Word Nerd Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I think it's ludicrous for the birthday boy's family to do this and also ridiculous that the other family took it to the media. It's like a battle of the drama queens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I have 3 mid-winter birthdays. We have done venues- roller skating, bowling, & pool and gym at our health club was always popular, and not costly. My summer b'day gets the backyard & beach parties. The worst part of this story is the bullying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I think this mom is patently ridiculous. But, then again, if you can't afford to spend that much per kid and write it off if someone doesn't show, then you shouldn't do that activity. I have done parties at home and venue parties. My older two usually only wanted a small group of people at their parties. Those were manageable and the parents stayed. Then we started inviting one or two friends to do something special. But dd is an extrovert with lots of friends. After doing several at home parties, I found myself exhausted after the cooking, cleaning, and baking that there wasn't much left of me to supervise and, perhaps, entertain. I started dreading her parties and then I was crabby, spoiling the experience for her. One year, we planned to have a backyard party, but it poured all day. We had some house projects that weren't done and I could not have it inside. So, last minute, I was able to pull together a bowling party. The kids had a blast. It wasn't terribly expensive. And when it was over, there wasn't any more work to be done. That was the last year I tried to do a party at home. We have done meal-packing parties at Feed My Starving Children, parties at the animal shelter where we volunteer, rock climbing (I had a coupon for volunteering at an event there so it was less expensive), "beach" parties at our public swimming venue, etc. Now that she is older and I don't have to entertain, she has slumber parties with just a few friends and we usually have a movie. Plus, dd likes to cook and bake for her own parties, which means less work for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 A few years ago, I realized what a colossal waste of money and time venue parties were for us, and ditched them along with the ridiculous gift bag. Much simpler, we save a ton of money, and the kids have as fun a time with whatever activity is on the menu. Can I just add how much I hate this trend toward 'venue' birthday parties? Yeesh. Every single one of my kids' birthday parties was in our back yard with cupcakes. No dogs, no ponies, no clowns. When/why did kids' birthday parties turn into some huge expensive production? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Was their transportation to the venue? Or were the parents supposed to bring their kids there? If the former, waiting for a no-show held up the party. If the latter, if everyone was to stay together, waiting for a no-show held up the party. The mom did say she had provided her number on the invitation. It is the none-attending kid's folks who lost it. I can see why the first mom got upset. BUT - I still think sending an invoice and the other parent contacting the media was ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I think this mom is patently ridiculous. But, then again, if you can't afford to spend that much per kid and write it off if someone doesn't show, then you shouldn't do that activity. Exactly. By the way, I love your birthday party ideas. Dd is turning 12 soon and I cringe at the party planning. Ds had requested a huge party for his 10th birthday (15 kids/pool party/etc.) 1 kid showed up. 1 kid. Everyone RSVP'd that they would be there. I felt so sorry for him. We had to round up neighbors when it was time to do the birthday cake. After that experience, we've stuck to family stuff, or a 1-2 friend outing of choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Why would anyone care if I want to have a venue party or not? It isn't a moral failing. And it isn't a moral virtue to have a backyard party. Bingo! I greatly dislike when people poo-poo the big parties and I greatly dislike when people poo-poo the simple ones. That's silliness and it really bothers me. We have done both kinds of parties for all 4 of us. When my DH or I turn a round number (40, 50, etc) we have a HUGE party. My 40th was at a laser tag arena with 50 of my friends. Cost us a few hundred. But for my 42nd birthday? Lunch at a diner with just the four of us. (Under $30) My husband bought me a set of 4 drinking glasses that look like you have a mustache when you hold them to your lips. Cost him something like $9.99. I love the venue parties. I love the home parties. I just love parties! No matter what there is activity and excitement and the kids have a blast. No moral failings or high ground no matter what is done. The invoice was bizarre. What dramatic people--all of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Exactly. By the way, I love your birthday party ideas. Dd is turning 12 soon and I cringe at the party planning. Ds had requested a huge party for his 10th birthday (15 kids/pool party/etc.) 1 kid showed up. 1 kid. Everyone RSVP'd that they would be there. I felt so sorry for him. We had to round up neighbors when it was time to do the birthday cake. After that experience, we've stuck to family stuff, or a 1-2 friend outing of choice. That is heartbreaking. What rotten behavior by the other 14. Just rotten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Exactly. By the way, I love your birthday party ideas. Dd is turning 12 soon and I cringe at the party planning. Ds had requested a huge party for his 10th birthday (15 kids/pool party/etc.) 1 kid showed up. 1 kid. Everyone RSVP'd that they would be there. I felt so sorry for him. We had to round up neighbors when it was time to do the birthday cake. After that experience, we've stuck to family stuff, or a 1-2 friend outing of choice. This is so maddening that I don't even have words. OMG, I would have been livid. But it is becoming more and more normal, and if I were starting over with littles again I would not do birthday parties with friends at all. I, also, would stick with 1-2 friend outing of choice. My dd had fabulous slumber parties that were no miss events and I never had a problem with this, but tween girls are very careful with their social street cred, and so I only ever had one no show, and her parents told me that she had another obligation before the party and might not be able to come if it ran late. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeteranMom Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 A situation like this requires a lot of grace on the part of the birthday hostess. I think no-shows have happened at every party. I did a cookie baking party for my daughter one year and bought and made fun things for each girl. One girl didn't show- no email, no call, etc. Yes, it's annoying, but I certainly can't imagine charging her mother for the items. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 A situation like this requires a lot of grace on the part of the birthday hostess. I think no-shows have happened at every party. I did a cookie baking party for my daughter one year and bought and made fun things for each girl. One girl didn't show- no email, no call, etc. Yes, it's annoying, but I certainly can't imagine charging her mother for the items. So true......... it's frustrating when someone rsvp's that they are coming, and then don't show up, without a word. And grace is what the hostess should extend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I feel sorry for the kid when he turns 6, no one will want to come to his party because mom is an idjit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I have to say... I don't know that there is an overwhelming trend toward venue parties anyway. My kids have been to more backyard/park parties than I went to as a kid. When I was little there were a lot of bowling, roller skating and Chuck E. Cheese parties. Also - anyone remember these? - McDonald's parties. We have been to bowling parties and one Chuck E. Cheese party. And we live in a high COL area where most people have small homes, so we have been to several park building parties where the parents just rent the cheap empty little building at the park to hold the party, especially in winter. But nearly all the parties have been DIY. Maybe it's different in some areas though. My kids have never had a venue party unless the park counts as a venue or unless taking one friend for a birthday experience counts as as a party. But I had the venue party to beat all venue parties as a kid. My parents brought my friends to New Orleans and my grandparents rented a streetcar for my party. We rode around the city throwing old Mardi Gras beads and screaming. It was pretty sweet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I am suspecting from how it was described that it was a very small party and the parent holding the party double checked it with the invitee's parents prior to the event. The invitee had no real excuse to not go, just didn't feel like it at the last second. That is beyond rude and it cost the hosts money. The parents of the invitee should pay up. You are only as good as your word and the parents of the invitee were incredibly rude and are teaching their child to behave that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I am suspecting from how it was described that it was a very small party and the parent holding the party double checked it with the invitee's parents prior to the event. The invitee had no real excuse to not go, just didn't feel like it at the last second. That is beyond rude and it cost the hosts money. The parents of the invitee should pay up. You are only as good as your word and the parents of the invitee were incredibly rude and are teaching their child to behave that way. Maybe. According to the parents of the non party goer, they tried to contact the parents, but it was over break. I'm not sure if it was confirmed or what. But even if it is that they blew it off for no reason after saying they'd be there and didn't even bother to call, don't you think it's at least as rude to send an invoice, especially without even talking to them? Two rudes don't make it a right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Just told dh wow so glad we don't celebrate birthdays. We are in the middle of planning a big formal dance for our kids....no one is going to be charged anything for any reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 We don't have venue parties because dds invite 12-15 girls over. It gets too expensive to pay for that many. We have a tiny house and even tinier yard but they cram in here and have a great time. They usually all sleep over and sleep wherever they find a spot. They invite that many because that is their close circle of friends and these girls seem to always travel in packs. Dds don't want to leave anyone out and we go with it because it hasn't really been that big of a deal. They are all sweet girls and we've really never had any drama even though they are teens now. I agree with the other poster who said they think venue parties are not as frequent now as when I was young. I was the kid who never had one and always had a party at home while all of my friends were doing Chuck E Cheese, skating rinks, water parks, and movie theaters. This was in the 70s and 80s. Now, my dds and their friends all have their parties at home (sometimes the pool in the neighborhood). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Dd is having a Pyjama Ball for her 16th :) Hilarious. I don't know what the 'entertainment' will be yet, though I suspect the answer is 'each other'. Sounds like fun! Oldest dd has her bday coming up as well. She wants to take a group of friends and protest outside of SeaWorld. :lol: I'm hopeful we can come up with a compromise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Maybe. According to the parents of the non party goer, they tried to contact the parents, but it was over break. I'm not sure if it was confirmed or what. But even if it is that they blew it off for no reason after saying they'd be there and didn't even bother to call, don't you think it's at least as rude to send an invoice, especially without even talking to them? Two rudes don't make it a right. No showing is rude but I agree. Invoicing for your hospitality is ruder. Way, way, way ruder. Honestly I think this casual/change your mind at the last minute thing is at least part a side effect of some hosts treating guests like they are there to be extras in the birthday pictures. And you don't invoice people who you care about hosting and showing a good time. When we accept an invite to a party from a family we aren't close too, say a scout or classmate invite, I save all of the party details including the parents cellphone and email in my phone right away. I think it's incumbent on hosts to include that information on invites and on guests to save it in case they need to refer to it again because kids do get sick and stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 The thing I don't understand is this.... Didn't it cost the birthday boys mom the same amount if he attended or not? I understand that she wouldn't have had to pay for an empty chair, but she still would have paid for him to attend. She isn't really out anything she hadn't already committed to. It may be annoying to pay for something unnecessarily, but not worth all this fuss. Wasn't it the birthday boy and the attendee who missed out? Not the mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I feel sorry for the kid when he turns 6, no one will want to come to his party because mom is an idjit. Not only that, plus... slapped with a lawsuit for not buying him a "suitable" gift! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 They had this on our local news tonight - on the "can you believe this!" type section at the very end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 They had this on our local news tonight - on the "can you believe this!" type section at the very end. I was just coming to post that it had popped up on our local news at night, too. Slow news day, eh? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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