Ottakee Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I am looking at driving out to Montana with a friend and then flying back. Depending on which flights I can find, I will be gone 4-5 days. The kids are 27ds (mentally impaired), 19dd (mentally impaired) 18dd (borderline impaired), and 11 foster ds (4th grade in public school). They would be left with the 3 horses to care for as well as the dog, cat, chickens and bearded dragon. If you did this would you make meals ahead for them and expect that they would actually EAT them? Just buy lots of convenience foods and not worry about their diet? Realize that they will just eat junk and fast food/pizza/subs so why bother even thinking of it? They are all pretty excited that I am looking at leaving as that means they can PARTY here...........aka, eat junk food, stay up late, watch movies, not worry too much about messes, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I eventually developed the philosophy of, if they are all alive nothing else matters. :D You could make food and leave directions. You can always eat it when you get home. Will dh oversee the care of the animals? 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I've never actually given it much consideration, lol. My house is almost always stocked with plenty of "real" food, a bit of "junk" food, take out menus, and dh knows where the grocery store is. I've left for more than 2 weeks and shorter trips, and nobody's ever starved while I was gone. :001_smile: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 The 2 girls will oversee the care of the animals. They know more about the care than dh does. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Dh tends to do a lot of take out. My oldest also likes experimenting with recipes on the family when I'm gone. My job is to not freak about money spent or nutrition. It's a small price to pay. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I would make a couple of freezer meals like Lasagna and Tamale pie and then if they want to eat them, they can. If not, it will be there when I get home. Hope you have a great time! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xixstar Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 My spouse would appreciate meals left but would also survive if I didn't. So I would if I had the time and not stress if I run out of time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Let 'em party! Let 'em eat what they want. It'll be a fun time they'll fondly look back on one day... "Remember that time mom went away and we..." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Let 'em party! Let 'em eat what they want. It'll be a fun time they'll fondly look back on one day... "Remember that time mom went away and we..." This is their philosophy. Dh makes them tow the line for big things but lets the little things slide while I am gone.............and they get more pop and junk food and videos. They love it. I have seen where some moms plan out all of the meals, premake the big things, etc...........but in reality, I don't see them using/eating much if any of that. I will buy hot dogs and buns, buns for bugers, cereal, milk, some pop (or the will pay gas station prices for it), snacks, etc. along with some fruit. I will leave the coupons for pizza, subs, etc. as well...........and not worry about the $$$ spent. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I don't go away often (certainly not often enough...) but when I do, I leave very simple things, and with the expectation that not everything will get eaten. So, I wouldn't leave fresh meat or fish, but would have some salmon filets and boneless chicken in the freezer so if my husband decided to grill, he could. But I also have left convenience foods like the buffalo-style chicken nuggets (along with blue cheese dressing and bagged salad), frozen pizza. fish sticks, cold cuts, stuff like that. There are always the makings of tacos/burritos/quesadillas and/or taco salad in the house, also plenty of eggs and cheese, usually fresh spinach - my daughter has started making quiches and frittatas so would do that for sure. I'd expect them to eat out at least once in a 4 or 5 day trip. I do leave a list so they can find what they need. My husband and son have that thing where they can't find stuff in the fridge, freezer, or pantry. So I try to help them out. The last thing I want is for my being away to be a cause of extra work or inconvenience. I want them to be able to have fun. I want them to enjoy the time! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I wouldn't worry about the food AT ALL. The thing that I would be stressing is that I expect to come home to a reasonably clean house. If that's not reasonable for them, I would see about having a friend drop in once per day to direct a cleaning hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 My main concern would be making things as easy as possible on dh, especially if he was taking on extra responsibilities so I could have a *fun* trip. If he indicated that having a few heat-and-go meals ready would help, and if I had the time, I would make some things ahead. Otherwise, I'd just leave them to their own devices. It's only a few days, after all. I wouldn't get too up-in-arms about junk food for just a few days. It would be like a vacation for them too. When we were kids, we used to LOVE the rare occasions when my mom had to be gone for an evening because it was the only time we ever got McDonald's! My dad is/was a great cook (he grew up in a family-owned restaurant) but he hates it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 My family loves it when I'm not around to cook dinner and they wish I were gone more often. I would neither shop for them or cook anything ahead and they'd make what they wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I'd buy sandwich supplies and bread, breakfast supplies like ceral and milk, plus other healthy - ish foods that are easy to prepare. Frozen pizzas is a given. I keep a well-stocked extra freezer, and much of what I'd buy for them would be stored in the freezer without fear of spoiling, so if they had something else I could serve it at another point when I returned. I'd have a rough diiner ideas planned, but it would be there choice what they ate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I have done it both ways. Work it out with dh as to what his preference is. For budget purposes, it helps if I pre-stock the house with food whether it is heat and go or just easy meal ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medawyn Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I'd be grateful the house was still standing and try to ignore the rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I've taken trips away from my brood with all but the baby several times. I prep school folders but leave the meals up to whatever he picks, because that is easier for him than trying to follow my menus or figure out which fridge item to reheat, and less stressful for me as I'm trying to leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I would maybe do something like chili and a pasta casserole and freeze and have some convenience foods around. And forget it! You can always eat the frozen stuff later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Nope. When I'm gone - whether for 3 days or 2 weeks - what they eat and stuff is not.my.problem. Pretty much everything that happens in that time, I don't bother with. Dh needs a babysitter while I'm gone, he gets one. They need food, they go to the store. I'm too busy with my own stuff to bother with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 My boys would get creative. They'd buy a bunch of stuff that I don't notice at the grocery since I'm usually on autopilot, and create meals I would never think of. Weird "man food" as they call it. :) I might make them something they love like lasagna to tide them over, but they are really self sufficient and they'd probably like the opportunity to DYI. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 My partner can cook. He knows how to make food and is responsible with kids. He plans activities and has an adult schedule. I wouldn't have to do anything. My ex-husband was much less mature and raised in a macho culture. He still knew how to serve healthy milk and cereal, make a decent lunch sandwich, and buy canned soups for dinner or make a decent omelette. He knows how to grocery shop and he knows how to buy on sale. Not to brag, but to put in a good word for good men everywhere. They exist. Yay. Penis somehow doesn't get in the way of reading, Googling, following instructions, going to the store, and thinking. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I used to leave meals that were good. Then I started leaving meals that were convenient. Then I realized that a huge part of the "Mom's off duty" fun was for dad to load up everyone and make a grocery store field trip. So now I do nothing but reign 'em in once I get home. Eta all that to say, ask your husband what he might like you to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 My partner can cook. He knows how to make food and is responsible with kids. He plans activities and has an adult schedule. I wouldn't have to do anything. My ex-husband was much less mature and raised in a macho culture. He still knew how to serve healthy milk and cereal, make a decent lunch sandwich, and buy canned soups for dinner or make a decent omelette. He knows how to grocery shop and he knows how to buy on sale. Not to brag, but to put in a good word for good men everywhere. They exist. Yay. Penis somehow doesn't get in the way of reading, Googling, following instructions, going to the store, and thinking. What does this have to do with making things convenient for the family when the one who usually does the cooking is going to be away? Yeah, my husband can do all those things. I'd rather he didn't have to (unless he wants to), since it's easier and less unpleasant for me to do it. He checks all the fluids and the tire air pressure in the vehicles for me if he's going to be away, because even though I can do it, it's easier and less unpleasant for him to do. I appreciate that he does that, just as he appreciates that I take care of the food. Thinking?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 When I leave I simply leave. There is no advance meal planning. DH does feed them more hotdogs and chips than I would, but that's part of the fun of having mom away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 When my wife and DD go out of town, my wife makes a big pot of spaghetti and I can survive on that for a few days. If my wife goes out of town and DD is here with me, DD prepares our Breakfasts and we eat what my wife prepared for us and I go out for take out food. In the case of your DH and kids at home, prepare what they like and food that will not spoil quickly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 What does this have to do with making things convenient for the family when the one who usually does the cooking is going to be away? Yeah, my husband can do all those things. I'd rather he didn't have to (unless he wants to), since it's easier and less unpleasant for me to do it. He checks all the fluids and the tire air pressure in the vehicles for me if he's going to be away, because even though I can do it, it's easier and less unpleasant for him to do. I appreciate that he does that, just as he appreciates that I take care of the food. Thinking?? Not to jump in, but I took what binip said as meaning that some women think men in general (or their actual partners) simply cannot handle basic, Adult 101 level things, like finding food for their families if Mom is away. And there are MEN who don't think they can, either. But most can, and she's putting in a plug for those who can AND do. Of course, it's NICE to set things up so your spouse/sig other doesn't have to stretch at all, but it's not necessary for most men to have every.little.thing organized for them by Mom if she's going away. I have met women who are so tightly holding on to their role as Ruler of the Homestead that they truly believe their adult spouses incapable of figuring out how to feed/diaper/transport/put to bed/whatever their mutual children. They really believe the house will fall totally apart if Mom leaves for a few days. I don't think Ottakee or anyone here is saying that, but I've encountered it! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Not to jump in, but I took what binip said as meaning that some women think men in general (or their actual partners) simply cannot handle basic, Adult 101 level things, like finding food for their families if Mom is away. And there are MEN who don't think they can, either. But most can, and she's putting in a plug for those who can AND do. Of course, it's NICE to set things up so your spouse/sig other doesn't have to stretch at all, but it's not necessary for most men to have every.little.thing organized for them by Mom if she's going away. I have met women who are so tightly holding on to their role as Ruler of the Homestead that they truly believe their adult spouses incapable of figuring out how to feed/diaper/transport/put to bed/whatever their mutual children. They really believe the house will fall totally apart if Mom leaves for a few days. I don't think Ottakee or anyone here is saying that, but I've encountered it! I see it all the time. Even though I don't feel a need to do much beyond give hugs and kisses goodbye, I worry sometimes about the every day messages my dds are internalizing. When I'm gone, they have a very strong tendency to try to micromanage dh. Or when the girls are with me and we leave the "boys" all together, my dds will leave notes/directions around the house. I realize they are living in a pretty gender-traditional household, but I really suspect they're picking up this sexist crap from television and society's portrayal of hopelessly incompetent men. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I'd do whatever was not a ton more work for me. So if the easiest thing is frozen convenience foods, then by all means. It's not like you do this often. Go enjoy yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Thank you, Chris, you have exactly captured my point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 My husband does most of the cooking already. I wouldn't worry about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Now i just need to get flights. The one I really wanted with a mileage ticket is no longer available. My other options are another city with money or my choice city with even more money.......or pray a mileage ticket opens up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Will someone be keeping up with laundry while you are gone? The rest of the stuff doesn't bother me so much, but coming home to a mountain of dirty clothes sucks the joy out of my adventure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Will someone be keeping up with laundry while you are gone? The rest of the stuff doesn't bother me so much, but coming home to a mountain of dirty clothes sucks the joy out of my adventure. The older kids and dh know how to do laundry. I honestly don't mind that so much if they have the dishwasher run and all of the dishes picked up from around the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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