Seasider Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 My husband and sister in law were just recently talking on the phone about how much they are looking forward to FIL and me arguing over Politics at Christmas. They find it entertaining. :huh: Lol my older kids consider it a spectator sport LOL!!!! Dawn, for my part, I have a mental list of conversation topics to interject with should the situation warrant. But I can only do so much. One perk of the work of being a hostess is having a good excuse to run off to the kitchen! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 It's not reasonable to expect others to not talk politics when they enjoy it. Bring some knitting and don't engage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 I'd be tempted to try, "Do you mind if we don't talk politics? It seems to me that's all I've been hearing for the last few months, and it's such a nice day, just being with family. I'd like to catch up on what everybody has been doing this year, and what you've all got planned for Christmas and next year." That seems more polite than saying, "Talking politics gives me wicked indigestion." :laugh: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Not an accusation of whining, but really; you can't find an adult way to deal? Really? There are many people who are extremely stressed about the election. Not attributing these reasons to Dawn, but sexual assault survivors and minorities and all kinds of people are having a very hard time right now. There's no reason to call someone who is overloaded with this a whiner or a baby. Preparing coping strategies beforehand **is** an adult way to deal with things. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Sigh, I wish I had a good way to do it. Thanksgiving is going to be not fun at my parents' house. We know it in advance, and are the family black sheep since we declared this to be the very last get together with the local extended family that we will attend. Things got just that bad! My plan is to help get the food out, eat, immediately busy myself with cleaning and NOT join the crew in the living room who will be chatting it up. My boys feel the same way and will help me so likely while the rest of them froth at the mouth, we will be occupied. My mom is hard of hearing so won't notice we aren't there or are out in the kitchen making noise. My sister in law never, ever wants to assist with the clean up so will be all to happy to have us do all the work. My niece will be busy with her new baby, my other niece is staying at a friend's house. Mother in law might notice but will want to sit and join the conversation. So my goal is for us to do all the clean up work, and then announce we are tired and going home for a nap. We live two blocks away so can slip home easily, and then dh and I will play Wii and board games with our guys back in the quiet sanctuary of our home. At some point someone down there will realize that we ate and ran, but on the other hand they can hardly complain because we cleaned up the entire huge mess for them. That's the plan. I suspect that given the particularly vile nature of the the 2016 political year, many families will need to prepare an escape hatch for their extended family gatherings this season. Hopefully, 2017 will usher in a little sanity and peace. Okay, I know...that's a long shot, but one can wish upon a star! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 I've noticed something over the years on these boards. PPL get extra snippy around the holidays. Oh really? Who you callin' snippy?!? *glares in sparkly's direction* ;) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Maybe there's an essential oil for this. ;) Wouldn't it be nice though if there was some sort of magical scent that would just calm everyone down reliably? 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Will small children be there? Cam you ask to keep it light for their sake? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Oh really? Who you callin' snippy?!? *glares in sparkly's direction* ;) I bet if someone studied the demographics/metrics/whatever we're calling it these days, I bet a larger than average number of posters here are the also the ones responsible for organizing and/or hosting their family's get together. Trying to meet everyone's expectations for Currier & Ives perfection is a real cause of frazzled nerves, then add the other challenges on top and it's a recipe for anxiety. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 I have already said to some that I am done with the election - it's over. You could stay out of the conversation and if prompted say something like: "This whole thing has been dragging on for so long. I am rather tired of it." If someone said this at my table I would take the hint, hostess or not. If they don't, let them argue while you eat all the cranberry sauce! :laugh: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Wouldn't it be nice though if there was some sort of magical scent that would just calm everyone down reliably? There is! Didn't some of you legalize pot? 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 (edited) There is! Didn't some of you legalize pot?Lol! Oh, don't mind that. Just some incense I pick up. Pass the tofurky please! Eta: I like tofurky! . Edited November 18, 2016 by happi duck 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 There is! Didn't some of you legalize pot? Pot brownies. The answer to all family gatherings. ;) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 It's not reasonable to expect others to not talk politics when they enjoy it. Bring some knitting and don't engage. Normally I completely agree. The talking part isn't the problem. The yelling part - which my mother's husband and my nephew and sister in law engage in IS the problem. It is so darn unpleasant to listen to that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 Will small children be there? Cam you ask to keep it light for their sake? It is typically discussed while the kids are downstairs playing and the adults are driving coffee. Or it was last time. Thankfully, they do live right across the line into the next state, even though they are only 8 miles from us, so any state election discussions won't concern me a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Maybe there's an essential oil for this. ;) Wouldn't it be nice though if there was some sort of magical scent that would just calm everyone down reliably? Oh, I can think of one. My state as not legalized it however! Seriously, given the train wreck my extended family has been this past year and two months, I would chuck an entire fire log of the stuff into the fireplace if I could! :D At this point, I'd consider gifting them all HUGE catnip pillows if I thought it would have the proper effect on them. :biggrinjester: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Oh, I can think of one. My state as not legalized it however! Seriously, given the train wreck my extended family has been this past year and two months, I would chuck an entire fire log of the stuff into the fireplace if I could! :D At this point, I'd consider gifting them all HUGE catnip pillows if I thought it would have the proper effect on them. :biggrinjester: Bwahahaha now I have an entirely new mental image of Yule Log!!! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Bwahahaha now I have an entirely new mental image of Yule Log!!! You're welcome! :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Normally I completely agree. The talking part isn't the problem. The yelling part - which my mother's husband and my nephew and sister in law engage in IS the problem. It is so darn unpleasant to listen to that. Yeah, yelling is unpleasant. Ear plugs? Headphones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Yeah, yelling is unpleasant. Ear plugs? Headphones? We have ear buds and ipods/phones cued up for some Frank Sinatra, Nat Cole, and such for while we do the dishes and put all the food away. With luck, we can then sneak out the back door without any of them noticing....there is a side door off the half bath hallway that we can probably slink into since we can go from the kitchen, down the hall, and to the bathroom without passing through the entry ways to the dining and living room. If we close the door quietly and then duck under the one and only window that might trip us up, we should be able to make it down the driveway unseen. Two block walk home. Yay for us. Sad that it has to come to that. But certain powers that be in the family just are determined to be quite unpleasant right now, and with that, lots of yelling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Living in a state which legalized pot really hasn't helped much. Seriously, develop a new found passion for the Lions (hard- might have to work at this) and Cowboys (easy this year) and tack on the Steelers. 3 games. Takes you from 9 am to 9 pm. New best friends: Phil Simms (there is a mute button if needed), Troy Aikman (very good), and Al Michaels to take you home. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Living in a state which legalized pot really hasn't helped much. Seriously, develop a new found passion for the Lions (hard- might have to work at this) and Cowboys (easy this year) and tack on the Steelers. 3 games. Takes you from 9 am to 9 pm. New best friends: Phil Simms (there is a mute button if needed), Troy Aikman (very good), and Al Michaels to take you home. Sorry, Michigander here. Every year it is a profound despair to watch the Lions play. We gave up a long time ago! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Sorry, Michigander here. Every year it is a profound despair to watch the Lions play. We gave up a long time ago! Maybe the shared existential despair of the Lions can be a bonding experience. Everyone can feel the impending doom together. See? Now we are talking football... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 Lol my older kids consider it a spectator sport LOL!!!! Dawn, for my part, I have a mental list of conversation topics to interject with should the situation warrant. But I can only do so much. One perk of the work of being a hostess is having a good excuse to run off to the kitchen! Unfortunately, it s a tiny house. The food is on the kitchen counter and the table is just to the other side of it. So, no escaping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 You could make it a game. Every time someone says candidate A's name, oink like a pig. When they say B's name, moo like a cow. It'd definitely be interesting for everyone. Although it might get exhausting for you, lol. 😜 I'd just get up and take my plate elsewhere. After an oink or two. I'm sorry; I know it's sucks. Unless I go off to one of their bedrooms or the bathroom, there isn't really anywhere else to go. Small house, kitchen, dining area (not even a room) and living room all in one open space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 There is! Didn't some of you legalize pot? I laughed loudly enough at this to get the attention of dd, who is down the hall working on a paper. Of course, I had to explain why I was giggling, and she had the perfect response: Kind of gives a new meaning to the term POTluck dinner, huh? 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 "Hey Dawn, what do you think about XYZ political hoo ha?" Dawn: "I think I'm going to just sit this conversation out and wait for the subject to change. Carry on. My wine (water, kool aid, soda, etc. . .) and I will wait patiently." 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Living in a state which legalized pot really hasn't helped much. Seriously, develop a new found passion for the Lions (hard- might have to work at this) and Cowboys (easy this year) and tack on the Steelers. 3 games. Takes you from 9 am to 9 pm. New best friends: Phil Simms (there is a mute button if needed), Troy Aikman (very good), and Al Michaels to take you home. This may help with the Lions love: We're having a very low key Thanksgiving here this year, but we had a potential political minefield situation to deal with in October when a very loud, outspoken and very opposite politically from the rest of us (and not polite about it) came to town. My mom, DH and I plotted a bit ahead of time to help keep the conversation away from politics. We were able to manipulate the conversation enough between the three of us, to keep the weekend mostly politics free. If you have an ally or two, you may be able to direct the conversation away from politics and on to other topics without the rest of the group even realizing. Also, football. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 "Hey Dawn, what do you think about XYZ political hoo ha?" Dawn: "I think I'm going to just sit this conversation out and wait for the subject to change. Carry on. My wine (water, kool aid, soda, etc. . .) and I will wait patiently." Unfortunately, they don't ask what I think, they just start talking as if we are all in 100% agreement about how horrible the other person is and how great the candidate we voted for was. They occasionally say, "you know?" but don't really wait for an answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 You could make it a game. Every time someone says candidate A's name, oink like a pig. When they say B's name, moo like a cow. It'd definitely be interesting for everyone. Although it might get exhausting for you, lol. 😜 I'd just get up and take my plate elsewhere. After an oink or two. I'm sorry; I know it's sucks. That would be hilarious. Annoying, but hilarious. A drinking game could also be fun /S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Unfortunately, they don't ask what I think, they just start talking as if we are all in 100% agreement about how horrible the other person is and how great the candidate we voted for was. They occasionally say, "you know?" but don't really wait for an answer. Okay, that's my pet peeve. I think it's incredibly rude of the speaker to assume that everyone agrees with her/him. Not cool. Alley 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Unfortunately, they don't ask what I think, they just start talking as if we are all in 100% agreement about how horrible the other person is and how great the candidate we voted for was. They occasionally say, "you know?" but don't really wait for an answer. Show up with a NASTY WOMAN shirt and maybe they'll take a hint? (Or wear a MAGA hat?) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 (edited) since they don't ask what you think... What about saying..."Hey guys, aren't you burnt out from all this political talk?!" They might take the hint. They might not. Edited November 18, 2016 by SparklyUnicorn 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 (edited) Show up with a NASTY WOMAN shirt and maybe they'll take a hint? (Or wear a MAGA hat?) I don't even know what those are! Oh, looked it up, Make America Great Again hat? Edited November 18, 2016 by DawnM 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewber Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 If you like The Holderness Family, check out this year's thanksgiving video. It's about this very thing! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Unfortunately, they don't ask what I think, they just start talking as if we are all in 100% agreement about how horrible the other person is and how great the candidate we voted for was. They occasionally say, "you know?" but don't really wait for an answer. In that case, I make some sympathetic (or pathetic :)) sounding noise and keep on eating and drinking merrily. Bring some good wine along. It will make all the difference. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 If you are whiny, then I don't know what we are, because we've cut ties entirely with family members over this. Yup. "This" being hateful ideas about people not like them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 You could always call "Adele" https://vimeo.com/146546470 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 Show up with a NASTY WOMAN shirt and maybe they'll take a hint? (Or wear a MAGA hat?) Wear both and confuse the shizznit out of them. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 My dad and mom and step dad are prone to go on about politics, some of which I agree with and some I don't. (I'm a Libertarian, so that's usually the case no matter who I'm talking to.) This year as soon as the topic of politics came up (on the phone, at the family reunion last month, and a visit) I say, "What a depressing topic. Don't remind me how crappy this election season has been. Nothing depresses me more than thinking about all the morons on all sides trying to run the country. I just want to go kayaking/hiking [when speaking with my dad's side] or fabric/book shopping/binge watch shows [that we both like with my mom's side.] Hey, that reminds me, what do you think of [insert something related to those things that they can share their thoughts or advise on]...." That's put an end to it so far because I think so many people agree that even in their own party, the candidate that ran isn't a great option. Also, it gets them talking about something else they like. It's worked so far.But I would like to point out that you don't get to decide what other people talk about. You can make attempts to deflect and redirect, but ultimately they get to decide if they're going to go along with you or go where they originally intended. Be prepared with a back up plan if they don't go along. You can only remain silent, leave the room, leave the gathering, participate in the political discussion, continue trying to redirect or stay home to begin with. If there's another option, I can't think of it right now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code Lyoko Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 Ear plugs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegGuheert Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) ABC and USA Today have a articles on this topic, but you read it here first! More Than a Third of Americans Say That Idea of Discussing Politics at Thanksgiving Stresses Them Out The holiday season is upon us! With Thanksgiving around the corner and a divisive election in the rearview mirror, millions of Americans expect to talk politics with friends and family members over the holiday, and more than a third say the idea of those conversations stresses them out. The election is getting people uninvited from Thanksgiving Others, who may have wanted a reason to skip dinner, simply said they were dreading the inevitable alcohol-fueled political discussions. Edited November 22, 2016 by RegGuheert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 In general the best defense is a good offense. I know almost nothing about football, and literally nothing about professional ball, but I think MysteryJen is totally correct. You have to have something that is MORE INTERESTING THAN POLITICS to your friends....something that YOU are willing to enthusiastically engage in locked and loaded if you don't want to listen to then talk about something. One time I was at a party (actually now that I am thinking about it, something similar has happened at least two other times...) and the lot of us were talking about something specific and one woman piped up, quote, "You KNOW, we don't have to talk about {this} every time we get together!" I was like, "what DO you want to talk about?" She said nothing...I'm just sayin'....we can talk about something else. WELL DUH, jerk! We are conscious of the fact that our language capabilities extend to any topic under the sun, but we are talking about this. Frustrating. But any way I digress. I know you, OP, wouldn't say something so...aggressively uncouth!! But I maintain that if you want folks to start talking about something else, YOU have to just start talking about something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 22, 2016 Author Share Posted November 22, 2016 In general the best defense is a good offense. I know almost nothing about football, and literally nothing about professional ball, but I think MysteryJen is totally correct. You have to have something that is MORE INTERESTING THAN POLITICS to your friends....something that YOU are willing to enthusiastically engage in locked and loaded if you don't want to listen to then talk about something. One time I was at a party (actually now that I am thinking about it, something similar has happened at least two other times...) and the lot of us were talking about something specific and one woman piped up, quote, "You KNOW, we don't have to talk about {this} every time we get together!" I was like, "what DO you want to talk about?" She said nothing...I'm just sayin'....we can talk about something else. WELL DUH, jerk! We are conscious of the fact that our language capabilities extend to any topic under the sun, but we are talking about this. Frustrating. But any way I digress. I know you, OP, wouldn't say something so...aggressively uncouth!! But I maintain that if you want folks to start talking about something else, YOU have to just start talking about something else. See, I don't think it is polite to just come up with a topic and say everyone has to agree it is more interesting than the one being discussed. What if they don't give two hoots about what I want to talk about? I tend to just let conversations ebb and flow, and typically we have done fine. Even last election, I was ok overall, even though I disagreed. This time I just am worried it will be more difficult for me to just let it go. I may try to just say I don't wish to discuss it and if they continue to press or whatever, I will find something else to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 See, I don't think it is polite to just come up with a topic and say everyone has to agree it is more interesting than the one being discussed. What if they don't give two hoots about what I want to talk about? No, I'm not suggesting you "say everyone has to agree it is more interesting" (??) I'm saying if you have something YOU want to talk about, just start talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 25, 2016 Author Share Posted November 25, 2016 UPDATE: It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. Whew! Politics was brought up near the end of the time together and it appeared that they actually were more in line with where I think than I thought. I still did NOT engage. I just listened and didn't participate, but the conversation was short and it didn't get into who actually voted for whom or who the "idiots" were. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 UPDATE: It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. Whew! Politics was brought up near the end of the time together and it appeared that they actually were more in line with where I think than I thought. I still did NOT engage. I just listened and didn't participate, but the conversation was short and it didn't get into who actually voted for whom or who the "idiots" were. Isn't it nice when adults act like, you know, adults? I know you were stressing about what might happen. Glad it went well and you were able to enjoy yourself. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Normally I completely agree. The talking part isn't the problem. The yelling part - which my mother's husband and my nephew and sister in law engage in IS the problem. It is so darn unpleasant to listen to that. my nephew is incredibly condescending and downright demeaning to anyone with a different opinion. no yelling required. he's highly obnoxious - and loves to talk politics. more and more people avoid family dinners just to avoid him. my dd (who easily gets along with people with whom others have issues) refused to invite him to her wedding. I always liked his wife. she filed for divorce last spring after 11 years of marriage. (not really surprised. I had wondered why she married him.) I stopped hosting thanksgiving a few years ago. Yeah, yelling is unpleasant. Ear plugs? Headphones? or you could wear the airport ground crew type headphones so they can see you're blocking them. i used earplugs with mil one time - dh burst out laughing when he realized it. just said "wear your hair down so she doesn't see." We have ear buds and ipods/phones cued up for some Frank Sinatra, Nat Cole, and such for while we do the dishes and put all the food away. With luck, we can then sneak out the back door without any of them noticing....there is a side door off the half bath hallway that we can probably slink into since we can go from the kitchen, down the hall, and to the bathroom without passing through the entry ways to the dining and living room. If we close the door quietly and then duck under the one and only window that might trip us up, we should be able to make it down the driveway unseen. Two block walk home. Yay for us. Sad that it has to come to that. But certain powers that be in the family just are determined to be quite unpleasant right now, and with that, lots of yelling. or like some stores play classical music because it tends to drive off those likely to cause problems. maybe some wagner . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Glad it worked out Dawn 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 25, 2016 Author Share Posted November 25, 2016 It's not reasonable to expect others to not talk politics when they enjoy it. Bring some knitting and don't engage. Knitting? Definitely NOT my thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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