Sports! What age do you let kids start?

[Kharisma]

What age did your kids start sports?  My son won't turn 6 until Nov. Our local community sports league lets kids start T-Ball and soccer at 4.  My son has expressed interest both last year and this year to play a team sport. The problem is I don't think he's ready. He acts very young for his age. Makes screamy whine noises when he doesn't like how things are going. Its like he is trying to act like his 2 yr old sister. I have been working with him on expressing frustration in words instead. I'm afraid the kids will pick on him for being a baby. He's also working on good sportsmanship. He has told our whole family and everyone at church he is playing soccer this year. Am I holding him back? I am feeling like mean Mom, because Dad is all for it.

[lovinmyboys]

All my kids have started at 5, but you know your child best. My current 5yr old can be a really bad sport when he plays backyard games, but so far with his team he seems to be able to keep it together better. Your child may not behave the same around his coaches and teammates as he does with you. Also, he won't be the only one learning team sport behavior at that age. I have found that five yr olds are all over the place-some are pretty serious about the sport, some just want to run around, some are not wanting to be away from their parents, some cry when things don't go their way. There has always been a wide range of behavior on my 5yr olds teams and as long as the kid wasn't being unsafe, everyone was very understanding.

[Acorn]

Kids act differently on the field than they might at just home. I would give it a try since he's excited about playing.

 

Mine started ages 4 and 5. They were on teams of same age kids.

[wintermom]

It depends on your expectations. I don't think very many 6 year olds benefit from highly competitive organized sport programs, as the focus is usually on outcomes like goals scored and winning. I much prefer developmental sporting programs with well-trained instructors who focus on teaching skills and having fun and know something about child development. 

 

My dc all started martial arts at age 4. The focus was not on belt promotions for this age, rather fun, self-discipline and gradually learning skills and proper technique. Recreational soccer, swimming, tennis, etc. programs can be fun and beneficial for 6 year olds.

[mamaraby]

My youngest started soccer at 4? It's just the YMCA. I think they start at 3. It's mostly just a bunch of kids running around kicking the ball in a big herd. She had a blast. Last season she mostly lay down in the middle of the field so we're taking this year off and will see what her interest is next year. Her older siblings are both playing soccer this year, so who knows how she'll feel about being left out.

 

Even the competitive soccer club has a group for 3-5 year olds. It's just fun, though. If your kid is interested, then give it a try. When he's not interested, then stop.

[Kiara.I]

I coached a team sport this year that had children on the ice from 4 to 9.

The 9-year-olds were mostly attentive, focused and improving.  So were the 8s.  And the 7s.

The 6s were *mostly* okay.

The 5s were...scatty and unfocused.

The 4s refused to hold their sticks or participate in any way and would skate around wherever they wanted and do whatever, through practices.  It worked fine.  ;)

 

You're afraid the kids will pick on him.  Most 5 year olds don't know how to pick on other kids very well, at least around here.  Likely they'll just ignore him.  It's not like htey haven't seen meltdowns before.  Plus, surrounded by a group of kids NOT melting down, he might decide there are other ways to communicate.

 

Also, even if it goes badly...will they remember him next season?  Probably not, so it's not like having them pick on him this year will be long-term, you know?  I might be inclined to do it just so that he has models of behaviour *other than* his 2-year-old sister.  ;)

[Kharisma]

Hmm I have been basing my opinion  on how he handles backyard games with his cousin. Sometimes its ok, sometimes it's ugly. I hadn't thought it maybe different outside of the house. Or that other kids are starting off at the same level. Its a county league that is made up of volunteer coaches. So I don't know how win oriented it is. I do know someone who quit coaching because the parents were to win focused. His kids were a little older though. Guess I'll have to dig a little more.

 

As a kid I played soccer from 1st to 8th grade. I was always on the losing team. So it was just a normal fact of life when we lost. We played and had fun, but ultimately lost. It was like winning the lottery when we finally won. My son is high energy.  He wouldn't be a soccer super star. This is not my hoped career for him. It would be more for fun and to positively use some of his energy. I just don't want it to be at the cost of his self esteem.  He did a mile kids run and handled that well. I guess I will have to talk to the league before we decide.

 

Thank you for your help. :)

[MEmama]

Ice skating at 2 or 3. Soccer at 3. Hockey at 3 or 4.

 

You know your kid best. There's no harm in trying if he's interested, but he should be aware that it's a team sport. Other kids are there to learn and coaches are there to teach, not babysit or spend their time disciplining. My son hated it when kids would act up instead of listen, and while some of it is developmental there were far too many kids who clearly weren't ready or were forced to participate.

 

If you feel you need to set ground rules ahead of time, that's ok. It's also ok to try it out and pull him if he's not ready yet. But the independence might be good for him. Sometimes kids are different for coaches than they are for parents.

[HomeAgain]

Team sports are a no-go until age 6 or 7.  We'll do clinics and classes, but I'm not throwing a preschooler out on the field in full gear so he can smell the daisies.
Individual sports are whenever an interest is shown.

[SKL]

If possible, let him give it a try without committing for the whole season.  He may surprise you when playing on a team.

 

My kids were inconsistent at that age.  They did most of their activities at the Little Gym, which is non-competitive.  They got along fine with the coaches and other kids, but they didn't listen very well.  We didn't start competitive sports until they were 7.5yo, and then it was only soccer.  They did great.  Now at 8yo they just finished a successful season of swim team and competed in their first horse show.  They also still participate in non-competitive gymnastics and TKD.

[ItoLina]

My kids both started at age 4. My husband has been coaching year round soccer for 4-6 year olds for 3 years now. What you describe is just how many of them are at that age. DH tells me his goal is for them to want to come back and move on to the next age group loving soccer and being ok with other kids stealing the ball from them (in other words they don't have a total melt down when that happens). All of those kids are working on sportsmanship and being able to handle situations on the field in a way that they don't cry for every little thing. IMHO that's what sports are for at that age, working on those skills. I would totally put him in.

[wendyroo]

My 6 year old is not ready for team sports; he is autistic, which makes social interactions like that extra difficult.

 

Instead we sign him up for YMCA sports classes.  In a 45 minutes soccer class, they will spend 15ish minutes warming up, running a couple laps and playing a playground game like sharks and minnows, then they will spend 15ish minutes doing soccer drills like structured passing or shooting practice, and then they spend the last 15ish minutes playing several short soccer scrimmages (only loosely keeping score).

 

For now this is working very well for him and we will think about putting him on a team in a couple years if that is something he is interested in.

 

Wendy

[MinivanMom]

When they show interest. For our kids that has been anywhere from 4 to 8 years old.

 

As a family, though, our focus in sports is on fun and learning, so we deliberately seek out recreational leagues that have age-appropriate expectations. Our experience has been that coaches, parents, and other kids are very tolerant of childish behavior in preschool/kindergarten level t-ball and soccer. They may even laugh or ooh & aah at "cute" behaviors like running the wrong way or not listening to the coaches because they're too busy staring at a blade of grass. That tolerance disappears pretty quickly at age 6+.

 

If you aren't sure whether your son is ready, then that may be a sign to wait a season or two. If he's really set on playing soccer, then I might look around for a recreational league that focuses on learning and sportsmanship. Then you have to be prepared to spend a lot of time coaching him on behavior before each practice/game and again afterwards. I think this can be very stressful on the parent (it's hard to watch your child misbehaving on the field and not step in), and it requires you to be there and paying attention at each practice/game (get a sitter for little sister). It could be a great thing for him, though. Some kids will surprise you by stepping up when the situation (or an adult other than mom) expects it.

[KrissiK]

Usually about 5 or 6. Dd#2 is starting soccer this fall and she's 6. I think it's an age where the coach can actually start teaching them things and they can figure out the game. Any younger, while it's pretty hilarious to watch (I remember watching little kids play t-ball.... someone actually hits the ball into the outfield and the whole team runs out and dogpiles on the ball, and the lucky kid who comes up with it just stands there proudly holding the ball up for all to see while the coach is screaming, "throw the ball to home plate, throw the ball!) I don't think they learn too much!

[Mommy22alyns]

It's very much up to the individual kid and parents.  My ODD started gymnastics at 3, and my YDD at 4.  They also did some soccer and ODD did a little t-ball as well.  Some things worked better than others.

 

You may notice that my ODD is a competitive gymnast - let me assure you that I put her in gymnastics at 3 for two reasons: I thought it would suit her personality, and they took 3 year olds.  I never had any other thought or grand plans for this.  We literally stumbled on her "thing" by accident.

[SevenDaisies]

If he's interested let him try it. The age when they are ready varies greatly, but if he is expressing a desire to play that's huge. Even if he misbehaves he likely won't be the only one doing so at that age - being six he will likely be in the company of 4-6 year olds. He'll have to learn that to play he has to behave a certain way, and if he can't behave he doesn't get to play.

 

I had my son in soccer and hockey at the age of 4. He enjoyed them but didn't love them. He had wanted to play baseball and I assumed he was to rough and full of energy to play a thinking game like baseball, but I was wrong. Baseball is his game. My youngest dabbled in everything and it wasn't until very recently that she started to show interest in a particular sport. My oldest starting skating at 5 and is still loving it at 11.

[Tanikit]

My eldest started gymnastics at 5 but only began competing this year at 7 years of age. My youngest started gymnastics at 3 years of age at the same gym where they have very age appropriate shorter classes and where it is kept fun with the preschoolers. 

[Tsuga]

As a group activity or learning clinic, well, we had swim and tumbling from the age of 2. Mainly to get out of the house and socialize and get used to a teacher as they were both very social.

 

As competitive sport, this was our first year. DD1 was 8, DD2 was six and on the young side but she wanted the privileges of being on the team (snacks) so I let her go for it. It was an open to all, 2 month private swim team with a very positive attitude, all are welcome, always cheer the kid coming in last type of thing. It was great. DSS 11 began competitive rec soccer at 9 because his mom insisted he do something, anything to get off his butt and that's what he finally chose. DSD does cheer and dance and has since 6th grade. They all did YMCA and BGC and parks and rec stuff from very early but it was always fun-focused, learning-focused. We live in a bubble of sanity so it is all very positive and they will sooner kick a parent out for being obnoxiously competitive, than they would a child for pitching a fit.

 

My six year old can be EXTREMELY immature and whiny. I feel for you. She seems so normal and then boom, all of a sudden she is whining to put Caillou to shame and falling on the floor wailing. WTH.

 

Eta: DD1 did a no-score soccer clinic with a league at 6. Definitely a team thing, though. They were all over the place. The boys at that age were mainly picking daisies. The girls seemed to be a bit more mature but still it was learning-focused, not competitive though it funneled into a competitive rec and club league.

[...................]

If you have good coaches, they will quickly teach him that that behavior is not acceptable.  They will just tell him to go into the dugout until he is done whining.  They will tell him if he screams or throws a fit again that he can't play anymore, and if they keep their word, he will learn quickly.

 

So, sports might be a good thing.  :o)  

[Jackie]

We started gymnastics at 1yo with mommy-and-me, t-ball and soccer at 5yo. Kids in the classes/teams have a wide range of personalities. No one expects five year olds to be perfectly focused and attentive. Sports at this age are just for fun, to learn the basics of the game, and to learn sportsmanship.

[MinivanMom]

I just got home from my kindergartner's first soccer practice. This is a rec league; at this age there is no goalie, no ref, and no score-keeping. Everyone is supposed to be learning. Tonight:

 

-One kid cried and refused to participate at all, because he wanted "boy coaches" not "girl coaches". The coaches did their best to try and draw him in, but didn't pressure him.

-One kid completely broke down and threw a tantrum after someone accidently kicked "her" ball.

-Several kids were having trouble listening and kept having to be pulled back in by the coaches when they wandered back toward their parents on the sideline.

-Several kids picked up the ball with their hands and/or kicked the ball the wrong way.

-Everyone (except the kid crying by the side over "girl coaches") seemed to have a good time, but it was really hot so the coaches ended practice 15 min early and gave them all popsicles.

-Most of the parents were laughing at the antics. One father said, "It's like herding cats at this age." There were a lot of "aaaah's" and sympathy for the kids who cried.

 

This is what you are looking for: a supportive environment where everyone understands that kids this age are still learning. Your son could have a great experience and mature a lot if you find the right league.

[zoobie]

Mine started at 4. Fall leagues are usually more laid back than spring, so it might be a good opportunity for him to try it out. 4 year olds generally are too wrapped up in themselves (as they should be developmentally) to "make fun" of other kids. He also might behave differently for another adult than he does for you at home. 4 year old t-ball is cat-herding like soccer at that age. No one expects any different. However, if you discover he cannot follow directions to the point of it being dangerous, I would pull him. Fall is usually cheaper too. ;)

[Kharisma]

We have been having regular yard games with his cousin and aunt and uncle. Sometimes its good sometimes its really ugly. Last night was ugly.  We are coaching him on the realities of soccer. Its a team sport, not a Me sport. Letting practice passing, ball control ect. on his request. In his head I think he thinks it is going to be him with the ball making dozens of goals (cried last night because he his team scored ONLY two goals) and cheering fans. He has always been my show off. I think he needs to watch a little of a real soccer game to maybe get acquainted with the idea of team sport.

 

It would be good for him to hang out with some boys his own age. I feel like he is surrounded by girls (his sister, cousins and coop). And it could be a good growing experience, just hard on mom to watch sometimes. I keep flipping sides yes, no next year.  He's my oldest and has always been very tall for his age and very active. He does need this growing experience. I think we'll keep coaching him on having fun and playing together not dominating. Put him on the team and let him try.  Pull him if it turns toxic. We live in a rural area. So there are no YMCA type places that are close.

 

Thanks for listening to me whine, but mostly for your kind responses.

[UCF612]

My oldest started at 4 in t-ball. He wanted to do it but never really cared for that particular sport. He started swim lessons at 1 and by 5 joined the swim team. He's 8 now, still on swim team. He plays basketball in the winter. He's doing his favorite sports. We started because he expressed interest but only stuck with what he loved.

 

My youngest begged to play soccer at 3. We found a program that let him in early. He's 6 now and still loves soccer. He tried baseball one season but didn't care for it. He'll join the swim team in the fall and wants to try basketball in the winter. I think soccer will stay his favorite. He was also allowed to join my oldest in tennis. They both loved it but too pricey for us. He did golf this summer which he loved (older brother only liked it). It was free so we tried it.

 

Personally I'd let your son play if he wants. It might help with the issues you're having. And at a young age he probably won't be the only one dealing with those things. That's one reason some people even attempt sports.

[Terabith]

Let him try. He wants to so badly, and it's actually easier to start if you are young. Lower expectations and such. And I have never seen a six year old who was into passing graciously. He really sounds pretty age appropriate. Give him a chance.

[Mom22ns]

I would let them start when they are interested. I wouldn't worry too much about behavior. I remember one t-ball game getting paused so everyone could go look at the butterflies that were completely distracting the outfield  :lol: . The expectations of preschoolers in sports is very low, but it can be fun and it can be a good learning experience. 

 

OTOH, if you have a bad coach, too high of expectation or he doesn't like it, be prepared to pull him and waste your money. :)

[SeaConquest]

Swimming begins when they are a few months old

 

Soccer skills class, tumbling, age 2-3

 

Soccer team, age 4+

 

Parkour, surfing, tennis, martial arts, ice skating, age 5-6+

 

Sailing, water polo, age 7+ 

 

This has been our progression so far... 

 

 

[Aurelia]

Your plan sounds sensible.

 

DD didn't start competing in any sport until age 8 (she's never been the competitive type and didn't want to.) She did gymnastics off and on from about age 4-6, started competitive tumbling at 8 (after a little over a year of recreational classes), and did swim team at 9. I remember pulling her out of dance and swimming at different times around age 3-4 because she was refusing to participate or do what the teacher/coach told her. (Swimming was a screaming meltdown over putting her face in the water, even though she was wearing goggles.) I think as long as you stay flexible and don't go into it with the attitude "I paid for this, so you're sticking out for the whole season, no matter what, and you'd better play nice!" you'll be fine. 

[MysteryJen]

Ds1 soccer at 5, baseball at 6, basketball at 7, swim team at 8. Added water polo at 15. Now swims D3.

Dd2, soccer at 5, gymnastics ages 4-7, swim team at 6, climbing at 10 to 14. Now only swim team, being recruited now.

Ds3 soccer at 5, judo at 6, swim team at 6. Now judo and summer league swim

Dd2, swim team at 5. judo at 6, water polo 10-12, now only swim team.

Ds3, soccer at 5, judo at 5, swim team at 5, rugby at 7, water polo 9, tennis at 9,

 

Soccer is a great first team sport, but the best sport that helped my overly competitive younger two was judo. Hard physical work and lots of losing. And no one to blame when you get thrown but yourself.

[Dmmetler]

DD started cheer at 4, at her request. We didn't let her compete until the season she turned 6, though, because I was pretty sure that if she got there on the mat with people looking at her, she'd probably burst into tears until that point. (She has sensory issues, and just practice was hard on her). She is still in the sport at age 10, and while she's tried other sports and activities, cheer is the one she's stuck with.

[Georgiana Daniels]

If he's interested in soccer, let him play :)  What's the worst that could happen?

 

Our kids started in gymnastics while they were still in diapers with the parent-tot class and progressed from there. One dd stayed with it and is training for L7, and the other dd peeled off to try soccer at age 4 (she's now on a club teams and LOVES it!)

[Runningmom80]

I let my older DS do soccer at 3, and I regretted it.  He just didn't have the attention span.  Now I say at least 5.  My older did soccer again at 5, and although it was better, he still wasn't really ready.  This year at 8 he did baseball and it was a way better experience.  All kids are different though, my younger DS (newly 5) just did T-ball in the spring, and had a great experience. 

[eternallytired]

We chose to start both of the older kids in soccer last fall, at 5.5 and 4.5.  U6 soccer is the last level that is done co-ed around here, and after that the competition ramps up quite a bit, so we wanted to give our kids (ODS, especially) a chance to try the sport before it jumped to a competitive level.  Since most folks start super young, we figured if we waited too long, the kids would be way behind the curve.  I thought it worked pretty well, though I definitely won't sign my youngest up until he's over 4.  The U4s (3yos) spent most of their games crying or scoring on the wrong goal; even DD's age level (the 4-going-on-5s) was hit-or-miss, with a few kids on every team who were having a hard time understanding the rules or keeping their emotions in check--and that was both fall and spring, when the kids had a good 6 mos to mature.

[boscopup]

My oldest played soccer at 4, hockey at 5. Hockey went a lot better than soccer. That year made a difference.

 

Next kid did hockey at 6, because he wasn't ready for a team at 5. He still wasn't ready... and still isn't at 8. He's doing karate now. He is quirky in general and struggles with following rules and working with others. He turned 7 shortly after the hockey season started, and at games, he'd be skating figure 8's on one side of the ice while the rest of the team was on the other side going after the puck.

 

Next kid did hockey at 5 (starting the age 6-8 team early because the 4-5 team was in another city), and he did fabulous.

 

I agree with others that how he does at home isn't necessarily how he'll be on a real team. Other kids making fun probably won't be an issue. No one ever made fun of my middle son, and he was on the age 6-8 team. The kids were all friendly with him, despite his inattention during games.

[Runningmom80]

My oldest played soccer at 4, hockey at 5. Hockey went a lot better than soccer. That year made a difference.

 

Next kid did hockey at 6, because he wasn't ready for a team at 5. He still wasn't ready... and still isn't at 8. He's doing karate now. He is quirky in general and struggles with following rules and working with others. He turned 7 shortly after the hockey season started, and at games, he'd be skating figure 8's on one side of the ice while the rest of the team was on the other side going after the puck.

 

Next kid did hockey at 5 (starting the age 6-8 team early because the 4-5 team was in another city), and he did fabulous.

 

I agree with others that how he does at home isn't necessarily how he'll be on a real team. Other kids making fun probably won't be an issue. No one ever made fun of my middle son, and he was on the age 6-8 team. The kids were all friendly with him, despite his inattention during games.

 

My son was one of the oldest, and also one who needed the most practice.  The kids were all wonderful to him.  (He's also inattentive.) He struck out the first 1/2 of the season, and by then end he was 3/3 base hits and their team won the world series.  It was an amazing experience.  I was nervous as heck but he really blossomed.  he's still not the best or most athletic, but he's learning how to be a team player.

[Reefgazer]

As soon as my kids could kick and throw a ball in the right direction purposefully, they started playing team sports; so about 3 because the YMCA had soccer for that age (and they were interested at the idea, so I suggested it, but didn't force it).  I think developing that hand-eye coordination early is useful for having an all-around capable athlete later.  Don't worry about his behavior; it seems age-appropriate, and team sports will help teach him good sportsmanship if you choose the right organization.  If he's into it, go for it!  Look at it this way - if it's a disaster, you can bow out, at worst.

[mathmarm]

There is more to sports than just following directions with greater-than-usual-for-your-age-accuracy. I say let the little one try a sport.