Rant against some of the homeschool community culture and values. I'm venting.......

[RoughCollie]

I bribed my sons to get Mohawks. They wanted them at first, we were at Mohawk Trail, DH was not with us and he is ultra-conservative so it would be a great joke to play on him, the hair would grow out --- and no takers. Not even when I said I'd get one myself *after* they had their hair cut. I meant it, too, because if I didn't, I said I'd give them $10K and I sure didn't have *that*.

 

It never dawned on me that anyone would reject my kids for having Mohawks.

 

If there was a hair rule before your son started the class, that's one thing. To spring it on you two now is just plain wrong. Besides which, I think the student who is distracted from his or her studies by another student's haircut is the problem.

 

RC

[gardenschooler]

Yeah, I totally cannot concentrate if someone's hairstyle doesn't line up with my belief system.

What, is he waving the hawk in their eyes so they can't see their papers? Is he grooming himself so kids can't see the teacher? Who are these kids who have such delicate attention spans that they absolutely cannot concentrate if someone has a hawk in the same room?:confused:

I guess you can tell on which side of this issue I fall. I am constantly amazed at the ability of some to turn molehills into mountains (speaking of the coop, here, Joanne, not you. Good luck.

 

:lol: My dd14 has some colorful highlights in her hair. Last year at our end of the year party, she showed up with her new 'do, and I could tell from the looks on their faces that some of the moms were a bit taken aback.

 

We aren't in it right now, so I don't know if they added rules about hair. There is a dress code (which I don't think is in the same category, really), but nothing so far about hair.

 

I would have a big problem if rules suddenly changed in the middle of the year, which sounds like that's the case with Joanne. If the dress code doesn't specifically spell out that 'no mohawks allowed' before they take your money, I wouldn't think they could ask that now.

[Hillary in KS]

Just a thought....

 

Because I'm semi-snarky by nature, this is probably what ds and I would decide to do:

 

Show up to class every week in church clothes, and wearing a men's wig. (Find one that's inexpensive, and conservative. Costume shops, etc.) Nothing awful or attention-getting, but simply something he could place on his head during classes and then take off when he gets in the car. Distraction is gone and ds gets to take the class and keep the mohawk.

 

When the semester, or the school year, is over we would then decide whether or not to re-enroll next year.

[HRAAB]

I didn't read any of the other posts, but wanted to say my dd has had a mohawk in the past, and with unique colors. Pink, green, purple, bleached. She knew that there would be those who might exclude her, and there definitely have been. I don't mind about the dress codes with different groups because we knew about those beforehand. What does bother me is the judgment, and yes, there is judgment. Unfortunately for those few who want to judge based on her hair, they are missing out on knowing a very bright, kind, caring, intelligent young woman. Their loss. I'm sure it's the same in your son's case.

 

She has given up the mohawk, but she has several piercings and a tattoo. She holds down two part-time jobs and is working her way through college. Too bad it's so hard for some people to see the whole package and just focus on these smaller things such as hair. I too decided never to make an issue out of hair. Not worth it in the long run.

 

Your son isn't alone.

 

Janet

[PariSarah]

. . . don't.

 

On the other hand, great learning experience for him. His choice to have a mohawk shouldn't make any difference in the world. But in the world we live in, it does. He gets a fairly gentle introduction into the very grown-up world of self-presentation and prejudice. His choices about his appearance do affect how he is perceived, and he gets to learn how to navigate those choices in the relatively safe world that you're able to provide for him. They're wrong, sort of, but he gets to choose how to deal with their unfair preconceptions.

 

If any parent can walk him through his choices non-judgmentally, I know you can! I hope it's not too difficult a process for you both. :grouphug:

 

(BTW: this may not be where you want to go with this, but the FIRST place my mind goes is racial and ethnic prejudice. Your son's haircut was his choice; he has a degree of control over people's perception of him, even when they are disposed wrongly to judge people's appearance. Imagine when you can't control others' perception of you. Imagine when you can't change your skin color or accent or whatever it is that makes people judge you wrongly. That'd be another interesting conversation to have with him.)

[gardenschooler]

Just a thought....

 

Because I'm semi-snarky by nature, this is probably what ds and I would decide to do:

 

Show up to class every week in church clothes, and wearing a men's wig. (Find one that's inexpensive, and conservative. Costume shops, etc.) Nothing awful or attention-getting, but simply something he could place on his head during classes and then take off when he gets in the car. Distraction is gone and ds gets to take the class and keep the mohawk.

 

When the semester, or the school year, is over we would then decide whether or not to re-enroll next year.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Quiver0f10]

I didn''t see Joanne answer the question @ the school having a already policy in place regarding hair. I am assuming they do and have to side with the school. It's their school & policy and not everyone is going to agree with it and then they can choose to either join or conform to the policy.

 

Now, if there is no policy already in place then that's a whole nother story :001_smile:

[Jill- OK]

:lol::lol::lol:

 

LOL...showing up in a wig is a hilarious idea.

 

As far as the spaghetti straps/midriff baring thing...I'm with those who see this as a different issue.

 

But just for the record, if it wasn't in the dress code to begin with...I wouldn't say a word to any young lady that came in dressed 'immodestly'. But, if it was in a dress code, then, yeah...it should be enforced.

Edited October 3, 2008 by Jill, OK

[Michele B]

My thoughts about judgement - That's what people do. If you have a huge nose or acne - that's not a reflection of you on the inside. But the way you present yourself - clothes, hair, speech, makeup, jewelry - is your statement about who you are and what you are. I cannot understand the surprise that people judge based on your hairstyle or clothing - those are things you have complete control over. Look around the world. Humans have always used clothing, jewelry, hair, and tattoos to tell people how they want to be perceived. I won't make a judgement about you because you have fat ankles, but how you adorn or groom yourself is how you want me to see you.

I was at a co-op last year where the biggest rule was tucked-in shirts. I laughed at first. It made a huge difference in attitude. Sometimes for children, the surrender of will to dress code is the submission to authority. I grew up in Athens, Ga. I am still amused by the college students who come and express their individuality by all dressing in the same way. Their alternative culture 'uniform" identifies them as differnt than the girls in twinsets and pearls. Your look - the one you cultivate - whether it be clothes or hair or tattoos - is your first introduction. It. just. is.

Edited October 3, 2008 by Michele B

[Jennifer3141]

Because people do it, doesn't make it right.

 

People molest kids. People murder.

 

I'm surprised to see that argument. It's nice you wouldn't judge someone for "fat ankles" but others would. Would you speak up against that?

 

Jen

[Michele B]

Yes, Jennifer, I would and do speak against that.

There are two different thing I was trying to point out. There are parts of our appearance that we have no control over and should not be judged about. Just like I said in the above post. Acne, body shape, etc. As I said, there are parts of our appearance we cultivate - our hair, our clothing etc. As, I said, that is the image of ourselves that we promote.

 

The 'is it okay to murder" comment is slightly hysterical.

 

People make judgements on what they see everyday. That is how our brain works. I live in an area with many hippies and many German Baptists. I can look at them and JUDGE which group they belong to.

Edited October 3, 2008 by Michele B

[Riverfront Headmistress]

I understand. I allow my kids to get their hair hi-lighted strange colors (pink, blue, purple, etc) - they also have 2 ear piercings which make people :confused:

 

Its okay though; once the :confused: people see all my tattoos they understand. :D

[Jennifer3141]

There are lots of people who think that being fat opens up that person to public and very hurtful, judging. After all, can't they just stop eating?

 

So you're against that kind of thinking but support those who would cruelly judge a kid's HAIR?

 

Aren't both pretty darn silly?

 

Jen

[StaceyinLA]

My girls have been judged in our hs group in the past for wearing V-NECK shirts! I mean, really, do all trashy "hoes" wear v-necks?? :tongue_smilie:

 

I have gotten so disgusted with the judgmental legalistic garbage (and I'm REALLY conservative in a lot of ways, but very outspoken which, apparently, gets on people's nerves) that we are basically out of the group except for really rare occasions.

 

I am just so sorry you're having to deal with that judgmental crap!

[JennifersLost]

I would tell your son the truth: that people are stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And that he's going to meet stupid people every day for the rest of his life.

Anyone who has the time of day to think for more than a second about someone else's hair style is definitely NOT working hard enough to contribute to the greater good. Any school that's going to hurt a child's feelings for the sake of conformity obviously has mischief-making on its mind.

 

Yank him out of that school and find him a MORAL group to spend his time with. Children are too precious to expose to that kind of evil.

[Unicorn.]

Joanne, I totally understand your views about the hairstyle. It's not a hill I want to die on either (but don't tell ds).

 

But. You chose to enroll your ds in a class at a conservative christian school. It doesn't surprise me that they have a problem w/ it. Tell your ds that it s@cks, but take the opportunity to explain that when he's an adult, where he chooses to be employed, will most likely have a dress code. It might be business attire, bus. casual, some type of uniform, or really casual, but there will most likely be something.

 

Hugs to both of you, I'm sorry that he can't just be himself right now without the hassle.

[Chika]

Joanne, I've had a few hours now and I want to apologize for jumping into opinion sharing and instructive mode .... I should have honored your first line where you said your post was a *rant*. We all need a good rant, to be sure, once in awhile! And honestly, yours is valid -- if there IS a rule, there perhaps shouldn't be and if there's NOT a rule, then you have a point (and your son shouldn't have to change his hairstyle).

[HollyDay]

This is very frustrating to me too!!! Personally, not so much for my dc.

 

I am a conservative Christian who wears jean shorts, leather bracelets and the occasional toe ring. I have faced so many "looks" that it makes me mad! I dress modestly - my jean shorts are not "daisy dukes" and my shirts are not hanging down to my belly button. But the fact that I wear - *gasp* - shorts - does not welcome in the ankle length jumper crowd.

 

I was just telling my pastor this week how frustrating this whole appearance thing is getting. My gf wont attend our church because the pastor's wife wears sleeveless dresses that are "too short". Another gf wont attend another group because of the "spirit of feminism due to women with short hair". We recently had a child drop out of ballet because the mother felt that leo and tights is not modest. Just this week, another girl left gymnastics because they wouldnt let her wear a baggy T-shirt and baggy shorts (hello- safety??).

 

I am NOT bashing anyone who is convicted of dressing in certain ways. If you feel you are led to dress a certain way and your dh is supportive - AWESOME! BUT, not everyone shares this belief. We are becoming such a polarized society. Is it really worth a fight over hair length??

 

On a side note. Our youth pastor 2 states ago started his Christian walk with a mohawk. He was saved out of a rather interesting lifestyle. He has tattoos too. Several folks did not want him to work or volunteer at the church "until his hair got better". Hello!! This young man was a powerful witness. He went places that would probably curl my rather straight hair and talked to men who would scare me silly. He boldly presented the gospel wherever he went with a love and respect I rarely see or hear. Yet, all so many church goers could see was his "rebel hairstyle and lightening tattoo on his arm".

 

Sorry, to share your vent, but it touched a spot for me too.

[Remudamom]

I don't really know what to say about the school's decision since there are often certain dress code guidelines -- even in public school.

 

Obviously, you have every right to either approve or disapprove of your son's hairstyle, but I'll be the unpopular one here and say I would not allow my son to have that sort of hairstyle and would question why he would want to. I just cannot imagine what would possess one of my sons to decide to have a hairstyle like that, or have long hair, or pierce anything, or tattoo anything. I'm not saying it's a moral issue -- just not the appearance I would want for my sons. Our teens are expected to be preparing for manhood, and I really think this sort of appearance is not something they would pursue when on the path to marriage and job considerations.

 

But, it's perfectly fine with me if you want your son to have a mohawk.

 

I agree with you. I think mohawks look stupid. I think they're embarrassing. Excessive piercings and too many tats to me just scream "Look at me, I don't get enough attention, I'm not secure." I'd really be concerned if one of mine wanted something like that.

[dawn of ns]

I agree with you. I think mohawks look stupid. I think they're embarrassing. Excessive piercings and too many tats to me just scream "Look at me, I don't get enough attention, I'm not secure." I'd really be concerned if one of mine wanted something like that.

 

I think too much gets read into this. Kids I know who have mohawks tend to get them because they like the style. No need to burden their choices with our preconceptions.

[Kay in Cal]

Yeah, I totally cannot concentrate if someone's hairstyle doesn't line up with my belief system.

What, is he waving the hawk in their eyes so they can't see their papers? Is he grooming himself so kids can't see the teacher? Who are these kids who have such delicate attention spans that they absolutely cannot concentrate if someone has a hawk in the same room?:confused:

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I agree with others... if the "rule" is new and just about one kid, I'd fight it. Otherwise I'd just opt out. Of course, at your ds's age, it probably is up to him in the long run.

 

IMHO, it isn't worth it to be part of a group that is so shallow it sets more store by appearance than by behavior and character.

[Lovedtodeath]

I stopped reading replies after the first 4 or so...

 

On the haircut... People who have these types of hairstyles are purposely choosing to stand out, so any extra attention they get as a result is being asked for. (Not judging, I was one of these people in High School.) However, the school trying to establish a rule and make your son comply when they did not state this as a rule up front is not acceptable.

 

Would you have the same response if the issue was girls wearing spaghetti strap midriff tank tops?

 

That is a completely different issue. Having a haircut designed to draw attention is not the same as a shirt that draws attention by arousing s*xual desire.

[Aggie]

Coming in late here :)

 

As a former ps teacher, I will say that in the context of a class, appearance does matter. So much so that several public schools around here now have a rather strict dress code.

 

It's not that all people who sport tats or mohawks or multiple pierces are rowdy, but there can be that perception. It's different teaching a roomful of students than it is sitting down for coffee with someone and getting to know someone.

 

I wouldn't at all say that teachers or schools who have a dress code are stupid, immoral, shallow or evil. No more than I would say that about a pastor who wears a robe or a mom who wears lipstick or fixes her hair fashionably.

 

It seems the tolerant posters are being very intolerant this evening.

[sunshine]

And I will tell you why:

when I was a teen in the 80s, mohawks reminded me of the bands like (I know I am going to get this wrong), Queen, White Fang, anything that had like rebellious people.

When I see a mohawk, I see a rebellious kid and I don't want my kids around them.

 

I believe that if my child is representing Christ, he must avoid all appearance of evil (I Thess 5:22). If I go to a country and they believe that the color red is evil, and I know this, wouldn't it be disrespectful to say to those who believe that "Hey, I am a good person, my walk is strong, I have a right to dress the way I want". Although all of that may be true, I am not living as Christ would have me to live. I am not reflecting the love of Christ which is one of caring for the feelings of others. Yes, I may think I deserve the same treatment and the people who believe that red is evil should show me the same, but the truth is, Christ will judge them, and you for how you behave, not how you should have been treated.

 

The mohawk in itself is harmless, even if I think it looks ugly as does most of the country, but it does bring to mind rebellion. And I don't think that is the way we glorify God, by giving the appearance of rebellion. I would be appalled if people thought the way I wear my hair spoke of rebellion against society, Christianity or the SPCA, it wouldn't matter, I have to look and think of what my witness is, what it looks like to unbelievers and believers alike. Only in doing that do I represent Christ. He is not one who ran around with the crowd doing all the latest fads that I am sure were around even then, maybe the way they saddled their camels or tied their beards back, who knows? Plato or Aristotle, I can't remember which lamented in his generation of the rebellious youth with little regard for polite society.

 

Look at the purpose of the mohawk, is it to stand out? we are not to draw attention to ourselves with our outward appearance, but with a humble and Christlike life.

Is it to irritatate adults? We are told to honor our elders

Is it to lead others to Christ? If he were in a country or area where he was a missionary and it was to fit in then fine, but at a Christian Co-Op?

 

Is it just to see how it would look? Hey, my son's best friend did it for a big Boy Scout campout, that was fine, we took pictures, but it came off before church because in his heart he knew it would be dishonoring God to not go into His house looking his best.

 

I am sure your child is great, but truthfully, unless he had like a specific temporary purpose that was for fun (like the Indian Dance my son's friend had to perform that weekend), I am not sure I would want my kids to have more than a passing association with him because he has the appearance of rebellion. Mohawks are associated with the world, we are told to "come out from among them, and be ye separate.." (2 Cor. 6:17).

In conclusion, my point being that although a mohawk in itself is not a sin, it could be construed as a heart that is susceptible to a sinful life. The whole appearance of evil thing again.

 

Alright, let me have it for not espousing individualism, judging outward appearances etc. I am prepared when I speak from my heart and truth.

 

I really mean this to help, not to be harsh, I hope you will take it in the manner which my heart is speaking to you and your son,who is precious to you.

Edited October 3, 2008 by sunshine
grammar

[Kris]

Maybe it's poking them in the eye? :rofl:

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Sorry -- back to your regularly schedule programming --

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Kris]

I didn't see that the question of whether or not this was policy from the beginning has not been answered. So I'll just speculate.

 

But I cal THE CALL. His haircut is "somewhat of a distraction in the hallways" and in class. :confused1::confused1:

So here, I'm figuring there's no policy -- they're making it up as they go along. But *here* --

 

He's "required" to have a "conservative look". He can't wear a baseball cap. He's been asked to "flatten or cut down" his hawk.

The use of the word "required" makes me think there *is* some kind of policy in place and TPTB have decided a mohawk violates it. So I'm going on that.

 

If this was our family -- and it wouldn't be, but if it was -- I'd leave it up to The Kid to choose: The Hair or The Class.

 

Frankly, I think the whole thing is ridiculous. I admit to doing a double-take at some of the things kids are doing -- and hasn't it always been that way? -- but when you're walking down the street, you don't have a chance to do much of anything else. The last couple of years, though, I've had a chance to actually get to know some "well-ornamented" people, mostly kids, but some adults who have permanent decorations -- tats and the like -- and I think it's been a good experience!

 

I can think of a lot of things that are worth taking issue with -- a hair cut isn't one of them. But if it's policy, oh well!

[emeraldjoy]

I personally think if mohawks were around when Jesus walked physically on this earth that he would have, most definatley, been hanging out with those who chose to wear them....

 

I mean really, if Christianity is part of this conversation, what does Jesus really think of the Mohawk? I'd prefer to think that he is spending his time say....healing the brokenhearted and the sick and such. I don't know, I may be off here........

 

Just a funny

We call our middle son Mo (short for his big name). When he and his sister were about 2 and 3 and we were doing the shampoo mohawks thingys in the bathtub she was convinced that she needed a "jada" hawk; well why not if he got a "mo"hawk.

blessings.

e

Edited October 3, 2008 by emeraldjoy
spelling

[Lovedtodeath]

I believe that if my child is representing Christ, he must avoid all appearance of evil (I Thess 5:22). If I go to a country and they believe that the color red is evil, and I know this, wouldn't it be disrespectful to say to those who believe that "Hey, I am a good person, my walk is strong, I have a right to dress the way I want". Although all of that may be true, I am not living as Christ would have me to live. I am not reflecting the love of Christ which is one of caring for the feelings of others. The mohawk in itself is harmless, even if I think it looks ugly as does most of the country, but it does bring to mind rebellion. Look at the purpose of the mohawk, is it to stand out? we are not to draw attention to ourselves with our outward appearance, but with a humble and Christlike life. Is it to irritatate adults? We are told to honor our elders

Is it to lead others to Christ? If he were in a country or area where he was a missionary and it was to fit in then fine, but at a Christian Co-Op?

 

Let's remember how hard it is to communicate effectively without voices, body language, dialogue, etc. While these thoughts are Bible based, they could be pulled together differently... are we sure the OP is a Christian? Well, at least it does do a good job of explaining the viewpoint of the Christian school.

 

I personally think if mohawks were around when Jesus walked physically on this earth that he would have, most definately, been hanging out with those who chose to wear them....

 

I mean really, if Christianity is part of this conversation, what does Jesus really think of the Mohawk? I'd prefer to think that he is spending his time say....healing the brokenhearted and the sick and such. I don't know, I may be off here........

 

 

Jesus thoughts on any subject are reflected in the Holy Scriptures. The apostle Paul made a point of fitting in with whatever group of people he was with to reach them in his ministry. A humble spirit, consideration of others and modest appearance are praised in the scriptures in numerous ways. God took the time to author the scriptures with this information in them.

Edited October 3, 2008 by Lovedtodeath

[Frankie]

Wow, I cannot believe some of the responses to this thread.

 

It's just HAIR, for Pete's sake.

 

You know, come to think of it, every single depiction I've ever seen of Jesus, he's sporting long hair. Hmmm.

 

To the original poster: You have EVERY right to vent. I'd fight this tooth and nail. Hugs to you and your DS for having to endure this, and for also receiving judgment.

[sunshine]

While these thoughts are Bible based, are we sure the OP is a Christian? Well, it does do a good job of explaining the viewpoint of the Christian school.

 

I am sorry what does OP mean? Did you mean Co-Op? I am not good with abbreviations that I have not made up!:001_unsure: man I love these smiley's!

 

Jesus thoughts on any subject are reflected in the Holy Scriptures. The apostle Paul made a point of fitting in with whatever group of people he was with to reach them in his ministry. A humble spirit, consideration of others and modest appearance are praised in the scriptures in numerous ways. God took the time to author the scriptures with this information in them.

 

The Apostle Paul is the one who said "come out from among them" 2Cor 6:17, so he may have mingled with all groups he did not associate himself with them so as to be identified among them. He evangelized not conformed or became apart of. And Jesus was compassionate to people's lost state but not tolerant of their life. He told them to stop and sin no more. (John 8:11). So according to the scriptures, I don't believe that Christ would have sported a mohawk or the Apostle Paul would have worn one to fit in. A modest appearance was high on his list of acceptable appearances. And by no ones standard is a nmohawk a modest appearance.

 

There I go getting all loud and stuff. I need to go to be and not be so grumpy. I do find myself caring so much for the people on this board, How WEIRD. I have never met you!! And by the way, no one asked me how my weekend was at the Lord Of The Rings Bilbo Baggins 111th Birthday Celebration Recreation was.......gonna go get my feelings hurt and stuff.....

[Frankie]

I respect that you are entitled to your opinion. I completely disagree with you, but that isn't the point.

 

I'm just curious why you think most of the country thinks Mohawks look ugly? Do you have evidence to support such a statement?

 

I happen to think Mohawks are cute. In my small town, Mohawks are very popular at the moment. I see then every time I go out. It's a fad, which will soon fade, then come back some day, then fade.

 

 

 

And I will tell you why:

when I was a teen in the 80s, mohawks reminded me of the bands like (I know I am going to get this wrong), Queen, White Fang, anything that had like rebellious people.

When I see a mohawk, I see a rebellious kid and I don't want my kids around them.

 

I believe that if my child is representing Christ, he must avoid all appearance of evil (I Thess 5:22). If I go to a country and they believe that the color red is evil, and I know this, wouldn't it be disrespectful to say to those who believe that "Hey, I am a good person, my walk is strong, I have a right to dress the way I want". Although all of that may be true, I am not living as Christ would have me to live. I am not reflecting the love of Christ which is one of caring for the feelings of others. Yes, I may think I deserve the same treatment and the people who believe that red is evil should show me the same, but the truth is, Christ will judge them, and you for how you behave, not how you should have been treated.

 

The mohawk in itself is harmless, even if I think it looks ugly as does most of the country, but it does bring to mind rebellion. And I don't think that is the way we glorify God, by giving the appearance of rebellion. I would be appalled if people thought the way I wear my hair spoke of rebellion against society, Christianity or the SPCA, it wouldn't matter, I have to look and think of what my witness is, what it looks like to unbelievers and believers alike. Only in doing that do I represent Christ. He is not one who ran around with the crowd doing all the latest fads that I am sure were around even then, maybe the way they saddled their camels or tied their beards back, who knows? Plato or Aristotle, I can't remember which lamented in his generation of the rebellious youth with little regard for polite society.

 

Look at the purpose of the mohawk, is it to stand out? we are not to draw attention to ourselves with our outward appearance, but with a humble and Christlike life.

Is it to irritatate adults? We are told to honor our elders

Is it to lead others to Christ? If he were in a country or area where he was a missionary and it was to fit in then fine, but at a Christian Co-Op?

 

Is it just to see how it would look? Hey, my son's best friend did it for a big Boy Scout campout, that was fine, we took pictures, but it came off before church because in his heart he knew it would be dishonoring God to not go into His house looking his best.

 

I am sure your child is great, but truthfully, unless he had like a specific temporary purpose that was for fun (like the Indian Dance my son's friend had to perform that weekend), I am not sure I would want my kids to have more than a passing association with him because he has the appearance of rebellion. Mohawks are associated with the world, we are told to "come out from among them, and be ye separate.." (2 Cor. 6:17).

In conclusion, my point being that although a mohawk in itself is not a sin, it could be construed as a heart that is susceptible to a sinful life. The whole appearance of evil thing again.

 

Alright, let me have it for not espousing individualism, judging outward appearances etc. I am prepared when I speak from my heart and truth.

 

I really mean this to help, not to be harsh, I hope you will take it in the manner which my heart is speaking to you and your son,who is precious to you.

[chaik76]

I agree with you. I think mohawks look stupid. I think they're embarrassing. Excessive piercings and too many tats to me just scream "Look at me, I don't get enough attention, I'm not secure." I'd really be concerned if one of mine wanted something like that.

I'd like to respectfully disagree. I have tattoos because I like the way they look. Piercings because I like the way they look. And I have a funky hairstyle...because I like the way it looks.

Do I get odd looks sometimes...absolutely. I just don't really care. Other people can choose to look however they want to. So can I.

[sunshine]

I respect that you are entitled to your opinion. I completely disagree with you, but that isn't the point.

 

I'm just curious why you think most of the country thinks Mohawks look ugly? Do you have evidence to support such a statement?

 

I happen to think Mohawks are cute. In my small town, Mohawks are very popular at the moment. I see then every time I go out. It's a fad, which will soon fade, then come back some day, then fade.

 

 

You know, I don't have any evidence of that at all. So forgive me for offending the Mohawk lovers!!

 

I have not ever met anyone over 18 who think they are anything but ugly so I based my opinion on that. But now I have!! PTL!

 

I really didn't expect the majority of this board to agree with me. I am good with that, most people don't agree with my parenting either, but they sure believe all my kids are unbelievable,and there must be something in the water at my house because all their permissive parenting doesn't turn out quite the same result. And it couldn't be how I raise them. So it stands to reason that child centered parenting doesn't reflect the same beliefs as my parenting philosophy. But then we are not all clones are we??? And thanks to the sweet emails I received about my answer. You saw the heart of it. OOh I am grumpy now. Nite Nite dear ones.

[Lovedtodeath]

The main reason for my post was to point out Scriptural thoughts in a gentle, non-threatening way, not necessarily to the OP, but to others who have commented on the thread expressing interest in the Christian view.

 

Let's remember how hard it is to communicate effectively without voices, body language, dialogue, etc. A humble spirit, consideration of others and modest appearance are praised in the scriptures in numerous ways. God took the time to author the scriptures with this information in them.

 

Um, Sunshine? I am trying to agree with you. I promise. Can't you see that? My point about Paul was that the OP (original post, or poster) was about a boy who is not sporting a mohawk in order to reach others. I was trying to mediate a tiny bit. Guess I won't try to help.:auto:

Edited October 3, 2008 by Lovedtodeath
I worded things wrongly. Sorry Sunshine. :(

[sunshine]

The main reason for my post was to point out Scriptural thoughts in a gentle, non-threatening way, not necessarily to the OP, but to others who have commented on the thread expressing interest in the Christian view.

 

 

 

Um, Sunshine? I am not your enemy here. I promise. Can't you see that? My point about Paul was that the OP (original post, or poster) was about a boy who is not sporting a mohawk in order to reach others. I was trying to mediate a tiny bit. Guess I won't try to help.:auto:

 

 

Help Help me not to be grumpy and not express my thoughts so harshly!!

I did not mean it sound like I was confronting or correcting you harshly!!

Please forgive me!!:blushing:

[sunshine]

That is what OP means!! original poster!! I really need to read those abbreviations!! I promise fellow WTMers I will!!

[Lovedtodeath]

We all get that way sometimes. :grouphug: I know I am not innocent.

[Lovedtodeath]

The Apostle Paul is the one who said "come out from among them" 2Cor 6:17, so he may have mingled with all groups he did not associate himself with them so as to be identified among them. He evangelized not conformed or became apart of. And Jesus was compassionate to people's lost state but not tolerant of their life. He told them to stop and sin no more. (John 8:11). So according to the scriptures, I don't believe that Christ would have sported a mohawk or the Apostle Paul would have worn one to fit in. A modest appearance was high on his list of acceptable appearances. And by no ones standard is a nmohawk a modest appearance.

 

There I go getting all loud and stuff. I need to go to be and not be so grumpy. I do find myself caring so much for the people on this board, How WEIRD. I have never met you!! And by the way, no one asked me how my weekend was at the Lord Of The Rings Bilbo Baggins 111th Birthday Celebration Recreation was.......gonna go get my feelings hurt and stuff.....

 

I agree with the above about Jesus and Paul. I think the last paragraph is funny. It is hard to express ourselves on here. The line between witty and rude is very thin and in different places for different people.

Edited October 3, 2008 by Lovedtodeath

[JWSJ]

My son is hurt, baffled and angry. So am I.

 

Don't mind them. Busy bodies... if all they can worry about is his hair.

 

Just imagine what they say to ugly people...

 

And they are thinking it.

[RenayofRohan]

So do they have a dress code or not? I don't see where you've answered this.

 

If they do, you should abide by their rules.

 

If they don't, I don't think they should be changing their rules as the year progresses.

 

 

Yes, I agree.

 

There have been many times when I've just been aching to drag someone to the bathroom and fix their hair. Usually at a homeschool support meeting, actually.

 

Generally it's a conservative woman with boring, long, lank hair, dragged from her face in a horribly unattractive and harsh style. I've spent entire meetings giving people make-overs in my mind. Cutting in some layers, putting in some highlights, texturing it with some putty, adding a nice fringe to soften the features.....

 

Conservative hair is SO distracting.

 

One time I was at a homeschool convention, sitting in a class and trying to listen to the guest speaker. I was seated behind a homeschool mama with hair so long that her hair strands were actually going into my glass of water which was situated on the floor behind her chair and in front of me by my sandals. Talk about distracting! :lol: :tongue_smilie:

[Karenciavo]

Wow, I cannot believe some of the responses to this thread.

 

Could you be more specific? Are you against following established rules or are you speaking about the couple of posts that sided with no mohawk either way?

[Soph the vet]

I have only read a couple of pages of the posts so maybe I am repeating someone else.

Isn't it great that God looks at the heart and not on man's outward appearance? Wouldn't it be great if we could do the same.

If your son's mohawk is a heart issue (rebellion) then it should be lovingly confronted, but if it is not a heart issue then let him wear one.

Personally, I would draw the line at tatoos and piercings as they have more permanent consequences that sound great at 17 and are regretful to some at 40. Modesty is a hill I would die on, but not hair color or length.

[Michele B]

Personally, I would draw the line at tatoos and piercings as they have more permanent consequences that sound great at 17 and are regretful to some at 40. Modesty is a hill I would die on, but not hair color or length.

 

Soph has a opinions on where the line is drawn; others have expressed that the line should be drawn at clean or insect-free hair. That's my point. Most people draw a line somewhere. You can't call someone judgemental just because they draw their line at a different place than you would

[Lizzie in Ma]

But if they let him join the co-op with the mohawk, and it isn't expressly stated in a written policy, then they may have an opinion but it shouldn't be enforceable.

[Just Another Jen]

Joanne, I don't have an answer for you, people are dumb. My oldest had a mohawk and then blue hair, green hair and then a practically shaved head. He got the hawk when he was 14. Now he's 17 and he laughs about the whole thing. He's very into punk music and I'm sure that when he pulls together enough money (and is 18) he'll get a tatoo.

In our area its unusual, when he would walk our youngest to the park- cars would actually slow down because they were staring at him. He's an accomplished fly fisherman and you should have seen the old guys stare as he stood in the river at 6am with his waders on!

Now our second son is 14- and he wants a mohawk. Our saying around here is- Its your hair. By the way I have 4 sons so someday I'll probably have one of those picture compiliation things with 14 year old boys in mohawks. My brother had a mohawk in my wedding pictures.

I guess my point is if its against their rules see if he'll just wear his hair down for class. My boys have done that for scouts (so they could wear their hats). As someone else said its a good life lesson. But, I do see how you could use a good vent. If it were me I'd be just as frustrated.

[HRAAB]

When I see a mohawk, I see a rebellious kid and I don't want my kids around them.

 

Yes, this is the kind of judgment I have seen and felt and been hurt by.

 

Rebellion need not be worn on the outside. Rebellion can simmer on the inside of the most clean cut Christian kid in your church. Thankfully, God will judge by the heart.

 

Janet

[PrairieAir]

So according to the scriptures, I don't believe that Christ would have sported a mohawk or the Apostle Paul would have worn one to fit in. A modest appearance was high on his list of acceptable appearances. And by no ones standard is a nmohawk a modest appearance.

 

Could I get chapter and verse where the Bible says that a modest appearance was high on Jesus' list or that a mohawk would not have been acceptable? Where appearance was high on Jesus' list at all? I haven't done a search this morning and I don't have time, but from what I remember of the gospels, Jesus associated with people who were not quite so acceptable to the religious leaders of the time. If memory serves, he looked on the heart and dealt with heart issues.

 

It's what is on the inside that counts and you can't say that a mohawk is an outward manifestation of rebellion or anything else. What it means to one person, it may not mean to another. I could easily judge someone with long hair and ankle length denim jumper as being overly religious and concerned only with outward appearances, but that wouldn't be right for me to do either.

 

This thread has gotten bizarre. What do I know though? I just got my hair chopped to chin length, so apparently I have a spirit of feminist rebellion brewing within me.:001_huh: I honestly had no idea.

[JFSinIL]

How silly.

My ds, 17, hasn't had a haircut in two years. He has loooong blonde hair. He wears smart-ass t-shirts and listens to Finnish heavy metal. He is also in AP and Honors classes, studies hard, and is a good kid. If hair, be it long or mohawk or dyed purple or ??? is all a parent has to worry about - that is great!

 

In our local Scout troop two of the best SPL kids the troop ever had both had loooong hair (they also portrayed Native Americans in a reenactment troop).

 

Keep the mohawk. Leave the group. You can do pre-algebra via Chalkdust or another program -supporting your son's right to look how he likes is more important. BUT I'd present him with the option - he can get a haircut and stay in that group, or do his math at home and keep the mohawk. Someday he will have to decide between the hair and a job.

Edited October 3, 2008 by JFSinIL

[Jennifer3141]

 

One time I was at a homeschool convention, sitting in a class and trying to listen to the guest speaker. I was seated behind a homeschool mama with hair so long that her hair strands were actually going into my glass of water which was situated on the floor behind her chair and in front of me by my sandals. Talk about distracting! :lol: :tongue_smilie:

 

Ok, I just got the willies. Now I'M distracted. :D

 

Jen

[Renee in NC]

Really? I fully expect my daughter to do things that I do not expect her to do. :lol:

 

That's just part of the growing-up process isn't it?

 

Joanne, my dd is only 8, but she certainly has a sense of style that is . . . well a little different. I know I would be very hurt for her sake if she had been judged in this way. I don't have advice to offer, only sympathy for you and your son.

 

When my now 15yo was 8 or so, I was adamant that no child of mine would do xyz. I would look at disdain at people who allowed their children to be so "rebellious"! Couldn't they control their own children?!?!

 

I have gotten over myself, I promise. :lol: I used to "buzz cut" my boys because that was the only "proper" way to be. My 15yo has long hair and several piercings.;) My 7yo has longish hair and my soon-to-be 6yo had a mohawk until recently!

 

I worry about their character more than I worry about their hairstyles. They realize that people judge them by the way they look and that a time will come when they might have to change their appearance to get what they want. I'd rather spend these years teaching them not to be judgemental and proud than to worry about how the homeschool world (which isn't the "real world" in this sense) judges them.