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life lessons - grief


AMJ
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Saturday morning my SIL's Dad died, a kind and wonderful man we loved dearly.  Today was his funeral, 3.5 hours' drive away.  It was small, just family, and at least half of the attendees were kids.  Yes, including ours.  All in all it went well, though it was less of a turn-out than Paw-Paw deserved.

 

Our kids have now been to their first funeral, and are learning about grief, not only theirs, but the grief of their cousins, who lost a grandfather, and their aunt, who despite being devastated had to make all of the arrangements.  Paw-Paw was just 68 years old.

 

Please say prayers, send good vibes, good karma, healing and/or helpful energy, whatever you have got for everyone who loved Paw-Paw and is now grieving.  There is still work to be done (clearing and cleaning his apartment), and documents to be located and dealt with.  Not an easy time for my wonderful SIL.  We will help all we can.  I declared a homeschool hiatus for the week for grieving and helping.

 

*sigh*  :sad:  

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Many hugs to you and your family.

 

I will be attending a funeral this weekend for a friend. She was only 62 years old, and her grandchildren will miss her dearly.

 

Everything right back at you and your friend's family.  My heart goes out to them.  ((HUG))

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I am so sorry for your family's loss. When my dad was killed almost 2 years ago in a hit and run accident, I was SO thankful that we homeschooled because I took a month off with my daughter to travel cross-country to stay with my mom after the funeral, to help her with all the insurance and other complicated paperwork she just couldn't manage on her own. Take as much time as you and the kids need, it really does help. {hugs and prayers.}

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I am so sorry for your loss, but grateful you could all attend.

 

My kids will be facing their first funeral soon… my Dad…their beloved Grandpa…and I'm not sure how they will handle it.  I think it will be really hard on them.

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My kids will be facing their first funeral soon… my Dad…their beloved Grandpa…and I'm not sure how they will handle it.  I think it will be really hard on them.

:crying:  and  :grouphug:

It has been over two years since my father died. My kids have moved on, but they still surround me and start urging, "Don't cry, Momma!" whenever something comes up to remind us of him. I don't know what else to say except I'm so sorry to hear someone else will be short a wonderful father soon. 

 

AMJ - Hugs to you & yours. Hard life lessons!  :grouphug:

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I am so sorry for your loss, but grateful you could all attend.

 

My kids will be facing their first funeral soon… my Dad…their beloved Grandpa…and I'm not sure how they will handle it.  I think it will be really hard on them.

 

My 13-year-old nephew is having a rough time -- he is a wonderful young man who takes on responsibility personally, and was very close to Paw-Paw.  He was at our house when we got the call; I told him, then left him with DH and our DDs while I fetched the other cousins so SIL and BIL could do what needed doing.  DH reported later that DN was feeling unsettled because he couldn't feel the belief right away and accept it.

 

I have seen buried too many people close to me, so I say this from experience: everyone grieves differently, and every death is different.  Your grief at each death is different.  Your kids will have a rough time, and so will you.  Be kind to yourselves and let each other know that whatever you each are feeling it is valid.  If they don't cry right away it is fine.  If they bawl their eyes out and are functionally useless it is fine.  If they need activity, normality, distraction so they can process it in their own time, it is fine.

 

Lots of hugs to you and yours.

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There is a cute picture book called Tear Soup.  It is simple enough for a child to understand but is very deep.

 

Thank you.  I will likely order it for my nieces and nephews.  When my brother died years ago my Mom gave me a copy of I'll See You In My Dreams.  I went looking for it, but I can't find it.  It might be in one of the boxes of books that don't have shelf space right now.  Tear Soup looks like a good alternative.

 

 

 

I am really glad I planned on taking the entire week off of homeschool.  I have been quite off-kilter, like my rudder has gone all wobbly.  I'm ready to pitch in whenever and wherever SIL and BIL need me -- performing tasks is easy, and so is looking at someone else's needs and determining what to do.  But getting my own ship back on course is proving to be more of a challenge.  This weekend is Labor Day weekend, so perhaps that, too, will help us get back into the swing of things.

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