Do you miss your "me" time? (For those who had kids in school at one point)

[beth83]

I have quite a few friends who are on the fence with homeschooling.  I love that it is becoming more mainstream and approachable for many people.

 

I can answer most questions and relate to many people, but when people ask about losing their "me" time, I am not quite sure what to tell them.  I never had the "me" time to lose, so I don't see it as being a hard transition.  We have quiet time every day, where we can all have some alone time.  I mean, I often get stressed running errands with all my kids (4), but I feel it is a blessing in a way to not know what long stretches of free time, every single day, would feel like.  Freeing, I'm sure.

 

For those of you who had kids in school previously, was it a hard transition to pull them out and be with them full time?

 

 

[Arcadia]

Yes. Hubby and I are paying a whole lot more for parents night out and other fun classes so that I can have back some "me" time. A few months after we kept our boys home, my weight lost and insomnia has worsen to an unhealthy level. It was cough up the money for class or cough up the money for potential depression.

Some people may not need "me" time and only need quiet time. I fall under the category of people who need time away from my kids for my emotional recharging. (ETA: as in me alone time. Not with other moms. Not couple time)

What I tell people I know who ask is that budget for some outside drop off classes or babysitters so that if you need that "me" time, you won't feel bad spending that money. Or that their hubby is going to be able to take their kids off so that mom gets her "me" time.

For christmas break, my kids went to a 1 week day camp costing us over $1k. It gave me 5 relaxing days to do whatever I want for myself. This summer they will be at some robotics camps so I'll have my "me" time.

 

ETA:

My boys are still at the climbing furniture and trees if they are outdoors stage :lol:  Lots of cuts and bruises has not deterred them.

 

ETA:

My mom came over and stayed with me to help when my kids were babies and toddlers.  They climb out of cribs, strollers, demolish baby gates and what have you :)

[OneStepAtATime]

In some ways yes and some ways no.  We had so little time as a family while they were in school.  Evenings were filled with tons of homework and studying for tests and working on projects, all of it rushed, none of it to mastery or even a competent level, just rushing through one thing and another.  The kids were exhausted, stressed and had very little down time themselves.  During the day I was taking care of personal finances, the family business, the housework, and actually prepping the school materials for the kids so when they got home we could get through the studying, etc. relatively quickly or we would be at it til midnight.

 

I was honestly really scared about this.  I kept thinking that I was already overloaded and fighting for me time.  Bringing them home seemed just crazy.  It didn't turn out to be nearly as big an issue as I had anticipated, though.  In fact, it was a tremendous relief.  Bringing them home meant we could get through school mostly in the morning and I scheduled an hour every afternoon where they went to their rooms to listen to an audio book or music or play an educational video game or whatever while I had "me" time.  Afternoons were for extracurriculars or playing games or doing art projects, etc.  Evenings then were filled with a calm dinner, walking the dog, talking, playing a board game, etc.  The let up of all that stress was huge.  Being able to relax was wonderful.   And having that one hour each afternoon of "me" time was perfect because I was no longer stressing out so much in the evenings.  

 

Unfortunately, our schedule got a bit mucked up this year but I am hoping to get back to that for this next year.

 

I think for a lot of moms that didn't have that much they HAD to do during the day while the kids are at school or for parents that are very introverted it can be a bit of a shock and challenging to adjust to.  The main thing, IMHO, would be to make certain when they first start that they schedule that "me" time, make it a MUST (although challenging to do while homeschooling youngers and lots of kids), and try not to overschedule everything else when they first start.  Take things slow and introduce material slowly.  Also, they need to be willing to be more proactive in reaching out to other homeschooling adults to try to create adult friendships so they have someone to hang out with at least a couple of times a month without kids, if at all possible, KWIM?

 

And definitely be very proactive from the very beginning with finding ways to get out of the house without the kids at least a few times a month, as well as having some down time IN your home without the kids.  If "me" time is really important, then make it a real priority and don't feel guilty about it.  The mental health of the homeschooling parent is hugely important for long term homeschooling success, IMHO.

[JustEm]

My kids have never been in school but my oldest is only 5 and I desperately miss my "me" from before he was born. I worked and went to school but still had time to myself. Right now I'm beyond depressed because I need to be away from my children in orderr to emotionally decompress and that is not happening. We can't afford to pay a babysitter during the week to let me get some down time. Dh works over 50 hours/week, 6 days a week.if I'm not with my kids I'm with my dh trying to keep are marriage healthy. I'm on the verge of a mental break down because of how stressed I am without time to myself but don't really know how to accomplish it.

 

Not everyone needs me time but for those who do it needs to be serious consideration before jumping into home schooling. Making a plan for how mom still gets me time before pulling kids out of school is important. And the amount of time everyone needs will be different.

[guilfordlake]

 

 

For those of you who had kids in school previously, was it a hard transition to pull them out and be with them full time?

 

My children went to ps through 3rd and 1st grades before we brought them home.  Yes, it was an adjustment for all of us, being together all the time, but daily quiet time helps with that.  But losing "me time" wasn't really an issue for me.  When they were in school all day long, I very much felt a void in my life that didn't go away until we started homeschooling.  It's hard to put into words, but for me, I feel that homeschooling my children is something I am meant to do, so bringing them home was actually a good thing for me.  Because I am doing what I feel I'm supposed to be doing, it didn't make for a difficult transition.  I guess if one doesn't want to be homeschooling, it might be very different.

 

Jennifer

[boscopup]

My husband takes the kids to run errands and eat lunch every Saturday. I get me time then. I also make my own time in the morning and after the kids go to bed. And once about every 6-8 weeks, hubby takes the kids on an overnight trip, leaving me home to rest and relax. :)

 

I wouldn't have had me time until this fall if I'd sent the kids to school, as mine are just now all school age. So when my oldest was in school, I had less help with the little at home kids. As the kids get older, I find I need less me time, because I'm not having to be "always on" like I did with babies and toddlers. My 10 year old has gotten to the point where I wouldn't even notice he's here. He'll sit in his room playing or reading.

 

I'm an introvert, so yes, I need me time, but I've also worked to make that happen, even if it's just a couple hours at night after the kids go to bed.

[OneStepAtATime]

My kids have never been in school but my oldest is only 5 and I desperately miss my "me" from before he was born. I worked and went to school but still had time to myself. Right now I'm beyond depressed because I need to be away from my children in orderr to emotionally decompress and that is not happening. We can't afford to pay a babysitter during the week to let me get some down time. Dh works over 50 hours/week, 6 days a week.if I'm not with my kids I'm with my dh trying to keep are marriage healthy. I'm on the verge of a mental break down because of how stressed I am without time to myself but don't really know how to accomplish it.

 

Not everyone needs me time but for those who do it needs to be serious consideration before jumping into home schooling. Making a plan for how mom still gets me time before pulling kids out of school is important. And the amount of time everyone needs will be different.

 

I agree.  And hugs! 

[momacacia]

Absolutely yes! DH and I were just talking about this. Other moms complain about summer, I LOVE it!! Even thigh we school through summer , there are lighter weeks for VBS and camps and it's just "ahhhh." I realize, this is just a taste of it they were in school! Summer I great! They leave for a few hours, the house is quiet or I only have baby around and they get nice refreshed Mommy when I pick them up.

[regentrude]

I work. That's "me" time. I made it a condition for consenting to homeschooling that I would not have to quit my job. My kids were in school until 5th grade. I did not have a hard time with the transition to having them home all day.

 

Of course, when the kids get older, you get a lot of free time during the day as well, because you don't have to be constantly "on".

[regentrude]

The hardest time to get "me time" was when they were babies and toddlers.  They would not have been in school anyways.  But now?  Not a problem.

 

Yes, this exactly.

[FO4UR]

I've HSed from the start and I miss "me time" even though I don't really know what I'm missing.  I don't want to sit and veg.  I don't want a hobby.  I want meaningful work, lasting work...work that is quiet (LOL) and creative.  I'm feeling a pull to build a career.

 

 

At the same time, PS isn't the best option for us.  Believe you me!!!! I've tried to rationalize and justify a way to get 1 or 2 of my dc in school. It just doesn't fit. I think I just need to keep my eyes on the goal and work to get them ready for outsourcing much ages 15-18. I can hold out until then.  (We have a CC in town. I'm already daydreaming about their future schedule OUT of the house...for their benefit as much as mine.)

 

Homeschooling an "only" (my little Miracle Baby) will seem like a breeze after graduating my Three Musketeers!!!!  I love them!  Dearly!  They are simply tooooooo smart for their own good! :lol:

 

 

[Mandylubug]

My kiddos are starting to stay home alone for small amounts of time. For the past two weeks DH and I have grocery shopped and ate out alone...kids texting me the entire time. It was great! I even brushed my hair those days :p

[momee]

I wouldn't miss the opportunity to tell her what a blessing it is and how worth that time alone pouring into her kids would be.  Who wouldn't like more time to themselves? lol  What a benefit though, she will be giving them in doing so.

 

I ended up spending less time homeschooling than I was volunteering in my son's yucky school system trying to help kids learn to read.  I figured I could spend less time at the brick and mortar building and challenge my own child to read better than he currently was.  It crossed my mind often what I would be giving up but I moved past that and on to his needs.

 

Now that he is gone from the nest :) happens very fast btw, I don't regret the time I had to train him not only for his schoolwork but for life skills.  His teen years were tough on us both and there were many, many days I longed for him to be anywhere but here. Now that he's gone I sure do wish I could have those days back.  Crazy, isn't it?  I am so thankful I homeschooled him and that his dad and I had so much of an impact on his life.  HE now says, "I can't imagine how badly I would have turned out if I went there".  I had great guilt anywhere but here would be better for him.  That's a wonderful thing to hear really - that what we sacrificed in alone time, ease, financially and peace wise, was soo worth it to him.  Of course it's taken a while for him to say that but still.

 

As far as longing for time to myself, I still do.

 

Eleven years in and I'm still wondering what it must be like to say bye to kids at 7:05 am and not see them again until 3:45.  But I wonder in a different way, like how much I'd miss not being with them - and how much they'd miss by being plugged into a system like public school.

[Arcadia]

I've HSed from the start and I miss "me time" even though I don't really know what I'm missing.  I don't want to sit and veg.  I don't want a hobby.  I want meaningful work, lasting work...work that is quiet (LOL) and creative.  I'm feeling a pull to build a career.

 

A friend went from being a teacher to being a SAHM to working as a blogger.  The income isn't enough but it gives her a sense of well being for the time being.  Another went from journalist to freelance sub-editor and back to working as a journalist now that her kids are much older.

I don't feel a need for a career but I do miss the adrenaline from working on fast turnkey projects.

[Arcadia]

. I'm on the verge of a mental break down because of how stressed I am without time to myself but don't really know how to accomplish it.

 

When my boys were younger,  First 5 California had free parenting programs for parents with any kid 5 or younger.  They provided free childcare as well.  So for 3 hours, I get to pick up parenting tips, have free snacks and my kids were under the watchful eye of the childcare providers in a toddler-safe room.   The YMCA here also gives generous fee waivers on a needs basis.

 

I hope something free and good locally turns up for you. :grouphug:

[Reefgazer]

I had two kids in school  who are currently homeschooling and my 'me' time has decreased a lot.  I don't mind it, because I was somewhat wasting my time anyway.  Not only that, but I work part-time outside the home in a job I love, which is 'me' time to me.  Now that my kids are getting older, they are also gaining independence and I can leave them at home for an hour or two at a time while I go to lunch, run errands, etc...  So I don't miss me time.

 

ETA:  I am running them around more than I did when they were in public school, however, because we have activities that require me to drive them about.  But the activities are in the daytime instead of weekends or evenings where they used to be.  So, same amount of driving, but now it is daytime driving and DH is not available to split the driving.

[Reefgazer]

Yes, this!  You do lose me time in some ways, but it's almost a welcome relief because you have really nice, relaxed, unstressed family time.  And I get to interact with my kids more.  Not only that, I save time shuttling the kids between home and school, and I am not constantly volunteering or running out to the store for last-minute school supplies.

In some ways yes and some ways no.  We had so little time as a family while they were in school.  Evenings were filled with tons of homework and studying for tests and working on projects, all of it rushed, none of it to mastery or even a competent level, just rushing through one thing and another.  The kids were exhausted, stressed and had very little down time themselves.  During the day I was taking care of personal finances, the family business, the housework, and actually prepping the school materials for the kids so when they got home we could get through the studying, etc. relatively quickly or we would be at it til midnight.

 

I was honestly really scared about this.  I kept thinking that I was already overloaded and fighting for me time.  Bringing them home seemed just crazy.  It didn't turn out to be nearly as big an issue as I had anticipated, though.  In fact, it was a tremendous relief.  Bringing them home meant we could get through school mostly in the morning and I scheduled an hour every afternoon where they went to their rooms to listen to an audio book or music or play an educational video game or whatever while I had "me" time.  Afternoons were for extracurriculars or playing games or doing art projects, etc.  Evenings then were filled with a calm dinner, walking the dog, talking, playing a board game, etc.  The let up of all that stress was huge.  Being able to relax was wonderful.   And having that one hour each afternoon of "me" time was perfect because I was no longer stressing out so much in the evenings.  

 

Unfortunately, our schedule got a bit mucked up this year but I am hoping to get back to that for this next year.

 

I think for a lot of moms that didn't have that much they HAD to do during the day while the kids are at school or for parents that are very introverted it can be a bit of a shock and challenging to adjust to.  The main thing, IMHO, would be to make certain when they first start that they schedule that "me" time, make it a MUST (although challenging to do while homeschooling youngers and lots of kids), and try not to overschedule everything else when they first start.  Take things slow and introduce material slowly.  Also, they need to be willing to be more proactive in reaching out to other homeschooling adults to try to create adult friendships so they have someone to hang out with at least a couple of times a month without kids, if at all possible, KWIM?

 

And definitely be very proactive from the very beginning with finding ways to get out of the house without the kids at least a few times a month, as well as having some down time IN your home without the kids.  If "me" time is really important, then make it a real priority and don't feel guilty about it.  The mental health of the homeschooling parent is hugely important for long term homeschooling success, IMHO.

 

[5LittleMonkeys]

Mine have been in ps and homeschooled.  I don't miss me time because I still get it.  When I feel the need for a couple hours of uninterrupted, quite time I tell the kids that I'm not to be disturbed and they all go to their rooms and entertain themselves. Even the 5 year old can find something to do or the older kids make sure to occupy her so that she doesn't immediately come to me if she wants something.   Now, I do have to threaten death upon those who bother me ... they won't just naturally leave me alone for 2 hours.  I'll often hear someone call out..."Someone grab T, she's about to wake the dragon!"  Not that I'm sleeping, but they find that analogy comparing my wraith to that of a fire breathing dragon funny.   :lol:

 

Sometimes I'm actually productive but sometimes I just sit and stair at the wall. :)

 

 

[Ad astra]

I had had a lot of "me" time when my kids were a baby and a toddler because full day public & private childcare (day cares & preschools) for all 0 to 5 aged kids (whether mom is working or not) is free of charge in my home country. Babysitters are also partially subsidized by government, so it's very cheap to hire a help. This national childcare support system has been enacted in the recent years since the country's birth rate has fallen into the lowest in the world.

 

Here, the "me" time happens only during the kids' nap time or after their bed time. Very little... can't even find time to go exercise or just sit down and read my books. Schools in this city are either ripping off or scaring us. This transition to a total lack of support system has been really painful and challenging for me. However, I have somehow gotten used to having my kids around me 24/7 and started to see the huge benefits of keeping them at home and consider homeschooling.

[sbgrace]

I stay up late (too late) to have time to myself.

 

I suspect maybe introverts have more trouble with this issue, but that's purely speculation.

[ocelotmom]

I think people are more adaptable than they give themselves credit for.

 

I suspect that, if I regularly got "Me" time, I'd think I couldn't possibly give it up. I'm very introverted, and it was definitely a huge adjustment when my first was born. My job gets me time away from the kids and time for adult conversation with people other than DH, and is helpful with maintaining sanity, but definitely not "Me" time. It still works out overall.

 

Kids do stuff. Even with 4 of them, including a 3 year old and a newborn, I get time to do things that mentally recharge me while they're otherwise occupied. 

[umsami]

I never really had time to myself.  I've always had one young kid around.  I dream of having actual 
me time.  DH does not provide any support.    It was a joy to discover our YMCA had two hours of child care, but then DS3, screamed so much they had to come get me.

 

I'm thinking about sending them all to school next year so I can have a break…if only for a year.

 

It's definitely something to consider.

[Mandy in TN]

Huh- I suppose it depends on what they mean by me time.

 

If they are accustomed to having nothing that they must do between when the kids leave and come back, and they want to figure out how to homeschool and still have time to go to the spa weekly and Pilates three times a each week, and get their nails done weekly and go every four weeks to the salon for several hours to have their hair done and have a weekly afternoon outing with just their friends, then I would be honest and tell them that this would be difficult to pull off.

 

If it is just wanting a little quiet time in day, then I would help them brainstorm.

 

I know there is a lot in between these two and I would try to treat each unique person and unique situation as unique, but I do not feel any need to sell homeschooling to other families.

Mandy

[Arcadia]

I can answer most questions and relate to many people, but when people ask about losing their "me" time, I am not quite sure what to tell them.  

 

It depends so much on the ages, temperament of their kids and also what they are now doing in their "me" time.   For my WAHM neighbors who work mostly from home, that means that some of them now hire au pair annually to look after their kids while they work. For my SAHM neighbors that like to chat without their kids, it means that they either find opportunities while their kids are at outside classes (sports/arts/academics) or they are active in moms night outs and moms only book clubs. For moms who prefer to do grocery and run errands without their kids, their spouses "take over" at night and on weekends. 

Everyone have different needs and different support systems available. I don't think there is anything to "tell" them.

[EmilyGF]

I don't, just because I never had any. My kids never went to school. 

 

HOWEVER, we started German Saturday School for 3 hours a week this past year. I keep my toddler with me, but I love it. I struggled with some minor depression the previous winter, and was shocked to have none this winter. I run all my errands with my toddler during the kids' school time (car repair, grocery shopping, shoe shopping, library, etc) and then treat myself to a latte if I finish early. It was a highlight of my week. I'm looking forward to the fall, though I'm loving all the things we do as a family on Saturdays now. 

 

My husband loves spending time together as a family, or with kids one-on-one, but really doesn't like taking all the kids places by himself.

 

Emily

[guilfordlake]

After reading some of the other replies, I had to come back to clarify.  Yes, there are days where I would give just about anything to have 2 hours of silence with no one else in the house with me.  But I don't at all miss the days where they were gone 7 hours a day, 5 days a week.  That was way more me time than *I* needed.  

 

Jennifer

[Incognito]

For me, the being on call 24/7 is what gets taxing.  It isn't that I don't get time to myself in the day or on weekends sometimes, it is that there is nearly always the chance that someone will want something of me and I will be interrupted.

 

I have toyed with sending the kids to school purely to get this sort of a break - actually, I have said it would almost work just to send the toddler to school - but haven't done it yet and probably really can't in the near future. 

 

I agree with a person upthread who said to budget for it.  We never did, and now we've been homeschooling for a few years and I really feel the burn, but DH doesn't see it fitting in our budget, so I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[Guest]

I get me time.  My kids have never gone to school.

 

The hardest time to get "me time" was when they were babies and toddlers.  They would not have been in school anyways.  But now?  Not a problem.

This was my first thought. I am extremely introverted and need alone time to decompress and re-energize. Homeschooling does not really cause a problem for me, though. My dd is also introverted, but my ds is extremely extroverted. They are both very good about going off and playing by themselves when I don't need them or we're not schooling or hanging out. So, my initial thought was if they're school age, they're old enough to go play. If they're not, they'd be home with you anyway. But, I appreciate the people who have brought other points-of-view to the table; since I like to be home, I didn't even consider this:

 

Huh- I suppose it depends on what they mean by me time.

 

If they are accustomed to having nothing that they must do between when the kids leave and come back, and they want to figure out how to homeschool and still have time to go to the spa weekly and Pilates three times a each week, and get their nails done weekly and go every four weeks to the salon for several hours to have their hair done and have a weekly afternoon outing with just their friends, then I would be honest and tell them that this would be difficult to pull off.

 

If it is just wanting a little quiet time in day, then I would help them brainstorm.

 

I know there is a lot in between these two and I would try to treat each unique person and unique situation as unique, but I do not feel any need to sell homeschooling to other families.

Mandy

:iagree: to the bolded; it is possible, I believe.

[LLMom]

My kids have never been in school but my oldest is only 5 and I desperately miss my "me" from before he was born. I worked and went to school but still had time to myself. Right now I'm beyond depressed because I need to be away from my children in orderr to emotionally decompress and that is not happening. We can't afford to pay a babysitter during the week to let me get some down time. Dh works over 50 hours/week, 6 days a week.if I'm not with my kids I'm with my dh trying to keep are marriage healthy. I'm on the verge of a mental break down because of how stressed I am without time to myself but don't really know how to accomplish it.

 

Not everyone needs me time but for those who do it needs to be serious consideration before jumping into home schooling. Making a plan for how mom still gets me time before pulling kids out of school is important. And the amount of time everyone needs will be different.

 

I think this is something people considering homeschooling need to know.  Some people need time away from their children to recharge.  Thank you for admitting this.  It took me too long to realize I needed time away.  I played mommy martyr too long. 

[texasmama]

Yes, it was hard at first, but I adjusted after a few months.  I still love me just a little bit of peace and quiet and miss that.  My 8 year old's mouth does not have an "off" button.  :)

[jenslp]

Yes...absolutely...miss it all the time!!!

[Lori D.]

I need to be away from my children in orderr to emotionally decompress and that is not happening. We can't afford to pay a babysitter during the week to let me get some down time. Dh works over 50 hours/week, 6 days a week.

 

:grouphug:  Sympathy! I remember those stressful days with very high-need young ones and needing to "not be needed"  and having a hard time finding a way of making that happen. :(

 

 

Ideas for right now:

1. Start and enforce 1 hour after lunch quiet time -- everyone on their own bed, or in their own special space/on a blanket each in a different room,  and each can nap, look at books, listen to music or book on tape or have a quiet toy or activity or busy-bag of safe items. You may need to work up from 10 minutes, and add a few minutes a day to get to an hour to get everyone into this habit, but WAY worth it for YOU! See these to help you get started: "Calm the Chaos: Using Quiet Times Throughout the Day"; "The Importance of Quiet Time"; Discovery Quiet Time (probably for starting at age 5)

 

2. Once a day for 1 hour, put in an educational video tape, or stream a video -- it's not going to ruin your children to watch TV for one hour, and esp. if it's things like There Goes a Bulldozer, Mr. Rogers, Leap Frog DVDs, Let's See How They Grow series, early Sesame Street episodes...

 

That gives you 2 hours of quiet time in your home at no cost to help as decompression time for you, esp. if you do those back-to-back… :)

 

 

Ideas to start looking into once you have the above 2 ideas implemented

- trade day care with a friend who has similar-aged children; one day a week she takes all of yours for 3 hours, and another day a week you take all of hers for 3 hours

- homeschooler (or private school, or other) reliable teen who would like to volunteer once a week for 2-3 hours, and count the hours towards community service

- able-bodied retired person you know from your church, neighborhood or other, who would be willing to "be grandma" once a week for 2-3 hours

- some churches offer a weekly "mom's morning out" -- free care of the kiddos for 2 hours while you rest, run errands, or get your "me time"

- contact the homeschool groups in your area and ask for advice and references -- there may be a mom like me whose children have graduated but who would dearly LOVE to come alongside once a week and "homeschool" another mom's young ones

 

 

Right now I'm beyond depressed because I need to be away from my children in orderr to emotionally decompress and that is not happening.

 

The next step: self-care

Absolutely critical that you are treating yourself well in this stage of life where your little ones are demanding so much:

- vitamins / supplements if needed

- rest / enough sleep

- good nutrition -- no sugars, sodas, or junk foods that leave you feeling worse than before consuming

- regular aerobic exercise (30-45 min/day, at least 3x/week) -- DH can watch kiddos when he's home to help; yes, he works 50+ hours/week, 6 days/week at his job -- Don't forget that  YOU are working 70+ hours a week (10 hours a day/7 days a week) at YOUR job of mom, wife, homemaker -- you need HIS support of YOU to make the marriage work just as much as he needs your support to make the marriage work

- at the least, daily put the kids in a double stroller/backpack and walk as briskly around the neighborhood as you can for 30 minutes

- daily short meditation/prayer time

- throughout the day as needed: deep cleansing breaths, 1-2 minute relaxation techniques

 

 

 

We can't afford to pay a babysitter during the week to let me get some down time.

 

 

Finally, now that you have the emergency priorities in place, more research:

Is there anyway of re-prioritizing the budget to squeeze out $40-50 a month which could then be used. The biggies where people can often make changes to help reduce expenses (not saying ALL, or even any, will be feasible for your family, but having a starting point and reconsidering everything about how you spend really helps turn up areas that work for YOU :) ):

 

- reduce phone and internet plans, or go with a bundled cheaper rate, or go just with cell phones and cut the monthly land line cost, or...

- cut cable, Netflix, and streaming options -- check DVDs out of the library, read books, 

- reduce eating out

- eat more simply / reduce expensive convenience foods

- buy in bulk

- compare auto/home insurance plans

 

More tips on saving money, that you could then use towards weekly help for your "me time":

- Little Steps: 100 Tips for Saving Money for Those Just Getting Started

- 54 Ways for Saving Money

 

HUGS! And best wishes for finding what will help de-stress you! Take it one little step at a time and move towards mental health and a calmer de-stressed YOU! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[melmichigan]

It is an adjustment.  At the time I started homeschooling I had younger kids at home so it was actually a relief not to have to drag kids around or fit into some other schedule.

 

When my kids were younger the local YMCA was my refuge.  For 2 hours I could work out or swim while the kids were in child care.  They have financial aid if you can't afford it.

 

We have always had quiet time each day, starting with naps when they were younger to just quiet time now that they are older.

 

Summer is my big "me" time.  The older kids go to day camp for six weeks M-Th and I only have my youngest at home.  It's my time to decompress before we start the new school year.

 

[Luckymama]

(Background: we started homeschooling dd when she was in fifth grade. Her older siblings attended private high schools at that time--dd is our caboose baby.)

 

I absolutely mourned the loss of my "me" time when we started homeschooling! I had had five years with all the kids in school so I had a routine of volunteering, exercise, working on houses (we sold one and bought a foreclosure), and returning to grad school (sigh). And yes, I did meet friends for coffee and lunch a few times a month. I was able to spend lots of time that last year with my mom as she was fighting ovarian cancer.

 

The first year was a big adjustment.

 

I graduallly found more "me" time the third and fourth years (this past year). I was able to leave dd at home for a monthly coffee with my friends (we're been meeting since our college seniors were babies!). I could tell her that I was going to exercise or work outside for an hour...and trust that she would actually do schoolwork when I was out of sight :D

 

We're trying to figure out a routine or schedule for this coming ninth grade year, one that makes explicit the times we will get together for certain classes (chemistry, maths, AP Human Geography), when I will be available for discussion/help for other classes, and when I will not be available (so I can study, exercise, detox lol).

[Mom22ns]

It is interesting to see the responses here. I think they are as varied as we are as people. I do think when women tell you they are concerned about losing their "me time" it is a real concern and they need to be able to figure out how much time they need, what kind of time they need and if those needs can be realistically met while homeschooling.

 

For me... Did I miss my me time when we transitioned from public school to homeschool? Yes. I am an introvert and I missed having time alone. I also missed some of the activities that I had been doing during the school days and gave up because they weren't compatible, particularly teaching women's tae kwon do and self defense classes. 

 

That said, I definitely had more me time as a homeschooler of school age children then I did as a stay at home mom of preschoolers. It does get easier as the kids get older. Now I have more me time than I know what to do with :).

 

For me, the joys of the time I spent with my kids was more than worth the things I gave up to homeschool, but I recognize that trade off doesn't work for everyone. I think the women who have the hardest time are those who want or need to be out of the house a lot. It really is difficult to keep up with going to the gym daily, out to lunch, to the hair stylist, the tanning salon, shopping with friends, volunteer work, whatever it is you have used to fill your days. Many stay at home moms don't stay home at all. They drop their kids off for school and go until time to pick them back up. Then they come home, set the kids to homework, do a bit of housework, make dinner and voila the day is done. It would be a huge adjustment to go from this type of lifestyle to homeschooling. Homeschooling really does require spending some time at home. However, these parents may be the best at planning field trips and educational outings.

 

I guess my answer is, if you really want to homeschool, you can find a way to balance your need for me time. It will be an adjustment. You can do it. Whether it is quiet time alone in a room, a walk, a bike ride, a hot bath, a good book, a trip to the gym, or other outings, you can make it work. How much and what type of me time you need determines how difficult it will be to make it work and probably how difficult the transition will be, but it can be done.

 

[clarkacademy]

I took the two olders out of school and yes it was terribly hard at first. Everyone is way different so I am not judging just giving it from my perspective. At first I became a witch and I got really mean to everyone. I looked forward to their dad walking in the door so I could leave. The grocery store, the drug store even just a drive anything at all. Then my oldest daughter came to me in tears one night saying she wanted to go back to school so I would be happy to see her again. Broke my heart totally. So I started thinking these days won't last. The days will come when I am not so needed and reading board books and driving to gymnastics will end, it will all end so it was cowboy up time. So I learned to deal and take baths with books and just hang out with my kids. For years that's how it was today my baby is gonna be 10 next week, my oldest is 17 and the days of being all over me have come to a halt. Next week I am actually going on a vacation away from the them for a week and I am gonna miss them so much. This is a first for me. I have also been a single mom for the last 6 years to them as well. They will be having their very first visit with their dad without me. What have I gotten out of it? I have amazing relationships with all my kids. I never lost any moments by being gone and have seen everything because I have always been there. I am not saying that this is the way everyone should do it or if you send your kids to camp you are a bad mom I am just saying this is how I looked at it and it worked for me. I knew my me time would come back someday and it slowly has. Truthfully there are some days I would trade this for chasing toddlers, changing diapers, watching barney for the millionth time and reading chicka chicka boom boom one more time. These days will end and you will look around and say what a ride I wish I could do it again.

[PagesandFields]

I've never had kids in school...  but it was probably the single biggest hurdle for me to overcome.  I'm highly sensitive and absolutely need alone time for sanity...  My DH works 60-80 hour weeks right now.  So I'm basically functioning as a single mum.  And my children are not good at playing by themselves... arghh...

 

To answer your question?  When talking to other people there's really only one thing I can say that explains it.  

 

Yes it's incredibly hard.  But it would be harder, for me, to put my kids in school.  For all the personality reasons, philosophical reasons, all the reasons that are important to me.  That said... I think it's about balance and figuring out what works for each mama, or each family.  

 

In terms of how to make it work...  Mine are just now getting out of the baby/toddler stage.  I wake up whenever nobody else is awake (for a while this meant 3:30) or stay up when nobody is awake... then balance it by sleeping every minute possible on the weekends...  Different things work for different people... But there's almost always a solution to everything, it just takes trying things out, having faith in yourself, faith in a higher source (if you so believe), and persistence...

 

One of my favorite quotes from all my education reading is:

"mothers work wonders once they are convinced that wonders are demanded of them" - from Charlotte Mason

 

A happy mama is a happy family I think - most of the time...  I know my emotional tone sets the mood for the rest of the house...  That's why on my hardest emotional days everyone acts horrible!  :) So...  self-care is important, I think vital.  I also think that everything passes and if things are really really hard for a little while, it will pass soon enough.  Then they'll be moving out with suitcases in hand and I'll be trying not to cry because I'll have all the me time I want after that... 

 

To those mamas having a rough time... I've so been there.   And I still have days...  Know you're not alone.  

 

[lovinmomma]

This very question (OP) has been in my head as I prepare to bring home my child(ren) again. They are in PS now, but I used to HS. Additionally, when I HS'ed before I was a strictly SAHM and now I work and am the breadwinner for them home due to an injured spouse. I really appreciate this thread, actually, because more than anything it helped me to think through what will ease the transition back to home.

 

 

Yes. Hubby and I are paying a whole lot more for parents night out and other fun classes so that I can have back some "me" time. A few months after we kept our boys home, my weight lost and insomnia has worsen to an unhealthy level. It was cough up the money for class or cough up the money for potential depression.

Some people may not need "me" time and only need quiet time. I fall under the category of people who need time away from my kids for my emotional recharging. (ETA: as in me alone time. Not with other moms. Not couple time)

What I tell people I know who ask is that budget for some outside drop off classes or babysitters so that if you need that "me" time, you won't feel bad spending that money. Or that their hubby is going to be able to take their kids off so that mom gets her "me" time.

For christmas break, my kids went to a 1 week day camp costing us over $1k. It gave me 5 relaxing days to do whatever I want for myself. This summer they will be at some robotics camps so I'll have my "me" time.

 

ETA:

My boys are still at the climbing furniture and trees if they are outdoors stage :lol:  Lots of cuts and bruises has not deterred them.

 

ETA:

My mom came over and stayed with me to help when my kids were babies and toddlers.  They climb out of cribs, strollers, demolish baby gates and what have you :)

 

I think that this post rasies some very valid points. I've considered trying to "trade days" with another mom. I.e. 4 hours per week (or all day if feasible) the moms switch off each week who watches all of the children for that day. That would mean that every other week I would have time to run errands or just peruse the Target aisles dreaming of days that I might be able to afford something. ;) It wouldn't be much, but it would be something.

 

I'm also going to reinstate (we did this before PS) quiet time each day. From 11a-1p all kids will be in their room and they are not to come out until 1pm with the exception of an emergency or the restroom. They may color, draw, play, nap, whatever... I don't really care as long as it's not loud and they stay in their room. I have noticed most parents do 1 hour of quiet time, but I realised previously that I need 2 hours to really feel like I "got a break". During that quiet time I will have "me time". There won't really be a focus on marriage relationship during this time, because we spend time together alone after the kids are in bed in the evenings as well as we take walks alone, etc. I may surf the web, rest, watch TV, even prepare lesson plans during that time ... just whatever I feel like doing.

 

Now, that does mean that either A) school will need to be finished by quiet time (not very likely) or B) the day will be split up into work sessions or C) possibly I may need to move quiet time to later in the day.

 

Additionally, we have always had and will continue to have outside play time. Usually it's an hour minimum of outside play. That's not a "have to" though. The kids are more than happy to play outside all night if I would let them. I set a time just to limit the number of trips in and out the door because it drives dh crazy for the door to open and shut over and over. During the outside time I will work on dinner, though. It's alone time, but there's an agenda during that time.

 

So, that (theoretically) gives me 3 hours per day of somewhat quiet time. That's not bad. On errand day each week there will probably be less room time, because otherwise we won't be able to get everything done.

 

Lastly, I will be signing up for some sort of date night thing for dh and I. I know that a local church that we are familiar with does "pay what you can" date night 1x per month and it's about 6 hours of fun, games, movies, popcorn, etc. for the kids and then dh and I are able to have a date night even if that just means a movie and dinner at home. That's more than how often we get out right now, so it's a place to start! :)

[lovinmomma]

In some ways yes and some ways no.  We had so little time as a family while they were in school.  Evenings were filled with tons of homework and studying for tests and working on projects, all of it rushed, none of it to mastery or even a competent level, just rushing through one thing and another.  The kids were exhausted, stressed and had very little down time themselves.  During the day I was taking care of personal finances, the family business, the housework, and actually prepping the school materials for the kids so when they got home we could get through the studying, etc. relatively quickly or we would be at it til midnight.

 

I was honestly really scared about this.  I kept thinking that I was already overloaded and fighting for me time.  Bringing them home seemed just crazy.  It didn't turn out to be nearly as big an issue as I had anticipated, though.  In fact, it was a tremendous relief.  Bringing them home meant we could get through school mostly in the morning and I scheduled an hour every afternoon where they went to their rooms to listen to an audio book or music or play an educational video game or whatever while I had "me" time.  Afternoons were for extracurriculars or playing games or doing art projects, etc.  Evenings then were filled with a calm dinner, walking the dog, talking, playing a board game, etc.  The let up of all that stress was huge.  Being able to relax was wonderful.   And having that one hour each afternoon of "me" time was perfect because I was no longer stressing out so much in the evenings.  

 

Unfortunately, our schedule got a bit mucked up this year but I am hoping to get back to that for this next year.

 

I think for a lot of moms that didn't have that much they HAD to do during the day while the kids are at school or for parents that are very introverted it can be a bit of a shock and challenging to adjust to.  The main thing, IMHO, would be to make certain when they first start that they schedule that "me" time, make it a MUST (although challenging to do while homeschooling youngers and lots of kids), and try not to overschedule everything else when they first start.  Take things slow and introduce material slowly.  Also, they need to be willing to be more proactive in reaching out to other homeschooling adults to try to create adult friendships so they have someone to hang out with at least a couple of times a month without kids, if at all possible, KWIM?

 

And definitely be very proactive from the very beginning with finding ways to get out of the house without the kids at least a few times a month, as well as having some down time IN your home without the kids.  If "me" time is really important, then make it a real priority and don't feel guilty about it.  The mental health of the homeschooling parent is hugely important for long term homeschooling success, IMHO.

 

This is SO true!!! Our evenings are incredibly rushed with kids in PS. I'm way more busy now than I ever was HSing and I had little bitty kiddos. Great point! Thanks for that reminder. I was sorta panicking about the same thing as OP.

[lovinmomma]

My husband takes the kids to run errands and eat lunch every Saturday. I get me time then. I also make my own time in the morning and after the kids go to bed. And once about every 6-8 weeks, hubby takes the kids on an overnight trip, leaving me home to rest and relax. :)

 

I wouldn't have had me time until this fall if I'd sent the kids to school, as mine are just now all school age. So when my oldest was in school, I had less help with the little at home kids. As the kids get older, I find I need less me time, because I'm not having to be "always on" like I did with babies and toddlers. My 10 year old has gotten to the point where I wouldn't even notice he's here. He'll sit in his room playing or reading.

 

I'm an introvert, so yes, I need me time, but I've also worked to make that happen, even if it's just a couple hours at night after the kids go to bed.

 

Wow. You're husband is apparently a rockstart. lol! That's awesome.

[lovinmomma]

I work. That's "me" time. I made it a condition for consenting to homeschooling that I would not have to quit my job. My kids were in school until 5th grade. I did not have a hard time with the transition to having them home all day.

 

Of course, when the kids get older, you get a lot of free time during the day as well, because you don't have to be constantly "on".

 

See, and when I hs'ed before I didn't work and I'm kinda freaking out about trying to learn to work AND HS. My job is way too stressfull to consider work "me time". I do miss them when I'm working, though, so in that regard it helps to refresh me. I work nights... so that's a whole different story.

[lovinmomma]

This was my first thought. I am extremely introverted and need alone time to decompress and re-energize. Homeschooling does not really cause a problem for me, though. My dd is also introverted, but my ds is extremely extroverted. They are both very good about going off and playing by themselves when I don't need them or we're not schooling or hanging out. So, my initial thought was if they're school age, they're old enough to go play. If they're not, they'd be home with you anyway. But, I appreciate the people who have brought other points-of-view to the table; since I like to be home, I didn't even consider this:

 

 

That's a good point that I hadn't thought about. Before, I needed daily quiet time, weekly couple of hours to myself, etc. but I had small children that were nursing, or co-sleeping and waking up every few hours, etc. Now that they're older I may not have the same problem. My kids are fairly independent.

[lovinmomma]

:grouphug:  Sympathy! I remember those stressful days with very high-need young ones and needing to "not be needed"  and having a hard time finding a way of making that happen. :(

 

 

Ideas for right now:

1. Start and enforce 1 hour after lunch quiet time -- everyone on their own bed, or in their own special space/on a blanket each in a different room,  and each can nap, look at books, listen to music or book on tape or have a quiet toy or activity or busy-bag of safe items. You may need to work up from 10 minutes, and add a few minutes a day to get to an hour to get everyone into this habit, but WAY worth it for YOU! See these to help you get started: "Calm the Chaos: Using Quiet Times Throughout the Day"; "The Importance of Quiet Time"; Discovery Quiet Time (probably for starting at age 5)

 

2. Once a day for 1 hour, put in an educational video tape, or stream a video -- it's not going to ruin your children to watch TV for one hour, and esp. if it's things like There Goes a Bulldozer, Mr. Rogers, Leap Frog DVDs, Let's See How They Grow series, early Sesame Street episodes...

 

That gives you 2 hours of quiet time in your home at no cost to help as decompression time for you, esp. if you do those back-to-back… :)

 

 

Ideas to start looking into once you have the above 2 ideas implemented

- trade day care with a friend who has similar-aged children; one day a week she takes all of yours for 3 hours, and another day a week you take all of hers for 3 hours

- homeschooler (or private school, or other) reliable teen who would like to volunteer once a week for 2-3 hours, and count the hours towards community service

- able-bodied retired person you know from your church, neighborhood or other, who would be willing to "be grandma" once a week for 2-3 hours

- some churches offer a weekly "mom's morning out" -- free care of the kiddos for 2 hours while you rest, run errands, or get your "me time"

- contact the homeschool groups in your area and ask for advice and references -- there may be a mom like me whose children have graduated but who would dearly LOVE to come alongside once a week and "homeschool" another mom's young ones

 

 

 

The next step: self-care

Absolutely critical that you are treating yourself well in this stage of life where your little ones are demanding so much:

- vitamins / supplements if needed

- rest / enough sleep

- good nutrition -- no sugars, sodas, or junk foods that leave you feeling worse than before consuming

- regular aerobic exercise (30-45 min/day, at least 3x/week) -- DH can watch kiddos when he's home to help; yes, he works 50+ hours/week, 6 days/week at his job -- Don't forget that  YOU are working 70+ hours a week (10 hours a day/7 days a week) at YOUR job of mom, wife, homemaker -- you need HIS support of YOU to make the marriage work just as much as he needs your support to make the marriage work

- at the least, daily put the kids in a double stroller/backpack and walk as briskly around the neighborhood as you can for 30 minutes

- daily short meditation/prayer time

- throughout the day as needed: deep cleansing breaths, 1-2 minute relaxation techniques

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, now that you have the emergency priorities in place, more research:

Is there anyway of re-prioritizing the budget to squeeze out $40-50 a month which could then be used. The biggies where people can often make changes to help reduce expenses (not saying ALL, or even any, will be feasible for your family, but having a starting point and reconsidering everything about how you spend really helps turn up areas that work for YOU :) ):

 

- reduce phone and internet plans, or go with a bundled cheaper rate, or go just with cell phones and cut the monthly land line cost, or...

- cut cable, Netflix, and streaming options -- check DVDs out of the library, read books, 

- reduce eating out

- eat more simply / reduce expensive convenience foods

- buy in bulk

- compare auto/home insurance plans

 

More tips on saving money, that you could then use towards weekly help for your "me time":

- Little Steps: 100 Tips for Saving Money for Those Just Getting Started

- 54 Ways for Saving Money

 

HUGS! And best wishes for finding what will help de-stress you! Take it one little step at a time and move towards mental health and a calmer de-stressed YOU! Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

You said it so much better than I! Great suggestions!

 

[lovinmomma]

I took the two olders out of school and yes it was terribly hard at first. Everyone is way different so I am not judging just giving it from my perspective. At first I became a witch and I got really mean to everyone. I looked forward to their dad walking in the door so I could leave. The grocery store, the drug store even just a drive anything at all. Then my oldest daughter came to me in tears one night saying she wanted to go back to school so I would be happy to see her again. Broke my heart totally. So I started thinking these days won't last. The days will come when I am not so needed and reading board books and driving to gymnastics will end, it will all end so it was cowboy up time. So I learned to deal and take baths with books and just hang out with my kids. For years that's how it was today my baby is gonna be 10 next week, my oldest is 17 and the days of being all over me have come to a halt. Next week I am actually going on a vacation away from the them for a week and I am gonna miss them so much. This is a first for me. I have also been a single mom for the last 6 years to them as well. They will be having their very first visit with their dad without me. What have I gotten out of it? I have amazing relationships with all my kids. I never lost any moments by being gone and have seen everything because I have always been there. I am not saying that this is the way everyone should do it or if you send your kids to camp you are a bad mom I am just saying this is how I looked at it and it worked for me. I knew my me time would come back someday and it slowly has. Truthfully there are some days I would trade this for chasing toddlers, changing diapers, watching barney for the millionth time and reading chicka chicka boom boom one more time. These days will end and you will look around and say what a ride I wish I could do it again.

 

Ahhh... thank you for that reminder!

[MiMi 4under3]

I never had the "me" time to lose, so I don't see it as being a hard transition. 

 

My kids are very close in age and were in school very briefly. 

 

I honestly feel I have more time with kids at home than when they were in school because we're on our own schedule and I decide when we do everything - including having quiet time or alone time.

 

I don't have to go in for school meetings, classroom activities, performances, curriculum night, meet the teacher night, etc. I don't have to hurry to get out the door in the morning with four lunch boxes packed. After school I don't have to waste time on boring "projects.' I don't have to rush home from errands for the bus, etc. I have more time to spend doing what I choose to do.

 

Yes, it's a huge PITA sometimes to do everything with your kids, but having kids in school never enabled me to have "me" time anyway. I'd clean the house, go food shopping, prepare dinner, run errands...

 

I guess some woman went shopping and had lunch with the girls - but that was never my style...

[SeaConquest]

Mine are still little, but my oldest was in preschool when he was an only, so I had the days to myself. I am a completely reluctant homeschooler because I need alone time. I am soooo not one of those people who can spend long periods of time with kids -- most likely because I had my kids pretty late in life and had already fallen into a pretty comfortable rhythm in my adult life. We live on our sailboat in large part so that my husband doesn't have to work very much and we can keep our housing expenses low (the biggest $$$ in most people's budgets in So Cal). Economizing on housing costs frees up money and time for me to get massages, mani/pedis, read fiction, and for my husband to go off adventuring with the kids while I drink wine by the pool. Without it, I'd go completely insane. :)

[CyndiLJ]

When our highest grade level son hit 5th grade and way ahead of his classmates when we started homeschooling.  I knew it would be best for him, and I knew another son would be needing to come home as well for he was sinking quickly.  

 

If I am being brutally honest, part of me really wanted to do it, and part of me selfishly clung to the concern of losing who I was and time for myself in all of it.  I also had a sneaking suspicion that once we started, we would never return to public school, I just had that gut feeling it would work for us eventually, even if we had a rough start.  I was right on that count :-)

 

What I didn't realize was how much I would enjoy it, and how that made a huge difference in how I felt about losing "me time".  They are older now, and I can leave for a lunch out sometimes, and I am intentional about being with friends one evening a week to get outside adult conversation with other women.  As much as I fretted over feeling trapped, it has never really happened.  

 

 

[Jkacz]

My children went to a private, half day preschool/kindergarten.  We didn't start homeschooling until this year as I was unhappy with our public 1st grade.  DS2 still attended private Kindergarten.

 

Last year - I would drop the kids off at 8:30/8:45 and head to the gym.  I would workout for an hour, take a shower and run an errand or 2 or working in my garden before picking up the kids at 11:45/12.  Afternoons were spent playing with the kids, cleaning the house and going to their activities.

 

This year - Drop DS2 off at 8:30 and work with DS1 until we picked up DS2 at noon.  Between commute time, homeschool science and art classes, etc, we were constantly stressed to get work done in 2 to 2.5 hours.  Afternoons were spent doing errands, cleaning the house and getting them to their activities.  Exercise has gone by the wayside and I have gained 25 pounds.  The only reason I am finally having some "me" time is because I spent the money to send the kids to camp for the week.  Unfortunately I am so burnt out that all I want to do is take a nap instead of my lofty plans to deep clean the house, mulch my gardens and get some much needed exercise. 

 

If my children never attended school, I might not realize what I am missing.  However, I really do miss my "me" time.  but I still don't regret homeschooling as I know that it was the right choice for our family.

 

Jenn

[kiwik]

I stay up late (too late) to have time to myself.

 

I suspect maybe introverts have more trouble with this issue, but that's purely speculation.

That is why I am up now. My kids do go to school but I work school hours so although I get away from kids time it is not me time. Most people i know whose kids are in school work outside the home. Then they try and fit in everything else round the edges.

[rutamattatt]

Our two boys were in PS through 3rd grade and K, and then we added our DD to the family and all started homeschooling.  I was REALLY concerned about the loss of my "ME" time - how would I keep up with the housework/grocery shopping/errands?  I used to see my friends each week to connect - how would that happen?  We were also adding a family member who needed a lot of attachment parenting - would I make it? 

 

The two things that have made a difference for me are 1. my DH's help, and 2. the age of my kids.

 

I think carving out "me" time and making it happen works here because it is my husband's priority.  Although he works from home most days, he can't help with the home schooling at all, so his role is to make sure that I get what I need (emotionally), especially when I've had what we refer to as a "gerbil day" - a day when you totally understand why some species eat their young.  DH helps with the grocery shopping and even makes (very) basic dinners for us a few times a week.  As part of my "salary", DH and I built in a long weekend away with my very dearest friend who lives 2 states away.  I also take weekends a few times a year to see touring musicals in different cities.  I LOVE theater, and having this little part of my life that is just for me has been beyond therapeutic.  I am a serial bather.  On those days when DH knows I have had a rough one, he simply says, "Why don't you go take a bath?"  I also don't spend as much time with friends because my need for alone time is greater.  Some relationships have sustained despite this, some haven't.

 

A lot of it is that my kids are older too.  I tell my friend who has 5 children under age 8, having toddlers and babies is like working a full time construction job, nursing job, and counseling job simultaneously.  Having littles is SO HARD.  It is wonderful (what I wouldn't do for that sweet baby smell!), but it is 100% on, all the time.  I can leave my kids home while I run to the store, go for a walk, take a bath.  So some of the "me" time takes care of itself with the ages of the children.

 

 

The other thing I found is that I actually need less me time now because the time I spend with my kiddos is not so stressful as a PP said.   Some of (not all of!) the taxing things between my kids and me were eliminated when the outside schedule was eliminated.  Don't get me wrong - I am no Maria Von Trapp or Mary Poppins here - but homeschooling changed a lot of dynamics in our house and some of those changes made for far easier relationships.

 

*I think it is REALLY important for people considering homeschooling to have this conversation.  It has taken us three years and a few ugly cries to figure out what I need to stay sane and content.  Having some plan on the front end would have saved a lot of Kleenexes from needless death.