At what age would you let your child play outside unsupervised?

[Petrichor]

OR, at what age of child would you not bat an eye at if he or she were playing alone unsupervised? Alone meaning no other kids or adults.

 

It is a safe suburban area, and the playing area in question would be similar to connected backyards/front yards (no gates/fences and no traffic to worry about).

[Ann.without.an.e]

I voted 5, assuming you trust your neighbors and neighborhood.  Only you know whether your child is capable of being responsible at 5 though?  Some 5 year old kids are cautious and trustworthy and others are risky and like to push the limits ;)

[Cera]

It varies from child to child.  I tend to go by behavior.  Do they tend to listen and follow safety rules?  Are they reliable about seeking help if they need it?  Can you trust them to relay information accurately about what they did (not prone to fibbing)?

[MomtoCandJ]

I shipped dd1 out to play on her own at 3 in our backyard. We are pretty far from the road, surrounded by trees and I can see her from a few windows :)

[bettyandbob]

I let oldest play in front of my house while I was inside at age 3 or 4. He never ever left the tiny square of a yard we have. Honestly, it was like we had invisible fence for him. Dd could not be trusted until she was 7. She liked to wander. Youngest doesn't go out alone. He has Down syndrome. He's almost 13. I have hopes that he will begin more independent stuff. We are considering trying him walking the last 20 yards to school and building on that. He only recently started go play on his own.

 

So, the answer is individual.

[SKL]

I put 4 because that would be an average, but I would allow a 3yo who was reliable.

 

Of course, it depends on what you mean by "supervised."  I used to let my kids play in the backyard while I was working in the kitchen, when they were 2yo or less, for short time periods.  They were very obedient about not going past certain boundary lines, and we live in a safe area, at the end of a cul-de-sac, with the back yard far from the street.

 

I heard of a mom being handcuffed the other day for letting her 7yo walk a half mile to the park in a nice neighborhood.  And then some news commentator talked about it like that was the epitome of careless, loveless parenting.  I find this trend (toward criminalizing normal childhood activity) to be very disturbing.

[SKL]

I admit that it's hearing crap like this that gives me pause. 

 

Same here.  My kids can walk (without an adult) to the park a mile away.  They have done it; they were 6 the first time.  It is very safe.  BUT I am afraid someone with nothing better to do - and no memory of their own childhood - will call the police.  And then the police will feel like they have to "do something."  And then my kids' custody could be in question.  It's ridiculous.  I don't see how kids can develop normally if they never have to figure things out for themselves.

[rmtzc2009]

I am the minority here and voted age 8. It's possible 7. My ds is 5 1/2 and can't be trusted when he's within my sight and I see no signs that he could play without supervision in the near future. I have all boys with adventurous spirits who like to test boundaries so my boys are typically older. We also live near a busy road & are not allowed to have fenced yards.

[Kathryn]

I voted eight for alone and completely unsupervised (no looking out a window or checking every so often) as that is the age when we let our oldest. His brother will be five next month and is a long way from being responsible enough.

[BlsdMama]

We have had a fenced backyard or lived totally rural since our oldest was 3 so I have a hard time with this.  I totally thought 4-5 until I saw no fence and suburban.  Then I jumped to 8.   But, then again, I have the luxury of rural, fenced, and/or older sibs.

[Zuzu822]

We have a completely fenced, suburban backyard that I can see from the kitchen, playroom, and dining room (school room), so I let them go out when we first moved here and the oldest two were 4.5 and 2.5. They are 8 and 6 now, and are fine. I let them climb over the fence to retrieve toys and such now and just make sure they don't break anything jumping, lol.

 

The 3.5 year old I also let out for short periods alone, but ever since my mom proved an average-sized adult could reach over the four foot picket fence and snatch someone, I'm more wary of doing that. It's not at ALL logical, but around high school dismissal time, I like to have an eye on him. If his brothers are out too, he's fine, and I don't worry.

 

I'll also leave the 18 month out there for a minute or two with the older boys if I need to grab water or tissues from the kitchen. Don't send CPS after me!   :leaving:  

 

ETA: Non-fenced, suburban I would say between 4-6, depending on the child. I would probably let my current 3.5 year old out with his brothers, but not alone unless it was a quick trip.

[Seeking Squirrels]

DD was about a month shy of 6 the first time we let her go outside without us. When we had a house she was allowed in the backyard alone starting at 3 when we got a fence put up but we moved a year later. Now we're in an apartment. She's allowed into the courtyard but has to ask to leave it.

[73349]

I voted 4, but that's assuming it's for short periods (i.e., a parent is at least looking out the window every 10 minutes or so). But kids will vary. Mine by 4 knew enough to stay away from the street and even younger than that would avoid strangers; he's loud; and even at 6.5 he's traipsing in pretty often to ask me to come and see anything unusual. He's probably as safe in our yard as I am.

 

If there were other kids out at the same time, my answer would be affected by the ages and personalities of those kids as well. (Will Joey next door come running to tell me if little Bobby is picking Mrs. Busybody's flowers? On the other hand, do I suspect it was Joey's idea in the first place, and he suggested it to Bobby? Etc.)

[Wheres Toto]

Would the expectation be that they stay in the yard (and that they would listen) or would they be allowed to roam the connected yards.

 

My kids were outside for a few minutes while I ran in for something younger but for sustained play out in our yard, probably 5 and 7.  Ds has impulse control issues, we have bears wandering through periodically, and no windows that you can look out and see them.  

 

But, then just a year and a half later we are letting ds walk down to the end of our street alone.   It's a dead end street, in a dead end neighborhood, we know all the neighbors, and he basically walks down and walks back.  Dh is the one who allowed it first while I'm actually kind of wishy-washy on it.  There is no line-of-sight the whole way, very little at all with the trees covered in leaves, the river that is way below our yard is right by the road down there, the street dead ends into a "public" golf course and there's a bunch of swampy pond-like water traps right by the road, there are houses that were condemned after Sandi sitting empty full of moldy junk, and those bears are still a factor.  It's probably 1/4 mile to the end of our street.

[Carrie75]

I let my 18 month old wander around the backyard unsupervised every day. I leave the slider open and check on him every five minutes or so. Our back yard is gated with 6 ft. fences, there is no way for him to exit and it's fairly safe.

 

My older DSs ride their bikes, and walk the dogs, ect around the neighborhood all the time. I wouldn't feel comfortable with them out on the main road but the streets with the houses is fine. They are 8.

[ErinE]

I said 5, but that's monitoring constantly.

 

By 6 the kids could leave our yard with permission and go one or two houses over. By 7, they had the run of our neighborhood, but we lived in a small community.

[ErinE]

I heard of a mom being handcuffed the other day for letting her 7yo walk a half mile to the park in a nice neighborhood. And then some news commentator talked about it like that was the epitome of careless, loveless parenting. I find this trend (toward criminalizing normal childhood activity) to be very disturbing.

Absolutely. A friend said it best: it may not be something I, as a parent, would do, but I don't think it's outside the bounds of acceptable behavior.

 

From news reports, the kid had a cell phone and ran away when strangers approached him. He did what he was supposed to do.

[MinivanMom]

I let my 2-yr-old play in our fenced backyard with older siblings.

 

I have let my 3-4-yr-olds play in our fenced backyard alone.

 

I let my 5-yr-old and up kids play in the front yard with siblings (never alone).

 

I would like to let my older children walk to our neighborhood park (100 yds away) on their own to play, but I'm afraid of being reported by neighbors. That probably sounds paranoid, but my kids are all small of their age and I have lots of affluent busybody neighbors. I have literally had women pull over in their cars at our neighborhood park to ask my kids if they were alone & if they needed help (um, hi, I'm the mom and I'm standing right here). I live in a very nice, quiet, upscale neighborhood, and I hate feeling like I can't let my kids run and play the way I did as a child.

[Gentlemommy]

If I lived on acreage, with no nosy neighbors? 3 years old.

Since I live in a suburban neighborhood and people these days are CPS happy, 8.

 

I sent my ***9*** year old out the other morning to walk the dogs. She stayed on the sidewalk. The dogs are chihuahuas, weighing 5 pounds, so it's not like they'd pull her down. It was about 7:30 am. I had a neighbor TEXT ME AND TURN AROUND (he was on his way to work) TO ESCORT HER HOME. No, he isn't creepy or anything, he just wanted to make sure she got home ok. Oh, and our neighborhood has a total of ***3*** streets. THREE. There are no more than 50 houses in it, plenty of families.

It's so insanely frustrating. Seriously. I can remember going all over our neighborhood (not gated, or nice at all) as a young elementary aged kid. We'd go to the creek, lake, through the forest....we didn't even have sidewalks, we just rode our bikes in the street.

 

How on earth are we supposed to teach our kids responsibility, give them freedom, and allow them to mature???? Oh, right, by giving them sexy clothing, tons of electronics with unsupervised internet access, and racy novels in elementary. Sheesh.

[Petrichor]

 

 

I heard of a mom being handcuffed the other day for letting her 7yo walk a half mile to the park in a nice neighborhood.  And then some news commentator talked about it like that was the epitome of careless, loveless parenting.  I find this trend (toward criminalizing normal childhood activity) to be very disturbing.

 

That's what I was thinking about. It feels like things are getting so ridiculous with, as you stated, the criminalization of normal childhood activity. 

 

We live in a nice community. The houses are very close together but there are no defined backyards (more like condos actually). The best place to play nearby is around on the other side of the houses, so I can't see DS5 most of the time if I let him go there. In this age of calling CPS at the drop of the hat, I'd glad to see that letting a 5 year old play outside by himself isn't something that would concern most people.

[Lisbeth]

Are these ages written into local law? For example, at what age is it legal to leave a child home alone? Does it correspond to the age to leave them outside or walking a mile away alone? Is it safer to leave them home alone or to let them walk a mile away to a public park alone?

[Tiramisu]

I answered four but I was thinking of our circumstances of a six foot fence, safe suburban area, very familiar neighbors, and a glass door opening on the backyard.

 

My 8 yo is still not allowed unsupervised in the front yard for more than a few minutes if she's alone, that would correspond to the OP's situation. I have front windows that let me see in the front yard and she is not a wanderer so I feel pretty safe but not for extended periods.

[MotherGoose]

I voted 3, but that's in my home, where it's rural and there are no cars/risks from people. I wouldn't trust anyone under 5 or so to stay away from traffic, and that depends on the child. Some are more careful than others. At 3, I knew she wouldn't eat something she wasn't supposed to or play with snakes, and the worst thing that would happen was a skinned knee. It REALLY depends on the child. If you have a crazy climber that loves snakes, then you couldn't trust them at 3. If you have a 5 year old that wants to walk around and play pretend away from the street, you can trust her sooner than 5 year olds who want to play ball (and chase ball into the street when they aren't thinking). My 6 and 3 year olds did decide that it would be fun to "paint" with red and green jalapeno peppers in the garden even though mom told them not to touch the peppers...they won't do that again! ;)

[Desert Rat]

My oldest was 8, youngest 5 when I started letting them play out front alone. I live on a small cul-de-sac. I usually left the door slightly open so I could hear them though. 

[Catwoman]

I don't think there's a general answer to a question like that.

 

Every child is different and every neighborhood is different.

 

What I would do has no relevance whatsoever to what anyone else should do -- even if we lived in the exact same neighborhood.

[swellmomma]

Well I allow my 6 yr old to play outside alone But I do not consider her unsupervised.  I have the windows open and as I putter around here getting things done or teaching the olders I am checking out the windows, constantly listening to her, I go out every 15-20 minutes to talk to her and check in.  I still consider that supervised even if I am not right out there with her.  Now if we were in the city I would be out with her like I was with my bigs at that age, but here in a tiny village, meh, she's fine.  99% of the time ds10 is following out about 20 minutes after I send her out as he finishes with school or chores so then she is not alone at all, or she walks down the block to call on a friend.  I don't allow toddlers to be out alone.  Her turning 6 was the magic invented milestone to be allowed that, mostly because she wanted something that was a rule she got on her birthday like ds10 got for his (new freedoms hitting double digits, she figured she needed new freedoms being a schoolager)

[Grover]

I can't imagine this no fences thing.

 

 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I voted 8 but with an average neurotypical kid I'd think 5 is okay.

[Carrie12345]

I voted 5, but it's a rough estimate.  My 3.5yo sometimes gets forgotten by his siblings outside. The only reason that worries me is because my kids haven't had any decent fear of wildlife, and I can picture him trying to befriend a bear cub. :svengo:

[imagine.more]

I have allowed my son to play outside without me since age 4. I peeked out at him regularly and usually keep a window open so I can also hear him. He's 6 now and is allowed to roam as far as the sidewalk with his scooter or can go to the neighbors with his big sister (12). I still keep the blinds open and window cracked so I guess he is supervised but I'm not out there with him. My soon-to-be-4 year old is less reliable, but when he turns 4 I'll happily let him play outside in the yard with his brother with me keeping a close eye from the window. If we get a fence I'd probably check on him a lot less obsessively :) 

 

I think any neurotypical child should be able to play outside alone by 5 or so with or without a fence, providing an adult is within hearing distance and can peek out at them occasionally. I want my kids to have the same kind of childhood we had. My DH has fantastic parents, very involved, and they let him ride his bike across town (Watertown, WI) to his friends' house at 6. He was roaming the yard eating rhubarb and blueberries at 3. My mom was considered crazy overprotective but even we were playing outside alone at 5 and riding around the neighborhood on our own by age 8. 

[a27mom]

I let my 2 y/o out in our backyard alone. I did look out the window at her every few minutes though. She was certainly allowed to play out there when she was 3. Now at 5 and 7 they can go anywhere on our property. I do look out the window occasionally, but not because I am particularly concerned. I live in a semi-rural area, no fence. My daughters are pretty obedient and cautious though.

[Trish]

Take your age, divide by the number of known sex offenders in a two-mile radius, and that's the age.

[SKL]

Is fences a cultural thing?  I've never lived in a home with a fence....

 

I told my kids at 1.5 that they must not go past points x, y, and z without permission.  I gave them time outs until they learned that it wasn't worth it.  They were really easy kids, though.

[NoseInABook]

I've just now started allowing mine to play outside when I am not out there at 6, 5, 4, and 2. They are closer to 7, 6, 5, and 3, birthdays are all coming up quickly. However, when they're outside they are as a group and bare minimum two have to be out there together. The windows and the front door are open so I can see and hear them wherever they are. I also check on them every, oh, 10 minutes but honestly someone is always talking to me through the window if I'm inside doing chores or taking care of the baby. I get paranoid sometimes because you don't often see kids playing like this even though we live in a neighborhood jam packed with kids.

[fdrinca]

I've been struggling with this issue, and the recent arrests only make it even more confusing.

 

We have a well-fenced backyard. I'd let my littlest ones (then 2, 4 and 5) play in the back while I did housework. They mostly dug holes. I'd check on the every so often. It seemed very natural and safe.

 

When we moved to our new house two years ago, I was surprised that a few families allowed their young kids to wander. (Well, after meeting the families, I wasn't surprised exactly.) The pack included two 4 year olds. I knew my daughter was too young to play in our (suburban, quiet, safe) streets by herself, so I would watch my kids, and by default four other kids, every afternoon. This ended quickly. 

 

I will let my now 6 and 7 year old play outside, even as that means lots of running in the street. I keep an eye on them. On one hand, it feels pretty natural. On the other, it feels kind of...feral? I know that I did exactly the same thing as a kid, but the difference was all of the kids in the neighborhood were out. Now, it's just the ones whose parents in general provide lax supervision and us, the weird homeschoolers on the block.

 

Our neighborhood school is "one right turn" away from our house. It's about a 5 minute bike ride, uphill. (It's about 30 seconds downhill...) I routinely send the older kids ahead on their bikes as their little brother can't quite motor up the hill as quickly as they can. I send them home ahead of us, too, because they know how to take the hill with speed. I wondered if they were old enough to handle riding by themselves, but then I remembered that I could ride my entire neighborhood at that age. 

 

My husband sometimes asks if something we do is "safe." (Specifically, in this case, was it "safe" for the kids to ride on our quiet, neighborhood streets by themselves.) Well, yes. Also, no. Nothing is safe. My watching the kids as they rode their bikes might prevent them from their own error (passing through a stop sign), but it wouldn't stop a reckless, texting driver from running a stop sign and hitting them. I can't help but feel that I'd be in danger of arrest if my not-directly-supervised kids were struck by a careless driver. 

[kiwik]

Are these ages written into local law? For example, at what age is it legal to leave a child home alone? Does it correspond to the age to leave them outside or walking a mile away alone? Is it safer to leave them home alone or to let them walk a mile away to a public park alone?

Here the home alone age is 14. Most kids walk to school alone before that. Ds7 is probably old enough to walk to school but is too scatter brained. Ds5 could probably walk safely but is too young. I do leave my kids home alone long enough to walk to the letterbox or pop to the neighbours though and will leave them in the car outside a shop (not in a supermarket carpark just outside a local dairy). I just started letting them play in the grounds of the school opposite alone (for 10 mins or so) as long as they stay where i can see them from the kitchen. They have a friend they plkay with there who has been riding his bike round unsupervised since about 5.5 and I've never seen his mother. That i think is a bit much. Ds7 has a friend who walks hone from school by himself but hangs round at school as long as possible first - once again doubtful about that.

 

The kids play in the front yard or the shared drive with the neighbours kids but we can all daily see and hear them.

[Grover]

Here the home alone age is 14.

 

this isn't actually correct... alone in gharge of other children is 14.  Home alone is unspecified but based on "adequate provision" for their safety.  Which is very open to interpretation.

[Elfknitter.#]

Take your age, divide by the number of known sex offenders in a two-mile radius, and that's the age.

:confused:

[bettyandbob]

Take your age, divide by the number of known sex offenders in a two-mile radius, and that's the age.

You realize that with this math equation if there are no known sex offenders then your child can never go out, but with very high numbers you can leave an infant out alone.

 

Irrational thought processes don't help in making logical evaluations.

[*Lulu*]

It really is not something you can give hard and fast rules for.

 

I let my oldest play outside on the porch (that had gates that latched) with the dog at 2 years old. I would check from time to time, but he would play for hours. The key was a secure area and a dog that barked if anyone came near.

 

I let oldest play outside in a fenced yard unsupervised at age 5. Again, with the dog.

 

The younger children were allowed to play unsupervised in the yard at much younger ages because they were with an older sibling.

 

I wouldn't bat an eye if I saw a child playing unsupervised in a yard. If I was a neighbor and realized a very young child was playing outside unsupervised for a long period of time I might be concerned. But unless I saw an imminent threat to the child, it would not cross my mind to get involved.

[lailasmum]

Unsupervised in my enclosed back garden from about 4 or 5 but out the front of the house in the quiet cul de sac we live on or in the play area ( a small piece of waste land near by)  about 8. My son is 6 and not responsible enough to be out on his own any time soon but my 10 year old is very sensible and has being riding her bike up and down the road and playing unsupervised but close to the house for a while.

 

[Luanne]

This really depends on the child.  My daughter was impulsive and would not think before just taking off.  I think I wouldn't have let her do this until age 10.  Before that, I couldn't really trust that she would be where she said she was.  She has ADHD.