SKL Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 http://smile.amazon.com/Vans-Authentic-Unisex-Sneakers-Plimsolls/dp/B00Q8Q0ZL4/ref=pd_sbs_309_7?ie=UTF8&refRID=0EPCS2V9E3QFMWPAW65A http://smile.amazon.com/BOLALA-Cartoon-Little-Horses-Sneaker/dp/B00Y9HOGC8/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1434725250&sr=8-8&keywords=boy+shoe+little+boy+sparkle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 They also make sparkly "wings" and stuff that can bee affixed to boys' shoes. They are sparkly but don't scream "girly." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 OH MY GOD.....My kid would flip. He loves MLP!! Too bad they are men's though. Although honestly neither one of those shoes strike me as particularly girly. There are a lot of Bronies out there. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I have a daughter who is very athletic who participates in activities that are generally very "boy"ish. She also loves superheroes/comics/Mexican wrestling. If her feet were small enough she would totally want these green/black light-up robot shoes http://thumbs.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/pict/231521544585_1.jpgbecause her robotics team colors are green/black. But she also wishes there were girls superhero clothes that were the "right" colors, not all pink and glitter, but with a feminie fit. When she was younger I did explain to her that certain things were from the boy's dept., and she could wear them if she wished, but I wanted her to know that some people wouldn't really get it and might be rude about it. Even now she wears the men's Old Navy flip flops- grey and black, because her feet are too wide for the ladies style. Polished toenails, and she rocks them like a girl! :coolgleamA: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imagine.more Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Yes, I'd explain it, and have explained it to my high-functioning autistic son. I let him know that whatever he chooses is perfectly acceptable, but that choice X is generally considered for girls and some people might make fun of him. Sometimes, he decides it's worth it and chooses choice X. Sometimes, he picks something more "boy." Yes, this. Like you said it's about being informed. Make sure he's aware of it and then he can make his choice. Fwiw I retain veto rights on any clothes my kids try to buy at the store because a) i know better than them and b) i'm the one buying. I'm all for individuality but not at the expense of modesty (just basic "can I see your underwear" kinda thing) or appropriateness to the situation (no you may not wear shorts in february). I think drastically girly shoes could fall under that for a child who's not able to totally understand that choice himself. But then I don't buy my 2 year old daughter sparkly or character shoes either because they bug me, lol! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 They also make those boy light up shoes. Maybe he would love those! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Well, that doesn't seem like it would offer him much insight into the nature of social expectations about clothing. OP, I would explain it to him. I don't have a problem with things that are inherently neutral and also pretty much irrelevant, like colours, being associated with one sex or the other. In fact I think those are the ideal sorts of things to use in that way, rather than masculinizing or feminizing things that do impact people or society in a significant way. It is just one way that humans build culture around their biological and social realities, and I think that is a deep human need and so likely serves an important social function. Pink or blue for boys or girls is somewhat random, it has no significant effect on society or individuals, and it can even be flouted, for whatever reason, without serious social consequences. That in itself might be valuable, it is so difficult to flout society when there are no social norms. With someone who doesn't easily pick up on those kinds of social cues, I think telling about them explicitly is going to be important. And "it's not appropriate" is not an answer that will fly with my spectrum kid at all. "Why? What's your proof? Who defines "appropriate" anyways?" And don't even try to say "just because". "That's not a real answer! What's the evidence? Who decides? Just because I'm a boy I can't have a pink rain coat? That's ridiculous! This is tyrannical!" P And yeah, he sounded like that at age 6. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 And "it's not appropriate" is not an answer that will fly with my spectrum kid at all. "Why? What's your proof? Who defines "appropriate" anyways?" And don't even try to say "just because". "That's not a real answer! What's the evidence? Who decides? Just because I'm a boy I can't have a pink rain coat? That's ridiculous! This is tyrannical!" P And yeah, he sounded like that at age 6. Most of us are not saying a boy should not knowingly choose to buck the gender stereotypes. Only that it should be an informed choice. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Although when I find myself explaining things about gender stereotypes I start to hear how stupid they sound. They are so damn stupid. So I never feel like I'm informing because why would I tell my kid such nonsense? So yeah a lot of times I really don't say anything because I have nothing useful to say. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Although when I find myself explaining things about gender stereotypes I start to hear how stupid they sound. They are so damn stupid. So I never feel like I'm informing because why would I tell my kid such nonsense? So yeah a lot of times I really don't say anything because I have nothing useful to say. I don't find myself ever having to explain to my neurotypical school-aged kids why kids choose to follow gender norms in clothing. They understand it without having it explained. Honestly, I don't totally understand it myself - why are so many women's clothes close-fitting for example? But, like most people, I find it easier to play along, making my own small comfort adjustments, it than to fuss and make a big statement about it. I have bigger things to fuss about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I don't find myself ever having to explain to my neurotypical school-aged kids why kids choose to follow gender norms in clothing. They understand it without having it explained. Honestly, I don't totally understand it myself - why are so many women's clothes close-fitting for example? But, like most people, I find it easier to play along, making my own small comfort adjustments, it than to fuss and make a big statement about it. I have bigger things to fuss about. My kids haven't been bullied into it. So i believe that's part of it. And for girls, frankly I think it is generally easier. There seems to be an attitude that girls can be who they want to be. Sure there are still those out there who would tease and be mean, but you know the whole "girl power" thing. It's seen as exercising freedom, choice and power if a girl does something traditionally "boyish". But the same can definitely not be said the other way around. This may vary from place to place. Around here it would be about survival. It's dangerous to be too open about who one really is and what their real preferences are. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 And "it's not appropriate" is not an answer that will fly with my spectrum kid at all. "Why? What's your proof? Who defines "appropriate" anyways?" And don't even try to say "just because". "That's not a real answer! What's the evidence? Who decides? Just because I'm a boy I can't have a pink rain coat? That's ridiculous! This is tyrannical!" P And yeah, he sounded like that at age 6. :lol: If you had asked the same question luuknam asked, I would have said to get him the shoes. Honestly. Your son has a different attitude and he doesn't care what other people think, and I would say you should explain the potential negatives to wearing pink sparkly shoes, but if he is fine with that, I would ultimately prioritize encouraging his strong sense of self and let him have the shoes. I responded differently in luuknam's case because it sounds like it is important to him to conform to standard societal norms of what boys do and what boys wear. Two different kids, two different answers. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I would def. explain it to him. My oldest is 17 and very artsy. His favorite color is purple. He likes the dark purple and wants a lot of things in that color. He knows some think it is feminine and he doesn't care. He often pairs it with black. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 I won't buy them sparkly shoes because I buy them one pair of shoes and I want a pair that will be functional in a wide variety of situations. I would've only bought him only one pair of shoes (sneakers), but they had a BOGO50%off, so the pink sparkly shoes cost me $5. I actually wanted sandals as the second pair, but they didn't have any in his size. I'm pretty confident that within a couple of weeks nobody will be able to tell that what color etc the sneakers were originally, lol... C's been digging in the dirt whenever he can lately. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I would've only bought him only one pair of shoes (sneakers), but they had a BOGO50%off, so the pink sparkly shoes cost me $5. I actually wanted sandals as the second pair, but they didn't have any in his size. I'm pretty confident that within a couple of weeks nobody will be able to tell that what color etc the sneakers were originally, lol... C's been digging in the dirt whenever he can lately. woot! There aren't many options for shoes around here. Payless went out of business. That leaves Walmart which is a hit or miss. Target which appears not to have a boy's shoe department at all. And Famous Footwear. I usually shop there because they have a good selection, but they are expensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 OP - I read your post out loud to my family last night and we got a universal vote. Buy the shoes he likes and will wear (MOST IMPORTANT!) and mention that some people might not like sparkly shoes for boys - they think boys should only have boring colors. Not a big deal..... just giving him answers in case someone harasses him about the color. It's so rare that we have a unanimous vote among my contentious crew that I thought I would share. And they all agreed the MLP shoes in that link were VERY COOL! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I would point out that the girl shoes are narrower and may hurt his feet. If he likes the pink & sparkles could you buy white canvas shoes and let him make them however he wants? Having girls and boys, I have found that boy clothes & shoes seem to be constructed to last longer. Definitely agreed here. Though I hadn't realized that was the problem. Thought the quality had gone downhill since there was 4 years between them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 And "it's not appropriate" is not an answer that will fly with my spectrum kid at all. "Why? What's your proof? Who defines "appropriate" anyways?" And don't even try to say "just because". "That's not a real answer! What's the evidence? Who decides? Just because I'm a boy I can't have a pink rain coat? That's ridiculous! This is tyrannical!" P And yeah, he sounded like that at age 6. Oh my stars, this!!! We have this sort of conversation waaaaaaay too often at my house. If I could permanently ban the words "technically", "acctually", and "theoretically" I would have fewer headaches. I am certain of it. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 OP - I read your post out loud to my family last night and we got a universal vote. Buy the shoes he likes and will wear (MOST IMPORTANT!) and mention that some people might not like sparkly shoes for boys - they think boys should only have boring colors. Not a big deal..... just giving him answers in case someone harasses him about the color. It's so rare that we have a unanimous vote among my contentious crew that I thought I would share. And they all agreed the MLP shoes in that link were VERY COOL! I'm glad to have been able to provide your family with some bonding time or w/e you'd call it... time spent together agreeing on things. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Just wondering though, are boys feet actually much wider? I don't mean big boys. I have small feet, but I find women's shoes to be too narrow. I try to look for wide shoes. It's actually such a problem that I have an issue with one of my toes. Women's shoes just squish my feet. I don't know if that is intentional or my feet are messed up. If I buy the wide size I take a smaller size too. I can only deal with the regular width if I go up a size. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Only skimmed a few replies, but I would explain that "some people" feel this way but that YOU think he should get whatever shoes he likes and wants to wear. You know your child best and would know how he will feel about this. But I do think it's our job to explain to our kids how people might think and perceive them and how much they should let that affect them. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 And on the "no one comments as far as girls go", DD10 got a lot of comments assuming she was a little boy when she was younger, and it's actually one reason why she now refuses to cut her hair. She's always gravitated to the boys' section (or to racks at national and state park gift shops), because you just don't find many reptile-themed and dinosaur themed shirts sold for girls. Coupled with shorts or jeans, and, yeah, it might be hard to tell. And while she went through a skirts/tutus everywhere phase, that's not very conducive for catching snakes. So, she also gravitated towards hair bows, braids, and various styles that were definitely girly to go with her jeans and t-shirts. (Now, her most common hairstyle is a bun made around a snap bracelet snake, with the head poking out). I also suspect that one reason why she gravitated towards cheer is that it's a "girly" sport-one where big bows, lots of makeup, and glitter are de rigueur for female athletes. It's a chance to get her "girly" on when she spends so much of her life where sunscreen, short nails, and hats with mosquito netting are much more common. This is the exact reason my daughter wears a lot of boy shirts. She likes her brothers handmedowns and she LOVES dinosaurs and dragons and they are easier to find on the boys side. So far she has not been mistaken as a boy. OTOH our kids seem to have more feminine faces. My son used to be taken for a girl as a little kid a lot and still gets comments on his eyelashes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Just wondering though, are boys feet actually much wider? I don't have stats for you (though Google probably does), but the first pair C tried on he felt was too narrow. That said, the previous time we went shoe-shopping (at Famous Footwear that time), the first pair he tried on he also felt was too narrow, and that was a boy's pair. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Most of us are not saying a boy should not knowingly choose to buck the gender stereotypes. Only that it should be an informed choice. I was responding to the idea Ellie put forth that the only explaination needed is "that's not appropriate." I never kept my kid in the dark about gender norms. He just didn't give two licks about conforming and honestly that is one of his better qualities. Given that I have a 12 year old son with autism whose favorite color was pink until he was 8 or 9 I think I have some insight on the OP. BTDT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Just wondering though, are boys feet actually much wider? I don't mean big boys. I have small feet, but I find women's shoes to be too narrow. I try to look for wide shoes. It's actually such a problem that I have an issue with one of my toes. Women's shoes just squish my feet. I don't know if that is intentional or my feet are messed up. If I buy the wide size I take a smaller size too. I can only deal with the regular width if I go up a size. I think it varies a lot. My feet are wider than most people's feet, male or female but I am as tall as an average man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Kids sizes are based on men's, though, so it may not make a difference. I wear a lot of kids size 4 shoes because size 6 women's are often too narrow (I toe walk due to CP when I'm tired (multiple rounds of bracing and surgery to get to the point that I can be flat at all) and 43 years of toe walking leads to really wide, flat toes!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I think it is fantastic when people, especially young people, can say FU to the gender/fashion police, whether it's long haired boys with bling or women who don't shave or wear makeup. BUT I believe it should always be a genuine choice. The choice to not conform is of no value if somebody doesn't also have the choice TO conform. I would love my son to feel free to go out wearing whatever the heck he pleases. But only if he is making a genuine choice from a position of having the relevant information and understanding about what is socially expected. I would also be happy if he follows the fashion, but only as long as he does that because it's fun/convenient/whatever, not because he feels there is no choice. As SKL and a couple of other people said, any choice should be an informed choice. And if the choice is too complicated, difficult or risky for the child, don't give them a choice. For example, my girls have asked more than once why boys can be bare chested at the swimming pool and girls can't. I explained that it is a social more, there isn't actually any good principle behind it, and in fact females are allowed to be topless in certain cultures. But I don't tell them about the 'free the nipple' movement or give them the option of going topless outside of our home, because the level of potential social disapproval (and other consequences) would be more than they could handle. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I happen to like nice soft pink cotton oxford-cloth button-down shirts. And have been wondering lately what happened to my old Nantucket Red shorts? Pink shoes? Might be a stretch. Bill 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I happen to like nice soft pink cotton oxford-cloth button-down shirts. And have been wondering lately what happened to my old Nantucket Red shorts? Pink shoes? Might be a stretch. Bill But Bill, what if someone makes fun of you? Then what will happen? :willy_nilly: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Just wondering though, are boys feet actually much wider? I don't mean big boys. I have small feet, but I find women's shoes to be too narrow. I try to look for wide shoes. It's actually such a problem that I have an issue with one of my toes. Women's shoes just squish my feet. I don't know if that is intentional or my feet are messed up. If I buy the wide size I take a smaller size too. I can only deal with the regular width if I go up a size. In our house dd and I have the wide feet and the boys have the narrow feet. It makes shoe shopping hard. And the fitters don't pay attention to the width anymore. I took her to a shoe shop that markets itself on how careful they were about fitting shoes well. The fitter was only interested in how much length there was at the end of the toe. I could clearly see that her little toes were getting squished inward. So frustrating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 But Bill, what if someone makes fun of you? Then what will happen? :willy_nilly: Pity the fool :D Bill 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Just wondering though, are boys feet actually much wider? I don't mean big boys. I have small feet, but I find women's shoes to be too narrow. I try to look for wide shoes. It's actually such a problem that I have an issue with one of my toes. Women's shoes just squish my feet. I don't know if that is intentional or my feet are messed up. If I buy the wide size I take a smaller size too. I can only deal with the regular width if I go up a size.My boys' feet are wider than my girls' feet. Unfortunately as it means dd12 cannot hand her dance shoes down to ds10 (who had the impertinence to grow two shoe sizes in the past three months and is in need of new jig shoes). ETA there are certainly boys with narrow feet and girls with wide feet. I am guessing that boys' may be wider on average though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Just wondering though, are boys feet actually much wider? My son has narrow feet, but he's petite all over. He gets professionally fitted for his running shoes, but for other shoes (hiking, snow boots) he wears women's. It's a good deal for me now that we wear the same size. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 http://smile.amazon.com/Vans-Authentic-Unisex-Sneakers-Plimsolls/dp/B00Q8Q0ZL4/ref=pd_sbs_309_7?ie=UTF8&refRID=0EPCS2V9E3QFMWPAW65A http://smile.amazon.com/BOLALA-Cartoon-Little-Horses-Sneaker/dp/B00Y9HOGC8/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1434725250&sr=8-8&keywords=boy+shoe+little+boy+sparkle I'm seriously considering buying the MLP shoes for myself. But the stupid thing is the smallest men's size is too big, but costs only $20. The women's in the same pattern are $50. *sigh* I'm going to keep looking for them though. I think they are cute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 But Bill, what if someone makes fun of you? Then what will happen? :willy_nilly: Pretty sure Bill can handle it. :) An 8 year-old little boy? Well, that is generally harder. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Until very recently, ds always wore some "girl" clothes. I never explained that something was a "girl" thing or a "boy" thing. He did have pink shoes twice. But he's also NT and I assumed he could pick up on this stuff himself and make his decisions accordingly. We are in a community where it was pretty common for the little boys to have a few girl hand me downs or choose pink sometimes with no judgement so it was always easy to not worry about this stuff. I feel like explaining for a NT kid is usually unnecessary and may come off as siding with the gender fashion police or enforcing the idea of strong gender segregation in early childhood, assuming you don't actually care. But for a kid on the spectrum, my gut feeling is that it's being explicit about things they won't pick up on naturally. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Just wondering though, are boys feet actually much wider? I don't mean big boys. I have small feet, but I find women's shoes to be too narrow. I try to look for wide shoes. It's actually such a problem that I have an issue with one of my toes. Women's shoes just squish my feet. I don't know if that is intentional or my feet are messed up. If I buy the wide size I take a smaller size too. I can only deal with the regular width if I go up a size. I have wide feet. When I was younger, I used to buy boys' athletic shoes because girls' / ladies' shoes available in stores were too narrow. Now I order wide size online. I don't bother shopping in shoe stores at all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 As for my kids' feet, my two daughters (who are not biologically related) are exact opposites as usual. One has pretty big, wide feet (though, relatively, narrower than mine). The other has very narrow feet. Hand-me-downs haven't been a big issue, because the shoes that they use often are usually tied with shoelaces, so you can make them tighter or looser. Well-worn play shoes are usually discarded rather than handed down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I have wide feet. When I was younger, I used to buy boys' athletic shoes because girls' / ladies' shoes available in stores were too narrow. Now I order wide size online. I don't bother shopping in shoe stores at all. I don't think they make men's shoes small enough to fit my feet. Guess I could try the boy's department. Actually my 13 year old now wears the same size I do (he is still in boy's sizes and he is on the small side). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 http://smile.amazon.com/Vans-Authentic-Unisex-Sneakers-Plimsolls/dp/B00Q8Q0ZL4/ref=pd_sbs_309_7?ie=UTF8&refRID=0EPCS2V9E3QFMWPAW65A http://smile.amazon.com/BOLALA-Cartoon-Little-Horses-Sneaker/dp/B00Y9HOGC8/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1434725250&sr=8-8&keywords=boy+shoe+little+boy+sparkle This makes the opposite point than you intended, I think: one pair of muted purple sneakers that cost $50, one pair of black shoes with MLP emblem, in men's sizes only. This is on Amazon, where one can find everything. I searched "boy sparkly shoes" on Amazon, and neither of those came up on the first 4 pages of results. Indeed, ZERO pairs of sparkly boy shoes came up. Some snazzy men's leather shoes, some girl/women shoes, some random boy shoes that aren't a bit sparkly or bright. The same search with "girl" has plenty of relevant results on the first four pages. Searching "boy pink shoes" had more relevant results, and I noticed that Adidas labels its shoes little kid/big kid and not boy/girl. Any boys wanting encouragement or inspiration for their sparkly shoe choices should check out Nick Cannon's collection! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 This makes the opposite point than you intended, I think: one pair of muted purple sneakers that cost $50, one pair of black shoes with MLP emblem, in men's sizes only. This is on Amazon, where one can find everything. I didn't say there were tons of options out there, and I spent less than 1 minute looking on Amazon only. I don't have any sons so I do zero shopping for boys' shoes. If I had a son who really wanted sparkly shoes, I would spend the time to find something that would work. I am confident that there is a lot more out there. That said, the purple shoes were just one example of many colors in that particular style. I picked the purple because sparkly purple is usually viewed as girly. I have seen sparkly boys' sneakers before, but they didn't come up in my quick search. I don't know why, maybe they are not popular enough or maybe "sparkly" isn't the right key word for a boy shoe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 This makes the opposite point than you intended, I think: one pair of muted purple sneakers that cost $50, one pair of black shoes with MLP emblem, in men's sizes only. This is on Amazon, where one can find everything. I searched "boy sparkly shoes" on Amazon, and neither of those came up on the first 4 pages of results. Indeed, ZERO pairs of sparkly boy shoes came up. Some snazzy men's leather shoes, some girl/women shoes, some random boy shoes that aren't a bit sparkly or bright. The same search with "girl" has plenty of relevant results on the first four pages. Searching "boy pink shoes" had more relevant results, and I noticed that Adidas labels its shoes little kid/big kid and not boy/girl. Any boys wanting encouragement or inspiration for their sparkly shoe choices should check out Nick Cannon's collection! He's got some interesting shoes! I bet they cost a fortune. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Kids sizes are based on men's, though, so it may not make a difference. I wear a lot of kids size 4 shoes because size 6 women's are often too narrow I wear a lot of kid's size 6 shoes because they're cheaper than adult shoes. Plus, I could find narrow enough adult snow boots without laces, but the ones from the boy's section were narrow enough. They were $20 or $30. It's also easier to find velcro in kid's sizes. I know how to tie laces, but I'm just too lazy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I wear 9.5 in mens and can usually, but not, always wear 11 womens. I have the big feet and haven't worn kids sizes since I was about 9. Not a MLP fan but I wish I could buy $20 shoes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 I wear 9.5 in mens and can usually, but not, always wear 11 womens. I have the big feet and haven't worn kids sizes since I was about 9. Not a MLP fan but I wish I could buy $20 shoes! The $20 kid's shoes are usually lower quality though, so they don't last as long. But for the snowboots we didn't know how long we were going to stay in WNY, so I didn't want to spend good money on them. Still looking to leave as soon as we can get a good offer from another location, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 And "it's not appropriate" is not an answer that will fly with my spectrum kid at all. "Why? What's your proof? Who defines "appropriate" anyways?" And don't even try to say "just because". "That's not a real answer! What's the evidence? Who decides? Just because I'm a boy I can't have a pink rain coat? That's ridiculous! This is tyrannical!" P And yeah, he sounded like that at age 6. i don't think I would offer "not appropriate" unless I was pretty desperate, so it would have to be something pretty socially gross. I think what I would try and say is something like: " Humans like to communicate things to each other, and clothing can tell us things about a person - for example someone wearing welding gloves might be a welder or work in some other job that requires protection. e can also purposefully say things with clothes - sometimes we have people wear uniforms just to tell everyone what their job is, or to avoid the job being associated with a particular person's personal life. people can also do this in their personal life - someone might try and dress to show how rich he is, or wear a shirt with a cartoon character he admired, or all kinds of things. Throughout history, some really common clothing differences have to communicate sex or marital status. Now, the things people decide on to communicate these ideas may not really make sense - sometimes they do, or they are related to something in the culture, but often they are just historical accidents. They also change over time. No one person gets to decide on what means what. It is a bit like letters - the shape of the letter A doesn't really have anything to do with the sound, the important thing though is that people mostly have to agree on using it, or it won't work for writing things other people will understand." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 For the boys that decide to wear pink and need a retort you could tell them that pink used to be the boy color and light blue the girl color. That is because red was the men's color because it signified strength, vibrancy, passion, war etc. Blue was the woman's color because it signified fidelity, peace, etc. Lighter versions were for the kids. So light red, aka pink for boys and light blue for girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 That's a tough one. Younger and I wouldn't be concerned. But he is getting to an age where other kids and even other parents may treat him differently or even badly if he is too far outside the norm. Letting him know ahead of time might be a good idea. Does he get outside with other kids a lot? We had a sort of similar issue with my son. He potty trained by using a doll that he was "training" as I was training him. He became very attached and wanted to practice being a good father. He carried that doll a lot of places. In 4k he took the doll to school for show and tell. No one said anything and it was fine. He was learning how to be a nurturing parent and I thought it was great. However, when he was maybe 6 or 7 DD had several friends over. Some had younger brothers and sisters so the younger kids came to hang out with DS. They found DS's doll. He proudly showed them where the doll slept and the stroller, etc. I don't know what the kids did, or what they said to him because I was putting snacks out but when I came back over the doll had been stripped naked and strung up. The kids were all making fun of the doll. DS was devastated and very upset. He was also very confused as to why they would do such a thing. It really negatively impacted him for a bit. I felt I had failed him by not warning him that some people do not understand boys playing with dolls. What did you do? I try to put myself in your shoes. My gut reaction would be backhand the little monsters. But, I wouldn't. Don't all kid's read William's Doll? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 Don't all kid's read William's Doll? Never heard of it, so I'd have to say 'no'. Not being a native English speaker might have an impact though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Don't all kid's read William's Doll? Never even heard of it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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