Neighbor Issue

[scbusf]

I live on a very small cul de sac. About a month ago, new renters moved in across the street (3 houses down from my house).

 

Now that the weather is cooling off, they have started having weekend parties in their driveway at night. I'm not sure if it's all people that live there, or if other people come over. There are probably 6 or so people out there and they have a fire pit and music and just generally have a good time.

 

Maybe we have crappy windows, but we can hear every single word they say. Our living room and master bedroom are at the front of our house. One night, I was able to fall asleep around midnight, but I woke up at 2 am and they were still going strong. I ended up going to sleep in our guest room at the back of our house. In the morning, DH said the people were out there until at least 4 am.

 

What, if anything, should we do? DH and I are the most non confrontational people ever. I have no idea what to say to them or even if we should. I do NOT want to cause any issues with them. We already have strained relations with our next door neighbors and I don't want any more of that.

 

Maybe I should just turn on a loud fan while we sleep.

[maize]

Does your town have noise ordinances?

 

I'd call the police next time they are out past midnight and being loud, the neighbors don't have to know who called.

[Miss Peregrine]

There should be a noise curfew in your town. Find out what it is and then call the sheriff and let them deal with it.

[Spryte]

Yes, I would call and report the noise. The police don't need to say who called.

[Jyhwkmama]

If they are not playing loud music, I would just use a fan.

 

If they are playing loud music, I would talk to them and/or possibly call authorities.

[zoobie]

White noise machine and call if you have noise ordinances.

[ondreeuh]

I'm sorry. We have the same issue. I did let them know the sound really carried, and I tried to play it off as the orientation of the house magnifying the sound but... they get drunk and turn up their sound system in the garage (with garage doors open), and they just don't care if it bothers anyone else. It was particularly nice when the woman started singing karaoke. We don't have city police and the state troopers don't care about noise. :(

 

I would assume that your neighbors don't care about bothering people - they have to know they are being too loud! If you've got local police who can enforce a noise ordinance, I would go straight to them.

[gardenmom5]

you could joke about what they talk about - repeating choice phrases - making it clear you hear *everything*.  most people want privacy, and that will send them the message the whole cul de sac hears what they say.

 

and if you're in a neighborhood with a hoa - there probably are noise ordinances.   you can complain to the hoa.

[gardenmom5]

I'm sorry. We have the same issue. I did let them know the sound really carried, and I tried to play it off as the orientation of the house magnifying the sound but... they get drunk and turn up their sound system in the garage (with garage doors open), and they just don't care if it bothers anyone else. It was particularly nice when the woman started singing karaoke. We don't have city police and the state troopers don't care about noise. :(

 

I would assume that your neighbors don't care about bothering people - they have to know they are being too loud! If you've got local police who can enforce a noise ordinance, I would go straight to them.

 

if they're drunk - the probably blank on what they're doing.  you could video them and post it to youtube.  or just make them the object of humorous neighborhood stories (without naming names. - but making clear they often get drunk at night and do these things.)

[gaillardia]

if they're drunk - the probably blank on what they're doing.  you could video them and post it to youtube.  or just make them the object of humorous neighborhood stories (without naming names. - but making clear they often get drunk at night and do these things.)

Can you imagine the revenge?

I don't think I would do that. How early do you get up? How loud are you when you get things rolling in the driveway, front yard, garage? 

Mowing, leaf blower, chain saw, other power equipment, dog barking, instrument practice, just going about your daily routine. Music while hubby works on the car in the driveway? Or you like classical music of some kind, right? You can play it while you're gardening in whichever yard, front or back, would be most advantageous to prove your point. Yard sale or garage sale?

I know it seems unkind, but if you don't get a good response from the police department...

If they were still being loud and outside at 4 a.m., I definitely would have called the police. 

[RoughCollie]

A friend of mine has a rental house. The  neighbors got together and hired a lawyer, and called the township because the tenants were in violation of several ordinances. The township fined my friend, the landlord, which was the first time he knew of the problem, and the ordinances. He evicted them (he had plenty of reasons to do so in addition to the ordinance violations).

 

Whether the police will get involved or not, I would call the landlord, and ask other neighbors to do the same. I'd also find out if they were breaking any ordinances at all, and report that to the powers that be.

[DawnM]

Oh gosh. I couldn't deal.    I have to get sleep or I can't function.  And right now I leave the house at 6am for work.  I think it is bad enough that my elderly neighbors think that if they get up at 3am (which they often do), they should turn on the flood lights in their backyard.   Which reminds me, I have GOT to order those blinds I keep talking about getting.

 

You said they are renters.  Could you talk to the owners?  

[poppy]

if they're drunk - the probably blank on what they're doing.  you could video them and post it to youtube.  or just make them the object of humorous neighborhood stories (without naming names. - but making clear they often get drunk at night and do these things.)

 

Oh my goodness. Public shaming is your FIRST step??

I also think it's nuts to assume that everyone with a beer in her hand is a blackout drinker.

 

If it's just talking, I'd get a white noise machine. If it's music, I'd ask the police to poltely inform them of the noise ordinance. 

Normally I'm not "go to the cops first" but in this case, it won't do any good to identify yourself as the complainer. And they honestly can't get into that much trouble anyway.

Edited October 29, 2016 by poppy

[bettyandbob]

How loud is it when you are outside. I've noticed in my neighborhood the sound outside seems a lot less than what I hear through my windows at night.

 

You may need some sort of white noise machine.

[Tap]

If you don't want a personal confrontation, write them an anonymous letter.  That way you can let them know that it bothers you and see if they change any behaviors from the gentle nudge. Cite the noise ordinance, so they know what the law says. Otherwise, get the police to come by and chat.

 

good luck!  We had noisy neighbors who finally after about 5 years, learned to turn down their music. I had to call the police several times, but they finally got the hint. 

[mommymonster]

I would call the landlord. Most decent landlords are going to want to proactively manage disruptive tenants, so just letting the landlord know might be a great first step. 

[MEmama]

Ugh, I'm sorry. We had a terrible neighbor like this too. During the day she was a sweet and friendly nurse, but at night she (and sometimes her teenage daughter) would hold all night drunken ragers--real doozies with adults yelling profanities in the backyard and straight into our bedroom windows. Our son learned some... interesting... language during the middle of the night.

 

She also had dogs she would lock up indoors for days on end, who barked from the moment she left until she returned. Another neighbor tried repeatedly to report her, but this is a small town and she had friends on the force. We were stuck with her for 4 years until she finally moved.

 

I wish I had advice. :(

Edited October 29, 2016 by MEmama

[theelfqueen]

Ooh I think our old neighbors moved to your neighborhood! Do they have a pool table in the garage?

 

[Mergath]

if they're drunk - the probably blank on what they're doing.  you could video them and post it to youtube.  or just make them the object of humorous neighborhood stories (without naming names. - but making clear they often get drunk at night and do these things.)

 

Unless they're to the point where they're lying in the driveway and puking in the bushes, they probably aren't drinking enough to black out. 

[skimomma]

We live in a densely packed, mostly-rentals neighborhood so this is constantly an issue.  At least 50% of the time, a simple conversation does the trick.  We just go over and explain that their music/party/voices carry more than they probably realize and is disturbing our sleep. Half of the time they are sorry and ask us to let them know if it ever gets too loud again.....and then do response well when we do have to remind them.  For these people, we try to go the extra mile to keep relations good by waving when we see them outside and sharing cookies and such.  The other half of the time, they say they will keep it down but don't.  We typically speak with them twice.  On the third offense, we go to the landlord if we know who it is.  This usually does no good but we feel it part of our due diligence.  Most of the local landlords are not local and really don't care at all.  After that, we work with the cops.  Ours are pretty responsive.

 

We also have a FB group for all of the owner-occupiers in our neighborhood and we communicate with each other when there is an issue.  We even have a couple of police officers in the group.  We rotate who calls the cops or goes to speak with the offenders so that they know it is multiple houses that are complaining which reduces the risk of retaliation.  We have had a few that are borderline threatening and we use the group so that more than one person can go in case there is an issue.

[almondbutterandjelly]

If you are really nonconfrontational and also don't want to call the cops, then you can only do what you can do.  Get better windows.  Get sound proofing curtains.  Get a white noise machine.  Make your guest bedroom your master.  These are all within your control.  ((hugs))  

[JFSinIL]

Reminds me of the time years ago when I was a teen and a young family moved in next door. Neighbors are outside talking about something or other, and new family comes out to visit, too. Loud music can be heard - coming from their house :-( . The young mom is a happy person, and almost right away mentions how they used to live in an apartment and couldn't play their tunes since neighbors complained but now they were in a house! Er, sorry to say, but we could all still hear you music and really did not want to......I think my mom had to eventually advise them to either close their windows or turn the music down. They simply did not realize it was a problem.

 

I have had to go out and ask neighbors here to hush once in a while - next door some painters would gather before heading out to a job at 6am, and I had to go out in robe and slippers and point out that 1. their voices really carried and 2. they needed to stop SWEARING. I went "Mom" on them (with a smile) and it worked. Another time I had to let the lady across the street who liked to sit on her front step to talk on the phone that thanks to the acoustics of the street we could hear every word she said in our front rooms. It was kinda mutually embarrassing, since she had been having some pretty private conversations, but she needed to know.

Edited October 29, 2016 by JFSinIL

[poppy]

Reminds me of the time years ago when I was a teen and a young family moved in next door. Neighbors are outside talking about something or other, and new family comes out to visit, too. Loud music can be heard - coming from their house :-( . The young mom is a happy person, and almost right away mentions how they used to live in an apartment and couldn't play their tunes since neighbors complained but now they were in a house! Er, sorry to say, but we could all still hear you music and really did not want to......I think my mom had to eventually advise them to either close their windows or turn the music down. They simply did not realize it was a problem.

 

Awww, I feel bad for that guy. He is allowed to play music!! I think the issue in this thread that has everyone saying "take action" is that the party is going until 4am.

[Bluegoat]

I guess it depends on whether they are actually being loud, or it just seems loud.

 

If they are talking in normal voices, I probably wouldn't say anything, and just chalk it up to life with other people.

 

If they are actually being really loud or playing loud music, I would say that is inappropriate after about midnight.  I think the best thing to do in that case is talk to them, but to be honest I probably wouldn't, I'd be too shy. 

 

I don't think, unless I thought they might be dangerous/really nasty, that I would call police without talking to them first, I tend to think that's anti-social.  I figure if I am too shy to talk to them I have to live with the results of that

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited December 28, 2016 by ..Kathy..

[laundrycrisis]

If they are just talking and not yelling or swearing, and not playing loud music, I wouldn't complain.  If they are being loud and obnoxious after whatever the noise curfew is, I would call the police at curfew:01 and make a noise complaint.  I would not discuss with them beforehand, because then it will be obvious who called the police on them. 

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:

 

you have my sympathies. We had a neighbour that would play over and over the EXACT SAME SONG on full volume until he passed out EVERY SINGLE NIGHT  he would pass out around 2 am. 

 

 

We now live more rural, and the neighbours are mostly quiet. but there is a holiday house up the road and last summer they did have a big party with very very loud music. Around 3 am somebody in the street when out and shot the fuse on the power poll, cutting the electricity to the whole street.  

[Tanaqui]

Call in a noise complaint. Keep doing it, every night - and honestly, I wouldn't wait until midnight, I'd call at 10 on the dot on weekdays, 11 on weekends. You have a right to quiet hours.

 

(And a party is not that big a deal, because they make noise for long enough that you can do this. For several months we had this one dude who would drive into our block somewhere between 2 and 4 am, twice a week, blaring his music for three or four minutes straight. What's the point of calling 311? By the time anybody shows up, he's parked and gone to bed!)

 

With that said, improved insulation can both save on heating/cooling costs and reduce the amount of street noise that comes into your home. You might want to look into that as well.