Moms over 45...bear with me (women only, please...TMI)

[LisaKinVA]

Assuming this is all just hormone fluctuations...

 

When do you determine you're on-time or late? First spot when wiping? When you actually need protection?

 

When I was younger, my cycles were 28 days and light 3-4 days. Being late was my only symptom of early pregnancy. Since Boo, they're usually 24-30 days no sputter, and 7 days long. UNTIL last month (dd and I are also in sync).

 

I sputtered for 3 days, had 2 moderate days, and 2 more sputter days. Two weeks later, I'm tired as all get out, cravings followed by nausea, feeling weird. My mom had a weird period with my baby brother, and when I thought about everything, I couldn't help but wonder. So, I poas. Negative. I say nothing about it to anyone IRL, because well...crazy woman walking, you know?

 

DD started on-time....4 days ago. I feel like a wreck. Cramping, nausea, backache, noticeably tired (walking zombie), craving peanut m & m (I don't really like chocolate, let alone peanut m&m). 6 pieces in, I feel like I'm going to be sick (FWIW, have never been sick in early pregnancy). No pimples this month, either. And I can't even say I'm sputtering. Thought I was starting yesterday. Does a pencil eraser amount of murky brown goop in 12 hours count? I'm cramping so badly, I took out my cup (empty). I had one darker spot earlier, and thought, here it comes. And since then NOTHING but a faint pinkish staining when i wipe. No, I am not having to use the bathroom more than normal.

 

If this is my new normal, I can be grateful for the lighter mess. But, I could do without the extreme tiredness, nausea, cramping, weird dreams, food cravings, and food aversions (oldest son wants hot dogs for his birthday party tomorrow and the very thought makes me ill). All of these other things are making me feel completely psycho.

 

But, by writing this post, I'm certain to begin in earnest, right?

 

To put my extreme tiredness into perspective, I almost always hear dh come to bed, and I never sleep through his alarms (4 of them), and I wake up easily. I'm now out, without any memory of his coming to bed, and I slept through his alarms. When I do get up, I am stumbling out of bed like I haven't slept. I am sooo tired. I am better today. But I also slept in until 8am, and took a 30 minute nap.

 

Like I said...crazy lady walking. Am I late? Is this my new normal? Should I see a doctor? Blech. I'm ready for bed. It's 7pm. I feel like it's 10.

 

Help me laugh about this change. At least I'm not having hot flashes, right?

[Laura Corin]

In answer to your first question: as someone whose periods could all her life normally be spaced anything from 21 to 40 days apart, there's no such thing as late, really.  You are just finally joining my world.

 

 

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[The Girls' Mom]

I'm smack in the middle of pre-menopause.  My periods have lost all sense of "normal"  I might have two months of perfectly normal ones, then go for two months with nothing, then have two less than 20 days apart.  The amount ranges from normal, to "will I need a transfusion?", to "you call that a period?".  My moods are all over the map.  Some months I feel EXACTLY like I did when I was pregnant, nausea, fatigue, sore bOOks, the whole 9 yards.  

My GYN has checked everything out, and assured me that I'm well within the range of normal, and to expect another 3-10 years of this wonderful stage of life.   

 

I'm 39, btw....this stuff really can hit some women earlier than 45 :D 

I POAS when the curiosity gets the better of me...usually after I'm about 2 weeks late.  

[Guest]

Some people have problems with heavy periods during peri, but mine just seemed to dry up and peter out. I think I'm done, but it's not the first time I though that.

 

I consider myself still in peri because my last periods were less than a year ago.

 

ITA with Laura that there is no such thing as late in your late 40s: I didn't have a period for nine months, then I had one, then another just like clockwork, then some brown spotting at the expected over 45 schedule.

 

I'd avoid the doctor if you can. Hot flashes are the least of it. Meno sucks big time. Health anxiety is par for the course, but a lot of doctors don't understand that and will label you a "hypochondriac" and then you won't be taken seriously if something major does go wrong.

 

I was two weeks shy of 43 when (planned and very much wanted) ds was born and it is possible to have an "oops!" at 45, so definitely POAS when in doubt, but it's probably better to keep it to yourself or among forum buddies.

 

This is so much harder than anything I ever expected--after birthing four kids at home with no meds I would totally go the HRT route if I didn't have cancer in the family or if it were possible to buy premarin from shady characters in dark alleys.

 

Please be kind to yourself--it's a marathon, not a sprint.

[natalie]

I'm 46. I almost could have written your post myself, right down to the child wanting hot dogs and the negative test. I wrote it off as the new, awful normal and went on with life (miserably I might add!)

 

Guess what? Baby is due in December!

[gardenmom5]

 skip, spot, super heavy, barely anything, long, short, are all normal for peri. - and are no indication of what the next one will be like.

 

the pg symptoms could just be your new normal for pmsing.   (I did that for awhile. :tongue_smilie: ) never lasted more than two or three days. 

 

or you could be pg. (the spotty bleeding is irrelevant. doesn't rule anything out. I'm actually more careful about tracking now than when I was younger.)

 

I would suggest testing (first am urine) every week as long as you have symptoms.  I actually delayed doing a pg test because I was so sure it wasn't possible. . . . but I was.  the next week - I started bleeding (implantation bleeding).  I bled off and on for six weeks.  I finally got to where I just called my obn said "I'm bleeding, if it gets worse I'll come in". (he did detailed blood work, he sent me to the ER for US every time . . . )

 

oh, and it's possible to have a HcG level too low to register and still have a healthy baby.

[SKL]

Last December (while traveling, of course) I missed a period for the first time in my life (age 48).  The odd thing was that I felt the same way you feel when you're going to have your period.  I wore full protection for about 10 days before I decided it might be safe to scale it back to "what if."  I missed the next month too, similar deal.  Then the next month I had a light period, except that the period never really ended.  2.5 weeks later, I'm bleeding so hard I'm in the ER.  Suddenly it stops (by itself) and then I go back to a roughly regular schedule.  I give up!

 

I posted a couple times during those months, to hear what others have experienced.  It seems this is just a really unpredictable time.  I am trying to accept it as my "new normal."  I know it still isn't as bad as what some girls/women go through every month for 35 years, so I can do this.  :)

[G5052]

A year ago I went from clockwork to all over the map, not at all predictable. No PMS or other symptom, just a brief period.

 

I'm in my mid-50's, so go figure.

 

Only three so far in 2015.

 

Have a physical, but likely nothing at all is wrong other than getting older. Really.

[FriedClams]

I'm so WITH YOU! All. over. the. map. My appointment with the gyn is early next month. I assume all is "normal", but just getting the run down. I told DH I would love for all the goods to get removed. I know it's not easier, but man, the thought of being on the other side of the hill is really enticing.

[gardenmom5]

Some people have problems with heavy periods during peri, but mine just seemed to dry up and peter out. I think I'm done, but it's not the first time I though that.

 

I consider myself still in peri because my last periods were less than a year ago.

 

 

 

don't you hate that?   I'm in my 50's . . . and still . . . . the longest was still less than five months. (and boy, was it heavy!)  I almost regret not doing the (not-necessary) hysterectomy my gyn wanted to do.  I'd be done.

 

and yeah - menopause is technically one day.  the 366th day of no cycle.  then you're post.

[SKL]

I also wanted to say that I share your feelings of being tired, cravings, and I'll add crankiness and stupidness and getting fat!  It's interfering with my work and other aspects of life.  Ain't nobody got time for that!

[gardenmom5]

I also wanted to say that I share your feelings of being tired, cravings, and I'll add crankiness and stupidness and getting fat!  It's interfering with my work and other aspects of life.  Ain't nobody got time for that!

 

and the whackadoodle mood swings!  (5-htp is good.)

 

I went through a period I felt really tired, but I increased my iron and folate and it seemed to help.

[SKL]

Yeah, if I wasn't losing my mind I might remember to take my vitamins.  :P

[LisaKinVA]

Driving to base on Wednesday, all of a sudden, I got really ill. DH did 130km all the way. Blasting cold air relieved some of the nausea for a bit, but it came raging back. About 45 minutes later I was so incredibly tired, my friend asked me if I was okay (haggard looking tired). I may poas tomorrow, if TOM is still a no-show. A pregnancy now would be kind of funny...and a tad bit scary. My in-laws would completely freak. My mom, on the other hand, would drop every complaint about coming back to Italy next spring just to be here for the baby. She would not be able to contain her excitement.

 

My mom was 60 before she was done. I don't have pleasant memories of that. I think I'll be going back to low carb on Monday...I pulled out my exercise videos, too. I see kickboxing and Piyo in my future. Maybe I should get some iron and folate as well. Any good ones?

 

Having a sounding board here is great. Talking virtually takes some of the edge off. Thanks for reassuring me that crazy woman walking is really just normal. :) I may need to hear that a lot.

[gardenmom5]

whatever iron was most absorbable.  don't remember off hand.

 

I have an issue with folate - so I supplement with 5-mthf from thorne.  I had to go really slowly for awhile, only taking 1- 2mg or I would have lots of side-effects.  I think I probably had a higher homocystene level so the folate was clearing toxins from my system and too much was overload.  I'm up to 6mg and do feel better.

[Mabelen]

It could definitely be just your new normal, but I'd go to the doctor if you haven't had a physical recently. I was feeling very tired a couple of years ago and it turned out to be my thyroid.

[trulycrabby]

Floradix iron saved my life!

 

Yeah, I am 53 and menopausal, but at your age I had many of the same symptoms. I would skip periods for three months, then hemmorrhage my way to severe anemia (not quite, but that's what it felt like).

 

I also took a bazillion pregnancy tests in those years. :o

 

Hang in there, and treat the symptoms, if possible. :grouphug:

[Juliegmom]

I just missed my first period and I'm certain it's because I'm in peri. The last couple of years my periods has been coming every 24 days and so heavy that I literally don't go out for a couple days if I don't have to. My last period was lighter and followed by several days of light spotting after I thought it was gone. Then, this month nothing except that my b00ks are really sensitive. I'm ready for the end, but then I hear that it only gets worse. :(

[6packofun]

My new normal (age 44 in Oct.) is that my period seem pretty normal, but spotting or just pink/brown when wiping lasts....for....ev....ER.  Like 5-7 days AFTER the period should be done.  It only requires a panty liner, thankfully, but oh my gosh, it's annoying.  I have always had pretty easy periods except for several months as my body adjusted after my tubes were tied, so I really can't complain like some of you. I'm just praying that it doesn't reverse course and become HEAVIER at any point.

[Seasider]

My cycle has lost its rhythm and has gained some sputters. Based on what you're describing, though, it sounds more like hormonal surges. I'd be out buying another stick to p' on.

[KungFuPanda]

I'm convinced there is some crazy voodoo involved when you live with other menstruating women. Dd and I don't even have the same cycle, but I swear I get weird twinges when she's about to go. I feels like I should be starting, but I don't because it's not my time yet.

[Chris in VA]

Gosh, Lisa--I think you might be expecting!

My 2 cents.

 

It's the fact that you have all these symptoms at once, and the extreme tiredness.

 

Let us know!

 

😊

[mommaduck]

Not 45 yet, but also in the middle of perimenopause. It's insane and there's no rhyme or reason.

[FaithManor]

47 here.

 

Normal, what's normal?????

 

Sigh.....

[Guest]

I would UC with the dolphins in a snowbank and nurse my quintuplets until they were 13 before I'd ever go through this without drugs again!

[netwelladm]

I am 42 and headed for 43 this year. My cycle or whatever you want to call it has been weird all year. The obgyn switched me from ortho tri-cyclen to sprintec and added estradiol 2mg for seven days. My cycle has been on 6 weeks now ranging from light to heavy and heavy to light. I’m ticked off and hubby is ticked (well you know why). Doctor is stressing hysterectomy but I’m not ready to give up my uterus lol. Sigh!

 

I hope someone can reply with something that works. I'm losing my grace.

[SparrowsNest]

My new normal (age 44 in Oct.) is that my period seem pretty normal, but spotting or just pink/brown when wiping lasts....for....ev....ER.  Like 5-7 days AFTER the period should be done.  It only requires a panty liner, thankfully, but oh my gosh, it's annoying.  I have always had pretty easy periods except for several months as my body adjusted after my tubes were tied, so I really can't complain like some of you. I'm just praying that it doesn't reverse course and become HEAVIER at any point.

 

45 here and this seems to be my new normal, too.  My periods are still very regular, 2 days of very heavy (don't leave the house) bleeding, and then afterward, just this lingering spotting.  Dude, what is UP with this? 

 

But if there's two of us, I'm guessing it's normal.  :)

[6packofun]

45 here and this seems to be my new normal, too.  My periods are still very regular, 2 days of very heavy (don't leave the house) bleeding, and then afterward, just this lingering spotting.  Dude, what is UP with this? 

 

But if there's two of us, I'm guessing it's normal.   :)

 

 

Yay!?  lol  I, too, have about 36-48 hours of heavy (not compared to most, though) and then the guest that won't leave...so awkward.  :P

[Momto6inIN]

I'm only 41 but every cycle for about a year now I feel pregnant right around the time I ovulate, physically and emotionally and the whole shebang. After being on that crazy train for about 6 months and going through more pregnancy tests than I care to count, I finally asked the dr about it and he said that sometimes progesterone can mimic pregnancy symptoms so I'm probably having a progesterone surge during those times. He shrugged and acted like it wasn't a big deal. :cursing: So now I just kind of count on it.

 

But ... one month it *was* a pregnancy. I ended up miscarrying a few weeks later, but it was real that once.

 

So it could be either pregnancy or it could be your new normal. Which doesn't really help you much. :)

[lynn]

You are not alone. Nothing is normal for me. I have spent way to much money on pregnancy tests because of being 2weeks late and other symptoms. My body still gets pms, chocolate cravings etc. It does make me crazy keeping up with it all. I find that exercising daily and light weight training helps a lot along with taking a good multivitamin and limiting caffeine.

[Farrar]

Yep... 39 and this seems to be my new normal. So good to hear that others also have more pregnancy scares in this time. I can't even begin to tell what's normal anymore. Dh thinks I'm nuts.

[kiwik]

I had my second at 40 and started premenopause by 44. If there is no reason you need to know your pregnant immediately then give a few more weeks then test again. Take folic acid in the meantime just in case. But think back to your first couple of years of cycles - how did you feel then,.it seemed quite similar.

[LisaKinVA]

True to form, within 24 hours of posting, everything went "normal."  I would need to see a doctor very early if pregnant...the same things that make it highly improbable for me to be pregnant, could cause a lot more problems if I were pregnant (nothing is impossible at this time).  I am not pregnant. I'm feeling a bit better today.  Most of the nausea is gone, most of the back-ache is gone.  

 

I'm going to get the Floradix iron  supplement, and get back on regimin.  What's the worst that can happen?  I get a bit healthier?  With the coming 9 months of stress (moving home, homeschooling, trying to actually see a few sights before we leave), I'm going to need to do something to counterbalance all of this.  So, supplements and more activity is where it's at.  At least my cycles have gotten lighter.  The new PMS symptoms are awful, but maybe some of the supplements and food changes will help with that, too.  

 

I don't like going to the doctor here.  My cholesterol is all they want to talk about (and hey, while it's a little "higher" than they'd like, it is really just my normal.  It was 240 when I was 25, and it's 240 now.  My sugars are fine (no indications of T2 diabetes), my BP is on the lower-side of normal, my heart rate is solidly in the normal range, but seriously, ALL they talk about is my cholesterol. I could go in because I have an infection in my big toe, and they want to talk about my cholesterol.  blech.  

 

I'm going to work on some lesson plans and hopefully get some more things around the house cleaned up, make menus for the month...and nap.  I still want a nap, but at least I don't want chocolate/peanut m&ms anymore!

 

 

[Chris in VA]

 

L

O

L

 

Both happy and a little sad for you!

 

Welcome to Peri. Mine is almost over. About 6 more months to determine if I'm through the gate into Menoland. I hear it's cooler there (fans self

while flashing).

[Serenade]

I find this thread strangely comforting.  

 

I am 52 and in the throws of all things weird menstrually speaking.

[Wheres Toto]

45 here and this seems to be my new normal, too.  My periods are still very regular, 2 days of very heavy (don't leave the house) bleeding, and then afterward, just this lingering spotting.  Dude, what is UP with this? 

 

But if there's two of us, I'm guessing it's normal.   :)

 

Me three!  or four by now maybe.  Ugh.  I just turned 46.

[SKL]

Today I felt brave and went swimming (took the kids to a water park) for the first time since last Christmas, when everything went crazy.  Thankfully nothing bad happened.  But I was nervous.  :/