violamama Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 My boys both have $150-$180 they have saved or been given for Christmas. They often get gifts of $25-100 for birthdays, etc. They each have savings accounts with more in them. Sometimes we let them spend it all, sometimes they tithe or save some percentage, but we need more consistent rules. How do you handle larger money gifts for kids under 10? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 We have them tithe 10%, save 1/2, and let them spend the rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Hubby and I let our kids spend $20 on anything they like even if it's candies. The rest goes to their savings. If they are saving to buy for themselves something expensive that we say they could buy e.g. a $60 Lego set or a Disneyland day pass, then they can spend that amount. ETA: It depends on your kids and how much "fun money" you are comfortable with them having. My kids birthday money total can be 4 digit so no way will I give them free rein now. When we brought them to bank in their money, my 10 year old was joking that it's his college fund. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 DD wants to go to summer camp, so that's what she "spent" most of her money on. I am glad because that is just too much cash for her to spend indiscriminately (she ended up with $180), even after putting some in savings and setting some aside for giving. My older kids can responsibly spend that much on clothing or other needs/wants. The youngest not so much. When they were all much younger, we just went ahead and put much of it into savings right away and gave them a bit to spend on a toy, and helped guide them into donating some to a cause of their choice. But at 10yo, they really need to have say in the matter. It's easier when there's an already existent goal (such as summer camp, sports equipment, a musical instrument, etc). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 At your boys' ages, I think they should tell you what they want to purchase, but you can veto their decision if it is truly inappropriate or -- even better if your kids are generally pretty sensible -- let them make the decision but if you're iffy about it, ask them to wait a few days and if they still want to buy the item, you'll take them back to the store to get it. A good percentage of the time, they might forget all about that thing they saw in the store and just had to buy, if you make them wait a day or two. I don't force savings or tithing because if the money was a gift, it belongs to the child and not to me, so I don't think it's right to demand that they donate any of it or put it in the bank, or whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 By ten we were pretty much giving them free rein to do as they wished with monetary gifts. Under five -- we just stuck it in their bank account, or maybe gave them $5 - $10 to spend and put the rest in their account. In between five and eight or so are gray years, I think. Once they got past ten they were allowed to spend monetary gifts on anything they wanted. To our way of thinking that was part of learning to handle their own money. Enforcing saving or tithing doesn't really teach them anything IMO (other than parents can force kids to do stuff). Now as teenagers youngest DS has several thousand dollars in his bank account from his own savings. Oldest DS doesn't have as much in his savings account, but he started an investment (stock) account several years ago. I'm not sure of the value of that right now, and he also has quite a lot of nice clothes and shoes. So to our way of thinking allowing them to do as they wish with their money has worked out pretty well. Of course a lot depends on the individual child. We were probably lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 At that age, I mostly let them decide. It also, depends on the child. By 10, my dd was making and saving significant money (for a kid). She saved and made big purchases on her own. At 9 or 10 she purchased a camera and an American Girl doll. She was never one to piddle money on candy. So, I actually never counseled her at all. She will give to charity on her own. She has purchased presents for friends/family since she was 12. Her older brother always had to be counseled about bigger goals. There were a couple years that he was told tell people he needed money for a trip he was going on (without mom and dad). He was required to save every penny because we weren't fully funding his trips or spending money on his trips and he had no means of earning. He is still a terrible money manager. I think it's maturity/ADHD/personality, but he is beginning to show signs of considering consequences of financial decisions and figuring out being without money stinks. He wouldn't learn that if I managed his money for him. My youngest has intellectual disabilities. No one gives him money. Sometimes he gets a gift card. I usually pick out something for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Save half and spend half for amounts over $50. Up to $50, spend or save, up to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Our kids don't get much gift money, occasionally $10 but always a $2 bill from my grandma. My two younger ones rarely realize they have money so we stick it in their piggy banks. My oldest (7) usually divides his money into give, spend, and save. With his chore/allowance money we do 1/3 into each but his spend gets slightly more when the amount doesn't divide evenly. With his gift money we let him decide but encourage him to save it for the big purchase lego set he wants. Sometimes he spends it right away and sometimes he spends part and saves part. Again we are talking about $10 here not the amounts you referenced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Your kids are pretty little so...they are depending on you to facilitate the shopping. Do they have actual savings accounts? That can be a big savings inspiration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I let my kids spend it on what they want. I'm not always thrilled with their choices, but the people who give them the money want them to feel free to spend it on what they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Mine stick theirs in their short term savings accounts, and then when they want something throughout the year, the money is there for them. We do have a waiting period for things, so they don't just buy the first thing they see that they "want." Often it goes towards LEGO sets; they have appreciated that they can buy the bigger sets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Ds started having a list of want items at an early age. Less than $50, we usually let him decide. After about age 9, he had full reign to decide at any amount. I think there is value in letting them make decisions with small amounts, the regret of impulse purchase, the excitement wearing off quickly, those are among the things ds learned at a early age. At 17, he still has a list. He purchasing off that list from Christmas money today, actually. With a list generated before they have the money, it becomes about making a purchase, not just spending money - if that makes sense. I grew up with the idea (unfortunately) that if I had $20 I needed to spend it on something, not that there was something I needed or wanted and needed x amount of dollars to buy that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 DH and I just spent the entire afternoon yesterday working out our official Kid's Money Policy. The kids are 9 and 12, so you might not go to the Red zone until they're a little older, but I'll explain it all anyway: I realized that I started saving for my retirement when I was 20 years old. This meant that I was going to be saving money for 50 years before I ever touched a penny of it. This is not unusual and is appropriate for people who are working and want to retire one day. We want to pass on to the kids the idea that you always set money aside that you will not touch for YEARS. Even for 50 solid years. And when the 50 years are up, it won't be spent on a toy. It will be for shelter or food or something grownup like that. So, here's what we've decided. Out of every dollar the kids get: 10% goes to tithe or charity. 20% goes to The Red Fund. This is long term saving. Our oldest is 12. He will not touch the red fund until he is ready to buy a car or an apartment or some other such "adult" thing. Our poor 9 year old must also fund his Red Fund. It's harder for him to understand this because when you're 9 the idea of saving for a car is so faaaaar away, but we're getting him used to the idea now. 20% goes to The Yellow Fund. This is short term savings for things like, "I really want some new gaming system that my parents won't buy for me. If I save my money, I'll be able to spend the $200 on the system." This fund can be cleared out if desired, but it take a long time to save up for things, so clearing it out would be something you'd want to think hard about before doing. 50% goes to The Green Fund. This is money to do whatever they want with. They are free to blow it all in one place on Spiderman action figures. They are free to put it in the yellow fund. They can put it in the red fund, but once there it is untouchable. Right now, the kids get very small sums of money. $5 a week for an allowance leaves them with only $2.50 a week of green money and only $1 into each fund. They get infusions of cash at birthdays and Christmas and that's about it. As they get older, the percentages will change. The next level would be to put 25% into each savings fund (50% of what they earn) and keep only 40% as green fun money. Really, it's the infusion of Christmas and Birthday money that funds these boys. We're also considering coming up with jobs for the 12 year old to do to earn a little extra each month. Washing windows, etc. Numbers as of today for my boys: WIth allowances and Christmas money, the boys each have $235. They needed to tithe on the Christmas money only, which left them $225. 20% of the $235 into Red=$47 20% of the $235 into Yellow=$47. This leaves them with $131 green money to do anything they want with. We do not step in with veto power. If they make a stupid purchase, they'll learn the hard way not to waste their money. The only thing I veto is candy and junk food because one boy struggles with weight. He knows ahead of time not to even bother buying food items. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 First, I see a money gift as the equivalent of an object-gift, so I don't require any tithing of it- for example, if DD was gifted a new pair of sneakers, I wouldn't have her donate the shoelaces, KWIM? (But we DO donate outgrown clothing, un-returnable gifts, time, and money... I also don't forbid a child to donate a portion of money gifts if that is their wish) Cash gifts are generally used for clothing that is beyond the usual budget. Also for things I would almost never buy for them- like a $5 Starbucks drink. Putting it in savings is encouraged, but not required. Large purchases, such as an iPod/iPad go through Dad- he is a MASTER at finding amazing deals, so he can help them find a $400-value item for under $200. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lispy Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 For this age, we generally don't make stipulations. We consider monetary gifts to be as any other gift. So not like money they have earned, which we do require a giving and saving aspect. There are times that they are given a gift of cash that is technically a gift of something else. For example, ds has been wanting to go to camp this spring. For Christmas, grandparents gave him cash for that trip. So, of course, that money will be designated/saved for that trip. Also, my teens recently got a new bedroom suit, and are planning new paint colors, etc for decor. Grandmother gave them money for bedroom purchases. So, again, room purchases only. If the gift is just cash (or giftcard or whatever), to me that is saying, I wanted to give you something you'd like, and this is what I wanted to spend. So child can choose what they'd like. In other words, first of all, it depends on the intent of the giver. No, for the general cash gifts, I will definitely guide in a choice if I feel a kid needs it. If I know something is overpriced, we will talk about that, and either wait for sale or find something else/go someplace else, etc. Also, if they have a large amount of money and are buying small ticket items, I usually only let them get a bit at a time (rather than spend $100 on $1-2 toys). Actually, that is mostly avoided anyway, because before we go shopping, I usually wait until they have something in mind to look at.....not just "let's go to spend our Christmas money". So, long story short, guided, but not dictated spending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 We council, don't make rules. Certainly, if a relative gave my kid $20 for Christmas, I'd let them buy a Christmas gift with it. Not force $2 to charity and other percentages to savings goals. If that same relative had given a lego set, they wouldn't have to give some of the set away and save some for later. I wouldn't force or even strongly encourage any child to spend frivolously, but I feel it's respectful of the gift giver to use it on something the kids would enjoy at the age they're at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 We council, don't make rules. Certainly, if a relative gave my kid $20 for Christmas, I'd let them buy a Christmas gift with it. Not force $2 to charity and other percentages to savings goals. If that same relative had given a lego set, they wouldn't have to give some of the set away and save some for later. I wouldn't force or even strongly encourage any child to spend frivolously, but I feel it's respectful of the gift giver to use it on something the kids would enjoy at the age they're at. I do council. And I think my kids "hear" me sometimes because they will ask, "Do you think that's a good use of the money?" I was a bit stunned by that the other day. But then often enough they don't care if it is a good use of the money. They just want what they want. I'm no different really. I just have more people to be responsible for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Our kids give 10% (they can give more if they like) then we talk with them about saving and spending goals and they put some into their savings accts. and spend some. Only once have mine had more than about $30 at a time though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 We council, don't make rules. Certainly, if a relative gave my kid $20 for Christmas, I'd let them buy a Christmas gift with it. Not force $2 to charity and other percentages to savings goals. If that same relative had given a lego set, they wouldn't have to give some of the set away and save some for later. I wouldn't force or even strongly encourage any child to spend frivolously, but I feel it's respectful of the gift giver to use it on something the kids would enjoy at the age they're at. I see what you're saying, but I want to instill some very specific money habits into my kids. I'm choosing to teach them to defer spending all the money they get. I want them to be the sort of people who can pay off their mortgages years early and buy cars in cash. The only way you can do this is to learn pretty early on how to defer the pleasure of spending no matter how you got the money: earned or gifted. And I do practice what I preach. MIL gave dh and I $500 for Christmas. Cool. We're using that money to zero out Christmas--so it's like we never even had to pay for the presents we already bought--by putting it all directly into the bank. The next week, she gave us an additional $100 dollars for our birthdays. That's $600 total in the bank. Well--we splurged on a bag of fried chicken from Royal Farms for dinner ($12), and lunch for the four of us at a local diner (under $25 including tip) to celebrate our birthdays. The rest is banked. So...we're going to pass this lifestyle on to the kids and teach them to save a portion of gifts and windfalls. I'd love to be able to say, "It's gift money--spend as you will!" but the bigger picture is more important to us right now. Right now I'm just happy with the peace of mind of knowing that all the expenses we had in December have been zeroed out. Tempting as it is, we're not going to spend the $600 gift money. We're saving it. I want my boys to learn how to do that so they have financial peace of mind when they're adults and in charge of thousands of dollars each year and not just the $260 we give them as an allowance a year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 Thanks for all the great discussion/comments. I think part of this is that I need the rules so I can be okay with them blowing $40 on freaking Pokemon cards. My older boy (turns 9 in a few weeks) has heard a lot of lecturing from me about the closed-ended-ness of those cards (he literally has hundreds already and doesn't play the game really) and that he buys one only to immediately "need" another. I think a set of clearer rules is necessary for me to give him the space he needs to make some dumb choices and then (hopefully) learn from them. Or revel in them like what he is- a child. Either way, rules will help me back off. I'm more naturally a saver and he was, too, until those cards came along. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I want them to be the sort of people who can pay off their mortgages years early and buy cars in cash. The only way you can do this is to learn pretty early on how to defer the pleasure of spending no matter how you got the money: earned or gifted. Agree with your first sentence but not the second. I want my kids to grow up to do a lot of things I don't require of them now. We talk about values. We talk about money; when my daughter wants something expensive (she is 6), I explain we can afford to buy that OR something of more use and long term value- and I follow through. My husband and I act as role models as best we can. But there are also a lot of time when the grown ups do chores while the kids play. Which is to me the equivalent of grownups paying off credit cards in full each month, maxing out IRAs and 401k, while the kids get to be kids don't have to give away portions of every dollar for similar categories. Certainly when the kids are older and have we will encourage making a budget and all kinds of financial literacy. I didn't understand the stock and bond markets until after college which is, in retrospect, ridiculous to me. But I think it's fine if financial responsibility scales up with financial education. And in the meantime, I can send grandma a photo of the kid playing with a toy with the caption "here is what we got with the money you sent, thank you so much!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 The reason he gets cash/visa/gift card is two fold. 1) no one lives near us so everything must be shipped. 2)i live with with him and even I don't know what he is talking about when he starts telling me the latest nerf weapon or halo/ lego thing he wants, so his aunt or grandparents certainly don't have a clue. He can spend all the money he gets, which this tear will total out to $200 plus. If his grandparents knew which to get him, they would spend the $75 on a specific thing. Same with the aunt. I figure if they would have bought it, then he should be allowed to buy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeenagerMom Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I don't tell the kids how to spend their money gifts. DS12 is a natural saver. He managed to save a portion of birthday, Christmas, and odd jobs and paid for 2/3 of his new gaming computer (the rest was his Christmas gift from us). DD14 uses her gift money and babysitting money to fund her social life. It goes towards her movie outings, eating out after church, and her expensive makeup habit. We teach by example. The kids see & help me regularly shop sales & coupon. They know we save a significant portion of our incomes each month. They helped us shop for our house renovation on a budget and know we used our savings to do it. When they get "real" jobs, we will start savings for them to deposit part of their earnings into. They know if they want to drive, they have to get jobs & pay 1/2 their insurance each month. They know if they want smartphones, they will be paying that portion of our phone bill. But for now, gifts are gifts and meant to be fun so that is what they use them for. DH and I also spend any gift money we receive on ourselves. My Mom doesn't want to see me use it for groceries. She wants to see my new boots or hairstyle. She wants to see me enjoy things for myself and frankly, we deserve to enjoy our gift money when we bust our hineys to be financially responsible every other day of the year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Gift money can be spent in any way they want. 10% of money earned needs to be saved and tithing from money earned is encouraged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocassie Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 My oldest is 7.5yo and so far all money goes into the bank or piggy bank at home. I have always done this so I don't know if it even occurs to them to ask to buy something with it. Christmas and birthdays, each kid is overwhelmed with gifts and only grandparents really give them money/checks. The kids come with me to the bank to deposit the money, and they help me fill our the deposit slip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 We let dd save it or spend it on whatever (appropriate thing) she wants. I figure she's not going to learn to handle money if she doesn't decide what to do with it for herself, so better to learn now than when she's eighteen and decides to get a credit card or whatever, like I did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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