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About egao_gakari

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    Hive Mind Level 5 Worker: Forager Bee

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  1. Yeah, this has been a thing both DH and I have prodded him about, but so far there's been nothing "careerish" that has sparked his passion. He basically describes wanting a job that will provide him with financial stability and won't be grueling. DH isn't super concerned about this yet, as he discovered his passion through a lucky happenstance of taking a job out of necessity and finding that he loved the work. But we've had numerous conversations about how somehow neither of our kids has a hobby that they truly love. When I was a kid it was music and school, for DH it was music and hunting and definitely not school. DD at least is extroverted and passionate about spending time with friends, and she's expressed interest in starting sports in the spring. But DS gets single-mindedly obsessed with one thing at a time--cars, then superheroes, then collectibles (Funko Pops mainly), then video games--and any time I've attempted to relate his current obsession to our academics, the passion fades. One recent bright spot has been that he loves, loves, loves his online Biology class. His grades were poor in that one too, but he figured out what he was doing wrong and in 5 weeks has raised his grade in that class from a 40 😑 to a 70 and has gotten 100's on everything recent. It's the first time he's ever expressed liking something academic, and he's commented that if the teacher is available, he'd like to do a class with her next year too. We've always thought he was science-oriented, and I'm totally fine with that--I just want him to be a good enough writer that if he wants to go to college for a science subject, he can get into the program he wants. I had a long, tearful talk with him yesterday where I did my best to make that clear, and that seemed to open his eyes about it and he has submitted 3 missing assignments in the last 24 hours. 🙂
  2. Thanks, everybody. You're all absolutely right, I need to be at his side with this stuff right now. It's hard because it's not just that I hate it, he hates it too. But he needs to know how to write. Lori, I love your idea about using the SAT prompts and both of us writing responses and critiquing each other's work. I'm definitely going to implement that one!! He's never had educational testing, although I think he should have when he was in PS. He was in a charter (he's my stepkid--I wasn't in the picture at the time) and his brightness really threw them off. There was always this "His handwriting sure is poor" comment at the parent-teacher meetings, but nobody ever brought up OT. My husband was full-time single-parenting at the time and had no idea that this could be an actual disability and not just DS being sloppy. At the very least, he has dysgraphia--I only realized how much help he needed in the area of writing when I began having him type. Before then, he had to read his compositions aloud to me because I couldn't read them, and I now think he was editing on the fly, saying what he had intended to write rather than what had actually been put on the paper. Awful financial difficulties have made testing impossible for us the past few years, but now that things are more stable in that realm I will definitely be looking into it.
  3. Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll give it a read. I tried this approach (bolded) for a year. The problem is that he finds nothing interesting in his studies. There are subjects he's willing to put up with and do the work, and subjects he's not. I'd ask him questions that intrigue me about each subject, thinking we could investigate together. The response is a shrug and "I don't know." What interests him are video games. (And girls, as of very recently.) Last year, when we were trying the "write about what interests you" approach, he wrote one essay analyzing blast patterns from grenade throws in a certain video game. He did come out with something written, but it literally took him 3 months. When we sat down and talked through the initial plan, we estimated that it would take about 1 week for data collection, one week for a rough draft, and one week for a final draft. That is about what it took in the end--but there was an immense lacuna of time between each step. This is a kid who simply won't do the work when he doesn't feel like it. Nothing I have tried has worked. Standing over his shoulder watching him type just results in me writing it for him.
  4. This is like a... semi-JAWM? If you've successfully overcome this problem with your kid, I'd be interested in hearing how you did it. But right now I'm just feeling emotional/insecure about myself and my methods, and I mostly need hugs. 4th year homeschooling. Brought DS now-14 home in the middle of 6th grade. He really, really hated school, to the point of suicidal ideation. We started homeschooling and put him in therapy. He hasn't had such deep depression since then, and has generally enjoyed homeschool. But there's one thing that he's always given me the runaround with, and that's writing. He's a bright, bright kid with deep thoughts, and I've always wanted to foster that. I was a bright kid with deep thoughts, and when I learned to express them in writing, it gave me a sense of true accomplishment and self-worth. But this kid hates, hates, hates writing. We tried Killgallon. He hated it. I wanted something with more structure and guidance, so we tried WWS. It was like pulling teeth and took us 2 years to get through. Not because he was working hard but taking a long time to complete each assignment... but because he simply wasn't doing the work. If I tried to help him with it, it turned into me basically writing the thing for him. He simply wouldn't do it. ::brick_wall:: This year, I signed him up for an online course, figuring the outside imposition of deadlines would help. Again, I was thinking back on myself at his age. I'm extrinsically motivated, and deadlines helped me stay focused and make plans for how to get the work done. Well... I'm sure some of you can guess... 1st quarter grade reports come out, he has a 28. Out of 100. He has barely submitted any of the assignments. He explained that he'd been feeling depressed, and that the class was boring and the work was boring. The thing is, he had been actively deceiving us the whole time, claiming that he was averaging about 75 or 80. (Lower than I'd have liked, but not low enough for us to be deeply concerned.) Asked about this, the response was, "Well those are the grades I got on the stuff I submitted." In the month since then, we've been having frequent talks about his emotional state, trying to get him back in with his therapist (booked solid weeks out). DH and I agreed that taking him out of the class wasn't the right choice, for a number of good reasons. I've been on his back trying to push him to get things done, checking the course website about once a week to make sure he's keeping up, and giving him a specific task each day to work on catching up. Today I checked again. 2 things that he claimed to have been working on all last week and claimed to have submitted... not submitted. I've got DH involved now and we're taking away his phone and video game privileges, but I'm worried this won't really solve the problem. How have we raised a deceitful kid? We've never gotten angry at him for being honest with us. We've always been open and honest with the kids about our own failures, trying to lead by example. I feel at my wits' end. Please don't judge me too harshly; I'm already hardcore judging myself for not being able to "figure out what strength is hiding in this weakness and bring it out."
  5. Aw man, poor kid 😞 The professor should have posted office hours, or if it's a bigger lecture-style class, the professor probably has a TA who did the grading and has office hours. The tutor may be helpful as well, but probably since she doesn't have the test to show the tutor, it makes more sense to consult the prof or TA.
  6. Thank you both! I was pretty sure the book was mistaken, but I was also insecure about it 😄
  7. OK, picky question here. I never learned diagramming as a kid, so I've been "learning along" with my kids through FLL and now GWTM. I was under the impression that any question sentence needs to be rephrased as a statement and then diagrammed. So "What is this?" should be re-worded as "This is what," with "this" in the subject space and "what" in the predicate nominative space. But GWTM says that the sentence "Whose are these lovely mittens?" should be diagrammed with "Whose" in the subject space and "mittens" in the PN space. Whose | are \ mittens This looks wrong to me. Shouldn't it be mittens | are \ Whose like this?
  8. Oh and that reminds me. I heard from my brother-in-law (who sometimes gets his facts a bit confused) that the tap water in Florida is not actually safe to drink. That's not correct, is it? I didn't see anything like that when I did a quick Google about it.
  9. Yep, it's definitely really tasty! My in-laws don't like the flavor of the tap water down there and buy cases and cases of that water.
  10. Do you have a recommended model? 🙂
  11. We've shopped there when visiting my in-laws! They are pricey, but I can't remember being treated more kindly by employees apart from when I was living in Japan 😄
  12. We've thought about the heat a lot! In fact, we have a family member who experienced something similar some years ago and only lasted about 6 months. We're confident that I can handle it (constantly freezing even in summer), but to be honest we are worried about my hubby's tolerance for it. However, we are doing--essentially in reverse--what I bolded above. We own a condo up here, we are hiring a property manager for it and will have to be returning relatively frequently due to a court decision that the kids see their birth mother a certain number of times per year. We'll be renting in FL, at least to start. Beyond that, our plan is to move this winter, with the hope that we'll get accustomed as it gets hotter with the change of seasons. We'll have to see how it goes, but we have certainly thought about it 🙂
  13. Oo, I love this idea!! Hopefully Polk County is similar 🙂
  14. Thank you both! I'd heard about the evaluation thing, we don't have that in MA so I was worried about it. Good to know it's not that big of a deal. Are the FL libraries networked so you can order a book online and have it sent to your local library for pickup? I really rely on that service for homeschooling here! (Also, do the libraries have museum passes that can be "checked out" for a day? Each library near me has one or two of those.)
  15. We have decided.... we're moving from MA to Lakeland, FL to be closer to my father-in-law! We are excited and also VERY nervous. We've never lived outside of New England! I'd love recommendations for how to navigate homeschooling (middle/high school), helping them find friends, good field trip destinations, etc! Also, if anybody has made this type of cross-country move, what do you wish you'd known/planned out ahead of time?
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