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Good Monday Morning!  COFFEE!!  4 kids (all except my oldest) go to writing camp (day camp)  this week.  YAY!  Did I already tell you guys this?  I'm hoping to get something done this week.

Top of the to-do list:  litter box, checkbook and bills, clean out fridge.  <insert green emo>

(((Mr. Egao)))  Glad he got checked!

(((Critter)))  Definitely take the day off, rest, and take care of you!

Slache - go seep!

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Good morning. I'm trying chai again today. I've also made the decision not to keep pushing the half-day school stuff through August. I really, really need a break before getting back to full-time school in September. They're where I want them to be in every subject except science for DD, grammar for DS, and Latin for both. I think I can get them caught up more effectively if I give myself a proper vacation ? 

DH's depression has resurfaced. I'm pretty sure it's mostly situational. He was telling me yesterday that by his count, he has been able-bodied and not in physical pain for a total of 6 of the last 30 months. I think that's accurate. He's had an awful, awful run of luck the past several years. First a broken ankle, then 4 months after he was fully recovered from that, sudden severe back pain led to them eventually finding a congenital spinal defect that needed major surgery to correct, then a full year of recovery from that, and now this happens literally 2 months after he felt better enough to go back to work. What makes it worse is that in his younger days he was a very reckless person, so now every time he gets injured, people who've known him a while are very judgmental and unsympathetic and tend to assume he must have brought it on himself somehow.

Sorry for the sadpo! My run last night was really helpful in buoying up my mood, so I'm not feeling so bad. Just sad and sorry for DH who's going through all of it ? 

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(((Egao's Dh)))

critter, definitely rest

Good Monday morning y'all!  Today is a glorious day, what makes it glorious you ask?  My boy took his first long road trip, sans Mom, all by himself.  He made it!!  I hope he learned the value of planning and doing things mom's way because it really is the right way, lol!  Please note that I'm mostly just kidding, I'm just so happy he's ok.  He's going to an Army school.

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Good Morning!!!!!

COFFEE!!!~D

Monday!!!!???? (Sorry, Ellie!! I know you like Mondays!)

Hot!!!?????????????. Although now the foreseeable future shows some temps in the 90’s.

We’re doing a service project today, our family is. Yesterday at church we found out that a small sister church of ours in a neighboring town is doing VBS this week and has a huge staffing need. So, they had a call-out for volunteers. So, we’re going to do that.

EG, so sorry for your DH. Will be Praying!!

Yay for taking the garbage out, Tsuga.

Susan, don’t drive on treacherous roads.

Yay for doing things in an empty house, Lynn!!

Happy Monday, Ellie!!

Yay for kids and independence, Mama25angels!

Critter, you rest up, girl!! We need you feeling tip-top!!

Yay for steps, Jeannie!!

Edited by KrissiK
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So, so, so tired. Baby was up until I can't remember when but at least 3:30-4 and then up again at 7:30. He is a crabby baby today too but won't sleep yet, and he doesn't want to eat anymore. Thank you 4 teeth from hell. The pediatrician swears they are all about to pop in but I can't see them yet. 

I will tackle my closet floor and shelves today. You'd think that would be easy since I did the clothes, but the floor and shelves are piled high with not clothes. 

DS comes back tomorrow! One more night! 

DD(10)'s birthday is quickly approaching. What do 11yr olds want that has nothing to do with youtube, fashion, or trying to be mature- all things she aspires to make her new hobbies? I want to take her camping but the cushy camping place looks booked up and I don't do pee in the trees. 

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I can't remember if I told y'all (because tired) but I have to make Baby an appointment with an allergist for testing. Anyone done that with an infant? DD had the scratch test when she was 4 but I can't imagine trying that with a baby. I've been putting it off because it sounds like needles one way or the other. 

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21 minutes ago, Paige said:

I can't remember if I told y'all (because tired) but I have to make Baby an appointment with an allergist for testing. Anyone done that with an infant? DD had the scratch test when she was 4 but I can't imagine trying that with a baby. I've been putting it off because it sounds like needles one way or the other. 

Paige, they'll probably do a blood test for baby, anything else would be cruel.

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All of these elderly care threads have me really wanting to figure things out. I asked SIL if she had ever thought about it and she said we have to take her parents because her fiance is taking his parents. I told her I was an only child and we have no other options for my father and she said we'll talk about it when the time comes, we have plenty of time. I said we should figure it out soon because we might not have plenty of time and she doesn't want to. I just wanted to get the bug out there so we can talk about it in person but she seems pretty adamant that we're taking care of her parents. We decided six months into our marriage that MIL was not moving in with us. I don't know why she thinks we're going to now.

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1 minute ago, myblessings4 said:

 

You can "take care of them" without having them in your home.  And you're young.  Things will change.  We had planned to take in my parents and dh parents.  3 of the 4 passed away before it became an issue.  The 4th wouldn't live with us with kids in the house if we even tried to force the issue, and is in a care facility near the 2 dsil.   We had big plans because we wanted none of them in a facility.  God took care of the details.

If my MIL died today FIL needs to go somewhere today. I feel a responsibility to figure out where. I will not take care of two so if we take him in my father has nothing. I want plans in place.

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Regarding elder care:

My own health is not good enough to take care of someone else who is medically fragile.

My dmil passed away many years ago.  I would be willing for dfil to live with us, but he won't.  He has a lot of family support where he lives now.

My father and step mother also passed away many years ago.

My step-father is in poor health.  I would not be able to take care of him

My mother is in ok health but I know that with our personalities it would not be a good idea for my mom to live with me.  My sister also knows that and (hopefully) would be willing to take her in if need be.  (My sister is much more tolerant of her than I am; also, she has no children to take care of.)

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Friend has started having contractions, too far apart for hospital, 3 kids under 5 at home, hubby at work and won't come home unless it's time for the hospital. DS and I are off to help out, leaving DD resting at home with a minor tummy ache.

Slache, I totally agree... it's stressful to think about caring for my mom. I know she doesn't have enough saved to take care of her once she stops working, and I'd really love to have something specific hammered out. Big bro does NOT want to think about it right now though.

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Dh and I have discussed taking care of our parents, but it seems that dh’s brother has planned to have my in-laws move in with them in Indianapolis if and when we can get them to move - hopefully next summer. They will likely need full-time nursing before too long. 

My parents are both doing very well, but I expect that if they need to move in with someone, they will want to live with my sister and her family. 

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24 minutes ago, myblessings4 said:

Why not two?  It's like having twins. 

Because of my health. I have ups and downs but I definitely have downs! And parents are not babies. My in-laws lie, steal, break things because they're angry with me, use my children for manipulation... I would rather have septuplets then one of them!

19 minutes ago, Junie said:

Regarding elder care:

My own health is not good enough to take care of someone else who is medically fragile.

Yep yep!

18 minutes ago, Junie said:

Slache -- My dh is an only child, but my dfil has siblings who look out for him.

Does your dfil have siblings who might be able to help take care of him if the time comes that he needs someone else?

Nope.

Edited by Slache
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Dd7 had a meltdown just before lunch.

"I forgot to eat breakfast.  Waah!"

I told her she could add a granola bar to her lunch and have breakfast and lunch at the same time.

She smiled and thought it was a good idea.

No wonder there was so much drama this morning between her and dd10...

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1 hour ago, Slache said:

MIL is demanding we come every Christmas and she gets to come whenever she wants. So much fun.

No. Not unless she lives in the same town, because you get to open presents in your own home first, then hang around for awhile and eat junky special Christmas breakfast food things, and *then* go to Grandma's house in the late afternoon.

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2 hours ago, Susan in TN said:

Krissi, I’m praying that arctic blast rolls in soon for you!

Lynn, you enjoying your fortress of solitude yet?

It is the most awesome thing that has happened to me in a while.  My house is SO quiet.  It's beautiful.  I could be empty nest now and I think it would be some length of time before I would be sorry.  ?

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Slache, you need to think about you and your immediate family first - whether it's Christmas, In-law visits, or elder care.  Wanting to talk to SIL about it is just leaving yourself vulnerable to doing things you shouldn't get sucked into doing.  You don't have the health, the bandwidth, or the resources.  Having compassion doesn't automatically make you capable or super human.  If I asked you to drive, what would you say?  You would say no way because you know you can't do it.  It is the same.    

I don't know anything about long-term care insurance - does anyone know if that's a good idea in situations where there may not be enough assets to use for care or too many assets to qualify for assistance?  Are policies expensive?  

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1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I had a "couldn't breathe or swallow" incident in my car on the way to picking up dd.  I haven't had one of those in a long time.  I'm ok now. 

(((Jean)))

46 minutes ago, Ellie said:

No. Not unless she lives in the same town, because you get to open presents in your own home first, then hang around for awhile and eat junky special Christmas breakfast food things, and *then* go to Grandma's house in the late afternoon.

Yes.

39 minutes ago, Another Lynn said:

Slache, you need to think about you and your immediate family first - whether it's Christmas, In-law visits, or elder care.  Wanting to talk to SIL about it is just leaving yourself vulnerable to doing things you shouldn't get sucked into doing.  You don't have the health, the bandwidth, or the resources.  Having compassion doesn't automatically make you capable or super human.  If I asked you to drive, what would you say?  You would say no way because you know you can't do it.  It is the same.    

But she wants me to drive!

Yes though. Yes, yes, yes.

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Slache--my experiences from family who have similar operating procedures is that any time they can get a rise out of you (by disagreeing with you, telling you you're wrong, or attempting to control your behavior), they are "winning" in their minds. They may not even be conscious of it, but it feeds future bad behavior from them.  Frankly, it's irrelevant to talk about Christmas right now, because a decision about Christmas now and all future Christmases doesn't need to be made.

A few other points:

1. You've had a seizure in the last three months. This automatically would preclude you from having a driver's license in most states....Oregon & Texas included.

2. Caring for family can mean putting them in a nursing home somewhat near you (or even far away) and visiting at an interval that you choose.  

3. Christmas is lovely in San Antonio.  You may want to visit in the summer instead.

All of which I post to remind you that you have good reasons for the decisions you've made in the past about what you choose to do or not do.  Don't get drawn into her world of crazy!

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