if your child was/is afraid of automatic flush toilets......

[HappyLady]

Any words of wisdom on what to do?  My DS is almost 4.  About a year ago, an automatic flush toilet flushed while he was sitting on the potty and ever since then he's been PETRIFIED of them.  I try to avoid public bathrooms as much as I can, but sometimes they're unavoidable.  I've shown him repeatedly that I can cover the sensor and it won't flush, but he just screams and screams.  He's speech delayed so he can't really tell me why he's so scared, but I need to do something about this because he just ends up wetting his pants in public.

 

I'm going to be traveling by plane in a few months with him and the last time we were on a plane (back in March) he was scared of the airplane toilet as well and ended up wetting his pants on the plane.  The airports we'll be traveling in all have the automatic flushes so this should be fun.  We have about 2 hour ride from the airport to where we're going so I really need to get this kid to use the bathroom.

 

I'm thinking of putting a pull up on him in case of any accidents, but if you've experienced this, do you have any words of advice?

[skimomma]

Post-its.  Carry them in your purse and put over the sensor.  Then take off when done.  I had a auto-potty-scared kid too:)

 

I did have to show her how the post-it worked.  We did many hand-waving sessions t before she was convinced that she was "safe."

[almondbutterandjelly]

My dd was terrified of "automatic potties" and frankly, at age 13, still kind of is.  My only words of been there done that are that I had to go in with her and put my hand over the sensor.  Sometimes covering the sensor with a piece of tp works, sometimes not.  Maybe give him masking tape to put on the sensor?  That would seem more reliable than tp, which also falls easily as there is nothing to anchor it.

 

It's a noise issue and a suddenness issue for my dd.  She still at times covers her ears from flushes at public toilets.  And she still loathes automatic potties.

 

[Ivey]

My 9yo refused to sit on automatic flush toilets for years, but he was okay with using them standing up. Would that be any better for your son? 

[Forget-Me-Not]

Oh my yes. Disneyland bathrooms were a nightmare on one trip. Yeah, post-it notes or put your hand over the sensor.

 

I get the idea behind them, but I don't love them myself. Especially when the sensor is so sensitive that it goes off WHILE you are still sitting, as is the case at a local store.

[momto10blessings]

My daughter was scared of auto flush until she was about 5. At 6 she's still nervous around them, but no longer terrified

[kewb]

My Dd had the same thing happen to her when ahe was little. Post it notes were a life saver.

[MtnMama]

Another vote for post-its. I never leave home without them :).

[Farrar]

You can often swath the sensor in toilet paper if you forget the post-its.  But yes, carry post-its.

 

They grow out of it.  I no longer enter bathrooms and think, "Ack!  What evil minded person decided to put in automatic flush here!"

[HappyLady]

My 9yo refused to sit on automatic flush toilets for years, but he was okay with using them standing up. Would that be any better for your son? 

 

 

We've tried that and he'll have nothing to do with it.  *sigh*

[Tap]

If you think it is an auditory sensory issue try sound canceling ear muffs. We have these in pink and blue (extra set for school).  They fit well and make a huge difference.  

 

Do some practice runs when he doesn't need to go and BRIBE him heavily with m and ms or whatever works for him.  Start with the sound of the home toilet and work up from there. 

 

 

DO NOT FLUSH until he is off the toilet.  Preferably out of the bathroom.  He could also be reacting to the Swoosh of water he felt.  You may need to get him a little portible potty seat to take with you on the trip.  This will help him feel more secure when he is on the seat.  

 

 

 

[AK_Mom4]

With a 3-not-quite-4 year old, I would have no problem at all putting them in pull ups or those Good Nites for the airplane ride. IMO, that's one place where there is enough other stress going on that you don't need to deal with wet pants too. Changing wet clothes on a kid in one of those tiny bathrooms is a night mare. Put him in pull ups and save the battle for another time.

 

Sometimes, the handicap stall won't have the auto sensor - its worth checking just in case you get lucky. DD13 was scared of the auto flushers until she was nearly seven. She didn't believe that the post it notes would work either - we had to do a bunch of experimenting at a time when she didn't have to actually go before she would trust them.

[swellmomma]

I either go in with dd6 and cover the sensor, or she covers it herself now that she is getting bigger.  She is fine with it flushing when she is done but has had it flush while she is on it so that freaks her out.  Covering the sensor does the trick.  

[Kerileanne99]

This may be waay more girly than useful for a boy, but maybe you can adapt it:

 

Dd has always, always been very literal. Even as a tiny tot she would get upset at what she saw as 'wrong' or irrational. Ridiculous things like children's books having animals making the 'wrong' sounds, even if it was intentionally part of the story, would result in my finger being slammed in the book by an unamused child.

 

Magic she always saw as ridulous, but did glom on to princess stories eventually, although she insisted on pointing out how ridiculous they were, and like pretty much every toddler girl I know loved princess dresses. (I swear she DID NOT get it From me, I even swaddled the kid in plain yellows, greens, and blues!).

 

So. Total fear of public toilets an those crazy Dyson hand dryers! Really, I KNOW they don't have to be that loud. I think people like them loud for the sounds they disguise!

We tried post it notes and all manner of things. One day I gave her a wand and let her wave it 'magically' to make the sensor flush. Again and again. We probably wasted more water than I can be forgiven for:(

Even though she knew it wasn't the cause, it was putting a silly spin on the situation that changed her outlook.

 

She still HATES the noise and the randomness of the things, but will now cover her ears with a slight smile. She has a different outlook. She still makes jokes like

'Bibbity bobbity bean, change this toilet from dirty to CLEAN!'

 

Any chance of modifying that?

[datgh]

:grouphug:  Been there done that.  :glare:   I used to dread the airport. Couldn't they have put in a couple of regular flush toilets in the line up?  Thank heavens my ds is almost 18 and has outgrown it.  I used to put my jacket over the sensor but he would only agree to trying that when he was beyond desperate. Made for a long evening when dh's flight was delayed.  Wish I would have thought of post its!

[applethyme]

Pull ups and post it notes are your friend.  This way if he absolutely won't use the potty with the the post it note at least you wont have wet clothes and seats to deal with.

[dsmith]

Ugh, we went through this for a very long time! Even now at 15 he still has trouble with the noise, although not as much. I used to have to cover his ears, or cover the sensor and I would flush after he left. Those hand dryers that sound like jet engines are a problem still. He uses ear protection for anything that bothers him, like movies or going to the range. It's kind of comical to watch him make soda with the Sodastream. He tries to hold down the carbonation button while covering one ear with his hand and the other with his shoulder. He gets used to the noise after a few seconds though. He is better than he used to be. Between the ages of 4 and 12 were the worst years. He would hide in a box under a pile of blankets with ear protection on during thunderstorms, but now they don't bother him. A very loud unexpected noise, like a car backfiring near him or being close to an ambulance with sirens going, will completely freak him out and it will take about 30 minutes to calm him down.

[Occasionally]

This is more extreme, but can you carry an empty bottle or jar for him to go in if absolutely necessary? Try Post-its first, but if he absolutely won't go, you can have him use the jar and empty it when he's out of the stall. I've also explained to the kids (this is all four of them now!) that the automatic toilets are trying to help, but sometimes they make mistakes, like anybody does. Sometimes they flush too early, sometimes you have to tell them when to flush. They're trying their best, though.

 

There's nothing like anthropomorphizing the toilets.

[AnnE-girl]

I'm just adding my vote to despising who ever decided it was too difficult for people to flush the toilet on their own.  DS hates the sound of the hand driers, but he's getting better.  DD is starting to get a little more relaxed about the automatic toilets, but I still have to cover the sensors for her.  We just don't have to have the discussion about how holding her pee until we get home isn't a healthy option very often anymore.

 

 And one more vent--the bathrooms at the community center where DD takes dance classes has automatic flushing toilets and the stupid faucets that you have to hold down to keep the water running.  So they waste water when the auto flush goes off three times while you are still going, and then try to to save water by making it nearly impossible to wash your hands without touching the germy faucet that everyone has to hold down with dirty hands after using the bathroom. I use a combination of paper towels and strategic hand washing, but it's gross.     

[SKL]

I think there are disposable urinals (specially designed bags) that can be used when a toilet isn't an option.  Otherwise the empty bottle idea might work.  The pull-up might be a good plan as well.

 

Could you work with him at home on standing to pee?

[mom2samlibby]

Post-its. Carry them in your purse and put over the sensor. Then take off when done. I had a auto-potty-scared kid too:)

 

I did have to show her how the post-it worked. We did many hand-waving sessions t before she was convinced that she was "safe."

That's what my SIL did too.

[fdrinca]

This is my kiddo, too. 

 

Even if we post-it our toilet, someone in the bathroom will flush at some point.

 

We seek out individual stalls. We do lots and lots of pull-ups when we're out. I've come to accept it in order to safeguard the well-being of my anxious kiddo. 

 

For us, it's the noise that's a problem. We have noise-cancelling headphones that help the problem. Our current battle are the incredibly loud hand dryers. Luckily for you, the airplane is so loud that the flush will be obscured by the engines. It won't help the flush sensation, though...

 

Good luck!

[SorrelZG]

I like the idea of noise canceling earphones. My child is as equally terrified of the auto flushers going off in the other stalls and I have less control over those.

[Tammyla]

MALE BED URINAL, Amazon sells them. 

 

They look like a strange pitcher and you would have to clean it, but it could be very helpful.  If not, I would go with the pull-ups or cover the sensor.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

My DD was absolutely terrified of those.  Sometimes she refused to use a bathroom that had those.  I would have to try and cover the sensor so she could go.  Seriously, I can't even describe how scared she was of them.  She's 11 and still doesn't like them. :huh:

[flopsymopsy]

my son had an awful experience with an automatic toilet. It flushed while clogged(i was in the stall next to him helping his sister). Water shot out everywhere! I shutter recalling the incident. He would not use a public bathroom again.......for a long time. So, we had a potty chair stored in the back of the van for use. Outdoors if we could find a private area he would go right there. Time is your friend on this one. My son is now a teen and is totally fine with public restrooms(thank goodness)!

[Pippen]

Finding ways to help empower HIM to deal with the problem will be the most helpful in getting him over the hurdle. I like the idea of the noise cancelling headphones.

 

Is he in speech therapy? One technique commoly used in therapy that can be really helpful in situations like this is writing a social story. It should go step-by-step showing him what to expect and use simple language and pictures.

 

1) Jr. tells Mommy he has to go potty.

2) Mommy gives Jr. headphones that only let a little noise through

3) Mommy and Jr. go into the potty.

4) We put a post it over the handle

5) Jr. goes potty.

etc until you put the headphones away.

[bluegirl777]

We can totally relate to all of this. It's so good to know there are others out there just as miffed about dealing with these issues...with or without kids. My pet peeve: automatic flushers that flush three or more times before you finish using the restroom. I mean, if I wanted to give a courtesy flush, I'd do it myself. LOL  :001_huh:

 

ETA: I have two kids with sensory issues as well. We use noise cancelling headphones with great success.

[wintermom]

The child's fear will probably grow bigger the more you make of this issue. No "oh you poor thing" type of reactions as it will reinforce that there is something to be frightened of. I'd bring a handful of colourful Fruit Loop cereal pieces into a rest room with a loud flush toilet and let him have fun tossing the cereal in and flushing, watching the cool colours spin down the bowl. When this game gets a bit boring, try having him toss in the cereal and then use them as target practice when urinating. If loud noises are an issue in general, perhaps let him wear some of those giant construction ear protectors while he does his fun "experiments" in the rest room.

[Murmer]

Not much to add mostly because I have yet to find the right solution but I am so glad to hear I am not the only person with a kid (my almost 7 year old) who freaks about automatic toilets....and yes I curse the day anyone came up the idea of automatic flushing toilets and hand dryers (with no paper towels in the bathroom at all).  Someday I hope we will be able to survive a public toilet.

[LizzyBee]

Any words of wisdom on what to do?  My DS is almost 4.  About a year ago, an automatic flush toilet flushed while he was sitting on the potty and ever since then he's been PETRIFIED of them.  I try to avoid public bathrooms as much as I can, but sometimes they're unavoidable.  I've shown him repeatedly that I can cover the sensor and it won't flush, but he just screams and screams.  He's speech delayed so he can't really tell me why he's so scared, but I need to do something about this because he just ends up wetting his pants in public.

 

I'm going to be traveling by plane in a few months with him and the last time we were on a plane (back in March) he was scared of the airplane toilet as well and ended up wetting his pants on the plane.  The airports we'll be traveling in all have the automatic flushes so this should be fun.  We have about 2 hour ride from the airport to where we're going so I really need to get this kid to use the bathroom.

 

I'm thinking of putting a pull up on him in case of any accidents, but if you've experienced this, do you have any words of advice?

 

I had to go in the stall with my middle dd to cover the sensor for her until she was 7 or 8.  She has SPD, and it terrified her when a toilet flushed while she still on it when she was 3 yo.  I was going to suggest pull ups too, but saw that you already thought of that.

 

[songsparrow]

If he has a favorite character or superhero, perhaps you could put that character's photo on the post-it, and tell your son that the character will make sure the potty does not flush until he's all done and off of / away from the toilet?

[Splash]

I went through this with my dd who is now 13, down to the wetting herself on the plane because the airport had automatic potties and the plane potties were too scary too.  So hard.

 

Things that helped, pull ups for plane.  Sticky notes in purse to cover the sensor and demonstrate that it works.  Holding onto her while she when she went so I could quickly lift her if disaster struck and the potty flushed.  It took a few years to get over it completely but slowly got better.

[TranquilMind]

Any words of wisdom on what to do?  My DS is almost 4.  About a year ago, an automatic flush toilet flushed while he was sitting on the potty and ever since then he's been PETRIFIED of them.  I try to avoid public bathrooms as much as I can, but sometimes they're unavoidable.  I've shown him repeatedly that I can cover the sensor and it won't flush, but he just screams and screams.  He's speech delayed so he can't really tell me why he's so scared, but I need to do something about this because he just ends up wetting his pants in public.

 

I'm going to be traveling by plane in a few months with him and the last time we were on a plane (back in March) he was scared of the airplane toilet as well and ended up wetting his pants on the plane.  The airports we'll be traveling in all have the automatic flushes so this should be fun.  We have about 2 hour ride from the airport to where we're going so I really need to get this kid to use the bathroom.

 

I'm thinking of putting a pull up on him in case of any accidents, but if you've experienced this, do you have any words of advice?

I ALWAYS cover the sensor with toilet paper before I go - unless I fail to notice it is automatic.  I HATE that.  It always flushes before I am done because I don't sit down.  So annoying.  

 

I don't know what you do if you have shown your son that you can prevent it.  Just keep trying, I gues.  Eventually he will get it. 

[Alice]

If he's only 4, can you just take a little potty chair? The one we had was all one piece, so would be easy to carry.  

 

Earphones or even a ipod/music device to let him listen to his own sounds instead of the scary bathroom sounds might help. 

[Dmmetler]

Not much to add mostly because I have yet to find the right solution but I am so glad to hear I am not the only person with a kid (my almost 7 year old) who freaks about automatic toilets....and yes I curse the day anyone came up the idea of automatic flushing toilets and hand dryers (with no paper towels in the bathroom at all). Someday I hope we will be able to survive a public toilet.

Family bathrooms! I love those things, because usually they aren't all a automatic and since they only have one family/person at a time, my SPD DD doesn't have to deal with other people flushing/using the jet airplane level dryers when she's in there. At 9, she can tolerate the big, public bathrooms, but it's really hard on her.