Oh, hey, hi everyone! What's going on? I go to bed with less than 30 posts in the thread and come back to [*blink blink*] 100+ ... wowzers.
Here's the deal, since I started it: We did know ahead of time that the kids could wear their costumes. I didn't take my son to the lesson right before yesterday's, my older son did, but I do now recall my younger son saying that day that they said it was going to be a party. SO it wasn't spur of the moment. I guess I assumed it would STILL include a lesson, with maybe an activity at the end or something. *Anyway* ... it wasn't emotional abuse at all, this mom's decision, just a sharing of their family standard and her helping her daughter in phrasing/telling the teacher that she wouldn't be taking part. I think at that point we still assumed that there would be a lesson eventually. But once we realized there wouldn't some of us started bowing out (self and at least two others included).
To me emotional abuse is "You're a worthless fool, don't talk to me, your father can't stand you, I don't care if you do this or that make up your own mind, why would you wear that? do you think it looks good? Never mind I'll do it myself, shut up," never telling your kid you like them and love them, etc. Not "This is the way we do things as a family and here's help in how to handle this situation."