WestHoustonMom Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I'm so disappointed and upset for DS. His birthday party is this Sunday, and I haven't heard from any of his friends' parents. I'm so afraid that no one will come,and he'll be really upset. I know it's because of the holiday weekend, but the pool that we're having it at only had this date available. If no one comes, it will just be DH and I, younger DS and my mother and her boyfriend. Which will be very awkward because I don't get along too well with my mother anyway. Any ideas to make this better for DS? I'm so at a loss as to what to do. I would start calling around to his friends' parents, but they are friends from his former school and I don't have anyone's phone number. I'm also really upset about the amount of money that went into this party. It was about $350 just to rent this pool for 2 hours, and then I spent a lot of money at Oriental Trading for favors and plates and decor. This is the first real birthday party he's had since his first. Normally we jut go somewhere nice to eat with family. I had no idea how crazy expensive kids parties could be, and then to spend all this money and no one is coming. I just want to cry, and I'm really hoping that DS won't get too upset himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I say this gently (soooo gently). You said that you know the no-show status is because of the holiday weekend. I can definitely understand being upset, but if you knew that the party wouldn't have a good turn-out because of the holiday weekend, why did you invest so much (both emotionally and financially)? Please know that I say this as someone who is in this exact same position every year with DD13. Her birthday is the second week of August - all of her friends (and most of our family members) are either busy with last minute vacations or busy getting ready for the school year (which starts the next week). These days we just do a BBQ with anyone who *can* come... but this year DD requested we get a sitter for the boys (her little brothers) and she wants us to take her a restaurant (one we wouldn't normally go to because of her much younger siblings, lol), and a movie. Can you get a refund on the pool reservation? Can you move the party to the next week and move it to a different location? It's really (generally) best to plan parties at least a week AFTER major holidays - even if that is a week or two after the kiddo's birthday. I'm sorry :( 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Over the chance to go to the party to any kids you know. Tell them of your troubles and let them know they are welcome to come without having to worry about getting your son anything other then a home made card. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WestHoustonMom Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 I say this gently (soooo gently). You said that you know the no-show status is because of the holiday weekend. I can definitely understand being upset, but if you knew that the party wouldn't have a good turn-out because of the holiday weekend, why did you invest so much (both emotionally and financially)? Please know that I say this as someone who is in this exact same position every year with DD13. Her birthday is the second week of August - all of her friends (and most of our family members) are either busy with last minute vacations or busy getting ready for the school year (which starts the next week). These days we just do a BBQ with anyone who *can* come... but this year DD requested we get a sitter for the boys (her little brothers) and she wants us to take her a restaurant (one we wouldn't normally go to because of her much younger siblings, lol), and a movie. Can you get a refund on the pool reservation? Can you move the party to the next week and move it to a different location? It's really (generally) best to plan parties at least a week AFTER major holidays - even if that is a week or two after the kiddo's birthday. I'm sorry :( I really wish I could get a refund, but they only do refunds for bad weather. This is a really neat kids pool with a Noah's Ark theme and small waterslides and it's his favorite pool, so I don't think we could move it. We were so excited to find a date that it was open, that we didn't think about it being a holiday weekend until a few weeks later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WestHoustonMom Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 Over the chance to go to the party to any kids you know. Tell them of your troubles and let them know they are welcome to come without having to worry about getting your son anything other then a home made card. We've tried this too, but all the kids we know that are his age will be out of town. Our neighbors' kids might have come, but they think the pool is too babyish for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Over the chance to go to the party to any kids you know. Tell them of your troubles and let them know they are welcome to come without having to worry about getting your son anything other then a home made card.I would first try to track down the parents. If not, post a plea to your friends on facebook with a cute pic of DS. My 5-year-old thinks everyone is his friend. He'd probably just make friends with kids that show up and be pretty happy. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I'd probably take him somewhere like Chuck E Cheese, amusement park, or a bounce house place. I know more money. And I don't enjoy these places. But my kids loved them and they would have been thrilled and not thought about those details. I do think the timing was less than ideal. My birthday is on July 2nd. I never had a birthday party. People are just doing other things. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 It sounds like your son will enjoy the pool regardless of who does, or doesn't, come! Go with that ;) Kids are awfully flexible like that. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymonster Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I'd pull out all the stops to hustle up guests... Facebook, friends from church (if you go), friends from co-ops, your friends from anywhere (they don't have to have kids). If your DS's school had an email list to contact the parents, I'd be searching my email box. It's going to be tough to find people at this short of a notice and on a holiday weekend, but the money is already gone so you might as well use the facility. My DS6 just had a birthday where I just didn't think we'd have enough people, and I ended up inviting just everyone. Most of the guests were people who didn't have kids, but DS6 didn't care -- he just knew people loved him. I'd go with bodies over quality. :001_smile: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 We've tried this too, but all the kids we know that are his age will be out of town. Our neighbors' kids might have come, but they think the pool is too babyish for them. Are they generally nice kids that you or their mom can encourage to go and have fun for your son's sake? I'd try to reach out to anyone who might possibly know the phone number of an invited kid. Perhaps if you get one number, you can get others? Good luck! :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 You did not say how far in advance invitations went out. I would call each invited family tomorrow "just to confirm" for Sunday. For all you know, these families may have been too disorganized to reply on time but were planning to attend. I am sorry if you end up having to learn an expensive lesson. If thete are "no shows", speak kindly of them to your son lest you unintentionally model bitterness. Go to the pool and have a good birthday, focusing on him. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Elliot Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 my first post! I'm in Houston. Are you in any of the local homeschool FB groups? You can post an invite to those groups. It's definitely been done before. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Unfortunately, I've found that some people just don't seem to bother with RSVP's, but we still have a good turnout. Hoping that is the case for you, too! If you do just have family, don't make a big deal out of it in front of your son. He will have a good time regardless! As someone said upthread, kids are flexible. Keep some of the OTC stuff in its packaging if possible, and you can return it for a refund if necessary. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Hey, he'll have the whole place to himself and no standing in line for slides- Cool! It will be fine as long as you market it as 'fine.' Kids don't know about high expectations, they just know fun. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 If you are *positive* they are not coming and can swing the cost, I would send a note to the invitees telling them that due to last-minute circumstances the party has to be moved. And then do something on a date when more people are available. But first contact them and make sure that they are indeed not available, because some people just do not RSVP. If that's not possible, tell DS well in advance that everyone already had plans because of the holiday, and offer to have another low key "friends over" party later in the summer and make it clear that this is just a family party. I'm so disappointed and upset for DS. His birthday party is this Sunday, and I haven't heard from any of his friends' parents. I'm so afraid that no one will come,and he'll be really upset. I know it's because of the holiday weekend, but the pool that we're having it at only had this date available. If no one comes, it will just be DH and I, younger DS and my mother and her boyfriend. Which will be very awkward because I don't get along too well with my mother anyway. Any ideas to make this better for DS? I'm so at a loss as to what to do. I would start calling around to his friends' parents, but they are friends from his former school and I don't have anyone's phone number. I'm also really upset about the amount of money that went into this party. It was about $350 just to rent this pool for 2 hours, and then I spent a lot of money at Oriental Trading for favors and plates and decor. This is the first real birthday party he's had since his first. Normally we jut go somewhere nice to eat with family. I had no idea how crazy expensive kids parties could be, and then to spend all this money and no one is coming. I just want to cry, and I'm really hoping that DS won't get too upset himself. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 my first post! I'm in Houston. Are you in any of the local homeschool FB groups? You can post an invite to those groups. It's definitely been done before. Welcome, darshana! :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Can you email the other parents? Can you check and see if they are on Facebook so you could send them a message there? I hope you get a good turnout. You must be a nervous wreck worrying about this. :( I can tell it's not about the money; you just want your son to have a special birthday. :grouphug: One quick idea -- in case your ds feels disappointed at bedtime after the party, save one of his birthday gifts for him to open as a special surprise. It's amazing how quickly a little kid can forget his troubles when he is opening a new toy. :) 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 my first post! I'm in Houston. Are you in any of the local homeschool FB groups? You can post an invite to those groups. It's definitely been done before. That's what I'd do -- give a shout out on FB groups, Yahoo homeschool groups, whatever you belong to. You'd probably have lots of people show up (possibly too many?). 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 If you are *positive* they are not coming and can swing the cost, I would send a note to the invitees telling them that due to last-minute circumstances the party has to be moved. And then do something on a date when more people are available. But first contact them and make sure that they are indeed not available, because some people just do not RSVP. If that's not possible, tell DS well in advance that everyone already had plans because of the holiday, and offer to have another low key "friends over" party later in the summer and make it clear that this is just a family party. This. Honesty is always best, IMO. What kid wouldn't see through a bunch of random strangers showing up, or having his party be all boring adults? Even a 5 yo birthday kid can handle some disappointment. Tell him it ended up being an awkward weekend, you can go to the pool anyway if he wants, and you'll try again later in the summer. That beats deception any day. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xahm Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I'd first find out if it is going to be a problem. Ask your son, if you haven't yet, "hey, buddy? Are you excited about the party? What do you think is going to be the best part?" If he's all about the pool or presents or cake, play those up and he'll have a blast. If he's all about the friends, try really hard to get in touch with any he mentions. You may then need to have a chat about how some kids already had family plans (if you can't get in touch I would say "may have plans but are going to try to come") but that you will have a blast at the pool and will find another time to get together with buddies. That would be like him getting two parties! How exciting! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I have no advice to offer. I just wanted to sympathize and say that I am hoping and praying that things go well today and that your son has a great time no matter who does (or doesn't) show up. My own daughter's 5th birthday is this week, and we're having her party today as well--but it's family only, at grandma's house, and even then one grandparent and one aunt/uncle/cousins set won't be there due to holiday travel. It will be my daughter, one sort-of cousin her age, two other cousins under 10, one tween cousin, one teen cousin, and a bunch of adults. We don't have friends in the area (we're only here for the summer), so we didn't try to plan anything bigger than this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 When I used to have birthday parties I called all the parents to get confirmation. Just call and get an official tally. One year a bunch couldn't come. I got out phone lists from previous activities, made up something about planning stages the last minute and called bunches of people. Ds did enjoy that party even though it was with a completely different group. There are people who don't travel on the holiday, you just have to find them. I had a neighbor who used to found up all the kids big and small in the neighborhood and bring them all to the party. This can be done last minute. As in look, five kids on the swings in the tot lot, do they want to eat cake and swim. Tell the to run hiome for their swim gear and come yo the pool. If the pool is a drive, get parent permission and drive them all (you and dh would have to drive separate vehicles probably. I stopped doing parties. The RSVP thing was a pain. We started doing destinations(a chess tournament, Amercan Girl in NYC and a show, a rock concert, museum adventure program, whatever fits the child at the time). For the money you spend on the party you can sometimes create a more permanent lasting memory. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Thinking out of the box here: Just because you have reserved the pool doesn't mean you can't open it up to others, right? So make a sign to post outside the pool saying that it's your son's birthday and he is inviting the first X# of people to join him (whatever the limit is based on your rental contract) in celebrating his special day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Just a thought, but if he doesn't know who all was invited, perhaps you can turn it into a special surprise. Say something like, "Look! We reserved the pool for just our family today. Isn't that COOL?" At 5, all he is likely to remember is if he had a good time. All my dd remembers about her fifth birthday party is the "gigantic cake" ( the bakery gave us a free cake on the day of the party because they had lost our order) and the blue dress she wore. So don't let on that it is disappointing that no one showed up. Have a great time- even if that takes some effort- and so will your ds. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Thinking of you today, WestHoustonMom, and hoping your ds has a great time at his party today. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I too have been thinking of you and hoping your son has a fantastic birthday. Please let us know how it goes:) Happy Happy Birthday to your son!! My friends little girl's b-day is today and she told me she loves having a birthday the day after the 4th. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 thinking of you today, too, OP. I hope the party turns out nice. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I hope he had a nice birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakelly Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Hoping it went well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Please post an update when you are able! Hope your son had a wonderful birthday. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Bumping for an update! :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 How did it go, op? We are all hoping to hear that your ds had a great birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 How'd it go? Hope he had a great day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I do think the timing was less than ideal. My birthday is on July 2nd. I never had a birthday party. People are just doing other things. We had this issue with ds as he was growing up. His birthday often falls on Labor Day Weekend. We've either had his party the week before or the week after because so many people were either out of town or had their own plans at home that weekend. How did it go OP? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 So curious... hope he had a great birthday! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaniemom Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I was hoping for an update. I hope he had a great time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 My birthday is on July 2nd. I never had a birthday party. People are just doing other things. Rather a bummer, I agree. You really could have had sparklers on your cake (placed at a very safe distance from people) instead of candles! One of our sons celebrates his nameday on July 2nd; another son celebrates his nameday on July 4th. (For Orthodox Christians, the nameday is more important than the birthday, hence the importance for our family.) We just blend in with the civil holiday and enjoy that they both get fireworks [supposedly, although obviously not] in their honor! They have birthday activities for those days at other times of the year. (Our other son's nameday is on January 1st, so he gets fireworks, too.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Bumping for an update! (reminded by another b-day thread currently going on) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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