prairiewindmomma Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 53 minutes ago, Another Lynn said: Slache, you need to think about you and your immediate family first - whether it's Christmas, In-law visits, or elder care. Wanting to talk to SIL about it is just leaving yourself vulnerable to doing things you shouldn't get sucked into doing. You don't have the health, the bandwidth, or the resources. Having compassion doesn't automatically make you capable or super human. If I asked you to drive, what would you say? You would say no way because you know you can't do it. It is the same. I don't know anything about long-term care insurance - does anyone know if that's a good idea in situations where there may not be enough assets to use for care or too many assets to qualify for assistance? Are policies expensive? LTC insurance is incredibly expensive. I have family that is using a LTC insurance policy right now to care for dementia care. The specialized care facility runs just under $9000/month. Their LTC policy only pays out $150/day. Most basic nursing homes in the area charge about $260/day. The problem is fairly obvious---there's still a huge amount due for her care even after the LTC insurance policy pays out. It didn't even occur to them when they bought the policy in the late 80s that a cap at $150/day would be a problem. Most homes then were running $90/day or so. Honestly, if you're more than 5 years out from needing care, and there aren't enough assets to warrant doing alternate things to protect the estate for future heirs....it would be to have a brief consult with a financial analyst specializing in these areas to talk about whether you should try make different decisions to preserve assets in anticipation of a spend down. Even if you're within the 5 year look back period, things can be rearranged. As a really weird example, my friend's family tweaked their non-countable assets. Because you are allowed to preserve the marital home, one car, and basic household goods......my friend's family traded in their basic Buick for a very expensive classic sports car that was likely to hold value in the few years remaining of the spouse's life. The vehicle could then be sold and some cash was preserved. Likewise, a newer fancier home was purchased (under the $543k limit). Because every financial picture is different and because state exemption rules vary, I recommend working with a professional....but there are ways to preserve assets in anticipation of a medicaid spend down. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 End of summer Edpo panic... This weekend I: *got Economics planned out *ordered Chemistry lab supplies and sketched out the first six weeks This week I need to plan out: *English III *Pre-Calc (pacing, problem numbers into book, etc.) I need to read: *1/3 of the chemistry book as a reminder *2 of the literature selections *1/3 of HoRW I'm running out of time to get everything done. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egao_gakari Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 3 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: End of summer Edpo panic... This weekend I: *got Economics planned out *ordered Chemistry lab supplies and sketched out the first six weeks This week I need to plan out: *English III *Pre-Calc (pacing, problem numbers into book, etc.) I need to read: *1/3 of the chemistry book as a reminder *2 of the literature selections *1/3 of HoRW I'm running out of time to get everything done. Prairiewindmomma, I resemble this remark. A week ago I saw a post from someone referring to it as the "end of summer" and I was like, "What? It's July, that's the middle of summer!" and then today I was like, "Oh... each month has only 4 weeks in it... that means I'm about 5 weeks out from starting a new *&@%$!# school year." I need to: -skim all assigned reading books, make up word study lists for each, make Context worksheet template -order books... with money... that we don't have... -get to know Physics for the Logic Stage, GWTM, Argument Builder, Reading Like a Historian -script approx. 1,000,000 BFSU lessons -purchase reams of paper to begin printing out all the PDFs -see if Grandma has a spare typewriter for dysgraphic DS to type his worksheet responses 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said: Slache--my experiences from family who have similar operating procedures is that any time they can get a rise out of you (by disagreeing with you, telling you you're wrong, or attempting to control your behavior), they are "winning" in their minds. They may not even be conscious of it, but it feeds future bad behavior from them. Frankly, it's irrelevant to talk about Christmas right now, because a decision about Christmas now and all future Christmases doesn't need to be made. A few other points: 1. You've had a seizure in the last three months. This automatically would preclude you from having a driver's license in most states....Oregon & Texas included. 2. Caring for family can mean putting them in a nursing home somewhat near you (or even far away) and visiting at an interval that you choose. 3. Christmas is lovely in San Antonio. You may want to visit in the summer instead. All of which I post to remind you that you have good reasons for the decisions you've made in the past about what you choose to do or not do. Don't get drawn into her world of crazy! As the matriarch of the family she feels like she gets to make all decisions until she dies. To this day she will tell us that we are not allowed to do things and then threaten to punish us if we do them. She told me that if I homeschool the kids she will lie to the state to have the kids taken away so she can raise them and ensure they have a proper education. Her mom ran the family until she died and she wants to do the same. Right now she is laying the ground rules saying we are only allowed to move to Texas if... Matt is handling the situation well. 1. I didn't know this. 2. Yes. 3. We have the intention of sending Matt and the kids up for a week to the camper every summer so I can get stuff done around the house and several other plans. I am considering offering to host Christmas in SA for several reasons. We are not verbalizing that right now. Thank you for the reminder. 46 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: LTC insurance is incredibly expensive. I have family that is using a LTC insurance policy right now to care for dementia care. The specialized care facility runs just under $9000/month. Their LTC policy only pays out $150/day. Most basic nursing homes in the area charge about $260/day. The problem is fairly obvious---there's still a huge amount due for her care even after the LTC insurance policy pays out. It didn't even occur to them when they bought the policy in the late 80s that a cap at $150/day would be a problem. Most homes then were running $90/day or so. Honestly, if you're more than 5 years out from needing care, and there aren't enough assets to warrant doing alternate things to protect the estate for future heirs....it would be to have a brief consult with a financial analyst specializing in these areas to talk about whether you should try make different decisions to preserve assets in anticipation of a spend down. Even if you're within the 5 year look back period, things can be rearranged. As a really weird example, my friend's family tweaked their non-countable assets. Because you are allowed to preserve the marital home, one car, and basic household goods......my friend's family traded in their basic Buick for a very expensive classic sports car that was likely to hold value in the few years remaining of the spouse's life. The vehicle could then be sold and some cash was preserved. Likewise, a newer fancier home was purchased (under the $543k limit). Because every financial picture is different and because state exemption rules vary, I recommend working with a professional....but there are ways to preserve assets in anticipation of a medicaid spend down. Svengo. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 I’m back. It was an interesting morning. Not bad interesting. Just kinda different. A very small and kinda dysfunctional church situation in a very high poverty section of town. But the kids were well behaved. Most of the time the volunteers from my church just kind of stood around, but we asked how our presence could be best utilized and hopefully tomorrow will be better. We just didn’t want to take over or step on toes or anything, so we all kind of hung back, but as the morning wore on we kind of figure Out where we would fit in. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 I survived. Still feel tired. But I no longer sound like a frog with laryngitis. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 5 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said: I had a "couldn't breathe or swallow" incident in my car on the way to picking up dd. I haven't had one of those in a long time. I'm ok now. They say the haze is from the Carr fire and should be reduced tomorrow due to different wondering conditions. I sure hope so. My sixth grader is allergic to smoke. We can't go out in smoke like this. Maybe we'll go to the mall. I don't know if your issue is related but for her, air quality creates bizarre symptoms. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Getting gobs done today. The not breathing/ not swallowing thing is a laryngeal spasm - the muscles in there seize up. I stopped having them when I went Celiac level gf. I had gf oats this morning. I wonder if they were really gf? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Contamination seems like a huge risk with something like oats that may be processed in huge facilities. I am sorry. ? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 If you used BRM products.....Bob's Red Mill has a gluten free facility and they batch test for gluten coming into the factory from the farm and again after packaging. I'm not saying you couldn't have been possibly contaminated from the oats, but do you react to other gluten free grains? You could get contaminated from that as they only do a high pressure air blow followed by discarding the first 30 lb of product. Fun things I learned from dealing with dd's nut allergy.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 I'm here. Got some Latin done. I don't want to cook dinner. I don't want to do anything. I hate summer. The sky is brown. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 I got a package. CLE Math and Language Arts and Reading! That is all. I still don't want to do anything. I still hate summer. The sky is still brown!!!! Bleh! 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 2 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said: Getting gobs done today. The not breathing/ not swallowing thing is a laryngeal spasm - the muscles in there seize up. I stopped having them when I went Celiac level gf. I had gf oats this morning. I wonder if they were really gf? The more I read, the worse oats look. :/ Recently I saw an article about the difference between oats that were possibly contaminated and then mechanically/optically decontaminated to a passable (on average) level and packaged as gf (like those in Cheerios products, which are not marked gf in Canada after some pressure up there) and on the other hand, "purity protocol" oats that were tracked from a wheat-free farm--which I would have to mail-order from Montana. I'm considering changing what I tell other people they can give DS (right now: "any plain fruit or vegetable or any packaged food marked gf") because that would eliminate a lot of granola bar-type options. Keep in mind that you must continue breathing. Rules are rules. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 11 hours ago, Paige said: I can't remember if I told y'all (because tired) but I have to make Baby an appointment with an allergist for testing. Anyone done that with an infant? DD had the scratch test when she was 4 but I can't imagine trying that with a baby. I've been putting it off because it sounds like needles one way or the other. I think DS was under 2, but I’m not sure exact age. They took a lot of blood. He nursed a lot that day. Then again, he nursed a lot every day. ? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said: If you used BRM products.....Bob's Red Mill has a gluten free facility and they batch test for gluten coming into the factory from the farm and again after packaging. I'm not saying you couldn't have been possibly contaminated from the oats, but do you react to other gluten free grains? You could get contaminated from that as they only do a high pressure air blow followed by discarding the first 30 lb of product. Fun things I learned from dealing with dd's nut allergy.... What does gluten have to do with nut allergy? I’m confused. What do I need to know that I don’t? Gah! I’m gonna kill my kid? Gah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 (edited) Test http://static.slickdealscdn.com/images/smilies2/turtle.gif Edited July 31, 2018 by Slache 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 (edited) Booya! Edited July 31, 2018 by Slache 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 My ^dd^ had allergy testing done as an infant—prick test + labs. It’s not bad at all, except the distracting from itching part. After watching what my preemie dd went through (iv in her scalp, intubation, ng tube, etc.), babies are remarkably hardy and adaptable creatures. They can go through a lot with no lasting trauma. Re nuts and gluten: many gluten free facilities also process nuts as nuts are also inherently GF. With the popularity of almond flour and coconut flour, we have had to call and ask questions about protocols. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 (edited) Cute or obnoxious? Eta: In my siggy. Edited July 31, 2018 by Slache 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 11 minutes ago, Slache said: Cute or obnoxious? Not working. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 8 minutes ago, Junie said: Not working. In my signature? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 9 minutes ago, Slache said: In my signature? Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 50, 714. Thank you, thank you very much. 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 I am running an edit on Cp 8 and then I will go to bed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 10 minutes ago, Junie said: Nope. What do you see? Just a link? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 GO CRITTER! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 13 minutes ago, Slache said: What do you see? Just a link? There's a small square icon followed by the words turtle.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 1 hour ago, Slache said: Cute or obnoxious? Eta: In my siggy. Cute. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 MIL has sent a series of benign, off topic text messages indicating that she's not mad anymore. Tomorrow I will send cute kid pics and all will be well again, as per usual. She's just so much fun. 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 (edited) I am wide awake again. I guess this is my new thing. I need a different thing. Edited July 31, 2018 by Slache 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Day 193 steps. Day 64 hips 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Go to bed Baby! I think I'm going to give up and have the first coffee. ☕ 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Slache - cute! (((Paige))) Get a nap later! (((Krissi))) Yay for package! Boo for summer and dinner and brown skies! COFFEE!!! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 9 hours ago, Slache said: Cute or obnoxious? Eta: In my siggy. Both. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Good Morning. Happy Monday. Oh wait. Let's try this again. Happy Tuesday! #early 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Good morning! I am exhausted. Happy payday! The bills are long but the checks are short. 49 minutes ago, Junie said: Both. ? Accurate! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 8am and Baby is asleep! Hmm...sleep or be an awake parent for other kids? It was so much easier when I had an only child. I bet my teens won’t wake for hours anyway since it’s still early, so sleep! It must be nice to be a teen during summer and sleep 12+ hours! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 4 minutes ago, Paige said: 8am and Baby is asleep! Hmm...sleep or be an awake parent for other kids? It was so much easier when I had an only child. I bet my teens won’t wake for hours anyway since it’s still early, so sleep! It must be nice to be a teen during summer and sleep 12+ hours! I must be a mean mom. I get my kids up at 8:30. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Good morning! Today is my last day of ITTing on my phone! (((All Y’all again))) Coffee! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 2 minutes ago, Junie said: I must be a mean mom. I get my kids up at 8:30. My kids are up between 6:30 and 7 all year. Except when we’re at Grandma’s. Mwaaa ha haaaaa! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Still tired. 18 minutes ago, Junie said: I must be a mean mom. I get my kids up at 8:30. My kids are mean. They get me up at 7. 17 minutes ago, Susan in TN said: Today is my last day of ITTing on my phone! Why? Going home? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egao_gakari Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 ? sleeeeeepy. Still couch-sleeping bc poor DH just can't sleep from rib pain and his wakefulness keeps me up. Had a chat with DH last night where he commented that he'd love to see me playing with the kids more, as opposed to educating, delegating tasks, and generally being Boss Mom. Sigh. Guilty as charged. I am not the world's most playful person to be honest... I was a bit isolated as a child and the things that kids do for fun just really aren't fun for me. But I know this is an area where my stepmothering game needs serious improvement. I don't want DS and DD to grow up with zero memories of having fun with me. So today I'm gonna try to come up with one thing to invite each kid to do together. Things they would want to do rather than what I'd choose. I think I can, I think I can. 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Harry Potter’s Birthday! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama25angels Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Good morning all! Taking dd to have her wisdom teeth removed and then maybe getting to bank and grocery store, y'all have a good day! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Good Morning!!!! COFFEE!!!!~D Tuesday!!! We’re Doing VBS again today. I volunteered to teach the memory verse so last night the girls and I went to the Dollar Tree and got stuff for a prize box. Hot and smoky again today. I’m not sure how much of the fires have made national news, but the Carr Fire, way up in Northern California is really really bad. We aren’t getting that smoke, our smoke is from the fire by Yosemite and the one in Sequoia, but the Carr Fire is just a monster and it’s actually in a city, as opposed to the mountains, where some of the other fires are. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 13 minutes ago, egao_gakari said: ? sleeeeeepy. Still couch-sleeping bc poor DH just can't sleep from rib pain and his wakefulness keeps me up. Had a chat with DH last night where he commented that he'd love to see me playing with the kids more, as opposed to educating, delegating tasks, and generally being Boss Mom. Sigh. Guilty as charged. I am not the world's most playful person to be honest... I was a bit isolated as a child and the things that kids do for fun just really aren't fun for me. But I know this is an area where my stepmothering game needs serious improvement. I don't want DS and DD to grow up with zero memories of having fun with me. So today I'm gonna try to come up with one thing to invite each kid to do together. Things they would want to do rather than what I'd choose. I think I can, I think I can. Don’t feel bad, EG. I don’t play with my kids. I hate games. But I do try to interact, which I think is good enough. Teaching them to cook or helping them do something, or just plain talking periodically throughout the day.... I get so tired of the word “fun”. Maybe it would be easier if you just focus on “building relationships”, whatever that may look like. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 21 minutes ago, egao_gakari said: ? sleeeeeepy. Still couch-sleeping bc poor DH just can't sleep from rib pain and his wakefulness keeps me up. Had a chat with DH last night where he commented that he'd love to see me playing with the kids more, as opposed to educating, delegating tasks, and generally being Boss Mom. Sigh. Guilty as charged. I am not the world's most playful person to be honest... I was a bit isolated as a child and the things that kids do for fun just really aren't fun for me. But I know this is an area where my stepmothering game needs serious improvement. I don't want DS and DD to grow up with zero memories of having fun with me. So today I'm gonna try to come up with one thing to invite each kid to do together. Things they would want to do rather than what I'd choose. I think I can, I think I can. TBH, I didn't play with my children, either. I nursed them, co-slept with them, hugged them freely with abandon, read aloud to them (but not at bedtime, because it's time to GO TO BED), gladly homeschooled them, was a Camp Fire leader for them, was a dancer mom for them, did weekly field trips...but I did not *play* with them. :-) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egao_gakari Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 8 minutes ago, KrissiK said: Don’t feel bad, EG. I don’t play with my kids. I hate games. But I do try to interact, which I think is good enough. Teaching them to cook or helping them do something, or just plain talking periodically throughout the day.... I get so tired of the word “fun”. Maybe it would be easier if you just focus on “building relationships”, whatever that may look like. 2 minutes ago, Ellie said: TBH, I didn't play with my children, either. I nursed them, co-slept with them, hugged them freely with abandon, read aloud to them (but not at bedtime, because it's time to GO TO BED), gladly homeschooled them, was a Camp Fire leader for them, was a dancer mom for them, did weekly field trips...but I did not *play* with them. ? Maybe it's a moms versus dads thing. DH's ex left the family shortly after DD11 was born, and then he had nearly a decade of single-fathering before he and I got married, so he never really had an opportunity to witness "mothering" that wasn't totally toxic. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 25 minutes ago, egao_gakari said: Maybe it's a moms versus dads thing. DH's ex left the family shortly after DD11 was born, and then he had nearly a decade of single-fathering before he and I got married, so he never really had an opportunity to witness "mothering" that wasn't totally toxic. (((egao and family))) I'm not a "playing" mom either. Nor am I good at teaching them to cook. Nor most other things that look like relationship building. Dh is better at that stuff than I am. I played with oldest when he was little and there wasn't much else to do. We built with blocks and set up army men and had battles. I didn't do that with anyone else because there was never time or energy and by then there were other kids in the family they could play with. Anyway, what I'm taking a long time to say is that, I just have to be the Mom I am, for better or for worse. Yes, I can work on some of my short comings. Yes, I can realize mistakes I've made and try to change or correct them. But I have to be me. And I'm okay with that. And I think they are too. ❤️ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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