Commiserate, encourage, pep talk--help

[Garga]

I don't really need anything from anyone, but I'm afraid if I don't write this out somewhere, I'll pop and yell at my student and that wouldn't be productive.  :)

 

My son is turning 14 tomorrow.  We started 9th grade work three weeks ago.  Yes, it's harder than it's ever been, and yes it's not like summer with its long lazy days of no responsibilities.

 

But does he have to sigh and look like he's eating lemons about EVERYTHING to do with school? 

 

The first few days I thought it was because he wasn't liking that we went right from the lazy days of summer into school.  After that I thought maybe he was sort of joking around; putting on an act of the "kid who doesn't want to do school."  I even asked him, "Are you really this sour faced about school or are you just sort of kidding around?"  I half-expected him to give me a grin and say, "Oh, I'm just kidding around," because he is likely to do that.  I was having trouble reading him because he's never been such a downer about school before. I mean, sure, he's fussed a bit, but not about EVERYTHING, all day long.  All day.  Everything.  This is new.

 

He sighs and acts like he's in pain about every single subject.

 

Well, he does like the labs we do for biology.  They are pretty awesome with the new microscope and lots of chemicals and pH paper changing colors and stuff.  He likes that part.  He won't say he loves it, but he says he likes it.  (Plus we wear real lab coats and he really likes that part.)

 

But I'm getting tired of him dragging though the day and making lemon-faces and sighing.  I've asked him to tone it down and he often does, but then it pops back up again. 

 

He fritters away a lot of time just moseying around the house.  Like I'll say, "Ok, go watch this Great Course while I work with your brother," and he moseys into the other room, maybe stopping to stand there and scratch his ankle for a minute, and then pausing to pet a cat, and then slowly looking around for the remote for the tv...  No amount of pointing out that if he'd just move faster he'd get done faster seems to work.

 

Again:  I don't really need anything from anyone. I've been at this long enough to know it's temporary. 

 

But I just have to vent to someone, and I don't want to vent to anyone I know in person.  But if I don't release my frustrations somewhere (like here) it will bubble up and I'll end up yelling or something, "MOVE!  Just MOVE!  Hurry up!"  And then he'll feel persecuted and it will take longer to resolve.

 

Have you BTDT?

 

Edited September 11, 2016 by Garga_

[chiguirre]

Yes! Trinqueta can take 10 minutes to BRUSH HER TEETH. She'll stand there brushing and get lost in a daydream. I guess her teeth will be pearly white...or my hair will.

[almondbutterandjelly]

Yep.  I sit across from dd, and she will be working on math and stop and stare at the tip of her pencil or look at her arm (arms are soooo fascinating).  Then she might glance out the window and then swivel her head looking for the cats.  I either grit my teeth because I know she will get back to things eventually or I say "Do your work" with a pointed glance.

 

Heaven forbid, however, if she has a pimple that day.  All bets are off.  She will leave every half hour or so to stare at it in the mirror.

 

Fun times.

 

Actually, she's a bit better than she was a couple months ago.  And no pimples currently to distract.  

[almondbutterandjelly]

And doesn't every child take 10 minutes or 20 to brush their teeth, while wandering about the house of course?

[Tess in the Burbs]

I wrote out a LONG post yesterday about my 14 year old boy.  I opted not to post it.  Some days are extremely frustrating.  This morning I found a whole chicken on the counter.  He had pulled it out last night to get the applesauce.  Ugh, I had to get it in the oven before church b/c of his inability to finish anything.  I find all sorts of things not finished.  I have to ask about brushing teeth every morning.  If I do not ask, it doesn't happen.  I am so tired of telling him to look around before he leaves a room.  Are the lights out, is food put back in the fridge, did you brush teeth.  Today he left his coat at church.  Seriously, he's so scatterbrained.  

 

I thought I would have more me time this year, but nope.  Not with this kid.  I have to be in the room to keep him on task.  Only positive...he seems to get the fact he can't do the things he loves until school is done.  So while he takes forever to get it done, he is getting it done.  I'm checking work late into the day though.  Not really able to get a part time job as I had hoped b/c he still needs someone reminding him bathroom breaks don't need to be an hour each time.  Really.  

[Ethel Mertz]

14 year old DS. There are days when I want to put the cats in a separate room from him. Petting a cat can take on great urgency during school hours. So can scaring the squirrels away from the bird feeders. I get huge sighs and groans from him as well.

[Reefgazer]

Maybe try backing off on him and letting him manage his own time and see how he does things, with consequences to not get them done? Perhaps he is on a different time clock than you are, and more freedom in managing his own time would get him to where you want him to be, minus the sour face. Give him a planner and teach him to use it, assign the work on Sunday night, and let him run with it. Of course, I would check in once every couple days to see how things are progressing, but ale him work on his own time and in his own way. At the end of the week, if things are not done, start pulling privileges until they are done properly. I have no idea if this will work for your DS, but it's worth a try and by high school he should be taking ownership of his courses and time management anyway.

[Garga]

Maybe try backing off on him and letting him manage his own time and see how he does things, with consequences to not get them done? Perhaps he is on a different time clock than you are, and more freedom in managing his own time would get him to where you want him to be, minus the sour face. Give him a planner and teach him to use it, assign the work on Sunday night, and let him run with it. Of course, I would check in once every couple days to see how things are progressing, but ale him work on his own time and in his own way. At the end of the week, if things are not done, start pulling privileges until they are done properly. I have no idea if this will work for your DS, but it's worth a try and by high school he should be taking ownership of his courses and time management anyway.

 

 

We are 100% working toward this, but are no where near it.  I've been trying to hand things off and it is going very, very badly.  Hence this thread!  :) 

 

But yes, I agree with you that he should have more control.  Right now, when I try to give him control, he gets even worse.  We'll keep working on it, that's for sure.  I have four more years for him to master this. From other threads I've read, there is hope and he'll get it eventually.  He'll figure it out.

 

But it sure is frustrating until then.  :)

[Sunshine State Sue]

BTDT.  This too shall pass.  I used to say that I had to push, pull, drag my bright but unmotivated ds through school work.  I had to be fairly vigilant because he would try to do the minimum and would even cheat sometimes.  Follow your intuition.  Your dedication and perseverance will pay off in the long run.

 

In college, he is much more motivated.

 

:grouphug:

[happypamama]

And doesn't every child take 10 minutes or 20 to brush their teeth, while wandering about the house of course?

I do NOT get this, but several of mine do it too.  Why??  Just stay in the bathroom!

[Guest]

I think it's extremely common. And that doesn't make it any less annoying :p

[happypamama]

Well, you know I do understand.  It's very hard to find the right balance between giving them freedom and making them do stuff.  She has a weekly list for each subject, and to a large degree, she can choose the order.  Not always, but for history, if she's got a chapter to read and outline, some maps to do, and a couple of Great Courses lectures to listen to, she can choose to do any one of those first.  Sometimes she likes that and will choose to listen to a lecture in the evening when she's too tired for reading but not sleepy yet (and ymmv -- audio is much easier for her than visual), and sometimes I think it's just too much freedom.  Too many options.  Six or seven subjects -- how do I choose which one first?  Do I choose to start with a hard-but-fun subject like math while my brain is still fresh, or an involved subject like a history outline to build momentum, or an easy subject like Spanish to get the day started gently?  Sometimes Mom just has to say, "Do this.  Now.  What page are you on?  I'll be back in 30 minutes for a progress report," and that actually works better than my gentle "hey, you really ought to get on that" throughout the day.  In some ways, it's like toddlerhood all over again -- they think they want freedom, but really, they like the boundaries too.  (And I've known many 18yos who had trouble with the transition to weekly/semester syllabi in college, so of course I expect that from my 2Eish teenager.)  We've been at this a few weeks longer than you, and we're getting there.  Bit by bit.  You guys will get there too.

 

Can you sit him down and discuss whether he actually likes the subjects/materials and is just having trouble with getting stuff done, or if he really isn't enjoying the subjects?  I only give so much credence to "I don't like it" or "it's boring," but if a book really isn't reaching the student, then maybe I'd change it.  Around here, though, it's usually more of the "ugh, I just don't feel like sitting down to do it" variety.

 

Also, I think you're probably going through what we went through a couple of years ago because girls tend to hit it earlier: puberty.  Their brains fall out of their heads.  DD is just starting to emerge from that, and DS1 is just starting to hit the very beginnings of it (although he tends to be a little spacey anyway, so it's a little hard to tell).  It's a bit frustrating.  For me, and probably for them too.  Deep breaths.  It will pass.  (And make sure he's getting plenty of sleep, protein/fat, and exercise too, although easier said than done.)  But it'll get better.  By this time next year, we'll all be pros at high school!

 

 

[OnMyOwn]

My dd sent me a link to this the other day. Take a look. You'll love it!

 

https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-best-Facebook-posts-and-images-related-to-Mothers-Day

[Garga]

And doesn't every child take 10 minutes or 20 to brush their teeth, while wandering about the house of course?

 

[G5052]

BTDT.  This too shall pass.  I used to say that I had to push, pull, drag my bright but unmotivated ds through school work.  I had to be fairly vigilant because he would try to do the minimum and would even cheat sometimes.  Follow your intuition.  Your dedication and perseverance will pay off in the long run.

 

In college, he is much more motivated.

 

:grouphug:

 

Very much my experience too. Ninth grade was rocky. But it got better each year, and mine has a 4.0 in college. Go figure!

[Garga]

Huh--it quoted about the brushing teeth while walking around and I typed a message and it deleted it and won't let me edit it.

 

Oh well! I was going to say, "Yup!  Here too!"  but only for my youngest.  My 14 year old loves to stay in the bathroom while he brushes so he can have some alone time watching tv on his ipad.  :)  Brushing can take up to an hour when the ipad is in there. 

 

I don't mind that, though.  I understand wanting alone time (as long as the school work is done.)

Edited September 12, 2016 by Garga

[Garga]

 

 

Can you sit him down and discuss whether he actually likes the subjects/materials and is just having trouble with getting stuff done, or if he really isn't enjoying the subjects?  I only give so much credence to "I don't like it" or "it's boring," but if a book really isn't reaching the student, then maybe I'd change it.  Around here, though, it's usually more of the "ugh, I just don't feel like sitting down to do it" variety.

 

 

 

 

I'll try this.  My gut feeling is that it isn't the books, it's just the transition from lazy summer to bigger-work-load high school.  There's probably also some fear or nervousness about being in high school.

 

Maybe simply having a conversation about it will help him tone down his sighing and pained expressions.  He's not normally like this to this degree so perhaps talking it out with help him. 

[Guest]

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Edited September 9, 2020 by Æthelthryth the Texan

[Carrie12345]

Yes, yes, yes!

 

14yo dd is making me nuts.  13yo, too, but to a slightly less degree.  Slightly (and she's the one with ADD!)

 

She gives me a glimmer of hope here and there, and I'm convinced it's intentional, to keep me from wringing her neck. And then we start the dance over again.

 

 

[Chrysalis Academy]

Well, you know I do understand.  It's very hard to find the right balance between giving them freedom and making them do stuff.  She has a weekly list for each subject, and to a large degree, she can choose the order.  Not always, but for history, if she's got a chapter to read and outline, some maps to do, and a couple of Great Courses lectures to listen to, she can choose to do any one of those first.  Sometimes she likes that and will choose to listen to a lecture in the evening when she's too tired for reading but not sleepy yet (and ymmv -- audio is much easier for her than visual), and sometimes I think it's just too much freedom.  Too many options.  Six or seven subjects -- how do I choose which one first?  Do I choose to start with a hard-but-fun subject like math while my brain is still fresh, or an involved subject like a history outline to build momentum, or an easy subject like Spanish to get the day started gently?  Sometimes Mom just has to say, "Do this.  Now.  What page are you on?  I'll be back in 30 minutes for a progress report," and that actually works better than my gentle "hey, you really ought to get on that" throughout the day.  In some ways, it's like toddlerhood all over again -- they think they want freedom, but really, they like the boundaries too.  (And I've known many 18yos who had trouble with the transition to weekly/semester syllabi in college, so of course I expect that from my 2Eish teenager.)  We've been at this a few weeks longer than you, and we're getting there.  Bit by bit.  You guys will get there too.

 

Can you sit him down and discuss whether he actually likes the subjects/materials and is just having trouble with getting stuff done, or if he really isn't enjoying the subjects?  I only give so much credence to "I don't like it" or "it's boring," but if a book really isn't reaching the student, then maybe I'd change it.  Around here, though, it's usually more of the "ugh, I just don't feel like sitting down to do it" variety.

 

Also, I think you're probably going through what we went through a couple of years ago because girls tend to hit it earlier: puberty.  Their brains fall out of their heads.  DD is just starting to emerge from that, and DS1 is just starting to hit the very beginnings of it (although he tends to be a little spacey anyway, so it's a little hard to tell).  It's a bit frustrating.  For me, and probably for them too.  Deep breaths.  It will pass.  (And make sure he's getting plenty of sleep, protein/fat, and exercise too, although easier said than done.)  But it'll get better.  By this time next year, we'll all be pros at high school!

 

I'm nodding and chuckling along with a lot of posts, mostly re: my dd10, but I had to comment on the bolded.  This is exactly what I found to be true with dd13.  Last year in 8th I had given her a weekly to-do list in a grid format, subjects down the left column and days across the top row, with what she needed to get done each day in each subject. She could decide what order to do things in, and was free to work ahead if she felt motivated and wanted a chunk of free time on a later day. This worked beautifully. Then at the beginning of 9th, in my infinite wisdom I decided she needed more freedom - I'd just give her a list of what needed to be done in each subject by the end of the week.  No problem, right?  Wrong.  She was having a really hard time figuring out how much needed to be done each day to get through her list in a week, and was ending up with a bunch of leftover stuff. She asked to go back to the grid. Which is way easier for me, just a copy & paste from my master schedule. But I thought it was funny, here I thought she'd like more freedom, but nope, the structure of a daily schedule really helped her figure out what she needs to get done and stay on top of it. So I agree, sometimes they need more structure, not less!  It's hard to know exactly how to manage this gradual letting go thing, isn't it?

[SparklyUnicorn]

Mine is 14.  Sing it.  Really.

 

 

[skimomma]

Well, at least it's not just happening at my house.  Everything from teeth-brushing, cat-petting, eye-rolling, and arm-staring.  If I make it to January without losing my mind, I will be shocked.

 

How many years does this typically last?  I need some hope.  

[Chrysalis Academy]

Well, at least it's not just happening at my house.  Everything from teeth-brushing, cat-petting, eye-rolling, and arm-staring.  If I make it to January without losing my mind, I will be shocked.

 

How many years does this typically last?  I need some hope.  

 

Well, my younger dd has been like this since . . . birth.  I fear puberty, i really do. At least if you can blame it on puberty, you know it will end, right?

 

My older dd was a little wiggy from mid-10 to mid-11, when her period started. Surprisingly, that really cleared up the mood swings and fogginess.  I wasn't prepared for the "worst" of it to be so young. But was grateful when she returned to her typical even-keeled self.

 

Younger dd has no typical even-keeled self, so I'm not sure what to expect.

[Dmmetler]

14 year old DS. There are days when I want to put the cats in a separate room from him. Petting a cat can take on great urgency during school hours. So can scaring the squirrels away from the bird feeders. I get huge sighs and groans from him as well.

FWIW, my brother was supposed to be studying for the bar exam and my mother found him lying on the bed, petting the cat. His excuse "The cat DEMANDED that I pet her".

He was 35.

[Garga]

FWIW, my brother was supposed to be studying for the bar exam and my mother found him lying on the bed, petting the cat. His excuse "The cat DEMANDED that I pet her".

He was 35.

 

 

Ok, I might not have laughed out loud, but I am certainly doing a quietly shaking chuckle.  35!!! 

[prairiewindmomma]

Yes!!! 14yob here too. I am laugh-crying that 14 is so dang hard for both parent and child.

[Sunshine State Sue]

I forgot to mention that puberty and menopause don't mix well.  Anyone got both going on at the same time?

[Alte Veste Academy]

I don't really want to talk about the kids, for similar reasons, LOL, but I have to say that as sad as I am, I think I'm going to have to expel the cats from our school. Too bad, really, because they are my favorite students. Seriously though, why is it that you can see them 100x a day and have to exclaim over their cuteness every single time?! And I'm guilty too. Cats. A family addiction. 

 

The kids have got my number. "Mom, kitty needs you." They know that if I lay down to pet the cat, I'm a goner. I'm doing better so far this year. Not even one accidental petting nap! Of course it's only been a week. Still...baby steps.

 

About puberty and (peri)menopause, my youngest (and only pre-pubescent child) has figured out that I'm an all-around better person if there is a fan pointed at me all the time. If I'm grumpy, he knows to look for a fan. LOL

Edited September 12, 2016 by Alte Veste Academy

[SparklyUnicorn]

Although I came to the conclusion that a HUGE part of this is my own anxiety.  Did I do enough over the years?  Am I doing enough?  Did I screw my kid up?  Will I?  Why doesn't he have the same sense of urgency over this stuff that I do? 

 

It was helpful to explain that to him.  He really wants to succeed and do a good job, but he's 14 and he's still learning and he doesn't have the life experiences that I do.  I just wanted him to know that part of my nagging is me wanting things to work out well for him. 

[SkateLeft]

I forgot to mention that puberty and menopause don't mix well.  Anyone got both going on at the same time?

 

OH YES.

 

With both of my girls home all summer we had three adult women in the house, me going through menopause, as well as a teenage son with space cadet style puberty. It was... interesting. My poor husband. ;)

[theelfqueen]

14 year Olds SUCK ... 15 is minutely better.

 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[Guest]

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Edited September 9, 2020 by Æthelthryth the Texan

[theelfqueen]

Yeah. My DH was complaining about our younger two needing to be reminded to brush teeth... so frustrating... and my youngest needs reminding to use shampoo.

 

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[Deee]

This is DS15. Opinionated, passionate, argumentative. Unless that opinion needs to be written down in response to a question. Then he knows nothing. NOTHING!

[bluebonnetgirl]

Amen sisters. 14 year old boy here. Favorite distractions are bugs in the house (gotta spend 30 minutes "rescuing" them, the other day a tiny lizard ran in through the front door... that wasted at least 40 minutes looking for it under cabinets, the UPS man, mailman, solicitors or any person at our door (he's the first one up to chat with them), texts to my phone (busybody HAS to know who it is right now), the bathroom (of Course), and naturally, distracting his brother who is actually trying to work. Sigh...

I think 14 year old boys are genetically programmed to be doing hard physical labor outside, sailing the mighty seas and exploring the world,  or training to be squires or knights, and all this sit down reading, writing, math, and studying is just causing them to go stir crazy.  

Edited September 13, 2016 by bluebonnetgirl

[MysteryJen]

I am in a brief lull between boys. Ds2 is 16 and the fog has lifted a little. He is a diligent worker, but will not do a single extra thing...Ds3 is 12 and still my boy. Sports and carrots (video games, he gets the job done. 14 (and frankly most of 15) is just hard with boys. Physical exercise makes them much more tolerable :)

Dd2 is a freshman at the local ps high school. She is doing fine and just being gone all day has made her more friendly toward her family. True quote: "Well, obviously I would learn more if I homeschooled, but I like hanging out with friends instead of that."

[kathy_overman]

Yes!

 

I am sure you are writing about my son.  I keep telling myself, it is the age.

 

I certainly find that better boundaries (from me/for me), letting him flounder and suffer the consequences, and not yelling at all the things I want to - help to keep the peace.  However, I have not found anything to change the attitude.  We cycle through crummy attitude, correction from me, nice attitude - then 10 minutes later the cycle repeats itself. :huh:   It does help when he exercises!

 

For me, support through books on how to raise teenagers, and taking care of myself are the most important steps to saving my sanity.  

[SparklyUnicorn]

14 year Olds SUCK ... 15 is minutely better.

 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

 

actually here 12 was the worst...he's much better at 14

 

He'll be 15 in January.

[TranquilMind]

It is the age.  It will pass.

[Sunshine State Sue]

For me, support through books on how to raise teenagers, and taking care of myself are the most important steps to saving my sanity.  

Get Out of My Life but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall? by Anthony Wolf.  Recommended on these boards.

Edited September 14, 2016 by Sue in St Pete

[theelfqueen]

actually here 12 was the worst...he's much better at 14

 

He'll be 15 in January.

 

OOH! I think you got lucky - both of my older ones were miserable at 14. Just miserable.

[Susie in CA]

My dd sent me a link to this the other day. Take a look. You'll love it!

 

https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-best-Facebook-posts-and-images-related-to-Mothers-Day

 

Oh my.This so describes how I often feel. :-)

[Pistachio mom]

Wow! I think we all are struggling with a similar thing: teaching our young people that school and life are WORK. Training them how to get the work done, demonstrating a humble attitude, giving accountability as often as needed ( which is several times per day in my house), dishing out natural consequences like loosing points or finishing the unfinished work on Saturday am before anything else is allowed. ..... It is exhausting to be consistent, and consistently kind, and for me not to feel awful when one of my children is so angry with me for "sticking to my guns" about the details and timing of an assignment - or chore for that matter.

 

It is a different dynamic when homeschooling a high school student. We have to teach character and diligence while at the same time preserving the relationship. My children do not have a non-relative picky Jr. High teacher to make them work hard and apply themselves to get the points for following directions about the details -  or even how to take good notes, and study those notes. These study skills, focusing habits, and work habits all have to come from me. It is part of the choice to homeschool - to raise the bar and require hard work. I have to make my girl use a planner, telling her to write in it, requiring that she look at it.... I have to tell her daily (still) to put away her school books. I have to make her stay on the agreed schedule unless she has my permission to change it.  Teaching organization to someone so resistant to any type of structure is definitely a job. She does not have to grow up to think like me, but I have to give her a point of departure. I can't let her flounder any old way she wants to and be unprepared for the future. She can organize her time any way she wants in the future. But for now, since she needs guidance - she has to follow my requirements. And I am seeing so much progress! It is encouraging.  In our house, it helps to get reinforcement by using study skills courses like Victus; and this year we did the DVD from BJ Press by Lesa Siebert. I like the BJ one better even though it is an older recording.  Ms. Siebert explains the WORK part of high school in such a great and detailed way. She is also fun to listen to. Also, it has helped for us to use online classes for a couple subjects in order to have good lectures from which to learn and have someone (not Mom) giving the assignments.

 

I am re-reading the Sam Crabtree book Practicing Affirmation. It is helpful for me to refocus so that I can encourage and admonish in a godly way. Honestly, as an adult, I still struggle with focusing and organization. Studying something hard that I do not like is not something I look forward to. ( my feelings about gathering tax information...) I can have compassion with my young person while still requiring her to work. Dealing with heart attitudes behind dawdling, laziness, and right out refusing to follow the directions given are all part of my job as her teacher and parent.

 

The book above has a story that has helped me deal with the blank staring off into space that all of my children do during school work time: "Wow, you look deep in thought! It is a great thing to be a thinker. Are you thinking about your work or something else...." These conversations bring my girls back to reality with a smile.

 

Another great one from our violin teacher:  "Honey, that was not poor, but it lacked energy..."  Our violin teacher is consistently so precise and kind at the same time!

 

May all of us "not be weary in well doing; for in due season, we shall reap if we faint not..."

Edited September 14, 2016 by Pistachio mom

[bethben]

Their brains are melting and reforming. I told my 12 year old last night that it's like his brain is going through a total remodel- gutting the walls down to the studs so it can build a better home. Still totally annoying. My 16 is like this but getting better. Still--we'll tell up the stairs that we have to go in 5 minutes. Only then does he jump in the shower because he was too distracted to think of it previously.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Janice in NJ]

BTDT.  Yes, it will pass. 

 

May I offer some advice? Focus your school work AND your school day on OUTPUT not input!  When generating assignments each morning, ask yourself, "What proof of learning will make ME FEEL like this boy WORKED today?"

 

If most of the day's assignments were input assignments (reading, watching lectures, half-hearted "discussions" where I generated most of the the ideas, etc), then I always felt like something was missing - EVEN IF THE BOY WORKED QUICKLY and EFFICIENTLY. 

 

However, if I could sit there at the end of the day and SEE output - two pages of a really rough draft (as in this is a complete mess but at least it's something), three pages of math problems, a ready-for-tomorrow's-lab-report data-sheet for a science lab, and a voice recording of the boy's thoughts/summary of the lecture he watched.

 

IF I could SEE his output, then I felt better about the day. I suspect he did too. 

 

When I nagged the 14-year old about his attitude towards work, I got NO WHERE. When I told him exactly what I wanted to SEE at the end of the next hour, we got SOME WHERE.

NEVER WHERE I WANTED TO BE, mind you.   :glare:  However, something happened. And sometimes, that's all I needed!

 

Focus on something you both can see.

 

I wish you well; I do. And I can offer encouragement that your persistence will pay off. My boys are both doing well. No regrets! 

 

Peace,

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey