not true. I do get stressed about it... but I TRY not to. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

I tend to be a perfectionist and obsessive about it -- but most of the pressure is internal, not external.

 

So, yes, I see it -- and treat it -- as I would a job. Perhaps to the detriment of my child... but I hope not. I think he still loves learning, and that's the important thing, right?

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Ok, I about spit my water on the screen! Exactly what problems are kids prone to because they have a parent around? Heather's kids do have a parent around all of the time. She has already stated that she and her dh work opposite shifts so her kids are not alone. If being a SAHM is so detrimental to your children why aren't you working outside of the home? Really I am just trying to figure this out because it doesn't ring true for me. I am wondering where this idea came from.

 

I don't work outside the home because my dd has special needs and the school system can not meet them. Kids with SAH parents can more often become victims of helicopter parents. That is a real danger.

 

My dh and I sat down with a psychologist before we made the decision to homeschool, and we got a whole list of things that we needed to do to make sure our dd grew up to be normal and psychologically healthy. One of those things is for her to see me in a role that does not revolve around the household. I do a lot of volunteer work, and I often take her with me so that she can see that Mommy is more than just a wife and mother. She also needs to understand that the lives of her father and I do not revolve around her. We need to make sure she has plenty of independence, that we are not hovering over her or controlling her every move, which is a trap easy for a SAH parent to fall into.

 

Some of us have very strongly held beliefs that come, not from ignorance, but from knowing all too well what it is to come home after school all alone to a dark house.

 

I don't know any kids from working middle class homes that come home to a dark house.

 

I am the proud mother of two daughters who are being taught that being a wife and mother is a high calling. It may not be what they choose to do with their whole lives but they are being taught that if/when they have children those children need a full time parent.

 

What if those girls want to become doctors? Will you make them feel terrible about choosing what is right for their own lives and families?

Edited October 22, 2008 by Academy of Jedi Arts

[Mad Jenny Flint]

If it weren't my job, I would all too frequently allow "life" to interfere with it.