What did you do when your child asked to go to public school?

[nknapp5]

I have a ds 11 who is asking to go to public school starting in high school.  Where we live you can play football out of school until 8th grade and then you must be enrolled in public school to continue.  His very best friend (currently homeschooled) will start ps freshmen yr for the main purpose of playing sports.  He asks me almost daily if he will be able to go as well and his father and I just do not see it happening.  Telling him that upsets him every time.  He is good at sports but I don't see athletics being a main goal in his future.  I hate to see him upset and the thought of not seeing his bf anymore really upsets him.  Has anyone ever dealt with this?  If they asked and begged and you didn't let them go, did they end up hating you for it?  I homeschool b/c I feel responsible for my child's education.  We are also Christians and want him to have a Christ centered education.  I do shelter my children to a certain extent but my oldest is 11 so I don't see that as a problem.  I just don't want our decision to backfire and he rebels against us b/c he isn't getting his way.  Any thoughts would be appreciated!

[TranquilMind]

I don't know.  It's a tough one.  Maybe you can engage him.  Ask him to research the offerings at the public school and maybe find reviews on "Rate my Teachers" and get a feel for what they are actually doing?

I know that I capitulated to pressure from one and while the classes had fancy names, they did NOT live up to the hype in any way. 

 

They had to put my 13 year old in more than one senior class. 

 

Stupid.  It all eventually worked out, more or less I hope, but it cost us dearly in several ways. 

[nknapp5]

Well our school system is not the best right now.  Our district has had to make some very big cuts recently so in a few years I'm not sure there will be a high school.  I just want to start thinking  it thru now b/c time sure goes by fast.  What I really want is our public school system to let homeschoolers play sports, but the school board is very against it!

[EKS]

As a person who has seen one kid through high school and has another who is in the middle of it, I have to tell you that homeschooling high school only works when the kid is on board.  Otherwise it's just a miserable time.

[luuknam]

I'd be inclined to tell him that we'll discuss that in the middle of 8th grade and not before then (unless I was 100% sure there was no way I'd ever send him to a brick and mortar high school). He may or may not be more reasonable when he's a little older, your opinions may change, you might move, who knows? I don't think it's very useful to have arguments about that now unless he'd be going to high school at a younger age than normal.

[AnnaM]

I would ask why and genuinely listen and then make the decision I feel is best. I don't want my children to not feel heard but I am also the one responsible for them so at the end of the day it is up to me to make that decision. I do agree with putting the discussion off until closer to the time though. He could easily change his mind on his own once he is a little closer to the time.

[HomeAgain]

Yeah, I wouldn't discuss it further for another two years.  During those two years, I'd make sure he had exposure to various careers and had volunteer opportunities to serve the community.

 

At age 13, that's when the real discussions would begin.  "What do you want to do with your life?  What kind of careers are you interested in right now?" These, and the paths to get there from college on, would be researched.  Then the conversation gets to turn to high school and creating a plan to maximize his efforts for those 4 years to affect his life paths later: dual credit, completion of hs in 3 years, online courses that stress the skills needed for those careers...

 

 

For a teen, my job is not to simply say yes or no anymore.  My job is to provide information and guide him through the checklist of steps needing to get there.  If he can honestly look at the public high school and make a persuasive argument as to that being the best way, I wouldn't stop him.   

[Momling]

I agree that it's okay to think about that in 8th grade, not 6th grade. 

 

That said, when my daughter told me in 7th grade that she wanted to go to the local high school, I took her request seriously. She didn't whine or complain or beg that she wants to be with friends and she hates homeschooling and she wants to go to school NOW.  Instead, she told me about some of the things in her life that she wanted and she had some good reasons for wanting to change things up in 9th grade. 

 

I've raised her well, I've educated her well... I feel like I can send her off knowing that she's bright, sociable, sensible and independent. I guess I figure that homeschooling is not really about me and what I want... it's a two-way relationship.  And if one of us doesn't like it, I don't think it makes sense to keep doing it if there are other options available.  Anyway, I'm excited for our last year together and also excited for her to start 9th grade at the high school.  I want her to make positive decisions in her life and I think attending high school is going to be good for her.  If not? Well... we can always re-evaluate.

 

[AdventuresinHomeschooling]

Find the root reason why. Is it social activity? After he is heard, show him a pro/con list and weigh the most important ones heavily (such as your values, etc.). Talk about all of them. My kids usually change their mind if I get them up really early and show them how long their day would be plus homework. Explain it to him at a more grown-up level so that he understands why you are making the decision. Let him know the decision is ultimately yours. However, discuss with him ways to address his main reasons. Find social ways for him to fit in if it's social, etc. At this stage he is only 11, but as he gets older, it's a great lesson in making decisions and understanding the reasons why you made the decision and will stick to it even if there are cons to it.

[FriedClams]

Our pulicschools are terrible, so PS would not happen here. If we were in another location, with good public schools, or good private school options, then I would take thier input and prayerfully consider the options. Homeschooling tween/teen boys is HARD. Doing it when they don't want to would be miserable. But, whatever you come up with, I would make it be a decision that sticks for AT LEAST a semester. No, "wow, homeschooling is awesome, I want to come home" bouncing around.

 

ETA - I would not allow any badgering or nagging about any decision you make. You said, "He asks me almost daily if he will be able to go as well and his father and I just do not see it happening.  Telling him that upsets him every time." I would put the lock down on that. "____, I hear your concerns and I understand what you are asking. Dad and I are prayerfully considering all the options. Do not nag. Do not ask again. We have heard you and are considering all the options.  If you would like to have your opinion respected in this decision then it's necessary you not nag or pout when you don't get the answer that you want. That behavior shows me that you are not acting maturely enough to be a part of the process. I want you included in this, but you need to be respectful in the process. We will talk as a family and we will come to a conclusion soon, and until then this subject is closed."

[nknapp5]

Thanks for the input.  I know he is only 6th grade but when I started him in K I thought I had all the time in the world to think about his future and here we are with a 6th grader.  It went fast! I just want to make sure if he does end up going that he is ready, not only emotionally, but mentally.  

[SebastianCat]

My now 13 year old wanted to go to public high school when he was 11, and DH and I have been somewhat open to that. But now that he's about to start 8th grade, he says that he'd rather homeschool through high school. We have very good options for outsourcing certain courses, dual enrollment, etc., so as we get closer to that decision it does look like homeschooling with a handful of outsourced classes may be a better choice for him.

 

I agree with others that he needs to have some input at this age, but it's not a decision that needs to be made until 8th grade.

[Chris in VA]

I let her go.

 

I needed her buy-in. She was not going to rebel, but her heart was so sad when she thought I'd say no. When I said yes, there was visible relief on her face. It took her 3 years before she stopped being anxious that I'd pull her. That made me feel really bad.

[ebunny]

I enrolled her back in school. The way I see it- we would give it 1 year and if she was miserable, we could always go back to homeschooling.  But, it's year 3 and going strong. Having said that, the (affordable) schools here are relatively decent quality.

 

 

 

[Mrs. B]

Agree with discussing early to mid year 8th grade. Don't borrow tomorrow's troubles for today.

 

I need to heed my own advice on the 2nd sentence.

[4KookieKids]

So what do you do when your child is younger and asks to go to school? My 6 yo has asked to go to school. He says it's because he wants to learn a LOT, but I suspect it's more about his friends all going to school and he's curious. I don't think he's ready to do more work than we currently do (he's very active and has a hard time sitting, so we do very limited table work and just a lot of being outside and being a kid - this is one of the main reasons I *want* to homeschool him), and I don't think I could give him more table time even if I thought he *could* do it, seeing that I have three younger kids running around and needing attention as well.

[nknapp5]

So what do you do when your child is younger and asks to go to school? My 6 yo has asked to go to school. He says it's because he wants to learn a LOT, but I suspect it's more about his friends all going to school and he's curious. I don't think he's ready to do more work than we currently do (he's very active and has a hard time sitting, so we do very limited table work and just a lot of being outside and being a kid - this is one of the main reasons I *want* to homeschool him), and I don't think I could give him more table time even if I thought he *could* do it, seeing that I have three younger kids running around and needing attention as well.

I feel for you!  I sometimes wish I could send them to PS for one day and then they might appreciate it more.  I understand that kids want to be around their friends but I really want their brothers and sisters to be their best friends!  I even wonder about my older child when it comes to the routine of ps.  Not sure he understands you really aren't around your friends all day.  You have to sit in your seat during class, there is no recess in high school, you can't just go to the bathroom and stay in there as long as you want.  I suspect just like some people say I can't homeschool, I feel like I can't public school.  

[4KookieKids]

I feel for you!  I sometimes wish I could send them to PS for one day and then they might appreciate it more.  I understand that kids want to be around their friends but I really want their brothers and sisters to be their best friends!  I even wonder about my older child when it comes to the routine of ps.  Not sure he understands you really aren't around your friends all day.  You have to sit in your seat during class, there is no recess in high school, you can't just go to the bathroom and stay in there as long as you want. 

 

Yeah, we've tried to explain it to him, but... well... he's six. :)

 

[EKS]

So what do you do when your child is younger and asks to go to school? 

 

I say no.

[SkateLeft]

When my kids would ask, I'd tell them we'll talk about it when the time comes. I don't say yes or no. It's really not worth giving a definitive answer until you're closer to 9th grade. That's not a hill worth dying on when the child is young. All three of my older kids expressed interest in going to school at various times, but especially as preteens.

 

When the time came though, their social networks solved the issue for us. They have a strong network of other homeschooling teens, as well as plenty of friends who attend the public high schools. As teens, they were more aware of how much freedom they had compared to their public school counterparts, and public high school seemed less appealing if it meant they'd have to stop doing things with their homeschooling friends.

 

My son is on the public high school nordic ski team, and my rising senior is on the public high school track team, but both opted to continue homeschooling when high school rolled around. Fortunately, we live in a state where homeschoolers can participate in high school sports.

[Kerry Blue]

So what do you do when your child is younger and asks to go to school? My 6 yo has asked to go to school. He says it's because he wants to learn a LOT, but I suspect it's more about his friends all going to school and he's curious. I don't think he's ready to do more work than we currently do (he's very active and has a hard time sitting, so we do very limited table work and just a lot of being outside and being a kid - this is one of the main reasons I *want* to homeschool him), and I don't think I could give him more table time even if I thought he *could* do it, seeing that I have three younger kids running around and needing attention as well.

What helped my DD to understand the freedom homeschooling gives her is point out the bus going by, every day for about a month. The bus goes by our house at 7:15am and comes back at 3:15pm. If that doesn't work, you could do a day of pretend school. Get up early, eat a quick breakfast, ride the bus to school (sit in a chair until almost time to start school, you can talk, but no getting up), go to the classroom (walk to a different room, which you will have to stay in till lunchtime), etc. DD didn't last too long doing this, because it is boring. Over this past year she has come to realize how little school work she actually does compared to those in the 'Big School.'

[73349]

What helped my DD to understand the freedom homeschooling gives her is point out the bus going by, every day for about a month. The bus goes by our house at 7:15am and comes back at 3:15pm. If that doesn't work, you could do a day of pretend school. Get up early, eat a quick breakfast, ride the bus to school (sit in a chair until almost time to start school, you can talk, but no getting up), go to the classroom (walk to a different room, which you will have to stay in till lunchtime), etc. DD didn't last too long doing this, because it is boring. Over this past year she has come to realize how little school work she actually does compared to those in the 'Big School.'

 

That worked in our house too. The bus goes by at 8:15, and it comes back at like 4:45. Do you want school to last that long? No, he does not. Even on a pretty boring day at home, he's had hours to play by the time those kids are getting off that bus--with homework in their backpacks.

[Reefgazer]

If his thing is sports, can you find his chosen sport outside of school, in the community? 

[RootAnn]

  He asks me almost daily if he will be able to go as well and his father and I just do not see it happening.  ... I hate to see him upset and the thought of not seeing his bf anymore really upsets him.  

 

I had a couple of my kids want to go to PS when they were younger. I have sometimes thought about sending them "for a day" to see what it is really like. I haven't done so yet. Older two kids both prefer homeschooling at this point. DD#3 is extremely social and still might harbor want-to-go-to-PS thoughts, but she hasn't expressed them in awhile, especially since two girls her age joined our HS group.

 

DD#2's best friend is a public schooled girl. She doesn't get to see her very often during the school year, but I do make sure they can get time together as often as possible. It ends up being once every couple of months during the school year and more often in summer (pool, library reading program, arranged sleep overs). If necessary, I will increase the school year frequency to weekly if she needs it in the future. 

 

Have you discussed with your son's best friend's parents how your sons can continue to see each other on a regular basis (if they still want to) after their ds goes to school? Still having a once-per-week (weekend or week-night) get together to look forward to might help.

 

I agree with other posters that in order to homeschool high school successfully, it is best to have a compliant (vs. truculent-because-I-don't-want-to-homeschool) child.

[4KookieKids]

What helped my DD to understand the freedom homeschooling gives her is point out the bus going by, every day for about a month. The bus goes by our house at 7:15am and comes back at 3:15pm. If that doesn't work, you could do a day of pretend school. Get up early, eat a quick breakfast, ride the bus to school (sit in a chair until almost time to start school, you can talk, but no getting up), go to the classroom (walk to a different room, which you will have to stay in till lunchtime), etc. DD didn't last too long doing this, because it is boring. Over this past year she has come to realize how little school work she actually does compared to those in the 'Big School.'

 

S we've tried to explain to him the time thing - many times! And we've tried to put it in terms that he could understand (from breakfast until after the girls nap when daddy gets home). I still don't think he gets it. Could something like this be implemented if I have three younger children (including a 2 month old) and he's not reading independently yet (so couldn't actually DO that much school work without me)?

[Kerry Blue]

S we've tried to explain to him the time thing - many times! And we've tried to put it in terms that he could understand (from breakfast until after the girls nap when daddy gets home). I still don't think he gets it. Could something like this be implemented if I have three younger children (including a 2 month old) and he's not reading independently yet (so couldn't actually DO that much school work without me)?

Ah, I did not realize you had youngers around, which makes logistics of these things difficult. Hmmm... well, you can still point out the bus coming and going in the fall. Like I said with my DD, it took about a month for it to sink in that she did not want to spend all that time at school. Does he get to play with his friends during the week? Perhaps he might understand more when he is free to play, but sorry, his friends are still doing schoolwork.

 

If you really wish to push the matter, you could try to 'do school at home' at a time when someone else is around to watch the younger ones. This might mean giving up a weekend day, but it would give you the leeway to do it.

 

Have you asked him what he wants to learn? Maybe exploring an interest at home would help.

 

P.S. Sorry to hijack the thread like this.

[Jean in Newcastle]

When my kids were much younger I just told them that as parents we needed to make that choice for them and at that time the answer was "no".  I tried to find out what the needs were and some of the wants and provided those if possible.  In our case, the main want was that yellow school bus!  We actually got to ride one to and from a special park event (as a shuttle bus) and that satisfied my kids on that regard because they saw that it wasn't all that great after all.   ;)

 

When my kids were older they got more say in the decision.  But the crucial points were right at 6th grade when our school district shifts to middle school and then again at 9th.  By 6th grade, ds was able to see that public school wouldn't meet his needs.  Dd wasn't as convinced but she was old enough for me to explain that her learning disabilities would have made things academically miserable for her.  Now that she is going into 8th grade, she's totally happy being homeschooled.  I did meet her needs in her tween and early teens though by plugging her into the Y.  She gets all the teen drama she wants in a very nice setting!  We'll address it again in a year but I don't think she'll change her mind at this point. 

 

 

[razzles]

I am reading this with interest as its a question I've been asked lots by non homeschoolers. What if she wants to go to school? In the past, when I was of more of an unschooling flavour, I would have said I'd let her go, secretly hoping she would never ask or that I'd manage to convince her otherwise. This was years ago when she was only three and I didn't send her to nursery with the other kids. Now in the last few years I have kind of changed my stance to one that is far more accepting of a parent having the right to say NO if it's not ok. I still don't know what I'd do at the time but I think if you take their feelings into account and still think it's not the best idea, then you CAN say no. I guess it really depends on your own parenting style and relationship but I think it should be said that its OK to make that decision for them.

 

I hope it goes well, my daughter is still only young so I can't pretend to have been there but I wanted to agree with the fewer posters who said that they would say no.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[razzles]

I am reading this with interest as its a question I've been asked lots by non homeschoolers. What if she wants to go to school? In the past, when I was of more of an unschooling flavour, I would have said I'd let her go, secretly hoping she would never ask or that I'd manage to convince her otherwise. This was years ago when she was only three and I didn't send her to nursery with the other kids. Now in the last few years I have kind of changed my stance to one that is far more accepting of a parent having the right to say NO if it's not ok. I still don't know what I'd do at the time but I think if you take their feelings into account and still think it's not the best idea, then you CAN say no. I guess it really depends on your own parenting style and relationship but I think it should be said that its OK to make that decision for them.

 

I hope it goes well, my daughter is still only young so I can't pretend to have been there but I wanted to agree with the fewer posters who said that they would say no.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[4KookieKids]

Yeah, so far we've explained to him the "practical" side (less fun, less playing, more sitting, waiting, can't practice German at school since we're teaching bilingually, etc.) and we've also explained that, while he's free to ask more questions, he's not free to complain or argue. We're the parents, and we are going to do what we believe is best. I really think he just doesn't understand yet (like wanting a dog, but not wanting the commitment of a dog once it's here), and that will probably only come with time. :) Thanks for all your thoughts!

[purpleroses]

There's no harm in trying. She can always go back to homeschool if she doesn't like public school.

[TheApprentice]

Well, we are in the same situation. Our state does not allow for a high school sport/homeschool combination. My son wants to play high school sports, he even wants to get a scholarship in that sport for college. At this age, I allowed him to make the decision because it is one that could affect his life's journey. He really wants to play this sport and the level of competition is just not available at the rec level. Our homeschool group has a team, but it is just not competitive enough for colleges to be interested. He does know that academics still come first, so while the schools expectation is a 2.0 average, that will not cut it here. To play his sport, he needs to be making good grades. I absolutely hate that this is our only option right now, but I had to step back and realize that this is his dream and his journey and my job is to help him and support him. It's tough though.

[Arcadia]

We brought our kids to the open house of their assigned schools. Kids were unimpressed and they know that we applied for open enrollment for them and they couldn't get a place.

 

We couldn't find a private school we like and we didn't do anything about it other than trying to keep them academically engaged. After two years, kids were just becoming disengaged so we started to check out B&M classes for after schoolers and homeschoolers. Last year with outside classes was a good academic year for us. The drive that was gone came back for my oldest and my youngest learn to be more independent. He has a learned dependency on the oldest (who is unfortunately too softhearted)

 

You and your husband have to decide what works for each of your child and just take it a year at a time, or even a semester at a time.

My 6 yo has asked to go to school. He says it's because he wants to learn a LOT, but I suspect it's more about his friends all going to school and he's curious.

My oldest had been to B&M public school for two years. He missed the discussions/group projects part of school. Even though my younger boy doesn't take much of my time, there is just so much intellectual stimulant hubby and I can provide. We resolve it by putting him in much more outside B&M academic classes. We went from one class (German, 2.5hrs) when we pulled him out of B&M to four classes (German, math, science, music theory group class, total 9.5hrs). This fall he will have Chinese class, 1.5hrs as well.

 

We don't have a school bus for k-8 as the school is a 5mins walk down the road.

 

His German class is very conversational, the bulk of the seat work is homework. His music theory class is tutorial style. The rest of his classes are very hands on. He looks forward to end of summer so that he would be back in "school".

 

They are taking the AoPS classes online now for the summer but oldest feels socially isolated. Luckily I did sign him up for some B&M short summer classes which he enjoyed. Haven't seen any of my neighbors kids all summer, same as for past summers.

[AdventuresinHomeschooling]

So what do you do when your child is younger and asks to go to school? My 6 yo has asked to go to school. He says it's because he wants to learn a LOT, but I suspect it's more about his friends all going to school and he's curious. I don't think he's ready to do more work than we currently do (he's very active and has a hard time sitting, so we do very limited table work and just a lot of being outside and being a kid - this is one of the main reasons I *want* to homeschool him), and I don't think I could give him more table time even if I thought he *could* do it, seeing that I have three younger kids running around and needing attention as well.

My kindergartener asked that a few times this year. We just moved, and I think he missed preschool and his friends. His big brother who remembers the long days usually talks him out of it. We also highlight the flexibility of going to the park and other fun places mid-week. He went to a camp this week from 8-3 every day, and he saw how long the day was and how little time he had to play at home and how early he had to get up and go to bed. I told him school would be like that except you'd be at a desk all day instead of playing games, and you'd have to come home and do homework every night. He has no desire to go now.

[mamakelly]

For high school, homeschooling only works if the kid is onboard. Really, you do not want to homeschool a reluctant high schooler. If he's a 6th grader, he probably just want the reassurance that you won't shut his ideas down when high school comes. For now, reassure him that you will make the decision together when the time comes, and you will take his opinions and ideas seriously. 

[Mimm]

I believe in a child having some say so in their education as a teen. One of mine wanted to go to public school and it was a good experience. She starts high school next month. I would never want to homeschool a high schooler who didn't want to just because I wanted to shelter them. Unless the schools where I lived were truly abysmal (and not just normal public schools with all the usual negatives that come with that) or I just knew this particular child would do horribly, I would let them go. My 12 year old is choosing to stay home and thinks she will want to through high school. Both my kids are jealous of the opportunities the other gets. :) They realize they trade certain things they would like for other things they want more.

[nknapp5]

Well, we are in the same situation. Our state does not allow for a high school sport/homeschool combination. My son wants to play high school sports, he even wants to get a scholarship in that sport for college. At this age, I allowed him to make the decision because it is one that could affect his life's journey. He really wants to play this sport and the level of competition is just not available at the rec level. Our homeschool group has a team, but it is just not competitive enough for colleges to be interested. He does know that academics still come first, so while the schools expectation is a 2.0 average, that will not cut it here. To play his sport, he needs to be making good grades. I absolutely hate that this is our only option right now, but I had to step back and realize that this is his dream and his journey and my job is to help him and support him. It's tough though.

This is the exact situation we are facing.  We have had hsing families in our community try to go to the school board to let their child play sports while still being homeschooled and they want nothing to do with it!  No one has been willing to take it to court though.  But due to the recent cuts the school has now made it where you have to pay to play.  I am hoping in the next few years that they will be in such need for money that they will allow anyone willing to pay, play sports!

[Sahamamama]

I have a ds 11 who is asking to go to public school starting in high school.  Where we live you can play football out of school until 8th grade and then you must be enrolled in public school to continue.  His very best friend (currently homeschooled) will start ps freshmen yr for the main purpose of playing sports.  He asks me almost daily if he will be able to go as well and his father and I just do not see it happening.  Telling him that upsets him every time.  He is good at sports but I don't see athletics being a main goal in his future.  I hate to see him upset and the thought of not seeing his bf anymore really upsets him.  Has anyone ever dealt with this?  If they asked and begged and you didn't let them go, did they end up hating you for it?  I homeschool b/c I feel responsible for my child's education.  We are also Christians and want him to have a Christ centered education.  I do shelter my children to a certain extent but my oldest is 11 so I don't see that as a problem.  I just don't want our decision to backfire and he rebels against us b/c he isn't getting his way.  Any thoughts would be appreciated!

 

My oldest is 10.5 and if our answer was "no," then I wouldn't expect her to ask me almost daily. Is he asking repeatedly because he thinks he can wear out your resolve? He might be sensing that your "no" is not really a firm "no." What are your convictions? Are you giving him an explanation of your thinking, or just the "no?" I think that at his age, children begin to need and want our reasons for our answers.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I couldn't imagine HSing a reluctant teenager, my mom tried it with me and it turned out bad.  It took us years  to get past the anger and for me to forgive them(for many things other then the HSing).  There was a lot of sheltering which made it such a big deal when I got away from them that I went wild.  I did everything you don't want your new adult/teen to do and they could do nothing about it.  Both parents have apologized for their *bad decisions and we get along fairly well now but I was nearly 30 and moved 1000+ miles away for that to happen.  

 

*bad decisions= I don't think my parents made horrible mistakes, they did the best they could with the tools and understanding they had and I no longer blame them, that doesn't mean things wouldn't have been better for us all if they had done differently (I was miserable so I made them miserable).

[fairfarmhand]

Here's what I would do

 

1. "Dear, we will talk about that when you are in the middle of 8th grade. There's no reason to fret, nag, gripe or complain until then, so you need to drop it. " If necessary, I would find additional chores every time it was brought up until that point.

 

2. I would thoughtfully consider it. I'd also keep in the back of my mind that things change drastically in middle school. Kids' interests change and friendships cool because the road of life just diverges some. Also, I would realize that the other hsing family may feel differently in a few years too! It's easy to say something like that now, but when the other kid is struggling with stuff the other family may reevaluate and go "not a good idea right now"

 

3. I would start finding a HUGE pool of many friends for my son. Of course, there is his bestie, but there are also many other kids with whom he can share time and interests. When the time comes, he may reconsider the option when he has many other friends with whom to fill his time. I would start making friend time a priority. I would have standing dates to be out of the house several times a week. Yes it is inconvenient and sometimes expensive, but it is needed when a kid starts middle school.

 

4. I would start signing him up for co-ops and outside classes, just to give him a taste of what "real school" is like. Even if the classes don't exactly line up with your beliefs, it's time for him to be able to navigate these things. If you've done a good job of building that foundation, he will likely be fine.

 

5. I would also keep in the back of my mind that if bestie goes to school and is very athletically talented and your son isn't so inclined, it's quite likely that their friendship will cool a bit even if they are attending the same school. Sports takes a huge amount of time and bestie will be hanging out with sports team members for many many hours each week. So attending school just for that one friend may not really solve the problem.